Original subtitles

You're not weird if you don't fancy someone.

You just don't fancy them, and that's OK.

Yeah, but why would you want to be with someone who annoys you

half the time?

I wouldn't.

I had a daughter when I was 13.

She's with his family.

Hi, Mia.

I don't want to put any pressure on you.

Yeah? I just want you to know that I'm with you,

if this is ever what you want.

Kyle, what are you playing at?

I'm desperate.

It'll be two hours, max.

I can't do it. It's a joke.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You're new at this.

Mia had a great time. She can't wait to see you again.

Why is he lying? No.

Look, maybe it just didn't go as bad as you thought it did.

I am an internet sensation.

You're going to do make-up tutorials?

Do you think I'm rubbish at doing make-up?

Of course not, Portia. You look amazing.

I mean, I would love to look like you.

I guess I'm just going to have to find another way to become rich

and famous, aren't I? You can join my football team.

Become the next Chloe Kelly.

I didn't realise you were into footy.

Football, totally my vibe.

Yeah, that's nice. Thanks, coach.

Go on, Portia.

To think you were only dragged down here last week.

You've really come into your own.

Find that focus, you can do this.

Unlucky.

We'll work on it tomorrow, yeah?

Keep the focus.

Why do you always walk to school this way?

You keep making me late.

I'm not going to walk past tomorrow.

Fine.

Got some skills I should be working on anyway.

You, Portia Weaver, do not need to work on any skills.

Yeah. The Costa Blanca.

Nice. Sounds nice.

Actually, it's the Costa Brava, but...

I'm guessing it's just as nice.

Ooh, you know what? There are a few day trips/restaurants

I'd like to get booked ASAP.

It's just the early evening slots,

they tend to go, and I can't eat past 8.00pm, so...

Sorry, 8.00pm? Why?

Oh, all right, you know, just like to be organised.

Have you seen his lunchbox?

He's got designated snacks for each break.

Wow. Tiny little compartments.

10.00am, snack.

12.00pm, protein.

3.00pm... Come on, What? Yeah, yeah. I like routine. Shoot me.

That doesn't mean I just can't abandon it

and fly by the seat of me pants.

And the last thing was just a couple of staff absences.

Couple meaning two?

Couple meaning four?

What? There's a bug going around,

and we've still got the problem with the languages vacancy.

Right, so what are we doing?

Well, I've moved around a few timetables,

and the supply agency has come up trumps,

so an actual language teacher will be with you pronto.

Thank you, Wendy. That's great.

You were in early again. I thought you might have sorted it.

Well, this is fine for today,

but supply teachers don't work in the long term.

I know. A reliable, consistent teaching staff is everything.

We'll get on it.

Hey, stranger.

Hey.

Cute chat last night.

But did your phone die about 10.00 or something?

What?

You left me on read.

Not that I mind or anything. It's just casual, isn't it?

Yeah, it was my dad.

He's always telling me to turn my phone off.

Him and Ashton just pet my head all the time. They just don't get me.

Sorry, you don't need to know about all that.

It's all cool. Honestly, don't worry.

I'll see you in class, yeah?

Yeah.

Erm, let's just keep this on the down low for now, yeah?

You don't want to rub it in Izzy's face. I get it.

Totally cazh.

Yeah.

It is also way hotter that way.

Any chance we could meet at yours one time?

Really? With my mum and my gran there?

Maybe I'll have to swing by the football again after all.

And now the inclusion unit is open,

the reintegration of the new intake should be seamless.

Right, onto the vacancy problem.

Problems.

Yes. All sorted.

Ah, right. What, we being cloned?

LAUGHTER

More supply teachers? What?

The kids respond badly to the supply teachers.

There's no continuity.

They just play up.

Yeah, they have the best hour of their lives,

and then we've got to peel them back off the ceiling.

Well, as part of the SMT,

you'll know how hard these gaps are to fill.

Thank you, Joe.

Mrs Drake and I are well aware that this isn't perfect,

but they stick to our consistent teaching styles,

they handle the kids.

All supply staff are experienced teachers.

Really?

Absolutely.

But don't you worry your little heads about it.

Every supply you've ever seen in your life

will pale into insignificance.

I've got this covered.

Miss Haydock?

What happened to walking to school together?

Chill out.

You weren't with one of the boys, were you?

Can't help if my skills attract some male attention.

Pass.

Yes, the boys!

Yeah, but that's the point.

You've got good skills - why don't you build on that?

I am. And I will.

Don't be jel that I'm a good footballer, Shola.

Actually not.

It's not like I'm any good at school like you,

or guys falling at me feet.

But for once, I am getting a bit of attention,

so just let me be.

Just don't jump into anything too quickly, yeah?

SHE SIGHS Whatever.

Really? How many years ago was that?

I know what you're thinking.

She doesn't look old enough.

I can vouch for that.

She was my teacher.

Really? Yeah. Donte Charles.

Nope.

Rings a vague bell, but...

Well, you've probably seen a thousand kids since that ugly mug.

And substituting for ten years as well.

For me sins.

It's all right, though, you know, I mean,

mainly I get treated like a piece of poo on the bottom of

a year seven shoe, but no marking, no parents.

I couldn't teach full-time anyway, not with my delicate joints.

Oh, would you like me to...?

Oh! Thank you, Neil.

Any time.

Miss Haydock, I've got your timetable.

Oh. There you go.

A couple of Spanish classes.

Really?

Chivalry is not dead, Donte.

Yeah, and neither's Coral, Neil.

Oh, please!

You'll see it's quite rigid, but so is the curriculum,

so if you stick to that, the kids will respond.

They'll really appreciate the consistency.

Say the words, take the money. I know. Great.

I'm sure you've got lots of supply teachers who think they know

way better and want to get far too involved, but that is not me,

Mr Donovan.

I have never so much as put a beautifully pedicured toenail

out of line.

OK.

Neil?

BELL RINGS

You can work in pairs, but quietly, please.

Seriously, what is up with you today?

Nothing.

Well, before, you were all weird cos everyone fancies Shola.

And now you're, like, all odd and smiling.

I don't care who fancies Shola.

I might be seeing a new lad meself.

Who? Is he from your football thing?

I can't say.

Why? I just told him I wouldn't.

I wish I could, Ton, but...

I'm not bothered.

His trust is just really important to me right now.

Sounds like a massive red flag.

I don't want you thinking he's a bad person.

He's really not. I don't even know who it is.

Fine.

It's Ben.

Ben? As in Drake?

Sh!

You're seeing Ben Drake and he wants to keep it a secret?

Yes.

Why? Because he didn't keep Izzy a secret.

Exactly.

Did you see how that one ended?

And he really doesn't want to hurt Izzy's feelings, which is well cute.

So please don't tell anyone.

Sh.

Come on. It can't be that bad.

I'm going to die.

Really?

Of embarrassment.

Nah. Do you know what? You'll be fine.

Yeah. Chlamydia is well common, isn't it?

Well, have either of you had it?

Er...

Do you know what? We are going to sort this out together.

Yeah. But who have you gone with to get it off?

I fell for party boy, didn't I?

He knew how to have a good time, and,

well, he was actually quite sweet, till he wasn't, so...

It was Ben Drake.

It's not actually that sweet now.

OK, standard pass.

Remember, elbows tucked in, coming from the chest.

OK? Go on, Iz.

Dad! Got all this energy.

A proper little spring in your step.

Hey, listen, I don't know where this has all come from,

but just don't let it get in the way of your studies, OK?

What? No messaging your friends talking about course work all night

every night. That is studying. Yeah, yeah, course it is.

OK, let's switch players.

Well done, guys. Keep it going.

Come on. That's it.

Standard passes. Elbows tucked in.

BELL RINGS

You OK?

No, not really.

My lunchbox is missing.

Right, I've missed my 10.00am snack, and I can feel my blood sugar

dropping, and I'm not enjoying it at all.

You little...

Look, I'm sorry, OK? I'm sorry.

But... No.

Just wanted to prove a point

that you cannot fly by the seat of your pants.

And that doesn't mean that I don't love you,

but maybe let's try and be spontaneous.

Yeah? Break the cycle.

Spontaneous? Yeah.

Fine.

Really?

Oh, really. OK. Yeah.

All right.

Maybe we should get a takeaway or something for lunch.

Yeah? Takeaway? For lunch?

So now? OK. Yeah. Do it.

Make the call.

Yeah. Brr, brr.

Hello. Is that the takeaway?

Good. It's good. It's good.

Don't feel good, though.

I'll get maybe some fruit or something.

Thank you, Neil. Just pop that there.

If we can get it all plugged in...

You OK?

Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

Well, with Leone still being around.

Right.

Agnes Eccleston.

Here, Miss.

In Spanish, we say presente.

What? It means present.

Yeah, I figured that out, but we don't normally say that.

Well, just say what you're used to.

Aleena Quereshi.

Looks like she's not presente, Miss.

Where is she?

Do you also have Lois Taylor Brown and Stacy Neville in this class too?

Yep. Yes, right. Well, they'll be up to no good.

I'll go looking. Oh, don't worry.

It'll be fine. I know what girls are like.

Probably fixing their caballo.

Fixing their horse?

No, their hair.

Caballo.

It's hair. Cabello is hair.

Caballo is horse.

You don't speak Spanish, do you, Miss?

Actually, French is my preferred language.

Yeah, Miss Haydock has 50 years on all of you lot.

Well, not quite.

I'm sorry. What I meant was that we should respect her experience

and make her feel welcome.

Would help if she could speak Spanish, though.

Right, inclusion unit now.

Come on, sir. I didn't... You've done enough.

Bye.

Got to stick up for your new girlfriend, ain't you, sir?

Shut it.

OK, talk quietly amongst yourselves.

Thank you, Mr Guthrie.

I hope I didn't overstep.

No, no, no, no.

Just as Mr Donovan said, don't get too involved.

Just get through the day. Yes.

Right, well, TV is done, unless there's anything else you need.

You teach history, don't you?

I'm covering A-level later,

and I just wondered, could you draw me up a jazzy little lesson plan?

Absolutely.

Yeah. It's a fascinating syllabus, that one.

Your wife is one lucky woman.

Well, there is no wife.

But there is a lady and a baby, both of whom I love very much.

See you at break, Neil.

Yeah.

OK, let's crack on.

So here, maybe we put...

You've been sent here. What did you do?

Nothing. Like, literally nothing.

Well, you don't get kicked out of class for no reason, do you?

So...come on.

I got kicked out of class

like Mike got kicked out of his relationship with Mr Casey

for absolutely no reason.

Schuey. Mitchell.

You and Joe don't even suit each other.

At least him and Mike are well matched.

It won't be long till he's bored of you too.

I'm warning you.

Whatever.

PEOPLE SPEAKING SPANISH IN VIDEO

Listen to the pronunciation, please.

This is all part of the curriculum.

Yes? It's very important.

All you need to do is go to the doctor, get some...

Ah! Los tres amigos.

What?

Just sit down.

Guys, just stop talking about it, cos you're ruining my street cred.

It's your fault. No. It's not my fault.

You can't know from what people look like.

Girls, is there a problem?

No.

We can't tell you, Miss. It's boy stuff.

Come on. Spill. No.

Well, if there isn't a good enough medical reason for you

being late to my class, then I'm afraid...

She does have a medical reason. A very bad one.

Well, what? A baby? An STI?

No, I'm not stupid enough to get myself pregnant.

Oi!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean...

I mean, Mia's great. I didn't mean to...

Look, it's...

WHISPERS: ..chlamydia.

I've had it twice.

You just need to speak to the doctor, pop a few pills,

and then book yourself a girlie holiday while you lick your wounds.

Come on.

I thought all you Gen-Z-ers were all about owning your feelings.

Well, why don't we? What?

Book Ibiza. Just us girls, like we said.

Yeah. Something to look forward to. Really?

Yeah, we're booking it after this lesson.

Not even chlamydia is going to stop us.

Sh!

BELL RINGS

OK. Look, it's 11 minutes past 11.

But I do not care, right, because I bought us crisps,

some mini wafer chocolate bar thing,

and this, OK, that is a pasty.

Lunchbox? What lunchbox?

Well done.

Thank you.

Oh, I thought you'd be buzzing with that.

Erm...

..Schuey came to the inclusion unit,

and he was going off about me and you again.

What? I'm not bothered, but...

..it's not nice to hear.

Yeah. No, of course.

I'm sorry.

Anyway, pasty? That is a pasty.

Defo mine. Oh! OK.

A girls' trip? Why does Aleena need something to look forward to?

I don't get it. Shut up! Well, who is it?

Social Services.

Left me a voicemail asking me to call them back.

So? Well, they probably know I had Mia the other day.

They want to tell me off or something.

I know it went really bad.

Hey, look, you know, it wasn't that bad.

I'm practically a stranger to Mia.

They're probably going to tell me to never go near her again.

Just ring 'em. You won't know otherwise.

Hey.

Oh, hey.

Ben, can I have a word, please?

I mean, sure.

Do you want to go...? No, not really.

You know, when I went into this...thing with you,

I thought I could trust you.

And do you know how long it's been since I could trust anyone?

And then you've gone and done this to me.

Done what?

Did you know about his infection?

Or, actually, are you the one that gave it to him?

What? He's given me chlamydia, hasn't he?

You caught chlamydia cos you slept with him?

Well, keep me out of it, cos me and him were done ages ago.

At least I made him wear something.

So how many girls have you been with?

This is not the time or the place.

You're a joke.

LAUGHTER

All right, done.

Hiya. Oh, hi.

What is that?

Oh, it's for Miss Haydock.

You just done her lesson plan?

Yeah, well, she's covering history A-level this afternoon

whilst I'm in a meeting with the department over recruitment

and retention of staff.

You do realise how ridiculous that sounds. Does it?

So did you spend your break creating this?

Yeah, I really didn't mind.

But who does that help, you or her?

Aside from a glorified baby-sitter,

what exactly is the point of this supply teacher?

Mr Donovan?

Yeah. I'm seeing him.

Ooh! Very nice.

Oh, he's cute.

He's kind of like, mysterious, as well.

And do you know what, Steph? I've tried.

I've tried not to dip me pen in the office ink,

but it's harder than it looks.

Self discipline comes with age.

Ish.

So it wasn't just about hurting Izzy?

The real reason you didn't want to be seen with me.

And I thought you were being kind.

Yeah, I was, but I just didn't want Izzy or Aleena...

Sorry. What's this about me again?

And you being "kind"? Nothing.

Do you know how embarrassing it was before back there,

getting accused of spreading chlamydia in front of everyone?

And you couldn't even defend me.

I thought, after everything, you might at least still have a heart.

Same.

Sorry, hold on.

Her as well?

You're sleeping with everyone!

Wait. Hold on.

Why was I getting accused of starting this chlamydia stuff

when you're sleeping with her?

Oh, shut up, I don't have it.

Right. What's going on here?

Well, you clearly do.

You're chlamydia patient zero.

Right, that's enough from all of you.

What is all this talk about chlamydia today?

Who are you?

You lot just talk about everything, how hard it is to be a kid.

Oh, well, ain't it lucky you're well old, then?

Hey, Portia.

When was the last time these kids had any sex education?

Well, we cover it in PSHE, but, to be honest,

we only discuss it theoretically.

It's not like we can send them to the STI clinic,

or make them get tests or anything, so...

ROWDY SHOUTING

Right, stop!

Pack it in or you'll be in detention for a week.

Hello, Cheryl?

Hi. It's Steph Haydock here.

Yes! That Steph.

Listen, I wonder if I could ask you a favour.

BELL RINGS

I know I should be covering science, but chemistry is cancelled.

What? Feminism.

I may be paid to babysit these lessons,

but I want you to see me as the cool baby-sitter,

the one who is going to teach you all you need to know

about coming of age and having sex responsibly.

Oh, this is cringe on cringe.

STIs are no laughing matter.

Miss, please.

I saw you all at break, pointing fingers,

and that's all well and good, but chlamydia needs treating and fast.

It can make you infertile.

It can leave you with long term pelvic pain,

and, lads, swollen...you know what.

Now, condoms do not only prevent unwanted pregnancies,

they can also prevent unwanted infections.

If you are sexually active,

you should be wearing one and testing regularly.

So I am going to give you the opportunity to do just that

right here today.

No way. We're not all mad at it, you know?

I know you're not. I'm not assuming you are.

There is never any reason to feel pressured into having sex.

But for those who wish to, there will be tests,

completely voluntary and discreet.

This is a joke.

No. No, I'm out of here.

Yeah, it's not a joke. It's not remotely funny.

In fact, weren't you the one that all this speculation

was about at break?

Whatever.

Then it's your responsibility as a sexually active adult.

Trust me, if you ignore it, it'll only get worse.

OK, anyone else who doesn't want to take their sexual health

seriously, please feel free. Follow him.

I'll do one if she does one.

Prove who's clean.

As I said,

this is as much about education as it is about participation,

so thank you to all of you who stayed.

PHONE CHIMES

Right, just bear with me. I'll be back in a couple of ticks.

Talk amongst yourselves.

You OK?

So was it a slap on the wrist from social services, then, or what?

No. The complete opposite.

Kyle's parents aren't well.

He can't cope on his own full-time.

They've asked if I'll have shared custody of Mia officially.

That's amazing.

But I'm a complete stranger to her, Noel.

Just some random person. You saw what happened last time.

Yeah, but spending time with her officially,

you can find out more about her, build up a proper connection.

She's not just got some manual I can learn.

That bond, that mum bond, it takes years.

She's four, and she knows her mind.

She knows what she likes and what she don't like.

I can't make her love me. They're just setting me up to fail.

You're not being forced to have her. I sort of am,

cos if I don't agree to it, she goes into care.

Another family.

That's it. Chance gone.

Well...

..just have a serious think about what's right, yeah?

What if I ruin her life, Noel?

I can't just click my fingers and become a mum.

Ah. A lovely lady dropped those off for you.

Ooh! Great.

Yeah, Cheryl, she's a diamond.

Yeah. She looked really familiar.

I thought I'd seen her somewhere before.

Well, you probably have, love.

She runs a local sexual health clinic.

Anyway, just pop these on expenses.

OK.

Mr Swift, sorry to interrupt.

I need a word with Schuey.

Your boyfriend send you to tell me off, did he?

No, I wanted to tell you that I'm disappointed that you're here.

That's none of your business any more, so...

And to hear that your attitude has taken a backward step.

I thought you'd moved past all this.

You know, you were never a bad kid, Schuey.

Just bad circumstances? Well...

Never had a stable enough home?

Oh, I still don't have that, by the way. Right.

I know you're angry at me, and maybe you don't understand

why me and Mike couldn't be together. But we weren't happy.

And sometimes you have to break the cycle.

I needed something new, OK, to make me a better person.

But I never set out to hurt anyone,

and I know that I did, and for that, I am really sorry.

Can I get out of here, then?

No, you can wait till after lunch.

Cool.

Speaking of lunch, takeaway.

OK.

Your pick. OK.

You can either do them in the toilets down there

or take them home. It's up to you.

Mm, I'm not actually having sex yet, so...

Well, good for you.

I'm just saying that if you ever decide to,

then don't be scared of these, that's all.

Miss...do they hurt?

Absolutely not.

Listen, if I had a pound for every one I've had to do,

especially since I downloaded the dating apps...

Come on. I'll do one with you.

You are in a pickle.

I'm fine. Well, why don't you do one?

Eh? Be the bigger person.

Bigger than him, anyway.

Come on. You'll feel better if you do.

BELL RINGS

CHATTER

Ooh! Care to share, boys?

Not adult content, by any chance?

Listen, I'm all for you enjoying yourselves,

but the clue's in the name - adult, over 18.

And as you're not coming to my sexual health lessons,

then I'm just not sure you're mature enough.

I think we are.

Do you? And also, lads, you don't want to be learning

about how to pleasure a woman from those sites. They're unrealistic.

Looks pretty realistic to me.

What's your name?

Your name. Ben.

Ben what? Drake.

Ben Drake, as in...?

Yeah. Mrs Drake's grandson.

Right. Well, perhaps, Mr Drake, you want to think less about the ladies

on the internet and more about the girls you go to school with

and how you have treated them all.

Leading a woman on back in my day was a cliche,

but now it's just wrong.

Back a horse and stick with it.

And while you're there, wrap it up.

Excuse me, Miss Haydock.

What exactly is going on?

Ah, Mr Donovan. I just...

Ben.

I'm negative.

Thanks to Miss, I can prove I didn't give you chlamydia.

Must have picked it up elsewhere to give Aleena.

Chlamydia?

But I don't have it either.

Well, you don't know, Ben,

cos you're too busy looking at porn to get a test.

Can somebody explain to me, please?

Look, Mr Donovan, I know you told me not to get involved, but...

Oi, Portia. What's your results, then? You give it Ben?

She said it was private.

Right. Can everybody head inside, please? Including you, Miss Haydock.

Come on. You're positive. Own it.

Why don't you go inside?

You don't want to be stood out here getting shamed.

No, I'm not going inside. I need to get away from you and everyone.

Bye, patient zero.

OK, everybody, that is enough.

Allowing pupils to take chlamydia tests, in lesson time,

without parental consent.

Where exactly is that on your timetable?

And what sort of liberties are you taking with our pupils?

Telling Ben Drake to wrap it up.

It's part of his education.

Well, I don't think Mrs Drake is going to see it exactly that way.

BELL RINGS

The internet is great.

Phone.

But we need to know these equations in our brains for the exam.

My brain's not working today, Miss.

Are you searching for flights?

I so need this holiday - sunshine, the beach, clubs.

No boys, though.

I mean, I'm like, "Will I ever be able to trust a guy again?"

Girl time's going to be amazing.

Right. Concentrate, please, girls.

Don't come for her today, Miss.

Right. Stacey, get out.

What have I done?

You are clearly not taking this lesson seriously.

Oh, do you know what? Today can do one.

It's entirely inappropriate.

They're going to parties. They're watching porn.

No, not all of them.

And we don't pander to the minority, anyway.

And PSHE is there to cover those topics anyway.

Oh, what, some softy softy, wokey wokey chat where you're more

bothered about upsetting the kids or which parent's going to complain?

You really think you're the first person to question

this new way of doing things?

Trust me, I've been there, and it has its merits.

Stop trying to bring on the next revolution.

But they're not listening to you or PSHE.

They're getting all they need to know off the internet.

Yes, and that's why we limit the phone use in our schools.

I do know what I'm doing here, OK? This is not my first rodeo.

Do you, though?

Cos your grandson isn't exactly adhering to the phone policy, is he?

I beg your pardon.

I saw him this lunchtime, looking at porn, showing all his mates.

He's got no respect for women.

Did you or his mother not explain that to him?

I will not have my family spoken about like that.

Well, I'm sorry, but it's him that's sleeping with both Portia

and Aleena, refusing to wear a condom.

I mean, did safe sex never come up in one of your wokey, softy chats?

If you think you can sit here insulting my teaching

and my parenting, after everything that you have done today,

then you are far, far stupider than you look.

Miss Drake, all I have ever wanted is to be useful to this school,

but I can see half of these kids sleepwalking into toxic

relationships with huge self esteem issues.

And now you have a huge unemployment issue.

You will never work in this school again.

Well, I have two lessons left to teach,

so I won't be leaving and losing a day's pay.

Fine. You can sit in the staff room for this afternoon,

collect your time sheet, and then go. Fine. Sounds good. Good.

Thank you.

We need to find Portia Weaver now.

Right, if you've calmed down, you can come back in.

What's it like?

Having a kid.

Oh, yeah, I did hear that you were going through that. I'm sorry.

Social services want me to have shared custody of my little girl.

Officially.

But I can barely look after myself.

Well, that's not true.

And social services, they wouldn't even let you if they thought so.

I just feel, like, totally out of my depth.

I saw her last week and I could barely do two hours.

That's probably just nerves. But she's not a baby.

I don't have time to have nerves and learn it all.

She's four, and she's smart enough to know that I'm winging it,

and I'm failing badly. Right. First things first.

You need to stop beating yourself up.

Every mum wings it.

I've winged it for 20-odd years, constantly trying to

convince my daughter that I'm not actually a monster.

You know, in the end, you look at your kid,

and you finally think, "You know what? I did all right.

"I got away with it."

So it's basically feeling like a failure for two decades?

Pretty much, yeah. But then, after that,

it's like you've got this new best friend for life.

And you'll be like me, where you're still young enough to go out,

you know, and have fun.

Cos by the time my friends were having kids, I had my life back,

and she was the one picking me up from the pub on a Friday night.

Thanks, Miss.

Come on.

Oh, and I was always the hot young mum in the playground.

Sweet.

Sir, I thought we had a supply today.

You do, but she is otherwise engaged.

You could say that I am the supply's supply.

HE ALONE CHUCKLES

Anyhoo, I have prepared a lesson plan.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hi. Sorry, Mr Guthrie. Can I have a quick word with Schuey, please?

OK, what have I done wrong this time?

Look, I need to know, have you heard from Portia this afternoon?

No.

Why? Is she OK?

Erm...

..she had an altercation at lunchtime,

and she's not returned to her classes.

We'll keep you updated, OK? I'm sure she'll be OK.

Yeah. Yeah.

I have four minutes for an emergency loo break.

What is it? Portia never turned up to English.

She's not picking up her phone.

All the teachers are out looking for her. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What? I am worried about her.

What Izzy said, and your mate Ben, has clearly messed with her head.

All right, let's look for her, then. Wait, what?

No, I'm sure we can find Portia somewhere.

She's probably hiding in her new favourite football place.

I thought you only had four minutes.

Oh, you have an urgent hospital appointment.

Your mum forgot to ring, and you were in pain near the toilets.

You needed me there.

I can't use my medical condition.

And what about your bag?

I don't care. Come on. Let's go.

Hey, has anyone seen Portia Weaver on their travels?

No? Miss Haydock?

No. Is she missing?

Yeah. Oh, and call me Steph, by the way.

Sorry. Old habits.

Look, do you really not remember me?

Of course I do, you little scallywag.

When I told Jack I was coming back, he told me to look out for you.

Ah. How is Jack? Is he all right?

Mm, he's getting there, slowly.

Look, I'm sorry I blanked you.

It's just that going from school to school, I think it's better to just

remain anonymous, you know, keep me head down, get through the day.

Didn't work here, though, did it?

You could never be anonymous, Miss.

Never change, all right?

Thanks, Donte.

Calmed down?

What? Well, earlier.

Aleena was making accusations.

Portia was saying stuff.

I just wanted to let everyone know I didn't have chlamydia.

Defend myself. But clearly, I can't do anything right at the moment.

OK. I get that.

But Portia's gone missing.

And this mad fiery side, that's harder to understand.

Like, which is the real you?

Me. I'm the real me.

I'll be rude if I want to, so if you don't like it...

No, I don't, actually.

I think it's a lot.

Think we should just cool things.

Fine.

You think this is where Ben and Portia hooked up?

Oh, can we just stick to the task in hand, please?

You all right, mate?

Can a manager put a shout-out over the tannoy or something?

Our friend, we're looking for her.

Maybe we should just go back to school.

Look, we might get caught.

No. Look, we'll find Portia.

And then we can squeeze in a cheeky five-a-side.

Hiya. Can I help you?

Yes. Hi. We're looking for a friend. She's called Portia.

Apparently, she comes here a lot. We just don't know our way around.

Tonya?

Dad?

Portia.

Please, Miss, don't.

Don't worry. I'm not going to tell you off. You all right?

I was better this morning.

When you thought that creep Ben Drake liked you?

Don't confuse sex with love, Portia.

I don't want love.

Well, we all do, really, even if we don't think we do.

To feel love, to be admired, to, as you young ones say,

have your main character moment.

But, actually, you don't need it.

You're a good kid.

You've got something about you.

Without a lad, without top GCSE grades.

You're going to be fine.

Really? Yes.

Just keep telling yourself enough, and you'll believe it.

Do you know what always makes me feel just that little bit better?

Bit of slap, touch of lippy.

Chucked mine away.

Ben told me it was too sticky.

What?!

Come on.

Let's let the other teachers know where you are.

Hey, she's back.

I thought I told you.

You were missing someone.

Oh, Portia.

Take a seat, love.

I'm sorry if you were triggered by what Miss Haydock did today.

No. Miss Haydock was the only person who actually looked out for me.

Even if I didn't want to know, I needed to know I had chlamydia.

Oh, right.

Look, I'm aware of the accusations flying around about you, Aleena,

and my grandson.

I actually thought Ben liked me.

And I thought I made him feel good, too, but now, apparently,

I've given him chlamydia. I should have just told him

there was no way on earth it could have come from me.

Ben was the first person I've slept with.

Oh, Portia, none of this is great,

but is it not worth correcting these rumours?

Miss, I'll be fine.

I just need to go back to being me.

I don't need to be the best at anything or have a bloke.

I'm OK.

I will have to tell your foster parents.

Whatever.

Please take care of yourself, Portia.

Everything OK? Could you find out what lesson Ben is in, please?

Sure.

What, you own this place?

Yeah, and four others in the north-west.

I do a bit of coaching as well,

but it's mainly just overseeing how things are working.

I obviously would have dropped you a line, Ton,

knowing that you're nearby.

It's really cool.

Yeah, we're hoping to get some local school kids in, training, learning.

Future Lionesses are a priority, actually.

You fancy training?

This is mad.

So you're the coach Portia and Shola have been talking about?

I suppose Preston was always the sporty one, wasn't he?

Yeah.

Until he starved himself half dead, so, you know, he couldn't any more.

What? You know, stuff your fancy offers, and stuff your fancy place,

because I don't want anything from you.

It's a shock to her.

I probably should have rung rather than just

bumped into her like this after so long.

Why did you abandon your kid all those years ago?

All right! It's a bit harsh.

I'm protecting Ton, aren't I?

Well, their mum will tell you something different,

but I've always worked, travelled, owned businesses.

That's how I've got this today.

Well, it didn't suit family life.

Or the family life that Nicky wanted, anyway.

But I always missed the kids.

I'm not proud of how things worked out.

I'd treat them like kings if they'd let me in.

Just...tell her to ring me, yeah?

Chlamydia? But it's not just that, though, is it?

Porn. And in school.

You know it's illegal for under-18s like you to watch it, don't you?

Everyone watches porn, nan.

No, they don't, actually.

And they also don't have a clear disrespect for girls' feelings.

Create some sort of macho entitled impression of themselves.

Can we not do this here? Think they don't need to do an STI test.

Think they're somehow above all that.

You're not a bad lad, Ben, but this is not going in a good direction.

You know, I've already had this from the supply teacher. Good.

I'll speak to the girls later.

I am sorry.

And I'm sorry for embarrassing you, too.

Thank you.

Your mum and I will talk to you about that porn thing later.

OK.

Can I...? Yes.

Hi.

Hi.

I know I've messed up, and I need to be honest.

Well, I should have been honest from the start, really.

I've really liked spending time with you.

But I've hurt people.

And I'm just continuing to hurt people by leading them on.

I think...I need to break it off.

Cool.

We were never that serious, though, were we?

And it's unfair to carry on and mess with your head.

So I take it you're breaking it off with Aleena too?

Right.

You're a really cool girl, Portia.

SHE SIGHS Whatever.

I understand your worries about Mia.

And if it's too much of a rush, then, well,

maybe we should see her a few more times till you're ready.

I don't think mums are ever ready, are they?

I've just been trying so hard to be perfect,

because me and my mum aren't,

but I don't know if I'll ever be perfect, or if I'll be able

to make her love me or even like me, but...I'm going to try really hard.

I'm going to say yes to the social services...if you're in too.

Of course.

Right, then. we'll be great.

Yeah, and if not, then we do our best, yeah? Together.

Miss Haydock.

Oh, don't worry. I'm going.

No, don't.

Sorry?

I was obviously alarmed at your very forward approach with the girls,

but for some reason, you managed to cut through the noise.

Teach them something worthwhile.

My grandson, at least.

Perhaps the softy softy, wokey wokey approach doesn't always work.

If the agency call you again, I hope you'll consider coming back.

Well, I don't see why not, do you?

BELL RINGS

HE GROANS

Joe. Oh! You!

Oh, you look a little bit pink.

Yeah.

It's the takeaway, the refined carbs.

Sorry. You didn't want to know that.

Er, actually, I do.

I want to know everything about you.

So if you need designated foods at designated times, that's cool.

No, no, it's not cool.

It's just it's knowing that I need to be pushed

outside my comfort zone sometimes, right?

But there is a limit.

OK. So no pre-booked dinners in Spain.

Fine.

Hey, Iz.

Where do you think you're going?

Car's this way. Taking Tommy shoe shopping, remember?

Correction - you are.

No, WE are.

Just cos you want to play happy families

and pretend that everything's fine doesn't mean I want to, OK?

Hey, Iz, come on. No!

OK. All right, fine.

Just...if you didn't want to come, why didn't you just talk to me?

I did.

That is literally what I just said.

Call me when you get home, all right?

Portia.

Where have you been? They've had half the school looking for you.

Well, here I am.

You're all right, yeah?

Totally fine now. I'll ring you.

I didn't set out to deceive you.

I did really like spending time with you.

Mm.

And I've realised that I need to put all of my energy into you.

I do really like you.

Oh, do you?

Yeah.

Well, I really liked you too, when we were having fun at parties.

This isn't fun any more.

Bye. See you.

See you.

Is he for real? Yeah, I know, it's gross.

So did she ever come back for your lesson plan?

Oh, no.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Stupid fool, but

the truth is I just miss Coral being at school.

Aw!

Someone to have that sparky banter with, you know.

But she's got the baby now, so.

Yeah, well, Steph Haydock was the next blonde in line, so...

Absolutely not.

Coral is my life, thank you.

Men!

Look, it might be worth a chat.

What? No.

I can't. My mum hates him.

Imagine she comes off a training course and sees that,

oh, me and Daddy are bessie mates.

Well, my mum didn't even tell my dad about me. Exactly.

Donte didn't even know about you.

That guy chose not to see me.

All I know is I am glad I gave my dad a chance, OK?

Call him.

Yoo-hoo!

Oh, Steph.

I know you've been worried sick about me, Neil,

but, actually, I'm fine,

so you don't need to worry your pretty little head about me.

Right, which pub are we going to?

Oh, I should get back.

We all know you'll be more used to Coral in the pub anyway.

Just come for one.

I like this woman.

Oh!

First round's on Joe.

JOE: I think not.

MUSIC: Fireworks by First Aid Kit

I could've sworn I saw fireworks

From your house last night.

PHONE CHIMES

MUSIC: People Help The People by Birdy

God knows what is hiding in those weak and drunken hearts

Guess he kissed the girls and made them cry

Those hard-faced queens of misadventure

God knows what is hiding in those weak and sunken eyes

Fiery throngs of muted angels

Giving love but getting nothing back, oh

People help the people

And if you're homesick, give me your hand and I'll hold it

People help the people

Nothing will drag you down

Oh, and if I had a brain, oh, and if I had a brain

I'd be cold as a stone and rich as the fool

That turned all those good hearts away

People help the people

And if you're homesick, give me your hand and I'll hold it

People help the people

Nothing will drag you down

Oh, and if I had a brain

I'd be cold as a stone and rich as...

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