Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:08,760
Ah!
2
00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:14,120
Whoo!
3
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,000
{\an1}AIR HORN
4
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,120
No!
5
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:20,720
{\an1}SHE SCREAMS
6
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:21,880
Agh...
7
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:23,280
Ha-ha-ha!
8
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:35,640
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
9
00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,400
Thank you and welcome to Taskmaster
with your host,
10
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:41,800
trophy model and humble
tyrant Greg Davies. Hi.
11
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,240
Right, let's get episode five
under way
12
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,520
and meet our five
galloping Goliaths.
13
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,440
They are James Acaster...
APPLAUSE
14
00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:52,360
..Jessica Knappett...
APPLAUSE
15
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,680
..Kerry Godliman...
APPLAUSE
16
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,920
..Phil Wang...
APPLAUSE
17
00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:00,400
..and Rhod Gilbert.
APPLAUSE
18
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:04,600
And next to me, he's a desperate,
nervous twitch of a man,
19
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:05,800
but he's all mine.
20
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:07,680
Oh, who is it?
21
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,000
AUDIENCE: Little Alex Horne!
22
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,960
It's little Alex Horne!
APPLAUSE
23
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,840
I thought today
we could have a game of...
24
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,560
Can we have a game of truth or dare?
25
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,240
Er, yes. Certainly. OK.
26
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,440
Truth... Truth or dare? No.
27
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:25,880
No, I... Yeah.
28
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,520
Truth. Truth? OK.
29
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,600
I want you to eat
this dog biscuit...
30
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:35,680
..or you can take the dare.
31
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,560
{\an1}LAUGHTER
32
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:41,920
Dare. Dare. Dare? Dare.
33
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:44,360
Eat this dog biscuit.
Eat the dog biscuit.
34
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:45,520
All of it.
35
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,960
KERRY: Aw! No.
36
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,040
What a glossy beard you're going
to have afterwards, though.
37
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,800
Enough tomfoolery.
We've an episode to begin.
38
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,600
Yes, it's prize task time
and for episode five,
39
00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:05,840
we've asked them to drag in the
worst present from a named relative.
40
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,400
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
41
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,400
Yep. Fascinating response.
42
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:13,120
At the end of the proceedings,
the person with the most points
43
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:14,560
will take home the worst presents,
44
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,640
sort of like a bad birthday,
but good. OK?
45
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,920
Yes, I see. OK, bad presents.
Bad presents.
46
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,600
Rhod, what have you brought in?
47
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:25,840
I have brought in a present
that my named relative, wife Sian,
48
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:30,440
gave to me and I think you, for one,
Mr Davies, will appreciate it.
49
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:39,400
I... I will appreciate that because
I bought that for Rhod's wife.
50
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:40,880
{\an1}LAUGHTER
51
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,560
Yes, you did.
52
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:46,480
I only gave her it two weeks ago,
the cheeky...
53
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,640
Has she genuinely given it
to you? Yes!
54
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,800
What did you expect her to
do with it? Treasure it?!
55
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,840
So, it's on its third recipient,
potentially, tonight,
56
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,760
in as many weeks. Yeah.
57
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,520
That's coming back to me
at some point, isn't it?
58
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,040
Right, good. Jessica.
59
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:10,160
Well, I've chosen this sartorial
nightmare from my mother.
60
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:14,480
I was 14 when I received this.
61
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,640
{\an1}GASPS AND LAUGHTER
62
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:22,800
What happens when you wear
long opera gloves and a feather boa
63
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:24,280
to the senior school disco?
64
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,240
You do not get fingered.
65
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,000
{\an1}LAUGHTER
66
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:37,040
What happens is you watch
your mate, Nell...
67
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,160
KERRY: Get fingered?!
..getting off with the guy
68
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,440
that you wanted to get off with
in the school car park.
69
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,320
Yeah, but where's Nell now?
70
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:44,600
Nell's happy.
71
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,320
Is she? Yeah.
72
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,560
It's a pretty, pretty awful gift
73
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,600
and I'm sorry that it brought you
down on your special night.
74
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:52,800
James.
75
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:56,320
My wife, Nell...
LAUGHTER
76
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,360
{\an1}APPLAUSE
77
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,240
Erm... No, no.
78
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:10,280
This present was given
to me by my...
79
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,840
..at the time, five-year-old nephew.
80
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:18,360
He made me a calendar for the year
and for each month,
81
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,840
he made up a joke because he knows
that I'm a comedian
82
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,840
and he drew a picture
to go along with it.
83
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,320
That sounds lovely!
84
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,400
I mean, honestly,
it sounds absolutely charming.
85
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,400
Er... Do you like people trying
to give you material, mate?
86
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,280
{\an1}LAUGHTER
87
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:36,560
Here's what it looks like.
There's April. AUDIENCE: Aw!
88
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,160
What did one broccoli
say to the other?
89
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,600
"You stink because you've got
poo on your face."
90
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,080
{\an1}LAUGHTER
91
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,560
KERRY: That's a good joke.
That is a good joke.
92
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,120
I think that's a great gag.
93
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:50,840
I don't know how everyone else
feels. I think so far,
94
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,000
I think it's utterly charming
and I think you're very cruel.
95
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,440
Do you want to say anything
to him down the camera?
96
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,200
I really like him, to be honest.
97
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,040
{\an1}LAUGHTER
98
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,240
Kerry, what have you brought in?
99
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:12,120
Mine are dream catcher,
yin-yang dangly earrings.
100
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,680
Here they are.
101
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,240
GROANING
JESSICA: Lovely!
102
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,400
Who bought you these?
103
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,640
Right, my mum gave them to me
and her mate made them.
104
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:23,840
I mean, to combine the yin-yang
sign and a dream catcher...
105
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,320
Yeah. ..is sensational.
106
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,520
Because if you're a new age
kind of hippie lady,
107
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,800
that's double whammy, innit?
108
00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,040
Yin-yang and a dream catcher?
Oh, God, it's all sorted.
109
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,880
Because you want balance
for your yin and yang,
110
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,120
but you want your dreams to
get caught. Of course you do!
111
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,240
I mean, they're disgusting.
112
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,960
Phil. Erm, I don't get many gifts
from loved ones.
113
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,240
Apropos of nothing.
Aw! Yeah. Well, I'm practical.
114
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,200
I'll ask for, like, favours
so I'll get a watch...
115
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,040
I'll ask someone to get
a watch re-strapped
116
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,720
or, like, pay my council tax for a
year or something. Something useful.
117
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:58,320
So I got my sister,
who is named Emmy,
118
00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:02,360
to just give me some used
toilet roll.
119
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,000
There it is. So, I think...
GROANING
120
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,520
I don't think anyone's going
to have a worse gift than literal
121
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,360
shit on the toilet paper.
122
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,280
But you asked her to.
I asked her to.
123
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,480
I'm here to win, I'm not here
to make friends.
124
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:14,840
{\an1}LAUGHTER
125
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,800
It's a great gift, though, because
if you get what you asked for,
126
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,920
that's the perfect gift, isn't it?
127
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,480
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
128
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,960
RHOD: No, he's got
a very good point, Phil.
129
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,560
Right. I've made some decisions.
OK. Last place?
130
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,760
Because it's not a sincere gift,
131
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,800
one point for Phil Wang. Argh!
132
00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:34,240
Two points, and he's lucky
to get these... Right?
133
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:38,760
..because I thought that calendar
was absolutely charming.
134
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,560
So did I. Ha-ha!
135
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,320
I love that calendar. Suck it!
136
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,440
{\an1}LAUGHTER
137
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,480
I'm going to make a note of that.
138
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:54,400
We'll drill down into what "it" is
later, off-camera.
139
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,760
Right, I'm going to give Kerry
three points. Three? Fair enough.
140
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,000
Rhod, four points. In second place?
141
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,240
And just because I think there's
a great tragedy...
142
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:11,200
..in the idea of Jessica Knappett in
long gloves being ignored by boys,
143
00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:14,320
five points to Jessica Knappett.
APPLAUSE
144
00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:15,880
Slow revenge!
145
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,320
Let's move on. Alex. OK.
146
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,200
First task and I'll make sure
this one delivers.
147
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,080
{\an1}SLURPS TEA
148
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,160
Where is he?
149
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,520
Where's Alex?
150
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:48,520
Deliver this task to Alex
in the most spectacular way.
151
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,320
Alex is in his caravan.
152
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,040
You have one hour.
153
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,960
Your time starts now.
154
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,280
Inside a cake.
155
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,600
No. It's not very good,
it's not very spectacular.
156
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,440
Oh, if we could put it in a cake.
157
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,320
What are they called? Those...
158
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,200
Bertie Bassett,
what are they called?
159
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,640
The singing, dancing...
160
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,760
Busby Berkeley, not Bertie Bassett.
161
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,120
I think that will be spectacular.
APPLAUSE
162
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,240
OK.
163
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,120
Well, I'll tell you this,
164
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,520
double points if Kerry ends up being
dressed as Bertie Bassett.
165
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:32,760
Well, we can start with...
166
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,720
Do you want to start with Kerry?
Yes, please.
167
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,960
This is Kerry God-delivery-man.
Here we go.
168
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:41,480
Alex! Yes? Come out!
169
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,440
One, two, three, four...
170
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,160
# Doo, doo-doo!
171
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,000
# Doo, doo-doo...
172
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,720
# Doo, doo-doo!
173
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,560
# Doo, doo-doo
174
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,440
# Doo, do-do, do-do-do-do
175
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,560
# Doo-de-do-do-doo-do
176
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,200
# Doo, do-do, do-do-do-do
177
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,360
# Doo-de-do-do... #
SHE GIGGLES
178
00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,760
# Doo, do-do, do-do-do-do
179
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,880
# Do-do-do-do-do
180
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:03,680
# Doo! #
181
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,320
Pow! Drum roll!
182
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,040
# Doo, do-do, do-do-do-do
183
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,800
# Doo-do-do-do-doo-do
184
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,320
# Doo, do-do, do-do-do-do... #
185
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,800
Come on. Just spin around with me.
186
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,720
All right. Look up there, Alex.
187
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:19,200
Look up there. And...
188
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,960
# Da-doo! #
189
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,920
Oh!
190
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,920
How long do they do this for?
Well...
191
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,200
Best leave them to it
for a bit. Yeah.
192
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:30,600
All right, well, thank you.
193
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,160
APPLAUSE
# Doo, doo-doo!
194
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,640
# Doo, doo-doo... #
195
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,320
I thought it would be better done.
196
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,000
I've got to say, so far,
across the series,
197
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,240
Kerry has absolutely
demolished the competition.
198
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,560
She's absolutely smashed it.
199
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:52,600
But, hand on heart -
I like to tell the truth - that...
200
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,720
..that was shit...
201
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,440
{\an1}LAUGHTER
202
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:59,680
..on so many levels.
Really? Really?!
203
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,480
On so many levels. What levels?
204
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,280
Well, I mean, I'll just pluck them
at random,
205
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,000
but the soundtrack.
206
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,200
Oh... It was catchy, though.
207
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,720
It will stay with you.
208
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,920
Mm... Yeah.
# Doo, doo-doo!
209
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,680
# Doo, do-do, do-do-do
210
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,560
# Doo, doo-doo!
211
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:16,840
# Doo, do-do... #
212
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:17,880
All right, fuck you.
213
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,920
Well, I'll tell you now, that is
NOT going to take some beating.
214
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,640
That's the end of this part
of the show. Bye for now.
215
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:28,160
{\an1}APPLAUSE
216
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,040
Hello.
217
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,600
And we're back. I'm psyched.
218
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,000
Are you psyched, Alex?
219
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,800
If you mean miked,
then, yes, I'm miked
220
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,000
for sound. Hello, can you hear me?
221
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,320
Before the break...
222
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,560
I find Alex's jokes incredibly
irritating. Incredibly irritating.
223
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,560
Before the break - thank you -
I was sat in my caravan
224
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,280
awaiting the most
spectacular delivery
225
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,320
of the very task the
contestants had opened.
226
00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,000
Phil Wang is next...
227
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:00,440
..to the man we're going to see now.
228
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:01,720
It's Rhod Gilbert.
229
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,360
Hello. Alex. Yes?
230
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,680
I want you to listen very carefully.
231
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:09,920
Inside this bin...
232
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,960
..are some gloves...
Do you want me to put them on?
233
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,560
..protective goggles,
a crash helmet,
234
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,080
some loo roll if you need it,
235
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,760
if it goes wrong.
236
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,000
This can act as a shield.
237
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,160
You'll need to get in that bin,
238
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:28,280
get down that end as far as you can
down that end of the caravan.
239
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,520
You get down...
Right. Get down.
240
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:33,240
..and you get ready
to receive the task.
241
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,400
Thank you, Rhod.
242
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:43,760
I'm in the bin.
243
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,040
The shield's up.
244
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,320
I think I'm ready.
245
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:06,640
Bloody hell.
246
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,880
{\an1}LAUGHTER
247
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,040
{\an1}APPLAUSE
248
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,000
Thank you, Rhod.
You made a hole in my caravan.
249
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,040
Yeah. Sorry!
250
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:28,080
It's kind of gone straight
through the other side.
251
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,280
Thanks, Rhod.
252
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,120
Jesus Christ!
253
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:43,120
A misthrow would have gone...
254
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:47,240
Yeah. ..through the wrong part of
the caravan and killed Alex.
255
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,760
At the time, I was shitting myself.
256
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,400
So, I didn't know it was coming
and afterwards... You didn't know.
257
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:53,480
..I was very surprised
258
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:56,200
that the production crew
allowed him to do it.
259
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,280
Didn't feel like the goggles would
make that much difference.
260
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,040
Well, it says something that
to see that sort of rage
261
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:06,080
come from a friend, to see Alex's
life genuinely endangered,
262
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,720
my heart was genuinely
pounding and yet,
263
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,360
I'm still thinking
about how shit Kerry's was.
264
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,560
{\an1}LAUGHTER
265
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:14,840
Who are going to see now, Alex?
266
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:18,240
Next up, it's a caster.
267
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,560
It's a...
268
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,080
James A...
269
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:25,800
It's James Acaster.
270
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:33,560
Cue music.
271
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:37,040
{\an1}FESTIVE TUNE
272
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,280
Hello? Come out.
273
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,240
Cue fireworks.
274
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,400
{\an1}MUSIC ENDS
275
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:07,440
Cue postman.
276
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,000
{\an1}CHEERING
277
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,280
Richard Osman.
278
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,960
Finished? Yeah.
279
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,520
Fireworks, Santa.
280
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,040
Why is he doing that?
281
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,280
Christmas.
282
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,120
{\an1}APPLAUSE
283
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,000
We'd better get this out of the way.
I'm livid. You seem angry.
284
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,960
I am livid! Yeah, why?
285
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,640
Because I asked for fireworks and
I didn't get them and, secondly,
286
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,720
that's one of the blokes I had
dancing for me.
287
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,440
He's dancing better for him.
288
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:51,360
Why wasn't Kerry allowed fireworks?
Couple of things, couple of things.
289
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,640
She made the decision to want
fireworks near the end of the hour
290
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,960
when there was no time. He was
immediately, "I want fireworks."
291
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,760
Also, his was done
on November the 2nd.
292
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,360
{\an1}LAUGHTER
293
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,560
All sounds very reasonable.
294
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,280
Well, it had the lot, didn't it?
Fireworks... Fireworks.
295
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,560
Very easy to get. Beardless Santa.
296
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,480
Beardless Santa danced wonderfully
because he said some people
297
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,240
don't ask him very nicely to dance.
298
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,760
{\an1}LAUGHTER, SOME BOOING
299
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:19,400
It's easier to get Richard Osman
300
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,160
than it is to get someone
with a beard, I found out.
301
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,000
{\an1}LAUGHTER
302
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,640
Good work. Who's next?
Well, two left. Jess and Phil.
303
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,640
Who shall we see first? Definitely
not Phil, so let's see Jess.
304
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:35,680
Alex!
305
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:37,080
Come out now!
306
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:53,880
{\an1}SHE LAUGHS
307
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:56,520
Lovely.
308
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,280
Oh, who's that?
309
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,800
It's a very little Alex Horne.
310
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:09,000
{\an1}APPLAUSE
311
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,320
They liked it.
312
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:16,760
It didn't look quite as spectacular
on-screen as it did in my mind.
313
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:20,400
It will be the first spectacular
event of all time
314
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:22,440
to elicit silence from an audience.
315
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,600
{\an1}LAUGHTER
316
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,400
You could have sung a song.
317
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,720
Like...
# Doo, do-do!
318
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,080
# Do-do-do, do-do-do... #
319
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:35,120
I don't think that would have made
it better, as we found in yours.
320
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,280
Spectacular means "beautiful in
a dramatic and eye-catching way."
321
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,440
I asked for a fucking
hot-air balloon
322
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:41,840
and they wouldn't give it to me!
323
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:45,200
Oh! Oh... I got given one of them,
but I didn't use it.
324
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,400
{\an1}LAUGHTER
325
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,200
{\an1}APPLAUSE
326
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,080
Well, let's have a look at another.
There's one left.
327
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:56,000
The last man is Phil Wang.
Yes, please. Here comes Phil.
328
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,920
ENGLISH ACCENT: Hello, Alex.
329
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,160
I'm American celebrity Taylor Swift.
330
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:09,800
Thank you, Taylor.
331
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:15,240
{\an1}LAUGHTER AND GROANING
332
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:21,120
Hwa!
333
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:28,920
Oh. It...
334
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,880
It says "Eff you, James Acsater."
335
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,560
{\an1}APPLAUSE
336
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:39,880
What's this?
337
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,560
When we started filming this,
I thought that James and I
338
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,640
would have, like, a rivalry,
339
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,600
and then I forgot about that.
340
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,240
Taylor Swift, a big icon for you?
Well, just a big celebrity.
341
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:57,640
A big, famous celebrity. Yeah.
342
00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,600
Well, it he managed to get the
actual Osman.
343
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,960
I got... That was actually...
What, you don't think that was...?
344
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,840
Oh, OK. Maybe that was the actual
Taylor Swift.
345
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,840
Thank you. Gut instinct tells me
it was a not-senior member
346
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,720
of production crew who comes
from the North of England.
347
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:14,120
You want to judge them, Greg?
Yeah. Yes, I do.
348
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,880
One point - Kerry. Awful.
349
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,440
Two points - Phil. Insane.
350
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,520
Three...
351
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:21,760
Three points - Jess.
352
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,040
Beautiful and calm.
353
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,160
{\an1}LAUGHTER
354
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,040
Four points - Rhod.
355
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,040
Incredible, worryingly angry.
So that's second place. What?!
356
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,800
Yeah. Which means first
place goes to...?
357
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,160
Well, so much going on.
It's Acaster.
358
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,240
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
OK.
359
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:37,760
Five points to James Acaster.
360
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,120
Alex, would you be so kind as
to show us the scoreboard?
361
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,200
Well, it's exciting.
362
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,480
Phil is way back on three points,
but we have joint leaders.
363
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,320
Jess and Rhod both have
eight points. Yes, please.
364
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,320
Very good.
Right, chuck another one up.
365
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:58,760
OK. Here's something ever so
slightly different.
366
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,880
{\an1}RADIO CHATTER
367
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:12,840
Oh!
368
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,080
Hello, Jess. Hiya.
369
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,000
Hi, Alex. Hello, Phil.
370
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,360
Hi, Rhod. Hi.
371
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:22,560
Hi, James.
372
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,720
{\an1}LAUGHTER
373
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:31,040
Make as many white circles on the
target as possible.
374
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:33,960
You must not step beyond...
375
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:36,800
..this rope.
376
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,840
You must not move this rope or the
target. You have five minutes.
377
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,200
You have five minutes.
378
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,520
Five minutes.
Five minutes.
379
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,040
You have 20 minutes.
Your time starts now.
380
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,920
KERRY: What? I'm feeling like I was
made to make white circles
381
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,800
for a very long amount of time.
Yeah.
382
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,960
Well, everyone else was asked
to do it for five minutes
383
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,240
and Phil, clearly, for 20. Why so?
384
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,120
So, it's those four against Phil.
385
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,960
They're a team. Phil is by himself.
386
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,880
In theory, you've got
an advantage here, Phil,
387
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,800
because you can make your plan and
you've got longer to make it happen.
388
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,920
This feels like a typo that
you're just trying to style out.
389
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:17,920
Oh, there we are!
390
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,480
I can't believe part two is
finished already.
391
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:21,600
Two parts left, though,
392
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,160
so whoo!
CHEERING
393
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,560
Welcome! Welcome, welcome.
394
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,760
You're all welcome,
even the tossers.
395
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,840
This is...
LAUGHTER
396
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,840
This is Taskmaster, so there must
have been a task under way.
397
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,120
Right every time.
398
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,720
The current task involves trying
to make circles from a distance
399
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:49,520
on a target. The twist is,
four of the competitors -
400
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,520
namely James, Jess, Kerry and Rhod -
401
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,560
all had five minutes each
to complete the task.
402
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,360
Wang had 20.
403
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,160
OK, first up, it's the four.
404
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,520
It's Jessie Caster and
Gilbert O'Godliman.
405
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,400
Ready? Go!
406
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,520
In five minutes,
I've got to find something
407
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,640
I can make white circles with?
Yes, please.
408
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,240
I mean, these are white things,
but they don't stick, do they?
409
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,040
I don't know.
410
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,040
No, definitely not. No. Er...
411
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,560
It should reach.
412
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,000
I just need to tape it.
413
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:26,240
I'm not going to get this done
in time! This is ridiculous.
414
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,560
I can't do this!
415
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:32,560
That's not going to make it.
416
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:48,800
Shit!
417
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,320
What's the plan with this?
418
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,120
Oh, you'll see.
419
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,480
I could make white paint out of...
420
00:21:58,280 --> 00:21:59,440
..yoghurt.
421
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,120
This is really...
422
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:04,560
I need more time, Alex!
423
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,760
You've got one minute 20.
424
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,640
They're all little circles,
though, aren't they? Oh, yeah.
425
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,720
Now I've just got to make
the circles.
426
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,080
Oh! Didn't think of this, did you?
427
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:16,120
No.
428
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,280
Erm...
Is there a time limit on this?
429
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:34,800
All the information's
on the task, Jess. Oh...
430
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,840
Oh, God, I've got five minutes!
431
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:38,320
Well, you've got 34 seconds.
432
00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:40,680
Oh!
LAUGHTER
433
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,200
Oh, no! Oh, no!
434
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,280
Oh, no!
435
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:48,200
Oh, no! What am I going to do?
436
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:49,960
{\an1}LAUGHTER
437
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,520
That's a circle.
438
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:57,800
Not a perfect circle.
439
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,040
Oh!
440
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,320
Yes!
441
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:05,560
WHISTLE
No!
442
00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:10,120
{\an1}APPLAUSE
443
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:11,880
Thanks, Jess. Yeah!
444
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,080
{\an1}BLOWS RASPBERRY
445
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,680
I mean, Jesus Christ, where do...?
446
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,240
You don't know what it's like!
You panic.
447
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,080
Is it too late to change the teams?
448
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,120
I thought you just had another
breakdown
449
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,400
when you threw a whole pot,
a family pot of yoghurt at it.
450
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,960
No, I was trying to create a white
canvas and then put circles onto it.
451
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,800
And that was genuinely clever, I
thought, when you started making...
452
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,400
Yeah, but I thought I did
better than that.
453
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,440
Well, you threw buckets at it.
That was the problem.
454
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:43,840
We're going to be quite generous
455
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,920
with our definition of
a circle here, aren't we?
456
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,800
Yeah, they don't have to be
a perfect circle.
457
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:51,120
I'll show you them, shall we? Yeah.
This is the four of their attempts.
458
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,080
I think you can work out
which one is Jess's.
459
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,240
This is how I totted it up.
460
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,240
A total of 42.
461
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:03,200
Can... Can a one-man unit take them
down? That's the question.
462
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,120
How did the Wang work out?
463
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:08,880
What have you got, Phil?
464
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:13,960
I have two cans of whipped cream
and two bottles
465
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,000
of what I presume to be mayonnaise.
466
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,800
Oh, shit, that wasn't too bad.
One circle. Fuck, look at that.
467
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,960
Yeah, it's a really good circle.
468
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,360
I don't know, maybe, like,
a flick of the wrist.
469
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:26,760
Oh, shit, that was OK.
470
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,200
But the circle was too big.
471
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:29,240
OK...
472
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,720
Almost slipped on the rope.
473
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,600
That's one bottle done.
I think it's going pretty well.
474
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:48,520
I can't imagine anything else
doing better than this. OK.
475
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,920
Ooh! There's one on the floor.
476
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,720
Yeah, not on the target.
477
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:55,840
Look at that!
478
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,160
{\an1}HE LAUGHS
479
00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,840
Oh, look at all them circles!
480
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:03,040
I'm going to call it a day,
481
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:07,240
because I think I'm in danger now
of connecting up the circles.
482
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,360
Well, you've got seven
and a half minutes left.
483
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,600
You going to see if you
can get any more? No.
484
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,560
OK, thank you, Phil. All right.
485
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:15,560
Oh, there's a whole universe of
circles here.
486
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,480
29... 33...
487
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,000
36...
488
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,680
37, 38.
489
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:23,920
I'm going to say 38.
490
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,280
38. There were more!
491
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,160
{\an1}APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
492
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,720
You took more time counting
than you did making.
493
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,080
{\an1}LAUGHTER
494
00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:37,280
But that's not the official count.
It's not my...
495
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,160
I presumed that y'all would count
them out, like...
496
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,320
Y'all?!
497
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,160
What's happened there?
I'm sorry, you all.
498
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,840
Yeah, I know what y'all is.
Oh, right.
499
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:50,520
W'all did count them up again...
LAUGHTER
500
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,800
W'all got 38 as well.
501
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,520
Oh! 38? Boy...
502
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:58,320
Well, I've got to say, it seems
very mean-spirited for that lot
503
00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:01,080
all to get five points,
especially Jess...
504
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:02,440
I...
505
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,120
..and for Phil to get nothing.
506
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:05,960
RHOD: It does. And yet...
507
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,240
..them's the breaks.
508
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,840
That's the way the cookie crumbles,
y'all.
509
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,440
Aw! Oh, mate!
APPLAUSE
510
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,320
What's next, then? A task, now.
511
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:19,680
A task involving another human.
512
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:36,760
Hello, Kerry. Hello.
513
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,000
Nice day. It's awful.
514
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:39,160
It's just an awful day.
515
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,440
Hello, James. I'm Jeff.
Hello, Jeff. Hi.
516
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:47,920
Hello, Phil. I'm Jeff. Hi, Jeff.
Phil. Good to meet you. How are you?
517
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,800
I'm Jess. Yep. You're Jeff. Exactly.
518
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,880
Sometimes, people call me Jeff
as a joke. No offence.
519
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:55,600
Not... It's funny cos I'm a girl.
520
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:56,840
Yes, I noticed.
521
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,520
Cheer up this former traffic warden.
522
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,720
PHIL: You have 20 minutes.
523
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:07,880
Your time starts now.
524
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,040
Why do you need cheering up?
525
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,160
I have...
526
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,680
..a view on the world at the moment,
generally,
527
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,960
which is not particularly good.
528
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,960
LAUGHTER
OK!
529
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,520
OK.
530
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,000
Not an easy task.
531
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:33,880
Was it tough?
532
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,400
Oh, yeah!
LAUGHTER
533
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,080
First to try and gee-up Jeff
are two fantastic people.
534
00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:40,560
It's Kerry and Phil. Oh, lovely.
535
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,960
What's your favourite part of the
UK that you've travelled to?
536
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:47,560
Well, I lived in Scotland.
Campbeltown in Argyll, and then...
537
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,360
Lotta soup.
Lotta soup in Campbeltown.
538
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,120
A lot of soup in Campbeltown.
539
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,480
JEFF LAUGHS
Got it! Time!
540
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:56,760
Good one, good one.
541
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,280
Was that a joke, Phil? Yeah,
yeah, yeah. It was a soup joke.
542
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,240
Well done.
543
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,800
# If you're happy and you know it
clap your hands... #
544
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,280
Yes, I did that with the
grandchildren.
545
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:09,320
Shall we dance?
546
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,520
I've got dodgy knees.
Dodgy knees. OK.
547
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,760
One of my favourite bosses
from years gone by...
548
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,560
Buses? Bosses. OK.
549
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,360
..said I'm a Philistine.
550
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,640
You're a Philistine? Yep.
551
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,080
I'm Philip Wang.
552
00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:27,760
Another joke there, Phil.
Another joke. OK.
553
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,760
Philistine, Philip Wang, is it?
Yeah.
554
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:32,720
Are you ticklish, Jeff?
555
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:36,000
Mm... You wouldn't be comfortable
with me? I can not be ticklish.
556
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:41,080
{\an1}SHE GIGGLES
557
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,120
What about the knees?
558
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:44,600
That bit's sore.
559
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,640
Oh, sorry! Your other knee.
560
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,000
Yeah, it's sore as well.
561
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:50,560
OK.
WHISTLE
562
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,280
We've had some good times. OK.
563
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,360
Look at what I can do with this,
look at this.
564
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:02,240
WHISTLE
Thank you very much.
565
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,080
Take care. Bye-bye.
Goodbye, Phil. Sorry about that.
566
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,000
{\an1}APPLAUSE
567
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:11,560
It was awful.
568
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:18,480
I... I would argue that you - that
you, Kerry - actively annoyed him.
569
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,040
I don't know what you mean.
"Are you ticklish, Jeff?"
570
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:24,720
"No, I've got bad knees."
571
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:25,880
"Ha-ha!"
572
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:27,880
"Argh! Argh!"
573
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,480
No, I tickled him, we talked about
his grandchildren, I sang to him.
574
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,440
No, no, no, no, no. You...
575
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:35,680
You sang to him
and he witheringly said,
576
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,240
"Yes, it's the sort of song I might
sing to my grandchildren."
577
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,240
Not the worst song Kerry could
have sung to him.
578
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:41,800
{\an1}LAUGHTER
579
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:44,600
JESSICA: From the repertoire!
580
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,920
# Doo, do-do! #
581
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,760
Phil. I liked Jeff a lot.
582
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:49,800
I liked his energy.
583
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,760
He also has great taste in gags.
584
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:57,120
Yeah, well,
you had two big hitters early doors.
585
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:58,920
Yeah. And that really
landed with Jeff,
586
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:02,680
against all odds, I've got to say.
The soup gag, I mean...
587
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:04,000
He was happy with that soup gag.
588
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,280
..I would have bet the lives
of all those dear to me
589
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:07,880
that that wasn't going to land.
590
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:10,880
Let's see some others. OK.
591
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,840
It's the two Js,
Acaster and Knappett.
592
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,240
Er... Let's do a role-play.
593
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,440
Mm-hm? What's your name?
Jeff. Thank you, Jeff.
594
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,080
Can I buy you a holiday?
Where would you like to go?
595
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,720
Tenerife. OK.
596
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,400
Hold on a second.
597
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:28,400
Let's go and sit on the grass
and have a laugh. OK.
598
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:33,000
Copy me.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
599
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,480
You really want me to do that?
Yes, Jeff!
600
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,640
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
601
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,000
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
602
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,200
Yes... Come on, Jeff!
Oh, you want to do it again? Yeah,
603
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,840
you have to keep doing it until you
actually laugh. Do I? Oh, dear.
604
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:49,600
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha!
605
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,960
Keep fake laughing until you laugh.
606
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,360
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
607
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,680
I don't think it's going to happen.
Oh, Jeff!
608
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:57,840
Just stand there, Jeff,
and close your eyes.
609
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:00,520
Take his arm like you're his wife.
610
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,440
You're in Tenerife.
You hear the water.
611
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,720
You wanted to hear the water,
didn't you? Yeah.
612
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:05,840
{\an1}FAINT SPLASHING
613
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,840
What else would you like to do in
Tenerife? Eat, drink and be merry.
614
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,800
CORK POPS
Wrap your lips around this.
615
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:13,200
{\an1}LAUGHTER
616
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:14,840
Cider.
617
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:18,280
Cider? Tastes like cider. Champagne.
618
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:19,840
What else would you do in Tenerife?
619
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:23,080
Sometimes go off on a trip up
into the mountains. OK.
620
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:24,440
Up into the mountains.
621
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,800
Going up the mountain now.
You have to climb up this mountain.
622
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:31,480
Peaceful? Away from all of
the hubbub of the city life.
623
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,360
{\an1}SIREN WAILS
624
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,160
Traffic warden days are
behind you now.
625
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,320
There's all peaceful...
SIREN CONTINUES
626
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,440
I've got your champagne here,
Jeff, if you want it.
627
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,480
You're sort of making me...
I've depressed you.
628
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,880
..feel a bit sad, actually, Jeff,
to be honest.
629
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,160
Yeah, I can see that.
Might make me smile, though.
630
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,120
Oh, does it make you happy
to make other people sad?
631
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:54,000
There is a certain amount in that.
Oh, got it!
632
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,080
Shall we do a little bit of
role-play?
633
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:58,440
Er, where's my car?!
634
00:31:58,480 --> 00:31:59,640
Er, in the police pound.
635
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,680
Why? Did you not see the sign?
636
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,320
No waiting, including disabled.
637
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:04,560
Where's...? I need my car!
638
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,200
I've got to go to the footie.
639
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,600
Pay £125 and go and get it back.
640
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,360
You're enjoying this. Yep.
641
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,080
{\an1}WHISTLE
642
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:15,840
We got there in the end,
didn't we, Jeff? We did.
643
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,120
So, now it's bedtime.
644
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,120
Put your head on
that pillow there, Jeff,
645
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,840
and your wife can get into bed
as well and lay down to sleep.
646
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:24,360
Put the duvet over you both.
647
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:28,200
Dream sweet dreams.
648
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,000
{\an1}WHISTLE
649
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:33,240
Thank you, James.
650
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,800
{\an1}APPLAUSE
651
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,920
I mean, what I've got to say is,
652
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,200
it doesn't matter what you think
about what you saw there
653
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,920
and the madness that Acaster
brought to that task,
654
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:53,920
that smile on little Jeff's face
at the end was genuine
655
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:55,640
when he was in bed with his "wife".
656
00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,760
It was a genuine smile.
657
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,480
But I think you really cracked him.
Yeah, I think I did.
658
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:03,680
Because brilliantly,
659
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:07,160
you realised that what Jeff likes is
to make other people unhappy.
660
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,000
Yeah.
661
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,680
I said to him,
"Jeff, I feel quite sad now.
662
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,800
"You've brought me down to
your level, haven't you?"
663
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:15,280
And he went, "Ha-ha..."
664
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,440
The more depressed you got,
the happier he got.
665
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,680
At one point, you talked about
death and Jeff said,
666
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,320
"Death doesn't affect the dead."
667
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:23,760
And he really smiled after that.
668
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,080
{\an1}LAUGHTER
669
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:29,320
There's one left. Yeah.
Do you want to see Rhod tackle Jeff?
670
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:30,960
Yes, I do. OK.
671
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,440
Cheer up this former traffic warden.
672
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,560
You have 20 minutes.
Your time starts now.
673
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,160
Cheer up, Jeff.
LAUGHTER
674
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:41,040
OK. How you feeling?
675
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,480
Better? Fine.
He's all right. I've done it.
676
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,680
Finished? Yeah, finished.
Stop the clock.
677
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,280
Happy days. See you, Jeff.
Cheers. Yeah.
678
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:51,200
Enjoy the rest of your day.
Thank you.
679
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,080
Thank you, Rhod. Thanks, mate.
680
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:54,440
{\an1}APPLAUSE
681
00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:00,000
I said, "Stop the clock."
It's not a timed task, was it?
682
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,960
I said, "Stop the clock."
I thought it was a timed task.
683
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,520
And I've just realised,
watching it back, that it wasn't.
684
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,120
Oh, it wasn't.
685
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:10,600
Let me put it this way -
if you were in a caravan with me,
686
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,280
which would you rather? What? I say,
"Cheer up, Greg," and walk out,
687
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:14,640
or I stayed for 20 minutes with you?
688
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,760
Yeah, yeah, definitely,
I prefer you going...
689
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:18,560
You have a very good point.
690
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,600
Scores? Yep. OK.
691
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,080
I think Kerry put Jeff in a
worse mood. Give her one point.
692
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:24,800
One point, though, Kerry.
693
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:28,480
Er... I think that leaving the van
made Jeff happier than he was
694
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,400
before Rhod was in the van with him.
695
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,200
Two points. Phil... What?!
696
00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:34,960
..couple of absolute
cracking openers,
697
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,800
but he really hated the thumb thing.
698
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:38,880
I think three is more than fair.
699
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,080
And I can't separate Jess and James
700
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,240
and I think they both
deserve five points.
701
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,520
Well, they're both doing the same
body language. Two winners.
702
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,920
APPLAUSE
Jess and James, the Js.
703
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,640
Alex, can we have a scoreboard,
please? Yeah, we've got Phil...
704
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,320
I'm going to use the word
languishing on six points.
705
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:59,560
But Jess is 12 points ahead on 18
at the moment, in the lead.
706
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,440
CHEERING
Whoo!
707
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,160
It's time for a break. See you soon.
708
00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:18,760
Hello! And welcome back
to Taskmaster, part four.
709
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,200
Another task, please, Alex,
quick as you like.
710
00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:24,200
OK, it's time for a quick
change of perspective.
711
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:39,600
It's a long walk, isn't it?
Here he is. Hello.
712
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,240
Hello, Kerry. Hello, Jess.
713
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:42,480
Hello, Rhod. Hello.
714
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,080
Hello, Phil. Hi, Alex.
715
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:45,680
Hello, James.
716
00:35:45,720 --> 00:35:47,800
You all right?
Do you not say hello, James?
717
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:50,880
Would you like to open the task?
718
00:35:56,720 --> 00:35:58,440
All right. It's tiny!
719
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:02,120
Quite small. Have you got good
eyesight? Oh, my God.
720
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,640
Would you be able to open
the task for us, James?
721
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:06,440
Yeah.
722
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:08,520
He don't mind doing that.
723
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:09,680
That's nice.
724
00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:12,360
He's got very strict rules today
about what he will and won't do.
725
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,400
{\an1}LAUGHTER
726
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:22,200
Make yourselves look
as little or big as possible.
727
00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:25,520
You have 20 minutes.
Your time starts now.
728
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,760
What, with the camera? You can do
what ever you want
729
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,040
to make yourselves look
as little or big as possible.
730
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,080
Now, the first lot
we're going to see
731
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,280
have the shortest life expectancy.
732
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:41,680
Yes, it's the men.
733
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:44,120
Here we go.
734
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:51,120
Hello, James.
735
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:52,600
HIGH-PITCHED: Hello, Alex.
736
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:58,400
How do you do, Rhod?
737
00:36:58,440 --> 00:36:59,880
HIGH-PITCHED: Hello, Alex!
738
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:03,280
Phil?
739
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:07,520
Phil?
740
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:09,440
DEEP VOICE: Hello, Alex.
741
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,360
ARGH!
742
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:14,400
Fe, fi, fo, Phil!
743
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,560
{\an1}APPLAUSE
744
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,800
I mean, credit where credit's due,
I thought that was awesome.
745
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,360
Guess how we did it.
LAUGHTER
746
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:28,480
How the hell was it done?
747
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:31,120
Me and Rhod...
748
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,600
..weren't as close to the
camera as it appeared.
749
00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:43,400
Do you want to see a team with an
impressively even number of ribs?
750
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:44,640
{\an1}LAUGHTER
751
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,000
Jess and Kerry, here we go.
752
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:52,960
Hey, Jess. Catch.
753
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:58,440
I like your bangle.
754
00:37:58,480 --> 00:37:59,720
It's yours.
755
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:05,040
Thanks.
756
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:07,720
I've got you a massive duck.
757
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,040
Kerry, it's tiny.
758
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:15,960
{\an1}SQUEAK!
759
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,440
Got you a little something.
760
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:18,600
What is it?
761
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:21,520
A little portrait of Greg.
762
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:23,680
Oh. No, no, it's too big.
763
00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:26,680
Jess! It's massive! Jess!
764
00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:27,800
ARGH!
765
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:29,880
Ooh... You all right?
766
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:31,440
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
767
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,480
I love it. I love it.
768
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,680
{\an1}APPLAUSE
769
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,040
Seemed funnier on the day.
770
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,280
I enjoyed the technical
prowess very much.
771
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,800
It's a very close-run thing for me.
Is it?
772
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,280
Very, because I thoroughly
enjoyed both films.
773
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:53,000
Right. Did you? Did you?
774
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:56,480
You know, in the context
of my contractual obligation, yes.
775
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:01,360
I'm going to award it on the basis
that the boys did look
776
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:04,160
physically smaller and,
in Phil's case,
777
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,720
physically bigger than the girls.
OK, so, how many points to the men?
778
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,480
Well, three points to the men
and two points to the women.
779
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,080
OK, there we go. Three for the men,
two for the women.
780
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:17,640
Right, will all five of you
please vacate the area
781
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,320
and head to the stage
for the final task of the show?
782
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,320
{\an1}APPLAUSE
783
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:32,440
Visually stunning already. Who will
be reading the task out, Alex?
784
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:35,120
The person who is wearing the outfit
the best, Jessica Knappett.
785
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:36,320
Ah!
786
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:39,800
Taking it in turn,
787
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:44,480
each team must dangle one of these
items on the hanger.
788
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:49,120
A different member of the team
must dangle each time.
789
00:39:50,240 --> 00:39:53,560
Once you've touched one of
the items, you must dangle it
790
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:57,560
and you must dangle within 20
seconds of the previous dangler.
791
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:05,280
The team who doesn't cause the items
on the hanger to fall wins.
792
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,640
So, this is the first-ever team
studio task. Got it.
793
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,280
So it's women versus men.
Are there questions?
794
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,720
Yes. Hello, Kerry.
I don't understand it.
795
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:16,520
I do. It just says dangle a lot.
796
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:18,480
I'll run you through it, Kerry.
Thank you.
797
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:21,360
So, you might come along and pick up
the massive duck and dangle it
798
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:22,840
by the hook on the beam. Yeah.
799
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,120
Then one of the men will come along
and pick up another item,
800
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,640
dangle it on the beam. OK?
OK, so we're just dangling shit?
801
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,880
The first team member that causes
the hanger to fall
802
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,720
are the losers, right? Exactly that.
803
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,400
Oh! It's Coat Hanger Buckaroo!
It's Coat Hanger Buckaroo!
804
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,040
Why didn't you just say it was
Coat Hanger Buckaroo?
805
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,320
And, Alex, once you've picked
an item up,
806
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:41,360
there's no putting
it down again? Yes.
807
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:42,920
Do you understand that? Yes!
808
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,680
I'll be watching you like
a fucking hawk.
809
00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:46,920
Right, let's do it.
810
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,120
Quite a fat hawk, to be fair.
811
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:50,640
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
812
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:52,520
He's right, I've let myself go.
813
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:56,400
Earlier, Greg gave me this card.
814
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,600
I don't know if you want
to read that? That's...
815
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:03,480
"I, Gregory Davies,
being of sound mind,
816
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:06,040
"hereby predict that
during the coat hanger task,
817
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,520
"Rhod Gilbert will make a joke
about how fat I am."
818
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,400
{\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
819
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:20,320
So, the women are first up.
820
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:21,960
You've got 20 seconds.
821
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,840
Starting...
WHISTLE
822
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,480
So, one of you step forward.
Jess, you go first.
823
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,760
So you must hang that. You've
touched that, you must hang that.
824
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:36,280
Is it a heavy one? It's clearly
heavy. Yes, it is.
825
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:39,920
It's absolutely fine.
I know what I'm doing.
826
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,640
And that's 20 seconds.
You must let go. Let go, please.
827
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,000
OK, men, step forward, one of you.
One of you.
828
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,760
OK, Phil's gone. Phil's gone.
829
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,960
Phil, the time! Come on.
Go on, Phil.
830
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:54,920
Oh, heavy one. Ooh! Is going to be
counterintuitive, isn't it?
831
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,680
JAMES: It's OK.
832
00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:58,680
You've got five seconds. Ooh...
833
00:41:58,720 --> 00:41:59,920
Oh!
834
00:41:59,960 --> 00:42:01,840
It's all over.
835
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:04,000
JESS: Game over?
CHEERING
836
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:06,080
Game over.
837
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:09,080
I thought they'd made the heavy
things look light!
838
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,920
I thought they'd made
the heavy things look light!
839
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:13,840
We win. That was an anti-climax,
wasn't it?
840
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:15,200
{\an1}LAUGHTER
841
00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:18,680
Please come down and we'll see how
that's affected the final scores.
842
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:28,840
Biggest anti-climax in
Taskmaster history?
843
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:31,000
Well, I mean, I think someone
ruined it for everyone,
844
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:33,000
but I don't think it's
anyone's fault.
845
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:34,880
Come on,
let's have some stats and stuff.
846
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:37,440
Well, it does mean the women
are stretching their lead.
847
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,600
93 points each to Kerry and Jess.
848
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,160
Joint first in the series,
so well done them.
849
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,480
Oh! Yes! Joint first place?
850
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:48,400
The nearest man is Rhod with 85,
then James with 82,
851
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:51,040
then Phil with 68.
852
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,000
But in this episode, in first place,
853
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:55,520
is Jessica Knappett
who's on 25 compared to James's 20.
854
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:59,160
Jessica Knappett wins.
CHEERING
855
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,160
Well done to Jessica Knappett.
856
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:04,320
Please go and gather your
terrible presents.
857
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:05,800
Yeah!
858
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:09,440
So, what have we learned today?
859
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:13,000
We've learned apparently if you
want to cheer up a traffic warden,
860
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,680
don't target his arthritic knees.
861
00:43:15,720 --> 00:43:17,960
But now, let's hear it again
for tonight's winner,
862
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,760
a better person than any of us,
it's Jessica Knappett.
863
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:23,040
See you next time for our 50th show.
864
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,560
SMASHING
Oh!
865
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,200
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
101864
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof