Original subtitles

We got the hen do, then her last exam, then the wedding, then the baby. It's

planned out.

Who's this Sean fella was helping him?

He's just a decorator fella.

Bobby thinks he's a beat me.

Well, don't I get a coffee?

Sorry? That's what you normally get when you walk someone home, isn't it?

All right, Mum.

It's OK, you haven't escaped. They let him out early.

Yeah.

I haven't finished painting it yet, mind.

No, it's great.

You can have top bunk if you like.

That's OK, mate.

What bunk did you have when you was in prison?

Emma. What?

It's all right, ma 'am.

Top bunk.

I'll go bottom bunk now, isn't it? Be a nice change.

Right, well... That's evening moaning.

Yep.

I can bang on a radiator pipe if you want, with a mug, if that's what you're

used to.

No, you're all right.

Just don't wet the bed, OK?

You're staring again.

It's getting weird now.

I've been home two weeks.

Oh, I'm just chuffed to have you back.

We all are.

I'm going to bastard kill him.

Is that your dad?

Not Ben, him.

You've left the bathroom all minging.

I'm five months pregnant, for God's sake. He's a bloody elf, has it, him and

prison germs. Oh, that's your dramatics. Now go and do it now.

You can't, man. We've got to be at Tanisha's at ten.

Why? Bugger.

Oh, my God, you forgot, didn't you?

They're doing the buffet for the wedding, like. Bombay fricassee.

What's the matter with sausage rolls?

Racist.

What's racist about liking sausage rolls?

Emma, you'll have to go without me. I'm going job hunting with Luke this

morning. Are you?

Oh, well, you've been doing something with him every other day of the week.

should today be any different?

Go with her.

Seriously, now I know where the job centre is, man.

I don't want anyone being horrible to you, that's all.

I promise I'll come home and tell on them if they are.

Look! How goes it, my friend?

Ah, you know.

Any luck on the job front?

Nah, nothing.

I'll take one of these, all right?

Please.

It's on the house.

It's a free paper, Jack.

Sandy, you must start anew.

Don't you know what you must do?

Hold your head high.

Take a deep breath and sigh.

I've never tasted bread like this before. It's gorgeous, isn't it?

Not gorgeous, that chef.

He's edible, I'm telling you.

Now, try this.

Oh, tartan. I'm rabid. It's chicken vindaloo, but with a twist.

Oh, sarcastoc.

Stella, I hope you don't mind, but I've promised Emma that I'll give her some

lessons in homemaking.

Hey, Jan, pass us that water brush. Just in case things don't work out with her

exam. I know you're keen for her to have a career and everything. Yeah, I am.

We've got a deal, haven't we, Em? Yes.

Will she have time to work, though, once she's had the baby?

Plenty of mothers have jobs, but... Well, like I and Em.

Oi!

Thing is, it's a cultural thing with your lot, isn't it? I bet your own

stayed at home. Her mother was an exotic dancer in Blackpool.

No way.

Fine, like a rustic.

What I'm saying is, maybe Emma will make a natural homemaker. Who knows?

Now, see if you prefer this.

It's lamb.

Lamb fat?

See if you can taste the chilli kick.

Oh, that's better.

Thank God I've seen you.

All right, Stella?

I need a favour.

Will you go there?

My God, Beth, you've been on the curry?

What? Yeah, I've been trying some dishes for the wedding, haven't I? Anyway,

what it is, no man enough tongs and tweezers.

Yeah. Hairdresser, she do do your mum?

I said yeah, Cal. Well, she's started doing dogs at the back. Only there's

so much call for it now, she's decided to go mobile.

And she's set me up in a franchise.

Only charge you 60 quid for the kit and tools and what have you?

Honestly, Stella, dog room in the future. Because when times are hard,

always one thing people need, and that's a clean dog.

Right. Well, I haven't got one, have I? To practice on, like.

I got off with a load of hamsters, but I was afraid of drowning them.

And I said she could lend Banjo off of you.

Cos he is technically half mine -like.

Hmm.

Which half, Carl?

So can I pop over tomorrow, then, or what?

Thirty -seven pairs of shorts.

And not a crease on one of them.

Oh, someone's been on the garlic.

All right, so strong still.

Er, thanks.

Sorry.

Showing off.

Every day I recognise what's deceased and what's alive.

But don't repeat what I just said until boulders turn to lead.

Then all the tales will be told whilst you and I are in the cold.

Right. What are you doing, Al? Not even by the crossing, man.

Little bit of Sunday, have you? No Nash House?

No. Celebrity funding.

May the cancer.

Which cancer?

Oh, there's all sorts.

Zeta -Jones, Shirley Bassey.

Debbie McGee.

Serious? Debbie McGee, oh, my God!

Yeah. Well, I might as well get me some VIP passes.

Three drinks, beat the stars.

Sorry, I was thinking of it, too. We're already behind.

Got three burn -ins today and all.

Yeah, well, if you fancy, it's £2 .35 each.

Come and coach us to do me a deal.

Go on, then, put us down for four.

Right, well, I'll put to be paid by your name, shall I?

You have to settle me before the day, mind!

Come on, like step front.

Looking for a change of career, are you, Pat?

Kickers. The one and only.

I see they let you out, then.

How you keep then?

Got time for a bow?

Plenty of time, no cash.

Well, looks like it's my shout, then.

Hey, Vanda, give us two pints.

Yeah, I dreamt about you last night, sweetheart.

And let's just say you wasn't disappointed.

You got bog roll on your chain, huh?

Have you been?

Mental busy.

Good to have Luke back.

Yeah. Look at them white bags, Sean.

That one doesn't white bag on still.

There you go. You see, you can die happy now.

Oh, sarcastic as well as violent, is there?

Get off. This one's a pussycat.

Now, if you want to see a real killer in action still, I'll get Tim Wayne's

tongue up for you.

No, you're all right, Big Ray.

I've got to get on.

Oh, yeah, me too.

Do you want a lift?

Um, no, I've got the trike. I've got the van.

All right, then. Ta.

You've been smoking or something?

No, why?

Just the rate you're playing through the mints.

She'd be on a gel fries issue.

No benefits. It's the tip of the iceberg, see?

He just buys my beer and keeps Lily on there in baby gap. How old is she?

I'm not exactly sure. I was off my tits when she was born, like.

Nice. Now, what it is, I got a little tax -free gig on the side, like, doing a

bit of transportation with some Colombian friends of mine.

Colombian?

Well, they're from Chagallan, they are, but the stuff is as good as anything

from my mother country.

Right. I'll catch you in, if you like.

20 quid a pop.

Just drop off, pick up, Bob's your uncle, cash in a bank.

Are you off your box? I just got back from the big house.

All right, all right.

Keep your cock on.

You'll upset the kid.

I'm off.

Have a think about what I said. No, you're all right.

Best offer someone like you's going to get.

Well, thanks for the lift.

No worries.

Listen, Stella, this is Liberty Fun Day.

I thought you and the kids might like to come along.

Oh, lovely.

Yeah? Well, I've got VIP tickets, you know.

Free drinks, meet the stars.

Aye, aye.

The hairy biker returns, only not on a bike. He's in a van.

All right, mate.

Settling in?

Yeah, settling in lovely.

How'd it go?

Absolutely shit.

He's looking for a job. It's never so hard for him. Yeah.

I'd better, um... I'll drop those tickets off for you.

Yeah. Yeah, if you like.

Thanks.

Jagji, your lunch.

So, rule number one, make your husband a nice big lunchbox to see him through

the day.

And he won't come looking for food in the middle of diagnosis murder.

Sweet. So sweet.

I ain't slaving over a microwave for no man. And that is why Jasminder is going

to end up single and alone.

I ain't a leather.

Jasminder.

I, uh, gone to the library.

What are you doing here?

Your mam's learning me about how to sweat and that, isn't she?

Hi.

After having beautified your car, nine. K -9.

K -9.

I can formally offer you one of our clean -in facilitations.

These include the big bath, which is just a basic wash and blow dry.

Are you expecting a letter?

No. Or we have the rough stuff, which includes... Oh, you haven't started all

that pen pal nonsense again, have you, with Elka and Gadan?

No. Or we have the rough stuff, which includes... Is your better -off sticking

to girls your own age?

Can I carry on, then, or what?

Yeah, all right, Dean, but how long are you going to be here?

I'm going to get down to the back factory, see if they've got any driving

for my boy.

Ma 'am?

Will you tell Luke to stop stealing my underarm?

Oh, don't wake him, love. He's tired.

One of our most popular packages is called The Dog's Dinner, which includes

colour rinse of your choice.

You're not dying banjo. Oh, come on, Menzel. No way.

You've been sleeping for 14 hours.

You're probably depressed.

Because you're unemployed and you've got a criminal record.

Cheers, Professor.

Do you think if you'd known your dad when you were younger, you'd have turned

out a bit different?

Mum, I'm off rugby training.

OK. See you lunchtime.

Luke?

What?

I'm escaping from Nadine, I am.

You're right.

Yeah, stop asking me all the time.

Sorry. So, Emma's off learning to be a Stepford wife and Ben's doing rugby.

You got any plans for today, love?

Oh, yeah.

Round of golf and a game of tennis.

What do you think I'm going to do, ma 'am? Same as what I did yesterday and

day before and the day before that.

I tell you what, Luke, you want to think about grooming dogs.

No, I don't. You could do a lot worse. Nicely link them.

Do you want me to have a word of men I like?

Here you go.

We deserve this.

Now,

Emma, I have a confession to make. What?

I like bleach.

There, I've said it.

I know it's bad for the environment, but once you've done a U -bend with it, you

never go back.

What's a U -bend?

So much to learn.

Wait, I have a little surprise for you.

What are you wearing? Cute, isn't it?

It's exactly the same as your man's, this one.

Em, I don't like you being like this.

It's weird.

Being like what?

All this cleaning stuff with me mum.

But I'm enjoying it.

Man, are you joking me?

A housewife? You?

What's wrong with being a housewife?

You are going to be a doctor and they make you all the money.

But maybe I don't want to marry someone who just stays at home all day and

doesn't do nothing.

It's freaky.

Now, this is my own invention.

I call it the Tanisha tool belt.

With its little beauty.

No matter where I'm in the house, I'm always packing multi -purpose power gel.

I've got to go, though.

Emma?

Luke, you twat!

It's Keckers, you even bigger twat. All right, all right, keep your cot on.

What are you doing here?

Oh, it's nice.

I'm just wondering if you thought any more about my little proposition.

Proposition?

Exactly. Because I've got loads of these little puppies lined up.

All you've got to do is drop off, get the cash and keep 20 back for yourself.

Easy. Until I get caught.

Look, Matt, I'm trying to do you a favour, you like?

Hi, Luke.

Hi. Hey, Mum, not in?

No.

Here are these, will you, mate?

For this fun day thing tomorrow.

You can go in for that, eh?

No, you're all right.

You've got bog roll on your trainer.

What?

Here you, mate.

You old girl shagging scouser, Sean, is she?

What did you say? All right, all right, keep the cock on.

He's not even a scouser.

Right, where do I drop all this stuff off?

Borneo Terrace, this is.

Number six.

You can miss it.

They've got norms.

Hot dogs grooming, sir. Hot dogs grooming. 10 % off your third groom.

my dog, Liz. Hot dogs grooming. And you get 10 % off first one light. Oh, I tell

you what, I could do a lovely makeover on this one, couldn't I, Carl?

What? Are you? Not ten years off, are you? She's only cocking nine.

Well, take the leaflet and have a think, isn't it?

All right, Mola. What can I do you, Postel? Er, tin loaf and doughnut,

Jam, toffee, custard or apple.

Oh, give me a mix.

And while you're at it, don't suppose you've got any delivery jobs going at

back of you?

365.

I thought it was on your linen.

Slowing up, is there? Oh, no, it's for my boy Luke.

He's a hard worker, learns faster.

No disrespect, Estelle.

You know they take people as they come.

But once a slammer dog, always a slammer dog.

You taking the mess?

A couple of stupid pranks, that's all it was.

Joyriding in stolen cars, more like.

Yeah, well, he's not like that no more, for your information.

So you think?

You are.

Look at all.

My Karen knows Tone, who's dating Vanda up the Lamb and Flag.

She said she saw you and Luke drinking with that Kekker.

Kekker's the crack, you've heard?

Why Luke don't hang around with scum like that?

That's not what I heard, Sel.

And if you and Luke's keeping that kind of company, he'll be back behind bars

before you can say Britain's got talent.

Forgot your doughnuts?

Hey, I'll have them if they're going cocking back in, like.

Cakers.

Yeah, it's tableau, it is.

No, with a T.

Yeah, what it is, like, I need some... ..some shit,

like...

All right?

Tableau?

All right.

You look so good, innit?

I might be.

Told you I'd ever get some quality shit, did he?

Well, you don't look a type, to be honest, darling.

No, I don't want you a shit.

Not your drugs.

They're the same thing.

Whatever.

I just want you to leave him alone, all right?

You don't need idiots like you messing up his life.

It's hard enough for him as it is. He's just out of prison, nothing going for

him. That's why I'm helping him out, isn't it? Putting a bit of work his way.

Yeah, well, you don't need no help from me, all right?

Why don't you just take your stinking drugs and stick them up your own nose?

Or someone else's.

Just leave him alone, anyway.

Oh, I'm cacking myself.

Luke's mammy's telling me off.

And what'll you do if I don't?

She won't do anything, mate.

But I will.

Disappear.

Oh, my God.

That was like a Superman film.

Where did you spring from?

I was watching a game or something, lads.

She's dead, I love.

Do you want to tell me what's going on?

Oh, Harry, I can't. If I wait any longer, my hair will be dry.

And then it's squeezing me in as it is. It's always round on a Saturday.

All right, all right. Give me a chance, man.

I don't understand why you can't have the whole lot done there.

Because then I'll have to pay for a dry and a wash. This way I don't have to pay

for a wash. Everyone does it. Pay me £4 on it.

Ridiculous. Yeah, well, how ridiculous you come, Christmas, when I've got money

saved for a luxury ampere.

Papa!

Hello, love.

Hey, what's up now?

And I wanted to get him to meet me so I could warn him off, I thought.

You know, face to face.

What, you think he's going to take a slap on the wrist?

He's not 12.

And what's with the name Tablo?

It's meant to be my druggie name.

I was going to go with Tamar, but then Pablo, and it came out just Tablo.

I'll do people work, mind you, in that kekker.

Dead eyes, like a dolphin.

You mean shark?

Mm -mm.

I mean dolphin.

Everyone thinks the sharks are the baddies, and it's not fair because the

dolphins are just as vicious, if not worse.

Are they?

We've all been taken in by the whole flipper thing, but I tell you something,

wouldn't trust a dolphin as far as I could throw him, and I'm talking

now because I'm worried and I'm frightened that my son is turning into a

dealer.

Hey, come on.

I'm a threat to your game.

Kim Wang Chong will be wondering where you brought her.

Did you get those tickets, by the way?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, we're all coming.

Are you on the bat?

I don't know what's wrong with me, Nana.

I just annoy everyone.

Mum, Nanny.

I'm doing my own head in.

I just feel all over the place.

Tan, get on to Tongs and Tweezers.

Tell Verna I've got a family crisis.

She'll understand. She has one every week.

I tell you what's wrong, my love.

You're coping with a lot of change.

And change isn't easy.

You're only a baby and you're having a baby.

Your hormones must be all over the shop.

I was 20 -odd. Haven't your uncle died? I still went cuckoo.

Wanted to run away with Ongar the milkman and weave my own rugs.

What? I'm still here, aren't I?

I haven't seen Rhian's dog of you.

I was halfway through giving it a blue rinse and it done a bunk.

Check it out.

Huh? You've got an iPhone in the garage.

Respect for the dead, lads.

Ooh, we've got a sitter, have we?

Aye.

No bending him whatsoever.

Bless. So what do you think?

It's daddy in an old wheelchair.

Wrong. This is our ticket to the fast lane.

There's going to be a massive queue for the Funday Sunday because of all the

celebs and that. But I rang Nash House and they give priority.

Too disabled.

And the garage opening.

Oh, yeah, and the carriage.

So no hanging around for it. Straight to the front for an olive in a gin with

Shirley Bassey.

Result? I tell you what, we've found loads of old crap in that garage.

Salad's been at the dumb work.

Old fetid dentures. Two Leo Sayer albums.

Who are you?

Rebecca, no?

Yeah. Birmingham Marina.

78. Yeah. Go on.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I love that film.

And you've got one of these for free.

Well,

that's right.

The V was called Colon and she was called Faye. And he wanted to take her

planet. And she wanted to go, but she didn't want to go.

Don't make him a dad anymore, do they? Thank God.

Come with me of your own free will or I will have to take you by force.

I'll remember.

I think I might hang on to these for a bit.

Show Di, you know.

Oh, hello again.

It's Luke about.

Me? A handyman?

In a big way, you don't need a carpenter round the gym. Just someone to look

after the place.

I barely get any turning in these days because he's always asking me to unblock

the drains, move the weights, sort the gloves out.

He's desperate.

Thanks. Anyway, he wants you to go round for a chat.

Five o 'clock. An interview like?

Yeah.

Well? Come on, mate.

Got nothing to lose, have you?

Maybe.

Like, I'll have a think, okay?

Oh, well done.

Oh, don't fuss, ma 'am. I said I'll have a think.

Sorry.

No!

No!

Please have mercy.

I am Corlon.

I am... I've witnessed you fade, and now I must have you as mine.

Do not resist me, or I will numb you with my probe.

Oh,

Katniss, I want a word, like...

Pookie -Lookie.

I've changed my mind. I'm not... I've just been telling the boys about your

girl.

What? Didn't she tell you?

Paid me a little visit.

Huffing and puffing she was. Getting all worked up. Tried it to me.

Had to be held back.

If she were a new mammy, I would have swung for her like.

What's she say?

He hasn't shown.

Oh, it's only quarter past.

He'll be here now.

Hey, look what I got him.

Nylon bristles and overalls from the pound shop.

Didn't get day glow ones.

Don't want him looking like he's in a disco, do we?

Well, he ain't going to look like nothing unless he turns up.

Mum!

Told you.

Why do you have to interfere in my business all the time?

Hey, hang on. What's this?

You can stay out of it and all.

I've just been careful. You made me look like a right twat.

Luke, I just don't want you hanging around with him, all right? You'll be

in that prison before you know it. Mum, I'm 24.

I can look after myself. I don't need you or him sticking your nose in my

business. Got it? Well, surely you can understand why I would... Got it!

I take it you don't want the job, then?

It didn't take the golden boy long to fall off his paddock, though, did it?

He didn't fall off.

He jumped.

It's not really his fault, though, is it?

He's coping with a lot of change, and change ain't easy.

Off to see a drug dealer friend, do you?

No. Don't lie to me, Luke. I'm not lying. I'm not going to see Keppers, all

right? You going to the Celebrity Fun Day, then?

We're going to meet Catherine Zeta -Jones.

Maybe.

Got a few things to do first.

Lou. Oh, what now?

Give me a catch.

I know you're a good boy.

I know you are.

See you later.

So long.

Who is Catherine Zeta -Jones?

I don't see why he can't just walk onto it.

He's not actually disabled, is he?

And what if Shirley Barty turns up in a Rolls Royce at exactly the same time

Daddy's waltzing off to bed?

Then where will we be?

Oh, yeah, and the rest.

Now, don't have kittens.

If I've got a cat, then it's been caught first.

Oh, my

God.

Did she sign a book?

Yeah.

And she'd done a photo.

Ah.

What exactly did you get in the VIP bit, then? Three drinks, meet the stars.

You seeing Peniel down there?

I don't know. We're still not speaking.

Does VIP stand for very important person?

Yes, love.

Am I very important, then?

You asked me.

Off for the bus, is it?

Yeah.

I suppose she'll be there, will she? Lord in it. Who now?

We can't stand the sight of her.

Otherwise, we'd be joining you, like.

Hey, I'm not going to jump in your sheet.

Oh, sorry, Alan, love.

It's still on the way. It's just I got a little surprise for her.

Oh, that's lovely.

Hello.

Right.

All right, darling?

I'll go by the window, Ken. All right, Daddy?

My God, Carl.

My damn dog.

Don't worry, babe. She probably haven't even noticed.

Anyway, you can't be expected to get it right first time.

Hiya.

Oh, you made it there?

Yeah.

Yeah. I've come to surprise you.

Free IP tickets.

Free drinks.

Beat the stars.

Ah, that's really kind of you, but, um, my friend's already got us, um... A

friend? Yeah.

All right.

While you come over with us and come with coaches, you could go on your

Oh, you know, it's good for the environment, isn't it?

I was all going on the bus.

Well, he's got a Harley.

Anyway, shall we, um...

You look nice, love.

So, I think Luke's really sorry about what happened.

Did he apologise, then? Well, not exactly, no.

But I know he is.

Right. Oh, even better.

Mum, only a half -hour journey.

I'll have one, Meg, if you've got one going. Go on, pass it down.

And he says he's not going to see that kekkers no more, and I believe him. So

there we are.

Stella, I don't want to tell you this. All right, go on.

Right, I'm not waiting any longer.

Barry, off we go.

Now, who's going to start us off on the singing?

Who I care.

OMG, it's Cheggers.

Now just play it cool, all right? Fame does funny things to people.

He's not even that famous.

I'm Keith Bobby Gifting. Can I just say it's a pleasure to meet you and I

thought it was a crime when they cancelled Swap Shop.

Oh, thanks very much.

Surprised you were even born.

So, you all having a good time? Bye!

Right, well, that'll be getting on.

Yes, bye, Keith.

I'm going on over there.

And what was that debacle?

Do you think you're on daily since you did?

I met Keith Jagwin.

I've got to tell Di.

So glad you came.

I spotted him on the street.

From Bitteris, by any chance.

And I insisted he come along with us. He is family, after all.

That's nice.

Where do you turn his share? Between you and me, she's not a fan of charitable

events. She thinks they're indulgent. Now, where is Miss Zeta -Jones -Douglas?

Er, probably in the VIP.

Come on.

Anyone for a hot dog while I'm here?

Aye, go on. Where may?

Sorry. Don't be.

I was being a mentalist.

You were wearing matching aprons.

Mention that again and the wedding's off.

Who's coming for a bounce?

On the bouncy castle?

Oh, my God, I'll just watch.

I don't want this baby coming early.

Luke? Are you all right?

Night! Oh, my God, what's wrong now?

I just met Keith Checkman, and he touched my elbow and everything.

Well, very private, is it? You could say that again.

How come you've got VIP passes, then?

I've got friends in high places.

I think that's disgusting.

We're meant to be living in a democracy, for God's sake.

Well, who's all the stars, Al? I only see Keith Checkman and Debbie McGee.

You saw Debbie McGee?

It's sadder than the flyer they come with, isn't it?

Is it the Jones?

Bassey? Actually, it says they've been invited.

See? In a small print.

Pass me one of them Bucks fuzz, love.

Oh, I do love a Bucks fuzz, me. Oh, me too.

Oh, my God.

Are you?

Yes, I am. How are you doing?

I am such a fan of your cocking work.

Hi, Andrew.

Can I just introduce myself?

Nadine Burburn. Hi, hi. And this is my life partner, Karl Morris.

Nice one, Buck. Oh, thank you. Not bad, is it? Try to go to the gym most days.

Does help.

Who's he then?

Heya, kid.

How did your interview go at Big Ray's gym?

I didn't do it in the end, Gump. I didn't fancy it.

Well, that is a shame.

Would have been a nice little job for you, that.

Never mind.

He's got loads of people banging on his door offering work, hasn't he?

Yeah, leave it now, all right?

It's ungrateful love. Sean was trying to do you a favour.

What for? He's not my dad. Not old enough to be for a start.

Come on, Luke, man. Shut up, Carl.

Don't wind him up, Carl. He's a criminal. He might stab you.

Shut up, Nadine.

Can we all just calm down and carry on enjoying the day? I didn't want the poxy

job, all right?

No, you'd rather just run pill for keckers, wouldn't you? What are you on

I saw you, Luke, early on outside his house.

Look, you might fool your mum, but you don't fool me.

Oh, for God's sake!

You don't want to do that, mate. Yeah, what do I want to do then, mate? Hey,

come on, tell me. Hey, hey, come on now, lads.

We're in the VIP.

Have some respect.

What a fantastic turnout here today and all raising money

for such a worthy cause.

So without further ado, it gives me great pleasure to declare this charity

family fun day well and...

checkers, but I gave him back the pills. Ma 'am, I didn't go through with it.

And I went to the chicken manor. I got a job up there.

It's crap paid. I've got no prospects.

But it's not dodgy.

Right, happy now?

Chicken manor, chicken shmanor.

No member of my family works in a place like that. I will give you a proper job.

In my post office!

I think you should check with Mum first.

And 15 pence more an hour.

Serious? Yeah, serious.

Result.

Oh, what the hell.

20 pence more an hour.

And while we're at it, no one has paid me yet for this bloody trip.

57 quid I forked out the camo coaches.

Every single one of you, apart from Paula, owes me £2 .35.

And no one is going nowhere till I get my money.

So come on.

Stay up.

Please.

Thanks for not hitting me too hard, bud. I wish I could say the same.

Right, I'll see you then. Yeah. Hey, Luke.

See you, mate.

Oh, my God, Luke. You hit the box, that. That's quality, that is. It's not. It's

really thick.

I'd better get going as well.

Oh, wait a minute.

What? Why have you always got to get going? Where exactly are you getting

to? Are you all right? How many hints do you need to work out that I like you?

Well, I like you. You're very nice.

And I want to go out with you.

Yeah.

I think I get that.

I just don't get why you want to go out with me. Oh, fishing now. No, I'm not.

You are

gorgeous and sexy and lovely and you're nearer my son's age than mine. And

I'm... Well, look at me. I'm going to be a grandmother in four months. I'm...

In God's name, would you want to go out with me?

Oh, my God, you're not doing it for a bet, are you?

Stella, I want to go out with you because you're gorgeous and sexy and

lovely. I'm wearing a stripy rugby shirt. I love being with you.

You think dolphins are vicious and your druggy name's Tablo, and I bet you're

amazing in bed.

I can go on. Please don't, because I am dying for you.

Where are you taking me?

Like Italian?

Of course.

Giovanni's. Next week.

For definite.

For definite.

I'll call you when I've booked it.

What with?

Fraud. P .S. I'm not messing around.

I really have gone.

Is your boyfriend got three missed calls off him? Shall I answer it? No.

Shall I be taking a hint?

Well, we've been all over.

Follow that herd.

It's a new bowl of spaghetti. When I couldn't have actual sex with him, I

wouldn't know where to begin.

Hope you are ready to get the shit kicked out of you, Williams.

Nice.

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