Original subtitles

We have been chatting about our wedding, and we'd really love it if... If you

were doing me the honour of being maid of honour.

I'm the best man.

Michael, not you. Really?

Guys, this is Johnny.

We're going to go get a burger if you fancy it.

Hazel said you were endearing.

She wants to book you again. It's quarter to an art gallery, apparently.

No. I'm done with all that.

You're looking pleased with yourself.

Just applied for a job. Oh, about time.

Oi!

Joking.

What's right this time?

I don't know.

I feel like I'm finally getting back on track.

Anyhow, it's early days. I might not even get an interview.

Now, I hope you're hungry because I have made you my special pancakes

with salted caramel sauce.

You are officially the best father in the world.

Mummy, bring the toast.

Yet again?

Is there nothing to book on funglin' factions?

No, but do give me a lend when you find it. It's actually very interesting, and

I've got an exam today, so thanks for caring.

I'm meant to be doing this.

Will you test me? Sorry, Presh, I've got to go to the hospital.

Fine. I'll probably see you in there when I crash my car to try dinner in the

highway cold properly.

Right. Give it here.

What does a sign with an old person on mean?

Watch out for people, obviously.

Brilliant. You passed.

Watch you don't burn the toast.

I'd be better off being raised by wolves. So long.

Security, I am still.

It's Aunty Brenna's first surgery as a counsellor.

Right. And I've been waiting nearly 25 cocking minutes to tell about the flight

tipping round hours.

50 chicken baguettes dumped up my cocking alley.

Husband's stomping.

Hey, Stella, can I have a word?

What? You'll have to come here. I can't leave my post, can I?

Hurry up, man, Carl.

What it is, me and Dean are at the antenatal thing this hour, a class thing

a midwife, and I was wondering, you know, when Ben was born, did you ever

anyone about what happened?

Oh, God, no.

I was a very private and personal man.

Not that you'd remember none of it, Carl, because you fainted spark -cocking

out, didn't you?

Eh? Then you bastard wet yourself.

Yeah, well, maybe I did mention it. Sorry.

Anyway, got to dash.

See you later then, darling.

Morning. Hi, Phil. Hi.

Actually, Dad, I'm staying at Lily's tonight, remember?

Is that OK?

But I was going to do curry.

I know, but... Oh, look, I'll cancel if you like.

No, no, it's OK.

You have fun. Give me a call later, will you? Sure.

Brilliant pancakes, by the way.

You made your child pancakes for breakfast?

Uh, yeah.

Oh, I am such a crap mother.

Good luck with your exam.

Thanks. Oh, and you'll pop over later?

Catch up on things for the hen and stag?

Absolutely. Getting rather good at this best man malarkey.

You know that £200

your mam gave you?

Well, I haven't showed up on the statement.

You did pay her in, didn't you?

What?

Oh, no, um... I meant to tell you, but I didn't in the end. Lou! I just thought,

cos it's cash, like, it's better to keep it handy.

But we're overdrawn.

Yeah.

Right. OK.

So where is that?

Oh, that didn't work. It's at my desk.

I'll pop over to the bank this morning.

OK?

OK.

You will do it, won't you? Cos if we leave... No!

He's off, yeah?

38 Ridge Street.

Yeah, I've got to drop my car behind a bit.

Who's Carly?

Christ, she's the woman buying the car. What's the matter with you?

Mr Dye Davis.

All right, Andy Brenda, here's the thing.

Since I scratched your back when you were running for council, I'd say it was

time for you to scratch mine.

I ain't scratched nothing. What do you think I am, a cat? Now, as you know,

been wanting to expand the car lot, but in order to do so, I need a planning

board.

Take a look at this.

How dare you.

You promised a woman who was staring into the very jaws of death any help

she needed, and all along you were plotting ways to get your empire of evil

the ground.

Well, I'll be no prawn in your power play.

I thought we had a deal.

Carl, get him gone.

Sorry, Di, but I got to do with the bosses, see? My underpinning.

Don't worry, Carl.

I'm going.

The stench of disloyalty in this room is suffocating me.

Ha!

Hello, stranger.

Right. I've got some money I want to pay you.

Excellent.

That's only 200.

I know, but I'm working on the rest. I don't take installments, sorry.

Come on, man.

Give me a break.

You've got till midnight tomorrow.

Oh, and the interest doubles on late payments.

What?

Man's got to make a living, Luke.

I said put down your pen.

Stella Morris.

That means you. If I could just have one more... Turn on the desk and settle

away from the paper.

Do not make me use an approval level of fourth, for I am at total liberty to do

so.

Well,

I have completely failed that.

What a disaster.

It was a killer, wasn't it? Yep.

Still, life goes on.

And next time tomorrow, you and me and our little gang of hens will be...

Ha! Don't think I'll get caught out that easily.

Oh, where are we going? Give us a clue.

It's a surprise.

I'll tell you one thing.

You're going to love it.

Hello?

What's the matter, Pratt?

Something's up with Luke and I don't know what it is.

200 in chips, please.

Place your bets, please.

Last bet.

It's like he's a different person still.

I mean, we always said we'd tell each other everything, but he's keeping

something from me, and I didn't ask him what it is, because I'm afraid of the

answer. Zoe.

What if he's having an affair?

He's not having an affair. This morning he got a text from some woman, Carly.

Who the fuck's Carly? I thought her name was Hazel.

Oh, my God.

He is having an affair.

What? No, no.

He just keeps them company.

And get paid to do it.

What?

He's joined this agency.

A male escort agency.

640, 660, and that's 680, OK?

Thank you.

Pleasure wets, please.

Pleasure wets, please.

He's not answering.

Well, he's probably just busy at the car lot.

I'm really sorry I didn't tell you. I just thought it was for the best.

It's not up to you to decide what's best, though, is it, Stella?

He's my husband.

Thought you'd chickened out on me.

Yeah, well, got held up. Sorry.

You all right? You seem a bit agitated.

Not the best morning.

You can pay me today, can you?

Yes. Cash.

Of course.

Come on.

I was a clean member of her election team, for God's sake, and now she's cast

aside. Well, she's in politics now, David.

And they do change people.

You know what they say?

Power is not given to you.

You have to take it.

Who says that?

Well, Oprah, most probably.

Or Russell Grant.

Sorry to interrupt.

I was just looking for Luke.

We booked a day off today, Zoe, didn't he tell you?

Right. Only I thought we had to take a car to Ridge Street or something.

Don't know about that, do you?

Sorry, love.

Morning. All right.

Good grief.

Please, someone, get me an anodine and a cup of tea.

I'm getting a stress head on me. Oh!

Sorry, Auntie Brenda, but I've got real friends like Alan Williams to help.

Yanto, coming down the cab?

Oh, grow up, for God's sake!

Am I OK to come in?

I think so.

Is this OK?

You look fabulous.

Shall we get started, then?

I know I've missed your payment, but... Yeah.

The thing is, I'm getting married next week, and I was hoping I could buy

some more time.

Alan, me old mucker, you and me need to talk buttonholes, my friend.

And I've been having a think about my speech.

I was wondering about some kind of military theme.

You know, comparing marriage to a battlefield. I've had plenty of

from Auntie Brenda. Honestly, that woman.

I've been meaning to... Just to let you know, the minibus will pick us up at

three tomorrow.

And don't try and get it out of me while we're going.

It's a surprise.

Not keen on surprises.

The last time we went to Bruges with a couple of mates and Melissa's brother.

Bruges is lovely.

Wouldn't know.

They told customs I'd swallowed endangered bird's eggs.

Spent the weekend in a Flemish prison.

Coffee? Thanks.

And then I thought I'd talk about Alan's allergies, because some of them are

quite unusual.

What's this?

A speech.

For the wedding.

Oh, you're doing one as well, are you?

What do you mean, as well?

Di, you do know that I'm the best man, don't you?

No, you don't. I am?

Yes, I am, actually.

No, you're not, actually.

Yes, I am. No, you're not. Yes, I am. That's right.

Calm it down.

Michael Jackson, by the way, you reckon he's going to be your best man?

Actually, I'm afraid that's true.

But I've known you much longer than he has.

Which is why I've got something much bigger for you to do.

Are you?

Yes.

Die Edmund Davis.

Will you do me the honour, on my wedding day, of walking me down the aisle?

You want me to give you away?

Absolutely honoured, but...

Are

you nearly done?

Only my leg's cramping up. There's no need to rush off, is there?

I've got some wine in the fridge.

Or I could ruffle it up from nibbles if you're hungry.

I know I am.

Blimey.

You're really good, aren't you?

I've got a good subject.

Who the hell is that?

That's my wife.

Have you just had sex with my husband?

What? No.

It's not like that. You've got the wrong end of the stick. Oh, my God, you were

at the election, weren't you? Zoe.

Can I call you Zoe? No.

What are you doing making him dress up in weird costumes like that? It's all

perfectly innocent. Luke is really rather a good life model.

But let me reassure you, he is without doubt the worst escort I have ever had.

And I've had lots.

Why do you do it?

Pay men half your age to spend time with you? You're out of order now. I'm out

of order? Are you for real?

Luke, I owe you for today.

No, you're all right. Keep her.

We don't need your money, thanks all the same.

Zoe!

I'm sorry, brother.

Take care, Luke.

A male escort?

What, did he have sex with them?

No, it's not like that. It's companionship with them, isn't it? Yeah,

Hey, maybe I should get this Carly's number, cos if I can't get a job as a

solicitor, maybe someone would pay me for my body.

Well, I knew a bit. What?

You know.

No, Stella, what?

Well, Luke's only 30 -odd, isn't he?

Oh, I see. Too old.

No, it's not that, but... Well, he works out.

Oh, so you're saying I'm too old and too fat?

Right,

look, I've done the maths for tomorrow.

That's the paintball in place of the stags and a beauty spa for the hens.

Thanks.

What about this Mr and Mrs competition thing in the evening? We need to work

some questions.

I've done a few already.

Go on.

OK.

You're going out for a slap -up meal.

Which type of food does she like best?

A, Japanese... Oh, God, no. She hates Japanese.

B, Italian...

Well, I've never known her to turn down a pizza.

Or C, Indian.

Oh, C, definitely.

Chicken balti with half and half and a peshwari naan on the side.

OK, my turn.

What three things do you miss about your partner when you're apart?

Only three.

Yes.

His arm around me in bed when I sleep at night.

His sexy laugh.

His beautiful hands.

His smile, his kiss.

Terrible jokes. They could go on.

Stella.

Mum!

All right?

You'll have to get your own tea tonight, then. Lily, you stopping?

Hang on, I thought Katie was staying with you tonight, Lily.

Yeah, she is.

Well, where is she now?

Providing.

The car was.

I know we're in debt.

But we've always been in debt. What's so different now that you had to resort

to... Oh, God, promise me you didn't touch her or kiss her or anything

Babe, on my life, I didn't.

It just seemed like a quick way to make some cash, that's all. Don't say that,

though. Don't you fucking dare say that at all.

I was desperate.

You have to understand that, Zoe. I owe a lot of money.

I know, for the furniture and stuff, right?

No.

It's more than that.

Luke, you're scaring me now. I've been gambling, OK?

The bookies, the casino, online betting, bloody scratch

cards. You've been going to a casino when?

Just...

It started off as a bit of fun, you know?

I sound like such a bloody cliche.

The thing is, I can't stop.

I thought I could, but I can't.

Every time I win some money, I just want to win more.

And then I lose.

And I still keep going back.

How much do we owe?

It's me that owes it. No, it's us.

Our debt.

How much is it?

The interest's going up all the time.

What interest? Who do you owe it to, for God's sake?

You and Jenkins.

I've got to pay him back by midnight tomorrow.

Two grand.

Where is she, Ben?

Oh, we promise not to see.

Look, she's gone to meet Johnny, OK? Who the hell is Johnny? Lily, you talk like

that. Oh, will you stop?

Katie, it's Daddy again. Just call me back, please.

Hmm?

Is he on her course?

God, no, he's way too old for college.

He's only four years old, I mean.

He's 21?

My girl, it's not that bad.

He's got a two -year -old son.

What is wrong with you? And where are they meeting? Some pub?

She's going to kill me.

You all right about that?

Seriously, hello?

Hello? Can you just stop the crying now, please?

She's taking her bowling.

See, you know I'm in bowling.

And then to the Leonard Hotel.

Oh, seriously?

Oh, God.

Oh, great. So my 17 -year -old daughter is staying in some seedy hotel with an

older man who's already fathered a child.

A Leonard, not seedy. When they were robbed once.

What? For lunch, that's all.

Oh, God, she's not picking up.

She leaves me no option. If Mohammed won't answer the Mountain's phone calls,

then the Mountain's just going to have to get in the car and go and find

Mohammed himself.

You've lost me now, Price.

I'll go to the Leonard.

Um, I don't actually have a car.

Give me that, please.

His name is Katie Jackson.

Well, can you look under his name, then?

Johnny something.

I don't know it.

Yeah, well, you should be sorry, because you've been no help at all.

Look,

you've just got to trust that Katie is a sensible girl.

When you said that about Emma and she got pregnant at 16, I didn't see that

coming. Yeah, all right.

I'm just thinking it's, what, six -ish now, so supposing he's not a total

then at least I bought a dinner first, right?

I don't know.

They don't even bother with dinner these days.

Cheryl, you're not helping. I'm really winding you up.

Look, I know it's hard, but they are allowed a private life. I know that.

But there's a big difference between being private and telling lies.

Actually, that's quite good. I might use that when we get there.

Can't you go any faster?

I mean, if we'd not bought starters, they could easily be on pudding now.

I know we can't really afford a honeymoon, but maybe we could pop up to

District for a couple of days.

We could stay with my cousin.

She lives dead close to Windermere.

Yeah, maybe.

Alan, you OK, love?

Alan, come here a minute.

I'm afraid I've got some bad news.

Are you dying?

What? No.

Alan, what is it?

I'm sorry, team.

I tried my best.

It looks like the cap in my doctor clothes.

Oh, it is nice of you, mind. Fair play.

So, writer of you on TripAdvisor.

Excuse me, where's the restaurant?

Through there, mate.

Mate?

Honestly?

So, do you want coffee or break your thought?

Shall we just go to the room?

I think you've got some explaining to do, young lady.

Dad. What are you doing here? You're coming home with me right now.

No, I'm not.

I can't believe you lied to me. Tell me you're staying at Lily's and then you're

booking into hotel rooms with some random man. Who are you?

I'm Johnny.

Oh, my God, I'm not booked into a hotel room. We're just having dinner here,

that's all.

How embarrassing.

And did you know he's got a two -year -old son?

Yes, he's called Rocco.

We're not staying over, Mr Jackson, are we?

I'm really sorry about that.

Don't apologise to him. I'm the one that deserves an apology here.

Your dad's just worried about you, love, that's all.

Put your jacket on. Dad, I'm not.

Coming home with you. Once we finish dinner, I'll bring her home. I promise.

Your promise, young man, is worthless.

Empty. Fake.

Sorry, I don't know what's going on here, but I'm going to have to ask. I'll

tell you what's going on. I have a duty of care to ensure that the honour of my

daughter is protected.

Oh, my God. And I have a duty of care to ensure that my customers are not

disturbed. Now, if you don't leave immediately, mate, I'm going to call

security. Get off me.

And stop calling me mate.

Come on.

Let's go.

Enjoy the rest of your meal.

My curls.

You can't just leave her in there to be fiddled with by some surfer lout. She's

not being fiddled with. She's having a tiramisu.

And she's 17, Pres.

Can't stop them growing up.

And you're sure they won't be showing a video? I don't want to see the video.

Pack it in, man, Carl. It's only a talk.

And if they do start flashing any for Jojo's, you can always read the paper.

Is he, Rhys?

Thank Christ for that.

Didn't know you had another on the way.

No, Jettons, not me.

I had the slip back in 95, I did, but... Oh, right.

No, it's how Rachel it is. Her fella's done a bunk.

And her grandad's got her to her bed, didn't he?

Right!

Thank you to send her apologies, but she'd gone to visit her mother in Bank

Ellen. So you got me.

Now, I don't pretend to know much on an anecdotal level.

But I know the ins and outs, medically speaking.

And I've compiled some in which I think could be illuminating.

And even a bit of fun.

And A to Z of birth and delivery.

So, when you're ready.

A is for agony.

And yep, it can be.

But get the right B is for breathing in place.

And you'll find you'll become much C is for karma.

Now D is for... I haven't been thrown out of anywhere before.

You were really cool.

Was I? No.

Well, why didn't you stop me?

That's none of my business, is it?

I miss my business being your business.

Do you think she hates me now?

No.

She'll totally get that you have a duty of care to ensure the honour of my

daughter is protected.

I actually did that, didn't I? Yes, you did.

It would have been even worse if you went with me.

Katie, darling, I'm so sorry. That's the most embarrassing thing that has ever

happened to me. You have to see how worried I was.

It's a duty of care to ensure that the honour of your daughter is protected.

What are you, some 18th century aristocrat?

OK, maybe I overreacted a bit, but... Don't speak to me ever again. You've

ruined the whole night and my whole life.

I think I'd better go.

Do you have to?

Yeah, I think so, don't you?

We've got a big day tomorrow.

Oh, good luck.

OK.

Well, thanks, anyway.

Well? This is a thought.

The cafe's finished.

Hasta la vista.

Sayonara. Au revoir.

Arrivederci. Yeah, all right, but we get where you're being.

Look, we don't need to get married yet.

We can postpone it, if you like, until next year.

Don't be daft.

Well, we have more money.

She's got a point, you know.

We are not postponing nothing.

Do you hear me?

We're going to enjoy ourselves today and put all this nonsense behind us for

now. Deal?

Deal.

But promise me you're not going to go overboard on this wedding.

You'll keep it simple, won't you?

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

How much?

280, with both merchants.

My hand feels weird without it.

I'm so sorry, babe.

I'll get it back, I promise.

Yeah.

Morning. Morning.

Come on, Katie, bus is here.

You have told them there's a pregnant woman in the party, haven't you?

Yes, Nadine, I've told them.

Because I'm pregnant, see?

Yes, you have mentioned that.

Have fun, darling.

Oh, dear.

Speak to her for me, will you?

She'll listen to you.

OK. Right, come on, Adele. Right, enjoy yourselves.

You too.

Where are we going, Stel? Wait and see, nosy Rosie.

So you know where we're going, then? Well, of course, I do. I live with her.

Hey, you're so cocky and vigorous, isn't it?

Oh,

I just had a text of Zoe. She's not coming.

Oh, really?

Some people just won't make the effort.

Come on, then. Let's hit the road, then.

Here we go.

Oh, what's a chocolate willy? Oh, yes.

So we tell them. So we tell them. We are the very.

We are the very.

Very, very, very.

Your attention, please, gentlemen.

Now, some of you may be wondering where we are. We are. Well, all is about to be

revealed. So, soldiers.

Well, that is what you are.

Be prepared.

Because it's going to get pretty tough out there.

How tough?

Hang on.

What's going on?

Look.

Paintballing. I'm really sorry. I think me and Michael must have mixed up.

Fantastic. I've always wanted to go paintballing.

Have you?

Yeah, I think we've messed up. Yeah, but have we, though?

Could Celia be for the moon?

Well, so is Alan, actually.

Great. Well, I won't tell if you won't.

Well, enjoy being annihilated.

Yeah, enjoy being pampered and massaged and weighted on hand and foot.

Oh, yes.

All right, you horrible lot.

Some people call this a game.

This is not a game, say it.

This is not a game.

Some call it a hobby.

Knitting is a fucking hobby. This is not a hobby, say it. This is not a

hobby. And it's time to meet your opponents.

Be afraid, because they're a nasty bunch.

Well, who are they then, Scotty?

Morris, Brackton, Aunty Brenda.

Cheryl, what are you doing here?

He's my girl.

Ponderberry Jiu -Jitsu Junior.

Pivot to unbeaten in every paintball battle ever fought.

Let the carnage come in.

Treatment for Celia?

Eh? She means you, Al.

Oh, right.

Bring her on.

So they're going to stick these candles in my ears and set fire to them?

They do come from the ancient American Indians, do they?

No, they do come from the cat and carry of Triorchi.

I'm all yours.

This way, Celia.

They'd better not be lead -based to paint to them balls, I'm telling you.

Because I'm pregnancy.

stance gone.

To a spa.

Oh, that's brilliant.

God, you, Michael, are so clever.

Thanks.

How do I look?

Absolutely terrifying.

You know what?

You know what?

All units on blue 14!

All units on blue 14!

There's a foggy in the bushes.

There's a foggy in the bushes.

Night, night, night.

Night, night, night.

Oh,

are we still alive?

I'm not even sure anymore.

Listen,

about last night.

Oh, total humiliation.

I know.

Your dad was so freaking out for you, that's all.

Well, he should trust me. All we were doing was having dinner. We were never

going to stay the night.

What? I'm a Ponteberry girl, Prash.

There's not a lot I don't know about lying to your parents when you want some

lovely, filthy sex with your boyfriend.

Oh, overshare.

Seems like a nice bloke, though.

Yeah, he is.

Well, so's your dad.

Don't be too harsh on him, eh?

Ah!

Bastard!

If the Botox makes you look five years younger and the chemical peel makes you

look ten years younger, then you know what I'm thinking, don't you?

Look, if I get both, that'll make me look like I'm 32.

Win -win.

I thought a Brazilian was the type of cocktail.

All right, bubs.

All I want to do is get back home.

Maybe one day buy me a farm, raise some cattle, have some kids.

I don't want to go out like this.

Not like this.

We're almost out of time. If we stay too long, the stags will get to the Chinese

buffet before us.

Well, we can't have that.

We're just going to have to commit and fall into it, mate.

I'll stop the engine.

It's been a pleasure serving with you all.

Let's go!

Jujutsu Juniors win yet again.

Mission accomplished.

Army dismissed.

Oh, that was brilliant.

Oh, speak for yourself.

My backside's all bruised and an out -of -date nectar in.

Oh, my God.

What? You know that little sexy surprise I booked? Yeah? Well, I've kind of

forgotten to cancel it.

I didn't know kickers was a thing, am I?

Sorry, fellas, I'm contractually obliged to complete my routine.

All the way.

...of my whole entire life.

All I'm saying is I hope that paint wasn't lead -based, because if it is,

be suing for their pregnancy.

How are you doing over there now, in the nether region, like?

In agony, Glenn.

I bet you it's nice and smooth, mine.

Oh, hi.

Dad.

You've survived, then.

I'm sorry.

Oh, Katie.

God, babe, you look disgusting.

Is he having a stroke?

He's had a chemical peel.

And Botox.

He's worried he's too old to be a father and that he'll be no use to man or

beast at the birth of his child.

Well, you're not even going to be there, babes. I'll be here.

Huh? No, she asked me ages ago, sweetheart, to be a birthing partner.

The point you're risking wetting yourself again?

No.

You first. No, you first.

You know what I find most difficult about a buffet?

Just knowing when to stop.

A bit like your thirst for power, I should imagine.

Look, David, maybe I was a bit harsh, but what you'll never understand is it's

tough at the top, and I'm a woman of integrity.

Having said that...

I'll make a few phone calls in the morning, see what I can do about this

plan in permission, is there?

Right, now, pass me one of them chicken water calls.

Dumplings.

Luke!

Oh, I'm so glad you made it.

Everything all right now?

How could you do it, Luke?

That 200 quid was literally the last bit of money I had and you...

Bloody gambler, whether you... He's got a problem still.

He needs us to help him, not be angry with him.

Yeah, well, you're a lot more patient with him than I am. Maybe that's because

I'm his wife, not his mother. This isn't helping.

What's going on?

Luke, you're £2 ,000, and you've got to pay it back by midnight.

Bloody hell.

Well, look, I'm overdrawn myself, but you can have what I've got.

Michael.

£80. Thanks.

I'll pay you back.

Oh, this is terrible.

I know.

I'm so sorry, Mum.

You've got to see this. Celia's won the Ice Bucket Challenge.

The Ice Bucket Challenge is so 2014.

And I nominate for the Ice Bucket Challenge...

Any guest who doesn't come to our wedding dressed as a character beginning

A or C.

Right.

Okay, Yanto.

Go on.

Go on, Yanto. Go on, Yanto. Go on, Yanto.

I told you, Luke, I don't do instalments.

But it's nearly 500.

That's a quarter of what he owes you.

First thing Monday, my boys will be round your house.

See what saleable goods you might have for me.

Oh, no, you can't.

Please don't do this.

Make sure you're in.

Oh, tell me it'll all be all right to Luke.

It'll all be all right. Good night. Night.

It's still my baby, see? I know. You mustn't worry.

Hmm.

Night, well.

Night. Yeah, night.

So... You know, I've started the job hunting again. Well, I've got an

on Monday.

That's brilliant.

Yeah, it's a senior partnership.

The company's called Stanfield Blake.

Sounds posh.

Where do they base Pardiff, is it?

Well, that's the thing. They're, um... They're in London.

Wow. I mean, it's early days and I'm sure that I'm going to see other people

it, but I'm not going to... London.

That's really exciting.

Yeah.

Right. How are you doing?

Listen, uh... You know I wouldn't do this unless I was really, really

But, uh... Well, I am. I'm, uh... I've fucked things

up pretty badly, to be honest. And I was just wondering if there was any chance

you could help me.

Because I really need you, Dad.

I don't know what to do.

You are not going to believe this.

What? Rob's flying back?

Today? Yes.

I've now got 250 balloons that are completely useless.

Alan and Theo.

Show me your driving licence.

I can't.

You're under arrest.

My problem started the day you moved in next door and ruined my life.