Original subtitles

You're so fucking cute. Thank you.

Really like what you've done here with the yard. Looks nice.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, I took that vacation time. They did the whole yard.

I like the artificial grass.

Yeah. How much that set you back?

Not much.

a square foot i think everything about less than 500 right now

you don't have to pay for a gardener just a pool boy yeah pool's doing real

good too yeah are we still cute together that's the

sun makes us shine true you know one of people at school they're just

jealous They're so cute.

You take it. You have a long time.

What else are we doing?

I don't know. Their phones.

Taking pictures. Whatever. Just kicking back and having a brewski. What do they

call it? A selfie?

Yeah.

They're just taking pictures of everything they do.

Imagine fucking doing that.

Get out of here.

Waste of time.

Yeah.

I mean, whatever happened to communication?

Two guys are sitting here having some brew and just talking about it. That's

what I'm talking about. They'd rather not talk to each other but be on the

and talk but not look at each other. I don't get it.

Really, they are friendly.

I will say that.

That's really friendly.

Is that wrong?

I don't get it. I mean, they've been right. Yeah.

What do they call them?

What's the first one?

M?

Mediums? No, that's somebody who predicted that, right? Yeah, that's

Oh,

we do look super adorable.

You're fast.

Thanks,

I'm working on it.

Millennium. I want to say Falcon, but that's wrong.

Oh, my God, look at the way the sun is hitting our skin.

Oh, we look like angels. Oh, my God.

I feel out of touch. Okay.

Girls?

No.

I'm sure Dad's going to fucking know.

You know, strangers are going to follow you. You keep posting that online.

Come on. Really? What are you doing?

Don't do that. No.

Look, you keep posting that stuff online.

That will only get you in trouble. You're going to get strangers following

You don't want that.

That's right. Out of my house.

You don't want strangers following you. Really? Come on. Use your head to think

about it. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, daddy.

Yeah, I don't want that in the house.

Hey,

you're going to get kidnapped.

And end up on a milk carton. On a milk carton. You don't want to be on a milk

box.

That's what happens when you get kidnapped in a milk box. Okay, you don't

that Okay, whatever oh my god

Get out of our business because they're afraid we become

lesbians as if being a lesbian is a bad thing

older than I remember.

I know.

Do you just want to go inside?

Yeah, kind of.

Yeah, fuck this.

We could probably sneak away while they're talking.

Yeah.

God, I'm so glad we decided to go outside.

We match in that.

And this bikini. I love the way hugs are curved.

Have you seen yours?

It's so cute.

This guy?

Yeah. I love his ass.

So jiggly too.

I couldn't help it. It's so jiggly that you just want to.

It's really hot.

You're really hot.

It turns me on when you compliment me like that.

You turn me on.

You can't already feel it.

No way.

Can you feel that through? Yes. Oh my god.

You make me extra wet.

Fuck,

I want to play with you.

I want to play with you.

Oh my god, every bit of you is fucking

falling. No, that's not true.

No?

Your pussy says otherwise.

It's really quiet and a little too quiet

You make my nipples so sensitive. Oh my god.

I like that.

I like you.

You know, I have something that would make you even wetter. Oh, what?

Just wait and see. Okay.

Double sided for both of us.

Double the pleasure.

I haven't even used this yet.

Oh, so we're going to try it for the first time together. Are you ready?

It's going to get nice. Damn.

Yay.

You play with this. I get rid of this.

God,

the back of your throat is fucking amazing.

Let me taste yours.

Oh my

god, I have an idea.

Here, let me get this off you.

Yes, yes, yes.

Are we going to do it like they do in the lesbian movies?

We have to.

I hear it goes deeper that way, too. Oh, my God. That's right.

After us?

Yes.

Oh, they're not even... No, they don't. Did you see them leave?

Uh... What do you think they're doing?

I don't know, but when it's too quiet, there's always something not good going

on. All right.

Time to be dads.

Let's go do it.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes. Your ass looks so amazing.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe you have this in your back the whole time. It's perfect.

No one's lost but you. Yeah.

No!

Sit up.

Sit. I hate you.

How? Why?

We're just giving you good advice.

The way you're going right now is wrong.

Why? Because we kiss girls.

No, it's wrong.

Boys kiss girls.

Girls kiss boys.

And that's how it is.

Don't throw this fun joke, jumbo lesbian witchery at us.

Lesbian's wrong.

It's just wrong.

Yeah. Do you want to be known on the internet as a lesbian?

Yes. Yeah. Power to us.

Power to the pussy daddy. I mean, honestly, why did I bring you to all

sports events?

Baseball game. Wrestling matches.

Football games.

Football games. Yeah.

On top of men fighting.

And now you're doing this.

Well, you just made me want more pussy, Daddy. I'm sorry.

Don't try to manipulate us with all this lesbian mumbo jumbo shit.

It is wrong.

There were never lesbians when we were younger.

No. What if they were?

Pretty sure they called them witches and burned them.

Bad names like this.

We were using a fake dick, Daddy.

I don't want to hear it. No.

I don't need to be hearing stuff like that. Use a real dick.

No fake.

Yeah, do it like your mom did.

Yeah.

No,

no, look, look. You would never be here today if it wasn't for mom and

us. You wouldn't be here, okay? You girls couldn't... Nothing.

Yeah, it's called dolls. Get it at the store. I know, you get to play with

dress them up and stuff like that.

No, it's called IVF, you know, and they take the sperm from someone and then

they put it in the vagina.

What's that? Yeah. Don't get a dick, Daddy.

Yeah. Well, it's called, I call that IDC, which stands for I don't care.

Yeah. Oh, he's trying to be cool now. Why is he IDC?

It just makes it worse. You look older when you do that. Honestly.

We're going to talk because we're annoyed at you.

Oh, Jesus.

Take that.

I can't believe they called. I know.

It's hilarious how uptight they are. I know. It's not fair. You should have

came. Oh, my God.

What are we going to do?

We can't let that happen. No.

What kind of dads would we be?

All the guys, we have lesbians for daughters.

Ah, I never hear that. Never.

And I posted all that stuff online so everybody could see it and like it.

I'm not, no.

They gotta learn a lesson.

They gotta know that being with a guy is the right thing.

The only thing.

We have to set an example.

to teach them what they're doing is wrong wrong wrong and being with yeah

yeah men yeah men um how do you want to do that

hey we said hey quiet i'm sorry but

you're so hilarious that i can't be quiet i'm gonna stuff their mouths

How wrong would it be?

If I'm stepping over boundaries here. I want to hear what you're going to say.

How wrong would it be?

I want to hear what you're going to say. Don't worry.

We man up and we show them what being with a man or

men is all about.

I mean, would you... I would...

My suggestion is if

I'll teach your daughter if you teach mine.

That's where I'm kind of going that way. Okay.

I mean, we have to stand our ground. We have to show them.

And you can't let it go on because if it doesn't go on, it'll just go on. No. We

have to stop it right now. Yeah. Okay.

Alright, we had a serious conversation and we both made an agreement

that the only way that you are going to learn that being a lesbian is wrong

It's not wrong.

Let it finish.

Is that we will show you that man -woman sex is

the only way to go.

That's a lie. It's better. What do you mean, show us?

Yeah, what do you mean, show us? What is your problem, Dad?

Like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Are you going to bring us some hookers?

No. No. I'm going to show you the old natural way. Damn right. Otherwise, I

could have sneaked you in, Mom.

There you go.

Look at it.

Look at it.

Look at it. This is what we're going to do.

It's for your own good that we, as fathers, teach you

the right way.

I hate you, Daddy.

Daddy, oh my God, I'm never going to get that inside my head.

You just...

You know?

I hate you.

I do.

We're trying to help you. We're teaching you a lesson. It's a lesson.

Just see.

Oh my god.

See? Don't.

Don't fall behind here.

Just go.

See?

I can suck the stick in front of you, Daddy.

You pervert.

Hey!

This is a learning lesson.

This is one that we hope that you will never forget.

Until we catch you the next time.

Amen.

We're going to show you different things that you're going to be missing if you

only stay with women.

You've got to do different things. You've got to touch on the ball.

Plenty of stuff. Plenty of stuff. You've got to keep an eye on it.

Anytime you can swallow, it's good.

Yeah, just take it home

It's just kind of laying under here. Yeah,

do the natural stuff.

I think we can do a little bit more for them.

I think we can do a little bit more.

Oh my God.

No, no, no. No, just hands off.

Here.

What?

Go. No.

Touch her real bad.

We have to take this into the other room, because if we do anything on this

couch, your mom is going to have his ass.

I don't care.

I either.

Make it.

Tommy,

Tommy, I'm sorry.

Vagina!

Don't touch her, don't touch her.

Yep. Yep.

We'll learn.

Yep. It feels just like that.

Little by little.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Oh, yes.

This is a good exercise too. Great cardio.

See what she's doing.

You can

kiss

and that's it

You just kissed nothing else.

Don't do that, that's cheating.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Yes, yes, yes.

Turn around.

Do the same thing, but face the other way.

Oh, fuck.

Everything was fine.

Hurry up. Right there.

Yes, yes. Okay.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh.

Oh.

Maybe this one's good.

I want you to do that just one last time, okay?

There, just one last time. You can't go cold turkey, just, yeah.

That's not good.

Yeah, that could be psychological damage.

Come on, Tommy.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Are you learning your lessons? Are you guys learning? Yes.

Let me see you.

You'll see. It was sweet from getting pregnant.

Come on over this way.

That's all we're going to do. Okay.

Yeah.

Good lesson, right?

We got a question.

One question.

Did you learn that you... Lesson. Lesson?

Girls...