All language subtitles for Mark.Robers.CrunchLabs.S02E02.Backyard.Squirrel.Obstacle.Course.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-WhiteHat_track3_[eng]

This is a bird feeder,

and everything to my left
is my attempt at making it squirrel-proof.

If they want the birdseed,
they need to pass through

what is basically a Ninja Warrior
obstacle course for squirrels.

This course is extremely challenging.
It is not for the timid of heart.

But out of the gate,
I will admit that, in hindsight,

that I completely underestimated
my adversary.

If you're wondering
why I'd go through all this,

we need to go back eight weeks ago

when I found myself stuck at home
and very bored.

So I installed a bird feeder
and decided to become a bird-watcher.

And it was just so lovely.

Until they showed up.

Luckily, my bird feeder
had a wire cage around it

big enough for the birds to slip inside,

but small enough to prevent the squirrels
from getting the food.

And that worked really well
until right here.

For me, this was like
the moment in Jurassic Park

when they realize
the velociraptors can open door handles.

And once the door was open, it was clear
this wasn't their first rodeo.

They basically cleared this whole tube
of birdseed by the end of the day.

This bird feeder was advertised
as being squirrel-proof,

so I bought another squirrel-proof
bird feeder to replace it.

It's got this outer cage
suspended by some springs,

so if a bird lands here,
it doesn't weigh that much,

and it has access to the seeds.

However, if a squirrel comes,
they'll grab onto this cage.

Its weight will force the springs down,

thereby preventing access to the seeds.

I have no idea how the squirrels
could possibly outsmart this,

but let's see.

And this one worked exactly as intended.

The birds love it,
but when the squirrel comes along,

the cage shifts down,
and now all the seed ports are covered up.

Every time they tried,
it was the same results.

The next morning,

this guy manages to unclip the springs
that hold the cage up.

The cage stays in the lowered position
where it blocks all the seed openings.

Problem with that
is now they can get to the lid.

But this bird feeder lid
doesn't hinge open to give direct access.

So he goes with a different tactic…

[bird feeder clatters]

[birds tweet]

…where he now has access
to all the birdseed he wants.

And so I decided
I would try one more bird feeder design.

Okay. Wow.

It almost feels intentional at this point.

This one's supposed to work well.
It's got this baffle,

which is supposed to keep the squirrels
from getting to the seeds.

And more importantly,
there's no way for them to rip this off.

We'll see.

This one debuted to similar results.

As he hangs by a few toes,

I really started to gain an appreciation
for what they were capable of.

It definitely seemed like this bird feeder
was their favorite.

Okay. Yeah,
they're flexing on me for sure.

And at this point,
a plan was forming in my head,

but to be thorough,
I moved the post away from the fence

and I can't say I was surprised
when they climbed it.

Nor was I surprised

to see they could shimmy up and down
a small metal pole

or even a large one, for that matter.

Whether they could climb
a certain pole material was a moot point

because of this.

Look at this! These guys are basically
freaking rodent-sized Simone Biles.

This is what it felt like when someone
stole a package from my porch,

and I harnessed that indignation,

spending a year
designing the Glitter Bomb bait package…

Hello.

[mechanism whirs]

…complete with special fragrances.

[groans]

[Mark] If I could design a package
to deter thieves,

could I design a bird feeder
to deter squirrels?

After a couple of weeks of brainstorming,
designing and building with my buddy John,

we put it all together
in this 20-second build montage.

[upbeat music plays]

Here are the basic elements.

Here's where I've placed
their favorite bird feeder,

at the end of the course.

And to sweeten the deal,
right below that, there's a trapdoor.

And if they step here,

it releases a butt-ton of walnuts

and unfurls some celebratory banners.

Why walnuts? I'm glad you asked.

Because over the course of a week,

I put out a buffet
of seven different nuts and seeds.

All four times I repeated the experiment,

walnuts were always
the one they ate first.

What's great about placing this here
is it levels the playing field,

as the birds can fly up and get as much
food as they want anytime they need it.

The squirrels, however,
will have to work for it

because the only way
to make it to this platform

is if they work their way through
my Ninja Warrior obstacle course,

which starts right here.

This is the only platform on the course

that has a pole
that isn't covered in slippery stuff,

which means this is where they have
to climb up to enter the course.

If they try and get up any other way,

they can't keep a good grip
and they slide back down.

The first challenge
is the Bridge of Instability.

This may look easy, but the trick is
it attaches at a single point on each end.

From a physics standpoint,

that makes it no different
than trying to crawl across a tightrope.

It's the same deceptive principle
with that carnival game that's impossible.

In another video, I used physics to show
which carnival games were basically scams

and how to beat them.

Next up, the Maze of a Thousand Corridors.
This one's a bit more cerebral.

If they make it through, it'll bring them
to the Pitchfork Tumblers,

inspired by the show Wipeout.

Unlike Wipeout, I should point out
that all these contraptions

are squirrel-friendly.

And even with a little back force,
they will break away and stop spinning.

If they make it past
the Pitchfork Tumblers of Treachery,

they come to one of my favorites,
the Homewrecker.

[romantic music plays]

[music fades]

I put her in to tempt the squirrel
to lose focus on the prize at the end.

This pad has a pressure sensor underneath,
and it connects to a microcontroller

that has a relay
that connects to a solenoid

that connects to a pneumatic piston
that connects to this pressure sensor.

If they stand here
for more than three seconds…

[mechanism hisses]

…they've gotta start all over again.

Next up is the Slinky Bridge of Deception.

I've suspended a juicy walnut
right in the middle.

No way this bridge
will support their weight,

so it'll be interesting
how they approach it.

The sixth challenge is the Tourist Trap.
It's a reward for making it this far.

If the squirrel sticks their head
through this board,

it's a photo op
they can hang on the wall of their nest.

I'll place a walnut here as an incentive
for them not to miss this opportunity.

The penultimate challenge
are the Quad Steps of Great Elevation.

Straight from Ninja Warrior,
this is super tricky

because these pads are all totally smooth
and placed at a 45-degree incline.

Now the last challenge.

At this point, they are a mere few feet
away from their ultimate goal.

If they're not careful, they'll have to
deal with the Orbital-Assist Platform,

aka the Final Countdown,

aka it's not a catapult,
it's a squirrel-apult.

Which means they now have to go back
and start all the way from the beginning.

If they wanna avoid that fate,

they just need to stand on this pad
for less than three seconds.

But once again,
I've placed a diversion here.

This projects an optical illusion
of anything you place in this dish.

It's super trippy, and looks
even more impressive in real life

because the projected image is 3D.

They're nine bucks on Amazon,
and I put a link

that explains the juicy physics
of how they work in the video description.

With regards to squirrel safety,
I know I seem to have this reputation of…

[screaming]

…improvised high-speed projectiles,

so this one might worry
a few animal lovers,

including my wife.

We have five pets and one child.
The child was the only one I had a say in.

So rest assured,
I can adjust the pressure on the piston,

and we'll be staying way below
any launch force

that could hurt
any of our adorable backyard contestants.

Finally, after making it through all that,

we're back at the world's
most satisfying bird feeder.

As far as I'm concerned, if they make it
here, they've earned the right

to gorge next to the birds
for as long as they want.

After nearly a month of prep work,

the course was
officially open for business.

They could smell the walnuts
at the final station.

You could see the gears turning

because right above that
was their favorite bird feeder.

And so before long,
we had our first contender.

[suspenseful music plays]

That didn't exactly go as planned,
so Rick decides to regroup.

Speaking of which, that's Rick.

There are a total of four competitors
attempting the course.

First up is Rick, and he weighs 500 grams.

I know this 'cause he's standing
on a custom-made scale.

Rick is very clever,
as you'll see in a minute,

but he gets spooked easily.

Next up is Marty. He's basically
indistinguishable from Rick.

Rick and Marty are inseparable
and spend all their time together.

Our third contender is Frank,
also coming in around 500 grams.

He's very gutsy. He's also kinda dumb.

Finally, we've got my personal favorite,
Phat Gus.

He's just really charming
and will pose if he sees a camera.

He also really likes to eat,

and he tips the scales
at an impressive 800 grams.

While most of the squirrels are particular

before making a selection
and then gracefully leaping away,

Phat Gus just goes for it, hands-free.

Just makes himself real comfortable.

Here he is laying out with a light snack.

You can't fault the guy
for just clearly appreciating a good meal.

So now that you know our four contenders,
let's get back to Rick.

He hops back on, and he's doing better
than his first attempt.

Mm, just barely.

This is the best
because he's like, "Okay, I got this."

"Never mind. Well, maybe…
No, I definitely don't."

This was the exact moment I realized
I just might be outmatched here.

[jaunty music plays]

Marty was watching Rick,
and after a dip of his toes in the water,

adopts his strategy right out of the gate.

Oof. So close.

But an excellent recovery.

And Phat Gus, perhaps predictably,
comes up a little short,

which brings us
to the Maze of a Thousand Corridors,

which, to be honest,
they mastered this one pretty quickly.

Here's a solid run from Phat Gus.

And now for
the Pitchfork Tumblers of Treachery.

Marty was like,
"Yeah, that's a hard pass."

Phat Gus is just like, "Abort!"

Frank is just like, "Nope."

Then he's like, "Wait a second.
Hmm. Still nope."

Then Marty flies in real hot over the top.

That's partial credit
as far as I'm concerned.

And then here's Phat Gus
with my favorite attempt by far.

Frank shows no fear,
which helps him pull off

this near flawless run.

Finally, Rick weaves his way through,
essentially untouched.

The squirrels were most active
from 6:00 to 10:00 a.m.,

so I've been getting up before sunrise
to start filming from in my house

like one of those
camouflage nature photographers,

only, like, a suburbanized version.

I've also had a handful
of streaming cameras rolling 24-7,

which has allowed me
to make such discoveries as

we have the world's worst guard dog.

Thanks for the help, pal.

Now back to the Homewrecker.

Rick is instinctively suspicious
of this gold digger,

and only for a moment
puts his full weight on the platform.

I told you he was smart.
Marty, on the other hand…

[mechanism hisses]

[music fades]

She is a cruel mistress.

Because I know my wife is going to ask,

no, this will not hurt the squirrel
for two reasons.

Number one, they are amazing, like cats,
and always land on their feet.

And two, they themselves were jumping
from this height all the time,

and in some cases, much higher.

Squirrels are one of the few mammals
that can survive a fall from any height

because they make
their terminal velocity so low.

You can see it here.

They make their body as flat as possible,
then put their tail back to increase drag.

They basically become their own parachute.

Before they land, they pull in
and fully extend their arms and legs

to act as shock-absorbing landing gear.

This is so cool.

Back to the course,
where even smart Rick lets his guard down,

which is exactly when she strikes.

But like all the other obstacles so far,
after a day or two, they'd mastered it.

In this case, even disregarding
her offering of a fresh walnut.

Now onto the Slinky Bridge of Deception.
This was the sleeper obstacle in my book.

That is not a large gap,
which they can easily jump,

but having the Slinky there
threw them off somehow.

You can see how much Frank equivocates
here, and he's the brave one.

[jaunty music plays]

And Rick only jumps
when Marty shows up for emotional support.

But like all the obstacles so far,

after a day or two, they'd mastered it.

Now onto our third-to-last obstacle,
the Tourist Trap.

This was just a freaking delight.

A little peanut butter
really did the trick here.

Now here comes Phat Gus,
and how Phat Gus is this?

He sees the camera and he's like, "Paint
me like one of your French squirrels."

Yeah? No? No takers? All right.

Here's another classic Gus,
where he looks at the camera…

Wait a second. Play that back.

And freeze. Zoom.

Enhance.

[sinister music sting]

[easy listening music plays]

[music stops]

Well, turns out Phat Gus is not a dude.

And he's pregnant.

I was suddenly feeling real uncomfortable
about all those weight comments.

So after a bit of a pivot
to smooth things over,

we soldiered on
to the Quad Steps of Great Elevation.

Frank comes in rather confident,
almost to his demise,

but he pulls off the smooth recovery.

[jaunty music plays]

After not much time,
they were looking pretty good here.

In fact, one morning, I noticed
Marty skipped the last step altogether,

which I took as a challenge.

I removed the middle step
to see what they would do.

And who else but Phantastic Gus?

Let's slow that down a bit.

They're such amazing jumpers,

so I suppose the quick mastery here
wasn't a surprise.

This right here
is probably a ten-foot jump.

And here's some classic
brave-but-dumb Frank.

He'd already made it to the Homewrecker
at least a dozen times by this point.

And yet he decides this 12-foot jump
is his best course of action.

Smart Rick was the first
to enter the course,

so in the end,
after about a week of effort,

it was fitting he was the one
to make it to the jackpot first.

He's so stoked, he wants to run
the whole course in reverse.

In hindsight, we should have
made the jackpot a little quieter.

Here's Marty, as always, not far behind.

He's also a bit flighty,
which worked against him here.

Down below, Phantastic Gus,
ever the opportunist,

comes through
with a real stroke of brilliance.

But pretty soon, Marty comes back like,
"Um, I'm the one who kinda earned that."

And then Phantastic Gus is like,
"You snooze, you lose, sucker!"

Might I say, Phantastic Gus,
when you sit like that,

you don't look an ounce over 700 grams.

They learned that sound was good
and quickly returned for their reward

before Phantastic Gus got any ideas.

Here's a single camera shot of a full run,

By the end, all of them could do
the full course in less than 40 seconds.

And you might be wondering
what happened to the squirrel-apult.

Unfortunately,
they didn't fall for my illusion much,

but I'm about to show you
the two times they did.

As a promise to my wife, I turned
the pressure to only 40% full power,

so the acceleration
the squirrel would feel is about half a G,

which is ten times less
than a typical roller coaster.

Additionally, I never turned on
the Homewrecker trapdoor

or the launch platform

when I wasn't actively watching
from inside my house,

where I had a manual-override button.

Because something about launching
Phantastic Gus just didn't feel right.

What you're about to see is gonna look
chaotic, but when we check the slo-mo,

amazingly, I'll show you

how the squirrel is totally in control
pretty much the whole time.

Here's a second angle.

Even if you don't trust my calculations,

I can assure you
that the squirrels did not care.

In both launch cases, they were
back up on the course in five minutes.

Here's the slo-mo, and see if you can spot
the two critical things he does

to make sure he lands feet down.

Did you catch it?

The first critical moment is here.

He's already done the math

and he's locked his head on the spot
where he plans to land,

and now his head will lock on that spot
the whole way down.

What's crazy is the time it takes him
to do all the predictive math

to know where he will land
and to lock his head

is 300 milliseconds.

That's exactly this long.
Less than the blink of an eye.

That blows my mind, but it makes sense
these reactions evolved to be razor sharp

if you live in the trees,
constantly making split-second decisions.

Besides picking the landing spot
with his head,

the second trick is with his arms.

To keep his upper body from rotating,
he has his arms out.

The moment he wants to rotate
his upper body quickly, he tucks them in.

When he wants to stop rotating,
he extends them out again.

This is conservation of angular momentum.

It's the same trick ice-skaters use.

Bring your limbs in
if you want to rotate fast.

Extend them out
if you want to slow the rotation.

My buddy Destin from Smarter Every Day
also made a video

analyzing how cats
always land on their feet,

and they do the exact same two tricks.

The head target-lock,
and bringing limbs in to rotate

and out to stop rotation.

Here's the second launch.

This may look like pure luck in real time,
but the slo-mo tells a different story.

In that amount of time,
he's already made a slight lateral push

and locked his landing target
with his head.

We know from the previous clip, he can
rotate his body to any orientation.

He doesn't in this case
because he sees his small push

has already aligned him
for the perfect landing.

That's just so cool.

After those two physics demonstrations,

I disabled both the launcher
and the Homewrecker trapdoor

and let them enjoy the course in peace.

They had earned it.

Plus, after spending a month together,
we were sort of bros.

If they saw me coming out,
they would jump away,

but they'd quickly be right back.

Sadly, all good things
must come to an end,

and because I didn't want them to develop
a dependence on my handouts,

after a week of free rein,
I took down the course.

But in its place, I put up
a specialized squirrel-sized picnic table.

Every morning, this door opens
to release a few walnuts

as a treat
to remind them of our good times together.

Although I had to laugh that somehow
I didn't anticipate, on day one,

Frank would try and figure out

and partially succeed
in finding a way to beat the system.

Like everything, they quickly caught on,

and on some mornings, I'll catch them
waiting for the daily ration,

chilling patiently on the bench seat.

That is, everyone but

Phantastic Gus.

Don't ever change, buddy.

When I started this two-month-long
adventure, trying to bird-watch,

I had no idea I would enjoy
squirrel-watching so much more.

It's made me realize

that, even amongst the structures
and pavement and power lines,

how interesting nature can be
in a single suburban backyard

if you just really stop to look.

Even the plants are amazing.

I had no idea that as vines grow,

they spin around,
looking for something to grab onto.

I didn't anticipate
the wide variety of animals

that use fences
as inter-yard highways to get around

as a substitute for all the trees
that existed before we got here.

Even little interactions,
like this spider extending his life

with this very timely leap
into the unknown,

were just so delightful to see.

But of all the animals,
I can definitively say

that squirrels are my absolute favorite,

and they're a more formidable adversary
than porch pirates.

They're kind of adorable,
incredibly crafty,

curious by nature,
athletic, and persistent.

Turns out squirrels can live
to be 20 years old.

I like to think that, someday,

Phantastic Gus will bring
his grand-squirrels to the fence

and regale them with tales of cowboys,
and courage, and legendary walnut piles.

[music stops]