Original subtitles

You're an idiot.

No, you're an idiot. I called you it first, so... I called it you second,

Apart from my son being born, getting this interview has been the biggest

of my life.

I got it! I got it!

Word on the street is business is bad.

We've got stiffs coming at us from all over South Wales, haven't we, Daddy?

You sold it, then?

Moving in tomorrow.

Oh, what?

Oh, God, not you.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Shut up.

For

God's

sake.

Ma 'am, I can't find my straightener.

In the dirty linen basket.

What are you doing there?

I hid them from Jack. Jack was playing with her.

Starting early today, Preb. People need pizza 24 hours a day, Mum.

It's the seventh emergency service.

Ben, little Alan, you awake yet?

She never stops nagging. Because she's on the menopause. Why do you smoke?

Stress.

I did.

You've been smoking.

No, I haven't.

Ben, don't insult my bloody intelligence. I can smell it.

Go on.

Tell her. Tell her what?

It was little Al. What? No, it wasn't. Are you serious?

No point denying it, mate. He's on ten a day. Oh, shut up. No, I'm not. I don't

believe him. Tell her don't smoke, honestly.

He's stressed he is, man. Because of his dad and that.

He was crying earlier and then he lit up.

Look, you and Dad, it's strong as an egg.

It's only a little health scare.

They'll be letting him out today, you watch.

But smoking is not the answer. You've got to knock it on the head, Prash,

you get addicted.

You used to smoke?

Yeah, but I don't anymore, do I? Because it's stupid and disgusting.

Cheers, little R.

I owe you one.

Hiya!

Hoodie, hoodie!

Coming in?

No, no, my niece arrived last night. We've left her in charge of the shop.

God help her.

How is Emma Sitterhans doing?

We've only made that joke four times.

Three times?

Excited she is. Hey, I saw Sunny the other day in a water... He's proper on

way now. He needs to be coming a doctor.

Yes, we're very proud.

Yeah, me too.

Proud of Emma, like it. Oh, come on, Miss Stella.

We can hardly compare being a doctor with being a hairdresser. Right, let's

shall we, Abra? People are always going to need medical attention, but we cannot

survive without haircuts.

Oh, I don't know, Tom.

Them split ends are looking a bit dangerous.

Bye, Ab.

Aunty Brenda?

Jack, turn up.

Now, remember, we keep ourselves to ourselves, head down straight to the

we encounter any natives, don't look them in the eye.

Sorry!

I was wrestling then, all right?

Not really, no. I was kept awake all night by someone's dog barking.

Well, don't look at me.

How do you know it's my dog?

Some people can recognise birdsong.

I can identify the bark of over 23 different types of canine, and that bark

from a Parson Jack Russell male.

But you're a fun night out. I have owned dogs all my life, and there's one thing

I know. A noisy dog is not a happy dog.

Now, if it happens again, I'll be informing the RSPCA. Today.

Wish me luck.

Oh, good luck, Trey.

Good luck, Kit. Thanks.

Wash now.

Mr. Jolly Chop will have you arrested.

Mr. Williams.

Dr. Hugh Lechwen, Risa Bloyd, Machynlleth.

Sorry? Dr. Hugh Lechwen, Risa Bloyd, Machynlleth.

All right. Well, the good news is you'll be going home later today.

Great.

What's the bad news?

You're severely and dangerously overweight.

Am I? Yes.

But panic not.

I've got you a leaflet.

Hey, I couldn't get in the front.

It's a massive queue.

I know.

Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?

Don't that mean the special offer have taken off?

Exactly. They'd have taken off, flown away and spiralled out of control.

They're all in there now, grasping their leaflets and clamouring to be served.

I've left Daddy on his own amidst the throng.

What am I going to do, Stella?

Bob, you've just got a glutton at the moment, that's all.

It'll pass.

And remember, there's always some poor bugger worse off than you. Look at me.

I've got a horrible bloke moved in next door.

Like, narky -tharky -thod.

Have you got a spare room?

What for?

Because I'm looking for somebody to take a few steps.

Oh. I can't survive.

I can run a person, but they can't run around.

Well, I'm sorry, Daddy, but I can't face it.

Yes, you can.

Daddy, you get back in there and you stem the floor. Bob's will be with you

in a minute.

Now, listen here, Bobby Kittins.

You are made of stronger stuff than this.

You can do it.

Pull yourself up by your G -strength, you get back in there, and you undertake

it like you have never undertaken before.

Do you hear me?

Yes. Thank you, Stella.

And you still owe me five quid for these.

Oh.

Hello. Hello.

The till system is pretty complicated, and we don't want to frighten you off on

your first day, so for now you can start where every great hairdresser starts

their career, with a brush in their hand.

Get sweeping.

Oh, and Emma, no fucking swearing on the shop floor, OK?

And so, when you are accompanying doctor on his or her ward round, you speak

when spoken to, and you do your utmost to accommodate his or her request.

You are the nurse, he or she is the doctor, whatever that be told.

Now, can anyone tell me what the hospital's protocol is when addressing a

seizure?

If everyone could just calm down, we guarantee you will be seen. I've got a

uncle, 93, and a maiden aunt who's on the way.

This two for one, what's the tell -by date?

There is no tell -by date.

No, there isn't.

We at Simpsons promise to pick up where Garrix hath of left of, and to honour

all the... their previous customer commitments, as well as her own special

offer. Excuse me.

Barry, love, I've been meaning to phone, but things have gone mentalistic since

Garrix went under.

You've been very quiet, Bob.

Me and Rhys and me have been feeling a bit abandoned.

Is the deal still on, Bobby G?

Well, yes, sirree, the deal is still on.

Just let me get through this lot and I'll be over to pick him up. Half a

you said, wasn't it?

Oh, no, six, we said.

Six. Have you got the room?

Of course we've got the room.

I'll be in touch.

So help me, Daddy, if you say demand the strip in supply one more time, I won't

be liable for my action.

Right, who's next?

Blubberbatter. Right, five pound a week I got to lose.

Sad.

Doctor.

I think he said he thought his name was.

Oh, I know him.

Anyway, it's a class tonight at the Brackey. I thought I'd try first and see

little Harold would come with me.

Oh, Christ, you're all rancid, aren't you?

Nadine. Nadine?

Yes, to make a fortune, apparently.

I don't care who runs it. The party's over still.

I've got to get healthy.

Start with my food.

Pizza for Williams?

The Weetabix they gave me for breakfast.

Sick of Weetabix.

Morning. Michael Jackson, filter.

Here to see Lenny Mack.

Straight up.

Who I was when I come in here ain't the person to be walking out here next

month. I've changed, Mike.

It's Michael.

And at the risk of sounding like a hardened old cynic, I'm afraid I've

that a thousand times before.

I've been going to meetings in here.

AA, NA, CA.

No one asked you what the C stands for.

Anyway, it's changed away a few things, you know?

Don't tell me you found God.

I found something.

I wanted a way to visit me, so that I could make my amends to him.

I was an arsehole, and I know that now.

No comment.

I'm all buzzed on there.

On the address, Pentagon Street, she lives.

Number 23.

Number 23?

Yeah.

I wanted to bring the kid and all, so I could make amends to him.

Can I have a pizza?

Right, that's 18 .75, please. Why is she paying?

Well, look who it is.

Pukey Lukey.

Cackers.

Do you order these? Who's paying?

Stick them on the table.

Not till you pay me.

Fine, I'll stop twanking about and give him a cash. Stay out of it, knobhead.

Why do I keep a cock on?

Whoops.

I dropped it.

How do you want to pick it up?

Thought I recognised you, Lukey boy.

You and me have got a mutual friend who's getting out soon.

And he's really looking forward to seeing you again.

Now jump back on your bum boy scooter.

And fuck off home to your missus.

Or should I say, his missus.

For bumping into me or for sleeping with my wife?

Look, this isn't ideal, but we've got to work together.

So can we just try and behave like grown -ups and get on?

What, like you've been getting on Jan for the past 18 months behind my back?

Well, that's not very grown -up. I don't feel very grown -up, Andy.

Look, it's hard for her too, you know. The guilt.

Zoe, this is Michael Jackson here.

Hee -hee!

Sorry, I always do that when I first introduce myself.

Gets rid of the whole name embarrassment thing.

Anyhoo, I'm Lenny Phyllisper, and I visited him this morning.

And as you may or may not know, he's due for release shortly, and he's asked if

you'd go and visit him.

before he gets out.

Perhaps you could give me a ring on 368368 or my mobile 07700 900

736 and we can have a chat.

And you're going to find this out soon enough, but you and I are actually next

-door neighbours.

Hi, Dad.

Anyway, give me a call. Bye. Go to bed.

Don't call me that in public.

What are you doing here?

Something wrong, is there?

No, just missing you, that's all.

Oh, hi.

Now, look, sweetheart, this thing between me and your mum... You can say

Dad. The word is divorce.

Sorry, I just... Now, you know we love you very much, don't you? And it's not

your fault.

You've been reading that book again, haven't you?

Broken home, broken heart.

How to tell your kids you hate each other now, but it's not because of

they did.

So cynical for one so young.

Sandwich?

Thought we could eat together, then you can drop me back at school.

Utterly splendid idea.

Michael, it's true that kids... Oh, hi, Mum.

Why aren't you at school? If you've absented yourself without permission...

calm down. There's a good egg. She's come to visit her old man.

OK?

That was easy -peasy lemon squeezy.

For yourself, I thought it was rock.

Oh, I love it when he talks all oldie -worldie. What are you on about?

You know, like they did in the 50s when he was growing up?

Rock, rock hard.

Tom, I did not grow up in the bloody 50s. I'm 44.

I know.

It's amazing.

And because I know your memory ain't so good, I'll teach you my learning

technique, if you like.

What it is, I get a list of things I've got to learn, and I put them to music.

So, like, say today, now, with lung conditions, I go, asthma, influenza,

pneumonic tuberculosis, or TB.

That way, it sticks in my head, like. Yeah, really catchy tune, that, Fred.

Yeah, thanks.

Well, it's still chronic, obstructive pulmonary disease.

If chair elaster I am, cover for me. I've got to nip home and put a couple of

washes on. I'm well behind with the iron.

But I haven't finished my song yet.

I've got a whole entire verse about inhalers.

Sit in a chair and look ill.

I don't need a chair. No, but I need an excuse.

Come on.

The thing is, Bob, these bodies are going like hotcakes.

And if you can't take them today, then I know another undertaker not a million

miles from me who'd snap them up in a... one of them.

I presume you're talking about Gwynne Thomas and Thomas, Thomas, Edmund and

Thomas. Gwynne Thomas. The very same. I know that.

Sorry, Bob.

But it's a cutthroat business, as you know.

Fine.

I'll take them back with me now. Load them up.

You know what you want to ask to go blubberbusters with you?

The idea of this.

Because you could do with shifting a few pounds.

I was hoping you might consider coming.

I've been on weight, haven't I?

Just bloody HRT in it.

Gives you the horn as well, doesn't it?

How do you know that?

I know quite a lot about the female anatomy as it goes.

Oh, you're disgusting!

Tell him on it!

Question. Do you actually want to be a nurse?

Yeah, of course I do. I love nursing.

Because I've got so many other things I've got to get sorted and... You've had

two yellow cards today already.

Don't make me giggle with food.

Actually, you can't have three other cards.

Bag on the ward.

Poncho.

It's Celeste, sir, and I visited him this morning.

And as you may or may not know, he's due for release shortly, and he's asked if

you'd go and see him.

You're early.

What are you doing back?

I packed it in, babe.

I can't stand it no more. My job's a joke. Oh, come you.

Still got a few things to do to the house, but as he's up and running, come

visit. Yeah, cool.

It's really nice.

Neighbours are a bit weird.

But, you know, the house itself, well, it's more of a cottage, really. You

like a miner's cottage.

Mum said it's a pokey little terrace, but I'm not a monk.

Oh, I nearly forgot. I downloaded you some tracks.

Thank you.

It's all old people's stuff. You know, Neil Young, Cat Season, Pink Floyd.

That was really thoughtful. See you.

Bye.

Baby, baby, it's a wild world.

I always remember you like a child girl.

Slightly dubious for those lyrics, Tess, if you think about it. Right, I'm

literally picking up my laptop.

If you want to stay in the car, walk home with me.

Your choice.

You got yourself a visitor, Mike?

Mr. Jackson?

Who are you?

We've been authorized to reclaim your car by the official owner, Mrs.

Jan Jackson.

What? If you could remove any property from the vehicle, sir, such as this

banyan.

All right, Pete, take her away.

Captain is scum.

Make you sick, don't they, Mike?

Oh, baby, baby, it's...

So I enter that figure there.

You see? And then, voila!

It gives me the gross profit for the month.

Yeah. Can I go on Facebook now?

Parvati, this isn't a holiday. You are supposed to be learning about the retail

industry. Now, we promised your father... Come on, Uncle.

Lighten up.

You have to admit it's as boring as feck, isn't it?

All of this.

I mean, hand on heart.

Wouldn't you prefer to do something else?

No, he wouldn't. And do you know why?

Because I have a passion for it, Parvati.

In here.

I do not sell shite.

All right, we're off to feed the ducks, aren't we, Avra?

Well, you do what you can, Tan.

But at the end of the day, he's a child from a broken home, and Christ knows

what impact that'll have on him in later life.

I mean, look at my Vivienne.

Me and her father split up when she was ten and she's been in a road accident

ever since.

Hey, hey, Sue, kid.

Auntie Brenda.

Biscuits and after jag. The higher the fat content, the better. I've got my big

business meeting today with Di.

Di Davis or Di Cosh?

Di Davis, man.

Cosh gone to tellery.

Let me introduce my niece to you. This is part of a tea.

I've been teaching her the ways of running a small business.

This is boring as feck, Mrs. Aunty Brenda.

Someone shoot me, please.

Alan!

All right?

Good to see you, my friend.

Back safe from the jaws of death.

Why don't they get up off the floor, please?

Aye, well, I wasn't surprised when I heard, Al. You had a heart attack

to happen, if you ask me. Actually, it wasn't a heart attack, Aunty Brenda.

Just a health scare.

And today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I'm going blubberbusters tonight.

Lena lied to do blubberbusters.

Seven stones she lost.

Really? Yeah.

I mean, she put it all back on now, but it definitely do work.

I know, and I'm not being funny, but it's what you asked for, and that's the

nearest I can get her. But I don't look nothing like her.

Exactly.

Can I make a suggestion?

Face transplant?

Hair up just don't suit everyone.

It's just one of them things.

But if you do this... See?

You've got a lovely face.

And it's the way your hair's framed for better.

Oh, yes.

Clever girl.

Your wife's a reserve, isn't she? She went for the UN.

Everyone, can I have your attention, please?

Turn off your dryers, Mo.

I've just had some fantastic news.

The South Wales Valley's Hairdresser of the Year Awards have announced that we

have been nominated for Salon of the Year.

But, but, but, better than that, our very own Marcus Jensen, my clever

has also been nominated for Hairdresser of the Year.

The awards will take place next week. All staff will be expected to attend.

Yes, even you, Emma.

Thank you very much.

Hold it.

Linda?

Left me a new talk, died Ava.

Look around you, Di.

Ponterberry is crying out for a private bath firm.

I've got a list of potential customers long as my neck.

Since Jimmy Buck went under, he's left a gaping hole, and I intend to fill it.

Orange squash?

Go on, then.

It's a gold mine waiting to be happened, Di.

You can surely see that.

Maybe, but why should I just...

Hand over my vehicle willy -nilly.

Wake up, man.

You've got 320 seaters out there. How long have you been trying to shift them?

The market's a bit slow at the moment.

Codswallop, give me your buses, I'll give you my knowledge.

What I don't know about the coach hire trade simply ain't worth knowing.

You're a difficult woman to turn down, Andy Brenda.

Come on, Di, what do you say?

Between us, you and me, we'll transport this town all over the town.

I'll give it a six -month trial.

Yes!

Brenda's buses.

Here we come.

Sorry?

I can't do prices, Mr Mason.

I can't see the Ponteberry clientele parking out for a conod, even if it is

dirty good.

Very wise, Bobby Jean.

And considering Simpsons is in two mass burials these days, you won't be wanting

to waste money on something as classy as a conod.

I'll take off a dozen when you've got them out. Thanks, Perry.

Actually, I hadn't actually made my mind up, but you've done it for me, so thank

you, Mr Mason. We'll take ten.

I just got a present for you.

Make it twelve.

Or speak up, for pity's sake.

Everyone's worrying about you, Peter. Get your hands off me.

If you feel you've bitten off more than you can chew, you know where I am.

Right, I saved my pocket money. I'm doing beef wellington, followed by a

crumble.

Well, I think you may need to have a little chat. Oh, my God, is there

Did Stella tell you I was smoking? I wasn't, Dad, it wasn't me. The only

I've ever smoked is a kipper.

Listen, the doctor told me I've got to lose weight.

So tonight I'm going to the slimming thing.

Well, I don't have to come, do I?

The thing is, little Alan, you have to lose weight too.

The court have said.

Oh, they'll send me to jail?

What? No.

But they might send you back to your mother.

Don't take my food away from me, Dad.

I do love eating.

You've arrived, then?

Yep, came just after lunch.

You're lovely, aren't you?

Very intelligent, then, and very polite.

Oh, I don't want to be in no trouble, sister.

That's what comes from living in a sanctuary.

Low self -esteem. But he loves his new room, don't he, Glenn?

Taken to it like a duck.

Well, it's very nice to meet you.

Donkey. Donkey.

Of course he's called Donkey.

I'm not walking in there on my own.

Auntie Brenda.

All right?

I'm joining up with you.

Yeah, you've inspired me, you are, Val. I know you're looking at me thinking,

what in Christ's name do Auntie Brenda need to lose weight for? But I'm just

feeling it creeping on and whatchacall.

Talking of which, howdy, partner.

Sorry, Al. Car wouldn't start.

Right. Come on.

Take a seat then, Auntie Brenda.

I will now in a minute.

I'm going to wait for Al, I am.

Big Alan!

I weighed these clothes before want.

They're total six pounds, all told.

Well, the scales don't lie, Al, and nor will I.

We're going on a journey, you and me, and a journey of a thousand miles begins

with the first 900.

That's very deep, sir.

Yeah, deeply stupid.

Step aboard, young man.

Let the journey commence.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

OK.

We're not going to panic.

This is why we're here.

Well, that was a revelation.

Clinically obese.

Can't you let me start?

Is she not morbidly obese?

I've realised things have got so bad.

If you ask me, them scales she was using were on the blink.

The watcher, McCall, was funny on him because there's no way I'm that heavy.

Can I just say, I know how much courage it took for you all to come here

tonight. When Carl got that job in the Middle East, I thought my whole world

ended. But I found a reason to live again.

And it's helping fat people like you lose weight.

Christ knows it ain't easy, but it'll give me a purpose in life.

Keeps me going till Carl to come home again.

And I want to thank you for that.

All of you.

Yeah. I'm going to give it a go.

Clinically obese, my arse.

Just your arse, Ty.

Your stomach and all.

And your legs.

Is this what you're looking for?

You are so grounded, good boy. Till when?

Till 2023.

Mr Ross?

All the other nurses are well, Giles.

Are they now?

Oh, yeah.

It's not every day we get a big celebrity like you in St Catherine's.

Although I did meet Neil Kinnock once.

I'm bigger than Kinnock?

Oh, yeah, of course you are.

Now, then.

Are you wearing these stockings?

Yes. And the suspenders?

Oh, yes.

I got it all going on, Prash.

I'm absolutely gagging for it.

Doggy. Naughty doggy, man. Get down.

Oh,

now, look, I know what happened there.

If you two are going to paw and maul at the drop of a hat, you can get out and

do it on the pavement.

Vivienne, I meant what I said about you moving out.

I've got this new business now, and I can't have you messing things up with

watcher calls. Stop harassing me, ma 'am. I've got to find my feet.

Well, you can find... them sharpish and start paying your way.

And you can do that by working the buses with me. No can do, sorry.

Oh, I'll tell you something and there's no mistaking. You are your father's

daughter, good girl.

As lazy as a log and twice as sick.

Don't talk about my father like that. He was a fucking hero.

I met...

I don't suppose you're looking for no drivers for your buses, are you?

Right, then go and offer Ben's them. You heard they might be looking for

casuals. All right, Clare. Good luck, bud.

Oh, bless them.

Do you want a bit?

No, thank you.

I had my 25 -gram portion of bran this morning with 200 mils of skimmed milk

a melon slice.

How are you feeling?

Absolutely starving.

Enjoyed last night, did you? I wouldn't say enjoy it, but it's a real eye

-opener, you know.

You ought to give her a ghost, though. Yeah.

I know I'm putting on.

I'll tell you something else.

You were right about the, you know... I keep having all these horny dreams.

Last night, I had sex with Jonathan Ross in a hospital bed.

Fair play. How do you like Jonathan Ross? I wouldn't think he was gay, man,

would I?

Jonathan Ross isn't gay.

Yes, he is.

No, he's not.

And I should bloody know.

Could it be any more humiliating? They just took it away in front of my bare

eyes. Calm down. I mean it. You know how much that car means to me. It's the

only decent thing I own.

That and the Gibson 12 -string.

What's going on?

Jesus. Everyone can hear you. Andy, do you know what? Why don't you take your

squash -playing, polo -shirt -wearing, football -supporting, beer -swilling,

paintball -playing, wife -stealing arse back down the corridor and fuck off?

You're going to have to get a grip, Minton.

I call you 12 o 'clock for you, Zoe Stewart.

Yes, yes.

Thank you.

You don't thrill, do you, John?

Please, come and see.

First things first, the next -door neighbour thing.

Luke doesn't know I'm you.

No, and I can assure you that any contact we have regarding Lenny will be

treated with the utmost confidentiality and professionalism. I only come here to

tell you I ain't seeing him.

Never.

He's very keen to put things right, Zoe.

You're wasting your time.

So I've got you a visitor's pass.

Nursing can sometimes involve managing distress, and it's up to you to help

patients and families come through their crises.

Now, Mrs. Wongby, you've agreed to be in a crisis, and I'm going to show you how

to manage your basic patient distress.

Right. Start crying.

Okay. So she's crying.

I've noticed.

I'm over.

I'm on the bed.

I'm putting the arm around and I'm making the following three points with a

clear and calm delivery.

Number one, do not be alarmed. Number two, hush a minute now.

Number two, is there anyone we can call?

Number three, are you personally like them, safely locked away in your bedside

locker? As distress is a perfect pickpocketing opportunity for any

opportunist pickpocketer.

Oh, I've got to take this to school.

Mobile phones are strictly forbidden on the wards.

Mobile phones are strictly forbidden during training.

You leave me no option than to give you a yellow card.

All right, sorry, Mr Palmer. I'll have a word with him tonight.

I know I'm grounded, but

how far does a boundary line stretch?

Why? Glenn's bringing donkey out in a minute.

Can I go see him?

Five minutes.

Yes! And then you can tell me what I meant to say to Mr Palmer who informs me

you've been doing graffiti.

It's called tagging.

Stop nagging. I'm a new rap artist now all of a sudden, you.

What do you think you're doing?

What's wrong with me?

That bin is mine. It's for my rubbish.

Don't be ridiculous.

It's a bin.

And what did it say on the bin?

Number 24.

Therefore, the rubbish that goes in there comes from number 24. You're

23. So technically, you've just committed a burglary.

What, I burgled a bin?

Yes.

Are you serious?

Perfectly.

Excuse me.

Please tell me I didn't just see what I just saw.

What's that about?

Has that donkey been living inside your house?

Aye. You got a problem with that, mate?

Yeah. Of course I got a problem with that. It's a bloody donkey.

Marge and Glenn have always had horses in the house. To be fair, donkey's a

donkey. Not a horse?

Donkey horse. It's illegal.

It's insanitary and inhumane. It's downright insane.

Oh, get over yourself, man.

Jesus, it's... It's like living in some drug -induced production of under -milk

wood.

I ran you a bath.

Oh, thanks, babe.

You all right?

Yeah, just stuff.

I will get a job, you know.

I'm not a total loser.

Oh, God!

What are you like next door?

Come here, Mick. I'll think without blaring.

Well, Jack's out for the count.

He'd sleep through a thrash metal concert, he would.

Zoe.

I saw this mate of Lenny's yesterday.

He'll be coming out soon.

Will he?

You know I'll protect you from him, don't you? And Jack.

How lovely you are.

Don't worry up.

The water's getting cold.

Not picking up, Jan?

Oh, I expect you're out partying, aren't you? With Andy Wankerpandy, seeing as

he's younger than me and has more stamina than me.

Anyway... Oh,

what now?

We have got two more children living at our house.

Only two?

That's very modest for around here. I'd have thought you could get at least

eight in there.

Why are you so unpleasant?

Sorry? Did your mother not give you enough attention as a child? Is that

is? Oh, you're a psychologist.

God, really drew the short straw getting you as a neighbour, didn't I?

Not as short as my straw.

Whatever. Getting you.

Look, let's start again, shall we?

Hi, I'm Stella.

Stella Moray. So?

And you are?

None of your bloody business.

Oh, God, this is hard work.

OK.

Michael. Michael Jackson.

Your name's Michael Jackson?

Oh, yeah.

Hilarious. And I bet you think you're the first person ever in the whole

world to think it's funny. Well, you're not.

Turn your bloody music down!

What? The woman's clearly a donut.

The bloke's a donut.

I'll take you to your behemoth like children.

He is my next -door neighbour, and we seriously don't get on. Stop right

Lighten, my lord!

Over my dead bodies.

For God's sake, give me Master Mansman!

I'll take this one for the team.

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