Original subtitles

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons or organizations is purely coincidental.

Dr. Sakura's Consultations Go to the Holy Land!

"Hello, Sakura."

"You are young, but sound preachy..."

Blah, blah...

"I mean your advice is meaningful and it helps a lot."

"Anyway I have rented videos, but I'm afraid to return them..."

"...since they will slap me with a huge late fee."

"Please scold me... just kidding."

"Rainbow Bandana, 30 years old"

Idiot!

You fool! Hurry up and return them!

"Hello, Sakura."

"School is boring, don't you think?"

"Is it impossible to have a school life like the ones shown in anime or TV dramas?"

"I heard you're a high school student too, but do you enjoy going to school?"

"Dream Hunter, 25 years old."

What the heck?

This person again?

Idiot!

You weakling! You wouldn't have any time to think about...

...things like that if you're being productive with your life!

I'm a member of the student council and...

...busy preparing for the school festival right now,

but I still enjoy school life. So you hang in there too.

These messages are just endless.

There are so many losers in life.

It gets me so excited!

Now, on to the next loser...

She's a loser, too...

Good luck to you too. Idiot!! "Good luck to you too. Idiot!!" huh?

Sakura.

It's overflowing, this feeling Afurete yuku no wa kono kimochi

Ah My Buddha!!!

Down at the beach, feelin' so good Namiuchigiwa de feelin' so good

l invite you over and make a surreal pose Kimi wo sasotte shuuru na poozu

Hey, gently take my hand Hora sotto te wo tsunaide

You're the kind of guy who's cool... Kimi wa nanimo iwazu ni

...without saying a word Kuuru na ko

Like a cinemascope that's a little warped... Chotto magatta shinemasukoopu

...during the prologue of the story Monogatari no puroroogu ni

Call out my name with a sweet voice, Namae wo yonde amaeta koe de

And laugh like you always do Itsumono you ni waratte

Go!! lke!!

It's overflowing, this feeling Afurete yuku no wa kono kimochi

Words can't begin to express it Kotoba ja tenioenakute

I gently touch your back Sotto senaka e

I think now is "the right time" Ima "sonotoki" datte sou omou

It's balanced like the swing of a pendulum Furiko saiku no baransu

And now I'm forgetting it, this feeling Wasureteyuku no mo kono kimochi

Ah, ah...

Ah, ah...

Ah, ah...

Don't Cosplay!!

Fried Noodles Kameya

Wow, you're pretty good, Chitose.

You're good at doing such weird things.

What did you say?

I'm complimenting you.

Doesn't sound like it!

Keep your marital quarrels at home.

It's not like that!

You two make a perfect pair.

Well? How's everything?

Sakura...

Good job, everyone.

Looks like you're having lots of fun.

It's like a one-person festival...

Well, this is one of the jobs of the student council.

I'm busy checking the food provided by each class.

That's right! You're the vice president, right?

So, where's the food from your class?

Ta-da!

Special from 1-B! Jumbo fried noodles!

Fried noodles is what a school festival is all about!

The smell of the sauce rising from the grill is amazing!

You said jumbo size, but this is a small portion.

That was quick!

Your stomach is just outrageous.

Well, you're first-year students, so I wish you luck.

Especially since this is a food stand.

What do you mean?

You see, the food stands are very important to this school festival.

Lady Jyotoku!

Call me "Vice Principal" when I'm here at school!

Yes, Vice Principal. Yes, Vice Principal.

You know that our sect is involved in managing...

...East Tousen High School, right?

Long ago, at the foot of our temple,

priests provided food to the poor just before winter came.

That good deed has since become an annual event.

As a result, it has become important to provide food...

...at this school festival.

But unlike the past, people buy our food.

We're not really doing a good deed.

But the food stand that sells the most is honored at the end for their hard work.

What's so good about getting an award?

Yeah...

The prize is a meal coupon for a year.

We'll do it!

So, we just have to sell the most food, right?

Yeah!

That's impossible.

According to the student council's data...

...no first-year class has ever won before.

Besides...

Rice Dumplings

Rice Dumplings You won't be able to win without beating me and class 2-C!

Rice Dumplings

2-C, Gettoan. Pleased to meet you!

This is interesting!

You're gonna see that we're not like any of those newbies!

You're not good enough to talk to us like that!

Class 1-B vs. Class 2-C Who can sell the most!

Wha, wha, wha, what the hell is that?

It's our costumes for the food stand.

Huh?

Yuko suggested that we should get a male's opinion...

...and see which costumes they like.

Haruka, you're not even part of this!

We're just helping out!

Hey, say something!

We need some feedback!

Well... I...

What is it? Tell me how you feel?

Well... You see...

Have some confidence!

Your spiritual powers are very sensitive to anything sexual.

Now, choose!

No, just awaken!

It's pointless If we can't attract any customers!

Flat

There's nothing...

You plainly expressed your dissatisfaction! Bastard!

Is he dead?

Probably.

Hey, Yuko...

Now, choose! Show some confidence and choose!

Ridiculous...

East Tousen High School 118th School Festival

Welcome!

How about some delicious fried noodles?

Always fresh, and extra large portions!

Hot!

This takes more stamina than I imagined.

Hey, your hands aren't moving!

Ikkou!

I need five packs for takeout.

R-right...

We're selling really well.

Maybe lkkou picked the right costumes for us after all.

Yeah...

Appetite and sexual desire.

People just can't say no to food and sex.

Hey! Stop relaxing and make some more!

Don't be ridiculous!

We're all busy cooking!

You're the only guy who can cook around here.

So do a good job!

Chitose! We got more meat!

Coming!

If you're wandering around in front of me...

...dressed like that, it's very distracting...

I mean, I kind of like it...

What?

Oh...

Nothing.

Sa... Sa... Sakura?

Attracting customers with your costumes.

It was a nice try, but you still need to try harder.

Well, what are you supposed to be? A stripper at some filthy bar?

You just don't get it.

You'll know which costume is better if you take a look at our food stand!

2-C Rice Dumplings Gettoan Can I get 10 rice dumplings?

2-C Rice Dumplings Gettoan

2-C Rice Dumplings Gettoan Thank you. That'll be 1,000 yen!

Thank you. That'll be 1,000 yen!

Ah, I'm hungry. Thank you. That'll be 1,000 yen!

They're doing really well too.

But our costumes are better...

You think so?

What?

Looks like you noticed.

It's a bunny-girl costume from the front,

but from the back, it looks like you're just wearing a happi coat.

It looks very erotic!

And we increase our erotic appeal by not wearing tights!

On top of that...

T-back?

Plus, we're attracting customers with great impact!

So we get many male students!

Also, the happi coat outfit is somewhat nostalgic,

so their parents are also affected by it as well!

T-Temporizing!

Temporizing

Customers will be too full to eat your fried noodles in the afternoon.

Looks like class 2-C is the winner for this competition.

Sakura Sugai, the brains of Saienji. She's a fearful opponent!

Actually, she should use her brain for something else.

Her ass is exposed!

Whether it's working at the temple or having fun...

...my policy is to always do my best.

Yes!

I'm glad I decided to come today!

What do you think you're doing?

Um...

You're Sakura, right?

Um, that's right.

I'm Dream Hunter.

Dream?

25 years old Dream Hunter

I always look at your website...

You know, Dr. Sakura's...

Quiet! You know, Dr. Sakura's...

Who's that? You know him, Sakura?

No, I don't know him at all...

I heard something about a hunter?

Maybe he's her boyfriend?

He said website...

I-It's nothing!

Okay, let's go!

I've never seen Sakura act so hastily before.

Who do you think you are?

I'm Dream Hunter.

Stop saying that embarrassing user name!

You're the one from my website?

I'm Dream Hunter.

What is it that you want?

Depending on your request, I may have to destroy all evidence...

I wanted to meet Dr. Sakura.

That's it! How did you know where to find me?

You said you're busy with the student council.

You found where I was with that bit of information?

I have to say it was difficult, but it was worth it.

How foolish of me...

If other people find out about this...

You're keeping that website a secret?

Shut up!

There's no reason to keep it a secret.

Be quiet!

You have the best website in the world.

That's enough, you loser!

Who the hell do you think you are?

To tell you the truth, I'm...

A ghost?

Yes. I'm embarrassed to admit this.

Come to think of it, I don't feel any life energy out of you.

People used to tell me that when I was alive too.

I can't believe I didn't notice that...

I guess you were too excited.

And whose fault is that?

And you're telling me that a ghost is visiting my website?

Yes.

I have to thank you for providing me with good advice every single time.

Advice?

All you ever talk about are TV dramas and anime.

Maybe you don't have any friends.

And I died from tormenting myself with those thoughts.

That's it?

Yes, that's how I died.

It's hilarious, isn't it?

I can't believe I was giving life lessons to a ghost.

Even though I'm dead, life starts now!

What are you saying?

I'll listen to what you have to say, but you better rest in peace!

Well, you see...

I can't hear them well, but I didn't know Sakura was involved in such a thing.

Fierce battle.

And how are things?

Huh?

Oh, nothing. I was just passing by!

Crawling on the ground and passing by?

A voyeur.

It's not like that.

Tears from the hardest heart...

Jeez!

Three hot dogs and a large coke!

So, if you have fun at the school festival, then you'll be able to rest in peace?

Yes, probably.

What do you mean, "probably"?

Well, this is the first time I've died, so...

You're right about that.

Fun, youthful activities that I couldn't experience...

Falling in love with a girl or having fun times with a rival.

Those things only happen in adolescent manga.

My childhood friend would be like a younger sister...

...and my homeroom teacher is simple minded with glasses...

That's just cute.

That's why you lost faith after seeing real school life...

Exactly! You're really good, Dr. Sakura.

I can't believe I'm stuck with such a weird ghost...

Your boyfriend isn't here?

I don't have a boyfriend!

Can I be a candidate?

What?

Just kidding! Did you really take it seriously?

I'm glad I don't have a body...

You weren't that loose when you were alive, right?

Oh, you can tell? You can see through me.

If you were like that from the beginning, you probably wouldn't have killed yourself.

Yes, I think so too.

And you will rest in peace after that?

Yes...

Hey, how long have you been dead?

I died right before I started looking at your website.

I try not to be inquisitive about other people's lives...

You're right about what you said.

I was a serious person when I was alive. I was tormented since life was rough.

I lost the strength to face reality. Somehow I killed myself.

That's not a good reason.

Really?

I'd lived many years without any excitement.

I thought, "Isn't it the same as being dead?"

Culture Club's Drama Presentation The Last Samurai

Culture Club's Drama Presentation The Last Samurai Morbid ideas!

It's not that nothing ever happened. You just didn't try to do anything!

You're right. It's not that nothing ever happened. You just didn't try to do anything!

But you can't cry over spilt milk.

Do not use fire But you can't cry over spilt milk.

Do not use fire

Do not use fire And how do you feel, being a ghost?

Curry-eating Contest!! And how do you feel, being a ghost?

Curry-eating Contest!! Well, I feel carefree now...

Well, I feel carefree now...

I'm sure you do.

Finished eating I'm sure you do.

I'm sure you do.

Now that I'm feeling carefree, I realized that life is really interesting.

It's too late for regrets.

But I was able to meet you because I died.

Life and death are the same. They're not that different after all.

Just rest in peace!

Sakura. You don't have to encourage me like that.

We've only just met, so stop acting overly friendly!

But...

...I've always liked you.

What?

I'm your biggest fan.

Wh-what are you saying? Let's move on to the next activity.

Haunted House

Haunted House Well? Are you satisfied?

Well? Are you satisfied?

Hmm...

What? Am I not guiding you well enough?

It's just fun...

Theater Entrance

Theater Entrance That's fine.

It's best to go out peacefully.

I felt that I wanted to spend more time with you.

You should've said things like that when you were alive.

Like, to someone else besides me.

I guess...

...it was wrong for me to die.

Now you understand.

But when I was alive, I couldn't even talk to people like this.

Maybe it depends on how you feel.

Well, life isn't easy.

Those teachings at the temple were right about that.

But even with that, I like to have fun and...

Hey! The hero is defeated!

What?

How come the hero is defeated?

That's the main character?

Anyway, I feel that I should enjoy life, even with all the hardships.

You sound just like Dr. Sakura.

Il am! I'm Dr. Sakura!

I wish I had received your consultation before I died.

The End I wish I had received your consultation before I died.

I wish I had received your consultation before I died.

I don't like that kind of troublesome talk.

I just enjoy socializing with losers from time to time.

That's a terrible hobby.

That's why I keep it a secret.

What? Look at the time!

How are the sales?

Oh, what happened to your boyfriend?

It's not like that at all!

Never mind that.

Right, the food stand. We're not doing bad.

Right, but we can't let our guard down.

You're right.

Other food stands are doing pretty well too.

Chitose's place also started offering a new service.

What?

Open wide! Say "Aaah."

Say "Aaah."

Say "Aaah."

Indecent

H-How indecent...

They're doing a real good job.

Looks like they can work at a bar.

We can't lose to those amateurs!

Yeah, but...

We can't just get by like this!

We need a plan that can definitely capture people's hearts...

I've got one, Doctor.

Oh, you're still here?

Oh, my... Is he your boyfriend?

No!

If the happi coat bunny outfit isn't good enough,

then you should just get naked.

Die! Hurry up and die! Rest in peace!

Kidding! I'm just kidding! Die! Hurry up and die! Rest in peace!

Please listen to what I have to say. Die! Hurry up and die! Rest in peace!

Rice Dumplings Welcome! Would you like some rice dumplings?

Welcome! Would you like some rice dumplings?

What's going on here?

Love fortunes that work!

Love fortunes that work! What?

Wow! She's really right!

Don't worry. The one you seek is just around the corner.

You just haven't realized it...

There is a person out there that definitely finds you attractive.

No way! Yay!

Your lucky color is black.

Your lucky item is the prayer beads.

Amitabha Buddha.

All right, the fee is five rice dumplings.

But if you buy ten, your wish will definitely be fulfilled!

That's terrible...

Yes! I'll buy them!

Thank you.

They beat us...

Well, I would like to give you the results.

The winner of the 118th school festival here at...

...East Tousen High School goes to...

...Gettoan of class 2-C!

We did it!

I hope you don't forget the spirit of volunteer work...

...and don't forget about your devotion as well.

After all, this school festival is about making an offering and showing affection...

Listen up!

Damn! This sucks! This really sucks!

At least we had fun, right?

I guess your spiritual powers are unreliable, Ikkou.

That's strange.

If I tell them I chose them because their boobs stick out, they'll kill me.

Your class won, right?

All thanks to your plan.

It's because you're good at listening to others.

Well, thanks...

That was fun.

I see...

So, you're ready to leave?

I don't want to trouble you any more.

You're right. I don't want to hear any more of your problems.

The sky is beautiful with stars.

It's a perfect night to go.

Yeah.

Bye...

Hey...

I'll hold your hand.

Sakura...

This is an incantation so that you won't get lost on your way to the pure land.

Thank you...

...Dr. Sakura.

That website gives me a sense of superiority over others. It's just terrible.

That's not true.

It's just as I thought, both Sakura and Dr. Sakura were very kind people.

Well...

Goodbye...

Sakura!

We still have some fried noodles left! Do you want to join us?

I'll have some!

Give me a super-extra-large portion!

Ah, if we escape this rainy cave Ah, ame no doukutsu wo nuketara

Ah, rings of light will overlap one another Ah, hikari no wa ga kasanariau

Hey hey hey,

if you can feel the beginning of summer Natsu no hajimari wo kanjitara

Hi hi hi,

then squint your eyes and open your umbrella Me wo hosomete kasa wo hiraku

In the alleyway where I walked to avoid the sun Hinata wo sakete aruita roji ni

You try to act brave as your shadow stretches out Tsuyogari na kimi no kage ga nobiru

The blue in the sky starts to melt Tokedashita sora no ao

It will soon burn bright red, happy end Yagate makka ni moete, happy end

Now I'm sure they'll continue, happy days Ima tashika ni tsuzuku happy days

Look, it's burning bright red, happy end Hora makka ni moete happy end

Now I'm sure they'll continue, happy days Ima tashika ni tsuzuku happy days

Kamen Ranger Number One!

Kamen Ranger Tasmania Two!

New hero, Kamen Ranger Hayabusa 20!

Kamen Ranger appears in your city.

With tasty meals and an entertaining show, let's protect the Earth!

To make a reservation...

Hey! To make a reservation...

What do you people think you're doing?

What do you people think you're doing? Doing previews...

That's more like a business to me!

Jeez!

Our next episode is "Don't Transform!!"

Please tune in next week!

Next Episode: Don't Transform!! Shake hands with us!

Next Episode: Don't Transform!!