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1
00:00:18,510 --> 00:00:19,510
She smiles.
2
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:58,480
I stretch my hands out to the sky and we
dance like monsters through the night.
3
00:01:53,420 --> 00:01:54,420
and toilet.
4
00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:57,780
No garden, but there's a balcony.
5
00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,600
What's a balcony?
6
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:00,960
A shite balcony.
7
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,200
Yeah.
8
00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:04,780
The rest of it looks nice, though.
9
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,320
Yeah, they wanted two months to pause
it.
10
00:02:08,539 --> 00:02:09,539
Oh, bollocks.
11
00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:13,440
We'll have to be patient, that's all.
Save up a bit.
12
00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:15,300
Where are two of the bowls?
13
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,380
Ask Michael. He's been decluttering.
14
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:22,280
Who's breakfast?
15
00:02:23,630 --> 00:02:25,010
I literally have no idea.
16
00:02:26,010 --> 00:02:27,550
Luke, will you take us driving later?
17
00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:28,930
Not today, but I go work.
18
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:30,950
I'll never pass at this rate.
19
00:02:31,170 --> 00:02:32,310
Well, you know what you want to do, Ben?
20
00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:34,950
Go on one of them courses where you pass
your test in a week?
21
00:02:35,170 --> 00:02:39,430
No. Go up Ponteberry College and
register for sixth form.
22
00:02:40,990 --> 00:02:42,230
To be continued.
23
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:45,750
Oh!
24
00:02:48,350 --> 00:02:51,350
All right, rain man.
25
00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:54,530
I thought you'd already gone. I'm trying
to, but first I want my breakfast,
26
00:02:54,630 --> 00:02:58,110
which, by the way, is the most important
meal of the day. Is that your medical
27
00:02:58,110 --> 00:03:01,630
opinion? But I can't have my breakfast
because someone has moved the spoons.
28
00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:04,050
Just trying to bring some order to your
chaos.
29
00:03:04,290 --> 00:03:05,290
My chaos?
30
00:03:07,870 --> 00:03:09,290
How is your office?
31
00:03:10,030 --> 00:03:10,989
It's OK.
32
00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:13,170
I don't like to moan, unlike some
people.
33
00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:15,210
Hey, play nicely. It's my first day.
34
00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:16,530
Of your second year.
35
00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:18,130
Well, I'm still allowed to be nervous.
36
00:03:18,570 --> 00:03:20,250
Come on, what's the worst that can
happen? You...
37
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,680
Accidentally kill a patient, there's a
trial, it's all over the papers, and
38
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,380
people start yelling murder at you in
the street.
39
00:03:25,700 --> 00:03:27,000
The booms, Michael.
40
00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:29,020
Kitchen cupboard, bottom left.
41
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,360
Thank you.
42
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:35,560
So, you're smart, you're hard -working,
and you're great with people. You'll be
43
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:36,560
fine.
44
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,440
But if you do get sacked, make sure you
keep the uniform.
45
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,520
There she is, getting into her car, as
bold as a builder.
46
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,040
Morning, Aunty Brenda.
47
00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:55,140
Oh, there'll be no morning, Aunty
Brenda. Not till you've explained the
48
00:03:55,140 --> 00:03:56,140
of that.
49
00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:58,220
Michael have found a buyer for his
house.
50
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,800
I can read, good girl. I want details.
51
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,200
Oh, I'm late as it is. I've got no time
for that.
52
00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:05,820
Fine.
53
00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:10,080
He got an offer last week. It was less
than what he wanted, but the buyer said
54
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,620
he could move quick, so Michael have
accepted, and they are exchanging and
55
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,140
completing on Friday. Happy now?
56
00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:16,119
Not remotely.
57
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,260
I haven't met him yet. Neither have I.
Does it matter?
58
00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:19,990
It could be anyone.
59
00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:22,990
Swingers, doggers, Nazi war criminals.
60
00:04:23,290 --> 00:04:24,930
What would that do to house prices?
61
00:04:25,510 --> 00:04:26,810
I've got to go. I'll see you later.
62
00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:32,110
Well, I'm willing to overlook you a
slapdash approach to the property market
63
00:04:32,110 --> 00:04:34,750
you'll do me a favour and put these up
round the hospital.
64
00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:40,710
Room to let, non -smoker, no vegans or
fancy type.
65
00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:42,050
Are you getting a lodger?
66
00:04:42,930 --> 00:04:45,250
When times are hard, you've got to
diversify.
67
00:04:45,670 --> 00:04:46,830
Deborah Meaden told me that.
68
00:04:54,030 --> 00:04:57,410
Le Café de Les Allens. It's definitely
distinctive.
69
00:04:57,890 --> 00:04:59,650
Exactly. No one's ever called a café.
70
00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:01,290
I looked it up on Google.
71
00:05:01,530 --> 00:05:02,530
Aye.
72
00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:04,070
This is a new start, love.
73
00:05:04,490 --> 00:05:08,610
Another chapter in the book called
Things Done by Alan and Little Alan.
74
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,690
That's not a real book, mind. It's just
been poetic.
75
00:05:12,490 --> 00:05:14,250
Eh? Big day for you too?
76
00:05:14,530 --> 00:05:15,530
Yeah.
77
00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:17,130
Listen, look.
78
00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:20,270
Hey, Stella.
79
00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:21,770
You coming tomorrow night? Big opening?
80
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:23,760
Wouldn't let it for the world, Trash.
81
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,820
I'd dry cleaned my posh frocks.
82
00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,420
Right, ready now, Frasca?
83
00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:29,840
Ready as I'll ever be.
84
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:40,220
All right, isn't it, Dad?
85
00:05:41,060 --> 00:05:42,060
Yes, sir.
86
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:44,620
Shall I say a little, Al?
87
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:48,320
As one door closes, another one opens.
88
00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:53,970
Do you want me to open it again? No, the
moment's gone.
89
00:06:05,070 --> 00:06:07,930
Edith, this is what you know about
nursing.
90
00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:11,170
You might think you know this, but you
don't.
91
00:06:11,390 --> 00:06:12,390
You know this.
92
00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:15,670
Now, this year's going to be tough.
93
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:20,070
You're going to be on your own a lot
more without me there to hold your hands
94
00:06:20,070 --> 00:06:21,070
and wipe your bums.
95
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:24,470
Some of you will not cope.
96
00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:28,050
Others, we'll have to wait and see.
97
00:06:30,710 --> 00:06:31,710
Celia, is there?
98
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,310
Yes.
99
00:06:33,430 --> 00:06:36,870
Celia's returning back into nursing
after, ooh, how long is it now? Oh, I
100
00:06:36,870 --> 00:06:41,730
few years. Speak up. I did a few years
of training, but I had to stop in 2009.
101
00:06:42,270 --> 00:06:44,230
Going to help me whip this lot into
shape, you?
102
00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:47,450
I'm sure you don't need any help. Of
course I don't need no help!
103
00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:50,430
2009 is in the dark ages.
104
00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:54,610
Nursing's moved on so much since then,
you probably know less than they do.
105
00:06:55,890 --> 00:06:58,710
That said, welcome back.
106
00:07:00,110 --> 00:07:01,110
Right.
107
00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:02,350
Follow me.
108
00:07:04,610 --> 00:07:07,950
These are your placements for the next
term, so listen up, because I will say
109
00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:08,950
this only once.
110
00:07:18,380 --> 00:07:21,880
And remember, just because they're old,
don't mean they're nice.
111
00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:24,240
Do you remember that?
112
00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:27,000
General Ward, with me.
113
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,600
Right, before we start...
114
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,060
I just want to say this is very much a
temporary situation.
115
00:07:39,380 --> 00:07:42,460
I'll be able to move into a proper
office when my house is sold.
116
00:07:42,820 --> 00:07:43,820
To the swingers?
117
00:07:44,180 --> 00:07:47,800
What? Aunty Brenda said you're selling
your place to a pair of swingers.
118
00:07:48,180 --> 00:07:49,560
No. No much.
119
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:50,880
It was doggers.
120
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:52,780
Doggers. Sorry.
121
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:54,780
Firstly, they're neither.
122
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:59,380
Secondly, if I can just finish off what
I was saying, I know the room seems a
123
00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:04,120
bit pokey, but I have 20 years'
experience, and I can assure you that
124
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,140
still get a top -quality legal permit.
125
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,020
So, how can I help you?
126
00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:11,460
We'd like to make our last will and
testament.
127
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,880
Ben! Sorry about that.
128
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:25,880
All right, so who would be the main
beneficiary of your... Stop for a
129
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:34,700
Who would be the main beneficiary of
your will?
130
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,940
Our little boy.
131
00:08:44,420 --> 00:08:49,120
Right. You've got Mr. Kidney failure and
you've got Mr. Diabetes and Anemia.
132
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:50,300
Now, get to it.
133
00:08:52,220 --> 00:08:53,560
Morris, right then.
134
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:56,720
See him there?
135
00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,200
That is God almighty, Mr. Honey.
136
00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:02,240
He rules this ward.
137
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,500
with a rod of iron held with a fist of
surgical steel.
138
00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:08,460
You never, ever address him directly.
139
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,040
You speak to me and me alone.
140
00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:13,100
Then I'll speak to him and you'll be
asked.
141
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:14,700
Compliment?
142
00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:18,900
Hmm.
143
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:22,560
Er, Mr Chesney, is that how you say it?
144
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:23,800
Chesney.
145
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,440
Chesney.
146
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:32,600
I need to take a blood test after that.
But I'm not... I don't
147
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,620
want to... Don't worry.
148
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,040
I'll be quick.
149
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,400
Hopefully.
150
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,480
And who do we have here?
151
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,080
Stella Morris.
152
00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:44,860
The patient?
153
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:49,040
Apologies, Mr. Honey, this is... Mr.
154
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,100
Jersey, presented with symptoms of
fainting and nausea.
155
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,640
So you're doing an FBC and blood
glucose, yes?
156
00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:00,790
Yes, that is correct.
157
00:10:02,690 --> 00:10:04,050
Have you got a squint or something?
158
00:10:05,630 --> 00:10:08,230
No, I was addressing, sister.
159
00:10:08,510 --> 00:10:09,510
Well, go on then. Hurry up.
160
00:10:11,350 --> 00:10:14,330
I'm not a... Don't. It won't hurt. I
promise.
161
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,090
I'm not a patient.
162
00:10:20,110 --> 00:10:21,870
I visit my brother.
163
00:10:45,710 --> 00:10:48,370
The grand opening is tomorrow night at 7
.30.
164
00:10:48,770 --> 00:10:53,810
Tomorrow night, 7 .30.
165
00:10:54,930 --> 00:11:00,450
Now, the food is free, but the bar is
paid. So to... Food... Free...
166
00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:06,790
Bar... Is... P... A...
167
00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:08,690
I... Yeah, do you have to write
everything down?
168
00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:10,130
Oh, I'm a little bit of a detailer.
169
00:11:10,610 --> 00:11:12,750
Called it then, like Sherlock Holmes,
but without the hat.
170
00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:29,400
Look at this blender, Dad.
171
00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:30,820
Titanium coated.
172
00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:33,340
Top of the range. Only 600 quid.
173
00:11:34,340 --> 00:11:35,360
What is that?
174
00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:40,000
The burglar alarm, look. Security is
paramount.
175
00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:41,329
I laid down on my coats.
176
00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:43,830
Come off it, man. This is pot to bury.
Who's going to break in?
177
00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:47,730
If you rob anyone in Abu Dhabi, Carl
said they'd take no prisoners.
178
00:11:47,990 --> 00:11:49,530
Literally. Cut your hand off.
179
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,570
Or maybe... Either way, they don't re
-offend.
180
00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:53,870
How much you spend?
181
00:11:57,010 --> 00:11:58,130
Really? Two grand?
182
00:11:58,890 --> 00:12:00,290
Sorry, this is all going to have to go
back.
183
00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:04,530
Hey, pick that up. That means you as
well. But you, down, down. Out, out.
184
00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:06,750
Dad, I need these things.
185
00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:08,950
You should go to the covered market in
Nice.
186
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,440
They've got everything there. They're
cheap. I am not kitting out my kitchen
187
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,320
from an epoxy cupboard market in Neath.
188
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,520
Gordon Ramsay doesn't go to Neath.
189
00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:20,980
He's a chef.
190
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,500
Temperamental, like.
191
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:31,120
Whereabouts in Neath?
192
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,880
Di Davis, it's 9 .30. Where are you?
193
00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:37,460
Shaming it is.
194
00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:38,800
Shaming. What is?
195
00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:42,810
Here I am taking in lodgers to make hens
meet.
196
00:12:43,070 --> 00:12:47,570
And Di Davies can't be bothered to turn
up to work or to clean up after himself.
197
00:12:47,890 --> 00:12:49,430
Who does he think he is? Bono?
198
00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:51,390
Have you seen him today?
199
00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:56,170
Bono? You are not so old I can't put you
across my knee, Luke Morgan.
200
00:12:56,490 --> 00:12:58,010
Di Davies, of course.
201
00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,990
The work shy little squirrel.
202
00:13:00,510 --> 00:13:02,150
No, I haven't seen him.
203
00:13:08,940 --> 00:13:09,940
All right, Nurse Dracula?
204
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:11,340
Oh, God.
205
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,040
That's not what people are calling me,
is it?
206
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,240
No, just me.
207
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,980
Well, I can't be the first person to
take blood from the wrong patient.
208
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,000
You must have heard of someone doing it
before.
209
00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:21,860
Yeah, if you like.
210
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,640
See you at this, will I, ladies?
211
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,660
Self -defence and taekwondo?
212
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,160
Nurses have always had to be handy with
their fists.
213
00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:32,520
Florence Nightingale boxed for Oxford.
214
00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:34,140
Is it part of the course?
215
00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:36,700
Earth's call in 2009?
216
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,350
No. You're officially part of the
course.
217
00:13:40,830 --> 00:13:42,290
If you don't want to come, that's up to
you.
218
00:13:42,570 --> 00:13:45,770
But up here, I make a note of everyone
who turns up.
219
00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,210
And everyone who can't be bothered.
220
00:13:54,130 --> 00:13:57,570
All I'm saying is if we did a rota, then
you and Luke and Mum could take it in
221
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:00,790
turns to take me driving. Can we talk
about this later? I may have a pass at
222
00:14:00,790 --> 00:14:02,490
this, do we? No, I've got clients to
see.
223
00:14:02,710 --> 00:14:05,510
Of course you're bastard angry. I
dropped your cock in Monster Munch, you
224
00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:07,170
Bloody kids, eh?
225
00:14:07,690 --> 00:14:11,510
Can you fit me in? I want to talk about
my niece's seat to be shafted by a boss.
226
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:15,130
Michael, quick question. Is it illegal
to pretend to be a dentist?
227
00:14:15,530 --> 00:14:16,489
Why would you ask that?
228
00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:17,329
No reason.
229
00:14:17,330 --> 00:14:19,250
But if it is, I might be in a whole
world of shite.
230
00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:20,830
Do either of you have an appointment?
231
00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:23,690
I tried talking to you, but my phone
wasn't... That's what it's like.
232
00:14:24,010 --> 00:14:27,110
Can you just go into the car and I...
Quiet!
233
00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:30,750
Thank you.
234
00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:34,410
I am trying to run a professional
business here.
235
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:44,100
I've friendly documents round, birth
certificates in checks of details,
236
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,280
the lot.
237
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:51,300
Resorting to physical force should only
ever be resorted to as a last resort.
238
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:56,140
If you carry yourself in the right way,
then an act of aggression like this
239
00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:57,620
would be completely unnecessary.
240
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:02,260
The best way to avoid physical violence
is to be aware of your surroundings and
241
00:15:02,260 --> 00:15:04,020
be prepared to react in a heartbeat.
242
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,020
Take Mrs Wong by ear.
243
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,440
She do have the reaction speed of a
mandarin cat.
244
00:15:10,020 --> 00:15:13,260
So she's always ready for anything in
her life to throw at her.
245
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:17,160
Hey! All right, calm down now, love.
246
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,080
Panic over.
247
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,420
I got everything we need and at half the
price.
248
00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:25,620
Where from?
249
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:26,660
Is that really important?
250
00:15:27,220 --> 00:15:29,660
And does it matter where or when or how?
251
00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:31,100
You've been to Neath Oven, have you? I
have.
252
00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:34,480
But don't worry, this is all quality
stuff. I got you this whisk.
253
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,080
Thingy that's left -handed? I'm right
-handed.
254
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:43,880
I got your pots and pans and your scales
and, hey, look, I got this gizmo for
255
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,140
me. Dad, you don't smoke.
256
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:49,620
I know, but, you know, it goes with the
French thing, doesn't it?
257
00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:52,060
I'm not going to puff on it, I'm just
going to hold it.
258
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:54,420
Sophisticated, like, eh?
259
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000
Eh?
260
00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:00,260
All right, love?
261
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:03,420
Just checking, you and little Alan
haven't killed each other yet.
262
00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:05,230
Oh, we're getting on great guns.
263
00:16:05,510 --> 00:16:06,610
We're the 80s, aren't we, son?
264
00:16:08,970 --> 00:16:10,830
So, how's your nurse, Brackie?
265
00:16:11,110 --> 00:16:12,390
Oh, fine, I think.
266
00:16:12,950 --> 00:16:15,230
Just survived an encounter with Bruce
Lee.
267
00:16:15,710 --> 00:16:16,529
You what?
268
00:16:16,530 --> 00:16:17,449
Oh, nothing.
269
00:16:17,450 --> 00:16:18,450
I'll tell you later.
270
00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:19,850
Just as long as you're OK.
271
00:16:20,290 --> 00:16:21,590
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Couldn't be better.
272
00:16:21,890 --> 00:16:23,570
Dad? Yeah, got to go.
273
00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:25,510
Gordon Ramsay needs me. Bye -bye.
274
00:16:26,630 --> 00:16:27,630
Where's the herbs?
275
00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:29,030
Right here, man.
276
00:16:29,170 --> 00:16:31,950
You know, I got your sage and sorrel.
277
00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:33,660
Whatever that is.
278
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,740
A rose of pepper and, look, a big bag of
salt.
279
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:41,120
I tell you, it's like Aladdin's cave in
that market. I've even got us a burglar
280
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,120
arm, eh?
281
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:44,440
That's a blender, eh?
282
00:16:44,780 --> 00:16:46,000
What are these symbols on the side?
283
00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:49,720
Ah, now, us Chinese, that is. They make
everything these days.
284
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,800
But don't worry, I've gone through the
manual.
285
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,880
This squiggly line that looks like a hat
stand, that's your on button.
286
00:16:56,260 --> 00:16:59,000
And the one that looks like an angueter,
that's your off.
287
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:00,480
Which is which?
288
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:02,520
Angueter?
289
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:03,760
That's that.
290
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,040
Go on, I'll get it working now.
291
00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:35,229
Go on, then.
292
00:17:35,230 --> 00:17:36,230
Test us.
293
00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:38,330
The theory questions for the driving
test.
294
00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:40,870
Jensen Button over here thinks she knows
more than I do.
295
00:17:41,070 --> 00:17:42,590
I don't think I know.
296
00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:46,050
Put that away, Luke, and serve him up.
Ben, will you give Michael a shout?
297
00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:47,550
Michael!
298
00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:49,370
That's not quite what I meant.
299
00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:54,230
Five messages I've left for that side,
David, and he's still not replied.
300
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:59,550
Disappeared off the face of the earth,
he has, like sugar in a Pringle sweater.
301
00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:04,110
Oh, this is nice, isn't it? It's proper
family dinner like the old days.
302
00:18:05,170 --> 00:18:06,670
Ben, we're eating.
303
00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:09,210
Mum, can I have dinner in my bedroom
with my laptop?
304
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:12,890
No. Hey, don't leave him alone with the
internet. He'll go blind.
305
00:18:13,610 --> 00:18:15,390
He won't be able to read the number
plates then.
306
00:18:15,710 --> 00:18:16,850
Oh, man, tell him.
307
00:18:17,170 --> 00:18:21,470
Oh, are we going up on a little belly
boy, are we? Oh, get off.
308
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:34,760
Dinner's on the table.
309
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:36,720
Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be down now in a
minute.
310
00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:39,140
Do you want me to bring you a plate,
sir? Do you mind?
311
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:42,900
God, I love you.
312
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:46,380
Oh! Bloody room.
313
00:18:47,180 --> 00:18:48,180
Not long now.
314
00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:52,220
As soon as you've found that door, you
can get a big flash office and a taxi
315
00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:55,620
secretary. I don't know how a flash
office I can get. I won't be much on the
316
00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:59,120
health. And you know what they say,
small acorns grow from...
317
00:19:00,659 --> 00:19:02,280
Fields of all sorts, I think.
318
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:03,500
You're just so wise.
319
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:09,440
I know it's not ideal at the moment,
Prash, all of us under one roof, but I
320
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,440
quite like it.
321
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:12,060
It's like when the kids were little.
322
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:13,260
It's cosy.
323
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,500
Well, that's one word for it.
324
00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:21,940
I'm fine.
325
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:25,920
Anyway, I'd better get back to it.
326
00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:48,500
I gave it. It's me again.
327
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:50,100
I'm loving you.
328
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:54,000
Isn't the right thing to do?
329
00:19:56,040 --> 00:20:00,400
How can I win? Oh, take it from me.
330
00:20:04,260 --> 00:20:06,440
Are you sure about this? Of course I am.
331
00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:10,800
You need more room in there, right? We
have files and you need to walk, no?
332
00:20:11,020 --> 00:20:12,020
He definitely knows what he's doing.
333
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:14,120
Almost certainly.
334
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,500
Right, I've got to run. I'll get you
into the hospital and I'll meet you at
335
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,500
party.
336
00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,700
Alan's Cafe, the big opening.
337
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,480
Try and have a little shave before
tonight, is it?
338
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,300
Is everything all right in there?
339
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,480
Evil wars are like cow filly.
340
00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:41,360
The cheese, not the tongue.
341
00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,180
I'm going to need a bigger drill.
342
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,880
Can I use the room in the meantime? We
need to get on.
343
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,680
You remind me of myself, Mike.
344
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:52,300
A man of action.
345
00:20:53,380 --> 00:20:56,760
You know, I was once lost in the jungles
of Cambodia.
346
00:20:56,980 --> 00:20:57,980
It's going to be a long story.
347
00:20:58,140 --> 00:20:59,680
Medium to long. Any chance I could wait?
348
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,420
Message received and understood.
349
00:21:09,860 --> 00:21:10,860
Oh, great.
350
00:21:19,150 --> 00:21:20,150
Come on.
351
00:21:20,770 --> 00:21:23,510
Which one of these should we prepare?
352
00:21:23,870 --> 00:21:25,550
Swan or the chevron?
353
00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:28,250
Impossible on Tuesday.
354
00:21:28,810 --> 00:21:29,870
We're both stunning.
355
00:21:30,190 --> 00:21:31,190
Aren't they, Art?
356
00:21:31,330 --> 00:21:33,010
No. I'll ask Lil' Alan.
357
00:21:33,650 --> 00:21:34,650
Lil' Alan!
358
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,440
but it should do my head in.
359
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:03,740
It's working, isn't it, all this stuff?
360
00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:06,760
Actually, it's pretty good.
361
00:22:07,340 --> 00:22:08,340
Thanks, Dad.
362
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:09,400
I'm sorry.
363
00:22:11,500 --> 00:22:11,860
What
364
00:22:11,860 --> 00:22:19,460
do
365
00:22:19,460 --> 00:22:20,119
you think?
366
00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:21,120
One or two?
367
00:22:27,340 --> 00:22:30,860
Unhealthy or really unhealthy.
368
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:34,360
I'll sod it.
369
00:22:38,700 --> 00:22:39,700
Oh, come on.
370
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,060
Aren't you a bit too old to be stealing
sweets?
371
00:22:57,260 --> 00:22:58,260
It's all stuck, it has.
372
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:03,640
I can just reach up there.
373
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,280
Oh, flipping heck, I've got cramp.
374
00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:07,240
Relax your arm.
375
00:23:08,060 --> 00:23:09,260
I said relax.
376
00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:10,700
Oh, God.
377
00:23:11,660 --> 00:23:12,660
No.
378
00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:14,900
Pull.
379
00:23:15,140 --> 00:23:17,180
Ah, you bastard.
380
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,500
Sorry, not you. Mr Henny, the machine.
381
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:25,420
I would never call you a bastard,
despite what some people know.
382
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,360
that anyone called you bastard.
383
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:28,560
Well, not to your face, anyway.
384
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:29,840
Oh.
385
00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:31,440
Now I've upset you.
386
00:23:31,860 --> 00:23:32,860
No.
387
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,040
I'm being paged.
388
00:23:37,380 --> 00:23:39,040
You probably think I'm a total donut.
389
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:50,320
Cheers, Michael.
390
00:23:50,420 --> 00:23:51,420
You're a star.
391
00:23:57,450 --> 00:23:58,770
Keep your eyes on the road, okay?
392
00:24:00,770 --> 00:24:02,730
Should I go across the roundabout?
393
00:24:03,090 --> 00:24:06,290
Round it, preferably, but yes, keep
going as far as you like.
394
00:24:11,310 --> 00:24:12,310
Nice one.
395
00:24:21,650 --> 00:24:22,650
On your break?
396
00:24:22,950 --> 00:24:23,950
Yeah.
397
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,900
So I spent most of it on my knees in
front of Mr Honey.
398
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:28,520
Ooh, going for a promotion?
399
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,040
No.
400
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,400
My bloody vending machine had broken
again. I'm starving.
401
00:24:34,820 --> 00:24:36,140
Well, at least you'll be hungry tonight.
402
00:24:37,860 --> 00:24:39,460
Are they all getting on up there?
403
00:24:39,980 --> 00:24:40,980
I'm not sure.
404
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,880
You know what Alan's like when he's
under pressure, especially if they leave
405
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:44,539
to it.
406
00:24:44,540 --> 00:24:48,020
Yeah. My children see him. He's one big
ball of stress at the moment.
407
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,060
Finding it a bit cozier, us all living
together.
408
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:52,720
That's not for long, is it?
409
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,180
Thing is, I don't have a problem with
it.
410
00:24:55,940 --> 00:24:58,600
Won't be long before they all move out
and the house will be full of empty
411
00:24:58,600 --> 00:24:59,600
rooms.
412
00:25:00,620 --> 00:25:04,380
Oh, God, am I being depressing?
413
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:05,680
Very.
414
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,020
Come on, I know what you need.
415
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:21,660
It's all a question of... ..coming.
416
00:25:24,430 --> 00:25:25,430
You're a genius.
417
00:25:25,870 --> 00:25:26,870
I know.
418
00:25:27,010 --> 00:25:30,290
You'd be too late to do that, then.
Misspent youth. Not much help for doing
419
00:25:30,290 --> 00:25:30,889
-a -mouth.
420
00:25:30,890 --> 00:25:31,950
What else do you fancy?
421
00:25:33,230 --> 00:25:34,230
I don't know.
422
00:25:35,650 --> 00:25:36,650
Stealing, isn't it?
423
00:25:37,090 --> 00:25:38,090
Yeah, it is.
424
00:25:39,890 --> 00:25:40,970
Bag of ravels?
425
00:25:42,930 --> 00:25:47,190
So, when everyone's here, we'll turn the
house lights down and then I'll do that
426
00:25:47,190 --> 00:25:48,510
thing with a glass to get their
attention.
427
00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:58,100
Then I'll say, hello, good evening, and
welcome.
428
00:26:00,340 --> 00:26:03,120
Just a little joke to warm him up.
429
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,600
And then I'll do my speech.
430
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:06,880
Dad, I've got food to cook.
431
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,460
When Carl didn't make speeches, he
always made them rhymes.
432
00:26:09,780 --> 00:26:11,060
No matter what the occasion.
433
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,260
And my nan at home really even found a
rhyme for chronic cystitis.
434
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:16,560
Gifted he is.
435
00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:18,280
Oh, my God!
436
00:26:24,010 --> 00:26:25,010
It's not happening.
437
00:26:27,030 --> 00:26:28,030
Oh!
438
00:26:32,170 --> 00:26:37,130
Stella Morris, you were acquired back on
duty 93 seconds ago.
439
00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:40,570
Sorry, I got a bit, um, caught up.
440
00:26:40,790 --> 00:26:44,590
I won't have you taking advantage of my
good nature just because we'll be living
441
00:26:44,590 --> 00:26:45,590
on the same street.
442
00:26:45,770 --> 00:26:47,210
Sorry, I'm not following you.
443
00:26:47,410 --> 00:26:48,910
Your auntie Brenda needs a lodger.
444
00:26:49,130 --> 00:26:50,170
I'm moving in with her.
445
00:26:52,620 --> 00:26:56,040
I'm going to have to be twice as hard on
you from now on, just to show I'm not
446
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,100
biased. It's only fair to the others.
447
00:27:01,060 --> 00:27:01,979
Hey, hey, hey!
448
00:27:01,980 --> 00:27:04,020
I ain't being poked around no more,
right?
449
00:27:04,220 --> 00:27:05,220
If you could lie back down.
450
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,500
I ain't lying, I ain't sitting, I'm
nothing else. I'm going home. What have
451
00:27:08,500 --> 00:27:09,620
here? You won't stay in bed.
452
00:27:09,820 --> 00:27:11,140
Big up. You won't stay in bed.
453
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:15,200
Sir, I must ask you to return to your
bed calmly, quietly and immediately.
454
00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:16,700
Piss off.
455
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:17,920
Very well.
456
00:27:18,140 --> 00:27:21,960
But I must warn you, I'm trained in
seven different martial arts.
457
00:27:22,190 --> 00:27:28,370
including bok foo, kung foo and... I'm
not reacting.
458
00:27:28,690 --> 00:27:30,350
Let go of her right now.
459
00:27:30,770 --> 00:27:31,649
Make me.
460
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:32,650
I'm keeping calm.
461
00:27:32,770 --> 00:27:35,390
Dewey Phillips, what the bloody hell do
you think you're doing?
462
00:27:35,690 --> 00:27:36,529
Who's asking?
463
00:27:36,530 --> 00:27:37,950
Stella Morris, that's who.
464
00:27:42,150 --> 00:27:46,550
All right, Mrs M? Never mind that, good
boy. I think you want to be apologised
465
00:27:46,550 --> 00:27:47,890
then. Sorry.
466
00:27:49,450 --> 00:27:51,190
And what are we going to do now?
467
00:27:55,350 --> 00:27:56,350
Thanks.
468
00:27:57,410 --> 00:27:58,530
Is he a friend of yours?
469
00:27:59,190 --> 00:28:02,550
No. I used to babysit him. Soft as
butter, really.
470
00:28:03,230 --> 00:28:04,770
You ain't going to tell my mum, are you?
471
00:28:05,230 --> 00:28:06,670
Well, that depends on you, doesn't it?
472
00:28:09,530 --> 00:28:10,690
Thank you, nurse.
473
00:28:11,570 --> 00:28:12,570
Morris.
474
00:28:12,950 --> 00:28:13,950
Stella.
475
00:28:14,210 --> 00:28:15,390
Stella's my first name, obviously.
476
00:28:16,190 --> 00:28:18,690
Morris. That would make me a bloke.
477
00:28:19,790 --> 00:28:20,790
Wouldn't it?
478
00:28:21,770 --> 00:28:24,070
Why can't we do an emergency stop? In a
minute.
479
00:28:24,310 --> 00:28:25,910
All I've been doing is driving up and
down.
480
00:28:26,190 --> 00:28:27,790
Do you mind moving the car for me a
second?
481
00:28:28,030 --> 00:28:29,150
Will you go easy on the gears?
482
00:28:29,450 --> 00:28:30,450
I am.
483
00:28:32,210 --> 00:28:33,169
Sorry, mate.
484
00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:34,350
Assistant. Assistant?
485
00:28:34,650 --> 00:28:40,130
Yes, I'm having a few issues with the
photocopier. But I can assure you that I
486
00:28:40,130 --> 00:28:43,030
will be just... What the hell are you
doing?
487
00:28:54,540 --> 00:28:55,540
Have you seen this man?
488
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:57,940
Maybe you was cooking with the wrong
temperature.
489
00:28:58,320 --> 00:28:59,660
No, it's the ingredients.
490
00:28:59,900 --> 00:29:00,900
It's got to be.
491
00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:03,300
This is quality stuff. I mean, look at
the, what do you call them?
492
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:05,900
Sorrel. And this salt.
493
00:29:06,380 --> 00:29:07,420
50 % off.
494
00:29:07,980 --> 00:29:08,980
Bargain.
495
00:29:09,460 --> 00:29:11,560
Bar salt.
496
00:29:12,660 --> 00:29:15,220
I've been cooking with bar salt.
497
00:29:16,340 --> 00:29:17,580
Maybe we could say he was deliberate.
498
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:19,900
Fancy food like thingy.
499
00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:22,820
That's from Bloomingdale. He doesn't
cook with bar salt.
500
00:29:23,530 --> 00:29:25,110
He did goat nostrils once.
501
00:29:25,830 --> 00:29:27,370
Just as disgusting, if you ask me.
502
00:29:28,090 --> 00:29:30,170
I'll just have to start again and buy
new ingredients.
503
00:29:31,610 --> 00:29:32,610
We can't, sir.
504
00:29:32,930 --> 00:29:33,930
We're totally broke.
505
00:29:34,010 --> 00:29:35,770
What? Look at all this stuff I bought.
506
00:29:36,110 --> 00:29:38,110
Take the bloke in the market, give it me
for nothing.
507
00:29:38,310 --> 00:29:39,750
Well, you're going to have to get food
from somewhere.
508
00:29:41,450 --> 00:29:42,450
Wait.
509
00:29:42,730 --> 00:29:43,850
I may have a brilliant idea.
510
00:29:49,950 --> 00:29:51,370
No, it's gone. I got...
511
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:53,240
I know what we can do.
512
00:29:55,340 --> 00:29:56,600
We've had a nightmare at the cafe.
513
00:29:56,980 --> 00:29:59,360
And the thing is, we're supposed to open
in like five minutes. And there's been
514
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:00,360
a problem with Blue Bubble.
515
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,340
Don't know what. And the thing is, we
really need some food.
516
00:30:04,660 --> 00:30:05,660
Edible glitter.
517
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,300
Tinned figs.
518
00:30:07,500 --> 00:30:10,560
From a proper, genuine Arab I knew in
Derby.
519
00:30:11,180 --> 00:30:12,960
Roadkill. I washed the grit off.
520
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:14,840
Mostly.
521
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:16,940
Carrot and sauce.
522
00:30:17,420 --> 00:30:18,760
Two of your five a day.
523
00:30:28,530 --> 00:30:31,030
Do you ever go and try to do it again?
Is that right?
524
00:30:31,350 --> 00:30:33,090
Why do you have to shout like that?
There has been lorry.
525
00:30:35,610 --> 00:30:36,610
Bloody thing.
526
00:30:36,630 --> 00:30:38,250
Yanto! Not long now, Bert.
527
00:30:38,790 --> 00:30:39,910
Just a few more holes.
528
00:30:43,870 --> 00:30:44,870
Hello?
529
00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:46,510
Hello?
530
00:30:49,110 --> 00:30:50,110
Sorry, sorry, I can't hear.
531
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:53,440
What? Why?
532
00:30:55,060 --> 00:30:56,060
Oh, that's brilliant.
533
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:57,400
That's just brilliant.
534
00:30:58,260 --> 00:31:00,040
Yeah, it's awesome being sarcastic. What
did you expect?
535
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:01,760
Look, I'll call you back later.
536
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:03,400
What's happening?
537
00:31:03,460 --> 00:31:05,280
Well, this date hasn't. The buyers have
pulled out.
538
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,640
The survey found dry rot in the walls
and it's going to cost a fortune to fix.
539
00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:12,040
Which means they can't sell the house
until we do, but they can't afford to
540
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,340
it fixed because they don't have any
money, which is why it's selling the
541
00:31:14,340 --> 00:31:15,340
in the first place.
542
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,340
Yes, I'm aware I'm ranting, Zoe, and I'm
sorry.
543
00:31:17,780 --> 00:31:18,780
Yento!
544
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,000
Yento!
545
00:31:32,139 --> 00:31:33,540
Told you them walls were shite.
546
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:53,840
Fresh garlic bread.
547
00:31:54,020 --> 00:31:58,820
The food's free, but they pay for the
drink, all right?
548
00:31:59,020 --> 00:32:01,120
You do know it says free food and drink
on the poster?
549
00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:04,680
No, it says free food, full stop, and
drink. It's very clear.
550
00:32:05,180 --> 00:32:06,600
So where to is the food, then?
551
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:08,320
It's coming.
552
00:32:08,380 --> 00:32:09,380
It's coming.
553
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,180
Excuse me. On its way.
554
00:32:13,700 --> 00:32:14,700
Alan.
555
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,180
Alan, you're going to have to calm down
or you'll start scratching. You know
556
00:32:18,180 --> 00:32:18,979
what you're doing.
557
00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:20,060
What the hell's he doing in there?
558
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:21,800
Calm, Mr. Genius.
559
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:23,600
I can't keep them waiting much longer.
560
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,040
Don't think about the very folk when
they're hungry. They can get very ugly.
561
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:32,040
You pacing up and down isn't going to
make it go any quicker.
562
00:32:33,140 --> 00:32:35,800
Take this water to table ten.
563
00:32:36,900 --> 00:32:37,900
All right.
564
00:32:40,820 --> 00:32:41,659
How's he doing?
565
00:32:41,660 --> 00:32:42,660
Not good?
566
00:32:43,300 --> 00:32:44,800
Have you started the scratching?
567
00:32:45,140 --> 00:32:48,340
Not yet, but if he's going that way...
We are late, mind.
568
00:32:49,150 --> 00:32:50,430
Talking witch, where to is Michael?
569
00:32:50,730 --> 00:32:51,910
He should be here by now.
570
00:32:52,570 --> 00:32:54,750
Yanto, is Michael at home?
571
00:32:54,990 --> 00:32:56,310
And he's not picking up the phone.
572
00:32:56,610 --> 00:32:59,790
My lips are sealed with wax like a mini
baby bear.
573
00:33:02,290 --> 00:33:08,810
I've left message after message telling
him to call me, but still not to pick.
574
00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:10,330
It'll be two days now.
575
00:33:11,010 --> 00:33:12,350
Cheeky cotton bastard.
576
00:33:12,670 --> 00:33:15,310
I mean, how much longer do I have to
wait?
577
00:33:15,690 --> 00:33:16,770
Do my best, all right?
578
00:33:20,910 --> 00:33:24,250
I'm sorry, little lad, but they told me
to get the mouth out, yeah? I heard one
579
00:33:24,250 --> 00:33:25,910
woman mention a stampede. Hold on.
580
00:33:27,210 --> 00:33:29,310
Daddy? I don't know. I just don't know.
581
00:33:32,950 --> 00:33:38,690
Braised rabbit casserole in a rich fig
gravy, caramelised carrot puree and...
582
00:33:38,690 --> 00:33:41,430
straw garnish.
583
00:33:42,510 --> 00:33:43,510
Hello.
584
00:33:48,110 --> 00:33:49,110
Hello.
585
00:34:08,650 --> 00:34:09,770
Ladies and gents.
586
00:34:13,130 --> 00:34:15,650
Sorry for the delay, as you know.
587
00:34:16,010 --> 00:34:17,889
We've had a little bit of trouble today,
but...
588
00:34:18,639 --> 00:34:20,179
Sorry, can I just have a bit of hash,
please?
589
00:34:20,580 --> 00:34:22,239
Thank you.
590
00:34:22,500 --> 00:34:23,500
Thank you.
591
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:25,320
Oh!
592
00:34:30,780 --> 00:34:32,679
I think the thieves have gone.
593
00:34:33,260 --> 00:34:34,260
OK, hang on.
594
00:34:38,100 --> 00:34:40,320
There we go.
595
00:34:40,540 --> 00:34:44,139
Right, well, first of all, I just want
to say a big thank you for coming.
596
00:34:44,540 --> 00:34:47,380
It's lovely to see so many faces here.
597
00:34:47,820 --> 00:34:53,400
And, um... I'm just really bloody proud
to be honest with you.
598
00:34:54,100 --> 00:34:57,460
Of, uh... You know.
599
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:04,920
But before you tuck into the food,
courtesy of the cafe
600
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,820
de Les Allens, I'd like to say a few
words.
601
00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:16,180
Firstly... Sorry about that.
602
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:17,200
A new alarm.
603
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:18,740
Probably just resetting itself.
604
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,040
Chinese.
605
00:35:20,420 --> 00:35:21,420
Very high end.
606
00:35:21,940 --> 00:35:22,980
Now, where was I?
607
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:27,080
Yes, I'd like to say a big thank you to
everybody who donated food this evening.
608
00:35:27,100 --> 00:35:31,480
We couldn't have done it without you.
And secondly, I'd like to say a thank
609
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:35,460
to my lovely... It's the motion.
610
00:35:36,060 --> 00:35:38,060
Very sensitive.
611
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:40,200
Top of the range.
612
00:35:40,580 --> 00:35:41,580
Chinese!
613
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,860
People, just stand still, please. I'm
sure we'll go quiet and stop.
614
00:35:53,540 --> 00:35:59,080
Welcome one and all to what I'm sure
will be a great evening at the Café de
615
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:03,840
Allens. Eat, drink and be merry, but
most of all drink. That'll really help
616
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,460
profits. So, cheers.
617
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,120
Cheers!
618
00:36:09,620 --> 00:36:10,720
Right, let's stop!
619
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:11,879
There we are!
620
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,000
Down completely still!
621
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:18,640
Thank you.
622
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,620
Now, please, nobody move while we reset
the alarm.
623
00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:24,700
Stay still.
624
00:36:28,900 --> 00:36:32,000
Who wants
625
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:37,100
champagne?
626
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:43,700
It's free.
627
00:37:08,970 --> 00:37:10,430
Seen something similar in Nam.
628
00:37:10,930 --> 00:37:12,590
Nam? Chippin' Nam.
629
00:37:13,450 --> 00:37:17,270
The recourse on disabling alarms and
security systems.
630
00:37:18,050 --> 00:37:19,050
Okay.
631
00:37:25,090 --> 00:37:26,090
Slowly.
632
00:37:27,830 --> 00:37:28,830
Slowly.
633
00:37:34,410 --> 00:37:35,650
Come to daddy.
634
00:37:38,940 --> 00:37:39,940
Sorted.
635
00:37:41,340 --> 00:37:42,340
Yeah,
636
00:37:43,100 --> 00:37:44,140
that can't happen sometimes.
637
00:37:46,700 --> 00:37:47,700
Auntie Brenda.
638
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:50,320
How's it hanging?
639
00:37:51,260 --> 00:37:52,680
You tell me, good boy.
640
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:57,480
Not to hide her hair from you for days,
and then you waltz in like Lord Lucan
641
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,280
with new teeth and a crate of champagne.
642
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:03,620
I can explain. I'm bad enough in the
current financial climate, what with
643
00:38:03,620 --> 00:38:04,620
tightening and...
644
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:08,460
facts on the internet. You owe me an
apology, David, and no mistake.
645
00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:11,720
I'm sorry. Oh, it's way too late to say
sorry.
646
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,320
Now, stop your watercolour. Tell me
where you've been.
647
00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:16,920
I've been collecting my winnings.
648
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,340
Winnings? What winnings?
649
00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:21,980
My premium bonds came in.
650
00:38:23,460 --> 00:38:25,000
I won a million quid.
651
00:38:40,420 --> 00:38:41,420
Yes,
652
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,220
and so say all of us.
653
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,220
Cheers. Thank you.
654
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:55,040
And can I assure you that winning this
money won't change me at all?
655
00:38:55,420 --> 00:38:56,420
Lend us 50 quid, then.
656
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:57,800
No.
657
00:38:58,900 --> 00:39:02,200
The good Lord is looking down on Pomp de
Berry today.
658
00:39:02,420 --> 00:39:03,940
This money is exact.
659
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:07,540
Exactly what we've always needed, a
major investment of capital.
660
00:39:07,860 --> 00:39:09,620
Yes, this will really change things for
me.
661
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:14,440
New buses, new signs, an advertising
campaign.
662
00:39:14,700 --> 00:39:15,920
Do you think what we can do?
663
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,380
I'm planning to do quite a lot, yes.
664
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,160
This is a game -changer for us. For me,
yes.
665
00:39:23,020 --> 00:39:25,420
Congratulations, Bud. Thank you. Thank
you.
666
00:39:31,460 --> 00:39:32,640
Where have you been?
667
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:36,520
It's a secret. I kind of need to show
you rather than tell you. Why are you so
668
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:37,520
filthy?
669
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,880
Seriously, Michael, what have you been
doing? I thought you were going to be
670
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,020
here. Come home with me and I'll explain
everything.
671
00:39:44,340 --> 00:39:45,700
Come on, you are going to love this.
672
00:39:50,860 --> 00:39:52,640
Just be patient, will you?
673
00:40:06,740 --> 00:40:07,740
One.
674
00:40:08,380 --> 00:40:09,380
Surprise!
675
00:40:12,220 --> 00:40:14,520
Oh, my God.
676
00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:17,540
OK, just hear me out. What have you
done?
677
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,960
The house fell through today. Yeah, I
can see that.
678
00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:23,040
No, I mean, the buyer pulled out. Turns
out we've got dry rot in the walls and
679
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:27,020
it's going to cost a packet to fix.
Michael! I know, nightmare, right? Or is
680
00:40:27,020 --> 00:40:28,460
in fact the best thing that could have
happened?
681
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,720
I mean, we've all been on top of each
other recently.
682
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,180
And this is so obvious, it's brilliant.
I thought, why not make use of the space
683
00:40:34,180 --> 00:40:35,180
we already have?
684
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:36,200
So you did this on purpose?
685
00:40:36,380 --> 00:40:39,340
Well, you said it was nice that we're
all under one roof, so it's your idea,
686
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:40,440
really.
687
00:40:42,540 --> 00:40:45,520
Luke, Zoe and the kids can live at mine.
I can have their room as an office.
688
00:40:45,820 --> 00:40:48,920
Obviously, this whole needs cleaning up,
but Yanto's back in the morning, and
689
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:49,920
once it's done, it solves everything.
690
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,440
Are you having a nervous breakdown?
691
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:59,460
Plus, we can put the rent from Luke and
Zoe towards sourcing out the dry rot.
692
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:00,560
What rent?
693
00:41:00,590 --> 00:41:01,750
I'm not a charity, Stel.
694
00:41:02,090 --> 00:41:04,490
And once it's all done and we're back on
our feet, I'm going to look to sell
695
00:41:04,490 --> 00:41:08,290
again. How can you sell this house with
a creepy bloody hole in the wall?
696
00:41:08,550 --> 00:41:09,550
It's temporary.
697
00:41:09,830 --> 00:41:10,830
Mind out.
698
00:41:11,550 --> 00:41:14,010
She's taking it better than I thought,
but... You don't think this is a good
699
00:41:14,010 --> 00:41:15,010
idea, do you?
700
00:41:15,330 --> 00:41:16,550
It's better for Sophie and Jack.
701
00:41:17,210 --> 00:41:18,990
Let's face it, we were getting under
each other's feet.
702
00:41:19,270 --> 00:41:20,069
Were we?
703
00:41:20,070 --> 00:41:22,930
And I'm going to be paying rent. I'm not
freeloading, I mean it.
704
00:41:25,310 --> 00:41:26,310
See?
705
00:41:33,740 --> 00:41:34,740
How did we do, Dad?
706
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,000
Not too bad, little Al, not too bad.
707
00:41:37,780 --> 00:41:38,840
First night's always tricky.
708
00:41:39,180 --> 00:41:40,180
That's what they say.
709
00:41:40,660 --> 00:41:41,660
Yeah.
710
00:41:41,860 --> 00:41:46,320
We might have to be a bit more frugal
from now on. Tighten belts, pull up
711
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:47,479
that sort of thing.
712
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,020
The food was fantastic, little Al.
713
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:51,580
Everyone said so.
714
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:57,380
Did we actually make any money?
715
00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:58,800
Yes and no.
716
00:41:59,300 --> 00:42:00,300
Mainly no.
717
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,200
But we're a great team, though, eh?
718
00:42:03,660 --> 00:42:05,280
This place isn't until the time I storm.
719
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:06,760
You really think so?
720
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:08,160
Do you?
721
00:42:09,540 --> 00:42:10,540
Definitely.
722
00:42:41,610 --> 00:42:42,610
Everything all right?
723
00:42:43,510 --> 00:42:44,510
Perfect.
724
00:42:51,590 --> 00:42:52,590
There you go.
725
00:43:13,660 --> 00:43:14,700
How's it looking next door?
726
00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:18,780
OK, I admit you weren't a complete idiot
with the wall.
727
00:43:19,100 --> 00:43:20,100
You're too kind.
728
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,300
And we are still all living under one
roof, technically.
729
00:43:22,740 --> 00:43:23,740
Which is warming to it.
730
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:26,000
And I know it's going to make it easier
for you.
731
00:43:26,780 --> 00:43:31,340
So... What I'm saying is I can live with
it for a while, like.
732
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:32,960
Well, thank you.
733
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,160
I won't go on. You're probably charging
me for your time.
734
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,320
By the way, you're going to have to look
sexy covered in dust.
735
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:43,600
Hey, good boy.
736
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:45,360
Much harassment, that is.
737
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:46,720
Maybe you should call a lawyer.
738
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:48,840
I will.
739
00:43:49,340 --> 00:43:51,740
I'm going to call the best lawyer in the
West.
740
00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:54,240
I will.
741
00:43:59,540 --> 00:44:02,260
Like I said, I don't want to get no one
in trouble. Maybe I shouldn't have come
742
00:44:02,260 --> 00:44:04,380
here. This sounds very much like sexual
harassment.
743
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:08,280
Hey, Mr. Lawyer.
744
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:10,560
Beyonce.
745
00:44:11,430 --> 00:44:12,710
This is your final warning?
746
00:44:12,950 --> 00:44:13,950
We've got so much in common.
747
00:44:14,450 --> 00:44:15,450
Where have you been?
748
00:44:15,610 --> 00:44:17,870
Sorry, I've lost track of time. I should
have called.
749
00:44:18,090 --> 00:44:19,090
Yeah, you should.
52106
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