Original subtitles

And what are you doing with my walk?

Come on, don't be so tight. I'm a struggling student.

Well, hello, stranger.

I don't want to just throw it all away for a six -month jolly in some plush Abu

Dhabi apartment.

Goodbye. Ma 'am.

Is Holly Robb's baby?

I don't know.

Bye. Bye. Bye.

Being at the bus stop with my shopping in my hands. And I'm over here in an

elder lady's as the rumors start to fly.

Being in the schoolyard, in the scrapyard, in the chip shop, in the

in the pool hall, at the shoe store, every corner turned around.

Playing with a schoolgirl who was running, running home to her mom and

All right,

then. Plenty of time for that.

Come on, Stell.

I'm not even inside and you're already blubbing.

Don't embarrass me now. I am not blubbing.

Proud I am.

There you go.

Perfect. Like home from home.

Except your mother won't be here to do your washing.

No, because you're abandoning me.

We are not abandoning you. We're moving to Dubai.

For a few months, that's all.

And there's only a plane ride away.

Hey, I can always come and stay with you. Meet your new friends, do some

bombs.

They're going to love you, Prash.

My son, you'll leave a boy and soon return a man.

You'd better get going.

847 to your traffic. Be a bugger.

Come here, you.

Come here, you.

One more thing.

Oh, you are so gross.

I know.

If you can't handle Holly crying, the last thing you need is to get a girl

pregnant. It's not on, Ben. It's not in.

Hey, babe, we need to get cash out. Or do we later?

No, for the electric.

I thought we just paid there.

Check the balance.

Make sure we're not overdrawn again.

Problem?

Do you want a little go on, Donkey Bach?

I think she's a bit yelling, to be honest, then.

I meant you, not her.

Hello, stranger.

Dad, you've arrived.

Thought you'd have the bunting out for your old man.

Oh, look at you. You're so brown.

Hiya, Ken. Long time no see.

Dying to see this one, I am. Oh, hello, you.

Look at her.

She don't even look half English.

Well, she's a quarter English, quarter Syrian and...

Half Welsh.

Well, well, well, the prodigal son of return.

Here she is, my lovely sister.

How are you doing, kid?

Save the niceties, good boy.

We've got a surprise party to plan for our mother. You can see him later. Come

on, now.

Oh, he left his good trainers, look.

I'm missing him already.

Yeah, but can you hear that?

What? Peace.

And quite wonderful quiet.

Anything to eat?

There's some ham in the fridge.

Mum! Stella!

That's what it lasted.

Hiya! Oh, my God, you'll never guess what.

You're pregnant?

What? No.

You're not, are you? No.

Look, Rob's inheritance finally came through. Five and...

It's there. No, in our culture set, isn't it?

Were you in on that? Of course. I sorted the probate and the annual dividends

from Rob's company.

But why didn't you say nothing?

Exactly. It was me who was. We wanted to surprise you, and I was glad to help.

Hey, Luke, lend us a fiver.

Anyway, I want to take everyone for a posh family meal this week, seen as

Grandpa's bash. Oh, Luke, that is so lovely.

Come here. What's wrong with Daddy's little girl?

Hmm?

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

What do you think?

I'll get it finished proper and framed, but it traces all of Mam's family right

back. Something and nothing really, Ken. I mean, you're her only son.

Oh, Charmaine.

What have you got her then?

Swarovski duck.

Oh, fair play. She'll love that.

But what it is, is I just thought, seeing as it's her hundred, I'd like to

something personal.

On your head, BF.

I just need a few more photos to finish it off proper.

So we'll be going to see her up the home. I could try and get a few old

out of her.

No point just going there before one.

She's pulling the balls at the meat raffle.

I mean, I know we were going to get something from Rob, but I never thought

be this much. It is a lot of money, isn't it? Yeah.

I hope any boy got off all right then.

Yeah, fine.

He'll be on the blower now in a minute with fresh as flu.

You look knackered.

Don't I, sweetheart?

I really know.

I take it you haven't told Michael.

I mean, that's the dream, isn't it? Yeah.

If Holly's not Michael's baby, I might have another sister.

Not a half -sister, a little full -blown 100 % sister.

Well, that's nice for you then, isn't it?

Del, will you bring in some of those twirly caramel things, please? OK.

Can I have some pop?

Yeah.

You've got to tell him, ma 'am.

You know you do.

On the house.

It's chamomile, which I'm told is very relaxing.

I do really appreciate that.

Oh, right, yes.

Penny for them.

Look out!

The cheer -up train have arrived.

Jag a Jag a cheeky vimto and a nick a Ponteberry glory, if you will.

You're the only one who ever gets the name correct.

Coming right up.

You do look low, babe.

Yeah, well, I am as it goes.

I phoned Carl this morning so Genevieve could say hello before I dropped her at

nursery, but he were out for the day with Fatty Boom Boom.

I'm not being mean, by the way, to put Carl to corner.

Getting on with his life he was, Bobs.

Living.

And here I am, stuck in a rut.

Oh, babes.

Right there we are.

You alone and loveless.

Me alone and loveless.

What happened to Ed, Claire?

Oh, we met someone down at the school one where you do like the old costume

thing.

Doomed from the outset, we were.

Leave him to it.

I even tried that tinder.

Just a bunch of faceless torsos. And John Shop.

John Shop's married?

Exactly. The love rat.

But that's the trouble with this online dating game. It's like a bag of revels.

You never know what you're going to get.

Most likely it'll be a coffee cream.

Right, Bob.

Cheeky Vimto.

And will you be wanting two cherries and two spoons with the berry bocker? Hang

on a minute, Jack.

I've got a business proposal.

Holly's just gone down.

Started a list of things to ship to Dubai.

Where's Billy? Outside, practising his football. He's got Glenn in goal again.

Social services have emailed.

The family they had in mind, it's all fallen through.

Right. And they've asked if he can... If he can stay with us.

How long?

Well, until they do find somewhere, I suppose.

Dubai's already booked. I know.

But if we can't keep him, it'll mean more emergency fostering and uprooting

again. I know, but... What if you went ahead without her?

What? Me and Holly can join you when it's all sorted.

So I'm not flying halfway across the world without my wife and baby. I know

not ideal, but you've worked so hard. It'll take months for them to find a

family. No, I'll call Al -Khamadi and see if we can postpone the trip. Oh,

it, will you?

Stop what? Stop being so nice. Why are you being so nice?

I'm not being nice. I'm doing what any normal husband would do. Yeah, well, I

can't handle it, OK?

Stella?

Tell me what's going on.

It's too awful.

Jesus, please don't tell me you're ill.

I was unfaithful to you.

What? When?

What are you talking about?

With Rob. I had sex with Rob.

No. Last year.

I've wanted to tell you for so long. I don't know.

It happened once.

Just once.

Am I supposed to be grateful for that? Am I?

Why the fuck are you telling me now?

Because of something else.

Jesus, Stella, she... She is...

This

is, um... It's like I don't know who you are.

I mean, how could you... You asked me to marry you, Stella.

You asked me to marry you.

And you just... You knew?

All that time you knew.

On our wedding day.

And all through the pregnancy and the birth.

Christ, we went through all of that together and you knew. That time you

that baby could be robbed.

I can't even look at you.

We need to, you know, find out properly.

We need to do a paternity test.

Another one?

I didn't think this would be my life. I really did not.

There's a company that does it in 24 hours, and they text you the results.

Wow, the express service.

Find out that your world has fallen apart in just 24 hours.

Amazing what they can do these days. It's up to you, of course. I mean,

you want. You think this is what I want?

Let's do the test.

Like I've always said, swipe right, be buggered.

This is the personal touch, face -to -face, hand -to -hand.

Skin -to -skin, and I can't tell you if there's a spark there. But Nadine and

Bobby can!

Bravo! Bravo!

What ingenuity!

Conti Partners will be a personal matchmaker solely for the residents of

Ponteberry and the Outlane area.

We're like a modern -day Cilla Black.

May she rest in peace.

As requested, some examples of my fine design work.

Your design work?

I do do posters.

Done a design course.

Here is my portfolio.

I do go around the businesses in Cardiff now and again, selling for work.

Hasn't worked out yet, but God loves a trier.

These are good.

But we need exceptional.

Something classy.

Sophisticated. Cheap.

We need this.

A photo, like?

I have a camera.

We are cooking with Gus.

Babe,

maybe we should wait a few days.

Just make sure no one's going to take it away from us. No one's taking it.

And I want to treat you anything you want.

Thank you.

Fuck, it's on my pillow still.

I love you by

meeting you.

Your paternal grandmother is here.

Hiya. Hiya, Nana Kosh.

I've got a bone to pick with you. You know why you're a father here, don't

Organising my 100th birthday party. And I'm camping.

I don't want no party.

You've got all the party, Nana Kosh. That's where you were wrong, good girl.

I just want to turn 100 in peace and bloody quiet.

Right, I need to head to the allotment now.

See you later.

Bye.

Wonderful.

Fabulous. Work it.

Own it.

Oh, the camera loves you, Nadine.

And I love him.

You need to get these to the printers by six.

You can't rush perfection, Yanto Bede.

Forbes, come on in.

I thought we said chic.

Then extend them.

Utterly sublime.

Now, show me how that bow and arrow works, Cupid.

Cock it.

Pull it.

Fire it.

I do find all this very degrading.

You should at least take the necklace back. It was too much.

Ben, enjoy it. You deserve it.

I love it.

All I did was blink. What?

From my homie to my only.

Oi, I'll be asking you to afford fancy shots and that.

Never you mind.

Sounding good.

Keep it up. Babe, it's your bit.

It was all now, never planned, no after.

It was like games. Joke.

Laughter, live for the moment. Let it all open. Now I'm in deep flames.

Lava. Breathe.

Shut up and listen, man.

Taxi back to Ponsonbury, flash jewels round the neck like, and since when have

them two got cash for designer gear?

Or maybe come up on a scratch card.

You're not the one.

Right, that's enough fresh air for you. You can get back on the police station.

Yeah, if your grumpy old nan will let me near it.

See you later, Mike.

Thanks, Billy. Good work.

The result came.

Thought I'd done a runner, didn't you?

No.

Well, yes, actually.

How are you feeling?

I get a bit lost.

Look, Michael, I know I'm being funny, but when all that happened with Beyonce,

I forgave you, didn't I? We got through it, didn't we? You can't compare Beyonce

with Rob, for Christ's sake.

He was your first love. He's had this hold over you since you were 16.

How am I meant to compete with that?

But it's not a competition.

Yes, it is.

Rob's already won.

So what are we going to do? What are we going to tell people? Nothing.

It's no one else's business.

I've got to get to work.

Oh, come on, come on. I've got funeral in half an hour.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the inaugural poster for Ponty Partner.

Oh, my God, I'm cleaning up.

What the hell is that?

It's your nostril, babe.

I can see that.

What are you doing on my poster, you antelope?

Uh... Looks like me bit a slight snag.

Nothing to worry about.

But... Instead of 50 individual posters, we've got one gigantic 50 -foot poster.

Billboard -sized like.

The horror.

Hey, come on, come on. It could be worse.

At least you haven't got a bat in the cave.

All right, Mickey J?

What do you want?

Oh, hiya, mother of my child. Cracking to see you.

Hello, gorgeous boy.

What do you want, Beyonce?

A bag of water. What makes you think we want something?

Well, do you?

Yeah. Will you mind Jackson for me tonight, right on the pier? No, sorry.

got plans.

You've got plans?

Dinner? Just the family?

Luke's arranged it. Where do you go in?

Rosemary House.

With Benny in it? Anything else?

Yeah. Can you lend it to Fiverr?

Right. Bye.

Luke will come into my name.

From who?

Dad Rob, it is.

Table's booked for seven.

OK. And Zoe's mam's happy to have Holly as well as our two.

That's good of her.

Don't she want to come?

I know what she's like. She's not fussed on going out.

Anyway, what are you doing here?

You're going to tax it?

Oh, charming.

I'll come to check on my old girl tonight, cos I've seen you looking

So, I told Michael.

Right.

And we done a test, and she's robbed.

OK?

Oh, bloody hell.

Yeah.

What a mess.

Right. Let me cancel this dinner.

Oh, don't be silly.

We've got to carry on as normal.

What are we going to tell people?

Nothing.

There's nobody else's business.

Only ours.

And Rob's? Stella Jackson.

I told her before and I'll tell her again.

No social chit -chat on duty.

Now move it.

Pon's sure.

I've got to go.

See you tonight.

I'm having second thoughts.

You said I could put my posters up, and this is a poster.

That's a verbal contract there, Jack.

No, looking again, I can see it has a certain appeal.

Thanks. You're a friend and a confidant.

Oh, we'd love it.

Jack?

I'm so sorry, but I can't work my shift tonight.

What? It's an emergency.

I have one ticket to see a tour in production of Grease. It's the hottest

in town.

I'm sorry, little Alan, I can't spare you. But I have to go. You don't

understand. Jack, you can't stand between a man and his art.

I've got trier in the kitchens from my army days.

I'd be glad to have a comrade out.

Are you sure?

When the chips are down, someone's got to cook them.

Fine. Then if little Alan can run you through the basics, we have got

a deal.

You fly through my head like wine.

Good evening.

Table in the name of Morgan.

We're still waiting for a couple more, mate.

Hey, Stella.

Isn't that your box?

Love, oh, love, oh, perilous love. If you'd like to follow me.

What it is, is family dinner, isn't it?

Yeah. And how'd that pertain to you, then?

Left the lip now, so. I'm Luke's stepmother. Once removed, bit of

you don't mind.

Er, where's Jackson?

Oh, relax, Mikey's with my nana.

Oh, for God's sake. Nana Pat!

Is that even safe?

Oh, Nana Pat's had seven babies in her time, and she's had three kittens. I

think she knows what she's doing, all right?

Anyway, we've ordered the drinks now, so... Ah, great.

Come on then. Sit down.

Do you want to sit next to me?

What am I?

Good evening.

We're with the Morgan party.

Come on, man. We're missing the action.

Sorry about my mother. She's very enthusiastic.

Hungry.

This way, please.

Hey, Brent.

Listen to that.

Oh, my God. Auntie

Brenda. Stella's dad, Kent. Hiya. What are you doing here? Well, well, well.

Little moon -lighting Alan.

I thought you were off seeing Grish.

I'm just doing a trial shift, that's all.

But please don't tell Jag.

Then your secret is safe with me.

Ma 'am's the word.

Don't mention ma 'am.

Okay?

So has little Alan run you through the menu?

He has.

And I thanked him.

But I'm an innovator, Jack.

A creator.

And I've had a few ideas of my own. Oh, dear.

So what is on the menu?

Well, it is said, best to stick to what you know.

So I thought, sausages.

Sausages? In a basket.

Right. I don't think the punters... And eggs.

In a basket.

For the vegetarians.

I had to push boundaries, see, Jack.

What's with the box and all?

Yeah, you got any weed in there or what?

Never you mind.

What's your answer?

It's weird, this.

Us two being so quiet.

Normally we'd both be chocked. Do you think you're still in love with him?

You're wrong.

Rob's dead.

How can I be in love with him?

I notice you're not denying it.

Oh, Michael, don't do this to yourself.

Makes sense, wouldn't it?

All those dreams you've been having, thinking back to when he came over again

the summer, you spending all that time with him. For God's sake, he was ill

then.

Yes, I did love him, of course I did, because he's Luke's dad.

He's Holly's dad.

Let's not forget, he's Holly's dad.

As well.

You all right for drinks?

Big time on it, man.

Yeah.

Gorgeous place, isn't it?

Yeah, lovely.

You OK, Stella?

Not really.

Luke told me everything about, you know... Look, please don't give yourself

hard time.

Oh, Zoe.

Thank you.

Cheryl!

I didn't know you could sing.

There's a lot you don't know about me, Zoe Morgan.

Sounded gorgeous, didn't you, Stella?

You sing here often, is there?

Schedule permitting, I.

Well, I'll be stopping now if they're letting any old riffraff in here.

Right.

Oh, Cheryl, you may as well know that the trip to Dubai is on hold for the

moment, so I will be here for my graduation after all.

Hey! Don't be talking to me about nursing and nursing and what I'll have

them all as, Jackson.

But tonight, I am Cheryl, musical artist extraordinaire, and I have got me an

encore to perform.

Cheryl, Stella, you've got to help me with your grandmother's box.

Ken's after the photos she's got in there, but I reckon there's something

and all.

Oh, leave Nana Cosh in peace, Auntie Bren.

Everyone's allowed a few secrets, you know.

Hey, I tell you who we saw earlier.

Little Alan.

He's working in the kitchen, he is. Oh, good him.

Him, man. Top of the head. What's the matter with him, man?

I'm sorry.

Right. I think it's high -tired. Don't say a few words.

Ladies and gentlemen, Beyonce and Caca.

Now that we've finished our chalon prawn, I'd like to say a few words.

Haven't we heard enough out of you for one lifetime?

Come on, Ken Bach.

You speak.

Right.

Yes. Get your tits out, lads!

All right, all right.

Well, what can I say?

We're here tonight to celebrate Uke's inheritance.

I'm sure he'd rather have his dad still with us, but there you are. Life can be

very cruel.

Oh, Lenman, don't be bringing the moves out now, Craig.

Yeah, sorry.

It's wonderful to be back home with my family.

Because there's nothing more important than family. Family.

You know, fatherhood was the hardest job I've ever undertaken.

And that includes asphalt in the roof down the Bulls Club.

Big job you've got on your plate here, Michael.

But I promise you it's worth it.

My hat comes off to you.

And my heart goes out to you.

There's nothing like it.

To family.

To family.

What a success!

I'm sorry I doubted you. I'm run jagged out there. These baskets are the talk of

the town. People just can't believe we're not using plates.

I don't think in straight lines, Jack.

Sometimes results are genius.

Other times results are dark.

Very, very dark.

Well, keep at it.

Aye, I will.

I'm branching out now.

You can tell the point, nurse.

It's not just sausages in a basket and eggs in a basket.

I'm adding falafel in a basket.

You're blowing my mind, my friend.

Spaghetti in a basket.

Sorry? Figure it out low down.

Here you go.

With what, your dating agency and my basket food?

We're riding high.

First time in a long time, Jack.

I had to feel alive.

Now I know why so many spinsters do go into business.

It isn't a void.

Our first client is here, all ready for that assessment.

Good luck.

Oh, taxis. Tati, bye, everybody.

Tati, bye.

You'd better go and get Holly.

Yeah, actually, ma 'am.

What?

There's something we wanted to talk to you about.

Sounds ominous.

Not really.

Look,

we've been talking and we want to use Rob's money to buy the house we're in

Right. Good idea.

Yeah, the kids love you there and so do we.

And once we've paid for it and kept a few grand back for other stuff, we'll

still have half the money left.

Right. Which we want to give to Holly.

I know it's all a bit sensitive at the moment, but just have a think, yeah?

Because that money was meant for Rob's children.

And, well, Holly is... Holly's one of Rob's children?

I... Couldn't in all conscience keep the whole amount. It wouldn't be right.

It's, um... I'd be generous of you, Luke.

It's not.

It's just doing what's fair.

You're losers!

Oh, there she goes!

Oh,

can we count to less?

Well, I think Rhian's the perfect match for John Sharp.

John Sharp's married.

Exactly. She wants no strings attached.

Any strings are attached to his wife.

We're not homewreckers, Bobby Gittin.

Oh, fat lot of good this is if we can't agree on nothing.

Oh, Miggy, I can't do this.

Fashion so -and -so with so -and -so. What if we get it wrong?

I can't even pick my own love match.

Hey, now.

Your Ponteberry's still a black, remember?

God rest her soul.

We just need to get your creative juices pumping.

Maybe what you need is like a trial day to get back in the swing of things.

Two sausages in a basket, on the house, for bringing in the punters.

Jack, we do need your body and your mind.

Sorry, I'm working.

For a trial date with Nadine.

When do you want me?

And that's how I got the nickname the Catherine Wheel.

What a fascinating, interesting story. Very good.

Well, um... This is a new shirt.

Personal, not dull.

A word to the wide jag.

Raz. I have an uncle, Raz. Not him.

Raz, the art of making people fall in love with you through listening.

Receive, appreciate, and summarize.

You talk, and I'll Raz.

Okay, well, I am divorced from Tanisha, as you know.

And then there was Carol. Oh, Carol, of course.

See, I'm receiving.

But then she left and... Oh, I appreciate that. That must be very hard.

Appreciating. She's appreciating, isn't it?

And here I am, running the frisky, surrounded by laughter and friends.

I'm summarising.

See, it works.

But then at night, it's just me.

I go upstairs to an empty bed.

Oh, yeah, right, my jag.

Christ, giraffe, go on.

No woman signed up to Ponty Partners is going to want to sit through all that

bleat in her morning.

You are absolutely right.

You talk a lot of sense.

Really?

No one's ever said that to me before.

Love, more girl.

You back in the game?

I'm fairly deft.

I'm off to bed.

See you tomorrow.

See you, Billy. All right, Billy.

All right.

I'll put Holly down, if you like.

You sure?

Yes. Not like I'm just going to stop looking after her.

I

love

Horlicks, man.

Three tumblers of sherry and she's as alert as a meerkat.

The woman's got a steel belly.

Anyway, I've been thinking, forget the box.

I'm a woman of honour and if my mother wants her secrets, I'll respect those

secrets.

I thought you said we should respect her secrets.

Respect her secrets. Be buggered.

The combination.

She won't know that many numbers.

It won't work.

Try my date of birth.

No. Try your... It won't be that.

She do love me hard, you're all.

Well, what's in there, then?

I'm a gotcha.

Mental Pog Flamma.

There are photos for you.

Open it.

I still think about you, Olwen.

I heard today that you finally gave birth to baby Brenda.

And that she is healthy.

If a little plump.

Thank you for keeping my involvement under wraps.

A bastard child would ruin me.

Ken.

I'm a bastard child.

Did she get off all right?

Yeah.

I suppose we need to talk about Luke's offer.

We could, I don't know, set up some kind of trust fund or open a bank account in

her name. I was watching her just now, out for the count.

She doesn't look like him.

She doesn't look like anyone. She looks like herself.

Stella, I don't know if I can do this.

Oh, of course you can. I don't know if I can move on if nothing's happened.

I wish I could, but I'm just not big enough a person.

I hate the fact that you had sex with him. It makes my skin crawl.

Keep your voice down.

Billy might hear you. Oh, God, we can't have that, can we? We can't have Billy

or anyone else for that matter knowing what you've done.

What, you're really like?

St. Stella Jackson, she's got her reputation to protect, after all.

Oh, fuck this.

Where are you going?

I don't know.

and never find the time to tell me that my father was not the man I thought he

was. No, I just claim to pick up a few things.

For Dubai.

What?