Original subtitles

I am, I said.

I am, I cried. I am... an

entertainer.

When I'm not doing engine work or oil changes, I'm the lead guitar with the

night specials of the Red Dragon Lounge. The band ain't great, but they serve

free hot dogs on Wednesday nights, so there's that.

I am the only honky in an all -black band called the Esquires.

I hold my own.

So far, they haven't given me the hook like at the Apollo.

I got a karaoke machine I use for solo gigs.

I sing all types.

I got Mellencamp, Elvis, Bon Jovi, and oh, for these occasions, I have created

persona. It's like a superhero of rock and roll.

I mean, I got no cape or nothing. I got no mask, but I got a bolt.

You know why I got a lightning bolt?

Because they call me lightning.

Oh, yeah.

Lightning is a star.

Lightning is a rocking god.

Like Chuck Berry, Barry Manilow, and the Beatles all rolled into one. Oh, yeah.

He's singing the songs people love to hear. The songs that people need.

The songs that I need.

Songs that I need to keep going.

When the song is over and the applause stops, I'm not like me

anymore. I'm just another drunk.

Hello, my name is Mike, and I'm an alcoholic.

Hi, Mike.

And I'm happy to be here because today's a special day. It's my sober

birthday.

20 years off the bottle and counting.

Thank you.

All right.

But I got a tradition on my sober birthday.

I sing the same song by a great man, a man whose songs have got me through some

sad times, some rock bottoms, and today I get to sing one of his songs for you.

This is not a sad song.

A sad song to sing when you're alone.

In a way, it's a glad song, yeah.

A glad song, a simple song that simply seems to make you feel good when you

sing along.

Song, song, blue, everybody knows one. You know the words. Come on.

Song, song, blue, every garden grows one.

Me and you are subject to.

Me and you are subject to the blues now and then.

But when you take the blues and make a song, you sing them out again.

You sing them out again.

Song, song, blue weeping like the willow.

Song, song, blue weeping on my pillow.

Funny thing, but you can't sing with a crying...

And before you know it, get to feeling good.

You simply got no choice.

All of my love, all of my kissing. You don't know what you've been missing, oh

boy. When you're with me, oh boy.

The world can see that you, a woman, hold me.

God's a pair in the shadows falling. You can hear my...

Who are you supposed to be?

Oh, hey, Earl. I thought you were bored on a cruise or something.

Yeah, well, I thought you were going to be Don Ho, thinking tiny bubbles. Yeah,

I'm not going to do that. I'm going to go on as a lightning. You can't go out

there like that. You look too much like Elvis.

He had the toe in denim like he wore in 68 Comeback. He wore black leather in 68

Comeback, not denim. During the Guitar Man medley, he wore denim.

Oh, and he even got a lightning bolt. I'm lightning. I can't wear a bolt.

Elvis' logo.

You're taking care of business in a flash. That's me. That's my handle. Oh,

own that, do you? I am the one and only Elvis impersonator in all Milwaukee.

Thanks for showing we got too many Elvis impersonators and not one Little

Richard. Say it loud.

Where's the Hawaiian shirt? You're singing Tiny Bubbles. I don't want to

Tiny Bubbles. I'm going to sing Eye of the Tiger, and then I'll close out with

Suspicious Mind. Over my dead body does he sing Suspicious Mind.

Earl, calm down. Mike, we're impersonators here. That's why the State

booked us for the blue -haired crowd.

I don't look like Don Ho. I'm not Hawaiian.

It's dumb.

That's why Carl Kahananui was doing it, but his gallbladder ruptured. You agreed

to fill in and do me a favor.

So you're saying no lightning, it's Don Ho or a no -go? Yeah, Mike.

That's what I'm saying.

Then it's a no -go.

Claire, you're up next.

Babs, instead of don't rain on my parade, do people who need people.

The Blue Hairs are losing their slow dance song since Tiny Bubbles is out.

I'll manage, I guess.

Thanks, Mike.

Sex Machine, you close it out. I'll go tell the band.

You're supposed to be Loretta Lynn.

Oh, oh, Patsy Cline.

I sing her songs all the time. I don't usually dress like this, but any chance

to sing, you know? I just can't be Don Ho on my birthday.

Oh, happy birthday.

It's not really my birthday.

Okay. You know, you could be Frank Sinatra.

Maybe sing Luck Be a Lady. I like Frank, but the whole crooner vibe, I don't

know. I like to move. I like to rock.

Yeah.

Elvis. Oh,

you know who you would be perfect for?

Neil Diamond.

Oh, no.

Never. Oh, I hold that man in such high regard.

No, no, no, no. Sweet Caroline.

Yeah. I know, I know, I know. Listen, he's got other songs, too.

Okay, and if it ever got back to him that I was goofing on his music or my

over there, I'd kill myself, not Neil. You know how much he got paid for that

cruise?

20 ,000 bucks.

That pose will pull them 20 Gs.

Nostalgia pays.

Oh, God, I'm burning up in this wig.

If my boobs were just a bit bigger, I could be Dolly.

You're a blonde?

Oh, boy, am I.

All right.

Put your hands together for Miss Patsy and the Greatest Hits.

I hope you sing as good as you look.

I go out walking After midnight Out in the moonlight

Just like we used to do, I'm always walking.

After midnight, searching for you.

Claire Stangle.

She sing country, rock, classical, like that Ave Maria joint?

She look all kind of good, don't she?

Yeah!

I'm mad like her.

After midnight, searching for you.

You could park a car in that gap.

I'll take a Cadillac. I got something much better for you.

Take a look at this.

Is that a lightning bolt?

Lightning for lightning.

So when I smile, it'll be like I'm advertising. That is smart, Dr. Dave.

why you're my manager, Dr. Dave. Always thinking.

I got a call from Walter over at First National.

First thing, he still wants you to perform at his Christmas party.

Great. Second thing, you're three months behind on your mortgage.

Can't he just take it out of my performance fee? Mike, it's not

can just sing away.

Maybe you should think about downsizing. I've got to keep my house.

When my daughter comes up, that's the one consistent thing that she's got.

Anyway, we shouldn't be talking about downsizing. We should be talking about

getting higher -paid gigs like a residency, something steady.

Why don't you talk to your buddy Holly, friend?

You know, he's got that gig over at the Shawano Casino. Ah, Mark's pissing me. I

quit the Legends gig the other night. What? Why'd you quit? Because he

let me be Lightning. You were supposed to be Don Ho. Why, I gotta be anybody

other than me. I should be enough.

Shit. Well, I guess there goes my $10 commission.

Do you need an oil change?

Come on, give me your car keys.

Oh, Cracklin' Rosey, get on board, get on board.

We're gonna ride till there ain't no more to go.

Takin' it slow, takin' it slow.

And Lord, don't you know, Lord, don't you know. I've made up time with a poor

man's lady.

Hitchin' under the twilight train.

Ain't nothing here that I care to take along.

Maybe a song.

Sing what I want.

Don't need to sleep with little man for a happy tune.

Oh, I love my rosy child.

You got the way to make me happy. You and me, we go in

style. Crackle and Rose, you're the store for one.

But you made me sing like a guitar.

So hang on to me, girl, my song keeps running.

You just go by Claire Stangle?

Well, I used to be Claire Cartwright, but then after the divorce, I switched

back to my maiden name, which is Stangle. So Claire Stangle. It's not the

exciting stage name.

I know, but it's not like I'm Claire or Madonna.

Oh, you're better than them bros.

Stop. You're so sweet. You are.

I'm a hairdresser part -time. I wash, I trim, no dye jobs.

By the way, I did change my hair up a little bit. I noticed. Did you notice?

also got a new tooth.

Oh, yeah.

Is that a lightning bolt? Yes. Oh, my God.

Because? Because you're lightning. I know. I know. I know all about you. My

girlfriends and I used to go to Hagerty's on Friday.

Hagerty's. And I remember you saying, ZZ Top, Sharp Dressed Man.

And at the chorus, you'd, like, push your pelvis out like Elvis. And we'd

like schoolgirls.

You're really good.

You know the other day when I said it was my birthday? Oh, yeah, the birthday

that wasn't your birthday.

What was that?

I'm an alcoholic.

Okay. Not anymore. I mean, I'm always going to be an alcoholic, but I've been

sober 20 years.

The other day was, well, they call it a sober birthday.

Happy, belated, sober birthday.

Here's the thing.

With sobriety, you've got to face up to certain truths. Way to go.

I mean, 20 years.

All right, I'm not a songwriter. I'm not a sex symbol. But I just want to

entertain people.

And I want to make a living.

I know, me too. I don't want to be a hairdresser. I want to sing. I want to

dance. I want a house. I want a garden. I want a cat.

So here's what I'm thinking.

I need a hook. I need something big. I need something new.

And as you put it, nostalgia pays.

Miss Fine, you're old enough to be my sister.

Hi. Hey, Mom.

Was the guy wacko? Dana, this is Mike. Mike Perdina.

As you were.

Hi.

So feel free to make yourself any non -alcoholic beverage.

I'm going to make a pot of coffee. You like it black or sweet?

I don't drink coffee.

Want to start?

Hey, is Grandma down?

Like hours ago. Oh, great. You didn't bring him home, did you? He's shiny.

He's here. I'm sweating like a whore in church. Oh.

The building manager came by.

You know, we got a two -week extension, but it's another $50. Rachel, don't

worry about it, okay? I'm going to take care of that.

I'm going to wear these.

Those are my shoes. Honey, he was so cute.

What are you... He was so cute on that stage with the Esquire, and he was

smiling at me, and then he went for a walk, and it was just magic. And I know

you see magic all the time because you're young, but I don't. And so it was

beautiful.

Magic doesn't happen for me all the time. Rachel, I want you to go introduce

yourself to him.

Okay? I want you to do that.

I'm not doing that. Rachel, don't be a sourpuss. You're going to go outside,

I want you to say hello to him.

No, no, no, we're not doing that. No, no, I'm not doing this right now.

I have to deal with your boyfriends all the time. They come into this house.

Yeah, the last one smelled like a skunk. He was clearly a dope dealer. No, he

was not.

We're going to go outside.

He's a zen guy, Mom. One second. Let's go.

Mike?

Mike. Hey, yeah.

Mike, this is my daughter, Rachel.

Oh, hey.

How's it going?

Don't make a mess on the couch.

Rachel! What?

Hey, what do you think?

It's good.

Right? We just got to work your hair a little differently, and I got a guy for

that. All right.

Oh, and look at these outfits.

Come on.

Look at that.

It's like shimmering, you know? You know, my hair guy does clothes, too.

Awesome. You know, Neil...

It's special, and I just want everyone to get that feeling I get when I listen

to America and Forever Blue. Sweet Caroline.

Sweet Caroline, yeah, but I'm never going to be the real McCoy. I mean, I

really look like Neil. I don't even really sound like Neil. I've got to be

but it's got to be me, too.

Yeah, you don't want to be a Neil Diamond impersonator. You want to be a

Diamond interpreter.

I was looking for the right way to say it, and you just came right out and said

it. A Neil Diamond interpreter.

Yes. Oh, and you can sing some Patsy Cline songs like I want to do.

I mean, maybe while you're doing a costume change, but no, I don't want to

confuse people. I will back you up in keyboards and vocals, but this is about

Neil.

And this is about his fans, you know?

I can sing the Barbra Streisand part on You Don't Bring Me Flowers.

But we've got to get them on that feed and get them clapping. Look up Cherry

Cherry.

All right.

Ready? Two, three, and.

Baby loves me, yeah, yeah, she does.

You see my number line there?

I was thinking maybe.

Oh, yeah, I got it, I got it, I got it.

Baby loves me, yeah, yeah, she does.

All the girls on the side, yeah.

Yeah, she loves me, yeah, yeah, she does.

Nice.

Gonna show me that night, yeah.

Hey, she got the.

She got the way to groove me.

She got the way to move me. Here, baby.

She got the way to groove me.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Tell your mama, girl, we can't stay long.

We got things we got to catch up on.

You know, you know.

Excuse me.

Much too late for anyone to be singing that loud.

Ma, this is the man I was telling you about, Mike Sardina. This is Lightning.

How you doing tonight?

Not good.

Sing softer.

She's going to her retirement home.

I'd like to say that she's less grumpy in the day, but I'd be lying.

What's that? That's very pretty.

She said, sing softer.

I'm going softer.

She was morning and I was nighttime.

I one day woke up to find a lion

beside my bed.

I'll be safe.

Come take me.

For I've been lonely in need of someone.

As though I'd done someone wrong somewhere.

But I don't know where.

I don't know where.

Made me.

You are the sun, I am the moon. You are the words, I am the tune.

Play me.

Nice.

Song she sang to me. Song she brang to me.

Words that rang in me.

A rhyme that sprang from...

My ex -husband, he's a good guy.

And he really liked my singing and all.

But when I started trying to book gigs,

He just started making fun of it like it was a threat or something. I don't know

why he wanted to make me feel so small, but he sure did.

I got to say, with me and my ex, I was the one making her feel small.

Selfish, was angry, I was wrong.

But I'm here, you know, trying to be better.

I mean, aren't we all?

Another

grace

would save me.

You are the sun, I am the moon. You are the words, I am the tune,

baby.

You are the sun, I am the moon. You are the words, I am

the tune, baby.

And, uh, hey, I'm thinking, uh... Yeah?

I'm thinking we should call ourselves... Oh, like a tribute band name. Yeah. So

I'm thinking... Lightning and Thunder.

A Neil Diamond experience.

Lightning and Thunder? Yeah.

So you'd be Lightning and... I'd be Thunder.

Uh, yeah.

That is not very professional of me, but I've been wanting to do it.

Okay,

yeah.

Love like yours will surely come my way.

Hey, hey, hey.

Every day seems a little longer. Every way loves a little stronger.

Come what may, do you ever long for true love?

come my way I know I let you down

but just know that I am very is the word you said

contrary?

contrite he's very contrite there's always that one friend you can't

say no to even though they repeatedly crap on you I hope I'm that friend

Hey, Tom.

Okay, now, Tom is a good guy.

He's got all the connections to all the casinos and venues from Chicago to

Branson. Mike, meet Tom D 'Amato.

How are you, Mr. Sardino?

I'm huge.

You may not remember this, but I would sit at the bar at the Chubby Bear. Oh,

yeah. every Thursday night and watch you play with your first band, Positive

Trash. Yeah, we made some noise, but it was in tune. You were really good, Mike.

Really good band. Thank you.

Well, I was talking to your manager, and he said that you're going to do a Neil

Diamond show?

A Neil Diamond experience.

My partner, Claire, and I, we start rehearsing with costumes and everything

week. Costumes? Really? Wow, wow, wow. One day, I see us being backed by a big

orchestra, maybe even... a choir.

I tell you, I tell you, it's gonna, I mean, I know we gotta start small,

if I wanna play someplace like this, but one day.

But you've gotta make sure you play Sweet Caroline. No, we close with Sweet

Caroline, but we open with Sulemon.

Sulemon.

Sule, Sule, Sulemon.

Sule, Sule, Sulemon.

Sule, Sulemon.

Sule, Sule, Sulemon. A little bit of smoke.

Sulemo. Come on now. Sule. Sule.

Sulemo.

Sulemon. Sulemo. Sulemo. Okay.

Is that an African word?

Like Swahili? I think it might be Hebrew. Like Solomon. No, no. It's

It's a called celebration. The audience are our flock and we are the shepherd.

I just got some chills. Wow.

We're going to get that casino gig for you.

But it's going to take building a lot of momentum.

But, Mike, you have passion.

And all I ask, if you allow me to work in service of that

passion.

We'd love to have you on the team. Music to my ears, Mike. Thank you.

Welcome aboard. Thank you so much.

I have to roll right now, sorry.

But we will be in touch.

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you had a great time at the Shano Casino. The

Badger Bus will be leaving in ten minutes for the Pottawatomie Hotel and

See you later.

I don't know how long this rehearsal is going to take. I don't want anyone

asking me that. You really have to call him Lightning?

It's kind of weird.

Every time he comes to pick me up, he tries to connect with you, and you do

make it easy, Rach.

He's very nervous about you coming.

So to make you more comfortable, he invited his daughter.

What? And she's your age.

This is a play date?

You're older.

Oh, Jesus. Why does everything have to be so hard? What am I? I just want to

sing and be happy and feel loved. And I don't want everything to be such a big

deal.

Hey.

Wave. Wave to him. Hi.

Smile and wave at him.

Nice.

My dad bought this place. The runway wasn't finished.

And I get, like, ten planes a day.

Except Sundays.

So, do you split your time between your mom and your dad?

Um, not really.

No, I mean, my dad's cool.

But... No, I get it.

It's better for me to be full -time with my mom in Florida, but... Don't get me

wrong, my dad's great. He's just, uh... He's artistic.

Artistic.

Yeah, I... I know all about that.

Hey, Mike, can you open the garage? It's getting really hot in here.

I would.

Lady across the street was giving me the evil eye as we was unpacking the drums,

so maybe not.

Bomer. You still good with that barter situation we discussed with me playing

with the Esquires?

You'd be playing four free gigs just for all of us to do one show. Yeah, I

understand. It's just I, you know, can't pay you anything right now, that's all.

I came here for you, brother.

But your lady ain't wrong.

It's hot as Satan's balls. Open the door.

All right, maybe just a little bit.

What are you doing here?

Buddy Holly died at 22.

I'm 52, and I've been keeping that guy alive 30 years past his prime.

I don't even need these.

What I'm saying is, I'm here if you need me.

Thanks. I didn't bring an amp.

Yeah, we got you.

All right. Bye, Dad.

He was a tunnel rat in Vietnam.

They would send him into the tunnels underground where the enemy was hiding,

they had a booby trap, so sometimes he'd have to, like, crawl over

dead bodies.

So, yeah, he used to drink.

My mom, she can get depressed, so she's, like, on meds.

I try to keep up with it for her because she can get scattered, you know.

But, you know, most recovering alcoholics just trade one addiction for

and music's that for death.

Without music, you can get, um, what did you call it?

Scattered. Yeah.

Yeah.

I think we covered all our fucked up family history.

Most of it.

Might be a little more.

Maybe a little.

Hey, listen, I know we just met, too, but I have a joint.

You know, I love it on you.

I got a song been on my mind.

And the tune get me strong and the words don't rhyme.

No, I don't say much and I won't amend.

If you're singing at school, then I'm going to send you home.

I haven't known what's showing. I think you're growing.

You're all seeing.

Good Lord!

Let me hear that. Get me near that crunchy canola sweet.

You're drinking a chicanola's meat.

Sing it out.

All right.

I wouldn't go any shorter than this, though. No, I want it to ripple and wave

when the wind blows my shirt.

Wind in a bar, how?

Like a leaf blower.

Do you have one? Sure.

I know a man was out of touch.

Like a man.

Keepin' older.

You can see your dreams die a slow death.

Young people don't know how good they have it.

Not because they can touch their toes and screw all night.

They haven't learned that most things just don't work out.

Most times you just mess it up, so it's easier not to try.

We're all just looking for some hope.

But at my age, hope is hard.

Hope's not enough.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to

change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

There seems to be a bit of a miscommunication.

When I booked this gig a month ago, it was my understanding that there was a

motorhome convention in town.

Being that, that's what I was told.

No, I didn't. I did not say that. You said the Emerald Motorhome Convention. I

said Emerald Lion Motor Club Reunion.

And you said you had a classic rock band like ZZ Top or CCR. Neil Diamond, not

classic. Tom, Tom, Tom, I still don't see the problem.

You see, Mike, with these motorhome types, I think we're in the pocket, you

know, with these blinkers.

They love Neil Diamond. I don't know. Look at them. They got leather jeans.

Neil Diamond doesn't have jeans.

That's a lot of leather.

You ain't got nothing these hog squashes can dig.

Mike. Why don't we put Claire first?

I mean, look at her. She's pretty. She's nice.

Have her sing crazier. One of those Leonard Skinner songs.

They love Leonard Skinner. You know, I can't speak my way through Sweet Home

Alabama. No, no, no. We're not changing our show, all right? No. At least start

with Sweet Caroline.

Nobody here is going to appreciate the Arabic incantations of Salomon.

Suleiman. He could move up Kentucky Woman. Open with America.

America. I'm in charge of this band, and I'm telling you, we open with Suleiman.

Have you got the fans?

Yeah.

I got them.

Travelers of our nation's Emerald Highway, welcome to Tierney's Tavern.

I am Lightning, and this mission of beauty is thunder.

We bring greetings to the great city of Chicago, to the songs of the

incomparable, leather jacket -wearing entertainer Neil Diamond.

We are Lightning and Thunder!

What did you say?

Can you drop?

Because if you can't, one of us could.

No, I have to, Ricky. It's a liability insurance issue. You know, it's a

requirement.

Tom, put this in your nose.

This? Yeah, to hold it in there so the blood doesn't come out.

Tell Mike I'm sorry.

You'll be safe.

I had a whole plan for how tonight would go, and I just know myself.

Well, you made it very clear that you are in charge of this band and make

the decisions. So I guess if it was Adana...

Summer Tribute Band.

I'd be calling the shots, but... Now I know.

It's your show.

I mean, would it have killed you to open with Sweet Caroline?

There's more to Neil Diamond than Sweet Caroline.

He's got hundreds of songs.

And all anybody wants to hear is Sweet Caroline.

Bum, bum, bum. That's right.

That's what they want to hear. After the show, I was going to take you to this

fancy hotel with a big suite and an all -you -can -eat buffet, and I was going

to propose and... What?

Yeah, I got your ring and everything.

But if you're not into it, maybe we could still hit that buffet. They got a

there that does omelets and crepes.

Mmm.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

What? To you, to this, to everything.

Okay, wait, one thing. Anything.

We open with sweet Caroline. Agree?

I do.

I would like

to welcome you to this celebration of marriage.

Marriage is the promise between two people who love each other, who trust

love, who honor each other as individuals.

In that togetherness. And who wish to spend the rest of their lives together.

Keeping your thoughts solely onto him. As for as long as you may live.

I do.

I do. And the power inserted in me, I pronounce you

husband and wife.

Now jump back and kiss yourself.

and thunder a neil diamond tribute band the people of milwaukee can't seem to

get enough of i just love lightning and thunder they are my favorite you know

you're gonna see lightning and thunder in las vegas oh sweet caroline i think

that's my new favorite song

Number one.

Lightning. Really? Yeah.

You mean like a commercial?

I mean, we've done car shows before, but never a... Like a concert for jelly.

Hold on.

What's a Pearl Jam?

What about Pearl Jam? That's what I'm asking. This guy says he's with Pearl

Give me the phone.

Who the hell is this?

What's Pearl Jam?

It's a band, Mike. You know who Pearl Jam is?

Pearl Jam's a who?

Could you hold, please?

Yeah. So, um, I think I'm going to throw up right now.

Eddie Vedder. Eddie Vedder's on the phone right now.

Say something and not stupid.

Yeah, Lightning speaking.

Uh, let me check.

Are we doing anything on Friday? No!

Um, no, it sounds great.

Okay. See ya.

Wow.

I guess we're opening for Pearl Jam.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

We're opening the program.

Always wanted one of those Everly Brother Gibsons with the wraparound

Yeah. It's a beaut. Yeah.

Neil plays one of these, right? Mostly uses the Ovation acoustics, but... You

the tour?

Me and my wife here, we're... You're the Pearl Jam guy.

We talked on the phone. I'm Eddie.

Eddie, that's right.

Hey, thanks for this.

Eddie, I'm...

Just a little worried your crowd may not dig my kind of show. I don't get a lot

of mosh pits, you know?

There are no rules, man.

Tony Bennett's opening for the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Tony Bennett?

Besides, he doesn't like Neil Donovan, huh?

Are you, uh, are you playing Holly Holly tonight?

Uh, no, not for this crowd, but, uh... Hey.

I don't know if I asked you a favor, and you know one musician or another.

This is exciting.

This is it.

You know the words. Come on.

Give it up for Eddie Vedder!

Reverend Blue Jeans, babe.

And honey is sweet.

There ain't nothing next to baby's treat.

If you're part of me, I'd like to say we do okay.

Reverend Blue Jeans. I love you, Eddie. Eddie Miller.

I didn't fund this, Eddie.

I wanted to keep going.

audience they were just like, they were just like...

Fixing her boyfriend's car?

She's not fixing it. I know how to do it. She just wanted to show me.

Everybody on the block has flowers and bushes and then you look at this and we

have nothing. So I want flowers and color and beauty.

Look at... That.

Four shows a week at the Shano Casino. Two shows on Saturday.

Two shows on Saturday.

As seen with Pearl Jam.

We're in the big tent.

Hey, Bubba, how you doing?

How am I doing?

I'm huge.

All right.

Which way are you facing?

Over here?

Where do you want me?

In the corner?

Over here?

I think that's good. All right.

Are you going to put on some pants?

Nah, shoot me from the waist up.

All right, tell me when you're ready.

I'm ready when you are. All right, this is a pre -recorded message to be played

on July 28th.

Hello, my name is Mike, and I'm an alcoholic.

That's the part where you all say, hello, Mike. Hello, Mike.

Hello, very good.

Today is my 21st sober birthday.

And I won't be able to be there with you today because I'll be playing my new

gig at the Shano Casino. But I thought maybe, even though I can't be there, I

would sing you my song just to, well, just to let you all know how important

all are to me.

There's not a sad song, a sad song to sing when you're alone.

Oh, no.

In a way, it's a glad song, yeah.

A glad song, a simple song that simply seems to make you feel good when you

along.

That's her daughter.

What's going on?

What happened? A car rolled off.

Why? She was gardening.

And a car rolled off. Help!

What's going on?

Johnny, Johnny.

Get Dana to the waiting room. Take her.

Is she going to die?

You have to tell me. Is she going to die?

What's going on?

Listen to me. Who's that guy on the show you like?

The guy with the eyebrow.

George. What are you talking about? The guy from the ER.

Cooney, Cooney, listen to me. Listen to me.

Okay, so he's about to go down, and you and I are going to take care of it. No,

I need to... We're going to work on you more.

No, listen to me. I've got a jacked -up heart.

I've got a jacked -up heart. I've had it for a long time. I think I'm having a

heart attack. What?

You need to get a doctor. No, no, no, no. We're going to do it my way. It's

going to be okay.

Now, you listen to me. Listen to me.

Rachel, okay.

So, I am going to pass out.

When I do, you're going to jolt me back, just like George does.

No. Now, remember I showed you how to jump a car. It's just like that. I've

it before. You can do this.

You're going to hold that. You're going to put that one up here.

Put it in your right hand. You're going to put that down here.

All right? You can do this. Rachel, Rachel.

I can't do this. After you hear the... I can't do this. After you hear the...

After I hear the...

Oh, gosh.

Claire, what happened?

Come on, babe.

Hold tight.

Hold

tight.

It's only been three weeks since your accident. It's going to take time to

adjust.

Those motor skills can take control. I know. Especially in the middle of the

night. I know. I just don't want to dwell on it and get stuck. If I have to

adjustments, I just want to make them and move on. And that day will come. But

you need to allow yourself some time.

Please understand, Mr.

Sardina, this isn't something that needs to be paid in full today. The old guy

that lost control and then my wife had the car. His family isn't able to

the settlement money for another six months.

What am I supposed to do in the meantime? There's dismemberment

your wife can qualify for that should cover a sizable portion of the cost.

That's a different department, but I'd be happy to put you in touch with them.

And we still need to bill your insurance company.

Insurance? Miss, do you know any musicians?

We broke as a joke.

Me and Mike, we started singing.

We were really cooking.

And I could see it.

A way to pay my bills and be able to say, look at me, I made it.

Take one every three to four hours for the phantom pain.

It's Wednesday.

Your prosthetic therapy is in half an hour.

Okay? Yeah, I know. I don't think I can do that.

Okay, fine. If you're going to cancel again, how about you make the call?

Because they don't buy my lies, and I'm sick of doing it. You know what? Can you

just give me a minute? Mom, we've got to go. We've got to...

Drive there and get in the car and it's going to take a second. Rachel, please.

Just give me a minute.

All right, fine. Just hurry up.

Oh, give me a minute.

Rachel! God damn it! I...

Hey.

What happened to therapy?

Are you serious?

I mean, that was four hours ago. You know, I'm not... Come on, honey, grab

Here, come on.

We got screwed on the mashed potatoes. We got gravy to... No potatoes.

Anyway.

So, uh... Maybe we take a little road trip.

Down to Six Flags. Get some sunshine, you know?

A little adventure.

I'm gonna have a little extra money, seeing as I may have got a job.

Yeah. You guys remember Cliff? You know, sex machine? Does James Brown?

Because you might have some work me down to tie joint is need a host for

karaoke, but you thought I could fill in for So

you're gonna play Neil Diamond songs

No, I mean maybe a few but it's more of a hosting

thing and other people singing you karaoke You know, it's only temporary

So your mother and me can... Get back on our feet.

How are things going at home?

Not.

I know the band has other gigs, but maybe you and Claire can still use that

karaoke machine.

It's not about the instrumentation. She won't get up out of bed.

She's drunk, she's... Mind it.

Now, what does a duo do if one doesn't want to do what the other's doing?

I believe in you, Mike.

I always have.

Now open up here.

Do you see anything current?

Anything contemporary pop or just dad rock stuff?

Dad rock, like? She means like, you know, Skinner, Creedence, Steely Dan,

type of thing. Oh, yeah, I rock with those guys. Yeah, I mean, sorry, you

you don't want me to sing those songs? I'm not saying not to. I just want to

hear Aaliyah and Alanis every once in a while. Yeah, Monica, Mariah.

See, the thing is, I got more of a specified act, like Sex Machine here. I

past year I'm known for singing Neil Diamond music.

But he can sing any music.

Luther Vandross, Usher, Jodeci.

So, Raimon.

Sulaimon, you know Sulaimon?

Nobody knows Sulaimon. They only know Sweet Caroline.

America, Crackling Rosie, you sing Lainey?

Anytime.

You do know who Jodeci is, right?

Hmm.

You can do your Neil Diamond thing on Wednesday nights. Host karaoke Friday,

Saturday, and Sunday.

Boom.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

Name something that people shake before they use it.

Yes, sir.

Claire! As you were.

Oh, hey, Sister Ann.

Uh, no, this is Lightning, her husband.

Hi, my name's Mike.

Uh... Okay, yeah. No, sure, tomorrow.

No, we can be there.

Uh... All right, you have a good day, too.

Why didn't you pick up the phone?

Uh, it's Sister Ann. She, uh, she wants us to come up with some kind of parent

-teacher thing tomorrow for Dana.

All right, I gotta get ready to go out.

Where are you going?

Uh, I got my night gig at a tie joint.

Been doing it for weeks now, you space cadet.

Yeah.

See, the way you look at those girls in the crowd, you know.

How they look back at you, I'm not a fool.

You think I got old peace on the side because I'm so young and wealthy?

I used to think you were so cute the way you take the scarf and put it around

all those hussies and kiss them.

The scarf was a bit, you know that? Yeah, for Elvis, not for Neil Diamond.

just wanted to kiss him like...

I really wish these medications would make up their mind.

Are you going to be like Loopy and not give a shit? Or are you going to be

and paranoid? You know what? My mom was right about you. You're just a selfish

son of a bitch. So why don't you go find yourself a new girlfriend and give her

a new nickname?

You think you're the only one that's hurting?

Every day I think about the big audios. Every day.

But I'm here trying. I'm here.

You want to throw shit at me?

Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of being a king and then

became one?

Well, except for the names and a few other changes.

You talk about me, the story's the same one.

Lightning. It's my mother's birthday.

She died of lung cancer.

That's Anselme.

I talk to Rachel a lot.

Rachel says that you and Claire have been fighting a lot more.

So... Are you drinking?

No.

I'm wondering if the ride would be a little less bumpy if I fell off the

When was your last meeting? Angie, what are you doing?

You're my daughter. You're not my sponsor.

He tells me to move on. I'm the guy that looks like Neil. Why do you need

Claire? But they just don't get it.

I... I love her.

And I'm... I'm losing her.

Dad.

Would you just please go to a meeting?

Mike?

We dream of you.

Don't do this.

Mike, you're embarrassing me. I am not stopping. This is not your show. This is

your computer. This is embarrassing.

Mike, I would never do this to you. You're scaring everybody. No, no. And

going to get yourself hurt. Let's go. Mike, no. I am not going anywhere. Come

on. Come on.

Mom?

What are you doing? What are you all doing up here? It's okay.

What about the show? She's tired. Okay, we just... Mom, we just are trying to

help you, Mom. No, no.

No, this is my show. I'm up here.

I'm up here, Mike.

I'm not going to stop the show.

Come on, let's go.

Don't touch me.

You're not even supposed to be up here.

Baby. Come here, Mike.

Come here.

Baby, come here. Come here.

There's a 72 -hour observation period for all voluntary patients.

A mental health professional will assess her condition and determine the course

of treatment and length of stay.

And if you could just fill out the medication she's currently taking or

she'll need over the next three weeks.

I... I know I'm a... I'm a stranger to you. What I really

use... Rhinose.

It's for you to tell me I'm doing the right thing.

Her?

We're going to take really good care of her.

Make sure she gets what she needs, okay?

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't think we've been apart more than a day since we've been married.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Oh, holy night.

The stars are brightly shining.

It is the night of our dear Savior's birth.

I was wondering if I could speak to the manager or the guy who does the hiring.

My radiator is hissing.

I'm trying to get a job here. Yeah, well, I'm trying to get to my job. I

that I'm the only one that has one here.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

All right.

Here you go.

Here you go. Hold this.

Pour it in.

Oh, there's a leak.

It'll fix it. Do it.

It's got like little metal particles in it that heat up while the car is running

and it melts into the leak while it's closed.

Slow, slow, slow.

Yeah.

I get it.

There's people in this world that get new shit and then there's people like us

just catching up broken shit.

I know this has been hard for you.

Somewhere along the way I got put in charge of everyone's problems I worry

about.

My mother, I worry about Dana.

Every time you touch your chest, I worry about you.

I don't want you worrying. And trust me, this thing with your mother is going to

get better. I'm pregnant.

Oh.

Okay.

Uh... Uh, when?

Like... Four months ago.

Four months?

My God, how did we miss it? Because you're all crazy.

I mean, I'm huge. How can he not see?

They all put on some pounds. I just thought it was a family phase.

Is it the guy you were... No, that's over.

Can't be counted on.

And... I guess neither can I.

Okay.

So we got this thing in the Marines.

It's called a SMIAC.

All right? It stands for Situation, Mission, Execution, Administration, and

Command. It's a way to break down a problem real simple.

Okay.

So what's the situation?

I'm knocked out.

Okay. Okay. So what's the mission?

What do you want to do about it?

I want to give it to a couple that wants to have a baby.

Okay. So that's the mission.

Now you've got to execute. You've got to have the kid.

I already called the Adoption Information Center, and there's a

that could assist in medical bills and all that. Okay, so you already took care

of the A for administration.

That just leaves command. So who do you want to be in charge of all this, you

know, helping?

My mom.

Whenever Mike would run off to the meetings, I was always pretty

ugly about it.

Why can't you just deal with your problems without all the talking?

Mike can talk.

And I can talk too, and I talk a lot. Sometimes I talk so much I don't even

what I'm saying.

Half the time.

And the thoughts, they just like go around in my head.

Spin around all the time.

That's where the singing helped.

And something happened when I would sing Patsy Cline songs.

Disappear, you know?

In the music.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Disappear.

Yeah.

The accident took my leg, but I shouldn't have let it take my singing

That's mine.

Good night, Mom.

Good night, sweetheart.

Love you.

Okay, love you too.

Night, kiddo.

Love you.

Love you.

Night. Night.

I made a pot of coffee. You want some?

No, thank you.

You want to watch a show?

I don't know.

Unless you do.

When you go back to work.

Start back at the shop tomorrow.

Well, what about karaoke?

Claire, we just got home. I'm just asking a question. No, no, you're

ready to argue.

And, you know, I just don't know what's okay to say and not to say since you

went to that place. If you have any questions, I can answer them for you.

I didn't get a lobotomy.

Not yet.

Well... Well, I'm not doing the

karaoke thing, because, uh... I'm, uh... Well, I'm not doing lightning anymore.

That's over.

Lightning is, uh...

It's just nothing without you if you're not gonna be there with me I got I got I

got no song to sing I can I got nothing

I've been doing a lot of talking, you know, like you do at your meetings.

And I've been figuring things out in my head.

I think that the struggle with my prosthetic, I think it was more in my

than my leg.

I felt hurt and ugly.

Like I had all this anger inside of me and fear, and it just cracked.

The folks at the hospital, they talk about having an emotional catharsis.

like where you let everything go and just move forward.

I don't think I've had that yet because everything still feels very scary for

me, you know, walking and standing, singing.

But maybe if you're there with me.

Thank you all for coming out here tonight to Chantai.

We've got a great night here for you. And don't forget, we do karaoke night on

Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night. I've seen you here. It's a lot of

fun. And it's also the all -you -can -eat buffet Monday to Friday. But

I've got something special.

My name is Lightning.

This is my lovely wife, Thunder.

And tonight, we're going to sing for you.

Holly, holy.

Holly, holy dream.

Was it only you?

And she comes and I run.

Just like the wind, I'm falling.

Sing a song.

Sing a song of song.

Okay. No, let's keep going. Sure. One more block.

Yep.

I'm tied.

A man who can walk upright as a layman, he gonna...

Babe, babe, are you all right?

I don't know what happened.

I lost control.

I hope you're okay.

strike the same place twice.

Oh, it's okay.

I just... Look, all this music.

All this light.

And here's my accident.

And then, nothing.

I see, I see. What are you getting at? I want these boxes filled up again.

Bad things happen over and over. And I just want to sing and I want to shine.

Before another car runs into me. The cars are coming. Oh, God, it's like

aiming for me, Mike. Come on.

I am not afraid anymore.

I want to be Thunder again.

I know.

I know.

I've been a little out of it, and I'm a little rusty. But I'm here to be mom

again, and a wife and a partner.

So, you know, what have I missed these last few months? What do I need to know?

You want to tell her or me?

I thought love was only true and fairytale.

Well, for someone else, but not for me.

Love is out to get me.

Disappointment pondered on my dreams.

Then I saw her face.

Now I'm a believer.

Not a trace.

A doubt in my mind.

I'm in love.

And I'm a believer. I can leave her if I try.

We're here today joined by two local legends staging the comeback of their

careers. The universe sent two cars to kill me.

But I'm still standing, even if it's on one leg.

I'm in love.

And I'm a believer.

I couldn't leave her if I tried.

Yes.

I'm a believer.

Mike, Claire wants you to meet my friend Buddy Holmes. He's event coordinator

here. Thank you both for coming.

You've been getting a lot of press with your comeback.

Yeah, we never really left.

That's why I wanted to talk to you about playing here.

Are we going to open for Pearl Jam again?

No, you'd be the headliner. You'd be on a Wednesday night, three weeks from now.

That'll give us just enough time to get the word out, sell some tickets.

Sorry, you expect us to fill this place on a Wednesday? We'll make it work,

Mike. We'll make it work. We know what you mean to Milwaukee.

Dreaming is one thing, but... You know, we're not fools, buddy. Mike, don't you

know what's happening in three weeks on a Wednesday night?

What? What's happening?

Neil Diamond.

Neil Diamond. He's playing a sold -out show at the Wisconsin Center Arena. We

want to be the counter -programming to that event. Those who can't see Neil

Diamond, see the next best thing.

Could we just take a second? One moment.

I think you are.

I know I am.

We're going to need a choir.

Sex Machine is the choir director of this church.

Right, and timpani. You know, the big drums.

What would you need timpani for?

I'll get the timpani, Mike. I'll get the timpani. Especially because we're

opening with Suleiman.

Hey, so remember Rachel's going to pick us up? I think I want to go with Johnny

to get a head start on me. Are you nervous?

No, actually I'm not. But maybe I will right before the show. What about you?

I just hope people come by here.

Hey, Mike! Oh, hey.

I know the event coordinator at the Wisconsin Center.

He was at your wedding. You know, big guy and a big red beard. Good Lord,

you are going to meet Neil Diamond tonight. I was going to get to that.

Oh, my God.

What do you mean? What? He's going to meet the two of you at Lakefront Frozen

Custard after the show.

He's going to drop in with his bus.

He loves at Frozen Custard. What are you going to say to him, Dad?

Hopefully nothing dumb.

Oh, no, don't be silly. It's just two musicians after their show.

We're both sold out shows.

We're sold out? Sold out? Sold out. Sold out. Yeah, we sold out. Now

I'm nervous. This is a huge win for you. You earned this, Mike. You earned

it. I'm just so happy.

I love you.

Come here.

I'm so happy, too.

All right, get out of here. Go, go, go.

I'll see you there. I'm going to the ring soon. Okay.

Okay.

Mr.

Diamond.

Neil, can I call you Neil?

You know, there's a certain way that you sing touching. I mean, you must know

what I mean. Of course you know what I mean. It's you.

Touching me.

Touching you.

It's so good.

I mean, it's just a small thing, but like touching.

Yeah, no, no, we got that handled.

Hey, I'm going to meet Neil Diamond tonight.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

Wow.

Eddie Benjamin, now Neil Diamond.

You think you could hook me up with Christian Slater?

Papa?

I'm huge, baby.

Dad.

Oh,

I'm so glad you're here.

Grandma.

Hey, just to warn you, the seats we got reserved are right up front of me. Get

loud. I'm half deaf anyway, so I'll be fine.

Have a great show tonight, Mike.

Thanks. Five minutes.

Five minutes!

All right.

Give me kids.

Give me kids.

So, any last -minute words of advice or encouragement for my two girls?

Yeah, play Sweet Caroline, okay?

You two always know what to do.

Not afraid of the lift at all? Oh, no, I've just got to stand there.

Okay.

Hey, Claire.

I can't thank Neil because every thank you I got belongs to you, doll.

You're my August night, you're my September morn, you're my hard light,

you're my crackling rosy, you got me?

End stage.

How can there be no rain when all I see and hear is lightning and thunder?

Here comes the day.

Rise on the night.

It's time to become dead.

Let go.

To the.

Brothers and sisters, and the itty -bitty children, black and white, rich

poor, great and small.

All God's children sing hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

The Lord gave us two hands, one hand for the giver, one hand for the taken.

He ain't got what to eat, and when he is tired, and he ain't got no place to

sleep. So when his heart is aching, and he is full of pain, who's going to cry

with him, brothers? Who's going to cry with him? You take your hand, you put it

out to him, and you say to him, that's what it's there for.

Take my hand, sweet Lord.

Walk with me this day.

niece, Troy.

Oh, my God, you saw Bruce. I love him so much. Where was that? Where was that?

Alpine Valley Music Theater. You were a kid in grade school. But we played for,

like, two extra hours, and everyone was freaking out and dancing on the lawn.

That was good. That was good.

Me and Bruce. No, I got to say, and I don't mean any disrespect to Mr.

Eddie Vedder. Uh -oh. Be careful, Mom.

I think tonight we were just as big as Pearl Jam.

It's all in the crowd.

No, I got to say. Our fans are just as big and just as loud.

Oh.

Word must have got out, Papa.

Oh, my God!

It's hard.

I'm not good at writing speeches, but I guess I've never written

one, so it'll be perfect.

You two always know what to do.

Why did he say that? I feel like I don't know how to do anything.

Except that leaky car radiator.

Come here.

Maybe he wasn't wrong about us.

He wasn't.

You look nice.

Oh, thank you.

Sometimes I forget about your leg.

Yeah.

Me too, and then I take a step.

You don't have to sing today.

Somebody else can do it if it's too much for you. I know.

But it's something I have to do.

Not just for Mike.

Every time we would play a gig, everyone wants to hear Sweet Caroline.

And Mike would get so mad.

He believed there was so much more to Neil Diamond's music.

So many more songs.

And there was more to Mike than being lightning.

He was a soldier.

A father.

A friend.

He was the love of my life.

And really, I'm standing here because of him.

So, in his honor, I want to get myself together

and I'm going to sing a song.

A Neil Diamond song that's...

Not as well known as Sweet Caroline.

But, Mike, it's beautiful.

And I see

people gotta cry some

people gotta make it through

You got it? I got you. You sure?

I'm positive.

You positive?

I'm positive.

We got you.

I can see you. I can see you, too.

All right, we're rolling.

All right.

Hey, everybody, my name is Mike, and I'm an alcoholic.

Hello, Mike. Today is my 22nd sober birthday, but I can't be with you here

because...

Well, we're getting ready for our big comeback, Thunder and Me, and it's

exciting. And you know what? Before I sing, I just want to tell you something.

We're all here doing the best we can, right?

Very, very best.

And if we can just look out for each other and be strong and, above all, be

grateful, maybe we can just, I don't know, we can turn things around. We can

make the world a better place. What do you say?

Right?

Anyone.

This is not a sad song, a sad song to sing when you're alone.

No, no.

In a way, it's a glad song, yeah, a glad song, a

simple tune that simply seems to make you feel a little good when you're

Come on, sing along. I know it's early.

Song, song, ooh, everybody knows one.

Every garden grows one. Song, song, ooh, every garden grows

one. All right. I'm ready.

Me and you are subject to the booze now and then. All

clear.

When you take the blues and make a song, you sing them out again.

You sing them out again. I can hear you. Sounds real good. Come on now.

Song, song, blue, weeping like a willow.

Sleeping on my pillow.

Song, song, blue, sleeping on my pillow.

It's a funny thing.

Funny thing.

But you can't sing it with a cry in your voice.

Right? Before you know it, get to feeling good.

Beauty and color.

You simply got no choice.

Song, song.

Song,

song.

Thank you, and good night.

I got a song been on my mind And

the tune can be sung and the words all rhyme

Don't say much and I won't offend.

If you're singing at school, they're live on us and you're home.

Never knowing what you're showing.

Think you're crawling.