Original subtitles

Previously on Survivor, the members of Motomaji were weak and hungry. Do we

the mush or do we want the gruel this morning? Lex was on shaky ground with

alliance. So Lex gave his word to Brandon, but he gave his word to us

He kind of went out on his own and covered his own ass.

From here on out, I'll have a question with Lex.

But Lex guaranteed himself three more days by winning immunity. Lex wins

immunity!

Back at camp, Frank spoke his mind a little too bluntly. These little liberal

special interest groups that the media give open market to instead of the

average working class American that founded this country. Today is tribal

council day. You don't want to really ruffle any feathers.

At tribal council, Frank paid for his opinions. Even Teresa voted against him.

Only six remain.

Tonight, the stakes grow higher as one more is voted out of the tribe.

I'm surrounded by people I enjoy, but yet I'm so alone.

You know, you're so alone because they're your friends, but, you know, I

met them a month ago.

You know,

I hold back a lot. You know, I don't reveal everything about myself. Even

I'm surrounded by people all the time, I still feel so alone.

You've got mail.

Oh, a diary.

It's going to be huge, guys.

All right.

And it reads, you think you know them

and that they know you. It's time to

find out if that's really true. For the winner,

A prize that takes you away, but that's just

the beginning of an unforgettable day.

I think it's a fair guess that this challenge is early because whoever wins

going on a trip today.

Oh, my God.

Well, seeing as how you guys have been away for over a month, I figure you've

got to be missing the loved ones a little bit.

So I called them up and asked them to put together a little greeting, which

also help you to get to know your tribe mates a little better.

Miss Johnson, you're up first.

We have two pieces of news, good news and bad news. The good news is we're

getting married. The invitations are going out. And the bad news is that

not here and that we miss you dearly.

Bye -bye.

We're having a ball.

See you.

He's so cool.

Thank you.

Does something like that give you the strength to go on or make you think, ah,

I've got to get home?

I think they're rooting for me so much, and we're so close to the end now that

it does give me the strength to go on.

All right, Ms. Cooper.

Hi,

Teresa. You remember us? We're your family in Jackson, Georgia. We miss you.

I've been knocking off my calendars, Mommy. It's great for you. I miss you.

And I love you.

That's all I want to say.

Hi, T -Bird.

Hey, Daddy.

We love you, honey.

Be good, and we'll see you when you come back. We'll be waiting on you.

Bye, T.

Bye, Mom. Bye, Mom.

That's great. That's great.

Ethan. All right. Your turn.

Hi, Ethan.

Honey, we just finished eating dinner.

I really like having a one -way conversation with you when you can't

back. And we love you, and good luck, kid.

Big Tom, you're up, fella.

Hey,

Tom, I sure do miss you around here. I've had a lot of time, so I've just

riding this old stud here since I don't have one at home. We do miss you, and

everything's going fine, and we look forward to having you back. I love you,

we'll see you later. Bye -bye.

You can see that they don't have any more control over the goats than you do.

All right, dogs.

I miss you more every day.

Oh, my God.

Sometimes I just have to call on your voicemail so that I can hear your voice.

I know that you're fine.

And I know you're doing well.

Love you a lot.

Have fun.

Enjoy. Remember how much I love you.

Nice.

You can tell as your mom the reason it stops and starts.

She couldn't stop crying either.

And she didn't want anyone to see her crying, so she kept stopping the tape.

Obviously, I think after her.

You okay?

Yeah. You're shaking.

I'm good.

It's a good shake?

Yeah, it's a good shake. It's good. Okay.

Lex, want to hear from your family? I do.

Hi, Daddy.

I love you so much. I love you more than ice cream.

I miss you. You and I love you very much.

Hi, honey. For the minute I saw you, I fell in love with you and can't wait to

see you again and give you a big hug and kiss you and, you know.

See you soon.

You rock, Dad.

Well,

I think that's one of the most romantic things I've ever heard. The moment I met

you, I knew I loved you.

This is the best reward. I mean, this was the best, seeing that.

with everything. Thank you. Good.

All right, so we figured we had your families there with the video camera

Might as well involve them in our next reward challenge.

So we asked your family members four questions about you. Whoever gets the

answers right wins a reward.

The winner of today's reward challenge will leave here immediately.

You'll be flown to the Maasai Mar where you will watch the migration of the

wildebeest, one of the most spectacular things you'll ever see in your life.

You'll then go to a safari resort tonight.

You'll have a real bed. You'll have a real shower.

You'll have real food.

You'll get up in the morning, private balloon ride. And you're going to pay

it with my own personal visa.

So, first question.

We asked your family member, what is your most embarrassing moment?

So, Kim, you're up first.

Throwing up on you on our second date. Okay. See what he said.

You might ask her what happened on our second date, but I'll use a different

answer. Was it a dinner party? Kim disappeared for about two hours, and she

fall asleep on the toilet and flopped the bathroom floor all the time.

He had it, and then he went with something else. If you miss the Masai

one question... I will throw up on him again.

Teresa. New York Marathon injury. It took me about all day and all night to

finish.

Filling a full tray of drinks on first -class passengers.

God. Ethan.

I was doing my hair for prom, and the curling iron got stuck, and my mom had

cut my hair out.

All right, we'll see what she said.

Well, that would be letting in an easy goal in a very important soccer game.

All right, Tom, show us your most embarrassing moment.

I was walking around with dirty underwear in the house and the people in

kitchen. I walked in the kitchen and met these people, and I had a little stain

in my underwear.

You can't embarrass him. He doesn't give a hoot.

He just doesn't care, so I can't give you an answer because I don't think

ever been embarrassed.

All right, Kim.

I kept falling off my bike in a race. I was doing a triathlon, and my bathing

suit got caught on my bike seat as I tried to pick my bike up.

All the other racers got a really good view.

The most embarrassing moment is when she wiped out during a triathlon.

Couldn't get her bike turned around in her babysitting.

Good job.

Good job.

All right, Lex. Most embarrassing moment.

Back in college, I used to go to a lot of happy hours. And one time I got a

little too happy.

And I threw up in the middle of my human sexuality class.

That would be in college when he threw up all over another student.

Yes, there it is.

That's my wife.

Love her. Okay, after the first round, Lex and Kim Powers up one and one.

Next question. What physical trait do you least like about yourself?

I think he'll say my feet.

It will be her feet.

I have straight, stringy, see -through hair.

I would have to say that would be her nose.

Well, I hate to admit it, but this is my family answering for me, and they

probably think I said I have none.

Your legs.

What?

I'm going to say hair, because I'd love this. If I could grow it over, I'd have

it down on my feet.

He used to say he was a heck of a man when he had hair, so lack of hair.

Good job, big time.

Could have gone two ways, but I'm going to say small chest.

It's her arm.

Oh, God, Mom, where'd you get that?

My nose.

The hair on his back. Sorry.

Oh, what? No.

You can take a look. I think I got about six of them. All right. After two

rounds, here's where we're at. Kim Johnson has one.

Big Tom has one.

Young Kim has one. And Lex has one.

Teresa and Ethan, you guys got to get on the board. Here's the third question.

What will your family member say is your biggest fear?

Biggest fear.

Growing old and not being able to do what I want to do. She's really pretty

fearless, but she is scared of bungee jumping.

Wrong track.

My greatest fear and probably only fear is the loss of a loved one.

Well, what I can think of is maybe the Knicks.

Knicks! I think it's the fear of throwing up.

Vomiting.

Go on, the mom!

Okay, Big Tom.

Just like none, I'm fearless.

It's always in every parent's mind about their children, so his biggest fear

would be that something would happen to his son.

Hard to argue with that.

Yes, it is.

We've got to get this one.

Fighters. The biggest fear is being unfulfilled.

Oh, my God, are you kidding me? Oh, that's deep.

Lex, outliving either of my sons, losing one of my boys.

Something happening to me or the kids.

That'll work. Way to go. Thanks, honey.

Okay, Lex is in the lead with two.

Kim Johnson, Kim Powers, Ethan, and Tom, you each have one.

Teresa, this is the last question. Since there's no way you can win, we'll leave

you out of this one.

What is your greatest achievement?

I said my family. I've been married very happily for 37 years, and I have three

great kids. And not having any family of my own before that just doesn't get any

better than this.

I think her answer.

with a really great family, three great kids and grandchildren.

Yay.

Okay, Ethan.

Mine would probably have to be playing professional soccer.

Taking the high school soccer team to the state tournament at the starting

freshman goal.

I've done nothing after high school.

Big Tom, the minute I asked this question, you didn't hesitate.

You wrote three letters down. I can tell from here.

Son, my son.

You don't have to play.

She knows that's my greatest calling.

Tom's greatest achievement would be his son's bow.

Yeah.

Got that?

Kim. This is strange, but I said calling off my wedding at the last minute.

Kim's greatest achievement was her solo trip to Europe.

All right, Lex.

Get this right.

You're on your way to the Maasai Mara. If you don't, you're in a three -way

What did you say?

Big Tom, I have no doubt.

I see a beautiful sun.

Crowning achievement.

What is Lex's greatest achievement?

His voice.

Way to go. Lex, it seems every time I turn around, I'm handing you something.

Now I'm handing you my Visa card.

Go easy on it, please. I've got to be kind. No way.

Now, I can't let you go alone.

You've got to pick one of the other five to take with you.

I'm going to take Big Tom. All right, you guys are going to the Maasai Mara.

I'll be the best date you ever had.

I knew when I picked Tom that it was going to be a roller coaster ride. If

anyone should see something completely different and really experience Africa,

thought Tom was really kind of deserving it.

The plane landed, and we were whisked away to a place called Governor's Camp.

You can imagine the ultimate five -star luxury hotel just literally dropped

right in the middle of...

A lush African jungle, that's what it was. It was just, it was like the Garden

of Eden.

Can you believe it?

Cool.

Oh, our own pooper.

That's it.

Oh.

Hey, hey, Dad, dude.

Oh.

That's the mara riva.

Holy moly. The hippos are right there. Wow.

Oh, that was great. $1 .00 a tab. My pleasure.

There it is.

Be sure to get your tip out of it.

Yeah.

Don't problem.

Guys and women.

Beautiful.

Paradise.

Amen.

Here, my friend. Cheers to you.

We'd eat more right now than we have in 30 days.

I don't think we would be well advised to describe this place in all its detail

and glory to everyone else in the tribe because I think they might just kill us

and bury us. This is a crime considering they're back there right now cooking

mush in the boiling water.

We're having so much more fun than the guys are on their trips, don't you

No. You don't even care to joke about it?

No.

No, I think the guys are probably on the trip of a lifetime.

And we're not. We're making cards. We're making a deck of cards.

I love cards, and I know lots of games, so I told them I would teach them some

games. But we're making the best of it.

We're very jealous, not even of just the trip, but we're jealous of the food

that they're going to get.

I'm jealous mostly of the food that they're going to get.

Look at that.

Just on that hog.

Good.

I feel like Marlon Perkins.

We just went on the base of the forest.

We got in a vehicle and got right up in the mud and thousands of glitter beads.

We got right in the middle of them. They didn't know what to do and we didn't

either.

They're crazy as hell. They're ugly. They're ugly as a girl I used to date

home.

They're calling each other their mate. Hell, they're butting heads and knocking

each other to the ground. It's a cluster.

It's the damnedest thing you've ever seen.

They sound like me on a good Saturday night when I get home.

Two million head of animals.

moving at the same time.

Two million had a wild animal.

The safari was amazing.

I'm seeing just about every type of wildlife that I've wanted to see. And

seeing it all in the space of an hour.

Look at him. Look at him.

Even with big cats, yawns are

contagious.

Look at the babies.

So cute.

He thought he was doing something.

You really think he's doing something? Yeah.

When we came back from the spa, we were just bubbling.

Now, what's this right here, Tommy?

All of a sudden, I looked up there.

Beside the river, and I seen two chairs and a table, and on that table, it had a

few spirits on there. So I told Lex, I said, hey, looks like we might ought to

have a toast.

Thank you for today.

Thank you for coming.

Both Tom and I like to tip a cocktail back now and again at

home. And so our first thought coming back was I'd kill somebody to get a nice

cold beer in me.

And this place is wonderful because if you want something, there's somebody

right there. They can almost read your mind.

To the game.

I've never drank beer with a mustache before.

I've never drunk beer with a hippo before.

When the dinner bell rang, Tom wasn't quite done with his bottle of bourbon.

Tom's definitely not one to waste anything, so he took his bottle with

fact, it was in his pocket.

Oh, beautiful.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, this is great.

We have a little grilling down there. We have some chicken and some lamb.

They brought me a piece of lamb this bigger around and I'm a meat eater. I

that salad stuff is nice for women or something, but I like meat. It was

absolutely melt in your mouth.

Thank you. Beautiful.

Thank you. You're the man, friend.

Fix me another sheep.

Hope you're hungry. I'm hungry. Good. And I'm like, whoo.

I can imagine this tastes like mashed potatoes.

Let me know.

Nope. It's not working.

It still tastes like corn mush. I don't ever want to eat corn again.

Not a corn tortilla.

Not corn flakes.

Not corn on the chowder. Not corn chowder. Not corn in the can. Not cream

Not corn bread. No corn muffins.

No burritos.

No corn tortillas. No popcorn at the movies.

No more corn.

Please.

Live none finer.

It's raining all right. There's not been a drop of rain hit my ass in 40 days

and 40 nights. I'm going to get out there and put my ass out in it.

When we got back from dinner, Tom decided to promptly...

helped himself to as much of the bourbon as possible.

You want to see a rabbit pulled out of a hat?

I know he was liquored and loaded, but it just made the whole night that much

funnier. Look, I'm glad you picked me.

You didn't want to.

You'd have probably been bored, somebody else. You knew you didn't.

Here, you'd probably want to bed at 7 o 'clock.

Hey, bartender, fix me a toddy.

Old Big Tom will love everybody.

Don't worry about them crocs. Old Big Tom got some stinky socks.

Tom was spent.

So I kind of, I took him to bed.

Here we go.

Follow me. Here we go.

All right.

All I ask is that if you got a puke, you go outside.

All right.

Hey, Lex, thank you.

Hey, my friend.

You're welcome.

I'd do it for you. I know you would. I know you would.

You're damn right I would.

Morning. Good morning.

Oh, yeah.

This morning when I woke up, My head wasn't a fifth in a war stub.

I said, where am I? I had to look around. I was in a bed.

We're just waking up early because we got an early morning wake -up call for

balloon ride time.

I drank a glass of water and ate four or five cookies.

Well, it was on again.

I just got tanked back up.

Good morning.

Good morning. How you doing, Captain?

There's a big old heat.

Like God, he'd pull out them nozzles, squirt that fire up there, and he'd

a flame like a dragon up in there.

And when he did, here we go.

Here we go.

Goodness gracious.

Holy moly.

That was almost as high as I thought. I think you were higher.

This guy, Rob, he's from England. And every time we get talking to him, that

thing would keep going down, down.

And I could see a tree in front of him.

Oh, my.

I kind of shut it. And he'd say, oh. And then he'd go.

That was pretty good.

Oh,

crikey. After 30 years, if I can't get it right by now, I never will. Yeah.

Hey, 30 years, you ever had to crash?

The balloons are wonderfully safe. The most dangerous thing about ballooning is

actually filling the champagne when you land.

Look at the hyena.

Well done. Look at him run, Big Tom. Look at that. This is the way to see it.

I'm looking straight down into the jungle, looking straight on overhead on

wildlife.

We're just whisking through this stuff, you know, while the sun's coming up. It

was amazing.

It leaves you breathless.

They spend all night eating grass, and then they spend all day in the river

getting rid of it.

Considering where we've been, just to see the green, it makes you appreciate

so much more.

I hate to even blink, and I'm afraid I'll miss something.

I see two wildebeest just bonging along.

I said, ain't that funny? I said, all them wildebeest we've seen, these two

down here next to the river by themselves.

I said, if I was a lion, I'd pick that little one out. It'd be a good meal. I

had no longer said that, then all of a sudden, a lion popped up. Look, look,

look, a lion here. Oh, look at that. Oh,

my God.

All of a sudden, that line kind of gives up. And I said, well, the wildebeest is

one. About that time, here popped another one up. That line had ran the

wildebeest into the other one. Wow!

Oh, my God.

Now, can you believe that?

Unbelievable.

Nice.

Got it!

Just like they said, with death by asphyxiation.

He's just holding his mouth right on top of that.

Wildebeest there. Where there were two wildebeest, there's now one.

That was a treat. Fantastic.

That is rad. That is rad. That was cool.

My mind has been a pretty little old tight thing. It's not been expanded very

much. But this whole thing has gave me new life.

At 45, I thought I'd done some things.

And I found out I ain't done diddly. This just shows me that there's more to

life than just...

What's our around the corner at the house?

Going back to camp at this point is going to be miserable.

I mean, I'm feeling sick about it.

Going back to camp now means going back to the game. I'm going to be the last

person standing. So in the next couple hours, I'll have to be on my game again,

as much as it pains me to admit it.

If you don't have any of those cards, you can change it with an 8.

Any fruit you want.

Any call it. Say clubs or whatever.

Or the airplane.

Oh.

Back. Hey.

We waved and, you know, pretended to be really excited that they're coming back

yet. We were just hoping they wouldn't come back like bundles of energy because

we were on a definite different wavelength than those guys. We were like

struggling, depressed, you know, hoping we could go to sleep.

Hello.

They came back and very subtly and slowly described their adventures, which

sounded wonderful to us. I know how rich people vacation in Africa now. The

wildebeest was flying and zigzagging. I mean, she was just cat and mouse.

It was neat hearing about everything they did, but my mind's kind of going in

different directions on what to do. And now at this point, instead of boggling

myself down mentally with strategy, I'm really just...

holding out to see what happens with the immunity challenge.

Hey, guys.

Okay,

today's immunity challenge works a little differently.

Today you win by eliminating the others.

There are 18 hanging pots.

You each have your name on three of those pots.

Those pots represent your immunity. As long as you have a pot hanging, you're

still in the game. When your pots are gone, so are you.

These sticks are traditional African weapons called rungas. A skilled warrior

would crack a skull with one of these.

All you have to do is break the pots and make them fall to the ground.

You'll throw one stick per round, and after each round, you'll switch

Your goal, break your opponent's pots before they break yours.

Last one left standing wins immunity.

Let me have it back.

Now, here we go. Unity at stake once again.

Survivors ready.

Go.

First blood.

Tommy, it hurts.

Tommy, good shot. Tommy. All right, everybody rotate.

Two steps down.

Teresa, still has two pots left. Everyone else has three.

Survivors ready.

Tom, with another bust, taking out one of Teresa, one of Kim Powers.

I'm not talking to you.

Drivers ready.

Go.

You hit me, Tom. Big Tom so far has taken out one of Teresa's, one of Lex's,

one of Kim Powers.

Tops.

Kim Johnson, you hit your own pot.

I don't think it fell. That pot is dead.

Teresa, Max, Kim Powers, and Kim Johnson have each lost one pot.

Survivors ready.

Throw.

Was that you, Ethan, took out Kim Powers? Yeah.

Sorry, Kim. Kim Powers, you're down to one pot left. He did offer up an

Yeah, whatever.

It was sort of a quiet one. I heard it.

Survivors ready.

Throw.

Ethan took out Teresa.

Tom took out Teresa.

Have a seat on the bench.

Kim Powers, you're down to one.

Lex, you're down to two. Everybody else is good.

Survivors ready.

Toss.

Kim Powers.

Out of the game, Kim.

Sorry, but Tom, you're going down.

Watch how you toss.

Toss.

Ethan takes his first hit.

Survivors ready.

Throw.

Tom takes a hit from Kim Johnson.

Survivors ready.

Throw.

Ethan takes another hit from Big Tom.

Ethan down to one left. Everybody else has two.

Survivors ready.

Throw.

Got one left, Kim. Ethan, you got one left. Lex and Tom have two.

Survivors ready.

Ethan takes out Lex.

Lex, Kim Johnson, Ethan, down to one.

Throw.

Ethan out of the game. We're down to three.

Big Tom, you have two pots left.

KJ and Lex, one pot.

Throw.

Kim Johnson, you're hanging on by a thread, but you're still in.

You rat.

Survivors ready.

Throw.

Leck, you're done.

We're down to two.

Big Tom and KJ.

KJ, you have one pot left. Big Tom, you have two.

Survivors ready.

Boom! Kim, you took out one of Tom's. Tom took out your last one. Good work,

Tom. About time, Tommy. About time.

Hey, baby. Good job, man.

Big Tom, get over here. We'll see if this will fit around your neck. Turn

around.

Hey, watch Buster the boil there. There we go.

Congratulations.

Yes.

Good shot.

Every now and then I giggle to myself.

I'm like, oh my God, I'm almost there.

I don't want to screw anything up.

It's really exciting.

Nobody can vote for me when we go to tribal council, so I'm guaranteed to be

here tomorrow.

Somebody's going to leave tonight, but it ain't going to be me.

T -Bird's got, she's got a lot of fire in her belly. And I know that there's

nothing more dangerous than a desperate animal. An animal or a person that wants

something bad enough that they're willing to just try anything.

I really don't want to see the guys come down to the end.

No, I don't either.

If you go up against any of the guys in the jury.

The guys are going to win.

Probably. Yeah.

But Dr. Teresa.

Her plan was to basically try to get the girls to get together and maybe round

up Tommy or something and vote against Lex. There's three of us and three of

them.

Yeah, but they want Lex first. Right.

But I don't know that Tommy's going to vote for Lex.

Tom, I say Tom will vote for Lex. You do?

If we could get one more to side with us, we could get Lex off. This is the

you've got to start thinking, who do you want to go to the end with and who do

you want off?

You're going to vote for Lex next.

If I lived to be 100, I still can't thank Lex enough for him giving me the

opportunity to go on a safari. But even after going, I'm still irritated.

I don't think he did me right.

Lex recruited Brandon to save him.

I felt like that Lex betrayed me, and he knows my feelings on that.

We'll now bring in the jury, Kelly, Frank, Brandon.

33 days.

Big week for you, Big Tom.

Wind immunity, go to the Mara.

We haven't got time to tell you how big a trip it was.

Unbelievable, probably the best two days of my life.

There's no way I can repay Lex for taking me along.

I mean, if I live to be 100, thank you, don't go far now.

Lex, from your point of view, how was Tom as a traveling partner?

Never a dull moment.

Had a great time.

It was a blast.

All right, without thinking, I'm going to ask you a question. Give me the first

thing that comes to your mind.

Ethan, when you think about home, what do you miss most?

Couch. Teresa. Children.

The ability to be totally relaxed.

Wiking kids, no doubt.

My mom.

Cheeseburger.

So with the exception of Big Tom, a lot of it is family, loved ones.

Are they going to be proud?

of how you've played the game so far? How about for you, Kim Powers? I've

even camped before, so I think they'll be pretty proud that I actually made it

33 days sleeping outside.

Big Tom, are you proud with how you've played the game?

Maybe.

Maybe my middle legs had a moment or two. I might cringe a little, but I

remember that much about it. Other than that, I'll hold my head up. I have no

regret. How about you, Teresa?

Probably wouldn't have.

started out building such an alliance.

When I started, I think that caused a lot of friction with our tribe, so I

wouldn't have started out that way.

Kim, how about for you?

I feel that I've played the game the way I run my life, and I'm very proud to

have been here.

How about you, Ethan? I like the way I've been playing the game. I'm having a

lot of fun. So far, it's gone pretty well, but I don't know. It could change

tomorrow.

Lex, three out of the last four challenges.

You've won.

It's been a while since you've been at tribal council without that necklace

around your neck.

How different is it tonight?

Well, I mean, it feels a lot different not having the protection and the

of that immunity necklace.

I might be a target. I mean, sure.

And I've seen my name on more than one or two cards at previous tribal

so I know what it's like to almost be taking that walk of shame.

But that's the reality of tribal council.

And, you know, I'm here to...

Try to make it through it. It's time to vote. Big Tom, you first.

This is the part of the game I hate. Having to vote for someone out of the

that you really care about.

I'm stoked you made it this far, though. Really stoked.

You're a strong competitor.

I'm giving you my vote.

Still crazy about you, though.

I'm going to tally the votes.

Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person will be asked to

leave the tribal council area immediately.

I'll read the votes.

First vote.

Lex.

Lex. Two votes Lex.

Kim Powers.

Kim Powers.

Two votes Kim, two votes Lex.

Kim. That's three votes Kim, two votes Lex.

Last vote.

Kim Powers.

You need to bring me your torch.

Jim, the tribe has spoken.

It's time for you to go.

You can head back to camp.

Good night.

Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode.

Next time on Survivor, Moto Maggi endures new hardships.

We've got an elephant disrespecting our spring.

One survivor becomes the ambassador of a momentous delivery.

And a long -standing alliance is thrown into question. If I think that he's in a

situation where he's about to screw me over and stab me in the back, I'll cut

his throat.

something that I will never, ever be able to describe in enough detail to get

anybody who wasn't here any idea of what it was actually like to be out here.

I've gained some courage and gained some inner strength, and I'm very, very

thankful for that. It's been something that will probably have changed me for

the good, I hope.