Original subtitles

This is a bird feeder,

and everything to my left is my attempt at making it squirrel-proof.

If they want the birdseed, they need to pass through

what is basically a Ninja Warrior obstacle course for squirrels.

This course is extremely challenging. It is not for the timid of heart.

But out of the gate, I will admit that, in hindsight,

that I completely underestimated my adversary.

If you're wondering why I'd go through all this,

we need to go back eight weeks ago

when I found myself stuck at home and very bored.

So I installed a bird feeder and decided to become a bird-watcher.

And it was just so lovely.

Until they showed up.

Luckily, my bird feeder had a wire cage around it

big enough for the birds to slip inside,

but small enough to prevent the squirrels from getting the food.

And that worked really well until right here.

For me, this was like the moment in Jurassic Park

when they realize the velociraptors can open door handles.

And once the door was open, it was clear this wasn't their first rodeo.

They basically cleared this whole tube of birdseed by the end of the day.

This bird feeder was advertised as being squirrel-proof,

so I bought another squirrel-proof bird feeder to replace it.

It's got this outer cage suspended by some springs,

so if a bird lands here, it doesn't weigh that much,

and it has access to the seeds.

However, if a squirrel comes, they'll grab onto this cage.

Its weight will force the springs down,

thereby preventing access to the seeds.

I have no idea how the squirrels could possibly outsmart this,

but let's see.

And this one worked exactly as intended.

The birds love it, but when the squirrel comes along,

the cage shifts down, and now all the seed ports are covered up.

Every time they tried, it was the same results.

The next morning,

this guy manages to unclip the springs that hold the cage up.

The cage stays in the lowered position where it blocks all the seed openings.

Problem with that is now they can get to the lid.

But this bird feeder lid doesn't hinge open to give direct access.

So he goes with a different tactic…

[bird feeder clatters]

[birds tweet]

…where he now has access to all the birdseed he wants.

And so I decided I would try one more bird feeder design.

Okay. Wow.

It almost feels intentional at this point.

This one's supposed to work well. It's got this baffle,

which is supposed to keep the squirrels from getting to the seeds.

And more importantly, there's no way for them to rip this off.

We'll see.

This one debuted to similar results.

As he hangs by a few toes,

I really started to gain an appreciation for what they were capable of.

It definitely seemed like this bird feeder was their favorite.

Okay. Yeah, they're flexing on me for sure.

And at this point, a plan was forming in my head,

but to be thorough, I moved the post away from the fence

and I can't say I was surprised when they climbed it.

Nor was I surprised

to see they could shimmy up and down a small metal pole

or even a large one, for that matter.

Whether they could climb a certain pole material was a moot point

because of this.

Look at this! These guys are basically freaking rodent-sized Simone Biles.

This is what it felt like when someone stole a package from my porch,

and I harnessed that indignation,

spending a year designing the Glitter Bomb bait package…

Hello.

[mechanism whirs]

…complete with special fragrances.

[groans]

[Mark] If I could design a package to deter thieves,

could I design a bird feeder to deter squirrels?

After a couple of weeks of brainstorming, designing and building with my buddy John,

we put it all together in this 20-second build montage.

[upbeat music plays]

Here are the basic elements.

Here's where I've placed their favorite bird feeder,

at the end of the course.

And to sweeten the deal, right below that, there's a trapdoor.

And if they step here,

it releases a butt-ton of walnuts

and unfurls some celebratory banners.

Why walnuts? I'm glad you asked.

Because over the course of a week,

I put out a buffet of seven different nuts and seeds.

All four times I repeated the experiment,

walnuts were always the one they ate first.

What's great about placing this here is it levels the playing field,

as the birds can fly up and get as much food as they want anytime they need it.

The squirrels, however, will have to work for it

because the only way to make it to this platform

is if they work their way through my Ninja Warrior obstacle course,

which starts right here.

This is the only platform on the course

that has a pole that isn't covered in slippery stuff,

which means this is where they have to climb up to enter the course.

If they try and get up any other way,

they can't keep a good grip and they slide back down.

The first challenge is the Bridge of Instability.

This may look easy, but the trick is it attaches at a single point on each end.

From a physics standpoint,

that makes it no different than trying to crawl across a tightrope.

It's the same deceptive principle with that carnival game that's impossible.

In another video, I used physics to show which carnival games were basically scams

and how to beat them.

Next up, the Maze of a Thousand Corridors. This one's a bit more cerebral.

If they make it through, it'll bring them to the Pitchfork Tumblers,

inspired by the show Wipeout.

Unlike Wipeout, I should point out that all these contraptions

are squirrel-friendly.

And even with a little back force, they will break away and stop spinning.

If they make it past the Pitchfork Tumblers of Treachery,

they come to one of my favorites, the Homewrecker.

[romantic music plays]

[music fades]

I put her in to tempt the squirrel to lose focus on the prize at the end.

This pad has a pressure sensor underneath, and it connects to a microcontroller

that has a relay that connects to a solenoid

that connects to a pneumatic piston that connects to this pressure sensor.

If they stand here for more than three seconds…

[mechanism hisses]

…they've gotta start all over again.

Next up is the Slinky Bridge of Deception.

I've suspended a juicy walnut right in the middle.

No way this bridge will support their weight,

so it'll be interesting how they approach it.

The sixth challenge is the Tourist Trap. It's a reward for making it this far.

If the squirrel sticks their head through this board,

it's a photo op they can hang on the wall of their nest.

I'll place a walnut here as an incentive for them not to miss this opportunity.

The penultimate challenge are the Quad Steps of Great Elevation.

Straight from Ninja Warrior, this is super tricky

because these pads are all totally smooth and placed at a 45-degree incline.

Now the last challenge.

At this point, they are a mere few feet away from their ultimate goal.

If they're not careful, they'll have to deal with the Orbital-Assist Platform,

aka the Final Countdown,

aka it's not a catapult, it's a squirrel-apult.

Which means they now have to go back and start all the way from the beginning.

If they wanna avoid that fate,

they just need to stand on this pad for less than three seconds.

But once again, I've placed a diversion here.

This projects an optical illusion of anything you place in this dish.

It's super trippy, and looks even more impressive in real life

because the projected image is 3D.

They're nine bucks on Amazon, and I put a link

that explains the juicy physics of how they work in the video description.

With regards to squirrel safety, I know I seem to have this reputation of…

[screaming]

…improvised high-speed projectiles,

so this one might worry a few animal lovers,

including my wife.

We have five pets and one child. The child was the only one I had a say in.

So rest assured, I can adjust the pressure on the piston,

and we'll be staying way below any launch force

that could hurt any of our adorable backyard contestants.

Finally, after making it through all that,

we're back at the world's most satisfying bird feeder.

As far as I'm concerned, if they make it here, they've earned the right

to gorge next to the birds for as long as they want.

After nearly a month of prep work,

the course was officially open for business.

They could smell the walnuts at the final station.

You could see the gears turning

because right above that was their favorite bird feeder.

And so before long, we had our first contender.

[suspenseful music plays]

That didn't exactly go as planned, so Rick decides to regroup.

Speaking of which, that's Rick.

There are a total of four competitors attempting the course.

First up is Rick, and he weighs 500 grams.

I know this 'cause he's standing on a custom-made scale.

Rick is very clever, as you'll see in a minute,

but he gets spooked easily.

Next up is Marty. He's basically indistinguishable from Rick.

Rick and Marty are inseparable and spend all their time together.

Our third contender is Frank, also coming in around 500 grams.

He's very gutsy. He's also kinda dumb.

Finally, we've got my personal favorite, Phat Gus.

He's just really charming and will pose if he sees a camera.

He also really likes to eat,

and he tips the scales at an impressive 800 grams.

While most of the squirrels are particular

before making a selection and then gracefully leaping away,

Phat Gus just goes for it, hands-free.

Just makes himself real comfortable.

Here he is laying out with a light snack.

You can't fault the guy for just clearly appreciating a good meal.

So now that you know our four contenders, let's get back to Rick.

He hops back on, and he's doing better than his first attempt.

Mm, just barely.

This is the best because he's like, "Okay, I got this."

"Never mind. Well, maybe… No, I definitely don't."

This was the exact moment I realized I just might be outmatched here.

[jaunty music plays]

Marty was watching Rick, and after a dip of his toes in the water,

adopts his strategy right out of the gate.

Oof. So close.

But an excellent recovery.

And Phat Gus, perhaps predictably, comes up a little short,

which brings us to the Maze of a Thousand Corridors,

which, to be honest, they mastered this one pretty quickly.

Here's a solid run from Phat Gus.

And now for the Pitchfork Tumblers of Treachery.

Marty was like, "Yeah, that's a hard pass."

Phat Gus is just like, "Abort!"

Frank is just like, "Nope."

Then he's like, "Wait a second. Hmm. Still nope."

Then Marty flies in real hot over the top.

That's partial credit as far as I'm concerned.

And then here's Phat Gus with my favorite attempt by far.

Frank shows no fear, which helps him pull off

this near flawless run.

Finally, Rick weaves his way through, essentially untouched.

The squirrels were most active from 6:00 to 10:00 a.m.,

so I've been getting up before sunrise to start filming from in my house

like one of those camouflage nature photographers,

only, like, a suburbanized version.

I've also had a handful of streaming cameras rolling 24-7,

which has allowed me to make such discoveries as

we have the world's worst guard dog.

Thanks for the help, pal.

Now back to the Homewrecker.

Rick is instinctively suspicious of this gold digger,

and only for a moment puts his full weight on the platform.

I told you he was smart. Marty, on the other hand…

[mechanism hisses]

[music fades]

She is a cruel mistress.

Because I know my wife is going to ask,

no, this will not hurt the squirrel for two reasons.

Number one, they are amazing, like cats, and always land on their feet.

And two, they themselves were jumping from this height all the time,

and in some cases, much higher.

Squirrels are one of the few mammals that can survive a fall from any height

because they make their terminal velocity so low.

You can see it here.

They make their body as flat as possible, then put their tail back to increase drag.

They basically become their own parachute.

Before they land, they pull in and fully extend their arms and legs

to act as shock-absorbing landing gear.

This is so cool.

Back to the course, where even smart Rick lets his guard down,

which is exactly when she strikes.

But like all the other obstacles so far, after a day or two, they'd mastered it.

In this case, even disregarding her offering of a fresh walnut.

Now onto the Slinky Bridge of Deception. This was the sleeper obstacle in my book.

That is not a large gap, which they can easily jump,

but having the Slinky there threw them off somehow.

You can see how much Frank equivocates here, and he's the brave one.

[jaunty music plays]

And Rick only jumps when Marty shows up for emotional support.

But like all the obstacles so far,

after a day or two, they'd mastered it.

Now onto our third-to-last obstacle, the Tourist Trap.

This was just a freaking delight.

A little peanut butter really did the trick here.

Now here comes Phat Gus, and how Phat Gus is this?

He sees the camera and he's like, "Paint me like one of your French squirrels."

Yeah? No? No takers? All right.

Here's another classic Gus, where he looks at the camera…

Wait a second. Play that back.

And freeze. Zoom.

Enhance.

[sinister music sting]

[easy listening music plays]

[music stops]

Well, turns out Phat Gus is not a dude.

And he's pregnant.

I was suddenly feeling real uncomfortable about all those weight comments.

So after a bit of a pivot to smooth things over,

we soldiered on to the Quad Steps of Great Elevation.

Frank comes in rather confident, almost to his demise,

but he pulls off the smooth recovery.

[jaunty music plays]

After not much time, they were looking pretty good here.

In fact, one morning, I noticed Marty skipped the last step altogether,

which I took as a challenge.

I removed the middle step to see what they would do.

And who else but Phantastic Gus?

Let's slow that down a bit.

They're such amazing jumpers,

so I suppose the quick mastery here wasn't a surprise.

This right here is probably a ten-foot jump.

And here's some classic brave-but-dumb Frank.

He'd already made it to the Homewrecker at least a dozen times by this point.

And yet he decides this 12-foot jump is his best course of action.

Smart Rick was the first to enter the course,

so in the end, after about a week of effort,

it was fitting he was the one to make it to the jackpot first.

He's so stoked, he wants to run the whole course in reverse.

In hindsight, we should have made the jackpot a little quieter.

Here's Marty, as always, not far behind.

He's also a bit flighty, which worked against him here.

Down below, Phantastic Gus, ever the opportunist,

comes through with a real stroke of brilliance.

But pretty soon, Marty comes back like, "Um, I'm the one who kinda earned that."

And then Phantastic Gus is like, "You snooze, you lose, sucker!"

Might I say, Phantastic Gus, when you sit like that,

you don't look an ounce over 700 grams.

They learned that sound was good and quickly returned for their reward

before Phantastic Gus got any ideas.

Here's a single camera shot of a full run,

By the end, all of them could do the full course in less than 40 seconds.

And you might be wondering what happened to the squirrel-apult.

Unfortunately, they didn't fall for my illusion much,

but I'm about to show you the two times they did.

As a promise to my wife, I turned the pressure to only 40% full power,

so the acceleration the squirrel would feel is about half a G,

which is ten times less than a typical roller coaster.

Additionally, I never turned on the Homewrecker trapdoor

or the launch platform

when I wasn't actively watching from inside my house,

where I had a manual-override button.

Because something about launching Phantastic Gus just didn't feel right.

What you're about to see is gonna look chaotic, but when we check the slo-mo,

amazingly, I'll show you

how the squirrel is totally in control pretty much the whole time.

Here's a second angle.

Even if you don't trust my calculations,

I can assure you that the squirrels did not care.

In both launch cases, they were back up on the course in five minutes.

Here's the slo-mo, and see if you can spot the two critical things he does

to make sure he lands feet down.

Did you catch it?

The first critical moment is here.

He's already done the math

and he's locked his head on the spot where he plans to land,

and now his head will lock on that spot the whole way down.

What's crazy is the time it takes him to do all the predictive math

to know where he will land and to lock his head

is 300 milliseconds.

That's exactly this long. Less than the blink of an eye.

That blows my mind, but it makes sense these reactions evolved to be razor sharp

if you live in the trees, constantly making split-second decisions.

Besides picking the landing spot with his head,

the second trick is with his arms.

To keep his upper body from rotating, he has his arms out.

The moment he wants to rotate his upper body quickly, he tucks them in.

When he wants to stop rotating, he extends them out again.

This is conservation of angular momentum.

It's the same trick ice-skaters use.

Bring your limbs in if you want to rotate fast.

Extend them out if you want to slow the rotation.

My buddy Destin from Smarter Every Day also made a video

analyzing how cats always land on their feet,

and they do the exact same two tricks.

The head target-lock, and bringing limbs in to rotate

and out to stop rotation.

Here's the second launch.

This may look like pure luck in real time, but the slo-mo tells a different story.

In that amount of time, he's already made a slight lateral push

and locked his landing target with his head.

We know from the previous clip, he can rotate his body to any orientation.

He doesn't in this case because he sees his small push

has already aligned him for the perfect landing.

That's just so cool.

After those two physics demonstrations,

I disabled both the launcher and the Homewrecker trapdoor

and let them enjoy the course in peace.

They had earned it.

Plus, after spending a month together, we were sort of bros.

If they saw me coming out, they would jump away,

but they'd quickly be right back.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end,

and because I didn't want them to develop a dependence on my handouts,

after a week of free rein, I took down the course.

But in its place, I put up a specialized squirrel-sized picnic table.

Every morning, this door opens to release a few walnuts

as a treat to remind them of our good times together.

Although I had to laugh that somehow I didn't anticipate, on day one,

Frank would try and figure out

and partially succeed in finding a way to beat the system.

Like everything, they quickly caught on,

and on some mornings, I'll catch them waiting for the daily ration,

chilling patiently on the bench seat.

That is, everyone but

Phantastic Gus.

Don't ever change, buddy.

When I started this two-month-long adventure, trying to bird-watch,

I had no idea I would enjoy squirrel-watching so much more.

It's made me realize

that, even amongst the structures and pavement and power lines,

how interesting nature can be in a single suburban backyard

if you just really stop to look.

Even the plants are amazing.

I had no idea that as vines grow,

they spin around, looking for something to grab onto.

I didn't anticipate the wide variety of animals

that use fences as inter-yard highways to get around

as a substitute for all the trees that existed before we got here.

Even little interactions, like this spider extending his life

with this very timely leap into the unknown,

were just so delightful to see.

But of all the animals, I can definitively say

that squirrels are my absolute favorite,

and they're a more formidable adversary than porch pirates.

They're kind of adorable, incredibly crafty,

curious by nature, athletic, and persistent.

Turns out squirrels can live to be 20 years old.

I like to think that, someday,

Phantastic Gus will bring his grand-squirrels to the fence

and regale them with tales of cowboys, and courage, and legendary walnut piles.

[music stops]