Original subtitles

HORN HONKS

How many people are coming?

I thought we were meant to be keeping it small.

Well, it's just five of us.

But it feels like more of an event this way.

And there's more room for booze in the back.

So what, Georgia and Nina, and... Paul.

You asked Paul?

He's going to be your best man, isn't he? Course I asked him.

He's coming all the way from Glasgow? I dunno.

He said he'd be here, so presumably. Aww!

Oh, there's Zack and Fola.

Oh, yeah no, I saw Zack earlier. His dad died.

SHE WHISPERS: My God. Yeah.

So, they probably want some space.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God, Zack.

So, I hear you guys are getting married. Congrats.

Yeah. We're just off on our sten do now.

Your...? Stag and hen.

Oh. Nice.

We should...we should go.

God. I mean, fucking hell. Can you imagine?

Like if my mum just dropped dead like that,

I wouldn't be able to stand up.

Hey! Hi! Heya!

Oh, we are travelling in style, damn!

Yeah. We're just waiting on Paul now.

What, your old mate, Paul?

He's going to be Josh's best man, he's coming down from Glasgow. Cool.

Esther, which Paul did you invite? What do you mean?

Paul, my best mate? Or Paul, the dipshit intern I work with?

I dunno. Whichever one's down as "Paul" in your contacts.

What, you went through my phone? Esther, don't do it!

I'm joking.

Look, if I got the wrong one, then it's your fault for not

labelling your contacts better, babe.

Congratulations on the whole wedding shit!

Hey, Paul! Hey, mate. Yay. Yes!

Ace you could make it. Right. Everyone climb aboard.

N...

SHE CHUCKLES

All right. Where you sitting, Josh?

Right, just find any seat.

I'll probably...

No, you can sit there.

I can now reveal that,

for the great Josh and Esther stag-hen party,

we are going to... THEY CHEER

..East India Dock Basin Nature Reserve!

What's that? We're going where?

Josh, it's where you and me first snogged.

Ohh! On the geography field trip.

Oh, no way! I did geography for A-Level.

And it's where Josh first got a finger in.

Ugh, Esther! Awesome.

So, how do you know Josh, Paul? We work together.

Well, he works for me. And he works for my dad.

No...no! That is not actually true.

THEY LAUGH Hello. Settle down!

It's your own time you're wasting.

What?

Fuck! OK.

Sten do! THEY CHEER

Come and sit on the sofa.

I need to do something.

I'm not in the mood to do nothing.

I've got an idea. Uh-huh?

Do you want to go and get drunk with me?

Yeah...

Yeah, I think I do.

Can't believe you're getting married, man.

Like, no-one else I know is married.

Well, that's cos you're 20, Paul. Still, man. It's big.

I've never been invited to a wedding before.

You're not invited to the wedding. Oh, he's only kidding!

Course you're invited.

HE LAUGHS You joker! You're so funny. Yeah.

While it's just you and me, there was something that I, erm,

I wanted to ask you about, by the way.

Would you be my maid of honour?

Erm...

Or chief bridesmaid, or whatever.

It would just make sense, cos obviously, you're Josh's sister,

but we're mates in our own right now, aren't we?

I don't see much of the old school lot any more.

I mean, even if I did - not that you're second choice or anything.

No, I...

I'm very touched, Est. I'd love to.

Well, you don't seem that excited.

I'm just surprised.

I thought you didn't really want to get married.

Yeah, I didn't. Now I do.

OK. Cool...Cool.

Sten do! LIGHT CHEERING

I really don't understand how you do Geography here.

It's a nature reserve. Where is the nature?

It's everywhere.

There's...there's fish, and there's...birds.

It looks like somewhere Luther would find a dead body.

Georgia told me. About Fola.

Oh, my God, I specifically told her not to.

I can't believe you lied to me. I can't believe you lied to Esther.

It's done. It's over. Yeah, that's what you said last time.

And now you're happily full steam ahead into married life

without a care... You're always telling me how I'm feeling,

never asking me how I'm feeling.

Have you told everyone that needs to know?

Yeah.

Apparently I now owe a bookie in Staten Island $3,000, so...

SHE CHUCKLES

You should say something. About him.

It's a wake, isn't it?

Kind of.

You should do a eulogy. Yeah.

Up.

Up, up, up, up, up, up. Thank you.

There you go.

Come on.

So, Tim.

My dad.

He loved me in his...way.

And I guess a lot of people can't say that about their dads.

And I loved him in my way.

Oh, I didn't like him.

No, he was an asshole.

I always wondered how I'd feel when this day would come.

I guess I feel grateful.

And I feel...free.

So, here's to you, old man.

Safe travels.

Esther, I love you like a sister, I really do.

And, just so you know, if Nina and Josh get too much,

we could always fake our own deaths and start a new life in Mexico!

THEY LAUGH

Cheers! ALL: Cheers!

All right, Paul. Everyone's done one except you.

No, Paul doesn't need to do one. He only met you four hours ago.

I've got something to say. Yes. Go on, Paul.

So, yeah, I don't really know that many married people.

But I feel really honoured to be invited to this,

and to the wedding, and Josh is cool,

and Esther seems really cool.

It's made me think of marriage in a different way.

Like, I never thought I wanted to do it, but seeing you two together,

and how cool you are, like, I know I want to be in a

relationship like that when I'm 40.

I'm 28.

You've been together for so long, it sounds like,

but it doesn't seem like you're bored of each other.

Like, you evolve and change.

You learn how to send each other dick pics and stuff! Yes, Josh!

Josh has never sent me a dick pic.

Yeah, never sent Esther a dick pic, Paul.

So, I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, yeah...maybe I was thinking of someone else.

Yeah, I think you were.

What's he talking about?

Josh?

Give me your phone.

NERVOUS CHUCKLING

No.

Give me your phone. Well, no, my battery's about to die.

Don't do this to her.

Well, what the fuck does that mean?

What the fuck is going on?

Josh? Are you cheating on me? Esther, babe...

Don't "babe" me, you fucking arsehole. Esther...

Don't say my name! Whoa, whoa! HE SCREAMS

Oh, shit! Josh!

HE LAUGHS Fucking hell!