Original subtitles

I thought

you'd

gone for good.

You can't get rid of me that easily.

I don't regret it.

I don't regret any of it.

Do you?

Rob?

Stella, you're dreaming.

Oh.

Oh, it's them.

Oh, my God, what time is it? She needs a feed.

It's OK.

We've both already had breakfast, haven't we, Holt? Oh.

You and Mummy was very fast asleep.

We like you.

Is it Rob again?

What? In your dream.

Er, yeah.

Sorry. What are you saying sorry for?

My conference calls in five minutes.

You're kicking us out.

I'm afraid it's the only room available.

It's all right.

We know when we're not wanted, don't we all?

It's bound to be on your mind, you know, with it being a year.

Eleven then.

I'd better wake Ben.

No need. He's already up and packing.

Oh. Bit ahead of himself, isn't he?

Ben? Morning.

Looking very casual, Bob.

The funeral parlour? Day off.

Oh, bloody hell, Stella, I'm a bag of nerves.

I got my big date tonight, haven't I?

Ooh, the Game of Thrones fella.

Leslie, is it?

Wesley, yeah.

I've been sorting up all my characters.

Not even finished series one yet.

for a week?

Yeah. Well, I want to be organised, don't I?

Oh, look at him. He can't get away from you quick enough.

You got a spare cheese grater?

No. Hey, and what are you doing with my wok? You're not having that. There's a

can on.

Oh, ma 'am, don't be so tight. I'm a struggling student.

Well, you just have to struggle without no stir -fried beef.

It was a wedding present, eh?

From your Uncle Di.

Wow. He splashed out.

God, Ben.

Oh, don't start.

You've cried every day since I had my results. I'm only going, Cardiff. I

but you're my baby.

No, she is.

Oh, you know what I mean. Come here.

I'm so going to miss you, Ben Morris.

Yeah, I'll miss you too as it goes.

And I'm a bit surprised by that.

Because you're such a flipping nag.

So, can I have the walk to remember you by?

No.

Oh, what now?

You were poor, maltreated grandmother, God rest her baby -sham -dependent soul.

She's not dead, Auntie Rand.

They've mislaid her false teeth at the home.

Last seen inside the lying smile of Betty Jean's brother -in -law. Yeah,

had to tell her it was bedtime just to get her to take him out. Who, Betty?

Yes, of course, Betty.

Oh, bless. She was probably a bit confused, that's all.

Hey, Ben, do you want a hot water bottle?

I've got a spare. So I'm going up there this morning, see if we can sew a label

on them or something.

They're fast teeth.

Honestly, as if we haven't got enough to contend with her turning 100 next

month. That is well old.

Is she getting a telegram from the Queen? If she makes it, because the way

things are going, but... I mean, Gerdard Stark, what a name. He's cool.

belonging to Gary Stark?

Works at the laundry?

Well, according to this, he's Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North.

Oh, heck, tonight's going to be a washout.

So, are you planning to visit your alien grandmother any time soon?

Or have she just been passed aside like a Costa cappuccino cup? Oh, is she a

nonsense?

I took Holly up there last Tuesday. She was right to drain, and she's really

annoyed with you.

Oh, what? Because of the shoehorn?

Well, now, that's not... Not fair, because I told her I was taking

Stella. What?

What?

Good God, what's up with him? Looks like he'd seen a goat.

Michael, what's the matter?

Just been speaking with our Hamadi.

Who, the Dickens and Anna McCarty? Shh, it's his boss, Mary. Go on.

He wants me to go and work for him, out in Dubai for six months.

He wants us both to go.

It's free accommodation, Stella.

In a really plush apartment.

Free childcare for Holly.

You can be a lady of leisure while I'm in the office. I don't want to be a lady

of leisure. I want to be a nurse.

And I know it's lovely, but the timing is rubbish. More than just lovely,

Stella. It's six months.

And what about Jackson?

You'd be happy not being in for six months, would you? And Katie?

Of course not.

They can come and visit. Katie, she can bring her little brother. She'd love

that. Oh, my God.

I have worked so hard to get where I am.

I don't want to just... Throw it all away for a six -month jolly in some

Abu Dhabi apartment.

Dubai. Dubai.

Just think about it before you decide.

Please?

I'll talk to Terrell.

See if I can get some sort of sabbatical.

But I'm not promising nothing.

Are you ready?

Morning. Morning. Morning.

Morning. Morning. Morning.

Morning.

Morning.

Morning.

Morning. Morning. Morning. Morning. Morning.

Morning.

on the blackjacks last night. And he'd been grinning all morning like a wuss,

the name whatchacall.

Now, what is it you want?

Cos I can't lend you a penny.

You daft, my ma. I just wanted a chat, that's all.

What the hell for?

I'm coming over tomorrow for my tea. I know.

And for God's sake, don't give me no bloody thorine.

Where's your brother coming to see me?

Ten.

He's in Tenerife, ma 'am.

How?

I'm worth a two -hour flight from Santa Cruz. That is just... Oh, I see.

He can't be arsed. Well, that's nice, isn't it? Look, never mind, Ken.

I've got something important to say.

Christ, you're not pregnant.

I've given this a lot of thought, and I won't take no for an answer.

Cheryl, the lodger, is moving out.

which means I got a spare room.

So, I've decided you were to come and live with me.

No, let me finish.

I never felt right about you being in a home, ma 'am. You should be with your

family, surrounded by people who love you, not living with strangers who steal

your teeth.

You'll have your own room.

And Stella's only a crossroad, and I can look after you properly.

And oh, sorry, Brenda, I couldn't... I know!

You think I'm making a big sacrifice?

What's a vibrant, active and busy career woman like Aunty Brenda want with an

elderly mother hanging round her neck, dragging the very life force out of her

soul on a daily basis? But it's not like that.

It'd be an honour.

to have you live with me. Get you out of this sad and lonely place.

No.

When I said I couldn't, I mean, I couldn't think of nothing worse.

Olwen, you're up.

Appreciate the thought and that.

happy where I am.

Stella Morris.

It's Jackson, actually. I go marry. Hey, I haven't got time for names and names

and what have you.

Patient in bed now needs his BP doing sharpish.

I could have a word.

I know you're going to say no, and that's fine, but I thought I'd ask,

on with it, Sarah Jackson.

Right. OK, well, Michael has been offered a job in Dubai for six months,

wants me to go with him.

Obviously, that's totally out of the question. Yes.

As I thought.

At least I asked.

Yes. You can go.

That's all the necessary paperwork.

The best of today is fish pie, and the soup is raw tomato.

I got no beef cattle till Georgia Butcher to do his delivery, and we're

out of profiteroles.

Thank you, Alan.

Little Alan.

Bob's? Oh, cheers, Jan.

Oh, Jack, will you test me?

I mean, I've just got to get a sense of the world, that's all. Otherwise, what

in the name of Annika Rice am I going to talk about on this damn date?

You're right. OK, let's see.

What is the nickname of Tyrion Lannister?

The Imp.

Bullseye.

Now, how many kingdoms are there in Westeros? Six. No, seven. Seven. I'm

I'll have to take your first answer.

Then's the ruse, Bob.

Okay. Who is the exiled princess of the Targaryen dynasty?

Daenerys Targaryen, also known as Stormborn.

I love a snake bite in black. You have to go easy on the bite.

How's your mother on you, Bren?

I rue the day that woman gave birth to me. Oh, heck, is she playing up?

I'm telling you, there's no pleasing her. Sharp as a pen.

I'm there now, offering to take her in, to put her up, to give her a home, and

she did turn me down.

Oh, I can't be easy, mind, being 99.

That does may be, but I've decided I'm having nothing more to do with her.

Good God.

Greetings. I am Caelan, Keeper of the Shroud.

Oh!

Also known as Wesley Jenkins from Bryn Armand. Hiya, Bob.

Oh, this is getting on my fins.

You two, I was early.

I know. I couldn't wait.

Plus, I managed to catch a lift off of my pal Clare's well.

He's got a van.

So come, my friend.

for the hour it is upon us.

We're parked just by the lawn, dear.

Why

didn't

you let me give you a lift? Oh, it's all right.

I could do the exercise, to be honest.

I'm trying to shift all this baby weight.

Right, gorgeous.

So, did you ask her?

Who? Terrell. Did you ask her about Dubai?

Oh, bloody hell, Michael, give me a chance. Oh, glad I caught you. I wanted

give this invitation to Jackson's birthday party it is over my Nana Pat

Saturday. First I heard of it.

Oh, right, nice.

We're going to have fireworks and a clown and everything.

Yeah, so is Mike. I meant to mention it this morning, like when you rang.

OK, we've got to get the dinner on, so... So, what do you think?

About the party, yeah, nice.

No.

Dubai. Michael have told me all about it. Actually, Beyonce... What?

Oh, my God, it's amazing that we can go out there as much as we like, didn't

you, Mike?

I can't wait, can you? What are you going to wear?

I mean, technically speaking, I got the best of four worlds.

One, me and Carl to get on better now than when we was together.

Two, you need to pay for me and Jen to go out there once a month.

And three, I got the advantage of being a single woman.

A deeply attractive single woman.

And what was number four?

Don't be pedantic, Yance.

That's nine.

Thanks.

Great.

Oh, ma 'am, there's basketball near my house.

I don't have to take the fiver side.

Nice.

So, who's going to take me down next week when I move in?

Well, I will, obviously.

Oh, for God's sake, grow up. What's the matter with you?

I'll tell you what the matter is, Ben. Your mother is sulking because I happen

to mention to Beyonce... It's Dubai!

Dubai! It might be the possibility of me going to the military big time and

maybe she'd like to come out with Jackson.

And I am not sulking.

You're so old. And I only mentioned to Beyonce it might happen. She shouldn't

have said anything to you. Ma 'am, you're mad not to go.

Dubai for six months?

That's amazing. Exactly. Stay out of it, Ben. You have no idea.

I'm so childish. You're so childish.

Thanks for picking me up.

I'd offer you some cash, but I've only got a few dirham.

I once knew a female ventriloquist in Durham.

Norman, dirham. The money the Arabs use.

I'll thought you in the week. Fair enough.

You back then, Nadine Bever?

Eventually, damn flight was delayed.

How's my boy faring up out there?

I don't miss my Carl, I'll let you know that for a watercolour. Oh, he's all

right, he's your boy, Carl.

Don't you worry about that.

Got himself a girlfriend.

Fat to mess.

Aye, he sent me a photo on the Instagram.

I mean, she's nice enough, I suppose.

But it's a get a bit embarrassing and slathering all over her when he's got

ex -lover sat there gawping like an egg.

Well, you've only got yourself to blame.

Running off with a Moldavian undertaker like Ivan Slosh.

Slosh. Karl Morris have moved on.

Deal with it.

Charming.

to see to her.

No, you're all right.

My turn.

Are you speaking to me now?

No.

Good

God.

What the hell are you wearing?

Don't say nothing.

I meant to be Shagga, son of Dolph.

Shagga? We had a few drinks, me and Wes.

And as a treat, he decided to do a makeover on me because he was so

with my vast knowledge of Game of Thrones.

Said he didn't do it for everyone.

Thank God for that.

Hot chocolate?

Aye, go on then.

Oh,

what's up, chick?

Not good, is it?

Oh, I don't know, Bob.

Not sleeping too well these days.

Oh, Bea.

And me and Mike can't keep rowing about this Abu Dhabi trip. Dubai.

Dubai.

Well, I think you're a fool.

Bob, I can't just sit at the decks and go swanning off.

I've got my career to think about.

My graduation in a few weeks.

You, Stella Morris, have got a pathological fear of leaving this damn

every time the chance to come around, you run a mile.

I went barley.

Yeah, for a fortnight on your honeymoon.

And even then you had to fall home every night.

Oh, go on, live a little, Stella.

Cos you're no spring chicken, let's be fair.

Do you have sex with him dressed like that?

Moving out today, then, is it, Cher?

Affirmative, Nadine Bevan?

You dropped something, but... Oh!

Do Jen and V want a little go -on donkey later?

Oh, no thanks, Glenn.

She was on the camels every day down Abu Dhabi. So a donkey will only

disappoint.

Oh,

Phil!

Hi, Nan.

When did you get back?

Oh, last night.

Had a wonderful time.

Me and Carl to get on better now than when we was together.

And his girlfriend is good as gold.

Fatima. Likes to be called fat.

but I feel it's a little near the mark. I'd love to chat.

I've got to get this one to crash before I start my shift.

Michael,

will you bring a changing bag?

I'll take it if you like.

Yeah, go on. Be company for me and Jen.

She can come with us up the mother and toddler.

Oh, no, you're all right. We've got our routine now and she'd love crash.

I was only being naively.

Yes, yes, international jet sitter.

Am I glad to see a friendly face round here, honestly. Chicken, I'd love to

and chat, but I've got to be away at nine.

No worries.

Give me a shout if you need hand up the parlour.

Michael, have you got it?

Hey, stop shouting.

Hiya, Michael, I was just wondering...

Stella just needs to ask her boss about taking the time off.

Oi, Jackson.

Yeah, I'll let you know as soon as she finds out.

Your release form.

Sign it and return it to me forthwith.

What release form?

Oh, it's nothing. It's to do my course, it is.

Cheryl, what release form?

You can't just take your wife up the Middle East without no buyer leave.

She's going to need to inform the appropriate authorities of return dates

what have you. So Stella did ask you about Dubai? Oh, and be warned.

You're going to need a shared load of vaccination.

Abu Dhabi is right. It's Dubai.

Great. So you did ask her and she did say yes. You just clearly don't want to

go.

Might count.

Nice one, young Ben.

Yep, I'm on a roll today.

Ah, the confidence of youth.

So, university beggars.

Yeah, can't wait.

Can you go to university like?

Only the university of life.

Yeah, I knew you was going to say that.

Fish pie?

Yeah, that'd be nice.

And a cheeseburger.

Thanks, Lev.

With no bun, no burger, and no gherkin.

Yeah, well, my mum doesn't eat bread, no meat, and she doesn't like the taste of

fucking gherkin. Got a problem?

It's essentially two slices of tomato and some cheese.

Honestly, what's the point?

I'm knocking off now in five.

Okay.

You'll miss your young comrade, I should imagine.

Yeah.

I feel a bit bad leaving him behind.

I mean, Pontebelli's not exactly the most buzzing place on earth, is it?

you'd be surprised what was on behind closed doors in Ishiotown.

Top left.

I could do with some help behind the bar, please, Gant.

Coach Roderick's cheerleaders just arrived.

On my way, Captain.

Another time, Benny boy?

Go on, Ben.

If I don't see you before you go, I'll leave you with this.

There's a wise man who can tell the time.

It's been a fool who knows how to waste it.

Right, let's get out of this godforsaken place.

I'd have been quicker walking.

Don't let me stop him. Oh, well, that's nice, isn't it?

Making your wheelchair -bound -ridden mother get up and walk like Lazarus at a

fun run.

He's not wheelchair -bound.

Come for your tea, have you, Mrs. Cosh?

Don't shout, Glen Prennick. A garango with a slice of catfilly.

Nana Kosh, how are you?

I'm surprised you know who I am.

Seen as you didn't say fair to invite me to your wedding.

Well, it was a very quiet affair, and several months ago now.

Hi, Stel. I need to talk to you. Are you on your own?

Nearly.

Look, you'd better say hi to your grandma.

She's a law unto herself, is my nan.

Listen, I just wanted to apologise for being a pain in the arse and for lying

about Cheryl.

I wouldn't call it lying, just an omission of fact.

Ever the solicitor, eh?

Sorry, I interrupted your grovelling apology.

It was just all going a bit fast for me, that's all.

But I've been thinking and I decided I'm being a dick.

Much as I hate to admit that everyone else is right and I'm wrong, it is a

fantastic opportunity.

Are you saying what I think you're saying?

I'm saying it looks like you and me are off up the Middle East.

Stella, that is brilliant.

God, I love you.

Yeah, well, I thought it might do me good to get away from Ponterbury for a

Put an end to all those sleepless nights and stuff.

It will stop, you know.

In these dreams you have, they're just, I don't know, part of the grieving

process, I suppose.

Rob was a really important person in your life. It's not like you're going to

just forget all about him.

I know.

Tell you what, why don't I cook us a meal tonight to celebrate Dubai? I'll do

something really special and send Ben and Bobby off so we have the place to

ourselves.

Yeah, OK.

No, it won't be sausage balls. I told you, that was a mistake.

Bella.

Listen, I'd better go.

I'll see you later.

But please don't let the surprise be that you are doing sausage balls after

No stranger.

He's 14 now.

God, he looks so much better.

When's your first meeting?

Two Christmases ago?

Yep. Been in remission nearly a year now.

He gave me a proper run for my money when I was on his ward.

Well, he's even more stubborn these days.

He's into a few fights, that kind of thing.

You've got a lot to be angry about, bless him.

Sharon, how long are you going to be?

I'm well bored.

It wasn't the complete accident that we bumped into you today.

I did 24 specials today and 13 burgers.

Nice. I've turned things round on the bar meal front, but no -one really

appreciates what I'm trying to do. You know, you could always move to Cardiff

like me.

I know I'll be in halls, but you could get a job there and a flat near by. Ben,

you're going to make loads of new friends at uni.

You won't want me hanging around like a cat in a bin.

Yes, I will. No, you won't.

You'll have new mates.

with names like Gecko and Jackass, who do things like bass jumping and cheese

rolling. I wish we were still in

school sometimes.

Yeah.

Ready, boy?

Yeah.

Listen, Ben, you and Bobby need to make yourselves scarce tonight. I want some

private time with the fella.

Where am I meant to go?

I don't know.

Nadine's youth club or something?

Cheers, mate.

Youth club.

This is me and Jen by the pool.

Yep. And that's your dad with Jen by the pool.

Yep.

And that's all three of us by the pool.

Yep. These cupboards make old Mother Hubbard look like Mary Berry.

You haven't even got so much as an onion.

Yeah, well, I've had more important things on my mind since flying halfway

across the world yesterday morning.

Phoned Geraldo and ordered a pizza.

It's not my fault Michael's kicked you both out of it.

I'm not having no scabby pizza from Giraldo's. I'll text Little Al.

Oh, tell him to bring some of that fish pie you do in the pub.

It is to die for.

Yeah, right, well, while you're waiting, you can look at the rest of these.

Now, this one. Oh, this was ever so funny.

Me and Jane having breakfast.

That's Carl and Jane. Carl and Jane having breakfast.

Stop! Mike! The door was open. He's just passed in and... Oh, my God, what are

you wearing?

Oh, it's just something silly.

I'm... Look, what do you want?

Right. Well, I wanted to talk about Dubai.

Oh, God, I'm sorry. I just can't take you serious dressed like that.

What about Dubai?

He's wearing a dress. You're wearing a fucking dress.

Shut up, Munchak.

Yeah, shut up, Munchak. All right, keep your cock on.

Where's Jackson?

Not a part.

Thing is, I was wondering... When we come to visit, like, would it be OK

if his lordship were coming along?

I am a kid's stepdad, so... No, you're not. You're his mother's current

boyfriend. Yeah, well, we're hoping it might get a bit more serious than that,

aren't we, babe? Yeah.

Oh, no, no, no, hang on. I'm not paying for him to come out. I'm not even sure

I'm paying for you to come out.

What? Well...

Katie's perfectly capable. She can bring Jackson out. No way! I'm not letting my

son travel halfway round the world with a sister he hardly even sees.

That's out the border, mate. She's his mother.

Look, can we discuss this another time? It's really not convenient.

Michael!

What's going on?

What it is, I just wanted to sort out, why are you dressed like that?

Oh, my God, it was meant to be a bloody surprise. Just a bit of... Who's this?

Michael, um, you remember Billy?

Yeah? Well, he's come to stay with us for a few days.

Great.

The flight's booked for the 20th. Yep. And I was thinking, you've got Bobby

here, of course, to look after the house.

Is it all good on that front?

Exactly.

I'm so glad you changed your mind.

Any news yet about Billy's new foster parents?

No, not yet.

Okay, sorry.

Christ, my girl. Poor Kate's been shoved from children's home to foster parent

and back again.

I want him to feel welcome here, not like some inconvenience.

Stell, do you want a hand? No, it's fine, Prash.

So, who's your art teacher, then? Mr. Jeffries, we add.

Jurassic Jeff.

He's 410.

Yeah, we add him. I made this pottery fireman in year eight, David.

Oh, bless.

And his arm fell off in the kiln.

Cool, Mr Jefferies.

Yeah.

I made this fast thing for my foster mother.

And then she got ill.

Oh.

That's rank, mate.

Don't matter.

More bacon, anyone?

Oh, yeah.

Billy? No.

I hope you two are coming to Jackson's party this afternoon.

Oh, fine, mate. You're on your own with that one.

Michael needs moral support contend with Beyonce's family.

God help us.

Do I have to? Yeah, come on. It'll be fun.

Okay.

I'm going to the playstation.

Okay.

He's not the friendliest of kids, is he?

He's like normal, that is.

Oh, thank God you're cocking in.

You never believe what's happened.

Oh, my God, is it Jackson? Is he all right? What's happened?

It's the clown. He's cancelled.

This one's in pieces.

What clown?

For Jackson's party, he fucking cancelled on me. Calling a cocking

You have to.

It is a current disaster.

We've got 43 of my bastard family showing up to this party, including my

brother's girl, who thinks she's the best bastard he is. So if we've got no

entertainment for the kids, we'll never get a...

Jackson's one, for God's sake. He doesn't need a clown.

Oh, well, that is a typical of you.

See what you've got?

If you're looking for a clown,

look no further.

Why? Don't worry.

You won't have to pay me.

I'll do it as a favour.

Do what, Nellie?

Pick a skills in clowning technique.

I done a course.

He's a lovely boy, is Lily.

Bit of a handful.

Well, then who can blame him?

He's been through such crap, you wouldn't believe.

And this one's dotted teeth in, I reckon.

Her cheeks are red.

She's gone a bit grouchy, haven't you?

Oh, she's so sweet, Rob.

You'd really like her.

Actually, no.

We'd love her.

Well, that was unexpected.

You don't really think that.

Ma 'am.

Oh, what's this? The Olympics come to Ponteberry, is it?

I thought these two needed a bit of wind in their Saturday tales.

These are going to give me some boxing lessons and all.

Oh, nice.

It's not fair.

Some of us had bacon and eggs this morning. I'm only thinking of you and

unhealthy student lifestyle you've got ahead of you. Right, go on. Sprint to

that big statue thing and back.

What? Ready?

Twice!

Billy reminds me of me at his age.

Troubled, sulky and defensive.

I wonder where he got that from.

Rob, one defensive.

He was just annoyingly private.

I still think about him a hundred times a day.

Yeah.

This is ridiculous.

Luda, come on, old man.

He's the right little mofar, isn't he?

Luke, you know when Rob came back last year, the first time?

For Sophie's Christmas?

Yeah.

Well, we... We

talked a lot about how proud we were of you.

Really proud.

Thanks.

Right.

Let's get going.

This party starts in an hour.

You with me?

I'm Nadine Bevan.

Huh? I'm the clown.

Huh?

Right, well, I'll go inside and make a start, then, is it?

Hiya, Nana Pat, how's your leg?

Oh, bastard, tell him, you auntie van.

Oh, you are, then.

I'll see you in there, then, is there? Aye.

Is it true you were in school with her?

No comment.

Got a cocking license for that thing?

I could ask you the same question.

On the bastard path!

Farewell!

Give me ranks.

Don't be such a snob, Michael Jackson.

They're your family now.

Well, part of it anyway.

Well, yes, you're my wife. Ergo, you're...

part of their family too, no?

Too bloody shay.

Is Nana Pat actually kissing that man?

As in, properly kissing him?

Yep, she properly is.

Mike!

Mike! Oh my God, thanks for coming. All right, all right. Who's out there? It's

my car, Nana Pat.

Michael Caine. No.

Michael Caine. Norman.

Norman. Oh, don't be tough. Now, it's Michael, my ex.

Uh, be honest, say, if Michael is not your bloody ex, thank you very much.

on, Shell.

Not by.

Not on Jackson's special day in front of his little sister and that.

My God, she looks like Jackson, doesn't she, Mike?

What do you think?

One of the family. And that is what today is all about. And I want to

you into mine with open arms.

And legs there, Mike.

What are you joking?

I've already had a few.

Right, coming in, then.

Bonjour, Pierre.

No! It's a birthday present.

No! Don't be ridiculous.

No, I wanted leave, I did. And me.

Brexit all the bastard way back.

Exactly. What the hell have you ever done for Wales?

Do you want a list?

He did, Mom!

You old sicko, huh?

There, I've unpacked it, can't I?

I won't use from March, then, Glenn.

Aye. She sent me a letter last week, she did. Oh, good.

Told me to get on with my life.

Right here.

It's a pretty... No, thanks. No, thank you.

Are you OK?

Yeah. Yeah.

Let me out of here!

Where's the dirty bastard got my daughter up the duff? Oh, Dad, man, shut

Just give the living shite out of it.

My dear, this is my dad, Clive.

Michael! Come here, my son!

Sorry.

Don't worry. I've got to go and change Holly.

Clive can come and sit for you.

So, no, don't worry.

Christ, look at me.

Filling up, yeah?

Bromley and Croydinga, my dad account.

Look, look, look!

Actual real tears, yeah.

where my grandson can get his good luck from now.

Oh, you cheeky sod, he's my kid and all.

You

have

been such a good girl today, haven't you?

Yes, you have.

It's going to be lively down there nowadays.

Mike will just stop rain from doing a strip.

Oh, good God.

Swig of rocket fuel?

Nah, you're all right.

Me and Zoe are going to head off in a bit before all gets out of hand.

Good idea.

Hey, pass me them socks.

Come here.

I'll do this.

I'll fight for this.

I forget

you're a dab hand in all this daddy stuff.

I'm going to change a nappy with one hand behind my back and my eyes closed.

Whilst baking a cake.

such a little smiler, and she's proper placid, like Sophie was.

Have you seen this?

What?

I never noticed it before. She's got the same weird thing with her toe. See how

it bends over that one?

Yeah. Like mine. Like yours.

And Rob's.

Stella!

Stella. For God's sake, don't leave me down there. The man's a maniac.

Where do you think you are going, Mikey? Why?

Come on.

We're doing a cake, and I've got a cracking speech.

Stop!

This Holly robs baby.

Hello, stranger.

Dad, you've arrived.

Save the niceties, good boy.

We've got a surprise party to plan for our mother. What's wrong with Daddy's

little girl, hmm?

Oh,

you are so gross.

Hang on a minute, Jack.

I've got a business proposal.

What's it there, then?

You've got to tell him, ma 'am.