Original subtitles

Can I help you, sir? Yes. I am looking for Esther Tate.

I can leave a message for you.

No... No, no. I, uh... I should really tell her in person.

It's very sad news. Erm, I live near her, and, er...

..I ran over her cat.

Excuse me?

Poor little guy, he just... He just ran right into the road.

I feel really cut up about it.

Oh, no. Don't worry. If it's any consolation,

it's very, very new.

I don't think she had time to get attached.

Can I go tell her?

She'll... She'll be in the gym.

OK.

Check, check. Microphone check.

I like microphones. Microooophooooooone.

Check. Microooophooooooose.

Hey, see you back here at two, yeah, Paul?

Oh, uh, actually, maybe more like 3:45?

I was going to have a drink with a friend.

N-no, that's not how this works, Paul.

I asked my dad, and he said it was OK,

and he's actually technically your boss.

You're an intern, you can't just go for a drink. Paul...

Er, hey, hello. Hi, erm, I can take that.

That's for, er, Josh and Esther, right?

Yeah, Joshua Walker.

Yeah. I can... I can take that. I'm the neighbour. The safe place.

Yeah, no, I'm meant to take this back to the depot.

No, but then they'll have to go and get it. Come on. Be a pal.

# Ooh-laa-ooh, sa-lacka, ooh-la, ooh-la, ooh-ooh

# Ooh-laa-ooh, sha-lacka, ooh-la, ooh-la, ooh-ooh

# I set up camp in the centre of town

# Ready for freedom when it all comes down

# Snapping my fingers, walking around

# I'm the dusty jewel in the thrown-out crown

# Got a bus pass to make my way... #

No, that's not how you pivot, Aisha.

You need to keep one leg on the ground.

If you use both, you're just doing the Macarena.

Jeez... Zack?

Hey. I'm really sorry.

Is that your boyfriend, Miss?

Yeah, all right, we'll wrap it up there.

Everyone go and get changed. Thank you.

He's really fit, Miss.

THEY GIGGLE

Don't... Don't get a big head over it, they're 14,

their hormones are set off by the CPR dummy.

Why... Why are you here?

Well, if the receptionist asks, I... I killed your cat.

I don't have a cat. Oh, I know.

I... I mean, I don't know, I just presumed.

Erm, I think, we mixed up our prescriptions.

Oh, yes. Sorry.

Erm, just so you know, I did open the bag.

When I got into work, in fact, I was going to have my antibiotic.

So, you saw the, um... Viagra.

Is that... Is that what you're stressed about? Mate, don't stress.

No, it's just, erm...

I just don't want Fola to worry.

We don't have a problem or anything, it's just...

..a stupid impulse purchase. I get ya.

We've all got our shit, you know?

Like our brains are weird and our sex parts are weird

and they don't work very well together sometimes.

Sure, yeah. Like, there are times where I spend all day

thinking about shagging. Not... Not right now

because of my whole UTI thing,

but then I'll think about it all day,

and when the time comes, my vagina refuses to play ball.

Do you know what I mean? A hundred percent.

The old girl's just like.

IN FRENCH ACCENT: Non, non, non, not tonight, Esther.

I have other plans.

Uh, my vagina is French, apparently.

Whose vagina's French, Esther?

Ah. Er, Karen.

You must be the famous Josh.

Er, no. No, no, no. Er, actually,

this is Zack. Zack is my neighbour.

Zack, this is Karen. She's the head of the school.

I am. Why are you here?

He... He killed my cat.

Er, with a car. Not deliberately.

I thought I should tell her.

Oh. I didn't know you had a cat?

No, I don't. As it turns out.

Erm, we think... We think it was Mrs Donnelly's from downstairs.

Now I have to go tell Mrs Donnelly I killed her cat.

What a day.

Well, this is very confusing. Esther.

Erm, are you still covering detention with me later?

Yep. Great. Nice to meet you. Oh, bye.

I should probably go. But just so you know,

none of this is anything to be ashamed of.

Obviously, I'm not... I'm not going to tell anyone.

But you told me and the world didn't end.

I guess it didn't. Thank you.

This, erm... Ooh, this was fun.

I feel like... Feel like we're proper friends now. Yeah.

BELL RINGS I'll see you soon.

So, Damien, what do you think?

The previous owners put the extension out there

and then they put the skylight in. Wow!

You asked for the tour. Don't be a prick about it.

Also, I couldn't help notice the bag of prosecco bottles.

Almost like you had a house-warming party and didn't invite me.

Ooh, busted! Hey, I am your oldest friend, Fola.

No, you absolutely are not.

Well, I'm your most interesting friend.

Urgh. I didn't invite anyone, Damien.

Erm, it was just...Zack's friends.

Eesh, that's probably for the best, then.

What do you mean, it's for the best? Well, if it was full of

Zack's friends, it probably wasn't a very good party. Why?

Because they're Zack's friends. Why do you not like my husband?

Who's Joshua?

Damien, answer the question.

No answer mine first. Who's Joshua? Er, it's Josh. He's a neighbour.

They delivered it here by mistake.

Mm. Let's open it.

No. Why do you not like Zack?

Well, look, he seems very nice.

In the same way that, I don't know, dogs are nice.

Or crisps. Oh, you know what, it's not even about him.

It's about this.

He's dragged you into this neighbourhood

so you can have your dinner parties where you sit around

and talk about skylights and catchment areas

and TV bloody boxsets.

Well, at least I'm not still living like I'm 22.

And maybe I wanted this. What if I....

What if I needed this?

Well, all I'm saying is it'd be nice to get you out.

In fact, I'm meeting up with the old gang tomorrow night.

You should come.

Yeah, maybe. He won't be there, Fola.

He won't.

Now are you sure we can't open this?

Oh, go on, then.

Ugh. Boring.

Soz, man, lost track of time.

What? It's nearly four, Paul, I told you to be back at two.

The band's due any minute. And I said 3:45,

so if you think about it, I'm only a little bit late.

Yeah, OK, just go and check the levels in there, OK?

RING TONE

Josh?

Put him on loud speaker.

Hi, Josh. Yeah, hi, how come you're both at home?

Nina gave me the flu.

Uh, Georgia gave me the flu. What's up?

Yeah, so, erm...

You know the thing we talked about the other night?

Despite you being completely vague, yes,

I think I know what you're talking about.

Erm, yeah, well, so, I... I took your advice.

Sort of.

Erm, except that I might have kissed her...

..that night, after the party.

So, you took my advice for, what, two hours?

So, did you just call to brag about it?

No, no, no, no. She wants me to come over tonight

and, you know, I'm just thinking, the kissing that might have

sent some, you know, mixed messages.

Meeting up definitely doesn't sounds like a good idea.

What if there's more kissing? Do you want to be like Dad?

Well, I mean, only in the sense that he has all his hair

in his sixties, so...

I assume you haven't told Esther about this yet?

Er, well, no, obviously.

Well, Josh, that should be your main focus. Sort it out.

Look, I don't think it would be some giant international crisis, Josh,

if you just talk to her. Draw a line under it.

You didn't grow up with him, you don't know that he's

completely incapable of... Look, all you've got to do

is go round there and make it clear that, even though you kissed her,

you don't want things to go any further.

Yep, yep, fine. I can do that. Go on, then,

say what you're going to say.

Well, no Nina. I'm not going to, like, do it out loud, like...

Do it, Josh. Fine.

"Fola, I'm sorry I kissed you, I shouldn't have,

"but I'm in love with Esther,

"so I think we should avoid each other from now on.

"Goodbye forever."

I'll ignore that last bit.

Say that and then do something nice for Esther this evening.

OK, yeah, bye.

# Oh, this is a high that I can't get from nobody else

# You know I'll never let this feeling go to waste

# No, oh, no, no way PHONE VIBRATES

# This must be a love from a higher place

# Closing my eyes and I still know the taste

# The touch of your skin when the sun hits your face

# Lifetime

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