Original subtitles

I suspect you're premenopausal. That's impossible, she's only 41.

You don't get it?

I don't want this baby.

Well, I think it's make -your -mind -up time, don't you?

Are you saying that you could never feel the same way?

That is exactly what I'm saying.

I'm more concerned about our daughter than I am about your... sordid little

affair. It's over.

Maria.

So you'd rather spend your night with him?

Er, no, of course not.

Good, cos it's not like you can offer your eye, can, is it?

And I've been caving myself for someone special, Josh Stevenson, and I think

that's you, so don't let me down, yeah?

Look, Ken, I meant what I said about making things work.

I know it's not going to be easy, and I know I've screwed things up, but I... I

do want it to work.

Well, we're going to need each other's support more than ever today, aren't we?

It'll be fine.

It'll be better.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

A bit soon, eh? Yeah.

But thanks for the effort.

Oh, check them out.

Yeah, he's pretty fit, actually.

Better get in there before someone else does.

Morning, ladies.

Connor!

Dad, I don't need a lift home tonight. I'm going to go to Vicky's and then see

you then.

I'll deal with this.

No, dinner at ours, remember?

Dad! No excuses, Jess. You'll be there.

You all right?

No, not really.

My precious sister's 18th birthday today, so it's pretty much all my

think about. Sorry, Jess.

Have a stupid party for someone that probably isn't even alive anymore.

Do you know what I mean?

Like it's the most normal thing in the world. It's worse than a funeral.

But I'm always here if you want to talk, you know.

Come on in.

Listen, I was just wondering if it might be worth our while going out for dinner

tonight instead.

You know, try something a bit different.

Well, we always celebrate Dex's birthday at home.

It's tradition.

Why change that? Yeah, I know. I just worry that the kids might...

starts to find the whole party thing a bit morbid.

Morbid?

It's the one time of the year where we get together as a family in our own home

to remember her.

I think that's important, don't you? Of course, of course. Whatever you think's

best. It's just a thought.

Right then, ladies.

Quick warm -up. Stay into a match. Year 12 to kick off.

Check the skills on that Connor, boys.

You're not bad, that, mate. Not bad.

You signing for the team, then? Because I'm done with you a while ago.

Maybe. He'd been at you boys up to standard.

Where'd you learn skills like that, anyway?

Colview. Oh, cool. Yeah.

Brother used to play there all the time. Says he got a homer on the team.

Right, that'll be me, actually.

You being serious?

Yeah, why?

You never said.

I didn't forget to.

It's not a problem, is it?

Er, no.

We just... Well, you don't look like a gay, do you? I should always have

it on my T -shirt or something like that.

Is that why you left Colview, then?

People giving you grief?

No, I've just moved on, don't we?

Believe it or not, some people don't have a problem with it.

Whoa. I know.

Gay and good at football.

Who'd have thought it, eh?

Can't trust anyone these days.

Might have had an easy ride at Colview.

Doubt we'll get the same here.

I don't know, mate.

Skills like that, he might just get away with it.

Mrs Fisher, Mr Kirby here to see you.

Pleased you could make it.

Four -week review, as promised.

Well, hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised by the progress they've made.

Be as impartial as I can. I think you're going to have your work cut out for

you. I've worked in the education sector long enough to know that I can offer my

children a better education. Well, let's see how they're settling in before we

draw any hasty conclusions.

Hey,

Team Sharky, use your players!

Mark, you're up!

Tom?

Sorry to interrupt.

This is Mr Kirby, Jonah's dad.

Come to see how he's settling in.

Well, see for yourself.

Proven to be a little dynamo on the wing.

Nice one, Jonah!

That's for Connor, settling in like a dream.

Yes!

Well done, Connor! That's more like it!

Jonah seems to have found his niche.

Oh, well.

We'll see.

Come on, Josh, get stuck in!

Josh!

Josh, you flaming idiot!

Well done, mate. You screwed the pass up. What? Caution, you poor... Oi!

Oi! Move!

What? Come on, Dave. Calm down.

What's going on?

All right, listen up, guys.

If anyone here thinks that's just a bit of...

Then think again.

Because there's zero tolerance towards homophobic language like that in this

school, OK?

It's right, Miss Fisher -Honest. No, it's not all right, Connor.

It's abusive and bullying.

And it's gone unchecked for far too long. The bench for you.

I'll deal with you later.

Anyone found using that kind of language again will be fast -tracked to a third

strike, which means exclusion.

You got that?

Let's go and see how Ruth's settling in.

Right, come on.

It's certainly heartening to see Jonas fitting in, but he was never going to

have as hard a time as Ruth, was he?

Ruth could do just as well if she wasn't so resistant to being involved in life

and the school.

But who can blame her when her own father is prepared to lead by example?

Let's not be naive about this, shall we?

Ruth's abilities would always single her out for bullying and discrimination.

The large peer group situation of state education only serves to exacerbate

that. So you're prepared to see her unique and potentially ostracised for

whole life? Of course not.

Besides, the school doesn't have the softly, softly approach to bad behaviour

once had.

I operate a three -strike policy.

We give them their chances, but if they don't reform... Easily said in

principle.

We can debate the pros and cons all we like, but it's meaningless unless we

actually ask Jonah and Ruth about what they're feeling themselves.

Seth.

Hi.

Listen, I appreciate things have been a bit awkward the last couple of weeks.

That's one way of putting it.

But I don't think that's a reason for us to start avoiding each other, is it?

No.

You're right. I'm sorry.

Hey, I've still got some photos and letters of Maria's that she might want

I could post them to her myself.

Put them in an envelope and I'll drop them off next week.

You haven't spoken to her, have you?

I just wanted to make sure that she's doing all right, that's all. Well, she's

as well as you can imagine. I don't know what you expect. No, no, no, of course

not.

Tell her I asked, yeah?

Tell her yourself if you have to.

I'm done doing your dirty work.

I'm B -I -G.

Man, when they threw me because I'm empty. If you ever saw what they've done

the tree, you definitely wouldn't be looking at me.

About what happened with Josh.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry about that, Mr Clarkson. I didn't mean to. Yeah, well,

it's him that should be apologising.

He was way out of line talking to you like that. I don't know what got into

No worries. It's just football, isn't it? It's just baller.

Never fought with anything else.

Good, but I just want to reassure you that we don't tolerate you in this

ever. Well, that's nice of you to say, but you don't have to worry about me.

I can come to myself.

Thanks.

I'll talk to you when you've changed.

You played well today, mate.

Cheers, man. Try.

Probably give you a run for your money at the poker table tonight, you know?

What?

No, we don't need any more players.

The table's full.

That's cool, bro. Sure can fit one more in.

Yeah, why not?

You know, as long as some of your boys don't mind me being there.

Oh, ignore him. He's just jealous because he can't make it.

Josh has got a hot date with Lauren tonight.

I think she usually likes to be in here during her break.

Hardly the socialisation you promised.

Hardly the fair chance you said you'd give her either.

She spends most of her time catching up on emails and extra work you've been

sending her, apparently.

What can I say? I'm finding it hard to let go.

So why did you drop out of mainstream education if you're so motivated to make

difference?

I spent my entire career climbing the ranks from secondary teacher to

lecturer, and all I saw was the same government interference and tedious

bureaucracy at every single level.

It just crystallized for me that I wasn't about to waste my children's

futures in the same flawed system.

Now, don't get me wrong. I loved my job. I loved teaching.

I just didn't see it working the way it... Could we?

No, slow down, mate. What's up?

Nothing.

You've been acting weird recently, you, mate. What's the matter with you? Just

let me in, mate. What's up?

Ah, getting a bit of cold feet, are we? Something like that, yeah.

Josh, what are we doing?

Josh!

What's up?

I've got something to tell you.

Mate, we all get stage fright the first time. It's only natural.

It's not stage fright.

I just don't fancy her. At all.

It doesn't matter.

It's still a lay, innit? It's not that simple.

It is.

You pulled a Desperado cool.

Finn, you're not listening to me. You're not listening to me.

Chances like this don't come round all the time. You need to make the most of

them.

Finn.

Look, you just need to grow up her and get on with it, OK?

Finn? Finn?

Finn! Finn!

Finn!

Oi! Oi!

What's up with this?

I don't know.

What a word of you.

I thought what you said to come in.

It's totally unacceptable, Josh. And you know that. Not now, Dad, please.

And you did it in front of Mrs. Fisher, which makes us both look bad. You're

really lucky to escape without a strike, Josh.

Josh!

Jonah! Have you seen Dad's in school?

Come to rescue us, finally.

Some of us don't need rescuing, I told you.

Well, I do.

I hate it here.

And as soon as he sees that, he's going to take me out.

Grow up, Ruth.

Dad just wants us to succeed.

Whatever we do, do you not get that?

As long as we keep our noses clean, we're staying here. There's nothing he

do about it. He hates us being here.

You're deluding yourself if you can't see it. Yeah.

Well, he didn't look too fussed when he watched me on the pitch just now.

Really made up, actually.

Like, he's happy if we are.

Just stay out of my way. Don't try to sabotage it for both of us.

Well, that's too loud, man.

Whisper.

H -stick 23, yeah?

Don't look like you were good at keeping it a secret.

What are you doing?

Poker tournament. What does it look like?

Warm -ups for tonight. Why don't you run along, little girl? Lead the grown -ups

to the game, yeah?

Er, I think I can probably handle myself, actually.

Got some cash.

I mean, can't be that hard to pick up.

Yeah, you reckon?

All right.

Put your money where your mouth is.

Show us what you got, eh?

Finn, don't talk to me, Josh.

Finn, please, it was a mistake.

Yeah, damn right it was a mistake.

You ever touch me again and I'll kill you.

Finn, don't touch me. I was just messing around. Please.

You stay away from me. Have you got that?

Oh, Finn!

Stay away from me, you freak!

You stay away from me. Have you got that?

Oh, Finn!

Stay away from me, you freak!

I'm going to you!

Get to your class, Lauren, please.

So we each get dealt two cards each, yeah?

You got that?

Yeah. All right.

Shall we play? You'll learn it as we pick it up. Yeah, easy.

I'm going to take all the pocket money off her.

Right.

I've got a chance this time.

Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it.

Hold it.

Got much left to bet with you.

Proper hustle, does there?

Me and my dad studied body language for ages when we were doing psychology.

Can tell when someone's bluffing. Easy.

He was just that ear -touching thing when he's nervous.

He kept looking to the left when he raised you.

Couldn't even look me in the eye. And you kept playing me time.

Well done, little girl. Looks like you got your uses after all.

There you are.

Ruth? What's going on?

Um, we were...

Playing poker.

I won.

What have you got there?

No concern of yours, Janine.

Well, it is a fusion school copier.

20p, if it's personal.

And I'll have to enter it into my little logbook.

Okay.

How about you enter this in your little logbook?

It is none of your business.

Okay? Or I will report you for invasion of privacy.

Well, we can wait here all day if we have to, but someone's going to tell us

what's been going on here.

Him I'd expect the silent treatment from.

But you?

You practically lived at ours over the summer.

I would have thought you owed me a little bit more respect.

Well, that's why I'm not saying anything.

If you want to know what happened, ask Josh, Finn.

Josh, I haven't done anything.

He's totally lost it.

He's just attacked me out of nowhere.

You're the one who's lost it.

Pretending to be my best mate, then trying to put your tongue down my

You liar.

Your son tried to kiss me this morning, that's what.

He's lying, Dad. I don't know what he's on about. Why can't you just tell him,

Josh? And just tell him what a little gay you are. Hey, that's enough. You

talk. You're the one who's sucking up to Connor.

Hey, hey, enough.

Hey, sit down.

Whatever's gone on, there's no excuse for that kind of behaviour.

You heard what Mrs Fisher said this morning. Zero tolerance.

Now, whatever Josh has done to upset you, you do not lie.

Why would I lie about him trying to kiss me?

Why would I do that? There's no excuse for you attacking him like you did.

You can have a detention at lunch and one after school for your troubles.

See if you're so keen to pick fights then.

And you just be thankful that it was us that caught you and not Mrs Fisher.

Because anything like this happens again, Finn, and you will be excluded.

understand me?

Now go on.

Just wait there one second, Josh, please.

What's all this nonsense about you kicking him?

I don't know what he's on about.

Seriously, Dad, he's been acting jealous ever since he got with Lauren.

I think he probably fancies her as well.

Probably trying to split us up.

Right, well, you keep your distance from him.

I've had enough problems trying to keep you out of trouble today. I don't know

how to do it again. Now, go on.

There will always be kids like that who will mess things up for the rest of

them.

I've taught enough of them myself to know that. Well, that's the one thing we

agree on, then.

I'm as opposed as you are to one pupil disrupting the needs of others.

It's just that I've got 600 of them to look after.

Well, now you've got 598.

I'm not going, Dad.

I don't want to.

Fine.

Stay if you want to.

At least one of you has the common sense to know a bad thing when she sees it.

It was her hustling us.

She's not the precious little innocent Ruth you think she is, Dad.

She picked up the game so quick and no -one forced her to join us.

She wanted to.

It's something new to learn, isn't it?

And, yeah, I might have enjoyed it. What can I say?

I was just applying the skills you taught me to a real -life situation,

like you told me.

Ruth. What, you want to take that away from me as well?

Besides, it's about time I started having some fun around this dump.

Made some money, too, while I was at it.

Could we talk about this now in my office?

Sensibly.

So, did you manage to get any more sense from Josh, then?

Oh, just some daft falling out over Lauren, apparently.

Sure that's all it was?

What?

You know, kids can often experiment with their sexuality at this age. It's not

uncommon. It was a complete wind -up, Charlie. You heard what Josh said.

You believed him?

Well, I know my own son, and I know he's not that way inclined.

Okay.

You say so.

Proper dodged a bullet with a poker game there, Sharky.

Fisher rumbled it, didn't she? Blew us all out.

How come you and Josh didn't make it anyway? Did you get a tip -off?

I'm not mates anymore.

End of.

Why, what happened? Thought you two were well tied.

Not anymore.

Need to have some kind of lover's tiff or something.

The only gay boy round here is him. Did you get that?

All right, all right. Don't have to check out on me.

Thought you'd do try and touch up or something.

Did he tell you that? No.

He tried to kiss me this morning, if you must know.

Now I'm getting done for it.

No way.

He'll do the same to you and all the other lads if he gets half a chance.

I want you to tell everyone. Spread the word and warn everyone.

No way is he getting away with this.

See how easy it is for him to deny when the whole school knows what a liar he

is.

Hey, buddy.

I'm good, yeah.

OK, last week's modular assignments.

Finally got your grades back.

And clearly some of you need to work on your periodic tables, never mind your

genetics.

Congratulations, Jess, that's a really good effort.

Keep that open, you'll be on for an A next time.

Thanks, sir.

I'm not so grateful you're afraid of a kick.

Look, is everything OK?

It's just, I know you've had trouble balancing schoolwork and home life in

past, yeah?

No, it's fine, honestly.

I wasn't concentrating.

OK.

We need to try a bit harder next time, yeah?

Hello, Claire.

What happened there, Viv?

I thought you were all over this.

Yeah, well, you try looking after your sick dad and his new coursework at the

same time.

It's not like I can take shortcuts to getting good grades like you can.

What are you on about? You know I worked really hard for this.

I've seen you leaving this flat the other day, Jess.

I know there's something going on between you two.

Quiet, please, girls.

Anything that important, you can share it with the rest of the class.

Tina.

You've got to work hard next time on that.

And Ruth.

I'll talk to you about it later, yeah?

Could you just not tell anybody, please?

You are clearly an accomplished teacher and passionate about your children's

education. But why not use that passion and drive to try and fix the problem

rather than attack it?

Are you suggesting I return to state teaching?

There is a vacancy here, if you want it.

Now, think about it, Marcus.

Why limit your talent to Jonah and Ruth?

Jonah is clearly settled here. Ruth is.

heading that way, so you could continue to oversee their education and help me

out with all my other kids at the same time.

Will you give it some thought?

Oh, sorry to interrupt. Karen, can I have a word with you about Vicky

You get back to me when you've made a decision?

What a picture of Dorian Gray again.

More like a picture of Josh is gay by Oscar Bender.

What was that, Amy?

Any more comments like that and you'll be straight to Mrs Fisher. Do you

understand me?

Why are you saying that?

Turns out you kissed a boy and made him gay.

Josh tried to kiss Finn this morning.

Did you not hear the whole school talking about it?

Josh? Quiet, please.

Just get on with your work.

Look how ready he's gone. It must be true.

So what's the problem if he did? Well, there's not a problem because it's not

true, is it, Josh? Why am I the one getting all the grief when he's the gay

Josh, Josh, Josh!

Get on with your work!

Whatever you thought, you've got to promise me that you won't tell anyone.

Tell them what, Jo?

You've not even told me, remember?

Okay, erm, he was a one -off, yeah?

And it happened before I knew he worked here.

So you did?

You slept with him?

I don't believe this.

Vicky, please, just don't say anything.

Why? He's a pervert and everyone should know.

It was a mistake, okay? And it wasn't his fault either.

I told him I was 24.

So?

You'll lose your job, Vicky. What do you care?

It's not your responsibility.

So for me, then?

My mum will kill me if she found out.

You promised me that it's over.

Look, of course I won't tell anyone.

I just don't want to see you getting burnt again, Jess.

Look, you...

You've learnt your lesson, yeah?

Dad?

What's the conclusion?

Are you getting us out or not?

We're still in negotiations at the moment, love.

Maybe give it another week, yeah?

Hey, hey, hey.

Whatever happens, I will always be here for you, OK?

I will never change.

Come in.

Up we go.

Have a good day.

You're sorry, mate, I just... It's not true what they're saying.

Oh? I'm not gay.

Well, it's who you were.

You're sorry, mate, I just... It's not true what they're saying.

Oh? I'm not gay.

Well, it's who you were. But you were thinking it, weren't you?

Same as the rest of them, idiot.

Is this why you had such an issue with me this morning, then?

Look, if something is going on, mate, I've been through similar.

You know I can always help.

Nothing's going on, mate.

Don't worry yourself.

You don't have to make this harder than it needs to be.

It's not worth the heartache, mate, believe me. I'm nothing like you. Will

leave me alone?

Hey, Josh!

What's going on?

I think you need to ask your son that.

What are you playing at, mate?

Nothing, I just... You know that by acting like this, you're making things

for yourself.

I am trying to help you, Josh.

But I don't see how I can do that if you're going to make things difficult

me.

Is there something else going on here that I should know about?

You weren't lying, Dad.

I did kiss Finn this morning.

So it's true.

What they were saying in the class.

What, you think he might be gay?

No.

I don't think so, no.

Well, then why would you do something like that?

I mean, what were you thinking?

It was just a joke.

I was just messing, honestly.

Anyway, I've got a girlfriend, haven't I?

Can't be gay.

All right.

Well, maybe you should concentrate on kissing her.

And not messing around with one of your best mates.

Do you have any spare lever arch files, please?

Is this for you sort of a gitty questionnaire?

And that's the originals on the bulk up here.

I thought you were trying for your own baby anyway. What do you want to be

messing about with this nonsense for?

I have told you, Janice, it is none of your business, OK?

Some right ugly freaks on there.

I don't know how you can do it.

Janice! What?

True.

Finding another woman to have your baby with your husband's sperm.

That's just weird.

Yes. Yes, it is, actually.

But, you know, we don't all have the luxury of choice.

Some of us just have to make do with what we've got.

We can't all knock out babies that we don't even want like they're going out

fashion.

How do you deserve to get pregnant when I can't?

Oh, it's beyond me.

Lauren.

What's all this crap about you kissing Finn, then?

Dunno, he's completely lost the plot.

Really? So is that why you stormed out of class when everyone was talking about

it? No, it's because I don't like being called gay, that's all.

Let me make it up to you.

You said

you wanted to get to know me better, right?

Yeah, but... Why wait until tonight when we can have a warm -up now?

Why the hell do you think you're going? Why does it look like to enjoy myself?

And what about what everybody said earlier?

That you seriously think you can trust him?

Well, it's lies he told me.

Why do you care so much anyway?

It's not like you're looking out for me earlier, is it?

Georgie Porgie's dad?

Wasn't the girls your lads been kissing and making cry?

Yeah. Grantley.

You know better than to pay attention to pupil gossip, Grantley. It's not funny

to joke about pupil sexuality, Grantley. Yeah, especially when it's not true,

which it's not. So just drop it. You've got that. Whatever you think you've

heard, you're wrong. Do you understand me? Easy, Tom.

Start to sound no better than this dinosaur if you carry on like that.

Josh is probably hearing all kinds of crap from the students without getting

from the teachers as well.

It was just a joke. You wouldn't joke about someone's skin colour, would you?

What? It's racist.

And joking about someone's sexuality is homophobic. And it's all unacceptable

now, Bronte.

We've done a bit since the 80s. He's a good lad and he's going to be going

through hell right now.

He needs all the help and support the school can give him.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Look, this was your idea.

You don't want to do it.

I do, it's just... Just what?

What was this to you, some sort of experiment?

I can't do it.

Sorry.

I've been looking for you.

Mr Mead mentioned something about your grades flipping the last couple of

So he's grasping you up to everyone now, is he?

No. He's showing his concern as your teacher.

Which is the concern I share as your headteacher.

It's my job to make sure all our A -level students are on track to achieve

highest grades possible.

And at the moment, you seem to be falling short of that.

Is there something going on at home we can help with?

No, nothing going on, miss.

I just didn't put enough effort in your master's assignment.

I'm sorry.

It won't happen again.

But if you need extra tuition, will you please ask?

Myself and Mr. Mead are only here to help.

Is everything okay?

Lauren?

Lauren, what's happened?

Nothing.

He just wasn't the person I thought he was.

Look, if he's gay, I wasn't the one that turned him.

You got that?

Yeah. We was only messing about.

I just can't believe how stupid I was.

I really liked him.

I thought it could be my first.

He doesn't deserve you, right?

I don't believe this. What the hell was he playing at?

It wouldn't have anything to do with these rumours about him and Finn by any

chance, would it?

Tom?

They weren't just rumours.

He did kiss Finn. He saw me this afternoon.

I tried talking some sense into him.

What if he is gay? How the hell am I supposed to deal with that? Tom.

Oh, come on, Charlie, don't play the bleeding liberal with me. I mean, you

pretend that you'd be okay with it if you found out it was your lad that was

kissing boys.

I mean, I was okay with a gay thing as an ex -man, but when it's your own flesh

and blood... Tom, you can't behave like this. You have to be okay with it.

You're his dad.

I think you need to talk to Josh and deal with it, don't you?

I've already tried that.

Honestly? Look, and what if I don't like what he has to tell me? Well, then you

deal with that as well.

And you get over yourself, because you can't keep running from this, Tom.

Josh is going to be doing enough of that himself.

And you are meant to be the grown -up here.

You try and bury things or ignore them and they only get worse.

Could even drive them away for good.

And believe me, you really don't want that to happen.

I let me hard, boy.

I choked my tears to death.

Right, still joining us for the poker?

Definitely a spare place now. All the wet blankets have been knocked out.

I think I'll pass, actually.

I think I can do without people who can treat their best mates like crap so

easily.

That's ten years or more.

My friends, we've seen it all.

Leave it, Ruby.

They're fine.

Not fine.

That'll be them.

Let's go meet the mums.

It's uncomfy.

I don't quite know what the protocol is for this kind of thing, but... I've

picked up on quite a lot of proofing errors in your application.

Does dyslexia run in your family?

Well,

it's the obvious questions, really.

Where do you come from? What's your background?

Have you suffered with depression?

Addiction. My blood pressure in the last, I don't know, five or ten years.

Not an easy decision for either party.

If it's just a case of finding the right mix of personalities that you gelled.

Would you have a problem doing an IQ or lie detector test at all?

Well, there's one last applicant left, so... Well, it isn't over yet, is it?

Surprise!

Josh, what's going on, mate?

What's with the stuff?

Oh, it's my mum's.

You don't have to worry about me anymore.

Don't be daft. You don't have to do that. I do, Dad.

I can't go back to school and it's obvious you don't want anything to do

me.

Look, Josh, just talk to me for a second. We tried that.

Fat lot of good it did us.

All that crap you said about not treating people differently for their

sexuality.

You can't even look me in the eye when I tell you I kissed Finn. What do you

expect me to do, jump up and down with George?

No, but a bit of help and support would be nice.

You're supposed to be with my dad.

You remember?

I'm sorry, George.

I should have been there more for you, but I just... I can't stand the

thought of you with another mum.

Don't exactly feel me with Joy either at the minute.

It's not like I asked for this any more than you did, did I?

So is that what we're saying then?

I don't exactly feel me with Joy either at the minute.

It's not like I asked for this any more than you did, did I?

So is that what we're saying then?

I bet you are.

I don't know.

I don't know what I'm supposed to be anymore.

What I'm supposed to think.

All I know is that I kissed Finn and I wanted to.

And I wanted him to kiss me back.

So if that makes me gay, then I'll just have to deal with it, won't I?

And if you or anyone else can't, I'll just have to do it on my own.

You don't need to anyway.

I want you to just... Stay here with me, please.

You're my son, and I love you.

I just can't promise that I thought it was going to be easy, that's all.

Well, whatever happens, you're going to have to start coping a lot better than

what you did today.

Because if you can't, I won't be staying around for any second chances next

time.

Funny that.

I always thought you would have lived somewhere bigger.

Oh, check that out.

Mum's got one just like this.

She's got it off her boots, they are.

I seriously doubt that.

It's an antique.

Chris, have a serious mind. It's evidence only.

Yeah, I'm serious.

You can't snub me.

And you couldn't have thought I was that bad a candidate with my application.

Oh, please.

You filled him with a false name.

Still got a baby, though, ain't I?

I mean, you clearly want one bad enough to go through this.

So I've mine.

It's all for two birds with one stone.

Look, I'm being serious, Rube.

I was always a bit off about the surrogacy thing earlier, but I never

desperate you was.

I'm not that desperate.

Thank you. That is enough entertainment for the evening. Go on. Hang on, Ruby.

Hang on.

Can we just have a word out the back?

One minute.

Right, Vicky.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, fine, thanks.

Still here?

Oh, is this about extra tuition?

It's probably a bit late for that, isn't it?

Didn't seem to be a problem in the past.

Only I heard you're not too shy about giving one -on -ones to students these

days. I'm sorry, what are you talking about?

Well, you know what Jess is like.

Can't keep her mouth shut any more than her legs.

Don't worry.

Your secret's safe with me.

Just make sure you start helping me out with my grades in the future, yeah?

Vicky. This way, you get to help me out with any problems I might be having in

my private life, and I'll make sure I keep quiet about yours.

Have you completely lost your mind?

No, I just think that it's an option worth considering.

Right, Ruby, the truth is that you've never exactly been sold on the idea of

surrogacy, have you?

And it's not exactly as if we could afford it.

If I couldn't bear to sort of a baby, there was only half ours.

How am I going to be with one that's 100 % Genesee?

Because adoption's the only real option we've got left.

And this is the offer of a newborn baby right on our doorstep.

See, nature's only a small part of the equation.

It's 100 % ours when we're raising it.

The stars lean down to kiss you And I lie awake and miss you Pour me

a heavy dose of atmosphere

Because I'll doze off safe and soundly, but I'll miss your arms around me.

I'd send a postcard to you, dear, because I wish you were here.

Go on then, Harry.

It's your turn to make a wish.

Anyone got anything they want to say?

Er, yeah.

This is weird.

Jess.

It's all right, Charlie.

Jess is entitled to her opinion.

Why do you think it's weird, darling?

Well, because she isn't here.

And she's not coming back. So I don't understand why we have to have these

stupid vigils for her every year. No, Dad!

You're no better.

You know you think the same as I do, so I don't know why you're pretending that

you don't.

Is it so wrong that I want your sister to come back?

That I hold out hope for her?

Yeah. Because all you ever talk about, you crazy old...

You swamped her when she was here.

And now she's not, you swamping us.

You can hardly blame her for leaving.

Jessie's right.

There's just no point to this anymore. I'm sorry, Karen, but I've tried to act

like everything's all OK, but, you know, it's just not.

You might not be ready to move on, but you know what the rest of us are?

Nothing any of us try and do is ever good enough for you, and then we just

coming back to all this.

No, I'm sorry, Karen, I need to get some air. I don't want to talk about this

any more.

It appears I may have been a bit hasty dismissing your offer, Janice.

Obviously, it is not the surrogacy that we planned, but perhaps we can come to

some kind of agreement.

Though I presume it's not going to be for free.

Is it?

I mean, you know, just bear in mind that I'm on a teacher's salary. I don't want

your money. I keep it.

All I wanted was for the baby to have a proper family.

That's all the payment that I would have needed.

You know what?

Shove your money.

Shove your stupid agreement. No, Denise, no.

Oh,

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.

It's just the most amazing thing that you prepared to do for us.

I suppose this means you need to start being a bit more nice to me from now on,

yeah?

Well, I think that calls for a drink, then, yeah?

Just a soft drink for her.

Well, I'm going to have to keep a closer eye on you from now on, aren't I?

That's my baby you're going to be having.

Yeah?

Am I just expected to be the part -time lover, or...?

Or isn't it another goodbye?

I'm sorry.

I thought she might change once she'd found out, but everything's just the

And maybe I didn't want it to change.

I try to be someone I can talk to.

You know, honestly.

I know that's not her anymore.

If we do it this time, Charlie, we do it properly.

And you need to tell her.

Yeah, of course.

It's just finding the right moment, isn't it?

Hello?

Karen Fisher.

Charlie's wife.

Karen. Call me naive, but I thought you'd be at least 15 or 20 years younger

a hell of a lot prettier.

I presume he's here?

Yes. I found him. Actually, I thought you and I could have a word first.

Look, my kids are in bed. I'm not here to cause trouble.

I've come to tell you that you can have him.

And I wish you well.

And I hope you have better luck with him than I did.

I'm so sorry this has happened, Karen.

Really.

It was never meant to come to this, and I wanted him to tell you.

Oh, you wouldn't.

He's a coward.

He didn't have the bottle.

And that's something you have to live with.

Would you mind if I just said goodbye?

I should have done that the first time I found out.

Karen. Save the crap, Charlie.

I packed a bag for you.

I think that's about it.

What about the kids?

Leave them to me.

I'll handle it.

I won't mention the affair.

I'll find some other excuse for the separation that won't make you look like

such a coward.

And work?

I'll see you tomorrow bright and early.

I never thought I would see you in a place like this.

Oh, here he is.

Sweet boy Stevenson. Looking for a new boyfriend now, you know I'm not

interested. Your mate Vicky.

She knows about us.

Well, don't worry about me, yeah?

I'd like it.

Me and Maria have been talking about me maybe moving into her place.

Very sensible.

Karen.

Karen.

I'm leaving.

I'm getting out of Rochdale for good. Thanks to your dad, it looks like I'm

going today. I took this job.

So we see more of each other. And I came here so we wouldn't... Get in the car

and calm down, please. You're my son, don't you get it? You're not taking that

boy anywhere!

And who's going to stop me, eh? Looks like that's going to be me.

Still to come this evening on BBC HD, our six celebs catch up with the past in

The Young Ones next.

And then at ten, we're back with the Mad Men for a brand new episode of Series

4.

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