Original subtitles

Yes.

Wednesday at seven.

Perfect.

I will see you there.

Good morning Good Lakes Cruises

The strangest thing, my vertigo started back up

when I got in the wrong car.

Yeah?

No, I'm not.

I just want to stop spinning, is all I'm looking for.

Well, you can see why I'm confused.

He said, "Put this in your rear."

I-- I didn't know he meant put it in your ear.

Yeah. Okay.

Bye-bye.

Susan.

Morning, Bruce.

Good morning, Pumpkin.

Do you want the good news or the great news?

-You didn't. -I did.

I convinced the Takadashi Group to meet with us on Wednesday.

Fantastic.

And don't forget, we have the rehearsal

at the restaurant tonight at 7:30.

And I brought you a coffee.

Look at you. You're fantastic.

One for me and one for Larry.

Oh, that one's actually mine.

-Mm. -Who's Larry?

Larry, come on in here.

Meet Susan. She got you some coffee.

Good morning, Good Lakes Cruises.

You brought this coffee for me?

Uh, yes. Yep.

Got that for you.

Larry, meet Susan. Susan, Larry.

Isn't she great?

Bruce, I didn't know we were hiring.

He's my surprise hire before I retire.

Susan has been our top associate for eight years.

She's going to be our new CEO.

What? Oh, wow.

Want you two to get close, but not in an intimate way.

I'll get as close as possible without--

without being intimate.

What do you think about that picture?

This is a great surprise. Look behind you.

Look at that picture with me and the cat.

Do you like that?

Aye, that's one of my favorites.

Always. It's been one of my favorites.

My God, you and that cat look exactly alike almost.

You're gonna like this guy.

Is the cat that big?

- No, Pumpkin's right there. - No. Can you see?

-She'll come out in a second. -Oh.

She'll warm up to you.

I'd take a bullet for that beautiful cat.

Pumpkin loves me, so...

Look at that face.

Look at the shayne punim on this one.

Look at you.

Thank you, Bruce.

Cheers.

- Oh! - Cheers.

How come you don't have any coffee?

Wow, wow, wow, wow.

This place. This place.

So how long have you been working in the travel industry?

Thirty-seven minutes.

Oh, a newbie.

Raisins. Oh, my God.

I love these. Supposedly, my dad does too.

Are they free?

Of course.

I love this place.

Yeah.

I love it.

Thank you for calling Good Lakes Cruises.

It's your one-stop shop...

So, did you apply to work here?

No. What happened was I got an anonymous email

from Good Lakes Cruises saying that if I got a job here,

I'd find what I was looking for.

So maybe I'll find my dad.

Am I a bad person--

-Sometimes. -Thank you, but let me finish.

If--if I don't invite the weird new guy

to Bruce's surprise retirement party tonight?

No.

Okay. Good.

Oh, my--

Hey, what's the ticket override code?

Nine-em-six-four-pound.

What an amazing coincidence.

Wait, why do you need it?

I want to meet Jake Jacobson.

Kitt Justice.

He bought tickets for Friday, but I want to change

his delivery option to in-office pickup

instead of mail order.

Okay, you can't just force a stranger

to come into the office.

Very weird, Patrick.

No, it's not.

I've always wanted to meet him, ever since I was a kid.

Well, it's still dishonest.

As dishonest as not inviting the new guy to Bruce's party?

Okay, did you meet that guy?

I need tonight to be chill, okay?

So I'm changing your ticket order back--

No! No, no, no, no. Don't, please.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I'll make you a deal.

Anything you ask, I won't say no.

I swear on my life.

Fine.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're welcome, welcome.

Everyone likes champagne, right?

-Yeah, I guess so. -Good.

A nice bottle of champs

will still make Larry feel welcome.

And it's good karma.

Surprise!

Hold on. Hold on, my vertigo.

Ooh!

Okay. Oh, there we go.

You're always there to make sure

- Bruce! Bruce! - Aw.

Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!

-Aw. Surprise. -Good job. Good job.

Cheers.

Let's get a selfie.

Okay. Hi.

Selfie meant something very different in the Navy.

-Oh, Bruce. -Oh, wow.

-Classic Bruce. -You'd be in your bunk bed...

Ohh.

Hey.

Where's your lady friend?

Debra was married.

Oh, no! That sucks. I'm sorry.

Six months down the drain.

It is what it is what it is.

-Get it, Carol. -Whoo!

That's not how that saying goes.

That's how Debra always said it.

I'm really good at this.

Oh!

This party's amazing.

I'm having the time of my life.

Yay! Aww.

I love you all. I love you, man.

-Love you, too. -Love you, Bruce.

-We're gonna miss you. -I'm gonna miss you.

I'm gonna miss you so much.

I'm gonna write you.

Maybe I shouldn't retire.

-Oh, my! -Just kidding.

A few more days.

I'll make you proud, Grandpa.

So splitting our revenue 80/20 with the Takadashi Group

will still allow us to have a profit margin of absolutely--

Why wasn't Larry at my party?

Oh. Um, he just seems a little off,

and I decided not to invite him.

Mm.

So tomorrow night, I think the Takadashi Group

is gonna counter with a 70/30 split.

I made a mistake.

Uh... you know, every hire can't be a home run.

I wouldn't sweat it, Bruce.

We'll figure it out.

No, Susan. Forty years ago,

I made a mistake when I had a one-night stand

with a cocktail waitress named Cheryl.

You know what a one-night stand is, right?

Yeah, Bruce, I'm familiar.

Good. Nine months later,

she called to claim I was the father of her child.

A little boy named Larry.

Oh.

Yeah.

So I hung up the phone, changed my number,

pretending the whole thing didn't happen.

I went into hibernation like a dwarf lemur.

But then a few months ago, I saw Cheryl's obituary,

and I realized it was time to reveal myself to Larry.

So I tracked him down

and reached out to him anonymously.

Well, you need to tell him, because he clearly doesn't know.

I know, but I've abandoned him his whole life.

I'm not sure when the right time is to tell him.

Unless when I tell him that he's going to be

the new CEO of Good Lakes.

What?

I'm going to make Larry the new CEO of Good Lakes.

You already told me I'm going to be

the new CEO of Good Lakes, so that-- that doesn't work.

I know, but your party last night changed my mind.

It was, as you kids say, dope as fuck.

I was having the time of my life,

but after four Mai Tais and three shrimp cocktails,

I realized I couldn't have any fun

without Larry being there.

So you decided to make him the CEO?

I mean that's the dumbest reason I've ever heard.

You don't even know he wants to be the CEO.

It's a great job.

Trust me, he's not going to turn it down.

I know it's a great job.

That's why I've wanted it for eight years.

I know, Susan.

No one deserves it more than you.

So give me the job.

Easy. Easy, breezy.

But my guilt of being an absent father

outweighs what you've done to be my best employee.

I hope you understand.

You're-- you're making a huge mistake.

You know, treating me like this

is gonna bring you bad karma.

CEO is my destiny.

Mine!

I'm your best employee!

I'm on your wall! Eight freaking times!

Calm down, Susan. Relax.

No, I won't relax.

There are more photos in this office of me

than there are of you.

Yeah, but under my picture, it says "CEO."

What the fuck?

Uh...

He fired you?

Yeah!

Wobbly prick gave me an hour to clean out my desk.

Oh.

Well, silver lining,

at least now you don't have to tell Larry

why you didn't invite him to the party.

Hate to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.

What are you guys talking about?

Nothing.

Why didn't you invite me to the party?

I just remembered I have a meeting, so...

Don't--don't leave yet, Preston.

It's Patrick.

Stupid Larry.

This is why people don't invite you

to social gatherings.

Larry, Larry.

It was Bruce.

Who didn't want you invited.

Bruce Waters didn't want me invited

to his own surprise party?

Our boss is so paranoid about his vertigo,

but he loves surprises, so he plans the party,

I host it, and he shows up "surprised."

Seems so weird. That seems so weird.

Well, I got really upset.

I-- I cracked his window.

And then he fired me because I fought f-for you.

You did that?

Uh-huh. I did that.

That's so crazy.

Yeah, so crazy.

I don't even believe you at all.

Every crazy story has a nugget of truth,

just like a Tootsie Pop.

If you keep tonguing it,

and you should keep tonguing it,

you will get to that sticky truth center.

So this is all Bruce Waters' fault.

-Yep. -Oh my god.

I mean, show him some manners.

Teach him a lesson.

Mm.

Teach him a lesson.

Bruce Waters made a mistake.

Teach him a lesson.

Exactly.

Wow.

I've never made best friends this fast before in my life.

-Best friends? -Best friends?

Yes, Susan, because you told me the truth.

And, Patrick, you're my other best friend

because you didn't stop her from telling me the truth.

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.

Larry, this is between you and Susan.

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.

Patrick, actions speak louder than words,

and the actions that you didn't take

spoke way louder than the words you didn't say.

Thank you both.

Oh. Uh, you guys want the door open or closed?

- Closed. - Closed.

What is wrong with you?

Nothing. I'm a genius.

Bruce is about to see what a maniac his son is,

and he's gonna be begging for me to come back.

Wait. Larry is Bruce's son?

Hey, buddy. You doing all right?

Oh, my God. Bruce is dead.

This is just day two.

I better buckle up for day three.

Larry, please tell me you didn't kill Bruce.

What? Me?

I-- I didn't kill Bruce.

You just walked in and this? Magic?

I just walked into his office to teach him a lesson,

like you told me to.

I didn't tell you to walk with gusto to--

-It's okay. -It's not okay.

This is not okay. Nothing about this is okay.

You did something.

I literally walked in there and he screamed and fell.

Through that cracked window, that crack that you made.

I'm not blaming you.

-Just saying. -Fuck.

Oh god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

No no, no, please. Don't be such a worrywart.

There was still plenty of time for Bruce to learn his lesson

as he fell from the window to the ground.

I'm sure of that.

One thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand. Yeah, yeah.

He had enough time.

Hey. Bruce Waters didn't invite me to the party,

and he fired you.

So...

he kind of got what he deserved.

As long as our best friend Patrick isn't a tattletale,

you can go back inside

and continue working at your desk.

And I can keep searching for my dad.

It's not like he's gonna just fall out of the sky.

Hey, at least no one else knows you cracked that window.

Here you go.

Hey, Susan?

Uh.

Can I have the rest of the day off to,

you know, like, really mourn and stuff?

I'm shook.

Why are you asking me, Gloria?

Well, now that our boss legit died,

I assumed you'd be taking over.

Wait, there's a ladybug on your shoulder.

Check it.

Oh, my God, that is totally good luck.

So can I have the rest of the day off?

Sure, Gloria.

Take the rest of the day.

Oh, my god, thank you.

You're a good boss.

-Susan Newmar? -Oh. Mm-hm.

Cody Powell.

Legal counsel for Good Lakes Cruises.

-Oh. -Oh, uh,

my condolences for your loss.

Thank you.

Because of recent events, company bylaws default me

to pick the next CEO ASAP.

Oh. Well, look no further.

-Here she is. -Oh.

Sorry, I've just, yeah, I've been working my way up.

I mean, looks like you practically grew up here, huh?

I sure did. Yeah.

Yeah, well, none of that matters anymore since I'm here.

Oh, I think it matters to the...

to the whole company.

Well, you know, sometimes what you think matters

doesn't really matter.

I think it matters.

To you, not to me, and I'm the one kind of here

picking next CEO, so...

Bruce was just this close to promoting me to CEO.

If Bruce was going to promote you,

I'm pretty sure I would have heard about that.

Did he mention anyone?

Look, Bruce kept me in the dark about a lot of things.

I mean, I understand now that it's because...

it's because he was in a very dark place himself.

Yeah.

I know it's a hard time.

If you need to use my lava lamp...

They're very healing.

Thank you. Thank you.

So you're back?

-Sshh. -Mmmm. Mmmm?

I'm back.

I guess Bruce never had a chance to...

Let anyone know.

Yeah.

So what do you do if someone has questions?

I'm not sure, but...

at least I have some time to get my story straight.

-Excuse me. -Huh?

Detective Kim Hammer.

Mind if I ask you a few questions?

Seven seconds.

Forensics found cracks in the window that were created

before Bruce Waters fell,

which means there is a pusher and a cracker.

I'm sorry, I'm not following.

Well, first someone cracked the window

and then someone pushed your boss through it.

You've really seen that before?

Franklin Heights, 2008.

A love triangle gone wrong.

A disgruntled landlord breaks into his lover's apartment

and cracks a window.

One hour later, in a heated debate,

the lover "accidentally" pushes her husband

into that cracked window.

The glass shatters.

The husband plummets to his death.

Clearly, the pusher was more guilty than the cracker.

Not according to the judge.

They both got 25 to life.

Twenty-five?

Whack.

What if Bruce was both the cracker and the pusher?

He had vertigo.

What if he stumbled so hard into the glass,

he cracked it and smashed through it?

It's not as crazy as it sounds,

because we had a surprise party for him last night,

and it was amazing,

but he got so startled that he almost fell over.

From a surprise!

Huh. Okay, then what might have triggered his vertigo?

Pumpkin.

Pumpkin?

Pumpkin is his cat, who's always in his office.

Can you put a cat in jail?

I'm sorry.

It's not funny.

Okay.

-Well, thank you. -Mm-hm.

If you think of anything else, then you call me.

Absolutely.

I'm an open book.

Hm.

One more question.

Mm-hm.

If you knew your boss had vertigo,

then why throw him a surprise party?

He really loves surprises.

I don't--I don't know.

It is what it is what it is.

My wife always butchers that saying too.

Vertigo killed Bruce?

Why didn't you just tell her Larry did it?

Why didn't you just tell her Larry did it?

Because if Larry finds out I'm the one that ratted him out,

I'll be the next one flying out that window.

Ain't gonna happen.

Well, if I told her,

I'd have to admit I got fired and I'm the cracker.

I'm sorry, the what?

I cracked Bruce's window.

If I hadn't done that,

he wouldn't have fallen out when Larry, you know,

which I basically convinced him to do.

Pumpkin?

What is he doing with that cat?

We have to stop Larry from hurting that cat.

Do you want to die?

Oh, this is all my fault.

I'm gonna suffer real bad karma for all this.

Susan, it has been a rough day,

but I doubt you'll suffer any bad karma.

Just calm down.

What? What?

Where's my car?

Ugh, my car got stolen.

Don't worry, ma'am. We'll find your car.

Thanks again, officer.

We need to get Larry fired.

No, you need to get Larry fired.

No, no, no. You owe me.

Whatever you need me to do,

the next thing you ask, I will not say no,

literally anything I swear on my life.

Touché.

Yeah.

Hey, hey. Save some for me.

I'm stressed, okay? Don't judge.

You know what? Hm.

What are you doing?

This is not a time to get high. Ugh.

If you're getting high, I'm getting high.

We are doing this together.

I'm not high. I don't do drugs.

You're doing them now, sweetie.

Oh, my god! Oh my god! I'm high.

Not yet, but you'll know when you are, believe me.

Oh.

Wait...

this could get someone in trouble.

This is so Watergate.

- What? - Watergate.

- Read a book. - Oh, I'm fine.

Just make yourself useful. Get some paper.

Are you sure we won't get caught?

Definitely. This place is so old

there are no cameras.

Good, because I can't go to jail.

My hands are too supple.

-Okay. -Heads up.

Found this

on Larry's desk.

Whoa.

What?

Whoa.

Oh. Oh.

They're having fun.

Hey, Susan.

What are you doing?

Nothing. Ew.

Thanks for telling me to teach him a lesson.

Great call.

Leave me alone.

Hey, didn't I fire you?

I deserve to be the CEO.

You deserve to be in jail because the cracker

is just as bad as the pusher.

I am a good person.

Then, why'd you bang my wife?

Larry Kitt Justice, help!

Watch this.

I'm gonna get my vengeance right now.

No.

He's about to get Doctor Malpractice.

Case closed, baby.

Case closed, baby.

Ah!

Oh, my god.

Looks like that doctor is gonna need a second opinion.

Wow.

- Kitt Justice. - Uh-huh.

Just, wow.

I know it's cheesy, but it's nostalgia.

Yeah, we all know. Wait.

Didn't this guy get arrested for grand theft auto?

Hey, that was just a rumor.

You want to see something cool?

- Yeah, please. - Let me hear you say,

"Yeah."

You could be a little more excited once you see this.

Mm.

What is it?

Limited edition gavel pipe.

Oh, I'm good.

Jake Jacobson is going to flip his lid when he sees this.

Oh, my God.

Wait a minute.

How-- how do you even know that it's the same guy?

It is not a common name.

Who else do you know named Jake Jacobson?

Like four or five.

You don't know anyone named Jake Jacobson as Kitt Justice.

Why are you still obsessed with this person?

He was the only consistent thing I had growing up.

He was on TV after school every afternoon at 4 p.m.

no matter which foster home I was in.

Okay.

I got a personal question for you.

What?

You think it's weird you live in Abraham Lincoln's log cabin?

No.

My grandpa and I have lived here forever.

Yeah, huh-huh.

Yeah, huh-huh.

Going sailing was our favorite thing to do.

Mm.

We had the best memories

just being out on the lake together.

He loved it there.

He moved here after the war,

and just like never wanted to leave.

Mm, a war hero.

I've always wanted to meet one.

Is he around?

Mm, stabbed me.

Yeah, he's...

I am so sorry.

I don't know he was right there behind that wall sleeping.

Sshh.

I'll keep my voice down.

You don't have to.

Hmm?

A heart made of gold.

His body went down, down, down.

Up, up his spirit.

Thanks, Carol, for that nice haiku.

And-- and I'll make sure all the gifts

for the orphans in the donation box

will be made in loving memory of Bruce Waters.

That is so kind, Carol.

Amen.

Larry's still a no-show.

Maybe he's already fired.

A word from Gloria.

Well, just give me a second to live stream.

Hey, bee-bees, it's your girl, Gloria,

and I'm here today to share some sad news about my boss.

Now you all knew him as the rando with the cane.

He died yesterday, and this is really sad for me

because I've never met anyone who has died before.

- Mm-hm. - So if you want tips

on how to look good during a sad situation,

I am hosting a live tutorial at 5:00.

Thanks, Gloria, for whatever that was.

And now, a moment of silence.

-Pumpkin? -Pumpkin?

Larry, your hat looks just like Pumpkin.

-Yes. -Cool.

-Holy shit. -Holy shit.

- Wow. - Wow.

Larry, that kind of dedication is promotion-worthy.

Whoa.

And that's good to know because I am promoting someone

to CEO on Friday.

But before that happens, someone's getting fired

for smoking a joint in the office.

- Shit. - Larry, come here.

Do you know the company policy on marijuana use?

No, but you must tell me.

We have a zero-tolerance policy,

so we're gonna drug test you...

Okay.

And everybody else here today...

Whoa.

To weed out who violated company policy.

Duncan is here.

Duncan's urine testing and more

to administer the tests.

Go Brewers!

So obviously this is an urgent matter,

and you will have 90 minutes to turn in your urine.

Otherwise, you're in trouble.

And will be fired.

Amy? Hi, yeah. It's Susan Newmar.

Uh-huh.

No, yeah, I-- I got you a couple Daq-A-Ritas

at Applebee's a few years ago.

Sure. Yeah.

Hey, do you still live in Franklin?

Cool, cool!

When's the last time you did drugs?

Hello?

Yes-- - Shit.

Service has been a blessing.

Amen.

Hey, listen, Pastor Carl, I'm just gonna jump right to it.

I need clean urine ASAP.

Can you help?

Hello?

Well, hallelujah to you.

My sources are dry.

Mine too.

Hey,

what if we switch our pee with someone else's pee

and kill two birds with one pee stone?

Hm.

Duncan.

Is that your name? Duncan?

Yes. Duncan.

Duncan. What a name.

-Thank you. -Wowee.

Um, hey,

any relation to the donut and coffee company?

Can I help you?

Yes, you sure can.

So okay, with lady parts,

how would I go ahead and pee in this?

Do I sit on it?

-You serious? -Mm-hm.

I would love a demonstration

because I'm really not understanding.

I'd love for you to show me.

You-- you just put-- you put the cup underneath you.

-Uh-huh. -Right?

-Is that--? -Yeah, oh, no.

Gosh, I've been doing it wrong for years.

-That's so funny. -Really, years?

Yes, I had no idea you went in from the back side.

Can you imagine?

-No, I can't actually. -What kind of biology class

did I get?

- I don't know. - That's--that's really weird.

How have you not been doing it right for years?

I don't know. Faulty education.

This is, um...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Can we just dance a minute?

No, I actually don't like the touching.

Dunc? Dunc?

Like a slam dunk, that's you.

Do you get this question a lot?

About...?

Catching pee in a cup?

No, it's first time.

Ooh.

Okay.

Are you a Scorpio?

I'm a Capricorn.

That works too.

Let's do this.

-Hurry up. -Oh, god.

Susan, Susan, Susan.

If you get any of Larry's hot piss on me,

I will kill you.

Don't worry, I got this.

-Hurry up. -Okay.

What are you guys doing?

- Nothing. - Nothing.

-God, ugh. -Yeah.

No one tells you that real fur is so itchy.

Oh!

Ah! Behind my back?!

My two best friends drinking beer

-without me? -No!

This isn't-- this is not beer.

This is not beer.

What is it then?

-This is... -Um...

Um...

Yellow.

It's yellow.

- Special blend. - Special blend of--

Of-- of-- of what?

-Kombucha. -Kombucha. Cool.

-Kombucha. -Kombucha.

-Yes. -Oh, I don't like kombucha.

Good.

I love kombucha.

-Oh, oh, oh. -Oh, no, please.

-No, no. -No, no, no, no.

-Please, Larry. -Give it to me.

- No. - Give it to me.

God damn it.

-Oh, my god. -Oh!

-Ooo, it's a little warm. -Mmm.

Must have been sitting out in the sun.

Larry, that's not for you.

- No. - But best friends share.

Well, too bad there's not a way to share this.

-Yeah, you just hand that back. -Oop, problem solved.

-Okay. -Here we go.

Just pour a little there.

Okay.

-There you go. -Mm-hm.

For you. Take it.

Take it with your hand.

With your hands, take it.

Come on, dude.

Is it just me, or does that smell a little like pee?

-No. -No, it's you.

-Yeah? -It's not.

Okay, just checking.

-Oh, Larry, please! -Oh, no, no, no, no.

-No, no, no, no! -Oh, god, geez!

What is it--

What is it about stuff that's supposed to be the best for you

that it always tastes a little like urine?

Mm.

Oh, god.

Yeah.

-Drink up. -Okay.

Come on, drink.

Drink, drink, drink.

All the way.

I've got to be able to see that you're drinking.

You're holding it to your cheek right now.

That's not your mouth.

Come on. It's not like we're drinking pee.

Mm, yum, yum, yum.

Ahh.

I just drank piss?

No, Larry. No, no, no, no.

This is, this is kombucha.

-Yes. -And it,

and we are gonna have it right now.

-Uh, we are? -Come on.

Tell me this kombucha doesn't taste like pee.

Got a little kick to it, doesn't it?

Tastes kind of salty.

Come on, let's get a picture.

Ah, best friends getting healthy in the closet together.

It's just like home school.

- Oh. - Except without the hand jobs.

- Larry! - Yeah?

Susan and I are in here

because we are in need of a bit of privacy,

so if you don't mind just exiting the room?

-Let's go. -Privacy?

Yes.

Oh, ho, ho.

Secret lovers.

My two best friends are dating?

-Yes. -Mm.

-Why didn't you tell me? -Oh.

-You freaks! -Oh, okay.

Okay, I'm gonna get out of here.

Oh, darn it. I just broke glass everywhere.

Now you can't make love on the ground.

No. It's fine, though.

-Let me clean it up for you. -No, no, no, no.

-Please come on. -Larry, just go. It's okay.

You don't have to worry about that.

Just leave it. Leave it.

-Larry, leave it. -I'll take that.

Would it be hotter if I watched?

-No! -No!

For you guys? No, for you guys, not for me.

-Not for us. -I won't be attracted to it.

-We're private. Thank you. -No, no.

Okay, okay. I'll be very quiet.

- Okay. - No, please go. Go.

Have a great afternoon.

Okay.

- Is that clean pee? - Yeah, and that's dirty.

-Yes. -Okay. Right.

Okay, make sure it's tight.

It's tight. Gotta go.

Now.

Just in the nick of time.

Oh.

Seems like the both of you may have had some challenges.

No challenges.

An easy time.

Not one challenge.

Actually, it was a breeze.

That part.

But you know what's not challenging?

Joining me for lunch.

My roommate's uncle works as a bartender at Applebee's.

He can hook us up with Daq-A-Ritas free.

So sorry about that.

I'm gay.

Noooo!

Just because you're gay means you can't have lunch with a guy?

Why wasn't the lid on tight enough?

It was tight to me.

I didn't go to pee school, okay?

I don't know. Maybe this is a sign,

like Larry isn't supposed to get fired.

Yeah, and let's wait for the universe

to give us another damn sign.

My car is on fire.

When the dealership called me about bringing my car in

because it was a matter of life or death,

I thought it was just a sales tactic.

Carol, this is just awful.

No, what's truly awful

is the gifts I had were destroyed too.

The orphans have been waiting for those for months.

Well, they can be re-donated,

and the kids will get new ones soon.

I wish that were true,

but their cancer has progressed so fast,

I don't think they'll live that long.

Jesus.

Right.

The children can open their gifts with Jesus,

in heaven.

I'm usually in my car at 12:30

but today I was late because of the drug test.

I am so lucky.

I-- I should play the Midwest lottery.

Ow.

Carol...

Uh, we need to make sure that guy gets into jail

before he tries to kill anyone else.

What are you guys talking about?

Nothing.

You guys want to hear a secret?

Carol was being a naughty girl.

What do you mean?

None of this makes any sense.

She tried to get me fired.

She left a joint on Cody's desk, and then she almost exploded.

Raisin?

No, thank you.

So you think Carol tried to get you fired?

Uh-huh.

There was a note on her stupid rose notepad.

When I confronted her about it, she played dumb.

-Raisin? -Oh, no, thanks.

I'm trying to quit.

You know, it's just crazy that Carol would do that...

and all by herself.

-Yeah. -Which is just--

What's crazy is that a three-time jar-sealing winner

of the Sheboygan County Fair had his pee container lid

fall off by itself.

-Huh? -Yeah.

Everyone's out to get me, except for you two.

I don't know. Maybe I should just move away from the city

and give up looking for my dad.

It's always good to have a new start.

That's it.

-You're right. -Yeah.

I'm so lucky to have both of you in my life.

I love you guys.

-Yeah, yeah. -Love you back.

Larry, life is about finding out where your feet belong.

Yeah. But you gotta get walkin'.

You're right.

My feet belong here.

I'm gonna teach a lesson to whoever tampered with my pee.

Thanks for the reverse psychology.

That was really good.

Larry, you don't know someone tampered with your pee.

Oh, I do. I know that.

You don't know that.

I know that.

The only thing I don't know is who,

but I'm gonna find out.

I'm gonna find out tonight.

What the hell does that mean?

I don't know, but, um,

it won't matter when he's in police custody.

Okay, just...

So you're claiming Larry rigged a bomb to a car?

Yes, and he killed our boss.

I thought vertigo killed your boss.

Well, things changed.

Here's evidence.

Oh.

What is that?

Larry turned Pumpkin into this hat

as an act of revenge.

See, he's a killer.

- You have to put Larry in jail. - Lock him up.

This was made in China.

That's impossible.

We saw Larry kidnap Pumpkin.

You guys are wasting my time.

We don't have evidence.

- Lock him up. - Just lock him up.

He's a danger to Carol and everyone.

I can't do that, but I'll get all the information I need

from the security cameras.

I've worked in this building for a long time,

and I know for a fact there are no cameras.

No cameras.

Really?

Elevator, stairwell, hallway,

and some of these are inside Good Lakes.

This was all installed two weeks ago.

Oh, my God. Bruce's office.

You can just watch the footage of Larry

pushing him out the window. I mean, that's even better.

I mean, focus on that,

and then you don't have to worry about anything else.

Well, unfortunately, we checked in there yesterday.

There was no cameras.

Oh, god.

Oh, shit. Is that the conference room?

Yes.

And all of this footage gets recorded

on this external hard drive, which...

huh, strange.

The hard drive that was here yesterday is missing.

Another officer must have taken it.

Or Larry took it.

Who now has access to everything

over the past two days.

And that's how he's gonna get his answer...

-Tonight. -Tonight.

You have to search Larry and you'll find that hard drive.

I can't search anyone without a warrant.

Can't you just do the search

and worry about the warrant later?

-Please. -Please, please, please.

Bend the rules.

Shorewood. 2012.

A Bible study gone wrong.

A priest is accused of stealing a member's ring.

After she begged me to bend the rules,

I searched a priest without a warrant.

Later that day,

that same woman found her ring in a Applebee's bathroom,

and I was put on a six-month probation.

Shouldn't you get that? I mean, maybe that's someone

who can help fast-track the warrant.

Yeah.

Nah, it's just my soon-to-be ex-wife.

She's just upset because I changed the locks on her.

Found out she was cheating on me.

Oh no...

If she needs a place to stay,

she can call the homewrecker who ruined our marriage.

That's awful.

You're damn right.

Bingo.

Mm.

I bet my life Larry's never gonna let that thing

out of his sight.

I should really stop saying things like that.

BRB.

Hi, I-- I would like to purchase a lottery ticket.

Susan! There you are.

Hi.

There is a meeting on the calendar tonight

with the Takadashi Group.

-Mm-hm. -Seven-thirty. Steak Michigan.

I want you to join us.

I set up that meeting,

and I already have planned a presentation,

so I will be there. I promise.

Well, good, because it's gonna be a great opportunity for me

to see if you are C...

EO material.

Ah. That took a long time. So...

Great. Chuckle factory. Okay.

Oh, hey, Jamal. I need to talk to you, bud.

What are you looking for?

Oh, gosh. Um...

I knew you'd change your mind.

The raisins always win.

Take it. They're free.

You told me that.

Yeah, eat some.

-In front of you? -Please.

You distract him.

I'll go get the hard drive in the backpack.

You distract him. Fine. Okay. Then you gotta enter the van--

I am not entering that man's car.

Hey, I don't have time to argue with you.

I have to make it to the Takadashi dinner tonight.

Oh, well, that sounds like a Susan problem.

That doesn't sound like a Patrick problem.

Do you want to be alive on Friday

to meet Jake Jacobson?

Larry, my guy.

What's going on, homie?

Oh, Larry, Larry, rhymes with Barry.

Likes to see the brother and Jerry.

That's my Larry. Oh, I love that.

I gotta have you over to my property for dinner

so you can sing more for me.

Oh, well, tonight, I can't.

I'm sorry, I'm busy.

Patrick, there's no apostrophe "t" in can.

Larry.

Oh, you can close the door with a button?

Can you also open the door with a button?

I can also hit the child-proof locks.

Oh, God.

Can't be too careful.

A couple months ago, a guy broke into my car.

It all worked out.

A day later, he tripped off a highway overpass.

Oh, that's horrible.

Yeah.

All right. Bye.

Shit.

Hey! What's going on in there?

I can see you.

I said, I can see you!

I can see you.

I can see you.

I can see you.

I can see you.

Let's get you up. Come on, Nana.

Let's get this on you, okay?

There we go.

Okay, you look good.

Let's get you going, okay?

There's someone else in this room with us right now.

Okay. Nana, Grampy was taken by the Lord years ago.

You know that.

It's just you and me in here, okay?

Check under the bed.

Okay. I'll check.

No one under the bed, okay?

Check behind the door.

Okay.

No one behind the door, Nana.

Check the closet.

No.

Check the closet.

No, I don't like your tone.

No. No.

Check the closet.

Okay.

Mwah! I love you.

See? Nobody in the closet.

You stay put. I'm gonna make dinner.

I love you, Nana.

I love you, Nana!

Tried to get away, did you?

Well, I will always find you,

and I will always devour you.

What's that?

You're sorry?

Well, I forgive you.

Stupid potato.

I never forgive.

Now is not the time to ghost me, Susan.

Ah.

Stop!

Neighborhood patrol.

Get down from that gate.

Uh, good evening, officer.

First of all, I would just like to say

this is not what it looks like.

Well, it seems like you're trying to break

into this home

or make sweet, delicious love to that gate.

Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.

Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.

Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.

I just want to get a look at this stunning property.

Oh, what a beautiful property.

I'll take it. Thank you.

-Sir. -Yes?

Don't make me use this mace.

Oh no, sir, that won't be necessary.

Hey! Hey!

Stop. Stop.

Larry!

Intruder! Intruder! Intruder!

Intruder! Intruder! Intruder!

What the hell are you doing?!

You're supposed to be waiting in the car.

It's been over 20 minutes.

Where is your shirt?

-I have been through the fire-- -Put your hands on the car!

-Put your hands on the car! -Okay, wait. No, no, wait.

This is a big misunderstanding.

-I will spray your face. -Okay, okay, okay.

This is perfect.

Less than a week on the job and I...

I struck gold, hm?

Milwaukee PD, hm?

They're gonna feel really stupid, eh,

when they find out that the guy that they fired

arrested two criminals, got them red-handed.

What are you guys doing here?

Do you know these two?

You kidding me, Gene?

Susan and Patrick are my best friends.

-Hey, Larry. -Larry.

Yeah, well. Your friends? They're up to some shady shit.

Oh yeah. Just this morning,

I caught them trying to open up a can of sex

in the supply closet at work.

You were trying to sneak across the gate so

the two of you could--

-Uh-huh. -Uh-huh.

Look, Patrick couldn't even wait.

He had to take his shirt off.

-So hot. -And so chiseled.

Take her to pound town.

-Yeah. -Uh-huh.

And then you would be like,

Oh, teach me something, big boy. Teach me.

-Uh-huh. -Yeah.

And then suddenly, mm-hm, you're coming.

And you're just like, "Put it on me.

Put it on me. I'm a bad one over here.

Teach me and then you kill me.

I'm a bad one."

I'm going to go.

I will never, ever be a cock blocker.

Please. We would love you to block our cocks.

-Yeah. -Please. Stay as you are.

Spank bank, initiated.

-Come back, come back! -Come back!

-Come back, come back! -No, just...

No, no.

Gene's so silly.

He took pictures of all of us.

You know, the police force let him go

when they found him masturbating during a raid.

You know, that explains so much.

Man, it's such a coincidence that you guys wound up

on my property trying to bone.

You must be starving.

I made a really special potato salad with raisins.

-Come on, come inside. -Oh.

I have that business dinner with Cody.

Yeah, yeah.

So I gotta get...

Wish we could.

Someone's on their way to being the new CEO.

Yeah.

I can't wait for you to boss me around.

Hey, Larry, get my lunch.

Larry, answer my phone.

"Larry, come watch me and Patrick have sex

-so you can learn about sex." -Uh-huh, yeah.

It'll definitely be just like that.

-Yeah. -Well, Patrick,

I guess you get another opportunity to sing for me.

-Come on. -Oh, I would love to,

but I also have to take Susan because her car was stolen.

So sorry, Larry, I'm on official business.

Fuck.

Okay.

What the hell?

-My hard drive. -Oh.

How did I not lock my backpack?

I must have really not screwed my head on straight

this morning.

Like mother, like son.

Well, it's too bad you guys aren't free.

It would've been really fun to watch the security footage.

Nice group activity.

Did you say you made potato salad?

Patrick, that shirt looks great on you.

Thanks.

We can't have you topless around Nana.

Her heart would explode...

if she senses your exposed nipples.

Well, pretty quiet dinner.

Are you two always this weird around the dinner table?

A couple weirdos.

I love how a raisin was just a grape abandoned in the sun,

but it's transformed into something sweeter.

Stronger. Indestructible.

Like me.

The intruder's back!

No, Nana.

These are just my work friends. Remember?

I put up a picture of them.

They like to have sex with each other.

Huh?

They have sex with each other.

This sweet woman raised me

after my mother was taken away to Clark County.

God, I ate so many raisins that day.

All right. Let's do this, you freaks.

Oh, why don't we just try to find something to watch on TV?

There's a Kitt Justice marathon on.

Kitt Justice? I remember that show.

-He's great. -Hm.

I was more of a Barry the bailiff guy myself.

Barry the bailiff?

That guy tried to kill Kitt Justice with a long sword.

He's a psychopath.

No, he was just misunderstood.

You know, something like this might make you angry,

and you don't want to be angry.

- No. - Why not?

What's wrong with being angry?

When my mom used to get angry,

I'd hide myself in a hole in the backyard

to keep myself safe.

I would just lay there for hours,

holding my breath and playing possum.

My mom's anger taught me I could survive anything.

See? Anger is a good thing.

Oh! There's me.

Larry, as your friend--

Best friend.

No good is gonna come from this.

The truth will come from this.

And the truth is always a good thing.

You don't need to watch any of this.

Just skip on through any of that.

Yeah, nothing happening.

We need to watch every second, Susan.

Oh.

Why are you two trying to keep me from the truth?

Someone is messing with me.

If someone tried to mess with one of you, my best friends,

I'd kill that person.

Patrick, would you kill for me?

Kill for you?

Yeah, you'd kill for me.

-Would you kill for me, Susan? -Uh...

Right, you would.

Oh, my god.

Susan is first basing with the pee guy.

Patrick, did you know about this?

Uh, yeah, Larry, I knew all about it.

-It's fine. -Yeah, it's fine. He's secure.

Wow.

You guys kept a really big secret from me.

Are you keeping any other secrets from me?

No.

I believe you. It's okay.

Now let's catch this fucker red-handed.

Oh! Man, whats wrong with you?

Oh! No, no, no.

Oh!

Oh. Nana.

Oh.

Oh, damn it.

Oh.

Sorry we didn't get to figure out

who tampered with your pee.

Yeah, next time, buddy.

Yeah.

Guys, this was so much fun.

-Was it? -What a joy!

-Oh, my goodness. -This was a blast.

You're a wonderful host. We gotta go.

-Love everything. -Yeah.

-Bye, Nana. -Bye, Nana.

-Okay. -Okay.

Oh, my god.

Come on. Let's go.

Come on.

Can I have a minute, please?

We were legit almost murdered in there.

I know, but we weren't.

And I don't know what's happening,

because it's almost 8:00, and if we leave now,

I can make it to the Takadashi dinner.

Maybe we should just give up--

-Oh, my g-- -while we're still alive.

No. We are this close, okay?

Drive.

I would have died a loser whose main life goal

was just to meet the star of a cheesy kids' show.

I'm pathetic.

Excuse me.

You are not a loser.

You are a hero, like Kitt Justice.

I'm nothing like Kitt Justice.

Are you kidding me?

You just saved us in there.

You knocked over that sippy cup like a hero.

I'm lucky to know a hero like you.

Yes, I am.

Now, I want you to repeat after me.

I'm a hero.

I'm a hero.

Okay.

I'm gonna need you to give me a little bit more here.

Juice it up.

I'm a hero.

Okay, now louder, and start the car.

I'm a hero.

Yeah.

-I'm a hero. -Yep.

I am a hero.

Yes, you are.

I'm a hero!

I'm not a loser,

and I'm gonna meet Kitt Justice on Friday.

-Whoo! -Whoo!

Susan.

Hey, I've been trying to call you.

I'm so sorry, Cody. My phone broke.

Everyone at the Takadashi Group

was so offended that you weren't there,

they refused to even talk about business at all.

Oh, no.

The deal fell through?

You might think so with the way you boned it,

but luckily, while we were waiting for you,

Carol thought to tell that story

about the orphan gifts getting destroyed in her car.

Who knew Mr. Takadashi was an orphan?

-What? -He was so moved at the table,

he signed the contract right there.

Ninety-ten revenue split.

Ninety-ten?

Thousands of tourists will exclusively use Good Lakes

to tour the Great Lakes.

Who knew I'd be responsible

for the biggest deal in Good Lakes history?

Well, soon everyone's going to know,

because on Friday, I'm announcing

that Carol's gonna be the new CEO of Good Lakes.

- Me? - You.

My god, me! Me?

-Susan, do you hear me? -What?

I said you should take a picture of this life-changing moment

for Carol.

You can put your arm around me if you want.

All right.

Sure.

If your dealership keeps calling you

about this very disturbing recall,

this is not just another sales tactic.

I'm a lawyer.

My name is Larry.

Mm.

Well, the doctor said that if he pulls out the nail,

I'll die.

But if we leave it in, I'll live.

So how does it feel to have a second chance at life?

Pretty good.

Celebrated with my brother, Larry.

Come on.

Larry, you don't have to do this.

You're a bailiff, not a killer.

Save me, Kitt Justice.

Case closed, baby.

Hiyah!

Good job, Kitt Justice,

but technically, you just committed a felony.

You're right, Judge Carlson.

Please. Court's not in session.

Just call me Larry.

The guilt is eating me alive,

and that's why I'm confessing to you.

I'm completely responsible.

Please leave everyone else out of it.

Sincerely, Larry.

No detective is ever gonna buy that.

We need to just let all this go.

Give that back.

If forging a confession won't work,

we're gonna have to record him saying it, okay?

So we'll just steer the conversation.

Susan, you need to let it go.

It's the only way we're gonna get rid of him.

Who are we getting rid of?

No one.

Oh, that's a shame.

Because just this morning,

I discovered that one of my car doors

wasn't double locked,

which means that Nana's theory about the intruder is true.

So now I believe Nana.

I believe women.

Larry, I don't trust this smell.

Nana, that's just Susan and Patrick.

Please forgive Nana for not remembering who you are.

Sleeping zaps her short-term memory,

which can be a blessing,

since one time I came out of the shower

and she reached for the remote, and...

I'll spare you the details.

Don't worry.

She grabbed my penis.

But the next morning at family photos,

she didn't remember a thing.

That's fortunate.

Yeah.

Hey, Larry, is it just a crazy coincidence

that all this bad stuff is happening in the office

this week?

Bruce Waters dying and Carol's car exploding

weren't coincidences.

Then what was it?

Karma.

Larry, have you ever--

killed anyone?

What?

Uh, is the sky pink?

Sometimes, when the sun is setting.

Larry, you had killed Bruce.

Susan, you told me to teach him a lesson,

so maybe you're feeling your own sense of guilt.

Larry, you killed Bruce!

Call the police.

Nana, come on.

Let's go downstairs and get you a cherry pop to cheer you up.

Someone's being a grumpy little Nana baby.

We're never gonna get a straight confession out of him.

We have to take care of Larry ourselves.

Are you crazy?

Larry is not Old Yeller.

You can't just take him out back and shoot him dead.

Why not?

We're the only ones that knew Larry was Bruce's son.

We planted the weed on his desk, we tampered with his pee, and

we broke into his house last night.

If Larry finds out any of that, he's gonna kill us.

I should've just invited Larry to the party.

I knew it.

Larry!

Ow-ow-ow. Ooh, Nana bites.

Okay. We just gotta hide her,

and then she'll forget everything she just heard.

Oh, and your plans have worked so well for us.

Damn it, Nana.

Nana.

Nana, is that you?

Hey, Larry.

Shut up!

-Okay. -Hey, bee-bees.

As you can see, my brows clearly have a mind of their own.

This lighting...

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god, we're trapped.

-What are we gonna do? -We leave her here.

No, we're not leaving her.

-Yes, we can leave her. -We can't leave her.

Yes, we can.

We have to find a place for her.

-Just leave her. -No, we're gonna go.

Drop the wheelchair, Susan!

You listen to me!

You listen to me!

You listen to me! You're being crazy.

Let me go.

You've lost your mind

but you're not taking me down with you.

Take your hands off me.

You have lost your mind and you're going down...

Larry!

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

That one.

You look ridiculous.

I am not here, I am not here.

-I am not here. -You are here.

Here you go.

-All right. -Hey, hey.

Just gotta get a firm grip on it like that,

aim, slowly squeeze the trigger.

Bang!

You shot your load.

Yeah, it seems as easy enough.

Excuse us.

-A word. -No, wait. Come on. No.

Hey. Excuse me.

It's either him or us.

Ugh, you're right.

Freeze!

Drop your weapons.

Okay. I--I know this looks bad,

but we're here to--

Hands in the air!

Respectfully, it's just us,

Patrick and Susan from Good Lakes Cruises--

-It's us. -your one-stop shop

for all your Great Lakes travel needs.

-Shut up. I know. -It's fine.

I've been following you two dipshits.

-Oh. -Oh.

You two are under arrest for the conspiracy

to commit murder.

Anything you say can and will be used be against you

in a court of law.

So, no. No, actually,

we're just here to defend ourselves,

because Larry is trying to kill us.

He's trying to kill us and we're just trying to help.

Yes, just like he killed our boss.

Yes.

-Really? -Really.

Two pumps of foundation.

See, Larry goes to the office, but he stays in this one spot.

No-- No, this is impossible.

There has to be something we're missing.

Your boss is startled and falls out the window

on his own.

Your original bullshit story wasn't actually bullshit.

Your boss was the cracker and the pusher.

Larry didn't kill Bruce Waters.

He watched the man die.

This trauma may have triggered some strange behavior,

but it doesn't make him a killer.

No, it doesn't mean he's innocent.

What about Carol's car?

A nearby apartment had security footage

from yesterday.

Proves without a doubt that Larry never touches the car.

See? Boom!

-Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. -No.

No.

The make and model of your coworker Carol's car,

it's been all over the news.

Huge, huge recall.

You mean he's actually innocent?

Larry's not a murderer or an arsonist,

and he didn't turn Pumpkin into a hat.

That hat didn't even look like a cat.

Larry actually returned Pumpkin

to the Waters family two days ago.

We're the bad guys.

I am the crazy one.

And I'm your homewrecker.

No.

The second I found out Debra was married,

I ended it.

I'm sorry.

I've been so focused on my job,

I didn't even realize my own wife

was cheating on me.

I'm such a bad detective.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

I mean, I got so wrapped up in work

I've like ruined my life.

I'm a horrible person.

Looks like we have something in common.

We're just two ambitious women

who care about their jobs.

I'm such a Capricorn.

I'm a Capricorn too.

Hm.

I see what Debra saw in you.

I definitely see what Debra saw in you.

-Your eyes are incredible. -Yours are these glowing...

orbs.

Goddamn.

You're like a fresh bar of soap.

You're like a redwood tree I want to climb.

You-- you make me want to just give to charities.

I would match you dollar for dollar on that charity.

What is happening here?

What's happening is

we're all going to get a second chance.

Everything's gonna be okay.

There you are.

Oh, my god.

-Oh, my god. -Oh, god.

Wow. She dropped quick.

Ow. Excuse me.

I almost didn't rescue you guys from getting arrested.

Larry, what the hell is wrong with you?

Um, you're welcome.

You're welcome.

Oh, god.

Okay, here we go.

Patrick, you grab her arms.

Susan, get her legs.

What are we doing?

We're going Applebee's for dinner.

I'm kidding. We're gonna bury a dead body.

Unless you guys really want to. We can go after.

The pee guy's roommate's uncle,

he can get us free Daq-A-Ritas.

Don't tell me you're gonna turn that down.

No, we're not going anywhere.

Not with you.

You guys, if we don't clean this mess up,

we're all going to jail,

and then Patrick's gonna get passed around

like Thanksgiving gravy.

Come on, best friends.

Chop, chop.

Don't make me pick up the sword and use the sword again.

Can't leave this laying around.

Someone could slip and fall on it.

This is some quality time. Huh?

Gotta remember this.

Just a couple friends burying a body.

That's bucket-list stuff.

The detective was a good person.

She didn't have to die.

My Nana didn't have to die.

She was a good person.

Larry, we're so, so sorry.

Sorry?

We didn't mean for Nana to die.

It was an accident.

You two killed Nana?

No, no, no, no.

That's not what we're saying. Calm down.

Larry, she rolled herself down the stairs.

I mean, technically, she killed herself.

Susan slapped me first.

Larry, Larry, we just had to get her somewhere

so she would fall asleep,

so she'd forget what she just heard.

What did she find out, Susan?

Oh!

This is all your fault.

Because you couldn't handle

not being invited to a stupid party.

I just wanted to know why Bruce didn't want me there.

Bruce did want you there.

I didn't.

I planted the joint.

I tampered with your pee.

I broke into your house to stop you

from watching the security footage.

Because I deserve to be CEO!

So you never were my friend.

Susan, hurry up. Shoot him!

Oh!

You shot my leg!

Oh, no.

Why did you leave me behind?

No. No.

I'm gonna kill you.

I'm gonna kill you, Dad.

I'm not your dad.

Bruce Waters was your dad.

What?

Case closed, baby.

Why didn't you tell me that Bruce Waters was my dad?

I didn't know he was your dad

when I didn't invite you to the party.

Why didn't you invite me to the party?

Why didn't you invite me to the party, Susan?

You think I'm crazy, huh?

I don't think you're crazy, Larry.

You don't?

I think you're fucking insane.

Patrick.

Oh, my god.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

You owe me.

Oh, god.

So what now?

We make sure this never gets back to us.

Ow. My arm! Jesus.

Okay, pop that in there.

Sorry. Hi.

- Hi. - Hi, thank you.

It's-- we're fine.

Yeah.

You all right, my man?

Hi.

You okay?

Jake Jacobson.

Oh, no. No, sorry.

You're losing a lot of blood.

Hey...

Case closed, baby.

Holy shit. What?

- Case closed, baby. - Oh my god.

You know what's funny? I have the same car.

I hope you don't mind coming into the office

to pick up your tickets. It couldn't be avoided.

Yeah. I think you got me confused

with another Jake Jacobson.

Mm-mm.

It's a common name, you know.

Tickets for what?

First class cruise on Lake Michigan.

Oh, that's-- yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah.

This is my car.

This is me.

This is my grandpa.

Would you stop harassing this man?

- No. - Hey, Jake.

Can I get a selfie with you?

Yeah, my man. Let's do a selfie real quick.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -All right.

I need you to lean out of the way.

Ow!

Yeah, this is your car.

We're fine. Everything's fine.

Okay? Everything's fine.

Everything's fine.

Okay.

Good job.

Okay. Okay.

Everything's fine.

We're doing really good.

We're doing actually really good here.

-Yes. -We're here.

We're here, and we're good.

-All right. -Okay.

Clean slate.

Clean slate.

See you later, Jake Jacobson.

I cannot keep living like this.

Maybe I was never meant to be a CEO.

Milwaukee PD, how may I direct your call?

I'd like to speak with a detective.

Hold, please.

We're doing the right thing.

Hey, everyone! She's here. She's here.

What the hell happened to you guys?

It's a long story.

But it's one you need to hear.

Great. Tell me later,

because you--

--are our next CEO!

Congratulations.

I get the corner piece with the flower.

Dibs on the other corner piece.

What about Carol?

Carol can go to hell.

I'm sorry, that was-- that was inappropriate.

Um, Carol...

Carol quit this morning.

Apparently, she won the Midwest lottery last night.

She won the what?

Guess that karma that she got from helping those kids

just keeps paying off.

But whatever.

Susan, you're next in line.

Yeah? Detective Merin here.

Hmmm.

You shouldn't have.

I didn't.

It was for Larry.

Oh. Right.

Mm-hm.

Come on, Susan. Please don't.

This is bad karma.

If karma were real,

don't you think we would have already

been stopped by now by something?

Huh.

It's okay. It's my office.

I guess you're right.

It is what it is what it is.

Cheers to the new CEO.

I want to talk about a raise.

Mmm.

I'm, serious.