Original subtitles

You've got to promise not to tell anyone.

Scout's honour.

You done this before?

What, made a sandwich?

Yes, I have.

One day I noticed that the manager, daring at me, in that way that men do.

We can fly and look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look.

Don't you get to eat at work?

Chefs don't eat. We taste.

Yes, Chef.

To you, Katie.

Are you back tonight?

Yep. Mum's going paintballing with her yoga group.

Don't ask.

Oh, good luck with your exam today.

Yeah.

Oh,

it's Maya.

Oh, look, I've got to go.

It's hell -easy. They've just kicked off.

I'll see you later.

Oh, I won't now.

Come on, get up that college and see if they let you enrol. Pointless. There's

no courses I like.

Besides, studying's a waste of time. It is not a waste of time.

Look at Michael.

He's read all them books and now he's frying eggs down Big Al's cafe.

Morning, Del.

All right, Sue?

Not really.

Jack was in all night with us. Wouldn't settle.

Michael's got to get a banister on downstairs.

I mean,

I nearly slipped again on the way down.

Yeah, I don't think it's meant to have a banister.

It's because it's minimalistic.

See you, Jack.

Bye, Daddy.

Right, good boy, you are coming up the hospital with me.

Have you gone total tonto? They're doing a trial shift for porters today.

So? So, if you don't want to educate yourself, you can find out what a proper

hard day's work's like.

Now, move it.

Move it?

Careful, you don't have that better too quickly.

I don't have to make a holiday sauce, thank you.

Right then. Bradman!

Sorry about that. We need three eggs benedict, two bacon sarnies, two cheese

omelettes. What benedict? Do they get gammon? Do they... You've got to stop

that, son. It's confusing the customers and Nadine's having a breakdown. So just

talk English, yeah?

Fine. Michael, three benedicts. Yes, sir.

Remind me why you do it again? I could do this all on my own.

Don't be like that, man.

It's posh now. She's pulling on it.

Quick, for some salad cream on two cotton porches.

Cock it. I'll have a plate of chips. They've got a gag in for a bit of bath

breakfast. Do I do that?

Aye, chips.

Tyson! The cotton sauce down.

Bonjour, Bob.

What'll it be?

Eggs Benedict.

Excellent, Jess.

Tyson!

Little cotton shit.

To take away, please.

This is my terror.

Stella Morris.

Don't worry about the Morris bit.

We're neighbours now, aren't we? As I've previously stated, persistently

alluding to the proximity of our living quarters will not carry no favours.

Especially in this afternoon's practical exam.

But I wasn't... Rule one, page one, leave you a personal life at the door.

Which leads me to ask, why you dragged your son to work today?

I haven't dragged him nowhere.

Offends you to apply for the porter's job.

Fine. Take a place against the wall.

Is she going to shoot me?

Good luck.

Oh, great.

The door off is closed, is it?

No choice.

If I don't accept this interview, they'll stop my wedge.

Three strikes and you're out with a rock and roll these days, Benny boy.

When you're a grown -up, you'll understand.

Right, you two, follow me.

You're together for the day.

More salt.

I've not added any yet.

Well, you should have.

I wasn't aware there was an optimum time to do so.

Whilst whisking, it enhances the flavour.

Yeah, sure. All right. Ten minutes.

Hey, I've got an affair for Moon. I'll be back in a bit.

You're taxing again.

Well, you know, keep my hand, just in case.

Will you two be able to manage without me?

Excellent. Right.

See you in a bit.

That's what adult tucker -tops have to say about them.

Well, you can imagine.

Stella Morris, why is your son here? It is a hospital, not a place for human

beings. So, for waking up in the morning, yellow card.

For breathing at work, yellow card. For daring to even exist, yellow

card.

Terrible.

Insubordination. My office, 1700 hours.

Good morning.

Morning, Auntie Brenda.

Good to have you back.

Good to be back, kid. I'm far too young and vibrant for early retirement.

Bobby's up for it.

Up for what?

Luke Morgan.

Die's having a poker night.

Poker night?

Special invite only.

No riffraff, no chit -chat, just the elite of Ponteberry.

It's still right for me to join you.

You'll be serious, mine son.

Well, I'd better get out there and sell some cars then, because I want in big

time.

Oh, but not a noise to Zoe like. She don't approve of gambling.

So I take it I'm not invited to this watch a call? I'll be operating in the

evening on the once -seemed code of poker conduct.

Strictly no ladies.

Oh.

So, of course, you can come.

Bacon sandwich, please, love.

And three waffles.

Burton, the young man.

And don't worry, babe. This one's on me.

I know you're going to cash.

It won't be for long.

But, Carl.

What I know.

I'll soon be back on my hands.

I know, love. I believe in you.

Taylor and Burton, that's us.

What, dead?

Norman, a team.

I am the wings and you are my wings.

You've got to sign on, you know, Carl.

Never. No Morris, never claim for nothing.

Don't be daft.

Your father's been on invalidity for 20 years.

All he did was catch a cold down Fort de Gary Lido.

No man calls a Morris a shirker.

I'll get her some dosh, Nats.

Trust me.

Your wind is strong.

Out of my kitchen! I simply cannot work like this. Sorry, Michael, but chefing's

a young man's game.

So you... Sacking me, little Alan?

No. My father is.

Mike? Yes.

I'm seeing a partner. The hiring of firing a staff is not my remit. Staff?

Come on, son. We don't even pay him. I mean it, Dad.

It's him or me.

Michael,

I hate to do this, but... Let me save you the bother.

And you, pack your stuff and get out or you're sacked.

What? You can't sack me.

I'm your father. This is my bloody business. You're in the blooming way all

time. Don't be so ridiculous, man. Excuse me, please, Alan.

See you now. And you keep putting things down where they shouldn't be. No, I

don't. And you keep eating the toast. It's a vote for the catcher. Will you

listen?

I'm going for a drive.

Cool off, will you?

to the hospital I am.

Right. Check up on my ape. Every time I take a step, it sounds like someone's

crunching crisps.

Nasty. Half day, is it?

Yeah, something like that.

My Glen never had it so lucky.

A real gruster he was.

Twelve hours shift.

It was a hard place to survive.

Down the mines.

Butlins. Ten years of Redcourt.

Never again.

Hi, Stella.

Just checking on where little Raymond Blank is getting on.

Good, yeah, all going well.

Mm.

What are you cooking up now?

Oh, just, uh... Um, I've got to go. Big order just in.

Go for him, cowboy!

Mwah! Bye.

You alone?

Yes. Why?

Very enigmatic. What is it?

Tonight.

Poker. Only serious players.

No riffraff, no chit -chat. My place at nine.

You in?

Well, I'll, uh... I'll have to check a second with Stella and get back to you.

Do you?

Do you, man? Who wears the trousers in this house?

Or should I say the marigolds? Ha -ha! Ha -ha -ha -ha!

Well, it's only been a day, and I guess I could say it feels like a week.

And what I thought was wrong, how I miss it now is gone.

I struggle to find my feet.

Some things are meant together, and some things are better

apart. Some things are easy when I'm done.

Don't panic.

Deep breaths.

Oh.

Who's there?

Don't do this.

Come in.

It's open.

What the hell are you doing up there?

Just changing the light bulb.

Could take some time.

Tricky job.

Right.

Whatever. Anyway, look.

Take this.

Poker, tonight.

White place at nine. No riffraff, no chit -chat.

Top secret.

Knock, knock.

Only me.

I hear there's a game of poker on tonight.

Who from?

No can tell, die.

An ex -soldier's lips are as tight as a tambourine.

Who from?

Auntie Brenda.

Typical. I decide who's coming, not her.

So am I in?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine.

Alan, are you?

Aye.

Oh, I'll check and see if Cedar's all right with it.

What is it with the men at the very? Are you a man or a mouse? What? Where?

Can you see it? Have you seen it? Oh, God, has it gone? Oh, God, tell me it's

gone. What the hell is wrong with you, boy?

Nothing. I'm just a bit anxious, that's all. I want the

light bulb change to go well.

Nice and smooth, like, no hiccups. It's a big job.

Now, what do you mean, Al?

It took me the best part of a week once to wire a plug.

Got to get these things right.

Good God, it's like seeing a ghost.

Here we go.

Morning, Auntie Brenda.

From down by there, I thought her Sean was back in town.

He wore leather and drove a watch on him, but he was much younger than you.

You aged as I got nearer.

Thank you. Thank you for that.

I can't chat.

I'm only back from work because I remember I'd left the heat thing on.

Why aren't you in work? I thought you were stuck in a... The

thing is, I've been a right grumpy git with him lately. I can hear myself

nagging. All right.

It's not this way.

Ma 'am, this is the way to the chapel.

Turn back on yourself and take the first left.

Told you.

Poor kid.

You'd think they'd have started him off on a live one.

Lift!

Don't beat yourself up about Michael.

You only know what's best for him. I know.

But Jan used to nag him day and night, apparently. Oh, God, tell me I'm not

turning into the ex -wife.

Stop it.

You couldn't be more different.

There you go.

And he loves you. I can see that.

He'll come too.

He's a good man, your Michael.

A responsible man.

Yeah.

It's just with the calf and the cabbying and we were just taking on too much.

You know, we wanted to be the one boss.

Do you want to sit up for me, love?

It's all pressure, though, isn't it?

Look, you are Al is a fighter.

He may seem like a big softy, but trust me, when his chips are down, he's brave

and strong and fearless.

Of course we're both lucky, really. Of course we are.

Hey, let's do something nice for them tonight.

I could keep my nurse's uniform on.

Michael quite likes it when I... I mean together.

Oh, no, I wouldn't go that far. Do you mind?

I mean a meal.

At ours.

Oh.

A takeaway. Less hassle.

I'll get some wine.

I'll get some chocolate.

A double date.

Well, I'm glad that's sorted.

Kecker's money was that way.

It's this way now, come on. I told you it was to the left. I said you was in

charge.

Muppet. Tosser.

No, I'm telling you, it's this way. No, it's this way.

Please tell me that man is dead.

Do you have an explanation for this?

Ben?

What's going on?

I'm dealing with this, Nurse Morris. You're dealing with no power.

I've got my paper sign to say that I've turned up, so you can stuff that stiff

up your arse as far as I care.

I'm off.

And you?

Oh, he's staying.

Is he yours?

Yes.

He's a good boy, really.

Help me return the juice to the trolley, please.

Of course.

Do you want the head or the feet?

Just take the lower limbs, please.

You got any kids yourself?

No. Too busy, is there?

You married?

No. Just as well, the hours you work.

Not much time for a family life.

That's the thing with you, a job.

Must be hard to find someone who understands, I should think.

Because you've got to make sacrifices, haven't you?

Oh, God.

I've gone too far, haven't I?

I've embarrassed you. I always do this.

You hate me now, don't you?

I don't hate you.

Yeah, you do. I can tell.

I assure you, I don't.

Good

afternoon.

Bloody thing.

Why, Mr Solicitor?

I haven't seen you in the cock before.

Beyonce, you worked here? Spot on. Look.

Still got your details.

Case of emergencies like.

Right. Good.

Good. So?

I'll have a red wine. Merlot, if you've got it.

We've got two types of red, cold or warm.

Um, whatever's open.

Good choice.

Nice place.

I practically grew up here.

Your family owned it?

No, but my mother used to leave me in the car outside with Pop and Chris when

she spent afternoons on the last with her latest boyfriend.

Oh, right.

Oh, yeah.

I just left the cock, me.

law firm. You look too young.

Well, it must be the exfoliator. Three times a day and four at weekends.

So, you working on anything big at the moment?

Yes, I am, as a matter of fact.

Well, can you tell me what it is, Mr. Jackson?

Or can I call you Mike?

Sure. Mike's fine.

But no, I can't.

Client confidentiality is absolutely paramount in the legal profession.

Confidentiality is totally key in my line of work, too.

Anything will be safe with me, Mike.

Promise?

OK, well, strictly between us.

I am on my way back from the very delicate drawing up of a will where the

client, an old farmer, has £400 ,000 in used notes stuffed in his mattress. The

thing is, he wants to leave it all, not to his wife.

But to his prize, Bull.

You're joking me.

Correct.

So, people, at the bottom of my bed, you'll see a medical printout.

The information and stuff on there should enable you to diagnose my phantom

condition.

Any questions?

Where's Blackstone?

No, I don't think so. Speak up. No, I don't think so. Speak up.

No, I don't think so.

Have the rest of you got it?

Yes, ma 'am.

Once you've worked out what's wrong with me, you can move on to Mrs Wong.

No conferring.

Exam conditions apply.

Stella Morris, begin.

Right.

Blood pressure, high.

And you're shaking a bit.

And you've got a slight rash on the back of your hand. Don't touch me. Look at

the notes.

And on your arms. The notes, Morrie. Very irritable also.

Diabetes. You've got type 1 diabetes.

Wrong.

Pancreatitis.

But your rash.

The fruity breath.

Wrong. Wrong.

Come on, Stella Morris.

Right, I see.

Shaking of the limbs.

Foaming at the mouth.

Certainly a fit of some kind, epileptic maybe.

Oh, and she's grabbing her left arm.

Heart attack.

Wrong, chicken pox.

No, heart attack.

No, it's clearly... show she got chicken pox, Delamore.

No, I mean she is having a heart attack right now.

Mr. Honey, move away. We've got a coroner at the Robert. He's a haul at

at the bone.

Stand back, please, everybody.

Get me an FB3 of blood gas and cardiac enzymes.

BP 90 over 45.

Crash cart, please.

Crash cart's on its way, Mr. Honey.

Down the side, people. We've got an emergency situation.

Emergency.

Thank you, Sister Sprague. Charge to 150.

Charge in.

Ready. Ready.

Ready.

Clear.

Right,

we have a stable rhythm.

Let's get her to the cath lab.

Good.

Well done.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Like I said, no riffraff, no chit -chat. So what do you mean, second thoughts?

I've been thinking about my cousin, Gwynvor Mastiff Gumbler.

What's he got to do with it? He's been clean for 20 years now on.

Lost at first out to Alwyn, the Arab, him from Tylertown.

Talk of the perilous past, ain't I?

Butcher, Bobby.

Are you in or out?

Oh, go on, then. I'm a thugger for a bit of danger.

Hiya, Carl.

All right, Carl.

Word on the street is there's a poker night going down.

Where do you hear that?

On the street.

Which street?

The street with the word.

What word?

The one with the... Look, is there a game of poker on tonight or what?

There is.

Who told you?

Say no more.

Please die.

I'm a bit skinners at the minute.

I want to buy someone nice for Nart, like a treater.

What do you say?

Another. Oh, why not? I don't want to spell the myth about drinking lawyers.

But you're not a lawyer.

Was the last I heard you got a job flipping burgers in Big Al's camp?

Hardly rumpy of the bailey, is he?

Rumpole, actually.

Whatever, burger boy.

What the hell are you doing here, cackers?

Cackers. You knows it's cackers.

You're barred, remember?

Oh, cackers.

You've got bog roll on your shoe.

Nice try.

I don't give a toss. Well, you do, Mike.

The shoe I like.

This one... is on me, OK?

Well, on the house, anyway.

Yes, it's a common treatment for cardiac dysrhythmias.

Come again?

It's saved a lot of lives.

But how does it work, like?

Well, it delivers a therapeutic dose of electrical energy to the heart.

You mean you get the proper electrocute done?

Oh, mega. Mega indeed.

You can come round here.

Stella Morris.

It's 1700 hours.

My office.

Now... There.

Wish me luck. Good luck.

Get on.

Another? I would, but I'm actually a bit crap at afternoon drinking, so best get

a cab, I think.

OK. Oh, one thing before you go, though. Do me a massive favour and help her

shift her crate out back.

I got no help from Dick. Sure.

Right, where is it?

Where's what?

The crate.

Oh, never mind that.

I found something else need doing.

Let's see what else I can find, is there?

Stop, stop.

I need a taxi now.

I am so sorry about this morning.

My impersonation.

It wasn't big and it wasn't clever.

It probably wasn't that good.

Forget about this morning.

Of course, I'm sorry.

You've had a huge shock, we all have.

How is Mrs Wong, by the way? I know you're very close. Forget about Betty

She's hard as nails.

Before she set up her business empire, she travelled to this country with

nothing in her pocket but 20 woodbine and a toothpick.

She'll pull through.

Okay, well, I better... You were correct.

Sorry? Your diagnosis in the practical exam.

Between these four walls, that door, the floor and the ceiling, you were

correct. I do have diabetes 1, which is being treated with the appropriate

medication. And under no circumstances are you to mention or discuss it ever

again. Understood?

It's nothing to be ashamed of. A sergeant can never show any weakness.

not a sergeant. You're a nurse and a really good one. You showed up today.

Look, if you ever want to talk... Meeting over.

1706.

Dismissed.

Sorry to me.

Probably the last person you wanted to see after what just happened.

What do you mean?

This morning, in the Catholic.

Yeah, well, you'll have to do. Just get me home, yeah?

What's that putty you've got all over your head?

Floral mortar.

Self -raising.

Long story.

Look, I'm sorry about little Alan's behaviour this morning.

You left him to run the ship alone, then?

Not really.

You see, after he told me to sack you, he, er, sacked me.

So, how was it then? The cock?

It was different.

I see Beyonce's back there working.

Who? The barmaid. Oh, right.

She can be a bit of trouble, you know, that one.

Yeah, I got that impression.

Hey, you gonna die deep with this poker game tonight?

Try and stop me. Love my poker.

You? Definitely.

I haven't told Celia yet, but she's good as gold, like, lest we do anything.

Hi there.

All right, lad?

All right.

I didn't know that.

No, of course not.

Sounds great.

Nice idea.

Bye.

You're coming to yours for dinner tonight.

you don't mind me and your dad going out tonight, then?

No, of course not.

Oh, look, ma 'am.

Mr. Honey told me I'd find him, yeah?

Oh, look at the size of that one.

Implantable, that is.

Defibrillators?

Don't tell me you've got the medical bag after today, do you?

Hey, that's what you should go and sign up for in college.

Chemistry.

Well, you'll need it for medicine.

Then you get to blow stuff up.

Not medicine.

Machines. That's what I want to do.

What?

Technology. The cutting -edge stuff.

Like an inventor.

I've got to admit, though, he's the dog, isn't he? Who? Mr Honeyman.

He's all right.

Last time I looked at a six -form prospectus was 30 years ago.

A week later, I found out I was pregnant.

Well, relax, because I'm not.

There you go. The technical design.

Told you. Brill. I'll sign up tomorrow.

Hallelujah. One thing.

What?

I need to be able to drive, so perhaps you could pay for some lessons, as well

as Michael taking me. Don't push it.

Oh, here he is.

How is my little chef?

Desperate for a coffee.

You had a hard day?

Sort of, yeah.

Have you been drinking?

No.

Well, just the one on my way back.

I don't think Jamie Oliver would approve of booze in the kitchen.

Now, with all them knives and things around.

I haven't been in the kitchen.

Where have you been, then? What is it? The Tanish Inquisition?

Oh, I'm sorry, because I nag him.

No, it's not you.

I was sacked.

What? What?

Turns out I wasn't needed after all. Thought I'd go for a ride, cheer myself

Solding bike broke down.

Been at the garage all day.

Still there now.

Oh, you're not having much luck at the minute, are you, Prej?

Don't feel sorry for me, please.

This is all my doing.

You know, I will support you whatever you do.

But you're a lawyer, Michael, not a chef.

Tell you what, why don't you go and put your feet up and I'll make it a nice

little pizza?

Please tell me there's a good explanation for this.

Well, of course there is.

There was a real problem, big like, with the water pressure this afternoon.

Nothing, not even a dribble.

So I fixed it, obviously.

I would have tidied this lot up, like, but I got an urgent fare from the cock.

Lucky I was at home, really.

Lucky? Other than the blitz, we're luckier than this.

Why weren't you in the cafe today?

That was fact.

Well, little Alan thinks exactly.

A load of nonsense, Brett.

Right.

You, clean yourself up, get this place sorted. We've got guests tonight.

And you, re -employ your father immediately.

No way.

No way?

You need him for the days you're in college.

He just gets under my feet.

Do it now.

Too late.

Re -employ your father or there's no PlayStation for a week.

You start tomorrow at eight.

Don't be late.

I love this bit.

The build -up, the apprehension, the danger in the air.

Orange, squash, any one cheesy path?

Just that squash, perhaps, and me have never got on.

Tonight is to celebrate some big news.

You know Dixie's Field?

Top of the willows. Indeed.

Prime Valley's woodland.

And guess who's just bought it?

Would we know him?

Or is it a woman?

Me. Me -man. What the hell have you done that for?

Bought a bog and some waste land, what's them?

Drunk widow?

Absolutely not.

He was going for a song.

You, gentlemen, and you are looking at a landowner.

Who the hell is that?

The table's full.

Not yet, it's not, good boy.

I thought you needed some high rollers, so I stepped in for you.

You what?

Coming in, Scotty.

All right, everyone.

Ah!

How are you doing?

Andy Brenda tells me there's a bit of fucking action in the berry tonight.

Mind if I pull up a chair? Come on.

Crazy car.

I know, but we've met loads of times.

Oh, nice one.

And this is Luke.

I know him, too.

We know each other, man.

Oh, my boy.

Ah, I didn't know that.

Stepson, really, but with a thicker dance, didn't we?

Went always like that, mine.

When I first started courting his man, he couldn't stand a sight of me.

Used to punch me in the face and everything.

Spat in my ear once.

Did I?

Look, I'm sorry to interrupt the stroll down memory lane, but can we get on,

please? Aye.

Two quid in, yeah? Two quid.

Here we go, two quid.

I've got no cash.

Only this.

The shirt on my back.

Right, you lot.

Let's play cards.

I mean,

at that expense, why could you do a pack all the time?

You know, high blood pressure, sugar... Alan,

what's wrong, love?

Sorry, I heard the door.

Before it was knocked? I'll get it.

No, I'm fine.

I'm sorry. Sorry, I've got to go. I've got to go.

OK. OK.

Ten are ahead.

And remember, I am getting you as Mr Jackson.

You've had a hard day, haven't you, Prash?

Not great.

Feels like little Alan's upset quite a few people today, eh?

Oh, it's not just that.

He's quite broken as well.

Sorry about that.

My arm.

Tight elbow.

Happens every so often. It's an old rugby injury.

I'll sort this lot out later.

Anyway, as I was saying, been in the garage all afternoon, haven't you?

Have you?

Yes, I have.

Alan,

what is going on?

I'll cover your three look.

And raise your fiver.

Who do you think you are, don't you, there? Minnesota Fats?

Fats play pool, not poker.

It's not the game I was referring to.

We can see that.

I didn't realise you were so cold, are you?

Fold.

Oh, me too.

And me.

Fold. But you own half a Ponteberry.

That is maybe.

But you don't poop about with Lady Luck, eh?

So,

just you and me, son.

The old pot is riding on this.

Or, shall we say, on you.

I'll see you.

A pair of kings!

All ours.

Yes!

Poor little

thing.

Come on. Out you go.

So that's it? A mouse?

Just that much.

Been like this since I was a kid.

Look at the size of me.

Ridiculous. No, it's not, aren't it?

I mean, take me. I got an aversion to honeycomb.

What? Honeycomb?

It freaked me out, the shape of it. I can't stand it. The way it's so neat and

the thought of all them bees making it and being so neat.

You're weirdo.

So what about you then, Gorgia?

Any confession?

What? No, nothing.

I don't have a...

No phobias?

Fears? Pretty boring, I'm afraid.

Who's that?

Your girlfriend, is it?

No,

it's Katie. She wants to lift from swimming tomorrow.

Right, now, that's the veggie one, OK?

Shall we just mix it all up? Yeah, absolutely.

Do you want to chop them?

What are you doing here?

Why do you keep texting me? What do you want?

Oh, I got what I wanted last night, didn't I?

I don't know where you've run off to, but come on, if I can apologise

OK?

I've got a little surprise for you.

Dad, what's going on?

No, look, I know it looks really bad.