Original subtitles

What's up, Justice?

Hey,

everybody snap in the lens.

Easy.

Dog hands.

That's what they see.

That's what they see.

That's what they see.

Yes. Baby, hey.

New ink.

Oh, no. New ink, neck it, the whole deal. Yum.

Hey.

Right.

Oh, baby.

What?

No.

What?

You put it in the water?

You can put it in the water, just can't say okay.

locus all right i'll leave it out there they're gonna actually i just thought

i'd check in with you here that's a negative i look

forward to watching this back i'm spanking my monkey come on show me your

We are so shy.

We are so shy.

Baby. Mommy.

Another special moment captured on film.

Justice is coming.

Yes. Justice is just tripping out right now.

Another one over there.

You know what? I fucking hate where we live, baby.

Sucks.

Bro, what's up?

Documenting. Documentary.

Yeah. On the whole.

As Dave proceeds to fucking chop massive holes in the pad.

Oh, my God. What the hell is going on here?

Jesus.

Oh, well.

Shut up.

She's all happy.

What?

No way, dude.

What was that doing in there?

Oh, freaking hell is breaking loose here.

The dumpster's about to tip over. It sank in the mud.

Getting ready to drag it out.

Unbelievable.

And today there's some guys up on the hill there.

Right back there with a tripod and a video camera.

And, uh... Had to threaten their lives. Getting the fuck out of here. So,

whatever.

How often do you do this?

Yeah, you do this like one through a couple of weeks.

You move the tub every over and let your throat and tub out. And you do this

with your toes.

Wait, don't do it so fast.

Do it again.

Very nice.

Hands up.

Here we go, space kids.

Sit.

Sit.

Down.

Down. Where is it? Down. Good point.

You figure all the days and years that our Highland Preachers have spent on

certain days.

One of the days is our first Preachers.

This is it.

April 29th.

This is how we get together and call our own Preachers.

But marriage is our last Preachers.

And it's a personal commitment, as well as the moral and physical union between

the parties.

Now, I'm not going to take it as a side note, but that's an important

relationship that can exist between the two human beings.

Instructions of real love and trust, and to give a single raw energy, a spirit

of love. But it's a moral commitment that advises and serves daily attention,

since no earthly kindness exceeds that of any other spirit.

Yes!

Yes! Amen!

Yes!

Yes!

Understand? When you take the time you need to be the way of heaven, to love

to cherish and to continue to flow upon heaven, you are a student of salvation.

Yes!

You are promised to me now,

as my wife,

from this day forward,

to love and to cherish, to have and to hold,

for Richard,

for poor, for better or worse, in sickness and in health,

in sadness and joy,

to prepare and share together, as long as we both

show love.

Amen.

Repeat these promises after me.

For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in sickness and in health,

in sadness and in joy,

to care and share together, to care and share together, as long as we both shall

love. Amen.

Let me explain to you what you have just come to say.

See what we just did was say some words.

And words were easy to say, especially when I put them in your mouth.

But let's go back here into the book, into the Word, and see what transpired,

and why we call this the second narrative.

In the Gospel of John, it says, When you speak your words from your heart, that

means from your spirit, you confess your words.

Now, Paul said it once, In God we live, and when we speak,

faith comes from hearing, and hearing.

God designed it for

us to do it this way.

And if we do it this way, then that's the chance for it to work.

See, when you two stood there and held each other's hand, and

you looked into each other's eyes through the window of your soul,

and you spoke these promises from your heart,

It only means God is in the house.

But as you stood there, and you were holding that person's hand, and you were

telling that person, saying you promised it to me, because you believe in that

person, because you trust that person, and because you have

faith in that person, that only means God

is in the house.

You know this.

Well, if that is true, what just transpired in these last few moments is

your spirit and your spirit

will now become one spirit in the hours that go out during

the day of the sun.

Yes!

Why do I say that so many?

Because Jesus said, take upon a one, and you shall be one.

To understand the meaning of this, you have to understand what we are and who

are. We are a spirit.

We are a soul, and we have a physical body.

Okay, now, in our spirit, he has given you nine fruits.

One of the fruits is love.

That is the catalyst of this relationship.

Now, see the seed of that fruit that is planted into this

spirit system.

Now, in order for it to grow, you've got to feed it.

It's like these plants around here.

You don't feed it, no way they're going to die.

Well, how do you feed it?

With kindness, thoughtfulness, and forgiveness.

And I'm on your feet.

And instead of your feet, you're moving your life.

And that's your incarnation.

Amen.

You are one.

You are partners in the world.

See, that is what you need to know.

Therefore, what you have is not a company.

You're a family.

This is how God designed this system, where man and

woman become partners with one another.

Now, true love is none of its own.

nothing from itself.

Love does not possess, nor would it be possessed.

For love makes a patient unto life.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself, to wake at dawn with a weaned

heart and give thanks for another day's money, to rest at noon and meditate the

day, and then to sleep with a friend and love in the heart.

But that comes from his Lord God.

I have yet to present to you the word.

The shield of faith.

Now, see, you are now in God's covenant.

The devil just lost out.

But he's going to try to win you back.

But that says that you too are individuals.

You're not a slave to him, or you're a slave to her.

But you're alive.

Let each other be the focal point of this relationship.

Accept each other as you are, not what you wish to do.

Do unto him as you would wish that he would do unto you.

Do unto her as you would wish that she would do unto you.

That is the biggest part.

You've heard it many times.

See, marriage is about the trust.

You've got to trust.

This is you.

And if you ever get tempted by the devil, oh!

I wouldn't want to do that to myself.

And if I suppose so,

it would be just inevitable.

Just a nice little luma that grows stronger on his way to

life.

Is there a talking to show signs of this life?

Let these rings for he who loves and

she who gives love.

Let their love together in witness to God in

his name.

Amen. Amen.

Amen.

Let's place this ring on her finger and her left hand.

Realizing that in this brain, it's been tattooed for life.

And would you repeat these words with me?

Pamela, with this brain,

I need love to show you the signs of my life

and my fidelity in the name of Jesus.

Pamela, take this from me.

Well, as you both have received each other as two wives,

you made your promises.

to each other and to one as the authority given to me by the state of

and other states i do not pronounce you why yes

no you suck face and what god has joined together to god

do not knock man

understand better

For God the Father, for God the Son, and for God the Holy Ghost,

bless, preserve, and keep you.

May our Lord's mercy be with his fingers upon you and bless you with spiritual

generosity and grace that the life that you may live now and the world to come

will have life.

And I ask in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.

Amen.

Yes! Yes!

Oh, very... I love this.

You know,

there's always landscapes to think about.

Good morning.

Nice.

Get naked or something.

Do something.

This is how I married.

Okay, phew.

That's better.

This is what Tony does most of the time.

Alexis,

baby. What, you're not on your computer?

No.

This is what Tony does.

Melanie got phoned.

Melanie got phoned.

How big was it Melanie?

How big? Just give us an actual size.

He would like this.

Whoa.

What's up?

Here we are in the dark. It's totally unsafe.

What are you doing, dude?

We could all be totally electrocuted.

Oh, well.

On.

Scary husband.

I'm going to be a night party.

I don't know. Just tell me to look.

No. It's your birthday.

Happy birthday.

I said you weren't going to. It's your birthday. Happy birthday. It's okay.

I entertained you last night.

No.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear you, Radness.

Happy birthday to you.

Yay.

Just wave.

Just wave goodbye and I'll shut it off.

Okay. Watching it back.

You're not.

You're just being dumb. A whole fucking hard copy guy right now. Let's talk.

Oh, yeah, exactly.

No, we're not doing that. Baby, stop it. Stop being a zombie camera man.

I'm going to erase it all.

She's going to get violent.

No, you guys, I have an ovarian.

Hi,

could I get the black suburban truck, please? Thank you.

Bye.

That is what this is.

We got the two coming down the dock here.

I don't think she has any idea what's going on.

Found me that big grin on his face.

And she has no idea.

What's she gonna do?

Here we go.

A little surprise.

Ron, right? How are you doing? Mark. Mark, yes.

Pamela. Hey, Pamela. How are you doing?

Can you vote?

What?

I have no idea.

What are you doing?

What?

What? That's supposed to spoil me.

That was my job.

Oh, yeah.

Fuck.

He's a madman.

He's a madman.

He's a madman.

My first birthday, Tommy.

Where's the goddamn card?

Where's the goddamn card? Fuck.

Where's the present? Where's the fucking card?

Where's the card?

Before we pull out.

What, baby?

The what?

Blindfolded. From the wrist.

I went out 30 times in a circle.

Yeah. Walking down here, I almost fell out.

Oh, my God.

Hey, baby. Happy birthday.

Ow!

Baby, you're beautiful. Okay, open, open, open.

Oh, you're so beautiful.

There's lots of fun stuff in there, baby.

Thank you.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

Baby.

Where are we?

Where are we? That's a big -ass guy.

Hello?

Hello?

Where are we? There's a diffusion here.

And I lost my dick.

Fuck, that's disgusting.

Hey, baby. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

Small jacuzzi on the fucking small yacht.

Oh.

You want to show your mom and dad Catalina?

oh my god my camera's going in the fucking water great great we're in

hell baby

master suite this is where we just

rocked it hard

Guest rooms, the leopard room.

Black and leopard.

Yeah.

Hi, baby.

Hey, weenie.

Don't. There you go.

Just another piggy present from my husband.

The swing.

Yes.

The piano.

30 feet and we fell at rope 40 feet.

Yes. I'm not good at all that stuff. I just carry it around. Amazing. Thank

baby. I love you.

I love you.

Push the red button.

Poor Tommy.

What? Poor Tommy after my birthday.

Gone's out. I'm fucking wrecked.

Just had one more item and it's 441.

Love you.

Love you.

Love you.

I want to go down and take the

house because it looks amazing.

It's magic hour.

Oh my God, there's a magic dog.

Did you know that we're growing a little tomato?

What? Did you know that we're growing a little tomato? Where?

Sasha, Justice!

What? Wait.

Sasha, Justice!

Oh my God!

Baby! It's too bright. I can't... Tomatoes where?

Tomatoes right there.

No way. Uh -oh, sausage.

No way. You made those tomatoes?

Yeah. Justice!

Justice! Our terraces are almost done.

Ooh, yeah.

There.

That's our house.

That's funny.

It's magic hour at the Lee residence.

Hey, Star.

Hey, Sasha.

Baby, where's Justice?

I don't know. Justice is here. Come on.

Justice. Come on. Justice.

Guard dog.

Come on.

Baby, let's get him to go on the wall.

I know.

Oh, my goodness.

It's the three kids.

Yeah.

Look at that. Baby, this is our house. Look. Huh?

This is our house. I know. It's fucking going to be rad.

When are you going to get me pregos?

Huh? When are you going to get me pregos?

I don't know.

I'm trying.

Trying? Mm -hmm.

Come on.

What? Come on.

Flip it out. Oh, my God.

Look at the lens. What? Flip it out.

Come on, baby.

Go, baby.

Uh -oh.

You can't see nothing. Oh, God.

Sasha.

We've got everyone's nose on camera.

It's gross.

Oh, you're so pretty.

Hey, pretty.

You just sit in there.

We're ready for anything. We're leaving.

We're fucking so out of here.

We have both.

What's the gig with Mickey D's? It's going to be fucking hell over there. We

should find an easier one.

Already?

Know what I mean, cookster?

Okay, how much do you love me?

More than anything in the world.

We're going camping.

Fucking right.

Yes!

Fucking great.

Already two dents.

One there and one there.

Wonderful.

Pull back and reveal the mess.

I get this for the rest of my life.

Oh, I guess I'm not going to show our kids these days. What am I doing?

Fuck, I'm so fucking horny.

We have to pull over. We can't stand any longer.

What's up, lover?

Here comes a boat.

I was in there naked.

Fuck,

I love you so much.

Gorgeous.

Fuck, you rip.

Here you go, baby.

Don't hurt yourself.

Make a man.

Who is it?

Go, baby, go!

Yes! Woo!

Fuck. How is it, lover?

Oh, my God.

Isn't it warm?

Is it warm?

Look it. Oh, and the speedboat just happens to be, like, sitting back there.

Yeah, I know. That's horrible. Oh, it's fucking insane.

I love you, Tommy.

I love you.

She's naked.

Naked. Baby, I'm rubbing off on you.

It's the gymnastics.

No,

baby. I'm going to go right back. I think this is a big swim step.

Okay.

I did it.

I love being naked.

Look at my beautiful husband.

I love you.

Can you get up?

Here, baby, here. Here, here, look.

No, I got it. We know we have this now.

We have found the swimsuit.

Oh, yeah.

Woo, baby.

Yes. Fuck, I love you.

Make it happen.

Where are we?

Where are we?

You look so fucking gorgeous.

Yes, bro.

Fuck, you look amazing.

I love you.

Fuck, you look gorgeous.

Fuck. I wish I could pull back more. Fuck.

Oh, baby. Who's driving?

Nobody?

I don't know.

Right here. Whoa.

Shit. Here, baby. Hold on. Hold on.

and he almost hit a rock.

Fuck, look at my beautiful husband.

You're the best fucking husband on the planet.

You know that?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you are.

You're mine.

This is mine.

Just for medical and medicinal purposes.

Does anyone ever need to know?

You know like when you thumbprint or fingerprint a little kid?

You guys still keep it?

This is my commie print. So if you ever go missing, this is commie.

Make it.

And he has a huge fucking wiener.

And big balls.

Oh, baby.

Yes, I hate that.

Baby, I hate that.

No, I won't record it. Goodbye.

Spread your legs for me.

Please.

Spread your legs for me.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

We're going to fucking crash. You know that?

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God.

We are going to crash. Fuck.

Oh, my God. We're heading for fucking rocks.

Oh my god.

Where are you?

I hear fish jumping fucking everywhere.

I know.

I'm going to try and get some on here.

It's amazing.

Hey, lover.

Hey, beautiful.

We're going to trip out in this cove over here.

Yeah. Oh, this cove is amazing.

There's a lot of grass there.

Is there fish over there?

I bet there's a lot.

Let's go back to that spot.

This cove goes right into the very last part of the cove. I bet there's more in

the middle.

Beautiful. That's where we live.

Poor Jack.

Hey, Mama.

Craig, how's it going?

My boobies hurt.

And... My boobies hurt.

And there's some other symptoms, but I don't want to ruin this tape, so I won't

talk about it.

What was that?

Oh, nothing.

Oh, shit. What did you say?

Preggos. I'm getting fucking nailed every three or four times a day.

I got you, Preggos. I know.

Baby, it's a huge fucking mission. Jump out of the water over there.

I'm talking fucking dick.

Baby, I've got you, Preggos, because you are fucking so far inside me.

It's beyond hurting.

That'll be good when we show our parents the tape.

We'll edit that part out.

We'll be able to watch the tape at my parents' house in the guest bedroom.

In the guest bedroom, yeah.

Uh, yeah.

Baby.

But your parents might be proud that they have a very healthy, well -endowed

son.

Baby. He's not listening to me. He's fishing mode.

All right, then.

What, you got a fish? I got a fucking... Yes!

Yes!

Oh, he's a little guy, though.

Look at him. A striper.

Yes! Fuck.

Baby. Look at me.

What do we do?

Don't lick him, baby.

Put him back in.

I mean... No, he's a big one. You can fry him up with eggs.

That's our gun -fishing... That's our breakfast.

Easy, buddy.

Oh. Oh. Oh, I feel so bad. I feel so bad.

Baby. I think you're supposed to throw... That little... Oh, maybe

that big.

Are they that big around here?

There's his mom.

Freaking. You know what?

I think he's too small.

Oh, baby, really?

Fuck you, little son of a bitch.

He got you, huh? Fucking bit me.

It's all right.

I'm going to put you back in. Actually, yeah, baby, he's too small.

He is, wasn't he?

Oh, he's dead already, baby. No, he's fucking not.

Oh, poor little guy.

Shit.

Shit.

Oh, my God.

Do that again.

I love you!

We're surrounded.

Ready?

Hey, you should play drums in New York, can you imagine?

I know.

I mean, no.

Hear that?

Yeah.

Obviously, we're beyond the fishing point.

We're playing drums now.

I love you, Pamela!

insane baby that was wild wicked huh oh you caught a fish

but we ran out of ciggies so important things come first no

we already caught a fish but it's too freaking small

get the big one and whack

his head off and eat him that's nice

Crunch, crunch.

You can't find your way, you just have to... What?

Follow the arrow.

Um, it could have been... We can say,

we've been pretty convincing this trip.

And you keep walking around like that, bumping into people.

Come on, baby. Sit down, baby, don't hurt yourself.

Oh my god.

Oh, God.

Yes. Oh, my God.

Oh,

my

God. Oh, baby.

I got it.

Look, you're on camera. You're filming. No, I know. I know. I'm filming.

Oh.

You're like, you're filming.

Oh, my God. You're filming.

Did you erase that?

No, I didn't erase it. Baby, I'm going to show you something right now.

God, I like that.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God, baby.

Oh, baby, fuck. Fuck, you feel amazing.

Oh, I love you.

Oh, my God.

I love you. I love you.

Oh, baby. I'm going to come.

Come with me.

Oh, fuck.

Yes. Oh, God.

It's me.

It's me.

It's ringing.

Okay, answer it. Answer it.

I'm picking this up by hand now.

that we're safe, that we're having fun.

your mom calls it a ring in here okay i love you gorgeous i think you did it

fucking robo

What did you just tell me?

From now on, not to make rules, but we have to handle... What is the first rule

of a marriage?

Well, it's a safety rule.

Okay, what's the safety rule, Camp Counselor?

Plant your corn early this year.

Don't stand up in a canoe.

And save your money, it'll be worth something someday.

And put a...

fucking dish under the candle so we don't die in a raging fire one night.

Did you film the rock?

Oh, no, not yet.

Look what... Can you see?

Look what my baby found today.

Yeah, look. Let's show it in the camera.

See the heart?

There's a heart in this rock with two silver pieces.

Out of fucking four billion rocks over there, she spots this one out of all of

them with this dark...

Almost a gray or purple heart or something in there.

Show it again.

James Bay Cove. I didn't have it in focus. There you go.

There it is.

See? I meant to be here.

Hey, man. Hi.

I love you.

I love you, Cookster.

Fucking big time.

So?

Hey. Nice rig, Betty.

We can share that with the rest of our viewers, Yvonne.

Let's make stony hamburgers.

Huh?

Let's make chili hamburgers with pot and barbecue

chips ground up in a hamburger.

That's pretty insane, Betty.

You gotta add that to our little cookbook.

Okay, here we go. Before the orange lens.

There's the orange lens.

I'm not saying anything right now. I'm just letting us know so when we watch it

back, then we can cut.

Look at the nice sunset.

That's insane.

Whoa.

Wow.

Oh, I can't believe how orange it is right there.

It's unbelievably orange. Is it orange to you?

Is it orange?

Leave it there. I thought we were going to show that.

It's going to be orange.

Wait.

What are you doing? Now watch. It looks fucking wicked.

Because you.

I put him on the back of the boat.

Baby, put up two happy pants. What are you doing?

Sorry. No.

Baby. No.

Only naked people live on this beach.

It's a real fire pit.

Fucking badass!

Yep, this is Nymph Island.

Fucking right.

Naked beach.

Where's the sludge, fucking hammer?

Fucking place is beautiful.

And this is how dark I am.

Baby.

What? I'm recording our tan father.

Come over here. Bring your arm over.

What? I'm recording tan father.

This is Nymphomaniac Island.

Beware. Don't come near.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, baby.

Little campfire action.

What are you talking about?

Camping. Camping?

Yes.

Oh, my God.

This is crazy.

God, I hope you can see this.

It's so dark.

Throw some more fire and watch.

It's so beautiful.

Yep, we're camping.

Now we're camping.

Baby, what else are we going to do?

We're still camping. It's ridiculous.

Did you hear that?

What?

It's right over there.

Baby, there easily could be mountain lions here. Because it's flat, you know?

Yeah? Yeah. Stick it in there.

I love you.

Okay.

If anybody finds this tape and we're dead, it's because a mountain lion was

over there somewhere but

tony will probably hit him or something if he comes over

here so he can be sued but a wildlife

organization time

is on my side

Time is on my side.

Deb, you got it. Sorry, baby. Bye.

Roller coaster.

Yeah baby.

It is so beautiful.

I love you

Go, baby.