Original subtitles

Everything in America is super cool right now.

We are very lucky to live in a country where we enjoy a great relationship with

law enforcement agencies.

President Trump is doing everything he can to keep us safe. And, oh, it looks

like the incredibly handsome mayor of Minneapolis has something to say.

To ICE, get the f*** out of Minneapolis.

Okay, look, to be fair, ice is what people in Minneapolis say most winters

anyway. Okay?

But this time, he's actually referring to the immigration cops.

I assume at this point you've all seen the horrible video or you've been

really hard not to see it. So don't worry, I'm not going to show it to you.

basically, ICE agents surrounded this woman's car and ended up shooting her

she tried to drive away from them.

That certainly would have made me way too scared to confront these guys. But

people in Minnesota are built different.

Demonstrators taking to the streets after the shooting. Some confronting ICE

agents throwing snowballs.

That's right, throwing snowballs.

First... We fight the oppressive police state. And then, hot cocoa.

Now look, people have been watching the video over and over, breaking it down

frame by frame until they end up with resting Kash Patel face.

And it's already become just one more political roadshot test in America.

Some people see a peaceful protester getting murdered, and other people are

fascists. But regardless of where you stand on that, nobody was seeing what

Kristi Noem saw.

What happened was our ICE officers were out in an enforcement action.

They got stuck in the snow because of the adverse weather that is in

Minneapolis. They were attempting to push out their vehicle, and a woman

attacked them.

Okay, what are you talking about? Because maybe you didn't see the video

because your stupid hat is blocking your vision.

Thank you for weighing in, and sorry to interrupt your girls' weekend in

Nashville.

I just don't see how you could see an attack in that video.

Well, I mean, wait, is this why Kristi Noem shot her puppy? I mean, did she

think it was trying to ram into her with a car? I don't know.

Maybe that's all she sees, cars ramming into her. This was barely two hours

after the shooting, and without any investigation, Noam had already decided

the woman deserved it. But later that day, once more facts came out, she

those two and doubled down.

This domestic act of terrorism to use your vehicle to try to kill law

enforcement officers is going to stop. People are being trained and told how to

use their vehicles to impede law enforcement operations and then to run

anybody who gets in their way.

being trained.

I mean, I am outraged that you would inflame the situation with divisive and

charged accusations.

But, that is a cool costume change.

Okay?

I love how she went from cowboy to undercover cop at a high school party.

I mean, I hope the next hat is going to be one of those Rasta hats.

And she can be like, yeah.

And she can be like, hey, man, it's domestic terrorism.

Look,

this country does not need a divisive figure like Christine Noem right now. It

needs a leader with the maturity and unifying rhetoric to bring us all

Shut up. Shut up.

Shut the f*** up.

President Trump, I call on you to heal this nation.

This is what President Trump just posted. The woman driving the car was

disorderly, obstructing and resisting, who then violently, willfully and

viciously ran over the ICE officer who seems to have shot her in self -defense.

Based on the clip, hard to believe he is alive, but is now recovering in the

hospital. Yeah, I don't... Okay,

I'm starting to sense a bias in the audience here, but, you know, what do

mean it's hard to believe he's alive?

The guy walked away.

Like, was...

Kristi Noem's hat so big it was blocking your vision too, President Trump?

I mean, even if you think the video is ambiguous, it's not that ambiguous. This

is like one person saying the dress is blue and black and the other person

saying it's a dishwasher, okay?

It's not. That's a basic shape to what happened.

But here's the problem. Everyone is arguing about what happened in the

leading up to the shooting. But what we really need to be looking at is what

happened in the month leading up to the shooting. Because something like this

was almost inevitable when ICE, when you have

ICE promoting itself like this.

A massive PR push is underway to recruit new ICE agents, including ads targeted

at young Americans.

It's posted a meme referencing the video game Halo to its official X account

with the slogan, quote, destroy the flood.

OK, I'm just saying you're not going to get responsible professionals when you

tell them the job is a freaking awesome video game. OK, you're going to get

you're going to get a bunch of guys who own this chair.

And it's not just how they're promoting their mission.

It's also how, it's also the guys they're trying to recruit.

The effort will target gun rights supporters, military enthusiasts, people

have attended UFC fights, or listen to patriotic podcasts.

That's right.

Military enthusiasts, patriotic podcast listeners, and UFC fans. Basically

anyone you pray your sister would finally break up with.

And if you're watching...

I like to call balls and strikes, okay? So if you're watching this and you're

saying, hey, Ronnie, you're being unfair.

I'm a military enthusiast, patriotic podcast listener, and a UFC fan, and I'm

highly professional.

Well, hey, I guess they weren't going after you.

Some of the recruits failed drug testing, have disqualifying criminal

backgrounds, or don't meet the physical or academic requirements to serve.

Additionally, nearly half of recruits failed the written exam, even with

to notes and textbooks.

How the f*** do you fail an open book test?

The answers are here.

You just put them here.

This is what happens when you don't have immigrants to cheat off of, okay?

I guess it's hard to take a written test when you're wearing Oakleys indoors.

So now we have a massive new police force of poorly trained recruits hopped

on Rick Ross music, unleashed into American cities and suburbs.

And for the past few months, federal agents have been terrorizing people in

their own neighborhoods.

Over the past year, Americans have witnessed masked ICE agents detain

front of their children, people shot by federal agents, and more than 170 U .S.

citizens held inside detention centers.

A 79 -year -old business owner says he was body slammed and pinned to the

despite being a U .S. citizen.

Carlo Jimenez, a U .S. citizen, tried to drive around the officers when one shot

him in the back of his shoulder.

Mass agents shot pepper balls at a pastor. A woman who was handcuffed was

suddenly being dragged by one arm. Federal agents drag away a blind

We kept yelling, she's pregnant, she's pregnant.

Okay, look.

I know, I know.

I voted wrong, okay? I'm sorry. But, look, it's so evil that the only level

above this is cartoonishly evil.

A Halloween parade for children canceled after agents deployed would appear to

be tear gas.

The f***? It's a Halloween parade.

Those are just kids. They want actual Korean demon hunters, okay?

And, look...

If you're thinking they don't need to enforce the law this violently, you're

correct. They don't need to be this violent.

The violence and showing the violence is the point.

This is why just breaking down these videos frame by frame doesn't tell the

whole story of what happened here. People keep saying this ICE agent feared

his safety. Maybe so.

But we also have to acknowledge that this woman probably feared for her

too. And for good reason.

And telling someone to just...

comply with law enforcement isn't helpful when ICE has spent the past year

acting less like law enforcement and more like a lawless militia. So

unfortunately, we can keep expecting this to happen. Not because ICE is going

dangerous situations, but because they keep going into safe situations and then

making them more dangerous than they need to be.

But at the very least, If ICE is going to keep recruiting people

with no business being in law enforcement, maybe we can counter that

that unrecruits them.

Are you the type of guy who wants to be an ICE agent because it looks like

playing Halo? Then here's an even better idea.

Just stay home and play Halo.

If living out your video game fantasy makes you want to join ICE, then we'd

rather you didn't. So call 1 -800 -NO -ICE and we'll send you a PlayStation 5

and a dozen Xboxes. so you can work out all that aggression safely in your

stepdad's basement. Or maybe you like how ICE makes law enforcement look like

rap video, so we'll sign you up for YouTube premiums so you can just keep

watching rap videos in your house, away from everyone else. Joining ICE means

going outside, and outside is cold, but inside is warm and has Wi -Fi, so you

can look at all those dank ICE memes.

Whatever void in your life is making you respond to those ice ads, we'll fill

it. It's better for everyone.

We'll also throw in a Pornhub subscription.

You didn't ask for it, but we just assumed.

So stay at home, because we want you to not join ice.

Brought to you by Americans who just want to go outside without getting shot.