Original subtitles

I've been meaning to say, about that money.

If you need another little lend, all you've got to do is ask.

200, do you?

Dan Brackson, nice to meet you, mate.

Weird. I feel you, sir.

We were married for 20 years.

There's a woman loitering at the end of the street. I'm watching her.

Weirdo. You've got too much time on your hands. She's drinking vodka straight

from the bottle.

Oh, my God, it can't be.

Stella, be careful. She's clearly a drunk.

Paula?

Hiya, Stella.

Waiting for you to come home, my wife.

And if the girls stop

playing kiss -chase, you start running this time.

See you.

Hey,

and no kicking.

You don't call, you don't write.

I'm starting to take it personally.

Being a bit tied up, like.

How do you know what I live?

I make it a habit of getting to know my clients.

Family included.

Shall we say 400 today, the rest next week?

The rest?

Interest rates.

Mine triple after a week.

Thing is, I'm a bit short.

Next week, Luke.

Don't wind me up.

18 months, Paul.

You could have told me you were coming.

I wanted to surprise you.

Yeah, well, you've done that all right.

And where to today?

Why have you been so cagey about him? I'm not.

Just a last -minute thing, that's all.

Look, I come back to see Auntie Brenda. I heard she'd had a heart attack and

thought I should check in on her.

Yeah, Ben, I haven't forgotten you.

What am I supposed to do with that?

Use your imagination.

Oh, I can all hate him. He's in love.

Shut up, ma 'am. In love?

How old is he now?

Twelve?

Seventeen.

Anyway, stop changing the subject.

You and me have been best friends since infants.

I know when you're hiding something.

All right, Sherlock.

Aunty Brenda said you were in a bad way because of the felony lad next door.

Yeah. She was worried you were going to do with Britney.

Shave your head.

Oh. I am not going to shave my head.

Just as well your face is too round.

Here he is.

Oh, is that the time?

Glennon Marge's donkey. Have a fit in for a new summer coat at half past.

What's wrong with her?

You're tamping because you abandoned him a year ago and went swarming off to

Tenerife. What?

Bobby's words, not mine. Thank you, Ben.

Right, you.

I'll come in with me.

We've got a lot of catching up to do.

Oh, hello again.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

I didn't introduce you properly before.

Michael, this is Paula, my best friend in the whole world, and she's also

married to my brother.

And, Paula, this is Michael.

He's my... ..next -door neighbour.

What, the bloke who broke your heart? The Aves.

I've heard a lot about you.

Yeah?

I've heard a lot about you too, good boy.

Oh, well, I remember.

I got some of your posts.

Oh. A law magazine and a catalogue about stairlift.

How strangely prophetic.

Right, better get on. I'm helping Alan with the night cafe opening.

Oh, yeah, I'll be going to that tonight.

Will you?

OK, well, good to meet you.

Paula? What, Ed?

Nice arse, mind.

Oi!

We're calling it Alan's After Dark.

What do you think?

About what? The name for the late night opening. Oh, I love it.

What did I just say?

Sorry, I was thinking about something else.

It's all about branding, see? Like, uh, Chelsea saw that Millennium Dunk.

It'd be great.

Is Dan still working at the hospital?

What?

I thought he might be leaving soon.

I don't know, Alan. Why don't you ask him yourself?

I'm going to be late.

The meat's marinated and then the veg is all chopped. See you.

So? So while I'm at college, all you've got to do is get some customers in.

Don't worry, everything will be fine.

I've just been looking at the rota.

Tell you what, I'm working tonight.

Yes, I'll hand you the pump.

Oh, that's child labour, that is.

You're not a child, Nadine.

No, but my unborn baby is.

And we, for one, are not working on night shift.

What do you think I am? A security guard?

You can find someone else to run your sweater shop.

But we need a waitress.

I'll get a new one.

I shouldn't be doing this.

airship. My face on one side, hashtag vote Aunty Brenda on the other.

How much?

You just send the bill to Di Davis.

You've got a visitor.

Aunty Brenda.

Well, look who the cat has dragged in. The Scarlet Pomponella herself.

Three years it's been.

Not a post.

card, a phone call, heaven for Fen to create a sangria at Christmas.

Hang on a sec. I thought you said Auntie Brenda called you. Oh, gosh.

Next of kin, kind of.

So, how's she doing, Doctor?

Every breath a struggle it is.

Knowing each one might be my last.

She can be discharged tomorrow.

She's got a low -fat diet to follow and a light exercise routine.

But all in all, she's made a speedy recovery.

That's great news.

I should go.

That's Morris.

Mr Honey.

What? That doctor is practically undressing you with his eyes, you know.

half. Tell her.

All right.

He asked me out last week.

You bit his hand off, I hope.

No.

Trust me. Best way to get over your solicitor. Get under a knife, doctor.

Right. I am off to Daddy's house.

Face the music.

Before you go, get me the number of Al's Café, cos I ain't touching the food in

here with the watch at all.

I've got a very important business meeting now, Luke. I may be some time.

Aye, all right.

High -powered negotiations, it is.

None's the word.

Hey! Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't even think about it, Keckers.

My cash knock did nothing for him.

What cash?

Signed up with an agency and everything.

Are you a model?

I'm a lady's companion.

What? Women pay me to have dinner with them. Keep them company -like.

Are you for real?

I've got three grand burning a hole in my pocket.

Hey.

I was about to take you on a test drive.

No, you're all right.

Looking for someone a bit more classy -like.

Ewan!

This is Carl, my executive assistant.

Pleasure to meet your acquaintance, bud.

I wonder if we're still in time for the early bird special.

I think it's best we keep a clear head, don't you?

So, I'm intrigued.

What exactly is it I can do for you?

Not what you can do for me, Di.

It's what I can do for you.

You all right?

I don't know.

Since you turned up, I haven't stopped thinking about you.

See, I put you out of my mind, you know.

I got used to not wondering where you were or what you were doing, and it was

much easier that way.

Because I see you now and I think of Liam.

You remind me.

We might stay together, you know?

Do you ever think about that?

I can see a lot of life in you And I think the dress

looks nice on you I can see a lot of life in you

Pleasure doing business with you, Ewan.

I'll have my solicitor get on to it straight away.

Remember this day, Carl. A moment in history, this is.

How's that?

Because I, Di Davis, have just put one over on one of Pontebelli's brightest

businessmen.

So, you're a little short -staffed this evening, then? Nope, I'm a little low

-staffed. Nadine refuses to work nights.

Auntie Brenda has called with an order for meatballs.

Meatballs? Shouldn't she be watching what she eats?

The woman's on her deathbed, Michael Jackson.

And there you are, trying to deprive her of her last meal.

Disgusting, it is.

I'll take him at the hospital myself.

Might drop in and see Celia.

Everything OK?

The ex -husband's still knocking about with the physio.

Just want to keep an eye on him, is that it?

Bloody gorgeous, Michael.

Aren't they meant to compete?

What?

If I was Celia, I know who I'd go for.

Who?

Oh, you, of course. I'd choose you.

Really?

Yeah.

I'll get those meatballs.

What, because she just turned up out of the blue?

Yeah, like she'd never been away.

That's Paula Cosh for you.

Unpredictable to a T.

You OK?

Yeah. Well, you were really quiet today.

Stella.

I'm getting the coffee, dear.

You ladies fancy one? No, thanks. Come on, then. I'll meet you there.

Cappuccino. With cinnamon and chocolate.

Oh, my God.

Are you two up to no good?

What? Shut up. God, imagine if I heard you talk like that. All right. Sorry.

You've got to admit it is a bit odd.

We're just two old friends catching up, that's all.

Hiya, it's Luke Morgan.

Come in.

Tell me, Luke, would you say you're well -versed in current affairs?

The art?

Huh? Because we're not just talking cosy dinners here.

Only last night, one of my clients was looking for someone to accompany her to

Tosca.

I was at the new place by the ring road.

Take off your shirt.

Yeah, what?

Well, if you're going to insist on cracking such awful jokes, the least you

do is look pretty.

So, what do I have to do on these dates, like? You smile.

You make them feel like they're the only woman in the room.

I'm not going to sleep with them.

What do you think this is?

Some kind of knocking shop?

Sorry. I shouldn't have come here.

The clients pay £80 an hour.

£80? That's right.

Now, mountain yourself up.

Go for your first job tonight.

I thought it'd be nice to have them all together in one album.

I was going to give it to you earlier.

This is lovely.

Celia, my contract ends tomorrow.

Right. And I want you to come back with me.

To Cumbria.

Dan, what are you talking about? Look, I know it sounds insane, but life's too

short, and I honestly think that me and you, we gave up too soon.

I think you feel the same way, but you're just too scared to say it.

You two bitching off?

Oh, Alan.

Just visiting Auntie Brenda, I am. Right.

Dan found some old photos of Liam.

I should be getting back.

What's that smell?

Yeah, sweet bones.

Worried you might get hungry or something?

Hiya. All right?

Will you bath and will I get a tea on?

Oh, you can only get changed.

Why? Where are you going?

I said I'd meet the aunt off for a pint.

We're in trouble.

Oh, OK.

I was hoping we could have a bit of dinner and a chat.

What's wrong?

We got another letter from the bank today.

I'm sorting it. How?

We've got some money coming in later.

We only got paid last week.

An old maid of mine owes me a bit of cash like, so... Be fine.

We got spinach, cabbage, celery.

It's all got to be green, see?

I couldn't find no broccoli, so I used mint choc chip instead.

And this is all I can have?

No food, no buns, no nothing.

My card is where I buy they do.

That's why you've got the body of a Greek goddess.

And I've sorted you some cover for this evening, so don't say I don't take no

responsibility for nothing.

Oh, dear me.

What are you doing back here? I thought you were going to see Daddy.

I wasn't in. I've just been talking to my new BFF, Geoffrey Honey, about Alan's

thing tonight.

You don't look like a Geoffrey. And he said he would love to go along.

So? With you still.

You're going to ask him that or what?

No! God!

What is wrong with you?

Just think about it. all the hours of fun you were going to have playing

and nurses.

We are doctors and nurses. Not to mention prescription drugs on tap.

Miss Honey, I am so sorry about my ex -bedfriend.

No, no, please don't apologise.

I'd love to have dinner with you.

I'll meet you there after my shift.

There's excited.

Please leave.

Have you ever waitressed before?

I delivered a foal once. I took it with Glenn's best braces to yank him out.

What about you?

God, no.

So, let me get this right.

I get to drink as much as I want for free.

This is like the best job ever.

Just set the tables, will you?

All right.

Listen, love, we're fully staffed now, so why don't you get home? Have a good

night.

Are you sure?

Yes. I am a bit out of thoughts.

Thank you.

How's Dan today?

Fine. Well, you saw yourself, didn't you?

Of course.

Of course.

Alan, haven't you done something different?

It's just you look a bit... What, slimmer?

No. Strange.

You're standing oddly.

Have you got cramp?

No. No.

See you later.

Ow! For God's sake.

Dad? Hey, Katie.

Well, I've seen it all now.

You ironing. Well, I need it for tonight.

Alan's late opening thing.

I thought we could try it out.

And, er, is Stella going by any chance?

Um, she said she might pop along.

Is that the best you can do? Can I tack you out on a date?

Sent.

Please tell me you're joking. What are you shouting about?

Aunty Paula's only gone and ruined my life. Yeah, well, get used to it if I

you, Press. You've set me up with my boss.

Oi! In case conversation dries up, at least he's got something to look at.

Oh, I feel like I'm back in school. What am I doing?

Now, you listen to me, young lady. You deserve a man who is going to worship

ground that you walk on. All right?

So you get out there and you show him what us Pontyberry girls are made of.

Admit you.

Hazel is there?

You must be Luke.

Come on, then.

Jump in.

Where are we going, then?

I thought this looked fun.

No way. I can't do it. Do what?

People know me in there.

The owner's my ma 'am's friend.

Ah.

Well, I suppose I could call Carly.

All right.

but we say you're a business client.

Ooh, role play.

How exciting.

Welcome to Annan's After Dark.

Here to serve us your every need.

Evening, Al.

Just you and the client of Di's, I am. She's interested in the fleet of taxis

she has.

We've made a booking under the name of Hazel Miller.

Excellent. Excellent.

I've got a table in the corner.

Follow me.

Thank you.

I'll send Marjorie over with the menu.

Fine. I'll do it myself.

Sorry.

This is all new to me.

Don't worry.

I'll go gentle with you.

Well, Aaron, any chance of some red sauce?

Yeah, I'll be with you in a sec.

Glenn, have you bought your own food?

Aye. Cheap bit, that way, see?

Table for two, please, Al. Not too much trouble.

I'll be up by the window.

Hello.

Here we go.

Ma 'am, this is Hazel.

She's a client of Di's, she is.

Hello.

Luke's been running me through his rather impressive portfolio.

Has he?

Yeah.

If you don't mind, ma 'am, we've got contracts to discuss.

That's all right.

I won't cramp your style.

You just make sure Di Davis picks up the bill.

Oh, don't worry. It's on me.

Nurse Morris.

I'm sorry I'm late. I had to rush to the clean.

Ah.

Just over there.

I expect you do this all the time, do you? Whining and dining nurses.

You're the first, actually.

Oh, I prefer them a bit higher up the food chain, do you?

No, I mean you're the first person I've been out with since my wife died.

Oh.

So, what is it you do, then, when you're not saving lives?

Tapeworms, mainly.

Or intestinal parasites.

Fascinating creatures.

You lost something?

Um, if you could be any animal on the planet, which would you be and why?

Al, you OK?

Yeah, it's an old lollipop injury.

It's just your face seems a little... Flushed? Puse. Yeah.

Table for two, please.

Just sit wherever you want.

It's really busy.

Yeah.

Oh, what a nice surprise.

Why? I told you I was coming this morning.

You look nice.

Doesn't she, Dad?

Absolutely.

Thanks. Do you want to join us?

I can't.

It's just... It's not what you think.

Well, actually, it probably is what you think.

I'm just going to get a menu.

Don't let's keep you.

Shall we?

Are you ready to order?

Could you tell us what the specials are, please?

That's right.

You've got them written down, Prash.

What's that, then? The specials?

I'll just go and find out for you.

Oh,

Marge?

Are you ready to order?

You're going to find it rather special for us. That's right.

You let me know when you've made up your mind.

If you could be any character from literature, who would it be and why?

With that and from.

What are you doing down there?

Oh, my God, is that... Prompt cut.

I was just about to move on to Impressionist painters.

Don't we turn a kid.

I don't think I'm ready for this either.

Sorry, I'm just a little out of practice.

Look, I tell you what.

Let's just forget about being on a date and enjoy the food.

If we ever get to eat.

I got orders mounting up, you know.

Didn't feel you coming up.

Order at table five.

There's nothing on it.

Don't worry.

It's all up here.

Fancy dessert?

Actually, it's getting a bit late. Do you mind if we skip it?

Of course not.

Let's make up for it next time, though.

Oh, before I forget, this is for you.

Thank you.

Trust me, the pleasure's been all mine.

I remember the first date I ever went to the Science Museum.

I got so nervous that I went and hid in the gym.

And then I got locked in.

How long were you in there for?

Um, 14 hours.

Oh, Blair.

How old were you?

27.

You're quite handsome, I suppose.

Oh, thanks, Katie. I can always rely on you to boost my flagging self -esteem.

What do you expect?

He's got himself into this mess.

Which is why I intend to sort it. How?

By sitting here while Stella goes on a date with another man.

Nice one, Dad.

The meal's out, Mia. It's a kitchen. What to expect?

Marge, I can't read a word this has.

Round loaf, washing powder, three dozen sugar lumps.

Oh, it's my shop business!

Loves a Thermidor for table six.

Loves a Thermidor's not on the menu.

Now he tells me. Look at all these plates just sitting here. I can't work

these conditions.

Thick, medium red, table four.

Do you want a job doing properly?

Mark.

I haven't had this much fun in ages.

I can't breathe.

You've got purple.

Please.

Get me a business.

Sorry, Albert. We're still waiting on our... What are you wearing?

I thought I heard you go out.

Can't see the walk.

Don't smoke no more.

Well, you've changed.

Do you remember the first time we bunked off school and come up here?

During a sponsored run.

Yeah, you nicked a bottle of Cinzano from your mum's cabinet and I passed out

under that bush over there.

So go on then, how was last night?

Oh, don't get me wrong.

He's a nice guy, he's just not Michael.

You and I don't know how lucky you are, still together after all these years.

Hmm.

What?

Paula? We had a fight.

That's why I come back here. I didn't have nowhere else to go. I knew there

something. What was it about this time?

Do you know, I can't even remember.

You two are always rowing.

Doesn't mean you're not mad about each other.

Yeah. Look, do you want to come and help me blow up some balloons for Auntie

Brenda's welcome home party?

No, you're all right.

I'm going to stay up here for the day.

I'd give it two weeks before you and I are ripping each other's clothes off

again.

Can't you? Come on.

It would have been a real eye -opener for me, this half, watching you

all flaving away, and to what end?

so that good men like me get to fight on for another day.

Well, let me tell you something now.

You lot are the beating heart of this valley, and I, for one, am going to make

sure health is top of my agenda. Remember, a vote for Aunty Brenda is a

life!

And I'll see you later, kid.

Looking forward to it.

Get me out of this stinking suspect.

Easy one about.

I've got something for you.

He's been and gone, mate.

Any tips for the one o 'clock?

Well, according to this, your expenditure last night outweighs your

almost 20%. Well, that's healthy.

That means you lost money, Alan.

Do you mind if I shoot off?

No, of course.

Alan, you may as well know I'm meeting Dan for a drink before he heads off.

I just didn't want you to think I was going behind your back.

Everything's OK, is it?

No.

But it will be.

Here I am, a walking medical miracle, and not so much as a brass band to

me home.

Shame in it.

Sorry I'm late.

Have a seat, kid.

Oh, don't tell me. Auntie Brenda invited you and all.

What? No, I'm meeting Celia.

She's probably in the back.

Hey, Dan.

Her and Alan, they're doing all right, you know.

And Alan's an old friend of mine.

Sort of look out for each other.

I really wouldn't want to see him get hurt.

Sure. But at the end of the day, Celia is a grown -up, isn't she?

Stella!

Get this man a sausage on a stick!

I'm going to shake your hand back.

Save Andy Brenda's life, you did.

Like last year.

I think you'll find Nurse Morris also played an integral part in your

Every time I take a breath... Oh, hiya.

Sorry, hope I'm not interrupting.

I just wanted to bring these flowers to the place.

Thank you.

How did you know where to find her? I invited her.

Oh, right.

Well, have a seat.

Seriously, what is your problem that you have to keep sticking your nose in

everywhere? Shut up.

You love it.

You've seen the man.

What's Celia want with a pantomime horse when she's got a stallion in the

stable? Right, I'm calling Celia.

I'm still punched with Dan.

Doing what?

Running off together, for all I know.

You need to go after her.

Too late.

Winprice tried to woo me once with pickled eggs. Went on for months, they

Every time I went in that chip shop.

I couldn't take it no more, so I had to come clean to Carl, I did.

What did he do?

Threw him in, he was.

Fists all clenched, sweat dripping from his brow.

My big beast.

I can do this.

I can do this!

That was right. Alan, you're a nice bloke.

It's not like you're married, is it?

I mean, you've only known him five minutes.

And it's kinder to do this now than drag the whole thing out.

Oh, you did make assumptions, didn't you?

What?

Coming here, assuming I'd drop everything and leap into your arms.

Just like you assumed I'd bounce back after Liam and keep looking after you.

What? And you assumed I'd put up with your drinking and shouting... Why are

bringing all this up now?

Until you were ready to sort yourself out. I did sort myself out. I stopped

drinking. It was about you, wasn't it, Dan? That's the whole point.

I'm not the same person.

I've changed.

Things have changed.

You're right about that.

Things have changed.

It's been really lovely to see you again, Dan. I mean that.

But it's made me realise I don't want to see you again.

I have a good man in Alan. He really loves me.

And my life's with him now.

See you.

Came looking for you, didn't I?

But you came too late, love.

I think you're making a mistake.

I know that I'm not.

Look after yourself, Dan.

Please don't leave me, Celia.

What?

I haven't eaten since yesterday.

Alan, what are you talking about?

I may not have a six -pack, but... I've got a big heart.

And a coffee.

You got it all wrong.

Yeah, and so did I.

Good luck.

I tell you what's worrying my constituents.

Self -service checkouts.

Hiya. Hiya.

All right?

Do you want a drink?

I'll have a lager, please.

My Luke's looking tired.

Too many nights out whining and dining your clients, is there?

What clients?

Uh, Hazel, something.

They're at the cafe last night.

Don't know Hazel.

Knew Horace once.

Tall as a tree and twice as shady.

I hear you live mostly on the continent.

Tenerife, yeah.

I know one sentence in Spanish.

Una patata frita, por favor.

Black chips, please.

It's impressive.

So you're not a man of many tons, I take it?

No, just one ton.

Um, can I get you a drink?

Go on, then.

Surprise me.

It's not what you're thinking.

Really? I've only done it once.

Done what?

That woman, you know.

I got paid to take her out, OK?

She paid you?

Yeah, she did. Oh, my God, you are a real prostitute.

Don't talk soft. I just kept her company, that's all.

Pays well, and we need the money.

So ask me for help.

Well, you're not exactly rolling in it yourself.

Right, well, I'll get another job, too, whatever it takes. Just promise me

you'll give it up.

It's a lot of money, ma 'am.

Promise me, Luke.

All right.

Enjoying yourself?

I am, as it happens.

Actually, one of the family.

Everyone's been very welcoming.

She's quite a woman, isn't she?

And from what I can gather, she could teach me a thing or two.

I beg your pardon?

You leave Ponteberry without so much as a finger buffet at the club.

Not a thought for me and Addy up to our eyes in debt.

And then you have the audacity to waltz back into town like Liza Minnelli on a

comeback tour.

Where were you when we... when I needed you?

Hmm?

Oh, God, I missed you.

I missed you too.

You'd be a bloody idiot.

It'd be earlier without you.

This town might as well carry a label saying 100 % polyester.

I lost him, Bobs.

Who now?

Diamond. Who do you think?

We're getting divorced.

Yeah. I think perhaps I'll leave you to it.

Don't walk away from me, honey.

Will you two just pack it in? I think we should settle this the old -fashioned

way, don't you? What are you doing?

Who'd you thought it?

Two grown men fighting over telemarketing.

Well, come on, then.

Give me your best shot. Oh, for goodness sake.

Don't say I didn't offer.

I think I've broken my hand.

Is there a doctor in the house?

What?

Regular fingers for me.

You're fine.

Mum, it's Lily.

She said yes to a date.

What was it about, anyway?

You, mainly.

I can't. I know. It's none of my business.

Me and Mr. Herney were just friends.

Hey, did you know his first name's Geoffrey?

Doesn't look like a Geoffrey.

That's what I thought.

Can we go home now?

You OK?

I haven't been this upset since the 31st of May, 1998.

Why, what happened?

Cherry left the Spice Girls.

No, not then, now.

I'm surprised.

They always did have a very volatile relationship.

We're still on the Spice Girls.

Pull a die!

Get him divorced.

She told me it was just a row.

Where is she?

Has Dan gone?

Yeah.

Everything's all right with you and Al?

Not quite.

But it might be.

Who are the gods, this?

Alan?

You all right? No.

What is it?

What's happened?

Alan Williams.

Oh, I've had to write it down. I'm not nervous.

From the first day I met you, you have consistently made me smile.

I feel safe and happy whenever I'm next to you.

And even when I'm not next to you, I feel safe and happy.

Because I know how much you love me and how much I love you.

Apart from my boy Liam, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

So I want to know if you will do me the honour.

Of becoming my wife.

Husband. I mean, husband.

Will you marry me, Alan?

No job, no husband, and no idea what to do with myself.

Thinking of a fancy dress theme.

Well, you know what they say about second weddings.

They do always end in divorce.

For a nurse, you have terrible bedside manner.

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