Original subtitles

The H69 is getting a bit of a

kick in the ass, ok?

Down there, in that strange micro-oasis next

to the beach, we have Crystal Cherry, and

she doesn't know it.

We're going to act like porn paparazzi, ok?

Our idea is to swing at her, she's

going to send us to hell for sure,

because she's in her holiday days, and we're

going to try to get to her, ok?

But we're going to try to fuck her,

but we're going to fuck her, we're going

to take her home and we're going to

fuck her, ok?

That's the idea.

I'm sure it's going to go wrong, because

Crystal is on holiday with her people, her

friends, she's probably with her hippie girl, her

crazy hippie, her fucking mother, whatever they're doing

around here, and the idea is to find

her, take her to a warm place and

fuck her.

Will it work?

Let's try it.

Let's go there, guys.

We have Martin Koya with us, Martin, are

you willing to fuck Crystal Cherry?

No problem, I love Crystal Cherry.

Are you sure?

Let's go.

You want to fuck Crystal Cherry, don't you?

You've got it, man, I can't believe it.

Really, man.

We've been told by a couple of paparazzi

colleagues that Crystal is down there, ok?

In that strange micro-axis of four palm

trees in the sea, and the idea is

to go there and beat her up, man.

Ok.

Let's see if...

Wait, I have a couple of calls.

Go get her.

Are you sure?

Let's go there.

Fuck her, man, are you sure she's there?

Is the information correct?

They just called me on the phone, and

they had seen her around here, so that

must be true.

Fuck her, with Crystal Cherry and all the

good girls she's got.

She's awesome, man.

She's an amazing girl, man.

She's always running away from me, look at

my fucking camera, but today I think we're

going to hunt her, man.

I love her, and besides, look at this

paradise, man.

Awesome, man.

What a beautiful place, huh?

Those porn actresses, man, they do it so

well, man.

That's true.

They're going to go to the countryside, to

the mountains, no, no, to the beach, huh?

Fucking great.

You don't know if we're going to hunt

her, man, ok?

Let's go.

Let's go get her.

Martin!

Where the fuck is this girl?

I don't know, we're going to look for

her.

You said she was in a bar or

something, right?

There's a lot of people, we're going to

look for her.

I love the beach, man.

Me too.

There are beautiful girls, huh?

Awesome.

Very beautiful girls, man.

I'm a tourist, man.

Very cool.

Take it, take it, take it, take it.

Very good.

What's this?

I think it's a good thing too, right?

Yes, it is.

Let's go, Martin.

Let's go for Crystal, man.

I know you and you mess with me,

man.

Oh, look how handsome the puppy is, huh?

How cool.

Little!

Oh, what a beautiful puppy.

Hi, little one.

Hello.

Bye, guys.

Bye.

You'd fuck a dog, man.

You'd fuck a dog, man.

Very crazy.

Very crazy, right?

Where the fuck is this girl, man?

Where the fuck is this girl?

We're going for a walk.

Are you sure?

Of course.

I'm looking for her here.

Martin, they told you she was somewhere, man.

We have to look for her, right?

We have to look for her.

She's around here, but we have to look

for her.

Yes, man.

It's fucked up, man.

We're going to have to look for her

around here.

Martin, do you see her or what, man?

I'm looking for her, man.

All the guys are playing volleyball there.

Fucking great.

Do you know how to play volleyball or

what?

A little.

This is a game.

I prefer it with girls.

Ask her if she lets him play or

something, man.

No, we're going to keep looking for her

here.

Yes, yes, yes.

Damn, I found her.

Where?

Wait, wait, wait.

Is it her?

Yes.

Are you sure?

She's wearing glasses, but no, no.

It's her.

It's her, right?

Yes, yes, let's go.

Let's go over there, man.

Come on, she doesn't want to see me.

What the fuck, man?

Come on, man.

Hey, let's go, Paco.

Let's go.

Hello, Cristal.

What's up?

Hello.

Cristal, how are you?

What's up?

Where have you been, Cristal?

Look, we came here to play a little.

I know you're on vacation, but we came

here to play a little.

To me?

Yes, a little.

What do you think?

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

Let's see, listen to me, Cristal.

We came to record.

We came to play with you.

Cristal, we are the paparazzi of porn, man.

What the fuck?

You won't ask anymore.

Holidays.

Holidays.

I'm closed.

You won't ask anymore.

What the fuck?

H69 has found me on a paradise beach

here in Alicante, right?

I guess you missed the GPS.

We have you located.

We've got your phone number.

We've done everything for you, girl.

No wonder I didn't have coverage there now.

Come on, let's go.

Hey, hey, hey.

Look, out of the way, Cristal.

Did we get you wrong or what?

No.

Come on, girl.

Holidays.

Fuck, look at you.

What are you drinking?

You're already drinking.

What time is it?

Five o'clock.

Five o'clock and you're already drinking.

You're not normal, are you?

No, man.

You have to take advantage of the holidays.

No, I see.

It's hot here.

No, I see.

We're going to take two hours to find

you, girl.

You're good.

You're good.

The problem is yours, right?

Holidays.

How many days have you been here?

Me?

A week.

And from what I see, you've been taking

good care of yourself, right?

Yes.

Look at you, girl.

You're hot.

Come on, come on, come on.

Hey, a drink.

A drink and a drink.

Hey, you're attractive, huh?

I love you, I love you.

Hey, Cristal, you're probably going to send us

to drink to our asses, right?

Exactly, you know that, right?

Not even asking you the question.

Not even asking me the question, you know.

Unless...

Unless what?

Come on, we're willing to do everything.

I love you for vacations, I love you

for vacations Listen Cristal, we are going to

be very good to you, but do us

a favor Just go for the mere fact

of having looked for you as we have

looked for you Come on, as you have

looked for me, as you have looked for

me and you have come this far, accept

the challenge, let's go Sure?

Yes But if I don't even ask you

a question Then talk What a bitch, I

already know what you want I don't think

she wants us to take her to the

beach or something Please Cristal, please Put on

your knees, Martin, put on your knees Put

on your knees, Martin Put on your knees,

put on your knees Cristal, are you coming

with us?

No, just a little scene Are you sure?

Yes It's your vacations We love you Hey,

we got it, the porn paparazzi, we got

it Cristal, are you coming with us?

Let's go Hey Cristal, what a boat you

have left, right?

Yes, for vacations No, I see you, I

see you How long have you been here?

A week A week How long have you

been here?

Until we came here To touch your balls

To touch your balls, right?

But you said yes, you promised us you

would come with us, right?

Yes, I promised Well, if you want we

can do something Let's go to the beach,

a little to the water We touch it,

we play a little with you, okay?

And now we're going to...

To what we have to do, right?

A little sex party, right?

With our partner Martin, right?

A little, nothing more Accompany her a little,

Martin I see you very...

Let's go, let's go Let's see what she

has...

Woo!

Well, but like any lady I think you

don't go to the water with shoes, right?

No, not really You look very nice, very

sexy But just in terms of decoration you

look very cool But to get wet...

To get wet, no, right?

You take a bath and quietly on your

knees, right?

You bathe a little and I say, great,

right?

Yes Yes Yes Hey, Crystal Could you show

us a little your tits?

Sure If you are so kind And not

much to ask on your holiday day No,

on my day I don't ask Could you

show us a little your...

Your piece of tits you have, right?

We are like this, so chubby, you know?

Let's see Oh, look at my Crystal Mother

of God How do you see her?

How do you see her?

She's going to look good on me, eh?

Very elegant Very elegant, right?

Very elegant Let's go to the water, guys

Let's go to the water Come on Paparazzi

of porn We have got...

This is not a lie, eh?

Hey, don't put too much, bastards, I can't

take it anymore How

is the cherry, man?

How did we get it, man?

Mother of God We

loved it, eh?

Fuck Your other paparazzi Here comes the paparazzi

Hey, Crystal, how was it?

I don't know how you didn't stop coming

How is the water, Crystal?

Very good Yes, right?

Well, nothing, guys Now that you have refreshed

a little Let's see how is the talk

of Crystal Cherry, right?

Let's go Let's go?

And here, the percede that you have put

here The son of a bitch The percede,

right?

The truth is that I haven't seen something

like this in a long time Fuck Hey,

paparazzi of porn, let's go to the house

to rest a bit Yes And let's see

if we fuck up Crystal a little more

But this is enjoying, apart from the water

And this is enjoying I think so Shall

we go, guys?

Let's go How is it, Crystal?

Let's go!

Incredible, Nena!

What's up?

How are you?

Here I am.

Are you scared or what?

I'm scared.

Where do you think we were going to

bring you?

After fucking you...

I don't know, I don't know.

I'm going to see...

We have to apply it.

I'm on vacation and this is a beach.

Venice is a beach, very important.

But well...

But we have cut it well, right?

Yes.

Are you sure?

Are you happy?

Yes.

Do you like it?

Do you like the jacuzzi that we have

prepared for you?

I like the jacuzzi here the most.

Yes, and the bed?

I like it too, it's very good.

And the detail that we have?

Look, look what we have up there.

You flip, right?

Where have you seen your crystal?

Where have you seen your crystal?

A...

A cape with a crystal.

A crystal cape.

A bis.

A bis.

A bis.

A bis.

A bis.

A bis.

A crystal with a crystal.

A crystal with a crystal.

It's going to be cool.

It's clear as a glass.

Let's see if Martin, after our pornographic paparazzi...

I don't want to say that you've bothered

me on the beach.

...that we've screwed up his Coca-Cola or

whatever he's drinking.

I don't know what I'd call the Coca

-Cola.

Coca-Cola.

Coca-Cola alone, right?

Yes, yes.

It's 5 in the afternoon, I think it's

Coca-Cola.

It'll arrive at night, right?

There's a little bit left.

Well, I don't know.

If you want, Martin, we'll let...

We have to compensate for it.

We have to compensate for it.

Let's leave him in the jacuzzi.

I'll show you his little body.

And let's see what he's got.

His legs...

And those beautiful little feet he's got.

It drives us all crazy.

Have you seen how big his feet are?

Have you ever noticed?

His feet are amazing.

Brutal.

Wow, impressive.

They're so small.

They're so small.

You can even suck them, Cristal.

Wow.

I knew you could do it.

I can see it.

Yes, yes, I can see it.

Well, nothing, Cristal.

He doesn't even try.

Well, nothing, Cristal.

If you want, as a good pageboy, which

I am, I'm going to stay here recording

everything you do.

And here, Martin, who is the paparazzi porn...

The one who has screwed up the vacations,

right?

The one who has screwed up the vacations

has been him.

I promise you one thing.

Me and Lech69 haven't followed you.

The one who has followed you on the

motorcycle for several days has been Mr. Martin.

You know?

Well, then he won't give me his license

anymore.

I'm not going to give it to him.

Because that's how we knew where you were.

You know we're going to look for you

on a remote beach in Belihor or Alicante.

It's normal, it's a double.

Yes, yes, yes.

Let's see if you tell him next time.

Okay, good.

Hey, is that your ass, Cristal?

Man, I have it, it's mine.

Let's see.

Can you show me a little bit?

Oh my God.

What's up, Martin?

Are you going to stay still without touching

it or what?

Perfect.

It's beautiful, man.

Let's see what you have hidden there.

Do you have something hidden there?

Oh my God.

What a clam that we have found in

the sea.

It's cherry, cherry, huh?

Oh my God.

What a bath.

Does it

taste good?

Does it taste like salt?

Does it taste like salt?

It tastes delicious.

It's delicious, isn't it?

Salty clams.

Salty clams, isn't it?

Yes, yes.

Wow.

Next beach.

Let's see, let's see.

And how is the water in the jacuzzi?

I'm going to tell you now.

Tell it here to the paparazzi's braid.

How is the water?

I'll tell you now.

Let's see how it is now.

So far...

Lean there, lean there.

Oh my God.

I'm going to sit here a little bit.

Here?

Yes, in front.

How do you like it?

How do you like to touch me?

How do you like it?

You don't know how to touch me.

Man, with help you touch someone better, right

Cristal?

With a little bit of help you touch

someone better, right?

You always want a little bit of help.

Personal.

Your personal trainer, right?

Oh, wow.

Holy shit!

Those are the eyes I see.

How is that?

My God.

She has gotten very fat.

She has gotten...

We have woken her up.

Yes, right?

Yes, we found her.

Oh my God.

She has gotten very fat.

Wow.

Cristal, man.

Those shadows are still there.

Holy shit.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

That's good.

That's good, girl.

That's good, that's good.

You have to keep looking for her.

Yes, yes, yes.

If you stop doing porn, they won't stop.

Like Cristal.

Like Cristal, he's going to be screwed.

It's going to be hard.

He has gotten very fat.

This is a wonder.

That's it, swallow it.

Swallow it whole.

Oh, that little tear you're going to see.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

How can you get all that piece of

shit in your mouth?

You can't do that to me.

That's what I've done today.

Wow.

Oh my God.

Incredible.

Oh my God.

I love it, I love it.

I think I love it too.

You can tell, right?

Yes.

Someone told me about Cristal, that he's doing

us a fucking favor for the fat people.

Of course, I'm going to eat it all.

Man.

Incredible.

Oh my God.

Delicious.

How are you?

How are you Cristal?

How are you?

I'm very well.

He's making this bastard very happy.

That's what happens to him.

I think he's in a good mess, right?

Yes.

With me, yes.

With me, in a very good mess.

How are you?

How are you

Cristal?

Oh

my

God.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Don't hurt my Cristal, you paparazzi porn.

You're going to get a good beating from

her.

She's going to get a beating.

A beating.

Wow, you're going to be so lovely.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Lovely.

Oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh.

I don't like it anymore, I don't like

being here in this place.

For me and all the fucking papillones in

the whole of Spain.

Oh my God.

What happened

to your head?

Are you enjoying it or what?

I'm a bitch.

You're a bitch.

And this bastard is a bitch.

Since we got to the beach.

I'm going to see what the fuck that

guy behind you is doing.

I don't trust him.

Okay.

What are you eating Martin?

I'm eating the whole thing.

What's in there?

Can I see?

A delicious clam.

Let's see how it tastes.

Oh.

Oh.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

It's disgusting.

Oh.

Oh.

Ah.

Oh.

Yes.

Ah.

Oh.

I'm hungry