All language subtitles for Stella s04e01

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,510 --> 00:00:19,510 She smiles. 2 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:58,480 I stretch my hands out to the sky and we dance like monsters through the night. 3 00:01:53,420 --> 00:01:54,420 and toilet. 4 00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:57,780 No garden, but there's a balcony. 5 00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,600 What's a balcony? 6 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:00,960 A shite balcony. 7 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,200 Yeah. 8 00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:04,780 The rest of it looks nice, though. 9 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,320 Yeah, they wanted two months to pause it. 10 00:02:08,539 --> 00:02:09,539 Oh, bollocks. 11 00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:13,440 We'll have to be patient, that's all. Save up a bit. 12 00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:15,300 Where are two of the bowls? 13 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,380 Ask Michael. He's been decluttering. 14 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:22,280 Who's breakfast? 15 00:02:23,630 --> 00:02:25,010 I literally have no idea. 16 00:02:26,010 --> 00:02:27,550 Luke, will you take us driving later? 17 00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:28,930 Not today, but I go work. 18 00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:30,950 I'll never pass at this rate. 19 00:02:31,170 --> 00:02:32,310 Well, you know what you want to do, Ben? 20 00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:34,950 Go on one of them courses where you pass your test in a week? 21 00:02:35,170 --> 00:02:39,430 No. Go up Ponteberry College and register for sixth form. 22 00:02:40,990 --> 00:02:42,230 To be continued. 23 00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:45,750 Oh! 24 00:02:48,350 --> 00:02:51,350 All right, rain man. 25 00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:54,530 I thought you'd already gone. I'm trying to, but first I want my breakfast, 26 00:02:54,630 --> 00:02:58,110 which, by the way, is the most important meal of the day. Is that your medical 27 00:02:58,110 --> 00:03:01,630 opinion? But I can't have my breakfast because someone has moved the spoons. 28 00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:04,050 Just trying to bring some order to your chaos. 29 00:03:04,290 --> 00:03:05,290 My chaos? 30 00:03:07,870 --> 00:03:09,290 How is your office? 31 00:03:10,030 --> 00:03:10,989 It's OK. 32 00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:13,170 I don't like to moan, unlike some people. 33 00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:15,210 Hey, play nicely. It's my first day. 34 00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:16,530 Of your second year. 35 00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:18,130 Well, I'm still allowed to be nervous. 36 00:03:18,570 --> 00:03:20,250 Come on, what's the worst that can happen? You... 37 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,680 Accidentally kill a patient, there's a trial, it's all over the papers, and 38 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,380 people start yelling murder at you in the street. 39 00:03:25,700 --> 00:03:27,000 The booms, Michael. 40 00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:29,020 Kitchen cupboard, bottom left. 41 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,360 Thank you. 42 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:35,560 So, you're smart, you're hard -working, and you're great with people. You'll be 43 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:36,560 fine. 44 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,440 But if you do get sacked, make sure you keep the uniform. 45 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,520 There she is, getting into her car, as bold as a builder. 46 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,040 Morning, Aunty Brenda. 47 00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:55,140 Oh, there'll be no morning, Aunty Brenda. Not till you've explained the 48 00:03:55,140 --> 00:03:56,140 of that. 49 00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:58,220 Michael have found a buyer for his house. 50 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,800 I can read, good girl. I want details. 51 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,200 Oh, I'm late as it is. I've got no time for that. 52 00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:05,820 Fine. 53 00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:10,080 He got an offer last week. It was less than what he wanted, but the buyer said 54 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,620 he could move quick, so Michael have accepted, and they are exchanging and 55 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,140 completing on Friday. Happy now? 56 00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:16,119 Not remotely. 57 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,260 I haven't met him yet. Neither have I. Does it matter? 58 00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:19,990 It could be anyone. 59 00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:22,990 Swingers, doggers, Nazi war criminals. 60 00:04:23,290 --> 00:04:24,930 What would that do to house prices? 61 00:04:25,510 --> 00:04:26,810 I've got to go. I'll see you later. 62 00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:32,110 Well, I'm willing to overlook you a slapdash approach to the property market 63 00:04:32,110 --> 00:04:34,750 you'll do me a favour and put these up round the hospital. 64 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:40,710 Room to let, non -smoker, no vegans or fancy type. 65 00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:42,050 Are you getting a lodger? 66 00:04:42,930 --> 00:04:45,250 When times are hard, you've got to diversify. 67 00:04:45,670 --> 00:04:46,830 Deborah Meaden told me that. 68 00:04:54,030 --> 00:04:57,410 Le Café de Les Allens. It's definitely distinctive. 69 00:04:57,890 --> 00:04:59,650 Exactly. No one's ever called a café. 70 00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:01,290 I looked it up on Google. 71 00:05:01,530 --> 00:05:02,530 Aye. 72 00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:04,070 This is a new start, love. 73 00:05:04,490 --> 00:05:08,610 Another chapter in the book called Things Done by Alan and Little Alan. 74 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,690 That's not a real book, mind. It's just been poetic. 75 00:05:12,490 --> 00:05:14,250 Eh? Big day for you too? 76 00:05:14,530 --> 00:05:15,530 Yeah. 77 00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:17,130 Listen, look. 78 00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:20,270 Hey, Stella. 79 00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:21,770 You coming tomorrow night? Big opening? 80 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:23,760 Wouldn't let it for the world, Trash. 81 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,820 I'd dry cleaned my posh frocks. 82 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,420 Right, ready now, Frasca? 83 00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:29,840 Ready as I'll ever be. 84 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:40,220 All right, isn't it, Dad? 85 00:05:41,060 --> 00:05:42,060 Yes, sir. 86 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:44,620 Shall I say a little, Al? 87 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:48,320 As one door closes, another one opens. 88 00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:53,970 Do you want me to open it again? No, the moment's gone. 89 00:06:05,070 --> 00:06:07,930 Edith, this is what you know about nursing. 90 00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:11,170 You might think you know this, but you don't. 91 00:06:11,390 --> 00:06:12,390 You know this. 92 00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:15,670 Now, this year's going to be tough. 93 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:20,070 You're going to be on your own a lot more without me there to hold your hands 94 00:06:20,070 --> 00:06:21,070 and wipe your bums. 95 00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:24,470 Some of you will not cope. 96 00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:28,050 Others, we'll have to wait and see. 97 00:06:30,710 --> 00:06:31,710 Celia, is there? 98 00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,310 Yes. 99 00:06:33,430 --> 00:06:36,870 Celia's returning back into nursing after, ooh, how long is it now? Oh, I 100 00:06:36,870 --> 00:06:41,730 few years. Speak up. I did a few years of training, but I had to stop in 2009. 101 00:06:42,270 --> 00:06:44,230 Going to help me whip this lot into shape, you? 102 00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:47,450 I'm sure you don't need any help. Of course I don't need no help! 103 00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:50,430 2009 is in the dark ages. 104 00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:54,610 Nursing's moved on so much since then, you probably know less than they do. 105 00:06:55,890 --> 00:06:58,710 That said, welcome back. 106 00:07:00,110 --> 00:07:01,110 Right. 107 00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:02,350 Follow me. 108 00:07:04,610 --> 00:07:07,950 These are your placements for the next term, so listen up, because I will say 109 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:08,950 this only once. 110 00:07:18,380 --> 00:07:21,880 And remember, just because they're old, don't mean they're nice. 111 00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:24,240 Do you remember that? 112 00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:27,000 General Ward, with me. 113 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,600 Right, before we start... 114 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,060 I just want to say this is very much a temporary situation. 115 00:07:39,380 --> 00:07:42,460 I'll be able to move into a proper office when my house is sold. 116 00:07:42,820 --> 00:07:43,820 To the swingers? 117 00:07:44,180 --> 00:07:47,800 What? Aunty Brenda said you're selling your place to a pair of swingers. 118 00:07:48,180 --> 00:07:49,560 No. No much. 119 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:50,880 It was doggers. 120 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:52,780 Doggers. Sorry. 121 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:54,780 Firstly, they're neither. 122 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:59,380 Secondly, if I can just finish off what I was saying, I know the room seems a 123 00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:04,120 bit pokey, but I have 20 years' experience, and I can assure you that 124 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,140 still get a top -quality legal permit. 125 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,020 So, how can I help you? 126 00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:11,460 We'd like to make our last will and testament. 127 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,880 Ben! Sorry about that. 128 00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:25,880 All right, so who would be the main beneficiary of your... Stop for a 129 00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:34,700 Who would be the main beneficiary of your will? 130 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,940 Our little boy. 131 00:08:44,420 --> 00:08:49,120 Right. You've got Mr. Kidney failure and you've got Mr. Diabetes and Anemia. 132 00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:50,300 Now, get to it. 133 00:08:52,220 --> 00:08:53,560 Morris, right then. 134 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:56,720 See him there? 135 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,200 That is God almighty, Mr. Honey. 136 00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:02,240 He rules this ward. 137 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,500 with a rod of iron held with a fist of surgical steel. 138 00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:08,460 You never, ever address him directly. 139 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,040 You speak to me and me alone. 140 00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:13,100 Then I'll speak to him and you'll be asked. 141 00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:14,700 Compliment? 142 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:18,900 Hmm. 143 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:22,560 Er, Mr Chesney, is that how you say it? 144 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:23,800 Chesney. 145 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,440 Chesney. 146 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:32,600 I need to take a blood test after that. But I'm not... I don't 147 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,620 want to... Don't worry. 148 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,040 I'll be quick. 149 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,400 Hopefully. 150 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,480 And who do we have here? 151 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,080 Stella Morris. 152 00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:44,860 The patient? 153 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:49,040 Apologies, Mr. Honey, this is... Mr. 154 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,100 Jersey, presented with symptoms of fainting and nausea. 155 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,640 So you're doing an FBC and blood glucose, yes? 156 00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:00,790 Yes, that is correct. 157 00:10:02,690 --> 00:10:04,050 Have you got a squint or something? 158 00:10:05,630 --> 00:10:08,230 No, I was addressing, sister. 159 00:10:08,510 --> 00:10:09,510 Well, go on then. Hurry up. 160 00:10:11,350 --> 00:10:14,330 I'm not a... Don't. It won't hurt. I promise. 161 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,090 I'm not a patient. 162 00:10:20,110 --> 00:10:21,870 I visit my brother. 163 00:10:45,710 --> 00:10:48,370 The grand opening is tomorrow night at 7 .30. 164 00:10:48,770 --> 00:10:53,810 Tomorrow night, 7 .30. 165 00:10:54,930 --> 00:11:00,450 Now, the food is free, but the bar is paid. So to... Food... Free... 166 00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:06,790 Bar... Is... P... A... 167 00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:08,690 I... Yeah, do you have to write everything down? 168 00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:10,130 Oh, I'm a little bit of a detailer. 169 00:11:10,610 --> 00:11:12,750 Called it then, like Sherlock Holmes, but without the hat. 170 00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:29,400 Look at this blender, Dad. 171 00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:30,820 Titanium coated. 172 00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:33,340 Top of the range. Only 600 quid. 173 00:11:34,340 --> 00:11:35,360 What is that? 174 00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:40,000 The burglar alarm, look. Security is paramount. 175 00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:41,329 I laid down on my coats. 176 00:11:41,330 --> 00:11:43,830 Come off it, man. This is pot to bury. Who's going to break in? 177 00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:47,730 If you rob anyone in Abu Dhabi, Carl said they'd take no prisoners. 178 00:11:47,990 --> 00:11:49,530 Literally. Cut your hand off. 179 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,570 Or maybe... Either way, they don't re -offend. 180 00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:53,870 How much you spend? 181 00:11:57,010 --> 00:11:58,130 Really? Two grand? 182 00:11:58,890 --> 00:12:00,290 Sorry, this is all going to have to go back. 183 00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:04,530 Hey, pick that up. That means you as well. But you, down, down. Out, out. 184 00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:06,750 Dad, I need these things. 185 00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:08,950 You should go to the covered market in Nice. 186 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,440 They've got everything there. They're cheap. I am not kitting out my kitchen 187 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,320 from an epoxy cupboard market in Neath. 188 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,520 Gordon Ramsay doesn't go to Neath. 189 00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:20,980 He's a chef. 190 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,500 Temperamental, like. 191 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:31,120 Whereabouts in Neath? 192 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,880 Di Davis, it's 9 .30. Where are you? 193 00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:37,460 Shaming it is. 194 00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:38,800 Shaming. What is? 195 00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:42,810 Here I am taking in lodgers to make hens meet. 196 00:12:43,070 --> 00:12:47,570 And Di Davies can't be bothered to turn up to work or to clean up after himself. 197 00:12:47,890 --> 00:12:49,430 Who does he think he is? Bono? 198 00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:51,390 Have you seen him today? 199 00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:56,170 Bono? You are not so old I can't put you across my knee, Luke Morgan. 200 00:12:56,490 --> 00:12:58,010 Di Davies, of course. 201 00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,990 The work shy little squirrel. 202 00:13:00,510 --> 00:13:02,150 No, I haven't seen him. 203 00:13:08,940 --> 00:13:09,940 All right, Nurse Dracula? 204 00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:11,340 Oh, God. 205 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,040 That's not what people are calling me, is it? 206 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,240 No, just me. 207 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,980 Well, I can't be the first person to take blood from the wrong patient. 208 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,000 You must have heard of someone doing it before. 209 00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:21,860 Yeah, if you like. 210 00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,640 See you at this, will I, ladies? 211 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,660 Self -defence and taekwondo? 212 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,160 Nurses have always had to be handy with their fists. 213 00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:32,520 Florence Nightingale boxed for Oxford. 214 00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:34,140 Is it part of the course? 215 00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:36,700 Earth's call in 2009? 216 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,350 No. You're officially part of the course. 217 00:13:40,830 --> 00:13:42,290 If you don't want to come, that's up to you. 218 00:13:42,570 --> 00:13:45,770 But up here, I make a note of everyone who turns up. 219 00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,210 And everyone who can't be bothered. 220 00:13:54,130 --> 00:13:57,570 All I'm saying is if we did a rota, then you and Luke and Mum could take it in 221 00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:00,790 turns to take me driving. Can we talk about this later? I may have a pass at 222 00:14:00,790 --> 00:14:02,490 this, do we? No, I've got clients to see. 223 00:14:02,710 --> 00:14:05,510 Of course you're bastard angry. I dropped your cock in Monster Munch, you 224 00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:07,170 Bloody kids, eh? 225 00:14:07,690 --> 00:14:11,510 Can you fit me in? I want to talk about my niece's seat to be shafted by a boss. 226 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:15,130 Michael, quick question. Is it illegal to pretend to be a dentist? 227 00:14:15,530 --> 00:14:16,489 Why would you ask that? 228 00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:17,329 No reason. 229 00:14:17,330 --> 00:14:19,250 But if it is, I might be in a whole world of shite. 230 00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:20,830 Do either of you have an appointment? 231 00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:23,690 I tried talking to you, but my phone wasn't... That's what it's like. 232 00:14:24,010 --> 00:14:27,110 Can you just go into the car and I... Quiet! 233 00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:30,750 Thank you. 234 00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:34,410 I am trying to run a professional business here. 235 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:44,100 I've friendly documents round, birth certificates in checks of details, 236 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,280 the lot. 237 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:51,300 Resorting to physical force should only ever be resorted to as a last resort. 238 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:56,140 If you carry yourself in the right way, then an act of aggression like this 239 00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:57,620 would be completely unnecessary. 240 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:02,260 The best way to avoid physical violence is to be aware of your surroundings and 241 00:15:02,260 --> 00:15:04,020 be prepared to react in a heartbeat. 242 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,020 Take Mrs Wong by ear. 243 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,440 She do have the reaction speed of a mandarin cat. 244 00:15:10,020 --> 00:15:13,260 So she's always ready for anything in her life to throw at her. 245 00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:17,160 Hey! All right, calm down now, love. 246 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,080 Panic over. 247 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,420 I got everything we need and at half the price. 248 00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:25,620 Where from? 249 00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:26,660 Is that really important? 250 00:15:27,220 --> 00:15:29,660 And does it matter where or when or how? 251 00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:31,100 You've been to Neath Oven, have you? I have. 252 00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:34,480 But don't worry, this is all quality stuff. I got you this whisk. 253 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,080 Thingy that's left -handed? I'm right -handed. 254 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:43,880 I got your pots and pans and your scales and, hey, look, I got this gizmo for 255 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,140 me. Dad, you don't smoke. 256 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:49,620 I know, but, you know, it goes with the French thing, doesn't it? 257 00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:52,060 I'm not going to puff on it, I'm just going to hold it. 258 00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:54,420 Sophisticated, like, eh? 259 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000 Eh? 260 00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:00,260 All right, love? 261 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:03,420 Just checking, you and little Alan haven't killed each other yet. 262 00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:05,230 Oh, we're getting on great guns. 263 00:16:05,510 --> 00:16:06,610 We're the 80s, aren't we, son? 264 00:16:08,970 --> 00:16:10,830 So, how's your nurse, Brackie? 265 00:16:11,110 --> 00:16:12,390 Oh, fine, I think. 266 00:16:12,950 --> 00:16:15,230 Just survived an encounter with Bruce Lee. 267 00:16:15,710 --> 00:16:16,529 You what? 268 00:16:16,530 --> 00:16:17,449 Oh, nothing. 269 00:16:17,450 --> 00:16:18,450 I'll tell you later. 270 00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:19,850 Just as long as you're OK. 271 00:16:20,290 --> 00:16:21,590 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Couldn't be better. 272 00:16:21,890 --> 00:16:23,570 Dad? Yeah, got to go. 273 00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:25,510 Gordon Ramsay needs me. Bye -bye. 274 00:16:26,630 --> 00:16:27,630 Where's the herbs? 275 00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:29,030 Right here, man. 276 00:16:29,170 --> 00:16:31,950 You know, I got your sage and sorrel. 277 00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:33,660 Whatever that is. 278 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,740 A rose of pepper and, look, a big bag of salt. 279 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:41,120 I tell you, it's like Aladdin's cave in that market. I've even got us a burglar 280 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,120 arm, eh? 281 00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:44,440 That's a blender, eh? 282 00:16:44,780 --> 00:16:46,000 What are these symbols on the side? 283 00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:49,720 Ah, now, us Chinese, that is. They make everything these days. 284 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,800 But don't worry, I've gone through the manual. 285 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,880 This squiggly line that looks like a hat stand, that's your on button. 286 00:16:56,260 --> 00:16:59,000 And the one that looks like an angueter, that's your off. 287 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:00,480 Which is which? 288 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:02,520 Angueter? 289 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:03,760 That's that. 290 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,040 Go on, I'll get it working now. 291 00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:35,229 Go on, then. 292 00:17:35,230 --> 00:17:36,230 Test us. 293 00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:38,330 The theory questions for the driving test. 294 00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:40,870 Jensen Button over here thinks she knows more than I do. 295 00:17:41,070 --> 00:17:42,590 I don't think I know. 296 00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:46,050 Put that away, Luke, and serve him up. Ben, will you give Michael a shout? 297 00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:47,550 Michael! 298 00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:49,370 That's not quite what I meant. 299 00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:54,230 Five messages I've left for that side, David, and he's still not replied. 300 00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:59,550 Disappeared off the face of the earth, he has, like sugar in a Pringle sweater. 301 00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:04,110 Oh, this is nice, isn't it? It's proper family dinner like the old days. 302 00:18:05,170 --> 00:18:06,670 Ben, we're eating. 303 00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:09,210 Mum, can I have dinner in my bedroom with my laptop? 304 00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:12,890 No. Hey, don't leave him alone with the internet. He'll go blind. 305 00:18:13,610 --> 00:18:15,390 He won't be able to read the number plates then. 306 00:18:15,710 --> 00:18:16,850 Oh, man, tell him. 307 00:18:17,170 --> 00:18:21,470 Oh, are we going up on a little belly boy, are we? Oh, get off. 308 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:34,760 Dinner's on the table. 309 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:36,720 Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be down now in a minute. 310 00:18:37,340 --> 00:18:39,140 Do you want me to bring you a plate, sir? Do you mind? 311 00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:42,900 God, I love you. 312 00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:46,380 Oh! Bloody room. 313 00:18:47,180 --> 00:18:48,180 Not long now. 314 00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:52,220 As soon as you've found that door, you can get a big flash office and a taxi 315 00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:55,620 secretary. I don't know how a flash office I can get. I won't be much on the 316 00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:59,120 health. And you know what they say, small acorns grow from... 317 00:19:00,659 --> 00:19:02,280 Fields of all sorts, I think. 318 00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:03,500 You're just so wise. 319 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:09,440 I know it's not ideal at the moment, Prash, all of us under one roof, but I 320 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,440 quite like it. 321 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:12,060 It's like when the kids were little. 322 00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:13,260 It's cosy. 323 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,500 Well, that's one word for it. 324 00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:21,940 I'm fine. 325 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:25,920 Anyway, I'd better get back to it. 326 00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:48,500 I gave it. It's me again. 327 00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:50,100 I'm loving you. 328 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:54,000 Isn't the right thing to do? 329 00:19:56,040 --> 00:20:00,400 How can I win? Oh, take it from me. 330 00:20:04,260 --> 00:20:06,440 Are you sure about this? Of course I am. 331 00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:10,800 You need more room in there, right? We have files and you need to walk, no? 332 00:20:11,020 --> 00:20:12,020 He definitely knows what he's doing. 333 00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:14,120 Almost certainly. 334 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,500 Right, I've got to run. I'll get you into the hospital and I'll meet you at 335 00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,500 party. 336 00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,700 Alan's Cafe, the big opening. 337 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,480 Try and have a little shave before tonight, is it? 338 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:34,300 Is everything all right in there? 339 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,480 Evil wars are like cow filly. 340 00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:41,360 The cheese, not the tongue. 341 00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,180 I'm going to need a bigger drill. 342 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,880 Can I use the room in the meantime? We need to get on. 343 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,680 You remind me of myself, Mike. 344 00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:52,300 A man of action. 345 00:20:53,380 --> 00:20:56,760 You know, I was once lost in the jungles of Cambodia. 346 00:20:56,980 --> 00:20:57,980 It's going to be a long story. 347 00:20:58,140 --> 00:20:59,680 Medium to long. Any chance I could wait? 348 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,420 Message received and understood. 349 00:21:09,860 --> 00:21:10,860 Oh, great. 350 00:21:19,150 --> 00:21:20,150 Come on. 351 00:21:20,770 --> 00:21:23,510 Which one of these should we prepare? 352 00:21:23,870 --> 00:21:25,550 Swan or the chevron? 353 00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:28,250 Impossible on Tuesday. 354 00:21:28,810 --> 00:21:29,870 We're both stunning. 355 00:21:30,190 --> 00:21:31,190 Aren't they, Art? 356 00:21:31,330 --> 00:21:33,010 No. I'll ask Lil' Alan. 357 00:21:33,650 --> 00:21:34,650 Lil' Alan! 358 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,440 but it should do my head in. 359 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:03,740 It's working, isn't it, all this stuff? 360 00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:06,760 Actually, it's pretty good. 361 00:22:07,340 --> 00:22:08,340 Thanks, Dad. 362 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:09,400 I'm sorry. 363 00:22:11,500 --> 00:22:11,860 What 364 00:22:11,860 --> 00:22:19,460 do 365 00:22:19,460 --> 00:22:20,119 you think? 366 00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:21,120 One or two? 367 00:22:27,340 --> 00:22:30,860 Unhealthy or really unhealthy. 368 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:34,360 I'll sod it. 369 00:22:38,700 --> 00:22:39,700 Oh, come on. 370 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,060 Aren't you a bit too old to be stealing sweets? 371 00:22:57,260 --> 00:22:58,260 It's all stuck, it has. 372 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:03,640 I can just reach up there. 373 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,280 Oh, flipping heck, I've got cramp. 374 00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:07,240 Relax your arm. 375 00:23:08,060 --> 00:23:09,260 I said relax. 376 00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:10,700 Oh, God. 377 00:23:11,660 --> 00:23:12,660 No. 378 00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:14,900 Pull. 379 00:23:15,140 --> 00:23:17,180 Ah, you bastard. 380 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,500 Sorry, not you. Mr Henny, the machine. 381 00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:25,420 I would never call you a bastard, despite what some people know. 382 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,360 that anyone called you bastard. 383 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:28,560 Well, not to your face, anyway. 384 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:29,840 Oh. 385 00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:31,440 Now I've upset you. 386 00:23:31,860 --> 00:23:32,860 No. 387 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,040 I'm being paged. 388 00:23:37,380 --> 00:23:39,040 You probably think I'm a total donut. 389 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:50,320 Cheers, Michael. 390 00:23:50,420 --> 00:23:51,420 You're a star. 391 00:23:57,450 --> 00:23:58,770 Keep your eyes on the road, okay? 392 00:24:00,770 --> 00:24:02,730 Should I go across the roundabout? 393 00:24:03,090 --> 00:24:06,290 Round it, preferably, but yes, keep going as far as you like. 394 00:24:11,310 --> 00:24:12,310 Nice one. 395 00:24:21,650 --> 00:24:22,650 On your break? 396 00:24:22,950 --> 00:24:23,950 Yeah. 397 00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,900 So I spent most of it on my knees in front of Mr Honey. 398 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:28,520 Ooh, going for a promotion? 399 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,040 No. 400 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,400 My bloody vending machine had broken again. I'm starving. 401 00:24:34,820 --> 00:24:36,140 Well, at least you'll be hungry tonight. 402 00:24:37,860 --> 00:24:39,460 Are they all getting on up there? 403 00:24:39,980 --> 00:24:40,980 I'm not sure. 404 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,880 You know what Alan's like when he's under pressure, especially if they leave 405 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:44,539 to it. 406 00:24:44,540 --> 00:24:48,020 Yeah. My children see him. He's one big ball of stress at the moment. 407 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,060 Finding it a bit cozier, us all living together. 408 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:52,720 That's not for long, is it? 409 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,180 Thing is, I don't have a problem with it. 410 00:24:55,940 --> 00:24:58,600 Won't be long before they all move out and the house will be full of empty 411 00:24:58,600 --> 00:24:59,600 rooms. 412 00:25:00,620 --> 00:25:04,380 Oh, God, am I being depressing? 413 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:05,680 Very. 414 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,020 Come on, I know what you need. 415 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:21,660 It's all a question of... ..coming. 416 00:25:24,430 --> 00:25:25,430 You're a genius. 417 00:25:25,870 --> 00:25:26,870 I know. 418 00:25:27,010 --> 00:25:30,290 You'd be too late to do that, then. Misspent youth. Not much help for doing 419 00:25:30,290 --> 00:25:30,889 -a -mouth. 420 00:25:30,890 --> 00:25:31,950 What else do you fancy? 421 00:25:33,230 --> 00:25:34,230 I don't know. 422 00:25:35,650 --> 00:25:36,650 Stealing, isn't it? 423 00:25:37,090 --> 00:25:38,090 Yeah, it is. 424 00:25:39,890 --> 00:25:40,970 Bag of ravels? 425 00:25:42,930 --> 00:25:47,190 So, when everyone's here, we'll turn the house lights down and then I'll do that 426 00:25:47,190 --> 00:25:48,510 thing with a glass to get their attention. 427 00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:58,100 Then I'll say, hello, good evening, and welcome. 428 00:26:00,340 --> 00:26:03,120 Just a little joke to warm him up. 429 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,600 And then I'll do my speech. 430 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:06,880 Dad, I've got food to cook. 431 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,460 When Carl didn't make speeches, he always made them rhymes. 432 00:26:09,780 --> 00:26:11,060 No matter what the occasion. 433 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,260 And my nan at home really even found a rhyme for chronic cystitis. 434 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:16,560 Gifted he is. 435 00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:18,280 Oh, my God! 436 00:26:24,010 --> 00:26:25,010 It's not happening. 437 00:26:27,030 --> 00:26:28,030 Oh! 438 00:26:32,170 --> 00:26:37,130 Stella Morris, you were acquired back on duty 93 seconds ago. 439 00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:40,570 Sorry, I got a bit, um, caught up. 440 00:26:40,790 --> 00:26:44,590 I won't have you taking advantage of my good nature just because we'll be living 441 00:26:44,590 --> 00:26:45,590 on the same street. 442 00:26:45,770 --> 00:26:47,210 Sorry, I'm not following you. 443 00:26:47,410 --> 00:26:48,910 Your auntie Brenda needs a lodger. 444 00:26:49,130 --> 00:26:50,170 I'm moving in with her. 445 00:26:52,620 --> 00:26:56,040 I'm going to have to be twice as hard on you from now on, just to show I'm not 446 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,100 biased. It's only fair to the others. 447 00:27:01,060 --> 00:27:01,979 Hey, hey, hey! 448 00:27:01,980 --> 00:27:04,020 I ain't being poked around no more, right? 449 00:27:04,220 --> 00:27:05,220 If you could lie back down. 450 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,500 I ain't lying, I ain't sitting, I'm nothing else. I'm going home. What have 451 00:27:08,500 --> 00:27:09,620 here? You won't stay in bed. 452 00:27:09,820 --> 00:27:11,140 Big up. You won't stay in bed. 453 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:15,200 Sir, I must ask you to return to your bed calmly, quietly and immediately. 454 00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:16,700 Piss off. 455 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:17,920 Very well. 456 00:27:18,140 --> 00:27:21,960 But I must warn you, I'm trained in seven different martial arts. 457 00:27:22,190 --> 00:27:28,370 including bok foo, kung foo and... I'm not reacting. 458 00:27:28,690 --> 00:27:30,350 Let go of her right now. 459 00:27:30,770 --> 00:27:31,649 Make me. 460 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:32,650 I'm keeping calm. 461 00:27:32,770 --> 00:27:35,390 Dewey Phillips, what the bloody hell do you think you're doing? 462 00:27:35,690 --> 00:27:36,529 Who's asking? 463 00:27:36,530 --> 00:27:37,950 Stella Morris, that's who. 464 00:27:42,150 --> 00:27:46,550 All right, Mrs M? Never mind that, good boy. I think you want to be apologised 465 00:27:46,550 --> 00:27:47,890 then. Sorry. 466 00:27:49,450 --> 00:27:51,190 And what are we going to do now? 467 00:27:55,350 --> 00:27:56,350 Thanks. 468 00:27:57,410 --> 00:27:58,530 Is he a friend of yours? 469 00:27:59,190 --> 00:28:02,550 No. I used to babysit him. Soft as butter, really. 470 00:28:03,230 --> 00:28:04,770 You ain't going to tell my mum, are you? 471 00:28:05,230 --> 00:28:06,670 Well, that depends on you, doesn't it? 472 00:28:09,530 --> 00:28:10,690 Thank you, nurse. 473 00:28:11,570 --> 00:28:12,570 Morris. 474 00:28:12,950 --> 00:28:13,950 Stella. 475 00:28:14,210 --> 00:28:15,390 Stella's my first name, obviously. 476 00:28:16,190 --> 00:28:18,690 Morris. That would make me a bloke. 477 00:28:19,790 --> 00:28:20,790 Wouldn't it? 478 00:28:21,770 --> 00:28:24,070 Why can't we do an emergency stop? In a minute. 479 00:28:24,310 --> 00:28:25,910 All I've been doing is driving up and down. 480 00:28:26,190 --> 00:28:27,790 Do you mind moving the car for me a second? 481 00:28:28,030 --> 00:28:29,150 Will you go easy on the gears? 482 00:28:29,450 --> 00:28:30,450 I am. 483 00:28:32,210 --> 00:28:33,169 Sorry, mate. 484 00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:34,350 Assistant. Assistant? 485 00:28:34,650 --> 00:28:40,130 Yes, I'm having a few issues with the photocopier. But I can assure you that I 486 00:28:40,130 --> 00:28:43,030 will be just... What the hell are you doing? 487 00:28:54,540 --> 00:28:55,540 Have you seen this man? 488 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:57,940 Maybe you was cooking with the wrong temperature. 489 00:28:58,320 --> 00:28:59,660 No, it's the ingredients. 490 00:28:59,900 --> 00:29:00,900 It's got to be. 491 00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:03,300 This is quality stuff. I mean, look at the, what do you call them? 492 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:05,900 Sorrel. And this salt. 493 00:29:06,380 --> 00:29:07,420 50 % off. 494 00:29:07,980 --> 00:29:08,980 Bargain. 495 00:29:09,460 --> 00:29:11,560 Bar salt. 496 00:29:12,660 --> 00:29:15,220 I've been cooking with bar salt. 497 00:29:16,340 --> 00:29:17,580 Maybe we could say he was deliberate. 498 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:19,900 Fancy food like thingy. 499 00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:22,820 That's from Bloomingdale. He doesn't cook with bar salt. 500 00:29:23,530 --> 00:29:25,110 He did goat nostrils once. 501 00:29:25,830 --> 00:29:27,370 Just as disgusting, if you ask me. 502 00:29:28,090 --> 00:29:30,170 I'll just have to start again and buy new ingredients. 503 00:29:31,610 --> 00:29:32,610 We can't, sir. 504 00:29:32,930 --> 00:29:33,930 We're totally broke. 505 00:29:34,010 --> 00:29:35,770 What? Look at all this stuff I bought. 506 00:29:36,110 --> 00:29:38,110 Take the bloke in the market, give it me for nothing. 507 00:29:38,310 --> 00:29:39,750 Well, you're going to have to get food from somewhere. 508 00:29:41,450 --> 00:29:42,450 Wait. 509 00:29:42,730 --> 00:29:43,850 I may have a brilliant idea. 510 00:29:49,950 --> 00:29:51,370 No, it's gone. I got... 511 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:53,240 I know what we can do. 512 00:29:55,340 --> 00:29:56,600 We've had a nightmare at the cafe. 513 00:29:56,980 --> 00:29:59,360 And the thing is, we're supposed to open in like five minutes. And there's been 514 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:00,360 a problem with Blue Bubble. 515 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,340 Don't know what. And the thing is, we really need some food. 516 00:30:04,660 --> 00:30:05,660 Edible glitter. 517 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,300 Tinned figs. 518 00:30:07,500 --> 00:30:10,560 From a proper, genuine Arab I knew in Derby. 519 00:30:11,180 --> 00:30:12,960 Roadkill. I washed the grit off. 520 00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:14,840 Mostly. 521 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:16,940 Carrot and sauce. 522 00:30:17,420 --> 00:30:18,760 Two of your five a day. 523 00:30:28,530 --> 00:30:31,030 Do you ever go and try to do it again? Is that right? 524 00:30:31,350 --> 00:30:33,090 Why do you have to shout like that? There has been lorry. 525 00:30:35,610 --> 00:30:36,610 Bloody thing. 526 00:30:36,630 --> 00:30:38,250 Yanto! Not long now, Bert. 527 00:30:38,790 --> 00:30:39,910 Just a few more holes. 528 00:30:43,870 --> 00:30:44,870 Hello? 529 00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:46,510 Hello? 530 00:30:49,110 --> 00:30:50,110 Sorry, sorry, I can't hear. 531 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:53,440 What? Why? 532 00:30:55,060 --> 00:30:56,060 Oh, that's brilliant. 533 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:57,400 That's just brilliant. 534 00:30:58,260 --> 00:31:00,040 Yeah, it's awesome being sarcastic. What did you expect? 535 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:01,760 Look, I'll call you back later. 536 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:03,400 What's happening? 537 00:31:03,460 --> 00:31:05,280 Well, this date hasn't. The buyers have pulled out. 538 00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,640 The survey found dry rot in the walls and it's going to cost a fortune to fix. 539 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:12,040 Which means they can't sell the house until we do, but they can't afford to 540 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,340 it fixed because they don't have any money, which is why it's selling the 541 00:31:14,340 --> 00:31:15,340 in the first place. 542 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,340 Yes, I'm aware I'm ranting, Zoe, and I'm sorry. 543 00:31:17,780 --> 00:31:18,780 Yento! 544 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,000 Yento! 545 00:31:32,139 --> 00:31:33,540 Told you them walls were shite. 546 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:53,840 Fresh garlic bread. 547 00:31:54,020 --> 00:31:58,820 The food's free, but they pay for the drink, all right? 548 00:31:59,020 --> 00:32:01,120 You do know it says free food and drink on the poster? 549 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:04,680 No, it says free food, full stop, and drink. It's very clear. 550 00:32:05,180 --> 00:32:06,600 So where to is the food, then? 551 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:08,320 It's coming. 552 00:32:08,380 --> 00:32:09,380 It's coming. 553 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,180 Excuse me. On its way. 554 00:32:13,700 --> 00:32:14,700 Alan. 555 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,180 Alan, you're going to have to calm down or you'll start scratching. You know 556 00:32:18,180 --> 00:32:18,979 what you're doing. 557 00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:20,060 What the hell's he doing in there? 558 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:21,800 Calm, Mr. Genius. 559 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:23,600 I can't keep them waiting much longer. 560 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,040 Don't think about the very folk when they're hungry. They can get very ugly. 561 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:32,040 You pacing up and down isn't going to make it go any quicker. 562 00:32:33,140 --> 00:32:35,800 Take this water to table ten. 563 00:32:36,900 --> 00:32:37,900 All right. 564 00:32:40,820 --> 00:32:41,659 How's he doing? 565 00:32:41,660 --> 00:32:42,660 Not good? 566 00:32:43,300 --> 00:32:44,800 Have you started the scratching? 567 00:32:45,140 --> 00:32:48,340 Not yet, but if he's going that way... We are late, mind. 568 00:32:49,150 --> 00:32:50,430 Talking witch, where to is Michael? 569 00:32:50,730 --> 00:32:51,910 He should be here by now. 570 00:32:52,570 --> 00:32:54,750 Yanto, is Michael at home? 571 00:32:54,990 --> 00:32:56,310 And he's not picking up the phone. 572 00:32:56,610 --> 00:32:59,790 My lips are sealed with wax like a mini baby bear. 573 00:33:02,290 --> 00:33:08,810 I've left message after message telling him to call me, but still not to pick. 574 00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:10,330 It'll be two days now. 575 00:33:11,010 --> 00:33:12,350 Cheeky cotton bastard. 576 00:33:12,670 --> 00:33:15,310 I mean, how much longer do I have to wait? 577 00:33:15,690 --> 00:33:16,770 Do my best, all right? 578 00:33:20,910 --> 00:33:24,250 I'm sorry, little lad, but they told me to get the mouth out, yeah? I heard one 579 00:33:24,250 --> 00:33:25,910 woman mention a stampede. Hold on. 580 00:33:27,210 --> 00:33:29,310 Daddy? I don't know. I just don't know. 581 00:33:32,950 --> 00:33:38,690 Braised rabbit casserole in a rich fig gravy, caramelised carrot puree and... 582 00:33:38,690 --> 00:33:41,430 straw garnish. 583 00:33:42,510 --> 00:33:43,510 Hello. 584 00:33:48,110 --> 00:33:49,110 Hello. 585 00:34:08,650 --> 00:34:09,770 Ladies and gents. 586 00:34:13,130 --> 00:34:15,650 Sorry for the delay, as you know. 587 00:34:16,010 --> 00:34:17,889 We've had a little bit of trouble today, but... 588 00:34:18,639 --> 00:34:20,179 Sorry, can I just have a bit of hash, please? 589 00:34:20,580 --> 00:34:22,239 Thank you. 590 00:34:22,500 --> 00:34:23,500 Thank you. 591 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:25,320 Oh! 592 00:34:30,780 --> 00:34:32,679 I think the thieves have gone. 593 00:34:33,260 --> 00:34:34,260 OK, hang on. 594 00:34:38,100 --> 00:34:40,320 There we go. 595 00:34:40,540 --> 00:34:44,139 Right, well, first of all, I just want to say a big thank you for coming. 596 00:34:44,540 --> 00:34:47,380 It's lovely to see so many faces here. 597 00:34:47,820 --> 00:34:53,400 And, um... I'm just really bloody proud to be honest with you. 598 00:34:54,100 --> 00:34:57,460 Of, uh... You know. 599 00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:04,920 But before you tuck into the food, courtesy of the cafe 600 00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,820 de Les Allens, I'd like to say a few words. 601 00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:16,180 Firstly... Sorry about that. 602 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:17,200 A new alarm. 603 00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:18,740 Probably just resetting itself. 604 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,040 Chinese. 605 00:35:20,420 --> 00:35:21,420 Very high end. 606 00:35:21,940 --> 00:35:22,980 Now, where was I? 607 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:27,080 Yes, I'd like to say a big thank you to everybody who donated food this evening. 608 00:35:27,100 --> 00:35:31,480 We couldn't have done it without you. And secondly, I'd like to say a thank 609 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:35,460 to my lovely... It's the motion. 610 00:35:36,060 --> 00:35:38,060 Very sensitive. 611 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:40,200 Top of the range. 612 00:35:40,580 --> 00:35:41,580 Chinese! 613 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,860 People, just stand still, please. I'm sure we'll go quiet and stop. 614 00:35:53,540 --> 00:35:59,080 Welcome one and all to what I'm sure will be a great evening at the Café de 615 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:03,840 Allens. Eat, drink and be merry, but most of all drink. That'll really help 616 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,460 profits. So, cheers. 617 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,120 Cheers! 618 00:36:09,620 --> 00:36:10,720 Right, let's stop! 619 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:11,879 There we are! 620 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,000 Down completely still! 621 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:18,640 Thank you. 622 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,620 Now, please, nobody move while we reset the alarm. 623 00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:24,700 Stay still. 624 00:36:28,900 --> 00:36:32,000 Who wants 625 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:37,100 champagne? 626 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:43,700 It's free. 627 00:37:08,970 --> 00:37:10,430 Seen something similar in Nam. 628 00:37:10,930 --> 00:37:12,590 Nam? Chippin' Nam. 629 00:37:13,450 --> 00:37:17,270 The recourse on disabling alarms and security systems. 630 00:37:18,050 --> 00:37:19,050 Okay. 631 00:37:25,090 --> 00:37:26,090 Slowly. 632 00:37:27,830 --> 00:37:28,830 Slowly. 633 00:37:34,410 --> 00:37:35,650 Come to daddy. 634 00:37:38,940 --> 00:37:39,940 Sorted. 635 00:37:41,340 --> 00:37:42,340 Yeah, 636 00:37:43,100 --> 00:37:44,140 that can't happen sometimes. 637 00:37:46,700 --> 00:37:47,700 Auntie Brenda. 638 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:50,320 How's it hanging? 639 00:37:51,260 --> 00:37:52,680 You tell me, good boy. 640 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:57,480 Not to hide her hair from you for days, and then you waltz in like Lord Lucan 641 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,280 with new teeth and a crate of champagne. 642 00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:03,620 I can explain. I'm bad enough in the current financial climate, what with 643 00:38:03,620 --> 00:38:04,620 tightening and... 644 00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:08,460 facts on the internet. You owe me an apology, David, and no mistake. 645 00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:11,720 I'm sorry. Oh, it's way too late to say sorry. 646 00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,320 Now, stop your watercolour. Tell me where you've been. 647 00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:16,920 I've been collecting my winnings. 648 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,340 Winnings? What winnings? 649 00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:21,980 My premium bonds came in. 650 00:38:23,460 --> 00:38:25,000 I won a million quid. 651 00:38:40,420 --> 00:38:41,420 Yes, 652 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,220 and so say all of us. 653 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,220 Cheers. Thank you. 654 00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:55,040 And can I assure you that winning this money won't change me at all? 655 00:38:55,420 --> 00:38:56,420 Lend us 50 quid, then. 656 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:57,800 No. 657 00:38:58,900 --> 00:39:02,200 The good Lord is looking down on Pomp de Berry today. 658 00:39:02,420 --> 00:39:03,940 This money is exact. 659 00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:07,540 Exactly what we've always needed, a major investment of capital. 660 00:39:07,860 --> 00:39:09,620 Yes, this will really change things for me. 661 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:14,440 New buses, new signs, an advertising campaign. 662 00:39:14,700 --> 00:39:15,920 Do you think what we can do? 663 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,380 I'm planning to do quite a lot, yes. 664 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,160 This is a game -changer for us. For me, yes. 665 00:39:23,020 --> 00:39:25,420 Congratulations, Bud. Thank you. Thank you. 666 00:39:31,460 --> 00:39:32,640 Where have you been? 667 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:36,520 It's a secret. I kind of need to show you rather than tell you. Why are you so 668 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:37,520 filthy? 669 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,880 Seriously, Michael, what have you been doing? I thought you were going to be 670 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,020 here. Come home with me and I'll explain everything. 671 00:39:44,340 --> 00:39:45,700 Come on, you are going to love this. 672 00:39:50,860 --> 00:39:52,640 Just be patient, will you? 673 00:40:06,740 --> 00:40:07,740 One. 674 00:40:08,380 --> 00:40:09,380 Surprise! 675 00:40:12,220 --> 00:40:14,520 Oh, my God. 676 00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:17,540 OK, just hear me out. What have you done? 677 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,960 The house fell through today. Yeah, I can see that. 678 00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:23,040 No, I mean, the buyer pulled out. Turns out we've got dry rot in the walls and 679 00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:27,020 it's going to cost a packet to fix. Michael! I know, nightmare, right? Or is 680 00:40:27,020 --> 00:40:28,460 in fact the best thing that could have happened? 681 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,720 I mean, we've all been on top of each other recently. 682 00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,180 And this is so obvious, it's brilliant. I thought, why not make use of the space 683 00:40:34,180 --> 00:40:35,180 we already have? 684 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:36,200 So you did this on purpose? 685 00:40:36,380 --> 00:40:39,340 Well, you said it was nice that we're all under one roof, so it's your idea, 686 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:40,440 really. 687 00:40:42,540 --> 00:40:45,520 Luke, Zoe and the kids can live at mine. I can have their room as an office. 688 00:40:45,820 --> 00:40:48,920 Obviously, this whole needs cleaning up, but Yanto's back in the morning, and 689 00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:49,920 once it's done, it solves everything. 690 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,440 Are you having a nervous breakdown? 691 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:59,460 Plus, we can put the rent from Luke and Zoe towards sourcing out the dry rot. 692 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:00,560 What rent? 693 00:41:00,590 --> 00:41:01,750 I'm not a charity, Stel. 694 00:41:02,090 --> 00:41:04,490 And once it's all done and we're back on our feet, I'm going to look to sell 695 00:41:04,490 --> 00:41:08,290 again. How can you sell this house with a creepy bloody hole in the wall? 696 00:41:08,550 --> 00:41:09,550 It's temporary. 697 00:41:09,830 --> 00:41:10,830 Mind out. 698 00:41:11,550 --> 00:41:14,010 She's taking it better than I thought, but... You don't think this is a good 699 00:41:14,010 --> 00:41:15,010 idea, do you? 700 00:41:15,330 --> 00:41:16,550 It's better for Sophie and Jack. 701 00:41:17,210 --> 00:41:18,990 Let's face it, we were getting under each other's feet. 702 00:41:19,270 --> 00:41:20,069 Were we? 703 00:41:20,070 --> 00:41:22,930 And I'm going to be paying rent. I'm not freeloading, I mean it. 704 00:41:25,310 --> 00:41:26,310 See? 705 00:41:33,740 --> 00:41:34,740 How did we do, Dad? 706 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,000 Not too bad, little Al, not too bad. 707 00:41:37,780 --> 00:41:38,840 First night's always tricky. 708 00:41:39,180 --> 00:41:40,180 That's what they say. 709 00:41:40,660 --> 00:41:41,660 Yeah. 710 00:41:41,860 --> 00:41:46,320 We might have to be a bit more frugal from now on. Tighten belts, pull up 711 00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:47,479 that sort of thing. 712 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,020 The food was fantastic, little Al. 713 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:51,580 Everyone said so. 714 00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:57,380 Did we actually make any money? 715 00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:58,800 Yes and no. 716 00:41:59,300 --> 00:42:00,300 Mainly no. 717 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,200 But we're a great team, though, eh? 718 00:42:03,660 --> 00:42:05,280 This place isn't until the time I storm. 719 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:06,760 You really think so? 720 00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:08,160 Do you? 721 00:42:09,540 --> 00:42:10,540 Definitely. 722 00:42:41,610 --> 00:42:42,610 Everything all right? 723 00:42:43,510 --> 00:42:44,510 Perfect. 724 00:42:51,590 --> 00:42:52,590 There you go. 725 00:43:13,660 --> 00:43:14,700 How's it looking next door? 726 00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:18,780 OK, I admit you weren't a complete idiot with the wall. 727 00:43:19,100 --> 00:43:20,100 You're too kind. 728 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,300 And we are still all living under one roof, technically. 729 00:43:22,740 --> 00:43:23,740 Which is warming to it. 730 00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:26,000 And I know it's going to make it easier for you. 731 00:43:26,780 --> 00:43:31,340 So... What I'm saying is I can live with it for a while, like. 732 00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:32,960 Well, thank you. 733 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,160 I won't go on. You're probably charging me for your time. 734 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,320 By the way, you're going to have to look sexy covered in dust. 735 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:43,600 Hey, good boy. 736 00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:45,360 Much harassment, that is. 737 00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:46,720 Maybe you should call a lawyer. 738 00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:48,840 I will. 739 00:43:49,340 --> 00:43:51,740 I'm going to call the best lawyer in the West. 740 00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:54,240 I will. 741 00:43:59,540 --> 00:44:02,260 Like I said, I don't want to get no one in trouble. Maybe I shouldn't have come 742 00:44:02,260 --> 00:44:04,380 here. This sounds very much like sexual harassment. 743 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:08,280 Hey, Mr. Lawyer. 744 00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:10,560 Beyonce. 745 00:44:11,430 --> 00:44:12,710 This is your final warning? 746 00:44:12,950 --> 00:44:13,950 We've got so much in common. 747 00:44:14,450 --> 00:44:15,450 Where have you been? 748 00:44:15,610 --> 00:44:17,870 Sorry, I've lost track of time. I should have called. 749 00:44:18,090 --> 00:44:19,090 Yeah, you should. 52106

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.