Original subtitles

This is the story of a girl who transforms all magic into wash basins.

One day at the start of summer

I'm done.

Alright, good work. Well then, let me check it.

Okay.

Okay, you pass, Kaho.

Thanks.

As I thought, after grasping the basic programming, you learned fast.

All that's left is Koyomi's.

It looks like things will take some time on this side.

I'm sorry.

How cute...

There's a package for you.

Huh, what is it?

Isn't it from your online shopping again?

Ah! I've been waiting for this!

What the heck is that?

You know, all the rich people put these in their bathtubs, right?

The hot water comes gushing out of here like "whoosh"!

You got something useless again.

Isn't it cool?

That's not what I meant. I just want you to stop spending money on random stuff.

It's okay, the bill was sent to another place.

Another place?

Wh-What?

Misa... Where is Misa? You're hiding her, right?

I'll decide whether or not you'll receive permanent trauma based on your answer.

Yahoo!

Misa!

Huh? What's wrong?

Don't "what's wrong" me. What is this?

Since this was a bill I didn't know about, I asked the person who delivered it.

It turned out to be your doing.

Saying things like "your doing" is a bit rude.

Why do I have to pay for this in your place?

Please give me an explanation!

Well, whenever I'm working, you always barge in and destroy all sorts of things, right?

I've been covering the costs for all of that damage.

Like I said, why do I have to pay for this?

Eh? Because you're the one who broke them.

I just wanted to stop you! That's why I had to-

Isn't it your fault in the first place for dabbling in that sort of criminal activity?

It's not a crime. Just barely.

At any rate, I break stuff because it is an uncontrollable force! An uncontrollable force!

So you're saying that the door you just broke is a result of this uncontrollable force?

You're in the way. Could you please shut up?

Let's take this outside, Misa!

Eh? Sounds like a pain.

Can't we wait until next week?

You... Prepare yourself!

I'm done! Enter!

I'm... I'm sorry, Yumiko-chan.

You don't have to apologize.

B-But...

I'm sorry.

Yumiko sure brings trouble...

Don't talk like it doesn't concern you.

In the first place, it was you that-

Anyways,

You're her teacher, so aren't you at fault for Koyomi's inability to use magic aside from summoning wash basins?

To tell you the truth, classical magic is outside of my field of expertise...

I've been teaching her modern magic properly, though.

I don't think there's been any results on that end either, though.

That's it!

Koyomi, learn classical magic.

Classical magic... The kind you use, Yumiko-chan?

You go "boom" and things break, or "kaboom" and they get blown away.

Why is your impression of me so full of violence?

I don't think she's wrong, though.

What did you say?

Anyways,

Koyomi must learn to control this bad habit of transforming all magic into wash basins.

Therefore, classical magic is most suitable for this, since it's the basis of all magic.

Eh? But...

Well... isn't it alright?

Since it's decided, let's start our special training right away.

Help me, Kaho-chan!

Good luck.

Noo!

I'll clarify first.

Classical magic is the original form of magic.

Modern magic is just a copy of classical magic.

Also, sitting in front of the computer all day leads to a lack of exercise and damages your eyesight.

Just imagine it.

Imagine what your life would be like if you continued these unhealthy practices.

No no no, I don't want to turn into that!

Y-You can rest assured, Koyomi.

Classical magic is the way to save you from becoming a shut in.

R-Really?

Unlike modern magic, you only need to chant the spell to cast it.

There's no need for complicated preparations.

Because this requires you to use your flesh to build the code,

it counts as a valid type of exercise.

It also has dieting effects.

Classical magic is truly the "ultimate" universal diet medicine.

And I'll teach it to you, right now, as a special service. Completely free!

I'll learn it! I'll try my best to learn classical magic!

Nice answer.

Uh, um... Why am I dressed like this?

Well, clothes like this...

Or that...

Or something like this simply won't do.

I once read in my late grandfather's books...

...that these kinds of clothes are best for special training.

Yumiko-chan's ancestor is...

Don't talk about useless things!

Listen carefully, Koyomi!

Classical magic requires intelligence and stamina.

To lack either one can be fatal to a magic user.

First, to improve your stamina.

Starting now, run 10 laps around Ginza city.

Eh? T-Ten laps?

Don't be so picky!

I'm your master, so run when I tell you to run, and stop when I tell you to stop!

Understood?

Y-Yes...

One two, one two, one two, one two...

Hey, Yumiko-chan...

Call me Master.

Hey, Master... I think we're being stared at.

Just ignore them.

I've gotten these kinds of stares ever since I was born. I'm used to it.

But this is a first for me!

I'm not like you, Yumiko-chan. You're beautiful and have long, slender legs and big breasts.

Morishita, don't be discouraged.

When compared with big breasts, your size is more welcomed.

Welcomed... Welcomed by who?

The very big friends.

The very big friends?

It's fine if you don't understand.

Hey! Now is not the time for useless chitchat!

Koyomi, you're lagging behind!

Even if you say that...

My grandfather's works state that magic relies on motivation and endurance.

I think motivation and endurance are pretty much the same thing.

You're so annoying!

Motivation and endurance are pushing it for me...

Huh?!

Yumiko-chan!

What are you doing?!

Help me!

Ah... That scared me.

Don't say "that scared me" to me.

I've never heard of anyone being dragged away by some truck that was temporarily parked on the road.

It's fortunate that you stopped early at a red light.

Anyways, your reaction time is twice as slow as a normal person's, and your attention span is too short.

Ichinose, Ichinose.

What is it? I'm lecturing Koyomi right now.

Look at that.

Yumiko-chan!

Just what are you doing!?

Ah... Please stop worshiping me.

Just a bit more and I would've been dragged to Yokohama.

Ichinose, tea.

Thank you.

You really are amazing, Yumiko-chan. You caught up to a bus on foot.

I didn't race with a bus because I wanted to, you know!

Anyways, you only ran seriously for a little bit.

How much trouble do you have to get yourself into?

It's actually pretty lucky that I was able to return before sunset.

How is it lucky? How can you even live your everyday life properly like this?

I don't think you've lived properly, either.

Since it's like this, you leave me no choice. Let's move to the next stage.

This time, we'll practice voice training.

Voice training?

If you can't chant your spells properly, then...

You can't create good codes.

So you have to gain experience by doing tongue twisters and heavy breathing,

raising the precision of the spells used.

I'm telling you to do it!

Huh?

Follow my lead.

A E I U E O A O.

A E I U-

What's wrong?

She says she bit her tongue.

How useless can you be!?

I'm sorry!

With things like this, we have no choice but to resort to the final method.

Koyomi.

Yumiko-chan?

From here on out, I'll help you construct up to 50% of your code.

You must use your own heart to feel it and complete the code.

But... I...

Don't worry, I'll help you complete it up to about 90%.

Okay...

Do you understand? No more wash basins this time around, okay?

Ah... Yeah, I understand. I can't make any wash basins.

I absolutely can't.

Then, let's start.

Amazing.

The preparations are complete.

Now, let's begin, Koyomi.

Yeah.

Five thousand two hundred and twelve.

Five thousand two hundred and thirteen.

Wha-

Why!?

Huh? You're already finished with the special training?

Finished?

The problem starts before that...

I'm sorry, because of me...

Well, it's not exactly your fault.

I'm just a bit tired from teaching.

That's it!

I made a big mistake.

Mistake?

Rather than trying to make you learn so many new things from the start,

All I have to do is improve the technique you already have.

Morishita's special technique is...

That's right. Wash basins.

Even in classical magic, summoning is a pretty high level code.

If you can use this freely, then...

It's much better than other confusing magic spells.

Koyomi's magic constructs a code that forcefully changes other codes into wash basins.

So...

Please transform my constructed code into something other than wash basins!

Eh... Um...

Eh!?

If thou carves into time, thus shall I reverse time.

If thou reverses time, thus shall I carve into time.

Turn back, turn back....

...until all which seems limitless is reduced to nothing.

I shall continue to turn; thou art the clock.

Eh... Wait a second!

Code, become my sword!

Now, Koyomi, transform my magic!

Even if you ask me to do something like that all of a sudden...

I won't care if you get hurt!

Stop right there!

Is it alright to leave them like that?

Yumiko isn't attacking seriously.

No, I'm talking about the yard.

Just let Soshiro try his best to think of something.

Have you finally prepared yourself?

Then, here I come!

Ah.

Didn't I tell you to summon something other than wash basins?

Even if you say that...

While changing the code, how about trying to think about something else?

Something else?

For example, the things you want right now.

The things I want...

I want to grow taller, but that won't work...

and I want some allowance, but that's kind of...

That's right, a dress!

The one I saw earlier at the mall, that one piece with the bowtie!

It's a wash basin again!

Wait.

Something finally changed.

So what?

We're moving to the next stage now.

Yeah.

This is... made of bronze.

This one's... iron, huh?

Amazing. It's like a metal product display convention.

The end result is still wash basins...

Hey, you! Do you have some kind of special memory that involves wash basins!?

Eh... nothing really special...

Then why!?

Geez, why are you making such a ruckus in my backya-

Ah! What the hell is this!?

They're wash basins, as you can see.

I can see that without you telling me!

I'm asking you why my yard is buried in wash basins!

Don't worry, Koyomi's summoned wash basins will disappear on their own after a little while.

That's not the problem here!

Hey, listen to me!

Although the composition changed, the shape remains the same.

It looks like if it isn't a strong code, the wash basins won't change very much.

Strong... code?

I see... So it's like that?

Yu-Yumiko-chan?

In other words, this level of magic isn't enough.

Long ago, in a distant land, a wind is amplified by a blazing flame.

The wind shall revolve around the demon's neck and bind it, causing it to lose the wind of freedom!

Ah... Huh? Snow?

Misa-san, I get the feeling that things just took a turn for the worst...

This is a maximum power code. It's probably the strongest of Yumiko's magic codes.

Wh-What should we do?

Even if you ask me... It seems like Yumiko's completely snapped.

Ah! There is one way to solve this problem.

Eh... I have to do it?

Good luck!

Fight, Morishita!

N-No way...

Gulp!

Ah! Yumiko-chan!

Koyomi, I'll leave the rest to you.

Huh?

It worked?

Wh-What the hell is this!?

Even I'm a bit tired.

I'm sorry!

Ah, you don't have to apologize, Koyomi.

I'll make Yumiko pay for the repairs to the house.

I get it, already.

I can't believe I went berserk without realizing it.

But in the end, it was still a wash basin.

Anyways, my clothes and my hair are full of dirt.

Soshiro, can you help me prepare the bath?

What kind of deluded fantasy are you talking about?

How could the bath still be usable?

The power lines, gas pipes, and water are all getting repaired tomorrow!

Eh... What are we going to do tonight, then?

Who cares!?

Should we stay at a hotel or something?

That's it! Hey, everyone, I just thought of a good idea.

A good idea?

Just like I thought, this feels great.

Geez, you...

How did you think of something so ridiculous?

Well, you have to make use of what you have, right?

In a rare occurance, Morishita's wash basin has become useful.

You didn't have to add the rare part!

But, the end result was still a wash basin.

Geez...

Well, what's so bad about it? Because of that, we're all here enjoying this rare experience.

By the way, Morishita's wash basins...

Don't they disappear after a while?

Ah! What did you say?!

Ah, now that you mention it...

Wait... Don't tell me...