Original subtitles

Thank you, out of my way. Same old Dragon Walker.

Well, maybe we can give her a new life.

Don't think she'd be into it.

She doesn't need to know, does she?

Fake profile? Friend request, a couple of desperate saddos.

I've been approached online.

I'm saying that I want to join your trust.

The majority of our long-term refusers are resistant.

Maybe introduce a peer mentorship?

I'll help you run it.

I think I've got problems with my eating.

I eat to feel good, until I don't and then I purge.

I caused this cos I thought no-one would ever find out.

Find out what?

It's his messed-up eating.

I want to die.

Oh, baby, come here. Come here.

Don't think you know

Don't think you know what's right

I couldn't show

I'll always be so uptight

Run out of luck

I run out of luck this time...

Preston! Here he is, ready and raring to go.

Yeah, good to be back, sir. We've missed you.

There's no finer ambassador to this school.

All right, come on. Let's get you in.

All right? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, it's good to be out of the house, sir.

I want a fresh start. Of course. You've got this.

This is it, Neil. World's my oyster.

Nearly fully qualified, I'm going to get a place of my own

and here I am, driving to a job I love in my car!

MY car.

Yeah, but soon I'll have my own. Come on, Neil, be happy for me.

I passed my test! KNOCKS ON WINDSCREEN

HEAVY METAL PLAYS ON HEADPHONES

What is going on here? Right, are these the new kids?

Yes, it's OK. They're part of our attendance drive.

You're going to be fine, right?

Move.

Muppet!

He's well fit. Yeah, he's got some weird eating thing.

TAPPING ON KEYPAD

Kim, nearly time for the briefing.

Oh, yes, you're a lifesaver.

Andrew is coming in at lunch today as well.

Ooh, lunch in the school canteen, how romantic!

No, we've got a lot to talk about. Oh, the academy stuff? Yeah.

I never thought I'd say this,

but I'm actually really excited about it. Told the staff?

Yeah, it's early days for that. It's going to be a bit of a shock

for them, but I really think it's going to be good for the school,

so... Yeah, you know how much teachers love change.

So, how have you selected these peer mentors?

Ah, see that's the genius part.

Some of the mentors we've chosen aren't exactly what you'd expect.

Let me guess. You've scraped the bottom of the barrel?

No. We've chosen kids who would benefit

from having some responsibility, Neil.

Oh, the naughty ones.

Or those who need a bit of boost to their self-esteem.

I have thrown my support behind this

and I am expecting all of my staff to do the same, OK?

If there is nothing else...? Have a great day, everyone.

I think there might be something

that you've forgotten to talk to us about.

Neil, you're normally desperate to get out of these briefings.

To be fair, yes.

But I care about my colleagues.

Very much.

Sharing of information is important, I think.

So when a fellow governor disclosed something to me last night,

I thought it was my duty to pass on the news to my colleagues.

Just when exactly where you going to share

our impending academy status with us?

OK, thank you for that.

Um... Well, it wasn't my intention to talk about it quite yet.

There is nothing set in stone but, erm...

Yes, we are entering discussions about turning Waterloo Road

into an academy. MURMURING

Now, I understand that that may be a source of concern for some of you.

It might be a good thing.

Yeah, of course. That's exactly what I'm saying.

You know, let's discuss the pros and cons.

Well, I can think of a huge pro.

Maybe we can get back to the nuts and bolts

and not have children missing classes to do peer mentoring

and all the other touchy-feely nonsense.

I'm sure that we won't be converting into anything

until Kim's done a full consultation with all teaching staff.

Yeah, and we can start that period of consultation today.

Lunch time?

I can try and organise for myself and someone from the trust

to come in, and we can answer any questions that you may have.

Great. Thank you.

Mate, it's getting proper serious.

We've got to have a proper think about our next move.

Yeah, we need to up our game.

Make it more obvious.

We can't go too far with it.

Why don't we send him a heart emoji?

That's not enough.

What about if we send him a nude?

That's too far, innit?

A bit different. Still the same as...

Let's have a look... What's going on?

Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing? Oh, no way. Pass me your phone.

What? Pass me your phone. Pass me your phone now. All right.

What is this?

All right, tell me, or one of you is about to get hurt.

Or you know what?

Both of you are going to get hurt. What is that?

Right, it's just... You know like...

What? You're not going to like it, but... Basically what it is, yeah,

is we've set up a fake account, pretending to be Miss Walker.

And Mr Guthrie thinks he's like flirting with her online.

Which is bad, it is, it is really bad, and we know that.

But...

..it brings us life, Kelly Jo.

That's really funny.

Yeah. It is, innit? Yeah.

No way!

Look at that one.

Coral? I mean, Miss Walker.

Ooh! Not as fit as I used to be.

I mean, you know I still keep myself in shape, obviously.

I just thought we could have a catch-up.

So what do you think? Are we going to go for it?

Oh, cards on table. Like it. Um...

Well, I think that when feelings are running deep, the best thing

to do is to just close your eyes and take a leap of faith.

You know, carpe diem and all that.

So you're in favour, then?

I'm game, if you are.

I've got to say I'm a bit disappointed.

I thought you were a man of principle. You should...

You should have your own idea as to whether we go for academy status

or not, and you shouldn't be driven by what anyone else thinks.

Well, you... You're talking about academy status?

Yeah.

What were you talking about?

CHATTER Come on, girls!

Oh! We're at work!

Gotcha! HE CHUCKLES

Hey, but listen, don't feel you can't hit me up,

as the kids say.

HE LAUGHS

You're back. Yeah, and now you're trying to give me a heart attack.

I'm just happy you're back.

Are you OK?

Yeah, yeah, I'm sound.

Mum's acting like I'm going to break into a million pieces

if she loses sight of me.

I'm so ready for things to go back to being normal.

All I need is to get back in the game

and I'll feel like myself again.

Yeah, well, maybe you should just take it easy?

I've been taking it easy for months.

Plus, haven't you missed seeing me all sweaty on the court?

Yes, come to think of it.

Safe is sexy.

Basketball can wait a bit.

All right, I'll think about it.

OK, I've got to go. I'll see you around.

It's nice having you around.

Oi! Don't miss me too much.

BELL RINGS

Look, I'm sorry. This isn't how I wanted you to find out.

Really, Neil shouldn't have said anything. Neil isn't the issue here.

We're your deputies. You should have spoken to us.

I know, I'm sorry.

I should have discussed it with you both first but, potentially,

this is exciting news, no?

Yes, of course it is.

You know I'm all up for academy status,

the standard's usually better.

But if we're going to help lead the drive,

I'd like to be there from the start.

And you are here from the start, both of you are.

Oh, right. Well, good.

OK?

I got it. Right, I want a paragraph, please, on how Germany became

Europe's military superpower. We need to send him a love sonnet.

I don't... I don't get it. What's that? It's a poem.

It's about love. Come here, pass me your phone.

You guys are pointless!

Hurry up!

Hang on!

Use that.

Let me read.

Yeah?

We have lift-off. MOBILE ALERT

Ssh-ssh!

THEY GIGGLE

Come on, what's going on? Give it now. Pass it! Pass it!

You started without me?

Are you coming to watch us practise?

No, I'm coming to play. And you will.

Just not yet.

It's brilliant to have you back.

Captain, let's get your head back in the game.

Captain? I was going to tell you sooner, I...

Cos you would've looked proper tight.

Or wait till I had a heart attack then jump into my shoes.

MOBILE VIBRATES

BELL RINGS

THEY LAUGH

Preston! Preston!

Preston, stop!

Well, I'm sorry, should I be following captain's orders?

I knew you wouldn't be OK with it.

I am, right? What I'm not OK with is you lying to me.

I didn't lie! You didn't ever bother telling me the truth, Kai!

There wasn't a right time.

Well, how about this morning

when we were literally talking about basketball?

Or maybe when Mr King first made you captain?

It's temporary, it's not a big deal.

Does it look like it's not a big deal?

Oi! Watch out! You watch out!

I'm sorry. HEAVY METAL PLAYS ON HEADPHONES

BELL RINGS

Hey, Kai. Don't forget, period three,

you're meeting your mentee, yeah?

Don't look at me like that. Don't even think about letting me down.

I'm sorry I can't, miss.

I've not got the right head space for that right now.

I need to concentrate on the basketball, now I'm captain.

Preston's proper gutted about that. I feel really tight.

I just... I can't do the mentor thing right now, I'm sorry, miss.

Well, that's OK, I understand.

He's pushing me away.

Well, life has changed for him. He had a heart attack.

He can't do all the stuff he used to. I get it.

Look, I just feel rubbish.

He's gone from hero to zero in his head.

I don't know why he thinks that.

He's still such an important asset to the school.

He should just take your place as a peer mentor.

Yeah.

Yeah! Thanks, miss!

Hey? I still haven't heard from Andrew.

I'm sure he'll be here. Yeah. I'm sure he will, he's just...

He's cutting it a bit fine.

Thank you.

KNOCK AT DOOR Come in.

Oh, Preston.

How are you doing?

Er...

I'm leaving.

OK, yeah.

Well, I guess it can be a bit full on with all the new additions,

I don't suppose one more day at home will do you any harm. No, no.

No, I mean I'm leaving sixth form for good.

Yeah, I've been looking at specialist sports colleges,

I think they'd be a better fit.

I don't want to be here.

Everyone's, like, staring at me and talking about me

behind my back like I'm some sort of weirdo, I just...

Preston, you... You can't just make a snap decision

and leave school because you're having a bad day.

I'm not. I'm having a bad life.

What? You're going nowhere.

You're a pillar of the Waterloo Road community.

And you are an asset to this school.

Yeah, I was, more like.

Well, now no-one knows or cares who I am,

so I might as well just start somewhere else.

Wait, no, that's not true. Yes, it is.

What would you know?

I know you're hurting, but please don't take that tone with me.

I want you to be a peer mentor.

We're pairing up the new students

with people who can help them settle in.

Yeah, no, thanks. Well, you're not getting a choice.

Everything you've learnt about leadership on the basketball court

can be applied to peer mentoring.

Come on, you develop relationships with others so easily.

You don't just stop being a role model

cos you can't get a ball in a hoop.

Preston, look, I look at you and I know you have got

so much to offer the world, with or without a fully functioning heart.

So you're not getting a choice, you're doing it. All right.

All right, stop going on.

I'll do it until I leave.

Good. Period three - in the hall. Yay(!)

And we will talk about sports college later.

That was impressive.

All right.

Love it. Oh, them rings.

Ooft! Right...

BELL RINGS

I'm not surprised she's late.

Too scared to show her face.

She'll be here, don't worry.

FOB BEEPS

Er... Thank you all for coming. Um...

MICROWAVE PINGS

It's my lunch.

Thank you all for coming and accommodating me on your lunch hour.

Look, rather than me just, you know, doing all the talking,

I thought it would be a good idea if we did a bit of a Q&A.

So, does anybody have any questions?

KELLY JO: All right, then. Come on, what shall we do next?

We need to up our game, lads.

Think, man.

I don't know.

Well, come on, think.

What do we do?

Oh, my gosh, I've got it!

I think it needs to be something...

..a little bit more visual.

What? Visual.

What's that supposed to mean? You'll find out.

You've given us best-case scenario, right?

We get to keep our budgets and the curriculum and all that jazz.

But is that really the reality?

I mean, can you guarantee that we are not going to lose

a subject like drama from the curriculum?

MURMURING

Look, I've got to be honest. I don't know.

The truth is, the discussions are at such an early stage,

which is why I didn't feel it was quite appropriate

to start talking about it yet. It's such a shame

that Mr Treneman is not here to answer these questions.

Andrew Treneman, as in your boyfriend?

Mr Treneman, as in CEO of the trust, Mr Treneman.

Look, I think that this is the start of what could be a really

exciting journey, and I want to take you all on it with me.

You are all, all of you, valued.

You make the school what it is.

So, if you do have any more questions,

why don't you email me and I will answer them as best as I can?

OK? Thank you.

BELL RINGS

Leadership is a chance to turn heartbreak into opportunity,

and disappointment...into hope.

Chill out, Braveheart!

Yeah, sir, it's not like we're going to war, you know?

OK, your mentees are going to arrive any second, right?

So, can we please just make this session count, yeah?

Right?

Come in, come in.

Take a seat.

Come on in!

I guess she's mine.

Yeah, she is, actually, yeah.

Now, I know this might feel a little awkward, but believe me,

once we do a couple of icebreakers you'll be right... Ah, look, see!

You got something in common already.

You won't know this, but I was actually Miss Spratt's mentor

when she first arrived, and at first it was a struggle, wasn't it?

Yeah, I know she won't mind me saying that.

But I was able to help her identify strategies that really,

really helped. And I learnt just as much from her as she did from me.

So, Jess, you know where you are, you're with Kelly Jo.

Declan? Yeah? you are with Noel. Yes!

And... Come on, then.

Erm... Preston, you are with Mollie.

It's Mog. What, is that, like, your gaming name?

You all right, champ? LAUGHTER

I'll do the rest of the names.

It's OK. Tom, you're with Schuey.

And Gwen, you're with Misha.

And James, you're with James.

Do you get a trophy for this?

KNOCK AT DOOR Yello!

Hey. You all right, mate?

Yeah, yeah. Er...

I've just come to pick your brains.

You've come to pick my brains? Man, you must be lost!

Well, it's more like,

you know, the modern world. Erm...

It's...

I'm still playing catch-up.

Right, well, have you tried switching it off and on again?

The computer?

Oh! No.

No, no, no, it's not that, it's...

Well, it's more like...

FUNNY ACCENT: ..lady trouble.

Sorry, what?

Lady trouble.

Oh! Why didn't... Why didn't you say so, then?

See, I've been conversing with someone online... Yeah?

..and when she sends me messages, well, I get the impression that she

likes me, you know, like really likes me. Yeah?

When we're face to face,

she acts like I'm...something she's just stepped in.

Oh, mate, don't worry about that, it's all part of the game.

Look, if she's into that online stuff, yeah,

"she's into that online stuff", if you know what I mean.

Just play it that way too, yeah?

What do you mean?

Well, I'm just saying, you know, back in your day,

you probably sent love letter with horses and carriages and that.

Look, in my experience, you know,

I've always let the woman set the tone.

Yeah? If she's into it, just go along for the ride, mate.

So, how did you know that we'd be together?

Is it not obvious?

No. Cos we're black, innit?

So, I found this great place for...

Nah. I don't believe you! You could hear everything.

You know, I don't think I ever went to the bog

the entire time I was at that school.

Why was there no doors on the toilets?

Cos kids did bad stuff when they were closed so we didn't have 'em.

Like what? Like beat each other up.

Mate, it sounds like a proper rough school.

Yeah, it was. Hated it.

Not like that here, is it? No.

No.

Carry on.

Well, look...

If anyone ever like starts on you or anything,

just know I'm here to smack them in the chops, yeah? Yeah. Come on.

I'm leaving this school soon,

so I don't think I'm going to be your mentor for long.

They had to beg me to do this.

So you're quitting school? Is that cos you're not captain any more?

What are you talking to me about quitting school for?

You've not even started. I was home-schooled, idiot.

Oh, right, a home-school weirdo.

Makes sense.

I'm sorry, excuse me here.

OK, so we're going to take a quick break now,

but afterwards, I'd like you all to come back

with three unusual things that you've learnt about your partner.

Yeah? BELL RINGS

Do you really think this, like, foot thing's a good idea, yeah?

Yeah, man, I'm telling you.

Come on, don't you think Mr Guthrie's the type of person

to get off on feet?

Yeah? Yeah, mate. He is, isn't he?

He loves it, mate. He loves it. You know he does.

Ta-da!

They are absolutely hanging.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. You need something to show it off.

There we go.

An anklet to finish it off.

Coral, how lovely! That might make it a bit worse, to be honest.

Right, bring...

Pose it. CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

Give it a wiggle!

THEY LAUGH

In your face!

Oh, don't do that again!

Are you going to come back in and do this, or what?

We're supposed to be finding out three things about each other.

Yeah, whatever.

Just make it up.

MOBILE ALERT

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Eurgh...

BELL RINGS

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

CHATTER AND LAUGHTER

OK, guys...

Everybody... Everybody settle down!

If you could just put the phone away...

OK...

Guys...

OK, if you could all just come and sit with your partners!

OK, we asked you to find out three things about your partner.

So, let's... Declan, Noel, if you'd like to kick off?

Yeah? Cool.

Come on. What? Stand up.

Thank you, sir.

Erm... Hello, everyone.

This is Declan and he is in Year... 9.

Year 9.

And he doesn't like school. Who does? Not me.

He has got three gerbils, so he's got two...

Two gerbils cos his cat ate one, so... He's got a cat.

Get it? Yeah, sick.

Erm... One mum.

Yep.

Three dads, like, so far.

And his second one was his favourite, but like all good things,

he is now gone. Yeah, that's it. Great, well done.

APPLAUSE Thank you.

OK. Kelly Jo, your turn. Yeah.

Erm... So this is Jess.

Um...

Yeah, she knows all the black hair shops in Manchester already

and she's only just moved here.

Crazy, pretty impressive.

Erm... Yeah, little bit up herself.

Just a little bit. OK, Kelly Jo, that's great.

I'm just messing, it's like...

Yeah. Fab. APPLAUSE

Stop it. Thank you. Er... Preston.

Do you want to go?

This is Preston.

He likes to carry a basketball, even though he doesn't play basketball.

He's got a bunch of ancient trophies in an ancient trophy cabinet and...

Right, this is Mog.

Her actual name's Mollie, but she prefers being called Mog cos,

well, I don't know, maybe she likes cats, or something.

LAUGHTER

Right, she plays virtual games in a virtual world

with her virtual friends

cos she hasn't actually got any real ones,

and she was home-schooled

but now, unlucky for us, we have to put up with her.

Preston!

Are you OK?

Well, that wasn't very nice. She started it.

She's in Year 9, man.

Whatever!

Well, where are you going?

You need to leave me alone. Treating me like I'm some kind of clown.

You were the one being proper snide to me.

You're the exact reason I never wanted to come to school!

Right, stop, both of you!

Just apologise to each other right now. Preston, why you being so mean?

I'm not apologising to that write-off!

Right, I am sick of this attitude!

It's all about this, isn't it?

Whoa!

Oh, miss! Oh, you've lost it big time!

Shut up, Schuey!

Stop! You two...go to my room, cool down.

And everyone else, just stay where you are, this is dangerous.

..And let the reader know how he's feeling.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Can I have a quick word, Miss Walker, if you don't mind?

One minute.

Yes?

Er...

Coral...

This is a little awkward.

What is?

Our...situationship.

Not a word.

But carry on.

I know a good chiropodist.

That's...nice.

He could do us a deal.

Maybe one of those two-for-one jobbies,

cos mine need a bit of attention too.

I mean, not that yours need any attention.

Well, not unless you want to give them some attention.

I don't know what I'm doing, sorry. Um... I'm new at this.

It's not that I don't like feet, I do.

It's just that I wasn't expecting them to look so...

..rustic.

And more to the point, I didn't reciprocate, I tried,

but I couldn't because this modern way, well, it's just not me.

OK, Neil, I don't know what you're talking about.

You don't know what I'm talking about.

Oh, God!

Apologies, Neil. These feet need to do some walking.

Oh, wait, wait.

There's something you need to see.

BELL RINGS

You thought these were mine?

And you were conversing with someone who you thought was me?

Well, obviously, I knew it wasn't really you.

I just thought that by going along with it, it might help me

catch the culprit.

Oh, I see.

And have you?

Have I what? Caught the culprit?

Oh... No. No.

No, which is why I thought it were best to involve you at this stage,

because I'm thinking of reporting it and, well,

I wanted to check with you first, in case you find it embarrassing.

Why would I be embarrassed?!

Cos everyone's going to see your feet. They're not my feet! Sorry.

The thing, is Neil, if we report it, everyone will know you've

been chatting flirtatiously with someone you thought were me.

It's embarrassing, I know.

I'm just really not happy that someone would do this to you.

It's not right.

And you've been hurt.

And I've been cat-nipped.

You mean cat-fished.

These kids look like they've had some fun doing this to us.

Well, you think you know who that was? I have an idea.

But we need to prove it were them.

And then we need to make them pay.

HE CHUCKLES

Look, mate...

..I'm sorry.

That was tight, what I said.

I'm not bothered.

You can't just make snide comments to people in real life.

It's not like a game. Oh, whatever!

You know, maybe you should try living in the real world sometimes.

Could be all right, you know? So, why do you look so miserable?

Do you know why I'd rather play games than have real people around?

Cos games don't say they're going to meet you somewhere

then don't show up. Or tell lads that you fancy them when you don't.

And they don't take the mick in front of everyone

in the school hall when they're supposed to be helping you.

I wasn't exactly coming in today feeling the best either.

No, you just made it ten times worse with your snide comments.

It was your fault as much as mine. It was your fault more.

You made me feel like I don't belong here.

DOOR SLAMS

MUSIC PLAYS ON HEADPHONES

I'd rather go back to class than do this mentor thing.

It's dead boring.

It can't be that bad that you'd rather look at Walker's face

than be with that girl, Jess.

No, but I don't know what she's on about half the time.

She was like, "Oh, they definitely

"put us both together cos we're both black."

Like what?! Well, look, I remember when I was at primary school...

Ooft! I'm not done. Sorry.

..this new girl started and they sat her right next to me

just cos she were Indian.

It's like they just expected us to be besties.

Really? Yeah. What the heck?

Well, to be fair, though, she was all right.

I still see her at the mandir.

I didn't know you still went to the temple.

Yeah, I always go with Wali and with my Nanny G sometimes.

Wow!

Check you out, girl.

Sure.

SPLATTERING AND FARTING

Ugh!

That's actually disgusting. That is minging, you dirty dog.

Ugh!

Oh, mate...

Do you know what, though? I don't think I'm very cultured.

Of course you are. You're Caribbean, aren't you?

Half.

Right, well, you're still cultured.

I mean, you're like a total expert on Drag Race.

Well, yeah, I do totally slay. Yeah, you do.

Pose.

Pose.

I can't, me nose, man. Oh, my...!

I can't do it, Kell's. It's giving farts. We need to leave.

There's definitely no culture in these toilets. Ugh!

No, you can't do that! No! Let... Move your hands!

Please? No, that's outrageous. No!

THEY LAUGH

Oh, no, they can't be that stupid, surely?

Wait a minute, what am I saying? Of course they can.

Will they really think this is me?

Are you sure you want to do this?

Oh, I have never been more sure about anything.

OK, here we go. Let's save that.

Right, then. Are we ready to continue with Operation Catnip?

Born ready. You are surprisingly good with these filters.

Yeah, well, before they left with their mum,

I got a lot of practice in with my daughter's selfies.

You must miss them.

The kids, I mean. Mm. I do.

They were noisy.

But it's funny to come home to quiet.

Didn't know you like noise.

Feel like there's a lot about you I don't know.

I don't think you should be doing that.

Well, I need to get fit again.

What do you need to get fit for?

I'm applying to sports college.

There's no place for me here.

What does that even mean?

I don't know, I just...

School just feels pointless now. Don't be daft, Prest.

You are an asset to the school.

"An asset to the school"? What are you talking like that for?

That's what Miss Spratt said.

Have you been chatting to her about me? No.

We just thought... We? So yous have been talking about me.

Aw, having a little convo, were you, about what you could do

to make little Preston feel better about himself?

That's not what happened.

No, you set this up so I wouldn't feel useless! Stop!

Stop making everything about you!

Danny's gone.

I've lost him.

You're not the only one that is...struggling.

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

Hey?

I suppose the staff meeting could have gone worse?

Yeah, they could have murdered me. I'm sure you were great.

It would have helped if Andrew had bothered turning up.

Oh, yeah! How's that going?

Obviously, not the bit where he left you in the lurch,

we'll skirt over that. Yeah.

Yeah, it's going really well. Well, apart from this last week

where all we've done is talk about work.

Work talk can be sexy.

Absence flow charts - grr!

Oh, Wendy, shut up. Please.

SHE LAUGHS

Oi, you!

I want a word with you!

I'm not in the mood for anything you've got to say.

What do you think you're doing, having a go at that new girl, hey?

You weren't brought up like that.

And she can't be that bad she makes you want to leave.

What? Who told you that? Oh, come on, Preston.

Everything you do is big news. You're the It boy, aren't you?

I was.

Is that what this is about? I just don't belong here any more.

I want to start somewhere new where people don't think I'm going to

drop dead every time I'm out of breath.

Everyone's asking how I am every five minutes, I hate it.

They're asking how you are because they care.

Imagine if it was me that had that heart attack? Or Kai?

What would you be doing?

Fussing over us and offering to do everything,

so what's the difference? You don't understand.

Well, make me understand. I was someone, Mum.

I was someone.

And now...

And now I'm no-one.

Oh, come on, that is not true.

You are still the son that I look up to.

Do you hear me?

You're my hero.

You're my everything.

And you can do whatever you want to do.

You really think so?

I know so.

Come here.

CHATTER

Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dumber heading towards you.

HE LAUGHS Roger.

Who's Roger? Over.

Stop making me laugh! Over.

Probably cos he's onto us. Nah.

Wait, there's no way they're onto us.

How would they have found out? I don't know.

Right, Guthrie might be thick but she's proper scary.

Hey, she might be scary, but they've not found us out, have they?

Launch missile. Over.

Message received. Thanks, Roger.

MOBILE PINGS

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hang on, hang on.

Oh, what's he saying now, man? Go on, what's he saying?

He's sent a picture.

Let's see that.

Ew! Nah, nah! No way.

Oh man, that is disgusting! That is disgusting.

No, that is rank! That is so bad. Oh, get off! Take it, take it, mate.

Take it back, bro. Bro, take it back. Take it back. Noel and Dean.

Get here now.

Take it.

Come on out, Rosanna, honey

Out the dark into the light

Do you really get to grow some

When you're silent all the time?

They tell me all you need is hard work

A little time to get your head up over the clouds

How do you figure after high school

Where you decide you got it...

What are you looking at?

Well, they look like they're getting on.

You know, touchy-feely peer mentoring

seems to have a place at this school after all.

Yeah, but what about when we become an academy?

Who knows what we're going to be like as an academy?

You're good at what you do. In fact, right, you are the best

at what you do and you should not change for anyone.

You made a real difference today.

Do you think Kelly Jo would have been a mentor

if it hadn't been for your influence?

But you... You have to stop smashing cabinets, it's so bad!

OK. Not promising anything.

Thank you.

So, Mike, can you tell me,

potentially, what crime has been committed here?

For starters, you've got fraud and harassment.

SNIGGERING

And would that usually result in a custodial sentence?

Well, given their age, not necessarily.

But then if it has had significant impact on the victim,

then could be talking prison time.

OK. Do you want to take the boys out

while I have a look at this paperwork? Thank you.

OK.

OK.

So, um... Let me get this straight.

You were texting the boys, thinking that you were texting Coral?

Yes.

Right, and Noel and Dean sent pictures of Dean's feet,

and you thought that they were Coral's...

..feet?

And where were you in all of this, Coral?

Well, she... She wasn't.

This was all down to me.

A naive old man...

..middle-aged man who dared to dream.

OK, well, obviously there is going to be exclusions for both of them,

but I do think that the boys have had a sufficient scare,

so are you happy with the way that I've dealt with this?

Yes. Yeah, oh, yeah.

Very happy.

Then please carry on.

Oh. Um...

Don't! This is very serious.

THEY LAUGH

Go on, then. You've seen me playing.

How about you show me what you're made of?

Right. Or how about you show me?

Come on.

Oh!

HE LAUGHS

Shut up!

That was shocking!

It's not as easy in the real world. Give it here.

Right, it's about the way you're holding it.

Are you left or right-handed? Right-handed.

Right, so your right hand has to go across the seams

and then you use your left hand for support.

And then when you're aiming,

you just focus on the back of the ring, all right? Like this.

Like that.

Now try.

Wey-ey! See? Told you.

Yeah, it was definitely your impressive coaching skills

and not beginner's luck.

Right, well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then. Yeah.

I've been looking everywhere for you.

What are you doing in here?

I'm reading. It's a library, Dean.

All right.

I've been excluded for three days.

Don't worry, I didn't grass you up.

Right. Well, it's only three days, innit? Who cares?

What's up with you?

Nothing.

So, Noel says that when a girl says nothing's wrong,

what she really means is every thing's wrong.

So have I...

Have you what?

..done something wrong?

No. It's not all about you, is it?

I'm just a bit confused.

About what?

About me, I don't know who I am.

You're my girlfriend, aren't you?

I don't know what your problem is.

You know that little girl, Jess?

She knows everything about her history, about who she is...

I don't even know who my dad is. Count yourself lucky.

All I know about mine is he's a complete idiot.

It's not about my dad, Dean. It's about my culture.

Well, I don't care what culture you are... No, but I do!

I just want to know something about it, that's all!

I'm sorry.

I don't want you to be sorry.

I want you to stay here.

Why?

Cos I need you.

And I'm sick and tired of losing people that I love.

You do need me.

You need me to teach you how to make that shot.

Oh, you're going to teach me? Yeah, I think I am. Hm...

In fact...

..I'm going to ask Mr King about coaching the team.

Seriously?

Come here.

I quite enjoyed watching those boys squirm.

I quite liked your poem.

Did you? No.

Well, I think we make a very good team.

I haven't laughed like that for a long time.

And I haven't seen two boys move so fast!

Well, at least it'll give us something to laugh at

next time we go out for a drink.

Do you fancy going tonight?

For a drink with just you?

Go on, then. You can give me all the goss about the academy thing.

Deal.

KNOCK AT DOOR

I'm so sorry.

What was so important?

School business.

Well, that was suitably vague.

I didn't have access to a phone, I'm sorry.

Unavoidable school business.

Unavoidable school business?

Yes.

Right, well, all of this came out earlier than I wanted it to,

so I have had a horrible day trying to field questions that

I didn't know the answers to, and I really needed for you to be here.

I'm sorry. You said that we were going to go into

this whole academy thing together, as a team.

I know. And I haven't felt like I've been in a team today.

Something came up.

It was only a lunch date.

It's not like we had a scheduled meeting in the diary.

No, I know, but if I text you, I at least expect you to answer me.

Maybe we've both got too much on at the moment.

Yeah, OK.

Maybe we have but we...

SHE SIGHS

We shouldn't be taking it out on each other,

we are both professionals. That's not what I meant.

What do you mean?

Um...

Blurred lines -

professional, personal.

Yeah, it's not going to work. Um... We need to end this relationship.

What? I'm sorry, Kim, it's...

Andrew?

Andrew!

Watch your dainty feet coming down here.

Surprised I didn't trip up.

THEY LAUGH

Oh, dear. Well, play your cards right

and I might let you drown in my ocean. Oh!

Oh, God!

Going out on a school night, what are we like?

So rebellious. Maybe Noel and Dean have rubbed off on us.

Well, as long as that Dean doesn't try to rub his feet on us,

I don't mind!

You all right?

Who's this?

Libby? What are you...?

Why are you here?

Nice to see you too, Dad.

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