Original subtitles

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY

Oh, yeah, that's good.

Yeah, right there,

just like that.

Oh, no, no, don't stop, don't stop. I'm really close.

HE CLEARS THROAT

Am I keeping you from something? What?

No, this is just, um... Is that more porn?

No, I mean, it's erm... Well, it's Cruel Intentions.

It's like a 12A. It's a sexy 12A.

Oh, OK, well, don't let me interrupt you, then.

Josh, don't be like that.

It's just a bit of a visual aid, to help set the mood.

Yeah, well, I don't know, recently it feels like you've needed

role-play, or porn, or whatever, for us to have sex.

We've been fucking for over a decade, Josh,

I just wanted to mix it up a bit.

I like, I like a bit of inspiration, it's...it's sexy.

When you're watching it literally when we're having sex,

it makes me feel a bit shit. It's not a replacement for you.

Well, it feels like it.

It feels like you're imagining...

..Ryan Phillippe or whatever her name is, that woman you work with.

Oh, my God, OK, there we go, yep.

So, every time we have a fight, you're just going to

pull that card then, yeah? I see. No. This isn't a fight.

Oh, it fucking is now. OK, I shouldn't have brought it up.

Well, you did. And I've said sorry, but you're just going to

hold this against me forever. I just... What? You just what?

OK.

I just don't...understand...

..why you did it.

That's fine.

God. Me messing up one time doesn't give you the excuse

to get all judgey on my inner sexual thoughts all right.

No, OK, that's unfair. Oh, Josh, don't run away.

I'm not, I need a pee. No. I need a pee, actually.

I need a pee first because, God, you're a shithead.

DOOR SLAMS And make me a tea.

Honey. Mm?

Hey, honey. Mm, what time, is it?

Like 7am. Urgh, babe, I didn't go freelance to wake up

at seven in the morning.

Yeah, but I, but I thought you might want to have a quick, erm...

Oh...

Oh, I would like that.

WHISPERING: Thank you for waking me.

Why are we whispering?

Oh, I don't want to disturb it. We're not at the zoo.

SHE SIGHS

Or maybe give it a hand?

I'm sorry. No, no, don't, don't... Don't apologise.

Ahh. Careful!

Sorry. I don't know...

SHE EXHALES

I'll go make breakfast.

Two missed calls from your dad at 4:30am, by the way.

You should call him.

TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS

# I want to scrap all of this

# And start over again

# I made a mock-up

# Painted all the detail in... #

MUFFLED SHOUTING

Big night?

Sorry. It's OK.

I've got a prescription to refill. Tanatril.

Do I, erm...

..do I need a prescription for that?

For what? The err...

..the...down there.

The little blue one.

The... I can't hear you. Viagra!

Oh.

No, you just have to fill out one of these.

OK. Good.

OK, I will have a box, please.

Just a small one. They're all small.

Fine, yeah, sounds good.

Take a seat, it'll be a few minutes.

SCANNER BEEPS

Zack. Hey.

Oh, it's so good to see you. Erm...

Esther. Esther. Right.

I'm just waiting for a prescription.

Yeah. Me, too.

I've just been in my own little world at the shampoo section.

Aw, thanks for the party the other night.

Oh, it's no problem.

You off to work? Yeah.

Yeah, me, too. Me, too.

You feeling all right?

Uh-huh. Prescription?

Oh, it's just a blood pressure thing. Oh. That's shit.

Though I'd probably swap it for my UTI.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

Oh, no, it's all right, I get them quite a lot.

It's not going full steam yet, but me and Josh had this argument

this morning and I can just really feel it coming on,

so I'm having a fuck of a day.

Right. Wow. Yeah, thought I'd just try and head it off

at the pass, you know? Mm-hm.

Although, it'll inevitably turn into thrush

because my vagina loves swimming from one extreme to another.

Sorry, am I oversharing? No...No, no. It's all good.

Esther Tate? Zachary Regan?

Oh, oh...oh, we should hang out some time.

I would love that.

Esther, I should...

Oh, Zack. Great. Thank you.

Erm, so we were meant to be meeting with

the head of marketing at Aesop first thing.

About the April box, yeah, well...

Well, we were on our way over, and "someone"...

..got into an argument with a cyclist.

To be fair, he was being a dick.

Yeah, and as it turns out that that cyclist...

Was the guy from Aesop?

Yeah. So he stormed out the meeting.

OK. Dammit. This...

HE SIGHS

These things happen, this is neither of your faults.

Yeah, it's definitely not mine.

I will smooth it over. Thanks, mate, you're a life-saver.

Yeah...

Did you need something else?

Yeah, erm, why is Darren leaving?

Urgh. He hasn't talked to you yet?

No. It all seemed very sudden.

Yeah, so, we made a bet on it. I heard he might be going to Spotify.

Yeah, and I reckon it might be a MeToo thing.

That's why she hasn't signed the leaving card yet.

In case it's a MeToo thing. It's not.

I would tell you if it was a MeToo thing. It would be a whole...

Oh, he never... He hasn't... Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

God, no. But, you know, you never know.

No, no. I think he just wanted to tell people

at the leaving party, but err, yes, Spotify.

Yes! Give me my money, please.

Yeah, you know where you can shove it.

INCOMING CALL Uh, I've got to take this.

Out.

Hey. Don't make bets on your co-workers. Sure, boss.

Hey, Zacky, my boy. Isn't it like 4am there?

Yeah, yeah, I know. I know.

But, err, I just wanted to ask you something.

It's...it's an emergency.

I just wanted...

I just wanted you to hear this song, man.

Fuckin' Steely Dan. Best there ever was, man.

Uh, I can't hear it. Can you send me a link, or something?

Oh, Zachary. You know, I really want to come and see you next week,

but I might not be able to get to the airport.

I sent you money last week and I paid for your flight.

I know, I know.

Fucking Eric man, he was meant to be sorting me out.

I've got to go. I'll call you on the weekend.

Bye.

Oh, fuck. Esther.

# You better go and run boy

# Go and get your fun boy

# No-one does it better, go and get it for you

# And when they get you alone

# They'll never leave you alone

# Hey, hey

# You know you've got to do it

# Hey, hey

# You really ought to do it

# Hey, hey

# Know what you're going for

# Hey, hey

# And then you go for more

# And when they get you alone... #