Original subtitles

I know you from somewhere.

Face it, um... I think I just got one of them faces.

Still want it to stop?

Lydia.

I haven't even met you and my wife!

I think I'd better get you home.

I'll see you at the stag.

When my heart stops beating, I let go, we can't stop

A cup of tea for you.

And some aspirin.

Please tell me we didn't have sex.

We didn't have sex.

So why are you here, then?

You were a bit worse for wear last night.

I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Oh, my God. Did I try and make

you have sex?

Yes. I am beyond mortified, embarrassed, humiliated and assumed.

Am I that bad a proposition?

Look, I was completely wrecked.

Obviously, I didn't mean none of it, and I'd really appreciate it if you didn't

tell no -one.

Don't worry, your secret's safe with me.

Yeah, but don't make it sound like a thing now, OK?

There isn't a thing.

OK.

Got to go.

Right, well, you know, thanks and all that.

I didn't do anything.

Exactly.

Oh, God.

Right, go, pop it, pop it.

It moves up.

Pop it.

One, two, three.

I thought it was one -two left turn. Yeah, it is.

That's your right foot.

Oh, yeah.

On the top.

Stop messing about.

What? We're practising. We've got to dance. We've got the auditions next

Never mind. Got to dance?

You've got to concentrate.

Rugby. Right.

Coming in. Stop messing.

In.

See those fellas over there?

Don't look, but... They're scouts.

I'm in the scout. You've never seen them?

No, no.

Talent scouts.

Probably from one of the big clubs.

Looking for the next generation of new talent.

They'll show them what the better you can do, eh, lads?

Touch on them back.

I really

need

to talk to someone. Last night was just awful for the reunion thing.

Everything's just falling apart.

I just...

You and I must come and see me again, yes?

Yes. All will be well.

Yes.

There you go.

Ah, cheers.

You're doing a lovely job.

Oh, be great.

See my gloves anywhere? Yeah. I like to find the lips.

I'll drop it out. So we used to call him, you know, on D -Wing, Mrs.

Mott. Hey!

Oh, what's up, missy?

Put them in a thing?

Gloves are on, yuck.

Morning, gentlemen.

Hello. Morning.

What do you think, though?

Impressive, eh?

Yeah.

Very. Oh, perfect, granted, but, you know, there's definitely something there

build on. Yeah, well, from our point of view, it's a prime sight.

What? The sight.

It's absolutely ideal.

Hey!

But I'm watching what I eat. Don't want to put on any weight before the

audition, lad. You're turning into a right little West End Wendy, aren't you?

Aw, leave him be, man. He's just dedicated, that's all.

Anyway, I love that Billy Elliot, me.

Especially the one who played the brother.

What is she actually doing up there?

It's a manifestation meditation.

To manifest positivity into her day.

Me and her lala think they're doing it.

Right, that's it.

We'll go and do lala. I'll see you later.

OK, cheers, Josh.

Yeah, definitely.

What do you think?

Nice. You're not even looking.

Yeah, it's nice.

And you'll wear what you wore to the engagement, is it, son?

Yeah.

Son, man, I'm trying my best by you. You haven't had to do nothing for Saturday.

I've done all the planning, me and your mum.

The least you can do is show an interest.

Sorry. Look, it's brilliant what you're doing.

Abra's going to remember it for the rest of his life.

Don't be a dick.

He's only five months old.

His memory faculty isn't fully developed yet.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, but it's a mam.

For plastic chairs for the back garden.

I know it from Leah.

One -to -one tutorial moved to three o 'clock.

God, it's boring being a student, mind.

Yeah. Right, I'm going to get him out of today before he's sick on it.

It's better be quick.

I'm halfway through a pig.

Right.

I now call this emergency meeting to order.

Alan has something he'd like to share with us.

Alan? Yeah.

Well, I'm sorry, boys, but it's in the council's interest for us not to renew

the lease because, and wait for it, there are property developers crawling

over the pitch.

I ended up like a docker in a strip club.

Yes, Alan, we already know that.

Eh? Actually, we were rather hoping you'd have some more information for us.

right, yeah. Well, there's two fellas.

I met them Saturday.

I thought they were talent scouts.

Pink tie.

One of them drives a Volvo.

I don't know if that tells us anything.

What's your cut, Alan?

My cut? Well, it must be giving you something.

Sorry, Lanny, but I need 20 quid.

I'll give you 10. Now, this morning, where'd that go?

You need to report it first and out of hour.

In the bag.

Hey!

Just let her get the money out.

Has it got to do with you, Cinders?

Have you met Cinderella? She sweeps up around you. Wind it in, Lanny. Oh,

Pat.

Leave it.

Who's that saying?

Daddy, is it? Come to pick up for you, is it?

It's the pride of mine, because I didn't know you had one. I thought you were a

proper little mommy's boy. That's the best you can do, is it? All right, all

right. Everyone calm down.

There's a kid here.

You all right, love?

Yeah.

My advice is... But you're going to give it to me anyway, right?

Lenny Mac's only got one way of solving an argument, and trust me, you'd come

off worse.

However much you like his girlfriend.

I said I like his girlfriend.

Hang on a minute.

Hiya. All right?

That's Luke from the gym. I know.

Do you want a lift? We've got a car.

Oh, that'd go down well, wouldn't it?

All right, Len, I just got brought home by a complete stranger, don't mind you.

Be fair, I'm not a complete stranger.

Better one, like.

Listen, I sort of know Lenny.

If you ever need a hand with stuff or you just want to chat, you know, you can

always give me a ring, yeah?

And how do I do that, then?

If I haven't got your number?

All right.

You were inside with him, weren't you?

Yeah.

I remember seeing you sometimes, on visit flights.

Do you?

Yeah, I do.

OK, well, thanks for that.

I'll see you.

I hope so.

Come.

Say a word.

We're not stupid, Alan. When your ex -wife, the property developer, started

bring potential partners round the club, we put two and two together. And we got

four. We're barely on speaking terms. Everyone has their price, Alan.

You've got to believe me. This has nothing to do with me. That's what

said about his 40 pieces of silver.

Who? Judith.

Judith the chariot.

Judith's man.

Judas Iscariot. No, it's not.

This meeting's over, then, is it? For you, it is.

It's 30 pieces of silver, actually.

And I wouldn't want them anyway.

Not if you paid me.

Yeah, Judas.

sickly open upon the back of the beans.

I am sorry, Pashman, but I am feeling a lot of aggressive energy from Di right

now.

Hence.

See? Don't say I am not trying you.

Shh.

Let's just focus for a moment.

And breathe.

Close your eyes.

OK, Paula, last time we were talking about unfulfilled lives, about what you

feel you've missed out on.

Yeah.

So I have had a tattoo done, and it's a panther, OK? And later on, I am going

clubbing. Deal with it.

I never stopped you getting a tattoo.

No, but you stopped me wanting one.

Hint? Me and Carl are knocking takeaways and all that on the edge of the time

being.

The MSG.

You know what's a trillion like.

Right, and I'll be for anything, but what do you actually want? Because I've

to get on and I thought you had a panning shop to run.

Sorry.

It's a bit awkward, to be honest.

Not money, is it? Because I've got none.

No!

OK.

Well, right, you've got two kids with Carl, obviously.

Yes. And I just wondered, when you caught...

You know, when you went and called on it and you caught with Ember and then Ben,

did it... What position did you do with him?

Cos we tried everything we have.

Mixing reed, doggy, on top, under, pulling the arrow, minding the gap,

bridge, star lock, hanging the cable, oh, and the Arctic wheelbarrow, and it

just isn't working.

Oh. Hiya.

Hiya.

Right, well, I'd better be off.

Have a think.

Give me a ring if you remember like.

Right.

When you pop in for that spray, Tanny, you won't regret it, you know.

Really?

Rob wants to talk to us about something, doesn't he? Sort of, yeah.

Oh, my God, you haven't said nothing to him, have you? About what?

About the reunion, me being a dick.

Don't know what you're talking about, Stella.

Oh, me, you'd come.

Did you like my enigmatic test?

I thought we could get to the bay or something.

I'm not meant to be here. I lied to Emma. That's what you do when you have

affair, Sonny. You tell lies, lots of lies. But we're not having an affair.

Yet.

I'm telling you now, Leah.

You've got to stop.

You're freaking me out.

I didn't mean to.

I just really like you, that's all.

Yeah, well, stop really liking me.

OK?

OK.

Sorry.

I figure if I'm going to need someone to help me out, to look after things this

end when I'm back in Canada, I'm going to need someone I can trust.

Well, yeah, I can see that, Rob. And, you know, I'm really flattered. It's

I'm not sure it's a good idea, me working for you, even long distance. Oh,

no, you'd hate it, him telling you what to do on the phone every day. And

Bobby's asked me to help out at Simpsons for a bit. They're having terrible

trouble finding someone. I mean, I haven't said yes yet, but still.

I actually meant Luke.

Oh, well, that's embarrassing.

Don't be silly.

I mean, God, what do I know of a building?

Well, I'm me.

Dad, I can't do it, man. Of course you can.

I'll be on the end of the phone. Yeah, eight hours behind and 5 ,000 miles

Look, Morris, don't you dare say no. It's a fantastic opportunity.

I know that.

I just... I don't want to let you down. I'm big, Ray. I've only just started

working there.

I mean, will I have to give it up?

Not straightaway, no.

And I admire your loyalty, I have to say.

Yeah, not a bad set of values for a boy with a prison record and an absent

father, Rob Morgan.

Shut up.

There's something else.

I want to change the name of the company from Ponterberry Construction... Well,

that makes sense.

...to Robert Morgan and Son.

And I was wondering how you'd feel, Luke, about changing your surname...

Morgan.

I don't know what to say.

Well?

I think... better late than never.

It's a brilliant idea.

To Robert Morgan and his son, Luke.

Is she a bit loony to you? No, that's just a sign.

You're right, you can get pineapple juice.

Cheers, Gareth.

His name is Gethin.

Gethin, Gareth.

Counting.

Tell you what, that dance for tonight is absolutely eeny, meeny, macka, macka,

ra, ra, domina, chicka, popa, lolly, popa, rom, pom, but.

Ah, look at you lot. Fair play.

It's cracking when girls go on the lash for their mum's like.

You think that's my mother?

Hiya, Sal.

Where the cock are you?

You were meant to be owned by it. We're getting Chinese, remember?

No, don't worry about me. I'm down reflections with the girls.

What girls?

She didn't bloody reflection.

What, Jasmine's dead?

What? Jasmine doesn't need 12 months.

She's 17, you idiot.

Anyway, I'm not angry.

Don't wait up. I got a key.

Right. I'll get the food while you go and pick your auntie up. Oh, ma 'am,

place is more like a crest than a club.

Exactly. Go and get her because she's arrested for cradle -snatching.

I'll be back with you in ten.

Are you sure you don't want to drop the drink?

Nah.

I'm on a bit of a fitness drive, I am. You look pretty fit already.

Paula.

Is that Lanto?

You were the best thing that's happened to me since I got out of Elman Province.

Huh? Do you know your husband?

No.

He's just one of my patients.

I'm a nurse.

I love you.

Oh.

Come on. It was just a bit of fun.

I'm seeing Gareth in now.

Are you?

What?

orders from my mother. No, I don't want to go home yet.

No choice, Auntie Paula.

Look, I am 42 years old. I will not be told what I can and what I can't do. But

you... Then

I

thought, okay, Melissa Williams, let's make a break time.

Either you stay with a man towards whom you feel nothing but intolerance and

repulsion, or you get out while you still can. Get fit, get fighting, and

yourself back into that careers market.

Because that was getting fatter too, you see, Rob.

Obesity within the home is endemic.

Yes, I had heard you used to look different.

I mean, I know you probably can't believe it looking at me now, but I

So what about you, then?

I know so little about you. Tell me what makes Rob Morgan tick.

Oh, you know, simple things, really.

I'm not a complicated soul.

Anyway, listen, we should really be getting down to business.

I've been looking through these schedules and I can't see... Don't be

Robert.

I want to get to know the man behind that business mind of yours.

Who he is, where he's going, what he wants.

Who he won't.

You OK, then?

Is

everything

all right? Yeah, she seems to have got something stuck in her throat.

Romantic dinner for two, is it? No, Robin, I was just talking... Actually,

were just introduced the other day, weren't we, Mel?

Yes, that's right.

And we just seemed to, er... click.

Oh.

You never mentioned it earlier.

Excuse me, can I just check? This is not free, isn't it? Only I'm allergic.

I'll go find out.

Right, well, enjoy the rest of your evening.

I hope you don't get nothing else stuck in your throat.

I'm so sorry.

Was that a massive faux pas?

Oh, I just need to choose my moment to go public on this development.

The rugby club is a sensitive issue. It's going to put a lot of noses out of

joint. It's also going to put a lot of money in a lot of bank accounts.

Well, I know that, but I think Ponterbury might take a bit of

Stella Morris.

She's the mother of your boy, isn't she?

Luke, yeah.

Still carrying a torch?

Oh, I doubt it.

I meant you, not her.

May I interest you in some chilli beef?

Having a little party? Are we fresh?

No. Well, make sure you invite me if you do, will you? You don't be drinking on

your lonesome. Not in your current state of mind.

Cheers, sir. Thanks, Jack.

Oh, your love!

Honey Brenda!

Designated driver, are you, Carl?

No, what it is, it's Nadine.

She's trying to get up the stick, she is.

Yes, I had heard, my friend. Oh, Christ, hasn't she given up yet?

We've already done it four times today. I don't know whether I'm coming or

going.

Well... Actually, yes, I get it.

All right, Di? Having a little party, are you, bud?

No, I'm not.

You'll all be joining us, I hope, for Abra's Naamkaran on Saturday?

Oh, lovely.

Yes, it'll be lovely.

Really lovely and really nice.

Would you like a bag for that, Di?

Leave him, Jack.

He don't want no bag.

Give me some of them pork scratchings, will you? No offence, like.

Might need a snack to get me through the neck one night.

Having a party, are we?

No, I'm not having a fucking party.

Why is everybody asking me that?

You know what, Di?

You have got some serious anger issues that you need to resolve.

And getting drunk really isn't the answer.

Oh, yes.

Says the bloody raging alcoholic.

For your information, I haven't had a drink for several days now because I

to deal with my problems head on and not drown myself in a vat of self -pity.

Pour me, pour me, pour me another drink.

Want to be a camp pick -up?

I'll be outside, all right?

Hello, Alan.

Come to pay your council tips?

I'm working, actually.

Thank you very much.

Sorry, but I've got to tell you something.

Oh, here we go.

What the hell are you doing with that clap?

Why can't you leave her alone?

I'm sorry, that's business. It's got nothing to do with you.

As a matter of fact, if I could die today, I think I'd have to deal with you

stitch him up.

Does he?

You.

Do you remember your savings account when we were married, Alan?

That big whiskey bottle full of 20 peas. Nearly 18 pounds you managed in four

years.

Not exactly Lord Sugar, are you?

I'll get money, you know.

I'll take it alone.

Buy the lease myself.

Keep your grasping fingers off it.

On what you earn.

Less.

Always the dreamer.

Excuse me?

You don't get it, do you?

People love that club.

They care about it like it's one of their own.

And you can't add that up in your little columns or stick it in the bank and

make interest on it.

It's a passion, isn't it? It's the heart of the beach in the middle of this

valley.

And a few years ago, you'd have understood that.

You used to be nice once.

Has my taxi arrived yet?

Just parked outside.

Oh, bloody hell!

This is an absolute travesty! He's got more rhythm than you and he's been dead

since Tuesday!

Let's take a little break, is it?

Boys, you're 20p.

Go and get us some sweets.

Still. What have I become?

Normally I love choreography. I'm a natural with the dance.

And patient and tolerant and passionate. But now... Now I'm so damn stressed I

couldn't choreograph an aunt on a sugar lump.

It didn't work.

Yeah.

Oh, it's all getting on top of you.

I just wish Paula would sort herself out and get back here.

I admit that, Del, to be honest.

I miss her and, well, so do people like him.

Right.

I've been having a think about your little offer, you know, to help out for

bit, and I decided to accept.

As long as you don't go expecting too much of me.

Oh, still!

Like I won't work evenings.

OK. And I'm not washing no dead man's willies, no nothing.

Oh, you.

And a lifesaver, Stella Morris, do you know that?

He probably wouldn't agree with that.

You say that they've all left you behind

Your heart broke

when the party died

Drape your arms around me

and...

thinking, you know, about finding fulfilment.

Would you say you were fulfilled, Pash?

Paula, one word?

Look beyond the wall.

Like what wall?

Your wall.

The wall of Joseph Bluggs. It doesn't matter whose wall it is, Paula.

We are forever worrying about our own problems, our own fears, our own trials,

our own beings.

Be a giver, Paula.

Not a parasite.

Right.

Thanks, Pash.

Hello.

I've tried and I've tried and there's nowhere that sofa's going to fit in the

bath. Jasminder, I am telling you, I've measured and I've calculated and I've

tried it myself.

And if that damn sofa does not fit into that damn bath, then I'm a butcher's

dog.

Hooey.

Paula. Hiya.

Namaste. Namaste.

Oh, this is lovely. Fair play.

Oh, thanks for taking him. You're a star.

You can see how men feel at all, eh?

It's a pleasure.

I just want to give you some time for yourself.

I'm always so caught up in my own problems, my own fears, my own trials.

Maybe I need to look at what other people need.

I need to look beyond the wall.

Emma!

How long ago did you take those budgies out?

Oh, not now, Tan.

Right, there's a bottle in there and a spin -up. You probably don't think you

need it.

We are going to have such a good time, aren't we?

And you'll get them back by half one when you're so I can get them ready.

Bet you bought them, darling, Missy.

Mrs. Chowdhury. Jasminda told us to come up. Oh, did she, huh? I'm Leah and this

is Josh. Hi.

We're friends of Sonny's from uni.

Oh!

Welcome!

Lovely to meet you.

Hiya.

Loving the dress, mate. Sorry we're early.

What are you doing here?

The meet's getting ready.

Thought we'd surprise you.

I'll try you on the seatbelt, but I think you have to be about the same body

weight as the other person, so that's not going to work.

Well, you only weigh about what?

Ten pounds, give or take?

So we could try the swing, but I think you might slide out the bottom, so

not going to work either.

Are you happy just watching?

Because I don't mind if you don't.

Never knew you were the maternal type, Paula.

Yeah, well, there's a lot of people who don't know about me, Rob Morgan.

for a cheeseburger, didn't he?

Yeah, just a bit.

Yeah, I thought that. I was just checking.

See you.

Sorry, Willie.

I thought I'd have several showers at all.

Let me introduce you to my mum, Nina.

She's come all the way from the north.

Of India?

Of Leeds.

Hey, old lass.

Nice to see thee.

Excellent.

Excellent. OK, people, let's get this norm current started, shall we? Please,

come through.

You know who that is, don't you? The mother.

Hiya, kids.

All right.

Spine -like elastic, by all accounts.

Bloody hell, hello.

All right?

Shop's closed early, they've got a thing. No, I'm here for the naming do.

invited me.

How do you know Emma?

Oh, my God, yeah. Mother and baby group.

Why haven't you called me yet, then?

Bloody hell, not very patient, you.

I take it Lenny's not coming?

No.

Strangely enough, not really a scene.

Fucking player.

Oh, come off it, Sonny. Don't pretend you're not enjoying the danger. Son,

got a problem.

Hiya. Thanks for coming.

And I'm sorry about the ball in there.

We OK now, you and me?

Yeah. Oh, great.

Because it's really nice for Sonny to have his uni friends here.

You look beautiful, by the way.

Thanks. And I honestly don't know why they're here. Never mind all that.

It's not very well having a baby name in ceremony.

But at the moment, we haven't got no baby to name.

Oh, where's my phone?

He's watching all of you, he is, Papa.

Oh, we have really bonded.

Right, this is us now.

He's getting christened today, he is.

Well, I say christened, he's actually induced, though.

I've got to get this, he'll be his man.

Can you just hold him a minute, Papa?

I'm on the bus now.

Shit,

hang on.

I nearly left my bloody coat on the bus.

Oh, sorry, Ems.

Oh, yeah, we're heading back to you now.

Sorry we're a bit late, but we've had a lovely time, haven't we?

Emma, I'll call you back.

Have I missed anything?

What in God's name are you doing here, Robert Morgan? It's the close family

only, this Christmas.

It's got to be.

OK, damke, what's your call with Eva?

Emma invited me. For some reason, she thinks Rob's her stepdad, doesn't she?

Aye. Right.

Well, she's always been a bit thick, that way. Oh, charming.

Oh, dear.

She's hip, isn't she?

Will you be singing any hymns, do you think?

I know, but I lay you down. I'm so, so sorry.

Actually, the traffic lights get stuck on red like that for a whole half an

hour. Yeah.

Oh, right.

Let's dam it up.

Right,

now, Emma.

Whisper his name.

Into here.

Abracadabra.

Abracadabra.

Abracadabra.

Abracadabra.

Abracadabra. I just want to say come in.

Tahata.

Thank you very much.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Hiya. I'm Stella, Emma's mum. I'm Zoe, Emma's friend.

And this one's by the looks of it.

Yeah.

Can I put him down for a nap, then?

Yeah.

It's nice to meet you.

There's trouble ahead with that one, I'm telling you.

I think it may have already started.

I've got a confession to make.

Oh, God. You haven't slept with Yanto again, have you? What? No.

The reason I'm laid back with the baby.

Oh, God.

I left him on the bus.

It was only for half a minute and Bopper Boyce was holding him. But I'm worried

I might have traumatised him and given him abandonment issues.

I left Ben on a train run for Jen to patrol that.

Did you?

You've turned out all right, haven't you?

He loves stretching his arms out. He hates sleeping in the pram.

He's so cute.

Yeah.

He'd be lost without him, I would.

You know that Lenny... I'm sorry.

It's just... I didn't know Lenny that long, you know.

before I got pregnant, and he was in prison for six months, so... So he

realise what a twat he was until it was too late.

He's still Jack's dad.

Sorry.

I just can't stand it, how he talks to you in that dumb big raise. I mean, why

do you put up with it? Because he's still Jack's dad.

Things are never straightforward, Luke.

Yep. Jack wants everyone together.

He's got a surprise worth of them in.

I'd better stay with Jack, just to leave. No, go on. He'll be all right.

I've got the monitor on.

OK.

Which one's Beth and...

That one's beautiful, isn't she?

Let me give you a word of advice, Benny boy.

Oh, here we go.

Don't give yourself to no woman, all right?

Because guaranteed she will break you a heart.

Even if it takes her 24 years to do it, that's what she'll do.

She'll take it, and she'll twist it, and she'll smash it, and she'll crush it,

and she'll crack it. All right, calm down, Di. You'll put him off with me for

life.

Do you know about girls, Rob? Me? Good God, no. Yeah, he does.

He's dating little Alan's mum.

No, I am not, no.

Oh, come on, Mundy. Take it easy, is there?

I'm just having a drink.

It's a party, right?

OK, everyone.

Time now for something a bit special.

Apparently. Please put your hands together and give a warm welcome to...

Chagadish Audrey!

Hey, how are you all doing tonight?

I'd like to dedicate this song to my grandson, Abra.

This makes me very, very proud. Oh, Sharks, you all make me proud. Even my

mother -in -law.

It's not unusual to be loved by anyone.

It's not unusual to have fun with anyone.

But if I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not

unusual to see me crying.

Go out at any time.

When I see you out and about, it's such a crime.

If you should ever want to be loved by anyone... Who are you?

Zoe's boyfriend.

What's he doing here?

He's Anna's brother.

Yeah, right.

Expect me to believe that shit, do you? I said, what is he doing here? Get out,

Lenny. Oh, you see?

Oh, you see? I think he told you to get out. Yeah, get out.

Ain't going nowhere.

Calm down, but it's a private party, like. Don't get involved, Carl.

He might have a knife.

Where's the kid?

Where is he? He's here.

Happy now?

This is Emma, and that's her brother, and this is her family.

And you just made me look really stupid.

I'm left in the toss -up.

Join in for a fight, sir. Fight?

More like annihilation.

Well, boys, it was a good effort.