Original subtitles

Let's get sickening.

You'll need to survive

the biggest drag disaster of all time.

[gasps] The lighting from season one?

- The Rupocalypse. - Oh, that sounds scary, too.

Yeah. oh, that's scary.

[screams]

Ooh, [bleep], it's falling apart.

(Milan) Jiggly's costume is a hot mess.

(Rupaul) Jiggly Caliente...

Lashauwn Beyond...

The Princess, Sharon Needles.

- This is my kind of ghoul. - Bloody fabulous

Con-drag-ulations, You are the winner of this challenge.

Thank you.

I'm just in disbelief that I'm here.

Bitch, you're here.

Yeah, honey, you better snap out of it.

- Play to win. - Snap out of it!

Jiggly Caliente, shantay, you stay.

Thank you.

Alisa Summers, sashay away.

(Rupaul) And tonight... you'll be transforming

yourselves into wrestling's trashiest fighters.

Be a lady.

(Rupaul) The dolls throw down...

Get out. Y'all fake-ass hoes.

Get out of here.

[audience oohing]

(Rupaul) And take flight.

Chicago, bitch.

[screaming]

(Rupaul) With extra-special guest judges

NBA stars Rick Fox and John Salley.

Child, we got some fine mens up in here tonight.

(Rupaul) Will receive a lifetime supply of NYX cosmetics,

a one-of-a-kind trip courtesy of ALandCHUCK.travel,

headline Logo's Drag Race tour, featuring Absolut vodka:

cocktails perfected, and a cash prize of $100,000.

And may the best woman win.

# RuPaul Drag Race #

It's RuPaul's Drag Race season four Ru-Veal.

Who knew that drag queens wrestling would be

so much fun?

I did. [laughs]

# RuPaul Drag Race #

# May the best woman

# Best woman win

[upbeat music]

#

- A gorgeous day. - Good morning, cluckers.

(Dida) We walk in the work room this morning,

and we see Alisa's message, and it's kind of sad.

I mean, it was official.

Week by week, we're all going to be going home.

- Officially. (Kenya) "Keep it cute, ladies!

"Shady sisters 4-ever!

Love, Alisa."

- Look what you've done. - That's what you've done, baby.

It was either her or me, and I was not going home.

Let's take a vote. Can we switch Jiggly for Alisa?

Whoo!

Girl, shady queens. Shady queens!

(Jiggly) Being in the bottom two shook me.

I feel like there's a target on the back of my head.

And all these bitches are trying to assassinate me.

They're calling you the silent killer, bitch, because

everybody thought you were gonna win the challenge.

I mean, I did think I was gonna win,

but I understand why I didn't win.

- Well, after she had said-- - I'm too quiet.

Yeah, you're too quiet.

(Lashauwn) I was quiet because I was trying to focus.

My strategy isn't gonna change, because I know that I prepared

a package to beat these girls.

So, I mean, I'm fine.

- Speak up, Lashauwn. - Can everybody hear me?

Fly away.

- [siren wails] (RuPaul) Ooh, girl.

She done already done had herses.

- [cheers] - Here we go!

Hello, dolls.

all: Hi.

I've come to pump you up

and I don't mean your lips.

So get ready to beat your mug,

pummel the runway, and fight for the spotlight.

It's time for some necessary roughness,

but, remember, just anything but the face.

I'll get the money, mister. Just don't hurt my face, please.

[applause]

- Hello, hello, hello. - RuPaul!

- Hi. - [cheers and applause]

Now, ladies, as you know,

padding is the foundation of drag.

A queen's girlish figure depends on it.

For today's mini challenge,

I want you to make an ass of yourself.

Literally. Oh, pit crew.

You better ass somebody.

You have 30 minutes to put all this junk

in your trunk.

I'm dividing you into three groups.

And the one queen from each group

with the juiciest ass will win.

Ready, set, style.

[exclamations and shouting]

Give me those foams!

Don't kick over my packing peanuts.

(Chad) I make fierce pads, but this ain't how I usually

make my pads, y'all.

(Dida) 30 minutes is not enough.

You need at least a good hour to even start making pads.

When making your ass, always draw the shape of Africa.

That's it.

Or, as Latrice would say, the homeland.

[Latrice giggles] I'm Polynesian, bitch.

Get it straight, honey.

I thought we were doing an athletic challenge,

so I'm in a jock. Sorry about it.

Okay, lady-kins, time's up.

All right. Apple bottoms.

Now Jiggly is serving cellulite realness.

- [laughter] - Yeah, that's how realness is.

Now walk that ass.

Bottoms up.

Shake it, don't break it.

Phi Phi O'Hara, now that's what I call a power bottom.

Seems like your pants are coming down, Madame.

[screams, laughs]

Madame.

Next up, the ghetto booties.

Make it pop. Now walk.

Hips don't lie, but that ass do.

Girl, can I get some fries with that shake?

- [laughter] - Damn.

I had a proper ghetto booty,

and I was the only one wearing lipstick.

Next up, the badonkadonks.

A badonkadonk booty, it's like a whole bunch of

donkadonkadonkadonkadadadada...

Yeah, what she said.

Ass everywhere, ass everywhere. Ass everywhere.

Ooh, two scoops.

Ladies, all y'all is sassy assassins.

But three of you really killed it.

The winners of this mini challenge are...

Okay, who's ass is the hit of the class?

- Miss Phi Phi O'Hara... - Whoo.

- Miss Willam... - [applause]

- Miss Chad Michaels. - Hey.

Con-drag-ulations.

If I were you, I'd hold on tight

to my padded ass,

because for this week's main challenge,

you'll be transforming yourselves

into wrestling's trashiest fighters--

the luscious ladies of the WTF.

- Yes! - Whoo-hoo.

I am a big bitch. Who is gonna outwrestle me?

Nobody.

You know, she may have a point.

Oh, my God. I am not athletic at all.

(RuPaul) This week, you'll need to flex your charisma, uniqueness,

nerve, and talent to become over-the-top

wrestling characters.

You will compete in teams.

Phi Phi O'Hara, Willam, Chad Michaels,

since you won the mini challenge,

you are team captains.

You get to pick your queens,

starting with Phi Phi.

I'd have to go with Latrice.

Yes.

Dida.

- I will take Milan. - Yeah.

- Come on down, baby. - Kenya.

[growls]

Princess.

- Miss Needles. - I am a knockout.

- [laughter] - Uh, ow.

(Phi Phi) I didn't want Jiggly or Madame LaQueer because

they're always complaining that their feet hurt

or they don't want to do active stuff.

Lashauwn.

- [growls] - There we go.

All right, Willam, it's between Jiggly

and Madame LaQueer.

I'm just praying, "Please pick me, pick me, pick me,

pick me, pick me."

Jiggly. [grunts]

Yes! Wah!

[laughter and applause]

All right, so that means that Chad gets Madame LaQueer.

It feels kind of weird being, like, the last picked.

You know, the weird boy, but I'm used to it, though.

Each team needs to decide which two will play

the heroines, or the faces, and which two will play

the villains, or the heels.

In a moment, you'll meet three pros who will coach you

in the art of wrestling.

Gentlemen, start your engines.

And may the best woman win!

Mama, you got a dream team here.

I know. That's why I picked it.

There's something very important.

I had a previous injury in my right ankle.

I hurt my right ankle doing a show.

I didn't saw the step, and my ankle goes click,

and suddenly I couldn't walk.

So, are you gonna be okay?

- I mean, like, with your ankle? - Don't worry about my ankle.

(Chad) I am gonna worry about it, because it's important.

If your ankle's hurting and you can't do something,

you need to let me know-- - Safety first, people.

- Safety first. (RuPaul) Coming up...

Put me down!

Jeeze--aah! Wait!

Ugh. Ouch!

[RuPaul laughs]

This maybe the best episode ever!

- I'm so happy with this team. - I know. I'm excited.

(Willam) This challenge includes a lot of steps.

We have to come up with a back story, looks, costumes,

moves, everything.

I'm really good with falls and, like, being, like, stunted.

I do stairs. I can do anything.

Willam is in charge.

(Willam) I usually play people who get beat up,

and I got my ass kicked on every major network.

And we just make sure that we--

attitude, attitude, attitude.

Wrestling isn't my thing. I'm not a violent person.

So I'm a little concerned.

We are gonna ace this, you guys.

We gon' kick their ass.

(Phi Phi) So our challenge is to become wrestlers.

We're the first team to go up and practice.

I see three humungous dudes just going at each other.

- Oh, my God. - Oh-hoo-hoo, yeah.

Bring on the men!

I'm "Hollywood's Own" Joey Ryan.

Yo soy Hector "El Chido" Canales.

I'm Mr. K.O.S. "King of Submission" Ryan Taylor.

And I'm the queen of all media: Oprah Winfrey

A little bit of the choreography.

Go ahead and throw her onto Ryan.

Oh.

You're gonna catch her and fall.

This bitch heavy.

And then you fall on your back.

- Oh, my God. - Fall, bitch.

Thank you for flying Air Kenya.

Put the mask on your face before you put it

on your child's face.

(Phi Phi) Lashauwn's not gonna actually get the concept

of what she has to do here.

Come on, girl. Come on.

- [speaks Spanish] - [whimpers]

[growls]

(Lashauwn) Everyone in my group's personality is so loud...

[yells]

And I'm not really like that.

I'm really quiet and, you know, soft.

Oh.

[laughter]

(Madame) Let's go, Latrice.

(Joey) So the bad guys make their entrance.

They cannot care less about the audience, right?

- Make us hate you. - Be yourself.

I got this. This is cake.

[bleep] y'all. I don't give a [bleep].

New York, mother[bleep]. Brooklyn!

Jiggly was very aggressive.

[bleep] y'all. I've got this [bleep].

And I was like, girl, take it down a notch.

New York, baby.

I'm not from New York.

Oh, well...

And you were good, too.

(Willam) Princess is giving closed-captioning,

while she's in stereo.

(Joey) We're gonna demonstrate some holds for you.

We were thinking of a body slam.

Do any of you guys have a problem with that?

I'm concerned that something could happen with my ankle.

and making our team lose.

I have a lot to be nervous about.

All right, come on, Madame.

My damn face is sick of looking at you.

[grunting]

Oh. Oh!

- Get her up. - [screams]

- Put me down. - Take your time. Slow.

Jeez Louise.

- Ugh. - Sorry.

- Ouch. - You okay?

I'm nervous about Madame LaQueer.

She's not as physical as the rest of us.

She really has to push, push, and push through it.

Push it real good.

- Hello, hello, hello. all: Hi.

Well, team Phi Phi O'Hara...

Yes.

Which team is the faces?

It would be me and Lashauwn.

So, of course, these two are the heels.

What is your story?

They gave us the wrong treatment,

- and we grew beards instead... - I see.

And we're a little bitter about that.

Are you actually gonna be wearing beards?

Yes.

You know, that concerns me a little bit,

because the luscious ladies of the WTF need to be beautiful.

I think our story will get across, and it's not that they--

But you're not the one who's gonna be looking hideous,

are you, darling?

People watch wrestling because they want to be excited,

they want to be turned on. They want beauty.

Now, Lashauwn, can you give me a little taste

of what your good guy says?

"Oh, I'm gonna kick your ass."

In wrestling, the good guys are just

as loud and obnoxious as the bad guys.

Is it fair to say that you're still working on it,

you haven't, sort of... - We are still working on it.

- Figured it out yet? - I mean, yeah, we are.

I'm gonna let you get back to it.

- All right. - Bye, Ru.

Team Willam, what's going on?

Who on your team are the faces?

[laughs]

Now what are your costumes gonna be like?

Was that something that you made or you already had?

(Princess) We just embellished on top of it.

(RuPaul) Oh, I see.

And I'm embellishing on top of mine as well.

Jiggly, you took some heat last week for your costume.

Yeah.

(RuPaul) You know, we are looking for

the luscious ladies of the WTF.

Oh, I'll be luscious.

I'm not trying to be in that bottom two again.

(RuPaul) Gather around, dolls.

Now, tomorrow at the WTF main event,

we'll be joined by our extra-special guest judges...

NBA champions Rick Fox and John Salley.

Ballars.

I think I'll tuck extra-tight for Rick Fox and John Salley.

Now, remember, safety first,

but, whatever you do, don't [bleep] it up.

all: Bye, Ru.

Whoo.

(RuPaul) Coming up...

Bring on the glamazons!

[crowd oohs]

You can't take it.

[laughs]

This is one of my favorite Drag Race challenges ever!

[cheering]

Ladies and gentlemen,

are you ready to experience

- a female phenomenon? - [cheering]

Bring on the glamazons!

This show is crazy, girl.

Oh, my God, can you believe those Bitter Betties

came in here to ask us for help?

And I even let them use, like,

my really good hair products.

- That product? - Yeah.

That's the hair-growing tonic.

- [laughs] - Stop!

[speaks native language]

You--look what you did to her hair.

Are you upset because you can't handle all this fishiness?

Your plastic hair and your plastic tits

and your plastic ass.

We'll handle you. We'll get in the ring.

- Bring it. Bring it on. - Come on, girls. Come on.

[cheers]

(RuPaul) Mess with these nasty girls

and you'll end up with a bad taste in your mouth.

Give it up for Latrice "The Beast"

and "Killer" Kenya,

the Bitter Betties.

- Ooh. - [booing]

Go.

(RuPaul) Give it up for L.A.'s finest,

Lashauwn "The Blonde"

and Phi Phi "Fierce."

(Phi Phi) The crowd was chanting

and all the signs that had our names everywhere.

It felt so good.

I was ready to beat those bitches down.

- [bell clinks] - You tell 'em, girl.

You're so pretty.

- Ooh. - Whoa!

[booing]

[cheers and applause]

Get up!

[speaks Spanish]

Um, honey, I don't speak Spanish.

[booing]

I want to teach you Spanish right now.

Puta!

[exclamations]

[screaming]

Oh, hell, no.

[shouts]

Now I'm gonna show you

how to really beat a mug, bitch.

[screaming]

[booing]

Let me go! Let me go!

[screams]

- Holy, Jesus! - Whoa!

[screaming]

[exclamations]

Queen down!

[shrieking]

- [bell rings] - [booing]

(RuPaul) Bitter, bitter pill to swallow.

The Bitter Betties win.

[booing]

Those other teams better watch out

because me and my girls, we kicked ass.

[booing]

Touch this skin, honey. They can't take it.

Mm-mm. They're overgrown...

both: Orangutans.

Speaking of orangutans.

What are you doing in our dressing room?

We know it's your dressing room, as tacky as it is,

like y'all two bitches.

Oh, no, she better don't.

We don't want to go there.

We saw you two in Coach Carter's office.

Oh, so that's how we got kicked out of school?

'Cause of y'all bitches?

- Get out. - Y'all fake-ass hoes.

Get out of here.

[cheers and applause]

(RuPaul) Tuck and cover...

(Jiggly) Shut up!

Get the [bleep] out of here.

(RuPaul) For "Pucker Up" Princess

and "J-Train" Jiggly,

the Thunder Booties.

Get on the wrong side of these

sexy scissor sisters,

and they'll cut you--

Willamina "Hater" and Dida "Diddles".

They're DWF.

Come on, bitch.

[bell clinks]

Get 'em, girl. You plus-sized jujube.

Oh, please.

[exclamations]

Come on, bitch.

Now this is why we watch Drag Race.

I'm giving it all, balls to the wall,

badass, crazy, wrestler bitch.

No!

Whoop her ass.

[cheers]

Get her!

[yells]

The Princess, she's not going as crazy as I am.

So if I get in the bottom two because of this bitch,

it ain't gonna be cute.

[shouting]

- What? - That's not fair.

(Lashauwn) They're tag-teaming her. That's not fair!

That's not fair!

Television don't get no better than this.

I'm just saying.

Sumo smash!

[exclamations]

And thank you. Now what?

- [bell rings] - Bye.

(RuPaul) The winner is Thunder Booties.

You go home. Bye. We won.

Team Willam put on a goddamn show.

[cheers and applause]

Oh, Milan "LaModel",

I have to be honest with you.

I woke up with an itch down there,

an itch in my pubic hair.

I've got snatch-scratch fever, too.

The struggle is real.

Look who it is. It's the Bitch Kickers.

What's up there, Knockouts?

How's it hanging, scratch 'n' sniff?

[speaks nonsense]

They must have gotten our special delivery we sent in

when we banged their boyfriends.

[chatters nonsense]

- Boink, boink. - Oh, my God.

- Eww. - Those Bitch Kickers.

Oh, those cheap, terrible girls.

[cheers and applause]

Serving face with a side of whoop-ass.

Give it up for Sharon "Shocker"

and Milan "LaModel"--

the Knockouts.

Don't hate these girls because they're beautiful.

[booing]

Shut your pie hole, you slut.

Hate them because they're bitches.

You want some of this?

We got plenty for you, too.

Chadarella "Chainsaw" Michaels...

My girls just make me so proud.

- The Bitch Kickers. - [cries]

[bell clinks]

You skinny little blonde bimbo.

You can run, but you can't hide.

All right, well, I'm fast as a butterfly--

[exclamations]

No!

- [booing] - [coughs]

(Chad) I am a little bit worried about Madame LaQueer's ankle.

I mean, you're the captain of the ship,

you're going down with the ship.

All right, Kirstie Alley before Dancing with the Stars.

[exclamations]

[shouts indistinctly]

This is not in my contract!

If my ankle hurted, I forgot about everything.

I was Madame "LaCrush" in that moment.

[cheers and applause]

(RuPaul) Coming up...

We didn't see any of the rebel that I know you are.

It's not memorable enough for me.

- It was fake. - Fake? My girl? Never!

[laughs]

Stop staring at your phone and pay attention!

Yay.

Miss Cheesecake.

It's elimination day, and everyone's really anxious

right now to find out how they did

in the wrestling challenge.

(Dida) I think we have a really good shot at winning.

I hope.

I'm just worried.

(Willam) What are you worried about? You did great.

You were so funny.

Were you unpleased with anything

when you left the ring yesterday?

With me, no.

(Jiggly) I am kind of iffy about Princess.

It is a competition and they don't like one thing,

the whole team goes down-- it's a team challenge.

(Princess) That energy you're giving off is bringing everybody else down.

Girl, I cannot be bothered right now.

Queen Winnona cannot be bothered dot com, darling.

I am a little bit nervous.

You might feel some sort of kind of way,

and then you could be dead wrong.

Mm-hmm.

Thinking you a sickening bitch and talented bitch,

and they be like, "wah-wah-wah."

I'm a little nervous to see

what the judges think about me in the ring.

I did my best, but you never know

what they're gonna say.

You sew for all the girls back at home?

Like, the girls. The girls the girls.

Just girls like you. By me sewing so much,

I don't really get a chance to even be in drag myself.

- Uh-huh. - So it's like I missed

- my drag childhood. - Ha ha.

So that's why the competition is perfect for me,

'cause I'm just filling in for what I missed out on.

That's sickening, 'cause you definitely

about to make up for some lost time.

- Ooh. - Hey, that's what you get.

The ultimate drag boot camp of life.

Madame, what does your family think about you doing drag?

I'm not close to my family at all.

My family, for me, are my friends.

They're the best friends in the whole world.

Baby, don't. It's okay, mami.

We're selfish and vain creatures of beauty,

and isn't it bizarre how we make

the best friends in the world?

Everybody say "love."

[RuPaul laughs]

Bam!

#Covergirl #

# Put the bass in your walk

# Head to toe

# Let your whole body talk

# And what?

(RuPaul) Hey, guys. - Hey, baby.

Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Michelle Visage, my tag-team sister.

I got a Full Nelson for you right here, Mama.

[chuckles] Billy B, welcome home.

Thanks, Ru.

Are you wrestling with something?

Not since I was trying to get my wallet back

from Michelle in the back.

[chuckles]

Hey, Rick Fox, what did you think of my girls?

I was impressed. Think there was a lot of fight.

Good. And John Salley.

Hello, Ru. BK in the house.

[laughter] I'm so glad you're here.

This week, our queens were challenged to hit the mats

as the luscious ladies of the WTF.

Tonight, I've asked them all to come

decked out in their best girly-girl attire.

Gentlemen, start your engines,

and may the best woman win!

# Welcome to jungle

First up, Kenya Michaels. Gorgeous.

You know, Lil' Kim only wishes.

(Michelle) It's a pink Monday.

(Kenya) I love the runway.

I feel amazing because I love to walk.

(Billy) Now that is a living doll.

(RuPaul) Mary-Kate Minaj.

Lashauwn Beyond.

She melts in your mouth, not in your hand.

(Michelle) Got a penny? She's got a ball.

[RuPaul laughs]

(Lashauwn) I'm serving bubble gum yum-yum,

just having fun being flirty, pretty, going girly beyond.

Come through!

(Michelle) Where is her slot anyway?

(RuPaul) Sharon Needles. (Michelle) Ooh.

The lost Arquette sister.

(RuPaul) Oh, wow, she's doing femme.

She got an injection of beauty.

(Sharon) Playing girly-ish, bouncy, and sexy is just something

really foreign to me.

Just want to show the judges that I could bring beauty

to the stage in this competition.

(RuPaul) Mwah.

For your consideration,

Jiggly Caliente.

(Billy) Kimora Lee Simmons has put on some weight.

(RuPaul) Jiggle it, girl.

(Jiggly) I'm serving banjee girl meets sweet 16.

Very new York.

(RuPaul) It's Jiggly 's quinceañera.

London, Paris, Milan.

I see London, I see France,

I see Milan 's underpants.

(Milan) I am feeling like black Barbie meets a valley girl.

But, because John Salley is there,

- I'd rather be a Salley girl. - [giggles]

(Michelle) Once she gets pumping, it's hard to make the body stop.

(RuPaul) Madame LaQueer. Represent Puerto Rico.

[Michelle speaks Spanish]

She's working the asymmetrical hairdo.

(Billy) Or a hair show in Mississippi.

(Madame) I feel great. I feel like I'm floating.

I think is the most beautiful I've looked

throughout all the competitions.

(RuPaul) Where there's smoke, there's a pussy on fire.

- [laughter] - This is why I love this show.

(RuPaul) Dida Ritz.

(Michelle) I thought it was P. Diddy's mom.

- [Rick laughs] (RuPaul) Janice Combs.

(Dida) I'm giving fish, I'm giving face,

I'm giving you vogue.

I know my runway is fierce.

(RuPaul) Look at those legs. My good--

and they go all the way up.

(Michelle) They do? Are you sure?

- Yeah. - They're not wooden?

(RuPaul) Chad Michaels. Lady Chatterley.

Oh, my goodness, the world according to Paris.

(Billy) Paris Hilton, where are they now?

(Chad) I'm serving up girly-girl realness fish on a stick.

I kind of look just like a yummy little cupcake.

Mmm. I'm hungry.

(RuPaul) She wants her old body back.

The Princess.

She had a little time for a quick blowout

before she came out.

(Michelle) It's a windstorm backstage, I'm thinking.

(RuPaul) Yes, yes.

(Princess) The look I'm going for is

very rock star meets little girl.

I am so pumped for my look today.

(Michelle) Rock on.

(RuPaul) It's like there's something about The Princess.

[Michelle laughs]

Up next, Phi Phi O'Hara.

(Billy) Telemundo.

(RuPaul) Telenovela realness.

(Phi Phi) I was showing a little bit of skin

and giving them dragged-out Miami housewife.

(RuPaul) Ooh, her legs are like peanut butter--easy to spread.

Latrice Royale.

Ooh, Crown Royal.

I'll have one on the rocks.

(Latrice) I am feeling good and looking gorgeous, darling.

Pretty in pink. I was very pleased.

(RuPaul) Star Jones called, she wants her old body back.

(Michelle) She can't have it. It's otherwise preoccupied.

(RuPaul) Allegedly.

[Rick laughter]

(RuPaul) Next up, Willam.

(Michelle) Hey. (RuPaul) Wow.

Look at those shoes.

(Willam) My look for today is rich bitch mistress.

I'm serving girly-girl on a platter

to go, sauce on the side.

(RuPaul) Look how her outfit accentuates her sugar walk.

(Billy) Toddlers and Tiaras, where are they now?

(RuPaul) I think she's Tanya Tucker.

Coming up...

In the ring, you were freaking hil-ar-ious!

- Baby, baby! - [laughs]

I'm a fan from the hair to the dress.

I disagree. I hate your hair.

Oh, he went there.

[laughs]

[dramatic music]

Let's get judgey.

Mm-kay?

Yesterday, you changed the face

of professional wrestling forever.

I smell a spin-off.

But one group in particular

really smacked down the competition.

The winning WTF team is...

Team Chad Michaels.

- Whoo! - Jesus.

[laughter]

Thank you, Ru.

Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

But two divas stole the show.

Madame LaQueer, Chad Michaels.

- The Bitch Kickers. (Michelle) Good job, ladies.

You are both the winners of this week's challenge.

You'll receive a selection of wigs from Risque Wigs.

(Madame) Oh, my God, I feel so great.

I certainly actually proved them wrong

about having picking me last.

However, neither of you will receive immunity next week.

Sorry about it.

You may leave the stage.

Ladies, it's time for the judges' critiques.

First up, Willam.

- Hey, mama. - Hi.

Did everything turn out the way you had planned?

I think our moves kicked ass.

Oh, I thought the competition was weak in the ring.

The faces she was giving us just didn't seem believable.

It was fake.

Wait a minute, wrestling is not fake.

No, that wrestling was fake.

(RuPaul) Thank you, Willam.

Next up, Dida Ritz.

Now why'd you choose this as your girly look?

I'm really channeling Carrie Bradshaw,

so I thought downtown New York, very chic.

In the ring, you had, you know,

the girl that sort of walked around the ring thing perfect,

better than you had the wrestling down.

(RuPaul) Thank you, Dida.

The Princess.

I'm a fan from the hair to the dress.

I think I bought that dress for my daughter.

I disagree. I hate your hair.

I think it looks like a bad hair show.

As far as the performance goes,

we didn't see any of the rebel that I know you are.

I'm a very Zen person.

Just know that that was me really trying.

Try harder.

All right, let's go to Jiggly Caliente.

May I call you Jiggly?

Of course you can, Ru.

How'd you feel on the runway?

I felt so cute.

The lollipop in my mouth, door knockers in my ears.

The lollipop was more interesting for me

than what you're doing style-wise.

And tell me about in the ring.

It was very energetic and over the top.

Jiggly, what was the hardest part of this challenge?

The thing is, Princess is very Zen, she's very quiet.

We needed to be, like, crazy, badass bitches.

(Michelle) It's hard when you're in a team,

and you're trying to make up for both of you.

Thank you, Jiggly. Next up, Phi Phi O'Hara.

Hi.

You were reading older than you have to.

You could be younger and more modern.

I'm watching you, Phi Phi. I love you.

I think you're gorgeous, and in the ring,

you were freakin' hi-lar-i-ous.

- Thank you. - Thank you, Phi Phi.

- Lashauwn Beyond. - Hi, Ru.

- How are your balls? - My balls are great.

On the runway, the gumball machine told me

exactly what those balls were doing on your chest.

(Michelle) Better than on her chin.

Ha!

I couldn't disagree more.

Your hair and your makeup,

you look like a backup singer

for Luther Vandross in 1988.

Rick Fox, what'd you think? The ring?

It's not memorable enough for me.

[booing]

I would have liked a little more story

and color to the character.

- Next up, Kenya Michaels. - Hola.

I thought it was Nicki Minaj. I'm not joking you.

Except she doesn't have the ass of Nicki or the money.

What about as a wrestler? As "Killer" Kenya?

It was like it was Biggie Smalls and Lil' Kim all over again.

- Baby, baby. - [laughs]

You look like a star, you look modern,

you look fashionable,

and I think you're the one to beat.

Ooh, she turned it out.

- Latrice Royale. - Hello, Ru.

Shag-quille O'Neal Latrice.

[laughs]

You set the tone for the whole afternoon.

Oh!

- You had me at splat. - [laughs]

(RuPaul) Thank you, Latrice.

Well, ladies, I think we've heard enough.

While you girls untuck

in the Interior Illusions Lounge,

the judges and I will deliberate.

You may leave the stage.

All right, just between us brothers and brother-lovers...

- Thank you. - Let's start with Willam.

I think Willam is extremely fierce and extremely talented

and very freakin' funny.

But I also think there's a borderline of smarminess.

I think there might be an attitude in there

that can get in the way.

She seemed like a team captain that didn't lead.

I think she did a good job of leading.

I don't feel that The Princess did a good job of following.

All right, let's talk about The Princess.

Her performance was really flat.

I kind of thought there was a rock star in there.

She's not charismatic enough to be a rock star.

(RuPaul) Dida Ritz. - She's pretty.

It's just the wigs are not styled, they're not done.

You know, she was going for Sex and the City,

and it was more like Sex in the Alley.

Oh, okay.

Well, I'm not gonna turn that down either.

- [laughs] - [clucks like chicken]

Jiggly Caliente.

In the ring, she uses everything she has.

I thought that was an outfit

until I realized that was really her belly.

[laughs]

Phi Phi O'Hara.

I don't know what's under all that makeup,

but she doesn't paint herself pretty.

I know she's heavy-handed on the makeup, but hey...

who isn't?

That's right, Mama.

Lashauwn Beyond. Now, it was remarked that

Lashauwn's personality was kind of shy.

She'll get out of that shyness when she realizes

- it doesn't get her anywhere. (Billy) She's a mess.

And her personality is like a...

Like a brick.

All right, Kenya Michaels.

Little Puerto Rican sweetheart.

(Billy) She's half the size of any of them

with double or triple everything else.

There was nothing wrong.

(Michelle) Her performance was flawless as well.

I thought she did a great job as "Killer" Kenya.

(RuPaul) Latrice Royale.

She owned that role in the ring.

It was hard for anyone else to do better than that.

I was very happy with her, and I do really like her

and her personality, so she's gonna be fun to watch.

All right, silence.

Bring back my girls.

More will be Ru-Vealed Don't go away.

[laughs]

The time has come.

(RuPaul) Based on your presentation

in the main ring and on the main stage,

I've made some decisions.

Latrice Royale,

Kenya Michaels,

Phi Phi O'Hara,

you ladies jumped on this wrestling challenge

and came out on top.

- You are all safe. - Thank you.

You may leave the stage.

Okay, see, now it's gon' get tense.

Jiggly Caliente, we want to know

is there more to you than just a queen from the 'hood?

You are safe.

Thank you. Thank you.

You may join the other girls.

The Princess.

You were channeling P!nk,

but your performance was beige.

Well, if that's how you really feel.

I'm sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.

I'm shocked. My outfit was on it today,

whether Billy B liked my hair or not.

And I worked my ass off yesterday in the ring.

There's no reason why I should have been in the bottom two.

Willam...

you're safe.

- Bye. - Oh--okay.

Lashauwn Beyond,

as a wrestler, you were more mumble than rumble.

Dida Ritz, your Sex and the City couture

does not deserve a sequel.

I mean, who comes up with this stuff?

Dida Ritz...

You're safe.

Thank you.

Lashauwn Beyond, I'm sorry, my dear,

but you are up for elimination.

My whole body started pumping.

I'm nervous because I want to stay in the competition

and I know this dictates if I will or not.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance

to impress me and save yourself

from elimination.

The time has come to lip-sync...

for your life.

I'm pretty amazing and I'm ready to show it.

Bring it on.

Good luck and don't [bleep] it up.

I said--I said, don't [bleep] it up.

# Beep, beep

Okay, here's a tip, you better keep them heels on

during the lip-sync.

Ain't no pussyfootin' around, girl.

#Sad girls #

# Sad girls

# Talking 'bout bad girls, yeah #

(Lashauwn) I want to show Ru that I can give more personality.

It's not over yet. I'm not ready to go.

# Now you and me

# We're both the same #

# Both the same

# But you call yourself

# By a different names

# Different name

# Now your mama won't like it #

# When she finds out, finds out #

(Princess) I'm telling myself, soak up this moment right now.

Live in it.

Balls to the wall do it.

# Toot, toot

# Hey, beep, beep

(Willam) To do the whole song with no shoes

in closed-toed pantyhose like a web-footed duck?

Lashauwn's drag mother's gonna read him for not even

starting the song in shoes.

# So you want to spend some time #

# Yeah, beep, beep

# Talkin' 'bout bad girls #

# Beep, beep

# Toot, toot

# Haa

# Beep, beep

[cheers and applause]

Ladies...

I've made my decision.

The Princess...

Shantay, you stay.

You may join the other girls.

Lashauwn...

you are a young queen.

May this experience lift you to new heights

above and beyond.

Now sashay away.

Thank you.

It's bittersweet, but I'm happy for me to be so young

and I've only been doing it for such a short amount of time.

Some of these girls being 40 and 50

and, so, it was sickening.

Okay, Lashauwn gave us the classic line:

This is not RuPaul's Best Friend's Race,

and I gotta tell ya, the line lives on forever!

Can I get amen up in here?

- all: Amen! - Amen! Byee!

Let the music play!

[RuPaul's The Beginning plays]

#

# This is the beginning

# The beginning

# This is the beginning

# Of the rest of your life