Original subtitles

The following programme contains strong language.

As soon as I'm 18, we can marry anyway.

Great. So wait till you're 18, then.

I can't wait for you to come home.

I'm counting the hours.

What have you got me, ma 'am?

Oh, Em.

A proper loving, ma 'am. I know you proper do.

Oh, my God, I don't know your name.

Hey, Sean.

Hiya, I'm Stella.

Aw, this one's Ben.

You do look like you've got a book in your hand already.

Oh, yeah.

That one's you.

That's the 12 -week one, I think.

Oh, hang on a minute.

Compare them with mine, then.

They look alike, mine, don't they?

Really? Yeah, definitely.

What about Luke? You got any of them?

Not a scan, no.

But somewhere... Ah, here it is.

Aw. Aw.

Who's your new bird?

An hour old, eh?

Looks quite cross -minded, me, even then.

Shut up.

Joking, I am. He's cute.

Em, I've done your tomatoes.

Oh, a nice one, Benny boy.

You want the sugar on top, do you? No, on the side. No, that's lovely.

Lactic bands I liked.

Just chewing them.

Ten at a time.

It says here that Stella means star in Latin.

I know it do.

Got any jam, Stella?

I thought you was doing a family tree thing, not a science project.

I am, but the more details you give, the more marks you get.

You seriously need to get a life.

There you go.

What's Emma mean, anyway?

Very wide.

Sure, I've no doubt.

Tell her, ma 'am.

Means unique.

Aw, thanks, babe.

Right. I am thinking of getting bunk beds for when Luke gets home.

Oh, can I have a top bunk, Mum? Can I? Can I? I don't know.

I've got to buy him first.

How much do you reckon I got in here?

Where did you sleep before then, Luke?

He had a bed set, didn't he, down Lambie Way?

Can't go back there, of course.

Can't put the lilo, I told her. We daft men.

He could go in halfway out.

That's what most prisoners do.

Then they get a tag.

Would he have a tag, Mum? On a probation officer? No.

Sonny, look, this kind of thing.

Let's see.

My wedding sari. I fancy something like this.

Oh, that's nice.

When are we going shopping, then?

Oh, don't worry.

Tanisha's sorting it.

She likes doing stuff like that.

But I want to come.

Well, it'll probably be a week's day.

We'll probably have to go Cardiff.

So?

Don't you want me there?

Do, obviously.

But if you're busy, it's fine, that's all.

Come on, see you.

Emma?

Can I have a lift to school?

When you get in the carpet, it's on the list.

It's always going to be a list.

Yep.

Ta -da!

What do you think?

Yeah, nice.

I'm not lying, Paul. If you'd seen him first thing, he looked like Gandalf.

He said I should have got proud of you.

Oh, my God! Yes, you did!

Oh, psst, volume down.

He said I could make a career of it.

You've got a career by ear, good boy.

I know. I'm running off my feet.

Hey, it's not my fault there's a recession on.

People aren't dying like they used to.

All right?

Now, 14 down, seven letters, B something R, something something something D.

Brother!

I thank you.

Crushing your gyro, is it?

No, no. Little Alan's college transfer.

I had to do five pounds every fortnight without fail.

Oh. How long have you been doing that, then? Three weeks now.

Building a little nest egg, I have. Carl?

All right, Chuck?

How's my fellow grandad holding up?

Go, Grease Lightning.

You're coasting through the heat lab trials.

Grease Lightning. Go, Grease Lightning.

I've booked the stag, my friends.

It's done.

A Grease the musical theme weekend in Western Superman.

I'm thinking of going as Kaniki.

Everybody will want to be Danny, but...

I'm going for the curveball route.

Stunning. And that's what Sunhill wanted, eh?

Sorry.

Sorry.

Hiya, Scal. All right, Al? All right still?

I couldn't push in a minute, could I, Dave? I want a bit of a schedule.

Well, there's others waiting, eh? Morning, love. Wow, that's a big one.

Yeah, people aren't dying like they used to, apparently.

What's going on?

Al?

Dick the Kick.

He's dead.

No!

Who's Dick the Kick?

I need a drink.

He's a legend, Bob. He's our legend.

What's all the kick been there?

He claimed to fame.

Dick.

He scored the winning kick against... The old black's in 53.

From a 90 -degree angle. 90.

Some people call it a mathematic impossibility.

Oh, God.

The whole town will be devastated.

I know.

They'll bring him up the club now.

He was returning.

Oh.

Dick's coming home?

Yeah.

That's him, yeah.

Ty Davis there.

The chairman of the rugby club.

He just rang me.

What's the thing you've got to do at the funeral like?

I am over.

Bob, you've got quite a bit of work to do.

Come in.

Yeah?

Come on, darling.

I'm alive!

Mr. Davis?

Ray. Is he having a stroke?

Sorry.

It's all the emotion it is.

Come on, we've just finished laying him.

You were saying about Dick's neighbour?

Mrs Richard, yeah.

Poor woman found him dead on the car, the effie.

Like Elvis he was.

In a jumpsuit.

Did Mrs Richard spring the body herself?

No.

She's 96 months.

I sent a couple of the rugby lads down Crick for him.

One's a butcher, see?

So he was refrigerated, like... They didn't use the oak, obviously.

Out of respect.

See this? This is the very same ball that Dick the Kick kicked.

You've got to be laid to rest with him, don't you think?

Oh,

I haven't stopped, Daddy.

I've had Max Boyce, Barry, John and Michael Ball on the blow this morning,

asking when the funeral is.

Everyone's saying it.

You'll need a proper big send -off like in the olden days.

We've got to make it huge.

And like him.

So, Paula, what do you reckon?

Can you do it?

Can you give Dick a funeral he'll never forget?

What do we want?

We want impact, we want style, we want class.

One of these mushy peas, though. No, thanks, I'm trying not to.

So what are you saying, Ed?

We're going to make a big splash.

Exactly.

We want death like you've never seen it done before. A funeral so huge the whole

town will be wanting one.

Speculate to accelerate, like. Therefore.

And get the old Simpsons funeral carriage out.

Daddy and Di can lead the procession in full cheap mourners, whatchamacallit. Di

Davis or Di Cosh?

Di Cosh, of course. I would die.

I think we should have a band and all.

Brass.

And replica rugby jerseys from 1953 for the coffin bearers to wear. Oh, with the

number 10s on the back, I lie in them on.

My cousin Gemma done that in Faleraki.

With jerseys?

Thongs. Oh.

OK, I am seeing a huge open casket.

So he can lie in state with the mourners traipsing past.

That's the ticket.

What about the wake? What do we do for food?

Finger buffet at the club.

Oh! Oh,

sorry. Yahoo!

I tell you what, this funeral is going to be major.

I've just seen Hugh Edwards interviewing someone down London.

Bought a new dress for it, I have.

And I'm booked in for a Jamaican tropical at the dentist.

He's a dentist?

Yeah, they've got to diversify these days, Paul.

And that dental nurse is a genius with a tongue gun, apparently.

Hmm.

Richard!

Oh, right, Prash. How you caught, Ben?

I'm bearing up, Bill.

You haven't seen little Alan, have you?

He's gone rogue on me again.

Always does it when we come here.

I should keep him on a leash.

There he is.

There you are.

They want me to say a few words at Dick's funeral, like, die vast me.

Die, Cot, or die devious.

Die devious.

Don't suppose you'd have a gander when I got you?

I don't know if there's an I or a Y at the end of Mugabe.

Run! Run!

Cots in a bucket!

Oh, he's all right. He's well insulated.

Oh, little Al.

All right.

Hiya. Long time no see.

Right. Well, can't stop.

You don't do big shops, see.

Sends him demented.

Come on. Come on.

See you again then, all right? Ta -ra. Hey, mate.

Hey, how was Emma's party?

You glad you went in the end?

Yeah. Yeah, it was great.

Thanks for making me see sad.

Of course, now I've got a fork out for a bloody wedding.

Bone -fed.

Yep. You both in there yourself?

Yeah, why?

Nothing.

Just can't imagine it, that's all.

Sean, I'm not just a pretty face, you know. I am also a qualified carpenter.

Right. And if you help me load this load onto the trike, I will buy you a warm

tea and a polystyrene cap. She's living the dream. Oh, yeah. Well, it's a big,

big city and the lights are on. Emma, come on. Love is half won. You're going

be late.

I'm changing my...

So what's the latest? When are the weddings, sorry?

When are we going shopping, like?

So now?

What it is, there's a shop my mum wants to go to. But it's got a waiting list,

so... So it could be weeks, Emma.

We haven't got weeks.

We've got the hen do, then her last exam, then the wedding and the baby.

all planned out.

Better. Cups for rubbing.

Right, strong.

I'm up to dig her arms in here.

Hey, Bobby.

While I'm here, I don't suppose you'd have a quick gander at my speech, could

you? For the service, like... I can't remember if it's Pol Pot or Pole Pot.

Ain't he the one who done this in Dormer for Cowell?

Chessie, Maur.

Never mind it with the ugly stick. This lot have been bludgeoned with it.

We can't have him front and centre at the funeral, can we? That's what the

British media's going to think.

This is Wales's reputation on the line here, Daddy.

And I've got to do something about it.

Oh, the top, that is.

The top of the pond.

We've got a bit of a problem with their mourners.

No now, Bobs.

Use your initiative, yeah?

So, uh, how long you got this clobber for, then?

24 hours.

Starting about 40 minutes ago.

Oh, this is amazing.

Where in God's name did you find it?

Married that chap from Bosnia, and he didn't have no relatives, so he shipped

them in.

Got them from Vaughan, didn't she, ma 'am?

Yeah, Vaughan have got all sorts of them.

And what is it, like an extra agent for you there? Yeah, based in Newport.

It's going to cost, mind.

I'll stick it on the bill.

Right, come on then.

Let the dog see the rabbit.

Never mind, don't you?

Lift by you.

Don't spread the paint, Megan.

Oh, money hasn't started yet.

Oh, hello there, Ron.

I'm looking to book around 40 of you best clients, please.

If I write, we should have built them upstairs.

Bob, fuck him this morning. I think it's a jersey.

OK, fine.

Um, yeah.

Ooh, now, will Scott be able to do anything about this moustache?

Oh, excellent.

God, it's like another prison cell in here.

What's becoming all improved at?

No bars on the windows and a lot of love.

Stop worrying. You'll give yourself an ulcer.

Or a gland.

We'll see ourselves.

See you later.

Bye.

Del! Visitor!

Go on up, kid.

I like the colour.

Suits you.

What are you doing here?

Oh, that's nice.

Came to help with the bunk beds.

Really?

Why?

Wanted to impress you. Keep up.

Stella!

Stella, it's the jerseys.

They haven't sent no number ones and Dick was number ten.

You said everybody had to wear a replica. They've only got noughts to

Maybe it's, like, symbolic, like... Like he were a ten and now he's a naught.

You're not helping, sweetheart.

In fact, you're freaking me out.

Here's Bobby, your fella.

OK.

Hang on.

Give it here a minute.

How about...

Angels and roses.

What's he like, Stella?

Brains and biceps.

He can come to the funeral. He could be a bearer. You could be a bearer. Can he

be a bearer, Stella? Can he, can he, can he? All right, menpops, calm down.

You're getting hysterical.

Sean, look, it's up to you, like.

Do you want a bear dick?

They've pulled out all the stops, I'm telling you. Princess Di's one had

on this.

And, of course, Bobby's on the verge of a breakdown.

It was a shown fellow was helping you.

He's just a decorated fellow.

Bobby thinks he's a beast, needs.

Oh!

What? What are you grinning at?

You.

My boy's coming home in a month and that will make me smile.

You're mad you are.

It is a month, isn't it?

I've got time, haven't I?

For what?

Oh, nothing.

Hey, I don't want you outside with a banner and balloons and all that. No

Yanto's a man, Donat, and he got his head kicked in. All right, keep your

on.

Oh, I just made you something, I have.

It's not finished yet.

That's all right, then.

Whatever's the price for you and all.

Really?

Like what?

Well, you haven't got no one pregnant of you.

What?

Oh, my God, you're not bringing any of this, are you?

Yeah. Mum, actually, bonfire Dave. Just don't give him nothing flammable to play

with.

I do worry, obviously, about you coming home.

I know.

Because you know what people are like.

They can be battered bastards, Presh.

They never forgive and they always remember. And they always remember,

Adele, I've got you on my side, haven't I?

Yeah.

Me and Bumper are dead.

How many uncles did you have, Gumpa?

Two.

What was it, three?

Four. You forgot Glyn.

Very sad.

Auto -erotic asphyxiation.

Where they hang themselves with an orange.

Lovely man, wasn't he, Ken?

Salt to the earth.

Leave it.

So, you had four uncles.

I got two on Dad's side.

I'm on his Luca.

On Rob Morgan's side, you mean?

Who's Rob Morgan?

Luke's dad.

We don't count him.

But I have to. He's a family tree.

Just put father unknown.

Don't be so bloody minded, Megan. He was only a boy, man.

He was man enough to do you -know -what.

And I'll thank you not to mention his name again in this house or your

Why is Nana so dramatic, Gumpa?

I've no idea, Kate, but as a general rule, you'll find life's a bit easier if

you do what she says.

Hiya. Hello, love.

Sorry I'm late.

Takes longer on the bus.

Mum, Gumpa's uncle killed himself with an orange.

The worst day of my life.

Me too, girl.

Nadine, didn't recognise you fresh.

What do you reckon?

Well... I know, so natural, innit? You think I was born like this?

All right.

They were doing two for the price of one.

Carl said that they looked like Kelly Brick.

Did they beat me on a gown?

Daddy, that's quite racist, what you just said.

What, are you matching up school with the new boys?

Aye, but it's educational, innit?

Death?

I suppose so.

We get in the show on the road, then, do we? Because I'm maddening up the clan.

I want to make sure we get a good seat.

Come in, do we?

Come on, boys.

I'm not right.

Oh, come on.

Riding crop and everything. It would have been criminal not to use it.

Too much information.

Yeah, of course. No need to worry about bobs.

I only had to sort the headsets, the tribute song and the flowers.

And if it weren't for Stell, we wouldn't have no jerseys neither.

Yeah, well, we got there in the end, didn't we?

Correction. We got there in the end. Me and her.

Well, you can seal the coffin.

And good luck, because that ball ain't going nowhere.

But how am I supposed to... It was your initiative.

Amen. Sorry, Bette.

Oh, we heard church people say they are in the holy way.

There are strange things happening every day.

Bobby Joe to Paula. Pai, is the eagle ready to fly?

You want him out?

It's cold, isn't it? Can we get going?

Yes. You soft sods. Right then.

I'll be at the back.

And the music? Are we good to go?

For God's sake, will you just get on with it?

Bobby Joe to Stella Bella. The keys are clear to Tinkle.

Oprah, Steve, Saul, Matt. Telling it.

How excited are you?

About the funeral?

Emma's wedding sari.

Of course, you'll have to tie it so it covers up the bump.

She's really starting to show, no?

Still, so excited.

Shame about the wait, isn't this fine?

There'll be no waiting listed.

The holly silks, I can assure you.

It's very, um, bargain -basement, if you catch my drift. But that's the shop

that Emma wanted, so that's where we'll get it. That Emma wanted? And please

don't take this the wrong way, Stella, but Tanisha and I, we would like to go

halves.

Don't, I don't want to hear another word.

I'm sadly going to break the bank.

After all, this may be my, our only chance to buy a wedding, sorry.

Well, what about Jasmine, dear?

We're not sure she's the marrying kind.

Much more likely to have a string of purely physical encounters, if you know

what I mean.

Mum!

Hi, Steph. Hiya. Hey, you two. I've got a boon to pick with you.

Oh, now.

I've just been chatting with Jack and Tana about the wedding, sorry.

They say they want to go home.

Right. You know they do.

And that's why you picked a cheapo sari shop, so your old mother wouldn't look

skint in front of the in -laws.

Oh, look, don't have a go now. She's only thinking of you, still.

Bugger. Don't worry about the money.

I've thought something.

My auntie Paula's going to give me a few quid for helping out today, anyway.

Aw, it's my mum. Cheers, still.

Now, all my babies under one roof again soon.

When's he getting out, then?

Two... No, four weeks tomorrow.

Aw, son's never met him, have you, babe? No.

He got sent down exactly a month before we met.

Aw.

Sad old day, isn't it, Al?

You've lost a true hero.

Aye.

Aye. Aye.

Listen, Ken, I know you've had to make a fair few speeches in your time. True.

Has he?

So I was wondering if I could call upon your expertise in the field.

Do you want him to make a speech?

No, no, no. I want him to read my... I thought I had asked him to say a few

words about Dick.

Die dearest or die costh?

Dearest.

Aye, go on then, kid.

When they're going to let us in, man, Carl, honestly, it's disgusting keeping

out here like a bunch of dogs.

We're all grieving, for God's sake.

Hush a minute, you.

Anyway, Rob Morgan was.

Come up from Georgetown and he did. What are you on about?

Luke's dad.

Boy, he's doing a family thing in here. Family thing?

Is the phone wrong?

So, how many brothers and sisters did he have then, Bob Morgan?

I don't remember.

I know he had a sister I might have known like.

The family had a bit of money, I suppose.

His father ran Morgan Kemp back at the Rasshousie. Oh, I remember that. Pill

-popping factory.

Pill -packing factory.

So, when Rob got your mum up the duff, his parents were gutted like. So they

sold the lot and moved to Canada.

Became a builder or something.

Yeah, asphalt reconstruction.

I looked it up.

Proper little detective, isn't he?

Anyway, stunning for me that he left, obviously.

Because I've got your mum, and him, and you.

And me? And then you've got me?

Aye, aye.

Best not to mention Rob Destella, though.

Bit of a sore point, mate.

Winning soul with a winning kick.

His rugby -playing powers meant that victory was ours. So we lay down all

our flowers for the kick.

We miss you, Dick.

Friends, I'm sure that seeing such a good turnout today would have made

Dick a very proud Dick, a very happy Dick, a Dick Ticklepink.

if he was alive today, which, of course, he isn't, because this is

his funeral.

Augie, Augie, Augie.

Thank you, Neil.

And now, last but not least, Alan Williams, youth rugby coach and

of Dick, would like to say a few words in memory

of the legend himself.

Go for it, boy.

Like many men before him, Dick Jenkins was a revolutionary.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong.

But what exactly did Dick Jenkins have in common with Colonel Goddard?

I know.

I'm a fool.

I'll let you all down.

Well, I, for one, thought they were stunning.

Really? Why?

A woman from the West, a male, said I should be ashamed of myself.

Said I brought Dick's reputation to disrepute.

She's full of it, that one.

You compared him to a knockout woman.

He invented the NHS.

Sorry? Hey, Mr Manners.

What have I said? I've been talking with you mouthful.

Can't understand a word you're saying.

Are we dancing or what?

Come on then.

And by the way, that's illegal.

So sue me.

Oh, my God.

I have died and gone to wedding.

No, didn't they kick us?

Seen them hunky -bearers?

Definitely off to more funerals if this is what they like.

There's more people arriving every minute. It's fantastic.

Yeah, I know. What a send -off. Well, I'm just glad we could do Dick's memory

justice. You've done that all right.

People have been talking about this for years.

Right, time for seconds, I think. No, help yourself.

Just... Let me have the address, the bill, dice.

Oops.

Before I get too many of these down me.

Bill?

Well, in voice, she means. Well, in real life. Yeah, whatever you say.

His kids, is it? But I haven't met them yet.

Dick didn't have no kids.

Well, whoever's in charge of his estate, then?

All Dick's estate was in them plastic bags out the back.

Well, plus where he kept his car.

Paul, you did know Dick didn't have no money.

He was potless.

Why do you think I sent the lads down creek for him?

He weren't cold and the council was clear in his flat.

But he was legend.

He must have had something.

Reputation. That's what he had.

He kicked that kick in 53 and quit the game a year later.

Never had to work for nothing after that. Wherever he went, the people of

showered him with stuff.

Food, beer, whatever he wanted.

We owed him a debt of gratitude, see? And we paid in full.

And what about my bill?

You wouldn't have paid in full for that.

But the club just assumed.

She would.

Oh, God.

Oswebs.

All people are dancing now and I'm scared.

Can I bring her along?

Only if you don't look at me or ask me what umbilical means.

Em, have you seen Bobby anywhere?

Oh, driving with Daddy.

Bobby! Hey, tell me you're mad you're going to go pro. What do you think?

I think we've got a problem.

I was already overdrawn before I started this bloody job.

Come on, Nola.

We'll sort it.

How? We ain't got no money to sort it.

Oh, my God, she'd lost the plop.

What have I done?

Oh, babes, it's not your fault.

Why the hell didn't Di say something?

Di Davis or Di Koch?

He thought I knew, didn't he?

Extras? Already on time and a half, as it is.

What extras?

Well, where do you think all them foxy bearers came from? Not from Ponte Verde,

I can tell you. Oh, I'm going to kill it! No, no, no. It wasn't him.

It was my idea.

Oh, what?

Same as the jerseys and the carriage and Neil bloody Kinnock.

It's Lord Kinnock, actually.

Oh, God.

I'm such a complete dip.

Don't Dick have nothing at all?

Not a sausage.

What about his ball?

The one he kicked the kick thing, whatever.

People would pin arm and leg for that.

We buried it with him.

You know, we could dig it up.

Them grave diggers are lazy buggers. I bet they haven't even sunk him yet. I

stabbed it.

I stabbed the ball before he put it in the coffin. It was the only way I could

get it in.

No one has to know he did that.

Paul, isn't it?

No, please don't.

Anyway. Come on!

£5 a strip. Not going to break the bank.

What's the price?

Out of this world.

Not ten or even there.

Even better.

The ball.

The dick, the cake. Cake, cake.

Shut up.

Better take you to all the Canarian Islands.

You can't raffle off something so precious.

That should be in a museum.

It could be in Alan's museum.

Put me down for 20 quid's worth.

Come on.

Where exactly is it going, this blue pack?

On Dick's house, the place where he was born.

He'd have a job if they'd pulled it down 30 years ago.

There's a playground there now.

That's why the plaque's going on the... Climbing frame?

Yeah, in the exact same spot as his front door.

Roll up, roll up.

This is your one and only chance to do a deck.

Five out of cake. If you can score a cake like Dick did, you'll win the lot.

Colin Jackson, you've got to be up for it.

I don't know.

Dick was called Dick the Kick for a reason.

A kick was nigh on impossible.

Aye, you'd have to be thick even to attempt it.

Right, me first. Come on, then.

There you go, that's it. Fiver, thank you.

Fiver, lovely. Oh, cheers, lad. Thank you very much.

Come on, get your fivers on.

Get in there.

Right, what about it?

Dear Rob Morgan, my name is Ben.

You do not know me, but you might remember my brother Luke.

He is the son you have never seen.

Isn't your mum going to go mental when she finds out you wrote to him?

She's not going to know, though, is she?

Please will you tell me more about your side of the family, because Luke's bit

on my family tree is empty.

Luke is doing really well, and we're all looking forward to him coming out of

prison next month.

All the best, Ben Carlin -Morris.

There we are. We're so dead.

When am I going to get my outfit, then?

Who cares?

No one's going to be looking at you, babe.

Here we are, Paul.

It's not all of it, but let's just say you won't be overdrawn much more than

already was.

What would I do without you?

One or me.

And you are bloody brilliant, too.

I need a fit.

Did I tell you you were fit?

You might have mentioned me.

Oh, I'm not thinking about you no more.

I'm thinking about my date.

What date?

What? One of the actresses.

He's taking me to Wookie Hall.

You lot, over by here.

We're on the tee.

So earlier today, legendary Welsh rugby star Dick the Kick Jenkins was given a

hero's send -off.

as the crowds took to the streets in his hometown of Pontyferry. Hey, look,

there's Di and Daddy.

Dick, who scored his legendary kick in 1953, rode to his final resting place in

a horse -drawn carriage and even had fellow Welshman Lord Neil Kinnock pay

tribute to him in the chapel.

You've been living here, then.

So I can't say I've noticed you till recently.

And I thought everyone in Pontybury knew everyone in Pontybury.

I got some work about a year ago. A big painting contract over in Blackhill. Oh,

bloody English coming here, taking our jobs.

I just like the place, I suppose.

You never went home?

I never went home.

See, and I've been funny.

I've lived here all my life. Wouldn't live nowhere else, to be honest with

But I can't imagine actually choosing to live here. It's all right.

I've got a good Chinese.

True. Bit different to Liverpool now, isn't it?

I'm not from Liverpool.

I thought they called you Scouser Sean.

They do. I don't know why, cos I'm from Barnsley.

Well, this is me.

Thanks again for today, Sean from Barnsley.

You're a star.

What, don't I get a coffee?

Sorry? That's what you normally get when you walk someone home, isn't it?

Hang on, you was walking me home.

I thought you was just walking me home.

What? How old are you? 32.

You're ten years younger than me, man. You can't walk me home. Why not?

I don't know.

Because... Look, Fresh, of course we can have a coffee.

But not a coffee, all right? Just a coffee.

Oh, well, I didn't pray like that, huh?

Mum! Quick!

Oh, my God, what's happened?

We've got a surprise for you.

What?

All right, Mum?

It's OK, he hasn't escaped.

They let him out early.

Oh, my God, my baby boy.

Come here.

All right?

That's Sean. He's got a Harley.

Look, I'll leave you to it.

Nice to meet you, Luke.

Yeah, I still love you still, bud.

Good surprise, then, or what?

No, it's not a good surprise, actually.

It's a fan -bloody -tastic one.

All you've got to do is drop off, get the cash, and keep 20 back for yourself.

Easy. Until I get caught.

But maybe I don't want to marry someone who just stays at home all day and

doesn't do nothing.

I've got a little surprise for you.

VIP tickets.

My friend's already got us some.

A friend?

You don't want to do that, mate. Yeah, what do I want to do then, mate? Hey,

come on, tell me!