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(THEME SONG PLAYING)
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(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
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(TELEPHONE RINGING)
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For you. Give me a call.
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One for you.
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DAVID: I don't look upon this like it's the end.
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I look upon it like it's moving on.
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You know, it's almost like my work here's done.
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You know, I can't imagine Jesus going,
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"Oh, I've told a few people here in Bethlehem I'm the Son of God.
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"Can I just stay here with Mum and Dad now?"
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No. You've got to move on. You've got to spread the word.
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You know, you've got to go to Nazareth, please.
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And that's... Very much like me.
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My world does not end with these four walls.
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Slough's a big place, you know.
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And when I finish with Slough, there's Reading, Aldershot, Bracknell.
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You know, I've got Didcot, Yateley.
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You know, Winnersh, Taplow.
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You know, because I am my own...
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My own boss, I can... Burghfield.
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I can wake up one morning and go,
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"Oh, I don't feel like working today. Can I just stay in bed?
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"Oh, I don't know. Better ask the boss."
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"David, can I stay in bed all day?" "Yes, you can, David."
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(CHUCKLES)
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Both me. I'm not...
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That's not me in bed with another bloke called David.
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(SIGHS)
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Be a bit weird for you, will it? When I'm...
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-Well, different, certainly. -Sadder, sadder.
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But I'm telling this to everyone.
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I do not want you going,
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"Oh, that's it. We're out of here. There is no point."
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-Or walking around with your shoulders... -(PHONE RINGING)
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-Sorry, can I just get that? -Yeah.
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Hello.
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Oh, that's great. No. That's a load off my mind.
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Anna, thanks for calling. Cheers. Bye.
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-Sorry, what were you saying? -I just... I want to, you know, um...
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-Oliver! -OLIVER: Hello.
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-They took the lot, mate. -OLIVER: All of it? You lucky...
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-You were bricking it, you know. -I was, yes.
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All I'm saying is I don't want you... I want to leave...
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-Sorry. Can I just phone Steve? -Yeah. Busy. You're busy.
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(DIALLING NUMBER)
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Steve? It's Jamie.
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They took the lot, mate. Yeah.
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No, it was a team effort.
50
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Yep. Yeah, well, that's what I thought.
51
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We'll be fine. We're absolutely fine.
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(CHUCKLES) Oh! Here he is.
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The big man.
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Ow!
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Clumsy.
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(TELEPHONE RINGING)
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-Hello. -Hiya.
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-How are you? -I'm all right. How are you?
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-My Mum and Dad phoned me last night. -Mmm-hmm.
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Um... Okay, basically, we have this beautiful little cottage in The New Forest.
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-Hmm. -Once a year, we kind of organise this family do,
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and my Mum and Dad wanted to know whether we'd like to come.
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Oh. Oh, shit, I can't. When is it?
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Oh, we'll have about, like, a week, two weeks' notice.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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It'll be on the weekend, fella.
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That's what... Yeah. That's tricky. That's the problem.
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-Potentially... -Well, I kind of told them that we'd go.
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You told them? Oh, I wish you'd asked me.
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(WHIRRING AND CLANKING)
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(PHONE RINGS)
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Hello.
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Ooh! Oggy, Oggy, Oggy!
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-(OGGY CHUCKLING) -Oi, oi, oi! All right, Oggy?
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Keeno here, on speakerphone.
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-You on speakerphone? -Yup.
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(OGGY LAUGHING)
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-Tits. -Shut up.
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-Who heard that? -Everyone, you mentalist. Shut up.
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-What do you want? -You're coming down to Chasers tonight
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-for Gobbler's birthday? -Yeah, definitely.
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-Jimmy the Perv coming? -Yeah, yeah.
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-What about Fish Fingers? -Oh, Fish Fingers can't come
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because Susan caught him getting off with what's-her-face.
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(CHUCKLES) Oh, no.
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-Oh, that is mental! -Yeah.
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Oh. I'll see you later, then.
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(LAUGHING) Gonads!
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You mentalist.
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-Did you hear that? -Mmm-hmm.
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Oggmonster.
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Here we are. The madhouse.
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-Hiya. -Hi.
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Hi.
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Oh.
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-All right, Tim? -All right.
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Yeah. All right.
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What, her? She's writing an article on me, for Inside Paper.
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Look.
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Ben's... Are you wondering...
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Ben, are you wondering who that is?
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Well, I'll tell you all.
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If you're wondering who this stranger is, wandering around,
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she's writing an article on me for Inside Paper.
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-Where have you been? -Warehouse.
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Well, you missed me telling everyone
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she's writing an article on me.
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For In...
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Subject matter.
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All right.
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What do you want to know?
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Do you mind if I talk to some of your staff later?
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Why?
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Well, my train doesn't leave till 1:30,
115
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so I'll hang about, if that's okay, and have a chat with some of them.
116
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Well, I want to see what they say before...
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I'm not going to put anything nasty in.
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Well, they won't say anything nasty. So...
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Okay.
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Right, so would you like to tell me about
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your individual outlook on management?
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Sure, um, put...
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"David Brent is refreshingly laid-back for a man with such responsibility."
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Yeah, can you just answer in your own words and I'll work it up later.
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Yeah. Um...
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"Brent mused and then replied..."
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-Sorry now, David. -Go on.
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-Could you just say what's on your mind? -Yeah.
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-And I'm getting it down... -Well, are you getting it down?
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Because you're not doing shorthand
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and I'm going to be pretty... (SNAPPING FINGERS)
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-Just... -Well...
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Okay your question, I suppose, was,
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"Is it difficult to remain authoritative and yet so popular?"
135
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-Well, no, that wasn't my question. -Well, it's...
136
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Or shall I answer that one first?
137
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Sorry, no. Can we just stick to my questions?
138
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Well, maybe you should be clear on what the question is
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because I'm getting a little bit, you know...
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Okay.
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(LAUGHING)
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-But that's what he said on the nog. -That's just offensive.
143
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-What so... What's so funny? -Nothing.
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I was just, um...
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I was talking to Emma about...
146
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What is that pub we went to on Friday?
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-(PHONE RINGS) -Oh!
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Gareth Keenan. Hello.
149
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-Hi, baby. It's Anne. -All right?
150
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Are you coming around tonight?
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Er... Can't. I'm going up Chasers with the lads.
152
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Oh, come round first. We'll have a bit of time together.
153
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-All right. -We'll have some fun.
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Yep. Okay.
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Are you, um, going to bring the toys again?
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Um... Yeah.
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Okay.
158
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Yeah. Look forward to...
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Doing it to you, too.
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All right. Bye.
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-The toys? -Shut up.
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What are the toys? Is it Buckaroo?
163
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-It's not Boggle, is it? -Shut up.
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(LAUGHING)
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-If it's KerPlunk, I'm coming round. -(LAUGHING)
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That was actually a private phone call, so...
167
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Well, don't put it on speakerphone then, Gareth.
168
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Yeah, The Jolly Farmer. It's off the... Is it Hungry Hippo?
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(LAUGHING)
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Private life then. Just to flesh out David Brent, the man.
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Is there a better half?
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"David quipped, 'Why buy a book when you can join a library?'"
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So you play the field?
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Well, I don't like using chicks and shit,
175
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but I'm just, you know, chilling out while I'm young, I suppose. So...
176
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-And is there a chick in tow at the moment? -Oh, I don't kiss and tell.
177
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I just trying to find out if you're in a relationship at the moment.
178
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"Brent says, 'No comment.'"
179
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-Right, so you don't have a girlfriend. -Well...
180
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What is a "girlfriend"?
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Someone that you'd have sex with?
182
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All right, don't get coarse in a magazine for the public.
183
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I don't think you win a Pulitzer for filth.
184
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Right.
185
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I got this for my mate, Gobbler. It's his birthday.
186
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We're all going up Chasers tonight.
187
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(TOY WOLF WHISTLES) Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
188
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Come on, come on, baby!
189
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-Come on, come on, baby! -Watch. Watch.
190
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(PLAYING WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE)
191
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Oh! Oh! Oh!
192
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(WAILING) Oh, no!
193
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(GARETH LAUGHING)
194
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(TOY WOLF WHISTLES)
195
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You know Gobbler, don't you? You seen this?
196
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Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
197
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Come on, come on, baby!
198
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-Come on, come on, baby! -Watch! Watch!
199
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(PLAYING WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE)
200
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(LAUGHS) He'll really love that. He comes in his pants!
201
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(WAILING) Oh, no!
202
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-(TOY WOLF WHISTLES) -Do it again.
203
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(SNIFFLES) You know, I don't give myself a hard time about things particularly.
204
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I'm 30 years young now.
205
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Anyway, I'm not someone who has specific goals
206
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about, you know, having done this or that by my age.
207
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"I should have done this." "Why haven't I taken that chance?"
208
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I used to think...
209
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I don't know, if you look at life like rolling a dice,
210
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then my situation now, as it stands, yeah, it may only be a three.
211
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If I jack that in now, go for something bigger and better,
212
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yeah, I could easily roll a six.
213
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No problem. I could roll a six. I could also roll a one.
214
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Okay. So I think sometimes just leave the dice alone.
215
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That's why my professionalism is probably only as important as...
216
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-(KNOCKING AT DOOR) -Come in.
217
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...my humanism.
218
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Hi. I just wondered if you've got any time for a little chat.
219
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(SNAPS FINGERS) I've always got time for my staff, Dawn. You know that.
220
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"He's always got time for staff."
221
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Um... Just before you go...
222
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"Even though a lot happening in his mind,
223
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"should be on the staff. He still..." Shoot.
224
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Okay, before you leave, I wanted to hand in my notice.
225
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Oh, no!
226
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I thought this would happen. Who else is thinking of doing this, Dawn?
227
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Um, don't think anyone is.
228
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Don't throw your career away just because I'm leaving.
229
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Yeah, I know it won't be the same.
230
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But you'll probably get to know someone else and...
231
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But that's not why I'm actually going.
232
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-I've read between the lines. -Well, you haven't read it.
233
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Very flattering. But is it just a coincidence
234
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that you're handing in your notice when I'm leaving?
235
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-Yes, it is. -Is it? Is it?
236
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Oh, I thought...
237
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May I ask... Why are you leaving, if you don't mind my asking?
238
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No. I'm gonna go away with my fiance.
239
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-Oh, where are you going? -The States.
240
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All right, okay. Can we just... Yeah, thanks.
241
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What are you going to write about this? Because I thought...
242
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Okay. Cheers. I thought we were...
243
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Getting back to...
244
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"Strings to Brent's bow. A, philanthropist."
245
00:12:12,567 --> 00:12:15,701
-Hiya. Have you got a minute? -Yeah, sure.
246
00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:18,033
I don't know if you know, but when David goes,
247
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:20,434
-we'll probably gonna do an external appointment. -Right.
248
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:23,801
But we wondered if you'd do us a favour in the meantime
249
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:26,667
and be caretaker manager for a while.
250
00:12:26,734 --> 00:12:29,634
-TIM: Oh, blimey. God. -Just...
251
00:12:29,701 --> 00:12:32,334
-Doing David's job for a bit. Overseeing. -Yeah.
252
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,734
And obviously, there'd be acting-up pay.
253
00:12:34,801 --> 00:12:36,467
Right. Well, that's really flattering.
254
00:12:36,534 --> 00:12:38,133
-Thank you. -Not at all.
255
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,601
Listen, I'm gonna say no and...
256
00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:42,834
I mean, it's just a bit more work for a lot more money.
257
00:12:42,901 --> 00:12:46,000
Yep, I understand. I've got nothing to spend it on. So...
258
00:12:46,067 --> 00:12:48,968
-It's only temporary. -I thought that about this job.
259
00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:51,500
And I've been here for, you know... (CHUCKLING)
260
00:12:51,567 --> 00:12:54,334
-Okay. -So I'm, you know...
261
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,200
Listen, I think you should give it to Gareth.
262
00:12:57,267 --> 00:12:58,901
Seriously, I do think you should...
263
00:12:58,968 --> 00:13:01,100
He's a... You know, he's...
264
00:13:01,167 --> 00:13:04,100
-He takes things seriously, he's conscientious... -(TOY WOLF WHISTLES)
265
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:06,667
-He works hard. -TOY: Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
266
00:13:06,734 --> 00:13:09,067
He's responsible. He knows this place inside out.
267
00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:11,334
You know, genuinely, I think he might be...
268
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,367
-(WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE PLAYING) -...the man for it.
269
00:13:13,434 --> 00:13:15,968
-Great. Thanks, Tim. I'm just gonna go out... -Listen...
270
00:13:16,033 --> 00:13:18,200
Thank you. Much appreciated. Thank you.
271
00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:19,934
TOY: Oh! Oh!
272
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,834
(WAILING) Oh, no!
273
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:30,033
It says here that for women, the most important qualities in a man are...
274
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,467
Eyes, smile,
275
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,901
-flat stomach... -Yep.
276
00:13:35,968 --> 00:13:37,367
-Buttocks... -Yep.
277
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,968
-You've got good buttocks, Gareth? -Yes.
278
00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:44,567
-Can we see them? -No. Gay.
279
00:13:44,634 --> 00:13:46,133
(CHUCKLES)
280
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,200
Okay. Well, let's put it out.
281
00:13:48,267 --> 00:13:50,000
Sheila, what do you look for in a bloke?
282
00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:58,234
I like blacks.
283
00:14:08,734 --> 00:14:09,968
Cool.
284
00:14:11,734 --> 00:14:12,934
Trudy, what about you?
285
00:14:14,234 --> 00:14:16,133
I quite like shy men, actually.
286
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,834
DAWN: Yeah, I understand that.
287
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,334
Would that be yours as well?
288
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,601
-No. -What do you look for in a man?
289
00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:25,834
Rugged good looks.
290
00:14:25,901 --> 00:14:28,200
You always told me it was a good sense of humour.
291
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:31,934
Yeah, you've got that. You've got a good sense of humour.
292
00:14:32,133 --> 00:14:33,834
Yeah, I know. I know.
293
00:14:47,868 --> 00:14:49,734
(PHOTOCOPIER WHIRRING)
294
00:15:12,734 --> 00:15:16,133
-Oi, Rach. Have you got a sec? Can I have a word? -Yeah.
295
00:15:20,734 --> 00:15:23,400
I just, uh... I just wanted to tell you
296
00:15:23,467 --> 00:15:25,767
and I don't know...
297
00:15:27,367 --> 00:15:29,400
...how to say it. Um...
298
00:15:31,367 --> 00:15:32,801
Oh, this is so...
299
00:15:33,701 --> 00:15:35,667
(INAUDIBLE)
300
00:15:40,934 --> 00:15:43,133
Well done. She's crying.
301
00:15:44,267 --> 00:15:46,133
I know. Just leave it.
302
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,968
It's always up to me to clear up your mess.
303
00:15:48,033 --> 00:15:50,267
Gareth, okay, I'm begging you. Just stay out of it, mate. Okay?
304
00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:51,767
No. You dumped her.
305
00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:54,334
So it's nothing to do with you any more.
306
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,167
She actually needs someone to cheer her up.
307
00:15:56,234 --> 00:15:57,601
Okay, don't take Dirty Bertie, all right?
308
00:15:57,667 --> 00:16:00,400
Don't go over. I beg you. Don't take Bertie.
309
00:16:00,467 --> 00:16:03,767
-Overruled. -Gareth, if you have to go, don't take Bertie, please.
310
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,534
-Hi, are you... -Fuck off.
311
00:16:14,767 --> 00:16:15,934
Potty-mouth.
312
00:16:24,834 --> 00:16:25,901
Oh...
313
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,601
-There you go. -Oh!
314
00:16:30,667 --> 00:16:33,400
-So stay in touch. -Yeah, cheers.
315
00:16:37,968 --> 00:16:41,434
People can't believe I'm this happy to be leaving,
316
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,234
and it's, you know... It's not because there is anything wrong with it.
317
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:47,434
It's because... You know I did that thing at the community centre?
318
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:51,834
Well, as I was giving that motivational speech,
319
00:16:51,901 --> 00:16:57,534
I could literally see them all getting all motivated from it.
320
00:16:57,601 --> 00:16:59,667
And that's... You know, it's like being born again.
321
00:16:59,734 --> 00:17:05,167
And it showed me how much I had to offer other people.
322
00:17:06,534 --> 00:17:09,200
And these are the guys from Cooper & Webb.
323
00:17:09,267 --> 00:17:10,601
They're management training consultants.
324
00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:12,434
I'm dealing with it at the moment.
325
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:13,901
-This is Ray. This is Jude. -RAY: Hi.
326
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,801
This is Helena.
327
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,267
She's writing quite a big article on me
328
00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:21,300
for Inside Paper, the trade magazine. So...
329
00:17:21,367 --> 00:17:23,934
You know, I've mentioned our thing, so...
330
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,434
You don't mind if she sits in on this gig, do you?
331
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:29,234
-Oh, no. Not if you don't. -I'm coolio. Okay.
332
00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:31,500
(PHONE RINGING)
333
00:17:33,767 --> 00:17:35,033
Hello, Wernham Hogg.
334
00:17:37,734 --> 00:17:38,968
(DOOR OPENING)
335
00:17:39,033 --> 00:17:41,400
Yup, I'll put you through.
336
00:17:41,467 --> 00:17:45,200
-I'm gonna be in, in a few days. -Okay.
337
00:17:45,267 --> 00:17:48,100
Obviously, if you've got any problems, give me a call at...
338
00:17:52,868 --> 00:17:54,500
-Um, see you later. -Okay.
339
00:17:56,567 --> 00:17:57,801
Bye, Dawn.
340
00:18:00,133 --> 00:18:01,634
-All right, mate? -What?
341
00:18:01,701 --> 00:18:04,934
Probably wondering who they're gonna offer David's job to.
342
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,634
-Me. -Is it... You got it?
343
00:18:06,701 --> 00:18:08,667
-Yes! -Oh, brilliant. Congratulations, mate.
344
00:18:08,734 --> 00:18:10,500
Thank you. Things are gonna start changing around here,
345
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,834
so you can start bucking your ideas up,
346
00:18:12,901 --> 00:18:15,934
starting with your appearance.
347
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:21,734
It's going to be a well-oiled, tight ship round these here parts.
348
00:18:24,067 --> 00:18:25,267
(EXHALES)
349
00:18:25,334 --> 00:18:27,467
So what sort of management training is it?
350
00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:29,901
-Uh, we specialise... -Well, I'll tell you. It's...
351
00:18:29,968 --> 00:18:34,234
They use celebrity speakers, expert speakers,
352
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:38,033
and my personal tip is my rise to the top,
353
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:40,868
which gives it a whole new edge. So...
354
00:18:40,934 --> 00:18:45,467
Okay. So where are we? Shoot.
355
00:18:45,534 --> 00:18:48,334
We'd like to thank you very much for the time you've given us.
356
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,234
No sweat. It's what I do.
357
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:52,434
-RAY: But we won't be using you again, I'm afraid. -You won't be?
358
00:18:53,901 --> 00:18:55,500
Why not?
359
00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:57,200
RAY: It's just not exactly what we were looking for.
360
00:18:57,267 --> 00:18:59,567
No, I know. But I'll do it how you...
361
00:18:59,634 --> 00:19:01,934
I did it like that because that was the vibe of the day, wasn't it?
362
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,000
And I'll just... You know. But I'll do it differently.
363
00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:05,434
How do you want me to do it?
364
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:07,500
We have a very specific idea of what that is
365
00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:09,267
that we're looking for and we know...
366
00:19:09,334 --> 00:19:10,901
Oh, fucking hell!
367
00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:14,934
(SIGHS)
368
00:19:17,234 --> 00:19:19,067
(CLEARS THROAT AWKWARDLY) We would like to say thank you...
369
00:19:19,133 --> 00:19:20,701
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
370
00:19:20,767 --> 00:19:22,434
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
371
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,534
Go on, then. Time-wasters.
372
00:19:24,601 --> 00:19:26,167
-JUDE: We're really sorry about... -Oh, get out.
373
00:19:26,234 --> 00:19:27,734
Go on. Thank you.
374
00:19:30,868 --> 00:19:32,701
Wasting my time.
375
00:19:38,267 --> 00:19:39,500
(DOOR OPENS)
376
00:19:40,801 --> 00:19:42,100
(DOOR CLOSES)
377
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:45,801
-Oh, you mean me as well? -Yeah.
378
00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:52,534
-Would you mind if I just took a quick photo? -No.
379
00:20:00,601 --> 00:20:03,400
-I'm just waiting for the flash to... -Yeah.
380
00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:05,834
(CLEARS THROAT) There's a green light.
381
00:20:12,601 --> 00:20:13,500
Okay.
382
00:20:15,534 --> 00:20:17,534
-(CAMERA CLICKS) -Right.
383
00:20:17,601 --> 00:20:19,834
-Can I just take one more set for safety? -Yeah.
384
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:29,834
-I'm just waiting for the green light. -Yeah, I know.
385
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:36,767
(CAMERA CLICKING)
386
00:20:36,834 --> 00:20:37,968
-Right. -Okay.
387
00:20:38,033 --> 00:20:39,634
-(CAMERA WHIRRING) -Lovely.
388
00:20:54,267 --> 00:20:55,534
(DOOR OPENS)
389
00:20:56,968 --> 00:20:58,367
(DOOR CLOSES)
390
00:21:03,601 --> 00:21:04,601
-Hello. -Hi.
391
00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:05,901
-You all right? -How you doing?
392
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:07,434
Fine. Uh...
393
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,033
Am I fine? Um...
394
00:21:11,534 --> 00:21:14,267
I've just heard you were leaving.
395
00:21:14,334 --> 00:21:16,701
-Blimey! -Say it isn't so.
396
00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:19,133
-Word gets around fast. -It's true?
397
00:21:19,767 --> 00:21:20,767
Yeah. Yeah.
398
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:23,534
Were you gonna tell me, or...
399
00:21:23,601 --> 00:21:25,901
-God, yeah! -Right. You were?
400
00:21:25,968 --> 00:21:28,100
-Yes! -Okay, okay.
401
00:21:28,167 --> 00:21:30,934
So are you... You getting another job?
402
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,300
-No. Um... -All right.
403
00:21:32,367 --> 00:21:34,500
Lee and I are going to go away.
404
00:21:34,567 --> 00:21:37,968
-On holiday? -No, no. We're going to Florida.
405
00:21:38,033 --> 00:21:42,567
Um, for about six months, something like that.
406
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:44,400
-Six months? -Mmm-hmm.
407
00:21:44,467 --> 00:21:47,033
Well, Lee's sister, she lives out there,
408
00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:49,634
-and, you know, so we could live with her. -Hmm.
409
00:21:49,701 --> 00:21:52,634
And he's not happy in his job. I'm not happy in mine.
410
00:21:52,701 --> 00:21:55,133
So what do you call... Is there a name for this?
411
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,234
-I don't know. -Whatever you're doing...
412
00:21:57,300 --> 00:22:00,934
-Starting again? -Right. Starting again.
413
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:05,067
Yeah. We'll just get our heads together, I think, and... You know.
414
00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:06,200
TIM: Mmm.
415
00:22:07,667 --> 00:22:09,000
Mmm. Cool.
416
00:22:10,868 --> 00:22:12,901
-Oh, God! Hello. -Hi.
417
00:22:12,968 --> 00:22:14,434
The adventurer. Here he is.
418
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:16,100
She was just telling me about the American thing.
419
00:22:16,167 --> 00:22:18,267
-Yeah. Yeah. My sister's over there. Yeah. -TIM: Brilliant.
420
00:22:18,334 --> 00:22:20,067
Got a big house, haven't they?
421
00:22:20,133 --> 00:22:21,901
-We haven't seen it yet. -We've seen pictures of the house.
422
00:22:21,968 --> 00:22:26,200
It's a big place. Her husband's raking it in as well. Yeah.
423
00:22:26,267 --> 00:22:28,767
Yeah, we thought we'd get one of those mobile homes, you know,
424
00:22:28,834 --> 00:22:31,901
drive up the coast to the beaches until the cash runs out.
425
00:22:31,968 --> 00:22:34,934
Then, I suppose come home, or better still get a place out there.
426
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,367
-If we like. -Mmm.
427
00:22:36,434 --> 00:22:37,968
-LEE: Accommodation's well cheap. -Is it?
428
00:22:38,033 --> 00:22:39,467
Yeah. I mean, if Dawn gets a job on reception out there,
429
00:22:39,534 --> 00:22:42,334
she'll be twice as well off. So makes sense.
430
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,701
Oh, fancy that. That'd be nice, wouldn't it?
431
00:22:44,767 --> 00:22:46,434
Brilliant. Well, good luck. I'd better get back to work.
432
00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:49,267
-Well done, mate. Have a great time. -Cheers, mate.
433
00:22:49,334 --> 00:22:51,667
-Hi, love. How are you doing? -Good.
434
00:22:51,734 --> 00:22:53,868
So are you looking for swimming costumes or something?
435
00:22:53,934 --> 00:22:55,901
-(SIGHING) -Bikinis?
436
00:22:55,968 --> 00:22:59,334
DAWN: A real relationship isn't like a fairy tale.
437
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,067
If you think that for the next 40 years
438
00:23:01,133 --> 00:23:02,968
every time you see each other you're going to glow,
439
00:23:03,033 --> 00:23:05,567
or you know, every time you hold hands there's gonna be electricity,
440
00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:08,767
then you're kidding yourself really, you know.
441
00:23:08,834 --> 00:23:12,500
What about reliability, or someone paying the mortgage
442
00:23:12,567 --> 00:23:15,701
or someone who's never been out of work?
443
00:23:15,767 --> 00:23:18,701
Those are the more important practical things, you know.
444
00:23:19,567 --> 00:23:20,834
In reality.
445
00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:23,868
Hi, can I speak to Gavin, please?
446
00:23:27,467 --> 00:23:28,767
Hi, Gavin. Yeah.
447
00:23:38,934 --> 00:23:40,100
-(THUDDING) -Ow!
448
00:23:58,834 --> 00:24:00,033
(LAUGHS SOFTLY)
449
00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:06,033
TIM: You know, as I said at the time, when I asked Dawn out,
450
00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:09,767
I didn't ask her out, I asked her out as a friend.
451
00:24:09,834 --> 00:24:12,300
I asked her out because she was having trouble with Lee at the time.
452
00:24:12,367 --> 00:24:14,267
And there was no... It wasn't like a...
453
00:24:14,334 --> 00:24:15,901
You know, under different circumstances,
454
00:24:16,100 --> 00:24:18,400
I'm sure something may have happened but...
455
00:24:18,467 --> 00:24:22,534
You know? She's going away now.
456
00:24:22,601 --> 00:24:25,834
You know, you can't act... You can't change circumstances.
457
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,100
You know.
458
00:24:31,767 --> 00:24:33,267
Sorry. Excuse me.
459
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,767
Dawn. Dawn, can I just have a word in there?
460
00:24:53,033 --> 00:24:54,801
Ta.
461
00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:57,400
-Let me just remove... -(MICROPHONE RUSTLING)
462
00:24:59,167 --> 00:25:00,567
(MICROPHONE GOES OFF)
463
00:25:00,634 --> 00:25:02,500
(INAUDIBLE)
464
00:25:38,868 --> 00:25:40,500
(SWITCHES MICROPHONE ON)
465
00:25:40,567 --> 00:25:42,133
She said, "No," by the way.
466
00:25:48,934 --> 00:25:51,267
-You all right, David? -Yep, fine. You?
467
00:25:51,334 --> 00:25:53,767
-MAN: Yup. -Good. Small talk done.
468
00:25:53,834 --> 00:25:56,601
-Okay, thanks very much. Um... -Go on.
469
00:25:56,667 --> 00:25:59,167
Everyone really appreciates what you've done.
470
00:26:00,467 --> 00:26:01,634
Do you?
471
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,534
Okay. Down to business.
472
00:26:06,601 --> 00:26:09,634
That's what we've come up with as a redundancy offer.
473
00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:15,734
Yup. More than I expected.
474
00:26:15,801 --> 00:26:18,500
-MAN: We've been quite generous. -Bada bing.
475
00:26:20,133 --> 00:26:23,467
Now, you can leave on the third with your holiday,
476
00:26:23,534 --> 00:26:25,968
I understand, which is a Tuesday.
477
00:26:26,033 --> 00:26:28,567
Now we wondered if you wanted to come back for a party on the Friday
478
00:26:28,634 --> 00:26:30,968
-or leave on the Friday before? -(WHISTLING)
479
00:26:31,767 --> 00:26:33,200
Whatever.
480
00:26:33,267 --> 00:26:36,467
MAN: Okay. Well, again, thanks very much, David.
481
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:38,834
Don't make me redundant.
482
00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:44,334
-I... -Please.
483
00:26:45,634 --> 00:26:47,100
Look, David...
484
00:26:47,167 --> 00:26:49,033
I don't... I've changed my mind. I don't want redundancy.
485
00:26:49,100 --> 00:26:51,801
I don't want that. I haven't signed anything. So...
486
00:26:51,868 --> 00:26:53,500
MAN: Well...
487
00:26:53,567 --> 00:26:55,100
David, unfortunately, it's not really up to you.
488
00:26:55,167 --> 00:26:56,267
-No, okay then. -MAN: I'm sorry.
489
00:26:56,334 --> 00:26:58,534
All right, then. Well, I'm asking.
490
00:26:58,601 --> 00:27:00,834
Okay? Please don't make me redundant.
491
00:27:05,734 --> 00:27:08,167
You can talk to someone, Jenny.
492
00:27:08,234 --> 00:27:11,133
-JENNIFER: But the wheels are already in motion. -I know. We'll stop them.
493
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:12,534
Because...
494
00:27:12,601 --> 00:27:14,634
MAN: David, we're not going to discuss this now.
495
00:27:14,701 --> 00:27:19,367
I know, but just say that it's not definite now, before you go. We can...
496
00:27:22,567 --> 00:27:26,200
I will try twice as hard, I really will. I know I've been complacent.
497
00:27:26,267 --> 00:27:27,868
And I will turn this place around,
498
00:27:27,934 --> 00:27:31,868
if we just say that it's not definite now, and then we can...
499
00:27:31,934 --> 00:27:35,067
And you're not going until... Starting from now.
500
00:27:35,801 --> 00:27:37,133
Starting from now.
501
00:27:53,567 --> 00:27:57,033
DAVID: Life is just a series of peaks and troughs.
502
00:27:57,100 --> 00:28:00,901
Yeah. And you don't know whether you're in a trough
503
00:28:00,968 --> 00:28:02,500
until you're climbing out,
504
00:28:02,567 --> 00:28:05,734
or on a peak until you're coming down.
505
00:28:05,801 --> 00:28:09,100
And that's it. You never know what's around the corner.
506
00:28:09,167 --> 00:28:12,567
But it's all good. Um... Yeah.
507
00:28:12,634 --> 00:28:17,300
If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain.
508
00:28:17,367 --> 00:28:19,534
Do you know which "philosopher" said that?
509
00:28:19,601 --> 00:28:20,767
Dolly Parton.
510
00:28:20,834 --> 00:28:22,634
Yeah.
511
00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:25,234
And people say she's just a big pair of tits.
512
00:28:32,467 --> 00:28:35,701
# So what becomes of you, my love
513
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:42,467
# When they have finally stripped you of
514
00:28:42,534 --> 00:28:45,100
# The handbags and the gladrags
515
00:28:45,167 --> 00:28:49,400
# That your granddad had to sweat so you could buy #
516
00:28:51,267 --> 00:28:52,801
(PHONE RINGING)
517
00:28:54,234 --> 00:28:55,834
Hello, Wernham Hogg.
37205
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