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Who are you?

Well, I'm the Devil,

Where are we?

We're in the

Now, I know this

but I promise you,

I actually used to like

Clowns.

I even dressed up like

See? That's me.

So now how did I go

Well, that's a funny

Now, before you even ask,

no, I wasn't touched by an

I wasn't abandoned by

And despite how this looks,

I really don't wanna

I just really, really,

Not so funny now, are you? Clown.

You know that old saying,

Well, I gotta call bullshit,

I think as long as there have

there have been

People who despise them.

People who want to

Because here's the

they're not funny,

they're not cute.

They're frightening,

They're fucking evil.

A mockery of man at our worst,

a monster in makeup at best.

And it's okay to kill monsters.

In fact, as crazy as it sounds,

that's what all the

That's a word that gets

"Crazy."

I wasn't born a psychopath,

but I wasn't made

No, I'm something different.

And I'm walking my own path.

No, don't get me wrong...

I don't want to just kill

I want to kill all

I'm going to kill

every single last one of them.

Holt, is there a single print we could use yet?

- No, ma'am. - Everything we have is here.

It all belongs to the dead guy or the apartment owner.

And the friend's alibi checks out?

- Yeah, apparently he's outta rehab in Vegas right now.

I think he's an entertainer or something.

- All right, thanks.

What a waste.

What's a waste?

- This case, of time.

Some bum brings a broad to his buddy's place,

she polishes his knob, cleans his clock,

then she cleans him out.

Case closed.

- So you think you got it all figured out, do you?

- And you have a better idea?

Do you?

- Yeah, let's just go with your theory.

I don't even want to know what happened in this room.

Tommy, this is good.

This is really good.

- Yeah?

You think so?

- I do. I definitely think your

writing is getting much stronger.

And I love how the hero killer now has a nose,

like a trophy.

But I am a bit curious, I mean...

Why the outside setting?

Does he wanna get caught?

- Maybe he thinks he never will.

- I think you know the odds are greater than that.

Everyone gets caught.

- Honestly, Doc...

I think I've just been feeling more inspired lately.

Maybe it has something to do with being back home,

back where it all started.

It makes my muse go a little mad.

- And are you feeling a little bit more mad lately, Tommy?

- Well, I haven't murdered anybody,

if that's what you're asking,

- Tommy, that's not what I'm saying at all.

I mean, you have made so much progress

in the last couple of years,

but we still have a lot of work to do.

- I really feel like this part of the therapy

is helping, Doc.

I spent a lot of time thinking about this story,

plotting out all the little details.

- Look, you started off writing as part of your therapy,

but now your stories are so good.

You should do something with them someday.

I mean it, Tommy.

You started writing your fears, you know, not facing them.

Have you had any episodes lately or?

- I mean, aside from seeing them at fast food franchises,

crazy car salesman, and all over the news.

Not to mention that clowns seem to be

the new zombies in horror movies.

Other than that...

No, I'm good, Doc.

- Well, I mean it, Tommy.

Your writing is terrific,

and I really hope you do something with it

rather than filing it away and forgetting about it.

- I'll think about it, Doc. I promise.

- Oh, and Tommy...

After reading your latest story,

I advise that you stay away from that...

- Hey, kids!

- Oh, hey there, young fella.

Long night, eh?

I said long night, eh?

I know I sure as shit could use a drink or two.

Oh, what's going on here?

Don't be messing around here, kid.

Help!

Help!

Oh, God.

Help us, mister.

Please don't hurt me. I'm just a clown.

Everybody loves a clown.

- Oh...

All right, hot shot. What do you got?

Where's the murder weapon?

- Still looking, sir.

Apparently nobody saw or heard anything.

And since there's no cameras back here...

- Well, you guys are detectives.

Detect already!

I want every single inch of these hallways searched,

and if the weapon's here, I want it found.

Now!

- What? No, Mom, of course I'm listening.

Yeah, I'm really excited to hear about your trip.

I can't wait.

Mom, I'm not dating Jason anymore.

It just didn't work out, that's why.

He spent all of his time on social networks

and not in the real world.

Yeah, I know, I know.

I liked him too.

- Hello, Eden.

Do...you have a minute?

I mean, I'll come back.

- Bastian, I'm on my way out.

Can we do this Monday, please?

- Yeah, right.

Sorry. Sorry.

- No, Mom.

No, it was Bastian. He works here.

No, not my type.

- Come on, kitten. Let's go already!

The party starts meow!

- Shelly, it's my mom. Okay?

Can I meet you there later?

- Better hurry up! I don't wanna be left alone

with the cougars

and the vultures all by myself.

- You'll be fine. Just go.

- Fine. Tell your mom I said hi.

- Sorry, Mom. It was Shelly.

- Yeah, we're going to a bachelorette party,

and she's waiting on me.

All right, look.

Look, Mom, I gotta go. Okay?

Yeah, I'll be careful tonight.

I love you too.

All right, call me when you get back.

Bye.

- Busy night?

- Calm before the storm, my man.

Bachelorette party's coming in later.

That's gonna be nuts.

- I don't know, man.

Room full of chicks all looking to have a good time?

Sounds like the perfect place to be for me.

- Your funeral.

What you drinkin'?

- Whiskey. Irish, please.

- Where's that damn mall rat at?

I'm not even supposed to be here today.

What are you gawking at? It's just makeup.

Mind your own business!

You want to take a picture, Rooster Boy?

It'll last longer.

Everybody loves a clown.

- Oh. I'm sorry.

- Me too.

Thank you.

I gotta go, you know?

Oh, yeah!

- Look, I was outta line earlier.

- Nah, man.

Don't worry about it.

I was being a dick. Sorry.

I do so many of these shows, these girls try to...

They just get too wild.

Let me buy you a drink, make it up to you.

Bartender, let me get two whiskeys.

One for me and my buddy here.

Hey, man.

I'm gonna go take a piss real quick.

I'll be right back.

- Yeah, yeah. Me too.

You again.

- Yeah, me again.

I just wanted to say bye.

Maybe I'll see you around?

- Yeah, I'd like that. I'd really like that.

- I guess I better...

- Yeah, me too.

- Oh, this feels so good.

Oh...

I don't even know your name.

- Oh, hey. Oh, shit.

I'm sorry.

I was just wondering if you were still here.

Wow, is he okay?

- Yeah, he's fine.

Just had a little bit too much to drink, but he'll be fine.

He'll have a killer headache in the morning.

- Hey, listen, I was...

This might be a little bit too forward,

but I was wondering if you might wanna

stick around for a while, maybe grab a drink.

Unless you're-

- Yeah, yeah, I'd love that.

Let me just, let me finish taking care of him,

and I can meet you back inside?

- Okay.

- Where were we?

Oh, yeah.

You die.

- No, oh God. No, no, please.

Please, no.

Oh, God. - God?

- Yeah, yeah. Why?

- There's no God for you, Clown.

Then again, maybe today's your lucky day.

- Yeah. Yeah, please.

Yeah, yeah. - I don't know.

You think there's any chance that

a girl like that, a guy like me...

- I do. I really, really do.

I think that you two are meant to be together.

Please. I won't say a word.

Just let me go. Please.

Please. I promise.

Thank you. Thank God.

- You're welcome.

- Hey.

Your friend okay?

- Who?

Oh, he's not my friend.

I mean, I don't really know him, but he's fine.

Trust me. He's not doing a thing right now.

- Well, I think it's really nice that you helped out a stranger.

You don't see a lot of that in this world anymore.

- So...

- So...

- Why is this so awkward?

- Right? Like,

I've been rehearsing what to say to you all night.

Ah, man, that was out loud, wasn't it?

- Yeah.

Hey, don't worry. Me too.

- Can we just start drinking now?

- Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think I'd like that.

- Forgive me, I'm Tommy.

- Eden.

- You wanna pick your poison, Eden?

- No. - No?

It doesn't work for you?

No.

- Oh, man. Closing time already.

Feels like we just met.

- Well...

Just because the bar's done, doesn't mean we have to be,

We could go to my place and and watch a movie or something.

Or is that too forward?

- You comin' or what?

It's just a movie. I swear.

You can trust me.

- What movie we gonna watch?

- Hey.

Sorry, I didn't wanna wake you.

- That's sweet. Thanks.

I'm just glad you didn't sneak out, actually.

- Why would I want to do that?

You'd be surprised.

Wow, I can't believe it's almost noon.

I never sleep this late.

- Well...

That'll happen when you stay up all night.

- I must say, you have rather impressive stamina.

- Thanks.

And I must say, you have a rather

impressive film collection.

I love the "Living Dead Girl" series.

I grew up watching them, but you've got some

I've never even heard of.

- Yeah, it should be an impressive collection.

She's my mother.

- You're fucking kidding me.

Debbie di Prima is your mom?

The Debbie di Prima?

That's so awesome!

Are you hungry?

I know a great little pizza place not far from here.

I don't know about you, but...

Staying up all night really makes me hungry.

- Yeah, I'm starving, actually.

I'd love to.

Let me freshen up?

- Take your time. I'll be right here.

Things were quiet in my head

of days after that.

Well, quieter anyway.

Maybe it's because my heart

I just could not get

In fact, she was all

We talked, we texted,

But you know what they say.

Old habits die hard.

Especially when those

- Thank you guys so much for helping us move.

- Yeah. We couldn't have done it without you.

I mean, we could've, but it would have been a

huge pain in the ass.

- Well, it was my pleasure.

Happy to help some of Eden's friends.

Besides, I'll pretty much do anything for a beer and a taco.

- You're a cheap date.

- Yeah, but that's why you love me, right?

- So, I love the new place.

I can't wait to see what you guys do with it.

- Oh, my baby's got plans, all right. Don't you?

- Yeah. I might have a few ideas.

- Um, Tommy...

What's wrong? You okay?

- Um...

There's a clown that just came in.

Goddammit, don't look at.

It'll come over here. Please.

- Tommy has a thing with clowns.

He really doesn't like them.

- No, Eden, I fucking hate them.

- All right, just look at me, okay?

Not over there, not at it.

Look at me, all right?

All right? - Okay. I'm sorry.

It's just...

- Hey, can you please go to the next table?

- How about a pretty balloon for a pretty lady?

How about three balloons for pretty ladies?

- You need to leave now, please.

I said leave, clown.

I really don't like clowns,

and I really don't want you here.

- It's okay. Let's just move.

- No way, fuck that.

You need to leave, now!

If you do not fucking leave right fucking now,

I will stab you in the throat with my fucking fork!

- Tommy!

I'm so sorry, ma'am.

It's just a misunderstanding, okay?

All right?

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

- Hold on. I've gotta take this.

Sit tight.

Hello?

Hey, Tommy, it's Eden.

- Oh, hey, you.

I wasn't sure if I was going to hear from you again.

Do you have

- For you? Absolutely, I do.

Look, about the

What was that?

- What?

Nothing.

Look, about that.

Eden, I owe you an apology.

I behaved like a complete dick.

That wasn't fair to you or your friends.

I just really, really have a thing about clowns,

especially ones with red balloons.

It was just too much. I'm sorry.

Can you forgive me?

I think that

So, are you busy?

Do you wanna maybe come over?

- You know,

I just wrapped up my errand.

Be there in 20?

- You're early.

- What can I say? Just couldn't wait to see you.

Look, about the restaurant.

- Tommy, I'm so sorry.

I know you told me you hated clowns,

but I kinda thought you were just exaggerating.

If I would've known that it was gonna bother you so bad,

I would never let her come over to our table.

- I know. It's just...

Most people think I'm joking,

but it's a serious problem. It even has a name.

Coulrophobia. The fear and hatred of clowns.

Lots of people have it.

I just have a really bad case of it.

Sometimes I get panic attacks from it.

Sometimes I...

Well, that's how it happened.

It's like I sort of step outside myself,

and watch everything from afar.

My therapist says it's a disease, not a condition.

- Your therapist?

Are you crazy?

Because you're supposed to tell someone on the first date

if you're crazy.

That's the rule.

And yeah, I've heard of coulrophobia.

I know a thing or two about clowns, believe it or not.

- Christ, don't tell me you're a-

- God. No, no.

I just knew someone who was once.

- Really?

Do tell.

- Well, my dad.

Or the guy who was supposed to be my father, I should say.

He was a clown.

The clown, actually.

His name was Giggles,

but they called him the "Clown King" back in his day.

- Was?

I'm sorry. When did he pass?

No.

The only thing that man ever passed was out,

for most of my life.

He and my mom split up when I was little.

I haven't seen him for years.

- Sounds like you have a good reason to hate clowns too.

- Maybe just the one.

They don't really bother me.

What about you? Do all clowns freak you out?

Or just certain ones?

Ooh, what about the clown marionette from "Poltergeist"?

- Okay...

That one, completely fucking terrifying.

In fact, I think that may have been what

pushed me over the edge when I was a kid.

Well, that and...

And what?

- Nothing.

I mean, there's some other stuff,

but let's save that for another date.

- Come on, you can't just

tease me like that.

Let the skeleton out of the closet.

I promise, I won't laugh.

- I know you won't laugh.

That's kinda what I'm afraid of.

- Hey...

You can tell me, when you're ready.

You can talk to me.

I wanna know all about you.

- I'm afraid of that too.

- Tommy, you can tell me anything.

When you want to, that is.

- I know.

I will, I swear.

It's just, you know how I told you

my parents died when I was a kid?

- Yeah.

Well, what happened to them? If you don't mind me asking.

- I...

Don't really remember.

I mean, I do, but...

It's more like memories of memories,

if that makes any sense.

Some things are still fuzzy.

It's not that they died...

It's how.

- Still no sign of your folks, Tommy?

Well, it's your birthday,

and I'm sure they've got something really special

planned for you today.

They'll be here any minute.

You'll see.

- Move your buns, hun.

- Coming, coming.

- Cleo, come on.

Okay.

- You sure everyone's at the park already?

- Absolutely. They're

just waiting on us to bring the birthday boy.

- All right, take a right. - I'm taking a right here.

Do you see where we're at on the map?

- I think so.

- What's it say?

"Pork? Park?"

Where's the party?

Ah, shit with words.

- Have you figured it out yet?

- Just take a left here.

- Ugh...but he's making a left here.

- Well, just take a left.

- You've made us do four left turns in a row.

We're essentially going in a circle.

- We are not going in a circle.

- Dale, get us here.

Worst drunk ever. Oh, now he's throwing shit at us.

Ignore him, he's drunk.

- Fuck, this motherfucker's taunting us.

I'm ending his ass.

No, calm down.

- Tommy, I had no idea.

I am so, so sorry.

If I would've known, I would've never let that-

- Hey, I know.

I know.

It's just...

It's not something I've ever really talked about.

Or at least, I never have.

Maybe that's a good thing?

- No wonder you're afraid of clowns.

- Eden, I'm not afraid of them.

I hate them.

- Isn't hate the same thing as fear?

- You want to be my therapist?

Come on! It wasn't that scary.

- No, it was, which was awesome.

It was also freezing in there, and you're really warm.

- Oh, excuse me. - I'm sorry.

Dr. Lee.

Uh, Dr. Lee, this is my girlfriend, Eden.

Eden, this is my therapist, Dr. Lee.

It's cool, Doc. Full disclosure.

- So, which movie did you guys see tonight?

- "Family Possessions." It's really creepy if

if you're nto that sort of thing.

- Oh, me? No. I actually

never liked horror movies.

I had a bad experience once when I was a kid.

I'm going to see "A Chance of Snow."

I love the director.

So, um...

well, I have to go inside now,

but it was nice meeting you,

and I'll see you next week, right?

- Sure will, Doc.

- Have a good night.

- Welcome back to

I'm Jack J. Jackson.

Breaking news in the

We've just received

has declared a mistrial

The BHBJ viewers may recall

when one juror jumped

and tried to attack

As a result, all charges of

have been dropped.

Dropped!

Prosecutors are scrambling

to put together new

Klutzo! Jack J Jackson

from "The Real Story with Jack

" Tell me, how does it feel

to be released on a

the heinous nature of the

Are you at all

that one of the jurors

by the description

that they felt the

There you have it. Clowns.

Innocent bystanders,

playing on the childish

You have to decide.

This is Jack J.Jackson

- Clown lives don't matter!

Creeps off the street!

- Clown lives don't matter!

- Creeps off the street!

- Clown lives don't matter!

- Creeps off the street!

- Clown lives don't matter!

- Creeps off the street!

- Clown lives don't matter!

- Creeps off the street!

Clown lives don't matter!

- Creeps off the street!

- Clown lives don't matter!

- Creeps off the street!

- Clown lives don't matter!

- Creeps off the street!

- You fucking monster.

They're just...

You die, clown.

God damn kids.

No one stands up to Klutzo the Clown.

No one!

I swear, the next little bastard I get my hands on,

I'm gonna take it all out on him.

He is gonna get it!

One of these days, they're all gonna get it.

And I'm the one that's gonna give it to 'em.

Oh, I am so gonna give it to 'em!

Well, looks like it's just you and me tonight, handsome.

Oh, oh!

Help me! Help me!

- Help you?

Like you...

Helped all those kids?

Those children?

You sick fuck.

You know what?

Today is your lucky day.

I'd be happy to help you.

But, it's not gonna be easy.

No, no, no.

It's not enough that we face our fears...

You have to destroy them.

And well, since you don't really have a face anymore...

I'm just gonna have to improvise.

Shut the fuck up!

- What the hell happened to his face?

- It gets worse, actually.

- His fucking face is melted off.

How could it possibly get any worse?

- Ask me about his genitals.

- Please, don't make me.

- Just ask.

- What about his genitals?

- We have no idea where they are.

- Jesus. Somebody really fucking hates clowns.

- That's what I'm afraid of.

- What?

- Well, this is the third dead clown in

as many weeks, right?

- I guess. And?

- Doesn't it seem a little-

- You were gonna say funny, weren't you?

- I was gonna say odd.

- Bull fucking shit.

Three, huh?

- Well, technically, the second one was a mime.

But yeah, three.

- And if two is a pattern...

- Then three's a...

- Shit.

- Yeah.

Something tells me this shit ain't over yet.

Maybe we got lucky and it's a pissed off parent?

- Maybe.

Kids?

He got off easy. Fucking monster.

- So the report came back on that strangle vic

from a few weeks ago. The guy who lived there said

his friend used to be a clown.

- A clown? - That's what he said.

Apparently he used to be pretty good too.

He used to do a thing with handkerchiefs.

- A clown.

Hey, wait. I need you

to pull all the unsolved murders and missing persons

for the last two, make it four weeks.

- You got it.

- You think we missed something? - I think we missed them'

cause we didn't know what to look for.

- Where are we heading?

- The one place you go when you want to learn something.

Back to school.

- Good, kid.

Looks real nice.

You guys are a bunch of cutups.

Gentlemen.

Oh.

Detectives, I'm sorry.

How can I help you?

- Detective Mueller, Detective Vasquez.

- You the guy who runs the circus?

- Joey Z, at your service.

Welcome.

What can I do for you?

- We're looking into some recent incidents,

and we need to know if you've had any problems lately.

- Problem, Officers?

- Problems.

Any fights? Anyone flunk out?

Swear revenge? Drugs?

- The only problems here are about

when somebody steals a clown gag.

Come on, what's going on?

It's about the disappearances, isn't it?

Word travels fast around here.

We're a pretty big family.

- What about anyone making threats here?

Or someone who hates clowns, maybe?

Or someone who holds a grudge against you-

- You people?

- I was gonna say you entertainer types, actually.

Now look, if anyone comes to mind, give us a call.

- Hey, Joey. The three o'clock's about to start.

They need those pies.

- A lot of people hate clowns.

I'll call you, if I find anything funny.

- What do you think?

- I think he's scared.

Could see it in his eyes.

If he knew anything, he would've

told us in a heartbeat.

- So the thing is, is it's not really about the prop.

It's about connecting with your audience.

You're performing.

It's not about what you do,

as much as it is about making the audience feel.

You, your presence on the stage.

It's part of the performance.

That's really...

That's really a...

That's really a...

- Janitor says this place should be packed with clowns.

He came in this morning, not a soul.

No students, no Joey Z, nobody.

And my guess is? That's why.

- Tech just pulled this off the HVAC unit.

Whoever hooked this up knew exactly what they were doing.

- Why would he gas and kidnap the entire classroom?

Why not just waste them all and be done with it?

- Maybe it's too quick and easy.

Maybe he wants them to suffer.

- Fourteen, detectives!

That's how many bodies we found in the back of that van,

like some goddamn clown car from hell!

And you mean to tell me we don't have any goddamn leads?

- Well, sir, we're waiting on a report.

- No, Captain. No, we don't.

- You mean with all the cameras in this whole fuckin' town,

nobody has seen anything?

That doesn't make any goddamn sense!

- Captain, nothing about this guy makes any sense.

He's got no M.O.

Hell, we can't even find a print.

- Well, you better find a print.

You better find a lead.

Because the media's getting ready to turn this into a-

- Circus, Captain?

- I was gonna say shit show, Detective.

There are 14 innocent bodies in the back of that van.

Now, I want you to find that bastard

before any more bodies pile up.

You get me?

- Yes, Captain. - Yes, Captain.

- Shut the door.

And tell the Mayor she can suck my dick.

- You're making that call.

What are you thinking? - I'm thinking if we don't

find out who's doing this,

we're gonna wish we were in the back of that van.

- I wonder what that psycho is gonna do next.

- Hey there.

Hungry?

- Yippee-ki-yay, you rubber nose fuck!

- Come on, man!

You don't have do this!

I got a wife!

I got a family, man!

I got kids!

I got a dog, man. I got a dog!

- Dr. Lee? Courtney?

- Eden, right?

- How are you?

- Where's Tommy? Is he okay?

- He's fine. I mean, I think so.

It's just, um...

A couple of things have happened lately with clowns

that have me kind of worried.

- Eden, look, I really can't talk to you

about my sessions with Tommy.

And that would completely betray

any doctor-patient confidentiality.

- No, I know. I'm not asking that.

It's just...

I don't know.

I know I haven't known him that long...

But seeing that side of him, it was like he was-

- Like he was an entirely different person?

Look, normally I don't speak to

a patient's significant other.

- I know, I know.

But he did say full disclosure, right?

So that has to count for something, doesn't it?

- You know, I can tell that you mean a lot to him.

And certainly he means a lot to you.

Why don't you take a walk with me?

So, Eden, how much do you really know

about Tommy's childhood?

- I mean, some, you know?

Just what he's told me.

I know his parents died when he was young.

And he told me about the clown with the red balloons

right before it happened.

I know about the time he spent here.

About his coulrophobia.

- His parents didn't just die...

They were killed by that clown.

- Oh my God.

- I mean, at least that's how Tommy sees it.

It's a horrible accident, I know.

But in Tommy's mind,

it wasn't a person who murdered his parents,

it was that clown.

And it wasn't until about 10 years later

where Tommy's fear and hatred of clowns truly began.

- Angela, I'm home.

Angela?

- Tommy.

Hey, Tommy, this is...

- I know, who he is.

- Look, kid, I-

- You killed my parents, you son of a bitch!

I'm gonna kill you!

- Tommy!

- Look, kid. I've been thinking

for ten years about what to say,

and I'm gonna say it,

- Tommy, just hear him out, please!

- I know it was my fault, but I was driving the van.

But it was that clown. That goddamn clown.

It was him!

He made me do it.

- You said your peace.

I think you should go now, okay?

- You gotta believe me. It was all that damn clown.

You goddamn clown!

Fuckin' asshole.

Police, freeze!

He's got a knife!

He's alive! We got a live one!

Get an EMT in here, now!

- Oh my God.

I had no idea.

He was just a little boy.

No wonder he can't stand clowns.

- Well, it's not just that, Eden.

I mean, that night in the theater,

he suffered a mental breakdown.

You know? And when someone experiences that kind of trauma,

it could completely fracture their psyche for years.

- So what are you saying, exactly?

- What I'm saying is that he's demonized them

to the point where he doesn't see a person,

he sees a monster.

And not in the literal sense,

and certainly not any longer.

But if you want him to be happy,

you can no longer have him encounter clowns at all.

- Okay, so what if...

There were someone that used to be a clown

that isn't anymore?

Do you think that would still count?

Like somebody he could sit down with and talk to.

Someone that could show him that clowns are just normal,

fucked up people like the rest of us, you know?

Not monsters.

- I think that's a really bad idea.

Eden, you know, we can't predict how Tommy will react.

And I know you wanna help him, but I advise you not to.

And you just don't know what could happen, unfortunately,

with these circumstances, okay?

- Okay.

I understand.

Hey, Mom.

Hey, what are you up to?

Do you wanna maybe grab dinner tonight?

Okay. Uh huh.

Yeah, I'll see you there around seven.

Sound good?

All right, thanks. Bye.

- Excuse me.

Terribly sorry, but aren't you Debbie di Prima.

- It's Deborah, darling.

And yes, I am.

- I hate to bother you...

Could I trouble you for an autograph?

I'm a really big fan of yours.

- Oh, but of course.

Anything for a fan.

- You are so amazing.

Isn't she something?

- Yes, she is.

- Here.

- Thank you so much, Deborah.

Ciao.

- Sorry about that, dear.

Now, where were we?

- Ah, yes, Tommy.

- Well...

It's about Malcolm, my father.

I need to find him.

- Eden!

Why would you want to open that can of tequila worms?

You know he'll never change!

He is the same, selfish, delusional drunk

he has always been.

- Well, you married him, so what's that say about you?

- Right.

It says I was a fool.

A fool for a silver tongued devil with golden words.

And those eyes.

Oh god, those eyes.

So you were in love then?

- For a very short while, yes.

- So, you know how I feel?

I'd do anything for Tommy,

even if it means making peace with...

Malcolm.

- Well, so tell me, what is Tommy's issue?

- Well, he's afraid of clowns.

Terrified, actually.

And I thought that-

- Wait, you thought that sitting him down

across the table from his worst nightmare was a good idea?

- I don't know.

I just thought, maybe if he could talk to somebody

who used to be a clown,

he could see that they're just people

under all that makeup and wigs and big shoes.

- Oh, I don't know, Eden.

It does not sound like a good idea.

- That's what his therapist said.

-Oh! So his therapist and

your mother both agree,

and you still won't listen?

- Would you have listened to your mom when you were in love?

- Ah, you're in love now, are you, darling?

And you think your father can actually help with this issue?

- Well, I don't think he could make things any worse.

- It's Malcolm Fossor, darling.

That man can always make things worse.

Oh...

- Please.

Please, Mom.

- It's that important to you then?

- He's that important to me.

- I...

I may know where your father is.

- Mom. Mom?

- Oh, come now, darling.

I spent a small part of my life loving that man,

and the rest of it hating him.

You really think I wouldn't keep tabs

on his whereabouts?

- You do know where he is then.

- Even when that man dies, I want to be the first to know.

Now look, I'll think about it, okay?

All right.

Now, can we please order something to eat?

I am starving.

- Bastian, what are you doing?

- Listen, we need to talk.

Okay, I know how you feel about me,

but it's not about me, it's about your boyfriend.

- Oh, God, Bastian. Let it go.

You don't think I know you've been following us?

Following him?

- Okay, just forget about all of it.

Just forget all of it.

Listen, how well do you know him?

Like, actually know him.

You see, I've been doing some digging.

- You've been doing some digging?

Bastian, you're not a reporter!

You're not even a journalist.

You're an IT guy who writes a conspiracy theory blog.

That's it.

- Right. Just listen to me. Okay.

Okay.

I may have peeked at some of your emails.

- You hacked my emails?

- Peeked at, right?

Peeked, not hacked.

And all I'm saying is,

you don't really know who this guy is.

Or well, what this guy is.

Oh, who's that? Is that him?

- That's none of your business.

What is your problem with Tommy?

- My problem is,

is when he's around, certain people die.

Certain clown people.

And it's been happening all around him,

everywhere he's been for the past couple of years.

And no one's ever put it together, except for me.

- What are you saying?

- What I'm saying is, he's a serial killer.

Well, like a clown serial killer.

And when he's around, people die!

And I have proof.

- You have proof?

Then show me.

- Well, I don't have it here, it's back in my apartment.

- Oh, God, Bastian.

I thought you had a thing for me,

but I thought it was just, you know, maybe a little crush.

Now I see that you're really sick?

- Sick?

No, no, not me.

It's him, it's Tommy. He's the one who's sick.

- I think you better go now, Bastian.

- Right.

Hello?

- Malcolm? - Yup, that's me.

- Malcolm Fossor?

Who's that, love?

- It's Eden.

Uh, Steven?

Sorry, I don't know

- Eden.

Di Prima, your daughter.

Edie,

Is that you?

Don't talk, Malcolm. Just listen.

Look, I've never asked

Until now.

- Otis, my friend. Exceptional driving.

You got me here safe and sound.

Well done, sir.

Well done.

Home sweet home.

- Look, I know why I'm so nervous,

but are you sure you're okay?

- I'm sorry.

Just having a hard time turning my brain off.

- Meeting my dad was too big of a step.

- That and the whole clown thing.

Other than that, I'm peachy.

- Listen...

Just don't think about him, okay?

Think about me.

- That, I can do.

- Here she is. My little girl.

Let your dear old dad take a look at you.

- You're early.

You're never early.

- Well, love, people can change.

Especially when they've been away so very long.

- And sometimes the more they change,

the more they stay the same.

- Nonsense.

This is just to take the edge off.

So who's this handsome young man you've brought to meet me?

- Tommy.

Tommy dos Santos.

It's a pleasure to meet you, sir.

Eden's told me a lot about you.

- I'll bet she has.

Well then!

I think we should have drinks all around.

- Another glass of Prosecco, sir?

- Please. And leave the bottle, dear.

So Tommy, I believe you have the hots for my daughter.

- I'm sorry, sir?

Oh, yes, sir.

- It's all right. Settle down, young man.

I mean, this is not the Army, for fuck's sake.

You have no need to call me "sir."

- Sorry, sir. Malcolm.

Force of habit.

- Sir Malcolm.

Sir Malcolm.

You know, I like the way that sounds.

- I think so too.

Now, if you can play nice for a couple of minutes,

I'm gonna use the restroom.

Will you excuse me?

- So, Tommy...

- So...

Sir Malcolm.

- You know who I am, of course.

And you know what I've been, right?

- I know what you are.

You're her father.

Or at least, that's what you're supposed to be.

Then again, you were never really that much of a man,

were you, Sir Malcolm?

You were always more of a monster, weren't you?

Clown.

It's okay.

So was I.

A monster shaped like a man.

But then, something happened to me.

She happened to me.

And then I didn't just feel something,

I felt everything.

- Wow, what'd I miss out on?

- Oh, I've just been getting to know your...

Your beau.

So, Tommy...

I believe that you're afraid of clowns, is that right?

Terrified.

- Well, I never said terrified,

I said Tommy has coulrophobia, which is-

- I know.

I know exactly what it is.

I virtually coined the phrase back in the day.

But what I've seen on the news,

somebody really hates clowns.

Now...

That wouldn't be you, would it, sport?

- Tommy might be afraid of clowns,

but he's not some psycho killer.

- Well, let's have a toast to

friends and to family.

What's the matter, love?

- Well, Malcolm.

- Dad.

- Well, Mal...

The thing about dads is that they're usually around

every once in a while.

You crawled into the bottom of a bottle

and you never came out.

- Why am I here, Edie?

What do you want from me?

Huh?

Do you want my blessing?

Do you want me to apologize?

Do you want money?

What is it? What do you want from me?

- I don't need your anything.

I thought we could have a conversation.

I thought you could help.

But I forgot, you just make things worse.

- No, love.

I don't make things worse.

They just get that way all by themselves.

- No wonder Mom left you.

No wonder everyone leaves you.

I'm very sorry that I ever looked for you.

- Well, that was an interesting reunion.

If I was you, I'd get your ass into gear

and go after her, mate.

- You know...

- For a clown named Giggles,

you're not very funny.

- You know...

For a monster shaped like a man,

you're not very scary.

Oh, one last thing, boy.

When you see her,

tell her that I'm staying at the Goodnight Inn,

out by the interstate.

Room 59.

And why would I tell her that?

- Because she's gonna come and look for me

when she cools down.

She always does.

- I don't think so.

- Believe me.

I know my little girl.

- Oh, Tommy dos Santos, where we going this evening?

Yeah.

Hop into your stupid little car, you poo-faced git.

Right, Eden. You want proof

your boyfriend's a fucking psycho?

I'll get you proof.

- "Ah. I always thought that

clowns were supposed to be funny."

Laugh.

Laugh, clown.

Laugh, clown!

You came back.

I knew you would.

Sweetie, I'm so sorry for what I said.

I didn't mean any of the...

You!

What the bloody hell was that for?

Where the fuck is Edie?

- Shut the fuck up, clown.

- Why don't you just run along home, little boy?

And maybe I'll forget that this ever happened, huh?

- All she ever wanted was a father.

And all she ever got was you...

A joke.

- You...

Don't know shit about me, friend.

- I'm not your friend.

You know what I am.

I'm the final curtain.

Bastard!

- Stay away from me, you prat!

- Look, I don't know what you think you saw.

- I saw you kill that man.

That clown man.

And now I've got the proof.

And she'll have to listen to me.

And that's not it, man. I know all about you.

I've been doing my fuckin' homework. I know you, mate.

And I'm gonna tell everybody.

Eden included.

- I just did the world a favor.

I just did everybody a favor, especially Eden!

- Is this about your parents? What happened to them?

I read the file, man.

And the driver said over and over that clown made it happen.

But the cops could never find him.

- You don't get to talk about my parents!

- No, no, no!

It's "There are no frowns in Clown Town."

Not, "There aren't any frowns in Clown Town."

How many goddamn times do I have to tell you the difference?

- Well, you keep rewriting the script!

It makes it hard to learn the words

if you keep changing them.

Just give us a break, all right?

- Oh, you need a break, Bozo?

Tell you what, you have five minutes to learn these lines,

or I find myself a new lead clown.

I need a clove.

Amateurs!

- Jesus Christ, he is such a fucking diva!

I mean, it's not our fault he can't carry a tone

to save his life.

- Be quiet, he'll hear you.

- Oh, fuck him! Let him fire me!

- Yeah, really. The song sucks anyway!

- Hey man, how'd you get in here?

- Oh my God, kid!

You all right?

- Clowns. Fucking clowns.

- Hey, what'd you just say, man?

Hey, I might be funny, bitch!

But I could fuck you up something fierce!

- You killed my parents.

You killed my parents!

You!

- Oh my God, kid?

What did you do?

What did you do?

You need to get outta here.

You need to get outta here, ow.

- They killed my parents.

- You gotta go. - I remember that.

- Oh my God.

- They had to die.

- Kid, the cops are gonna be here any minute.

You need to get outta here, okay?

- How did you find me?

- I followed you.

I tried to stop you from doing something stupid,

and I screwed that up too.

Now, you need to go.

I can go away, rot in jail,

but you still got a life ahead of you.

You should go enjoy that.

- Why?

- I can't make it right, but at least can make us even.

Why?

- We're even, motherfucker.

Police, freeze!

He's got a knife!

He's alive! We got a live one!

Get an EMT in here, now!

- It's just one flight of stairs.

- Technically it's three flights, smart-ass.

- Detectives.

We just found this upstairs.

- Ooh.

It's even unlocked.

Look at the last few photos he took.

- Now who do you suppose this is?

You think this is our clown killer?

- I don't think we could get that lucky.

- Time stamped on his pictures, 10:13.

Which is right around the time of death the coroner gave us.

What if this guy did this?

- You think our dead guy knows the killer?

Well, knew, I guess.

- I think he knew something, and that's why he's dead.

Come on, let's go find out where he lives.

- You know, it's a shame about that boy.

I really did like him.

You guys let me know if you need something extra, okay?

- U, I think you better come check this out.

What do you think?

- I think we need to find out just who the hell

this Tommy dos Santos is, that's what.

- Eden.

I wasn't expecting...

Eden, what's wrong?

What is it?

- You know, I just couldn't let it go.

How smug he was, how mean he was to you.

So I found out where he was staying.

It's not hard.

Cheap motels by the bus station.

I had to talk to him, you know?

Just really let him have it.

- Hey, what happened?

- Well, I went to his room, but it was empty,

and the manager said that he never saw him check out,

so I just don't...

- Hey, come.

- Why would he just leave like that?

- Well, you did make it sound pretty final

when you left dinner the other night.

- We fight. We always fight.

Families do that, you know?

Oh God, Tommy, I'm sorry.

I wasn't thinking.

- It's okay. It's okay.

Eden, I'm sure he's fine.

You said it yourself, he likes to pull disappearing acts.

Yeah?

I'm sure this is just the latest show.

All the world's a stage to a clown, right?

Come away with me.

- What?

Where?

- Anywhere you want.

We'll sneak off someplace sunny and tropical

for a few weeks.

Or you know, forever.

- Yeah, but what about-

- What about what?

What about work?

Take a vacation, call in sick.

Hell, quit.

- Tommy, I can't just quit.

- Yes, you can.

Eden....

I have more than enough money to take care of us.

My aunt made sure of that.

So run away with me.

Eden...

I love you,

and I think you love me.

And for me, that's enough.

- Tommy, I do.

I do love you.

- So let's go away together.

We don't have to stay gone,

but I wanna show you the world

that's out there beyond this city.

- Okay.

Let's do it. - Yeah?

Yeah.

But my stuff.

- We'll get my stuff here,

and then we'll go to your place to get your stuff,

and then it's off to the airport.

- Where are we gonna go?

- I have no idea.

We'll just know when we get there.

- You are crazy, Tommy dos Santos.

You know that, right?

- Not anymore, I'm not.

In fact, I don't think I've ever felt better.

I'm tired of this life.

I wanna start a new one.

One with you.

Passports.

We might need passports.

Would you grab mine?

It's in the middle drawer of that dresser.

The drawer on the right, not the one on the...

The one on the left.

Eden, I can explain.

- Tommy, where did you get this?

Where?

- It's not what you think.

- Goddammit, Tommy, just tell me.

This is my father's necklace.

I know that because I gave it to him when I was little.

I had no idea he still had it. But how did you...

Oh, God.

It's you, isn't it?

The one they've been talking about on the news?

The Clown Killer?

Eden, just calm down.

- Calm down?

You killed all those people!

- But they weren't people.

Why can't you see that?

- Tommy, you killed my father, didn't you?

- So now he's your father?

- Don't you dare.

- Eden, I didn't murder your father...

I killed a monster.

Don't you see that?

They're all monsters.

- Oh, God. He knew.

- What are you talking about?

- Bastian. He knew.

I didn't listen.

- You don't have to worry about him anymore,

he won't be bothering us.

- Oh, God. What did you do?

He's not a clown.

- He was an accident, I swear.

I swear.

I would never, ever kill a person.

- And what about my father, huh?

He was a person too!

- You know what he was.

- Oh, God.

And what about this person?

What about this person?

What about all those people, you psycho son of a bitch!

- I am not crazy!

And they were not people.

They weren't even human, they were monsters!

Eden, they're all monsters!

- I only see one monster right now.

- Eden, I don't want to hurt you.

- You get away from me.

- Eden, you just don't understand.

Please, just put the knife down, sweetie, okay?

- Don't call me that.

You killed those people.

You killed all of those people!

- No!

Stop.

Stop, Eden!

- Now who looks like a clown, huh?

- What...

Did you do to me?

- You stay right here.

If our guy runs, this is his only way out.

- Copy that.

- I don't know. I got a funny feeling about this one.

- Really. Really?

- You're just mad 'cause I thought of it first.

All right, let's go.

- Freeze!

- Try to let him get to you, kid.

You just gotta drown out the noise.

That's all it is. Just white noise.

Ah, Dr. Lee.

This is Donnie, our new guard staff.

- Hey, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

- After you, Doc. - Thank you.

- It's a hell of a first day you, kid.

This one still gives me the creeps,

and it's been months now.

- Gives you the creeps?

Come on. Who is that?

Oh, God!

What the hell was that?

- It's your hell of a first day, man,

- You got that right.

Listen, come on. Who is it?

- You remember the Clown Killer?

- No, really?

Bullshit.

Really?

- Oh, yeah.

- What the hell did I sign up for?

I hear they're still finding bodies.

- 42 and counting so far.

- How can somebody decide to do something so horrible

to something so funny?

- I don't think clowns are funny,

but when you lose a parent like that, you're bound to snap.

Still though...

Hear she had complete mental breakdown

when she found out that her boyfriend

killed all those people, killed her own father even.

They say she just lost it.

And I hear when the cops showed up,

she even had tried to attack them.

- And now?

- And now all she sees are clowns.

- You mean?

- Yep.

Any luck today, Doc?

- Not this time, gentlemen.

But we'll keep trying,

and maybe someday she'll come around again.

Now I know

but I assure you, I'm not

I'm just sick.

And you know what they say...

Laughter is the best medicine.

But that's the thing

It doesn't just

It starts off as a giggle,

and it gets stronger

Until it explodes.

It's a disease that spreads

And laughter, well,

it can never die.

But Giggles sure did.

And so can you.