Original subtitles

The following program contains strong language.

I'm just really enjoying it working with you, doing the undertaking.

Oh God, it would be very good.

I've lost my job.

You love Sean, that's all that matters.

I'm not sure if I do, perhaps.

Give me one good reason why she'd drop in for you. Because I love her.

I think she loves me.

I slept with Rob.

She smiles.

And my heart starts beating.

I let go. We can fly. La la la.

La la.

It's a scandal.

A bloody scandal.

We're a damn breed of lollipop men.

Like the Mainers.

Or man like those is.

Go on then, boys.

Get yourselves off.

I'll be fine.

You alright?

Well, I'm not really, am I?

That's the point.

Maybe she's already been passed.

Who are you waiting for?

Your love.

Hiya, Beth, lad.

Hello? Can we cross now?

You'll appreciate me more when I'm gone.

But I'll still be here in spirit.

Guiding you.

My flock.

We'd been at her bedside for a few days before she went.

Telling stories and talking to her.

We're shouting even, just in case.

Just in case she could hear us, like.

I wish you life of nobody.

She didn't. Seemed to.

But just as she was passing over, my son leaned in, didn't you?

And he said... Tell me what you said.

I said, er... Night -night, Jane.

And he gave her a little kiss on her forehead.

And she smiled.

She actually died with a smile on her face.

Might not have been a smile, of course.

Fascinating area. I've been reading about this.

Sometimes it looks like a dead body is smiling, but really it's just a muscle

spasm round the mouth.

Corpses can get these involuntary spasms where the muscles can just start

twitching and jerking.

Like this.

A bit like when you cut the head off a chicken.

Can I have your word?

Excuse me.

But I won't. We all want to be free but not alone.

So off you go just like before. I hear you slam the tidy door.

Hope you find what you're looking for.

I ought to be strong, Weber.

You do all the boxing and that. I need to arrive at Harley.

His sperm's got to be top -notch. I don't know, babes. That Rob Morgan,

he's like some kind of wild stag, isn't he? All full of manhood and mystery.

Steady now, Dean.

I'm just saying, if I had to put my money on anyone's sperm, it'd be Rob

Morgan's. Every day of the week.

No contest.

Sean's like 20 years younger, isn't he? Charlie Chaplin had a baby when he was

93. That is disgusting.

His wife should have had him clipped.

Amazing thing, the human sperm.

You know that if a sperm was the size of a man, it could swim twice around the

world.

So if a sperm was the size of a fella, how big would the balls be then?

About the size of a Vauxhall Cavalier.

That's date.

Whoa.

Sean. You're like hotcakes, is that?

Defying the laws of recession.

Can't you sleep?

Watch me.

I've got a scan on Wednesday. Leave me till then. Well, if the baby's mine...

Oh, of course it's yours. If it is, I'll support you, financially.

I don't care about the money.

Right, you are. All finished.

Oh, come on, babes. Let's go inside and talk.

You know, all this time, you just let me carry on. Playing happy families, the

new dad. All this time, Stella, knowing that you did what you did. I mean... How

do you sleep at night?

I am being sleeping as it goes. Oh, well, my heart bleeds.

Sorry. Fingers have been in before, haven't we?

You saying you're sorry.

Saying you don't know why you did it. And me going, yeah, I understand, like a

bloody idiot.

And do you know what? I've had enough.

It's boring.

Does it turn you on, having blokes fighting over you? What? Come on.

I want to know.

Does it turn you on?

Right, you're out of order now. I'm out of order? I'm not the one who shacks

someone else.

You've broken one.

fucking heart.

Di, don't take this the wrong way, but I think it might be best if you stayed

back of house from now on.

Why? Well, dealing with the customers needs a certain lightness of touch.

You've always been like that.

Great big flappy hands like coal shovels. Clumsy bugger. Auntie Brenda,

like I said before, this isn't a good time. Oh, that's nice, isn't it? Not

had a cup of tea yet.

I'll get you one in a minute, Brash.

All I'm saying is you're skilled like elsewhere.

You're less of a show pony, more of a stallion.

Stallion? Big, strong, rugged stallion.

The kind that needs to be tamed.

Definitely. And the kindness stays well away from the customers.

Got it.

Price.

Morning, love.

What are you doing here? Dying of thirst.

Paula, have you got a minute?

Oh, she'll be wanting to talk about Sean.

How do you know?

Nerys Jones's youngest, best friend, Sister Laura's boyfriend.

He works in Ponty Estates.

He says Sean have put his flat on the market.

How do you get a girl like that to notice you?

Manny Edwards tells girls like you when you're mean to them.

Maybe you should go over and give her a dead leg.

We should put a sausage.

Aye.

Are we allowed to do it? Why wouldn't we be? Isn't it, like, dark or something?

No.

When my mum and dad split up, dad sometimes stood outside her house in the

garden. She used to get keeps to do the sprinklers on.

Really wish I bought a closet.

You sure?

Yeah.

I need a plan.

It's a dream, isn't it? I can't blame him, Paul.

I wouldn't hang around, would you?

I'm pregnant.

Right, you want to make some of this?

Body tonic, is it?

Do you want him to stay?

Oh, I'm fine.

To you, then.

Three different dads for my kids.

What's that say about me?

That you are gorgeous and blokes are queuing up to shag you.

Anyway, if Rob is the father, that's two different dads for your kids. So, you

know, swings and roundabouts.

If you ask me, it's all for the best.

Young fellow like that, he'd have been off like a ferret up a drainpipe when he

had that baby.

Men are like animals when they have to go without.

Let's see, little buggers.

And let's face it, kid, these past few months you've been punching above your

weight in the looks department.

Frame by frame.

If that unfold,

be good or be gone.

Be good or be gone.

Luke, is that you, babe?

Hiya, Mum. Can you see me?

No, not yet.

Well, turn your camera on.

Right.

Well, how do I turn the camera on?

Click on the little camera sign thing.

There you go.

Blimey, you look rough.

Thanks. Morning sickness, is it?

No, no, I'm just having a bit of a day of it, that's all.

Come on, cheer me up.

Tell me all your news.

All right, good.

Some news, I suppose, but they're not just going to cheer you up.

I'm being deported.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Shut up.

Shut up!

Better head off in a minute.

Yeah. Hey, do me a favour. Give these to Kate.

It's this new comedy place. I was going to see if she'd fancy going. It's a

shame to waste them. Luke.

Unless you want to go.

It's Tuesday night, it is.

I'm really sorry that things have turned out the way they have.

I spoke to Bill Ryder. He said nine times out of ten they never spot these

things. I should have warned you.

Heart rule in my head, I guess.

It's not your fault.

You're not the one with the criminal record, are you?

No prizes for guessing who your mother's going to blame for this.

Shall we go?

Mum's picking me up any minute.

No, no, it's not her turn today. She's taking me to the orthodontist.

Oh, for God's sake.

Orthodontist, my eye.

It's a bloody American import.

In my day, you went to the dentist once a year and that was your lot. And now

it's orthodontist this and hygiene is that and flossing. I mean, what's all

about? Never seen me flossing.

I've done all right, haven't I?

You know how I feel about your teeth, Alan.

Melissa.

The door was open. Good grief, have you been burgled?

No, I'm just having a bit of a clear -out, that's all.

Your Auntie Linda gave us this for a wedding present.

The woman had no taste.

At least she had a pulse.

I'll be in the car.

What time's he getting in?

Not too late.

Flight got delayed.

Stinks of paint in you.

That'll be the paint, Ben.

Won't that choke him or something?

Fine. I'll put him in with you.

He's not going in with me.

Oh, look, love.

Be nice, eh?

It's not going to be easy for him coming back.

Why can't he stay with Sean?

That's not going to be possible.

Anyway, this is Luke's home.

He belongs here.

What happens when the baby comes? Oh, I don't know, Ben.

Sorry.

I tell you what.

We'll have pizza tonight, shall we?

We can have a nice chat about things.

What things?

You know what it's like around here.

People talk, don't they?

Oh, I don't fancy you, all right?

What? Nothing.

Pizza sounds good.

So long.

Shall we cheese and a meat steak, then?

Hiya.

Are you late for school?

Sean, we need to talk.

Right.

Listen, mate, I know you're upset. I reckon you're going to know what's best.

Really sorry, it's just... About what?

Oh, you know, not being around lately.

I think they're busy with work and stuff.

That's OK.

Right.

You know loads about women, don't you?

Not as much as I thought.

What do they look for?

Not a man.

Is this about Bethan? Yeah.

You should probably talk to your dad, then.

No, I don't mean sex.

We've done all that in biology.

The whole man -woman relationship thing.

I just don't get it.

No, mate, I'm 32 and I still don't get it. See?

I was thinking.

I need a USP.

Something different to impress her with, like.

So I was wondering, we could go out on the bike this weekend, like.

We could... Ride past the Belmont where she works.

Well... Girls love motorbikes, don't they?

No, the thing is, Ben is... I mean, it works so well with your mum, doesn't it?

She loves the Harley.

How is your mum?

I don't know. Fine. We're having pizza later.

I just think I need to be taller.

Girls like tall blokes, don't they?

You'll be all right.

You've shut up low since I first met you. Really?

Definitely.

OK.

Better be off now, then.

See you soon.

Yeah, hey.

See Stella you said you can look after him. I know He got deported, Rock.

Look, it was out of my hands. If there was anything I could have done... You

looked me in the eye and you promised you'd look after him. He's 25. He's not

kid. Look, I feel awful about what's happened.

But there's still ways I can help him. Oh, you've done enough, thank you very

much. I'm flying over in a couple of days. I'll sit down with him and work

something out.

You and I need to sit down and all.

Well, that's not going to happen.

Stella, you're pregnant.

If not, you will.

How do you know?

Look, Rob, me and Sean done it loads of times, all right?

Loads. And you and me, we only done it once.

And Sean is way younger than you, and let's be honest, younger and more

So, you know, not rocket science.

Did you know about that?

There isn't enough.

Well, there's a lot of unanswered questions.

Like why we ended up in bed together, for one thing.

Daddy's hard working, isn't he?

Yes, he is.

Oh, you look not good.

Why don't you go back to bed for a bit?

I'll go get this done.

Just say your nan died or the dog ate her or something.

Helen Ward got out of her GCSE mocks by wearing a whiplash collar.

It's not like school.

I want to do this. I need to know it.

Get breakfast?

Fine. I just need to get home.

I'll make you something.

Let's get two pop tarts out the freezer, is there?

Can you hold him, Sonny?

Looks lovely.

Hola, Mama.

What's Mrs. Ruffey doing in here?

He goes to the vault. He's never been in.

It's a little bit of make -up, Daddy. I think I can handle it.

Hold that.

No,

it's not, man.

It's got the wrong skin tone for the green.

Now this blue, see?

Oh, it sets off the eyebrows.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Travis, dinner.

What is?

I just can't bring myself to leave.

I'm like one of them dogs at Whitespire's master's grave.

Oh, the crossing.

Aye, Pelican Crossing.

They'll be up and running next week.

They'll probably get some fancy celebrity to do a grand opening.

Charlotte Church, Lulu.

One of the airy bikers.

They probably won't, to be fair.

Aye.

Who knows anything anymore?

Oh, I've got to spare Lilo, if you are.

For the baby, is it?

Why would you put a baby on a lilo?

They're not waterproof.

No, it's... It's for a guest, like.

I have got one, but it's got a hole in it.

I'm buggered if I can work out where it's coming from.

Aye, it never rains.

Yeah, I haven't got one anyway.

Oh, Stella, but the, um... Don't you worry about what people are saying.

I'll stand by you whether I'm the father or not.

If not, you were as prash.

I'll be round later.

Do your shirt.

Aye.

Actually, what are people saying?

Hey, don't forget the DNA test.

You want to get on that Jeremy Kyle.

They do the old cocking lock for you.

And they put you up in a hotel.

By Michelle, he done it twice.

Come on, get a cocking move on, man.

The bloody way.

Thank you both for coming back, Miss Collins.

If you'd like to take a seat in our waiting area, I'll take you through in a

moment. And please help yourself to a complimentary mint and a scented tip for

you.

I'm going to spare Lilo of you, or a blow -up bed, if you think so.

Dad's got a blow -up doll somewhere.

Luke's not going to sleep on a blow -up doll, is he?

Luke! What are you on about?

He's been deported.

Oh, Stan! Eddie Rock Morgan's fault.

Building up his hopes like that.

I'll come round tonight, bring a few cans, we'll get completely monstered, is

it?

Paula?

Pregnant? Oh, yeah.

Sorry.

Finally hit rock bottom, have you, bud?

Oh, no, I'm just having a tabletop. That's all.

That's just the start, you watch me.

Next thing, you'll be selling your own leg, boy.

I'll give you 50p for this.

Tell you what, call it 40, you're going to have a deal.

Deal.

All right.

Here we go.

Now, for many people, this can be a very difficult experience.

But we also find it can be a very comforting one.

There are few greater gifts.

than the chance to see your loved one at peace before the final journey to the

other side.

Do excuse me a moment.

Don't!

You made her look like bloody Joan Rivers.

I'll admit I might have got a little carried away, but it's only because I'm

perfectionist, love.

What have you got to say for yourself?

Oh, thank you very much.

Look, I'll hold up my hands and say some of the blame does lie with Daddy.

But I could have done things better, too.

I just... I really want to be good at this, Paul.

I'll go down there and tell him to come back later. I'll do it. Are you all

right, love? I said I'll do it!

Oh, I got it.

Nice. Hang your bananas on that.

Stop them bruising.

Hey, mate, can my nana use your bog leg?

All right.

Up a step, straight through, on the left. Cheers.

Well,

I heard from Bupa Boyce that she was doing this, but I thought she was just

being mental.

Auntie Brenda.

Look at you.

Prostituting yourself on the street like some commoner garden whore.

What is everybody's problem with a tabletop?

Just a car boot, but without the car boot.

Where's your pride, man?

If you're on your upbers, then ask for help.

I'm not deaf. Right, give me your mug.

Huh? I'm going to read you tea, Lee.

Coffee. Makes no odds. Pass it.

Shocking. What do you fear?

If you think things are bad now, they're going to get a whole lot worse, honey

child.

Oh, great.

Somebody is going to take you for a big ride.

Look, I'm not doing the taxis. No matter how bad it gets, I am not doing the

taxis. Cheers, mate.

Pleasure.

Is this a bad time?

Bobby! Oh, my God!

Come here, you!

Oh,

easy, mind.

Handle with care.

I'll go for a sit. Oh, something's never changed.

Is Steve with you?

Here you go.

Truffle espresso and a Red Bull.

Best hangover cure there is.

I'm not hungover.

Baby's teething.

He was up all night.

Neck and both, coffee first.

Told you to neck him.

And you've got some stuff on your mouth. What?

Anyway, on to more important matters. Are you going to the ball, Cinderella?

What ball?

There's four bars and a bungee tower in the car park.

I don't know. Why not?

Oh, boring.

All right, I'll think about it.

That's more like it.

Have you thought about it yet?

How about now?

Bloody hell, all right.

I'll ask him when I get home.

Good. Now, neck.

He'd come back from his travels with loads of little gifts.

Tommy'll think a toilet.

Or half a bottle of Mirage, or Taboo.

Or one of those little inflatable neck cushions.

Bit by bit, the present stopped.

And then one Sunday, Ekenbach empty -handed with a suntan from a short haul

to Prague.

And I thought, hello, something's up here.

You know the oak veneered casket they used to do, the one with the plain size?

The Bridport?

It was exactly the same colour as the Bridport.

Nice. I said to him, Stephen, how come you've got a suntan going to Prague in

winter? And it turns out he'd been to the Canaries.

He was in up his complimentary air miles.

Dipping his wick elsewhere, was he?

It's lovely to see you, Bob. I missed you.

Look, I don't want to mess you around.

Because I gave him my notice good and proper.

Where can you start?

All right?

Hiya.

I've just got him all... He's been proper mental today, yeah?

Like a little fizzy twizzler.

Do you want some more of this, Bob?

No, you're all right.

I had four Douglas vessels.

So, what did you get up to today, then?

Studying. A couple of lectures.

What were the lectures about?

Seriously.

Babes. I'd done nothing all day but clear a pool and baby food.

The first lecture was about head trauma and the second was about haemoglobin

count and resistance.

I think that's good.

Hey, do you fancy going to the medical ball next week?

I'm not. I look like a shite.

No, you don't. Oh, bless.

Maybe next time, when I'm not smelling a baby's head.

You go.

Without you? Yeah.

I wouldn't know anyone anyway.

And you and your mates would spend all night talking about he -me goblins.

Sorry, babe.

Don't worry.

I'll speak to him.

Fred, go on, son. Push through the pain barrier. Go on. One more rep, right?

Come on, let's go.

Let's go.

Right, come on. Top of the mountain now. Come on.

Come on, Christmas number one. Military wine.

Yes.

Excellent. You have just lifted the equivalent of eight bags of sugar.

Great start.

Girls will be like jelly when they see you in that.

They do love palm trees.

Exotic, see?

Like pineapple milk.

I do love the exotic, me.

Now all you need to round it off is a bit of colour.

Why not try our tropical spray golden tan?

It's water -resistant and tests on rabbits, so it's perfectly safe for

asthmatics. Mum says fake tans make you look like Paris Hilton.

Thank you.

This one's on the house.

No, thank you.

I've got to go.

Hiya.

Hiya.

No, no, your ideas make perfect sense to me.

You're talking my language.

And I do appreciate you taking the call. Must be the middle of the night for you

now or something, is it?

No, it's early morning. We're eight hours behind.

Oh, of course it is.

Silly me.

Well, I'm looking forward to meeting you, Rob. Call me when you arrive and

organise dinner.

Yeah, right. OK.

I'm afraid I've got to go. Another call.

A two to low.

OK, bye.

Little Alan.

What on earth have you done to your face?

Nearly there.

Daddy. Yes, ma 'am.

You know the saying, too many cocks... Spoil the brothel.

Aye.

Well, I don't think we need me, Daddy, Bobby and you all working here.

I understand.

You do?

I'm not a total idiot, love.

Oh, Ty.

I'll have a word with him later.

What? I don't blame you, love.

You were pleased to see Bobby.

You got excited and you offered him his old job back without thinking it

through. That's not actually what I meant. It's perfect.

Do you know something, Paul? I love this job.

Bloody love it.

It's made me whole again.

Now, if you don't mind.

I got me a body to emboah.

And they took the telly?

Yep. Stuck it in the back of a van.

Police said that's the downside of a tabletop.

Happening all over, apparently.

Well, at least they trapped him down.

Yes. Do you want to leave the iron in for this week?

No. No, no, no, no.

But you've got no money, Presh. Don't you worry about that.

Anyway, you've got problems your own.

What, with Luke being deported that day? Oh, how do you know?

That's Brenda.

Kids, eh?

Never ends, does it?

One day they dress as a marrow, next they do them crystal meth.

Little Alan, are you all right? You've got you.

You're a brilliant dad.

Alan!

on a course or something.

I'll improve.

It's too late.

But this is the first job I've earned in the army where I felt part of

something.

Paula, I am begging you. Oh, God, don't beg.

Sorry to interrupt, but I said just how well than his daughter they ever did

win. Right.

You'll have to excuse me a moment.

You'll thank me in the end, love.

You were out to your depth.

Yeah, go, that's right.

Go back to your pressures, Bobby.

Must be nice having the team back together, eh?

Very cozy.

Had he been here long?

Fit as a fiddle.

In fact, he still played the fiddle.

Not bad for an 89 -year -old.

He played at my gigs sometimes, didn't he, Dad?

Yes.

Gosh, you had a talented family, didn't you?

Buster Boy.

That was his favourite song.

Was it?

Buster Boy, Buster Boy.

You've got a rhythm and a look to enjoy Cos you're the butter boy, little butter

boy Butting out on your big bad day

Listen, my love, I'm going to leave you

for a minute, but you're with Daddy and Uncle Graham.

And, you know, sing whatever you like. Daddy doesn't mind.

Knock yourselves out.

Who have we lost this time? Oh, his uncle's dead brother.

Dropping like flies, they are. Oh, God, he's a lucky.

I know.

Stab and funeral's in two months.

All right, so we should give him a loyalty card.

Stop it!

It's very sad.

I mean, can you imagine?

Oh, heck.

Oh, shut up, Lisa Howells!

Come on.

Oh, my starry face.

And I see no chance of release.

I know I'm dead on the surface.

But I'm screaming underneath.

Come on, love. You can't blame me.

You couldn't do the job. You were losing us money.

Yeah, it's all about the money, isn't it? Well, when you're running a

yes it is.

Just because I don't want to work with you anymore doesn't mean I don't want to

play with you.

In fact, it'll probably spice things up a bit.

All that time apart, thinking about what we're going to do to each other at the

end of the day.

All the frustration.

Then I'll build that.

Oops.

Um,

Di, it's not working.

Sean, it's me.

I've got a load of your stuff here.

I can keep it if you like.

Or do you want to come and get it?

Where are you, anyway?

It's like you've appeared up above the air.

Ma 'am! All right?

Hiya!

Dad's done me some exercises.

Laps and pecs and stuff.

Have he?

Aye. Feel them guns, eh, Stella?

Proper little Jodie Marsh, innit?

Bindi was yesterday, mine.

Yeah, I know.

Look, Prash, I need a word with Ben.

No, you're all right. Doing a bit more training, isn't he, son?

He'll be built like a brick, shitless, by the time I'm done with him. Carl,

13 years old. Exactly.

That's a man in some culture, isn't it?

Greece and that.

Jersey.

Scotland, even.

Can I just... What time's Lukey boy getting here?

Not too late.

Do you want me to be here?

What? Give him a pep talk, like.

Because he's probably going to be depressed and that, isn't he?

What with being chucked out of Canada.

Oh. I'm sure he'll be fine. You never think it, but Nadine do get depressed at

times.

Probably because she's a deep thinker.

I do say to a deanman, it never do pay to think too deep.

Right. That's what I could say to Luke, if you want it like.

No, you're all right, but I do need to speak to Ben.

Ah, about you and Sean splitting up, is it? What?

Don't tell me. Auntie Brenda.

Actually, it was Yonto.

The word from Auntie Brenda.

Oh, babes, I'm sorry.

You're going to find out sooner or later.

Are you OK, mate?

I really don't get this relationship stuff.

These things happen, son.

Working out is the key.

Helps get rid of the black dog.

We haven't got a black dog.

Right, let's get you ripped.

That hasn't happened to me since 1989.

Can you pass the mustard?

You've been funny.

No, love.

Hey, I've got the sofa back there, love.

How do you feel?

You know, I may not always be able to afford crispy pancakes on a Tuesday.

In fact, um...

Things may be a little tight, won't you, for a while?

We'll have to tighten our belts for a bit.

Dad?

Yes?

Will I always be this colour?

I'm going to have to sleep on the lilo, I'm afraid.

I thought things couldn't get any worse.

I'm sorry.

We got rid of the bunk beds, ready for the cot.

It's all right.

It's still got a hole in it. Yep.

So, when are you going to the can?

Tomorrow.

Paul is taking me.

Excited? Yeah.

You don't look it.

I'm just tired, that's all.

Listen, ma 'am.

It's a bit awkward, but... I know about you and Rob.

He told me.

You're right, it is a bit awkward.

Oh, well, go on, then, say it.

I'm a complete bitch, and how could I possibly do what I did? Aye, this is me,

remember? I don't do lectures.

Does Sean know?

Why do you think I'm going to scan with Paula?

Oh, God.

I am bursting for a wee.

What were you drinking for, then?

They said you needed a full bladder for the scan.

I just told you that.

Did you?

You're not being much help.

Sorry, Stella.

What do you want me to do?

Do something nice.

You've got great pets.

I meant moral support.

Tell me everything will be fine, no matter whose baby it is.

Have you heard from Sean yet?

Nope.

Oh, what?

What are you thinking?

Doesn't matter. I can't get it up. Oh, forget I asked. That's never happened

before. Well, once, maybe, but that was when the wall came down. Berlin, not the

back garden.

It was a pretty sight. It looked like a party balloon with all the air leaked

out. Can we talk about something else, please?

Me and Di done it in a wheelchair once.

Surprisingly roomy.

Although the brakes didn't work and he cracked his head on the fireplace.

He actually... He did need a nurse after that.

Oh,

hello. Right.

Hiya.

Stella Warren?

Yeah. You want to follow me along?

You can all come if you want.

You're the dad.

Yeah. Who are you?

Marlton.

Are you going to find out when it is?

I don't know.

Do you think I should?

It's not really up to me, is it?

What do you think?

Whatever you want.

What was the date of your last period?

I don't know exactly, but three months, give or take.

Are you sure about that?

Oh, my God, I've not mourned three months, am I? Is everything all right?

And did the doctor do a test as well as you? Well, I didn't actually do a test.

You were.

Well, I didn't need to.

My thingy didn't come, and I was putting on weight, all the usual stuff.

What?

I have had three kids, you know.

Mrs. Morris, I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but you're not actually

pregnant.

So we're staying in Ponterbury, then? Is that what you want?

You've just got to accept the fact that you won't have basically become a

cactus.

I just really need to be held.

Hands off, all right?

Oh, my expertise goes far beyond fashion.

I know you're angry about the baby. Oh, my God, she hasn't told you, has she?