Original subtitles

Big in the game.

And we've been, you know, you're right.

Oh, my

God.

Yes, please, please.

What? Yes,

sorry.

We've had a break -in at Waterloo Road School.

Morning. Morning.

Morning, girls.

Did you have a nice... Yeah.

Yeah, it was quiet.

You?

We didn't end up going away, so ours was a bit quiet too, wasn't it?

Everyone always says that, don't they?

Quiet.

Yeah, usually, because it is.

Have you two got exams this morning?

French.

Sociology. Stress getting to you yet?

Not really.

I've had some pretty odd food cravings.

What? Peanut butter and turkey sandwiches, Glow.

That's disgusting.

Well, no point in putting it off any longer, I suppose.

Let's get in there.

Yeah.

I just found out. How was the baguette?

Not a thing.

Really? What about petit cash?

No tap.

Just vandals.

But what a lovely welcome back, huh?

How about you, how was your break?

Oh, fine.

Only fine?

Quite good, actually.

Limey.

Yep.

Had a bit of time with my lad?

Not much, but yeah.

Better than none at all, huh?

Saw Alison a couple of times.

Oh. That's good.

Look,

I never really thanked you.

Not properly, anyway. So, uh, well, I've got you there.

Oh. I think you'll find it oddly appropriate today.

Yeah. Cool.

Pretty well wrapped for a man.

Done with precision as a mathematician.

Wow. Crime and punishment.

See? Totally appropriate for what you've got to do today.

Well, thank you very much.

But we were only visiting, remember?

Yeah, well, some would say it's only a matter of time with Bolton and his

gang. Hence the visit.

You still think you can scare him straight?

Look, he's got 18 months before he enters the real world.

He thinks it's all a game, but we know he's got talent worth night for him.

Still, we're taking him out of the mocks.

Do you really think these boys keep me sound serious?

No, but they should do.

They should matter to everyone in this building.

But I'm on my own there.

Come on, don't be a martyr.

Anyway, they can sit there when they get back.

And they might take them more seriously after the trip.

No, I thought you were visiting a prison, not Lorde.

This is going to be a breeze, you know.

Everyone else on the exams while we're having a trip?

Yes, sir, please.

So what?

Yeah, it's not exactly what I'm told, is it, sir?

No, it's better.

Whatever.

Serious, man, we'll have a right laugh. I think so, cos that's not what Miss

Mason told my mum and dad.

Yeah, well, Mason don't know what I know.

And what's that?

We're going to Castle Ashford, Nick, right?

Yeah, sure.

Well, Dad always reckoned Castle was the cushiest nick of the lot. This is going

to be a breeze, man.

Will your dad be there?

He's been moved, innit?

Yeah. But he always said Castle was the place to be. It's a seriously easy

stretch. I'm telling you, there's nothing that Mason can show me in there.

Nothing.

Feeling confident?

What about the trip? Yeah.

Yeah, it's going to be great.

Really?

Well, I'm a little bit nervous, but as it was my suggestion.

No backing out now anyway, is there? Yeah.

Well, good luck then.

All right, mate?

Good break?

Yeah, it was quite... It was nice. Yeah.

Listen, tonight's parent evening.

I need some help.

I want to up the numbers and I need someone personable to do a bit of phone

bashing. I would have asked Steph.

She's too busy gadding about in France.

Oh, fundraising. The phrase is fundraising.

Yeah, no worries. I'm sure I can fill Steph's shoes.

Brilliant. Bridget's got a list of all the non -replies in the office.

Thanks.

Oi, I've changed my mind. Our boatman's not going on this trip.

Right, well, I'm afraid you're going to have to take that up with Miss Mason.

Right.

I'm telling you, Britain's a doddle. That's not what my Uncle Dermot said.

Yeah, but he's a mentalist.

Dad's next got a gym, TV, room, pool table.

So is your dad like the top dog then?

Of course.

No one call him that.

You've seen too many films.

I've got to keep going on the trip with her.

Right.

Any get then?

Need the key, sir.

Alec.

It's really late. Have you got the time to score me? Yes.

Well, you'd better get a move on then, wouldn't you?

Go on.

Bolton?

Bolton, can you unlock the door, please?

Bolton, can you unlock the...

He's just too excited. I mean, he thinks it's going to be a holiday, you know,

where he can muck about.

I know, but that's why he thinks about everything, Candice.

I mean, that's the whole purpose of the trip.

I don't care. I don't want him to go.

Fine. Fine.

But at least tell me the real reason, because I know... I know that Bolton's

dad's in prison.

Might be.

Might not be.

That's what I tell Bolton to stop him asking questions.

I don't know where his dad is, and I don't want him to know where we are.

I thought, you know, out of sight, out of mind.

But this Christmas, when he answered a word from his dad, I found myself making

all these excuses.

And I think this trip, I think it might be just...

Bringing up too much for him.

You could just tell him the truth.

I just don't think that it's doing Bolton any favours, pussyfooting around

He has got serious behavioural problems.

Oh, I'm to blame, eh? Blame parents?

Yeah, and I blame the school, and I blame society, and I'll blame Gordon

If it'll make you feel any better, Candice, we can play this blame game all

if you want to.

OK.

Okay, you can go.

You will not regret that.

And I think you'll find some serious improvement.

They blocked me out the minibus.

Danielle, I need a word.

I'm chasing up parents' evening forms. We don't know whether your mum's coming

or not.

I can tell you she's not coming.

Why not?

Because I don't want to.

She doesn't like driving at night.

Makes her nervous.

I see.

Well, if ever she wants to talk to any of the teachers... Yeah, yeah, that's

right.

What's up?

Nothing, come on.

Aren't you examed?

Yeah.

You have it?

Not really.

I've done my audition.

Glad someone has.

You've been backing off, haven't you?

No, just finding it hard to concentrate.

I'd say I've had that problem.

In fact, she found it pretty easy to concentrate without any annoying

distractions.

OK, everybody in.

Miss Shackleton?

I'm sitting in on the locker's end.

I'm a special needs student.

Good idea.

Are you all right, Darren?

Just let me know if you need anything.

Thank you.

Are you nervous?

Yeah. That's not going to help your dyslexia, is it?

You just remember those breathing techniques, okay?

You'll be fine.

Go on.

I'm sorry about your living. It could have been worse. I couldn't have decided

to drive off.

I've got the keys.

I've got all the spares today.

Out!

I said get out!

So you think it's funny?

You better laugh, Ian. Well, I'm not!

Do you know what everyone said in the staff room when they heard that you were

visiting a prison?

They said, best place for them.

And lo and behold, before you even leave the school, you are proving them right!

Fine.

Where are you going?

Home. Not much point in me being here if you often become such a waste of space,

is there, lads?

No, you're quite right. There's absolutely no point in you being here

change your behaviour.

That's what I keep saying.

So I'll make you a deal.

I'm listening.

You can drop out.

But only after you've been on this trip.

And if you still think that school's a waste of your time after that, then I'm

off your case.

Is that a deal?

Deal.

Get in.

All of you, get back in.

Cheer up. We'll win this one.

you may begin.

Good luck.

Quiet.

Exam conditions.

I said quiet.

I can't answer the question.

What? I can't answer this question. It doesn't make any sense.

Then miss it out and move on to the next.

I can't do that. I have to finish what I started, but I can't do it.

So this first question isn't what she expected.

Right. Enough.

Out.

No, but there's still time left.

Makes no difference. You've already failed for disturbing the exam. Out.

But I didn't mean to.

But you did.

Out.

Sorry.

All right, show's over, go on with it.

I will see.

What's happened?

I couldn't answer the question.

Okay.

Why are you out here?

I had to come out. I was disturbing everyone else.

But I couldn't help it.

I know.

Why don't you come with me, huh?

Welcome to a mindless prison, Castellos.

You must be Miss Mason. Hi.

Mr. Wilding. Morning.

I'm Governor O 'Brien.

You can call me Peter.

These are your visitors for the day.

Good morning.

We'll make a thought in a moment, but first I need to point out some health

safety issues.

What are they for?

It might be boring, but I need you to listen.

Now, on this visit, you'll be accompanied at all times by myself and

prison officers.

You'll do whatever my officers tell you to do when they tell you to do it.

Now, you might get some verbal abuse when you walk through the prison, but

respond, eh?

Finally, you'll not under any circumstances give to or take anything

prisoners.

Any questions?

Okay, let's go in.

So what are people in here for?

All sorts.

Burglary, drug offenses.

Murder? There are some violent offenders in here.

Obviously, I can't discuss individual cases.

Okay, if you'll follow me in.

Okay, put your bags and coats on here.

I'm afraid you can't take them in.

Then we'll need you to empty your pockets over here and slip your shoes

What for?

Everyone has to be searched before they go into the main building.

Including your teachers. Really?

Um, I don't... No, I mean everyone.

All visitors from babies and prams to little old ladies.

So come on, Miss Mason.

Is that a good example?

Excuse me, I've just got a tape.

We'll be able to use your phone in there.

That's fine.

Hi, Richard. Yeah.

And what file?

No, I haven't.

I don't want to take my file.

I'm sure it's there.

No, I'll find it when I get back.

You next, Miss Mason?

Right.

Well done, everybody.

Put your pens down, leave your papers on the desks, and off you go.

Don't look so worried.

All right, darling.

So, did you really have a good holiday?

Yeah, it was all right.

You?

Well, it was pretty tough on the girls.

First Christmas without Izzy.

Yeah, of course.

We tried to keep it jolly, you know.

I think that's why they got so much revision done.

Take their minds off it.

Well, at least that's something.

Well, they would have been pleased to see it.

More like shocked and stunned.

I was going to call you.

Yeah.

I picked up the phone a couple of times, too.

Did you?

Yeah. And I, um, thought better of it.

Right. Well, uh, very sensible.

I'll see you later.

See you.

This is Ewing.

Houses more than 40 prisoners.

Although it was really only designed to hold 30.

That must make things uncomfortable.

Definitely.

But our resources are just on all fronts.

Sounds familiar.

How long do the inmates spend in their cells?

About 23 hours a day in some cases.

How would you like to spend all day every day staring at the same four

I'd do anyway.

Never leave my bedroom in a school already.

Ah yeah, but police cells don't come equipped with playstations and DVD

Neither does my bedroom.

What's all this then?

You were told about the school trip coming round today, Rob.

Oh.

So you lot are the reason I'm stuck in here all day.

I've had a good look around, have you?

What's it been so far?

It's all right.

Oh, it's been a while since I've heard a woman's voice.

We're moving on.

Moving on?

Found out her name yet?

That's what you call sexy.

I like to put a name to my fantasies.

Gets me all warm at night.

That's it. I laugh.

Funny, isn't it?

Looking out. like I'm some wild animal in a zoo.

Only I don't. Find it! Put it!

That's enough.

Calm down. Calm down!

I've been in there since last night. I want out!

Get me out!

Get them down to the kitchens. I'll sort this out.

Boys,

are you fine? Are you okay?

They need you out there.

I thought we were supposed to have two officers with us at all times.

We'll be okay in here.

You reckon?

They won't do anything that would risk their jobs in here.

I don't want jobs in prison. If it's a choice between spending 23 hours a day

a 10x10 or peeling a few spud, put it this way.

You can put it on your hairnet.

This is as good as it gets in here.

I thought your dad said the food was good. This is worse than the crap Louis

dishes up.

I don't eat this rubbish.

Guess his maester bring him something in or gets one of the guards to call out

for Chinese, innit?

Yeah, right.

What would you know?

Danielle?

Just to let you know, I've spoken to your mum. She is going to come to

evening. Apparently she didn't get her note.

You've got to get it, Sarah.

Maybe so.

See, you've nothing to worry about, you know.

As far as I can see, your work's good.

Your behaviour's passable most of the time.

Unless you're concerned about what another teacher might say.

Are you sure? Because if you are, we can talk about it. No, it's okay.

I look forward to seeing her then.

We are summoned by him, and for what?

Why, Eddie?

Before, your guess is as good as mine.

Right.

What was that?

Nothing.

You didn't want your mum to come in?

No, sir.

What's wrong with her?

Nothing. She's fine.

Is that true?

I wouldn't know. I haven't seen her.

Why haven't you seen your mum?

We only go to your house when she's out.

Just leave it, will you?

What do you think about that French exam?

Pretty easy, huh?

That easy?

Yeah, well, I mean, it's challenging in places.

But what's the point of it?

I need your help.

I know.

It's a little paper.

I ask people to write articles about what interested and inspired them.

It seems the only things are inspired by our big brother, or the X -Factor, or

other such analysis.

Just not. Yeah, well, maybe I am, but do you want to read a 500 -word article on

posh and Bex's matching tattoos?

Because I'm not sure that's what Miss Mason wanted.

Please? Any ideas?

What about something on the local music scene? Like good venues, local record

labels, that kind of stuff.

Yeah, that's good. It's really good.

Have you got a free period this afternoon?

After lunch.

Great, well, I'll see you then.

I never said I'd help you write it.

OK.

What's up with this, mate?

I told you, he doesn't.

Give it a... You've had all night.

It's a place to dump.

What a loser.

Yeah, my dad ain't a loser.

What are you saying, that?

I don't think so, no.

Oh, what you're saying is that, you know, this place ain't a dust.

Maybe your dad was just lying.

You don't lie.

All right, mate, we believe you. And I ain't told you everything he said.

I mean it.

Dad says the best thing about being in a nick is that you can score.

Whenever and whatever you want.

You're no drug.

How? It's a prison.

The guards bring you in, don't they? For what?

Money. How much do you reckon a prison guard earns?

Not much, and I'm telling you, I'm not leaving here empty -handed.

How? I'll find a way.

Okay, boys, if you're finished, you can clear up. And, Dominic, you can wash,

the rest of you can dry.

All part of the prison experience.

You don't like washing up?

Toilets could do with a scrub.

What's this?

Don't like me?

Got any gear?

Doesn't matter what it is, where it's... Look, man.

I'm not holding.

No, it's cool, man.

I've got it.

Well? Not carrying. Come on, boys, we're on the move.

Let's get going.

Thank you for coming.

I just wanted to remind everyone that this is exam week.

Yeah, we have noticed.

Really? Not from what I observed this morning.

Yeah, we saw you doing your little inspection tour. Most of you seem to be

it for catching up on lesson plans.

Or bopping away to music.

Some of you, who shall remain nameless, were too busy flirting with each other

to notice what was going on in their own classroom.

Just a minute.

We're not sitting the exams. It's not us that's supposed to be under scrutiny

here. Good job.

Because you'd have failed.

Can you explain to me what happened with Carla Bentham?

Oh.

She had one of her funny turns.

No.

Don't you mean she responded badly to the stress?

Like I said.

But you knew that was a possibility.

I spoke to you about coping strategies before the exam.

And excluding her from the classroom wasn't one of them. Excuse me, but I was

all out of patchouli oil and whale music.

Well, you could have just talked it down quietly.

Now, how am I supposed to do that under exam conditions?

The mock exam.

So? So, that's the point of mock exams, to ease the kids' fears, show them that

it's not as bad as they imagined.

It's not my problem. It's everybody's problem.

You lot are supposed to show that the exams actually matter.

Be a supportive presence.

Some of those kids revise really hard, too hard, some of them. Oh.

Poor little stressed -out souls getting ulcers before they're 18.

Do me a favour.

So you don't think the exams are stressful?

No, not any more. It's all open text and calculators.

All I was allowed in an exam was a biro.

Anyone else feel like this?

Well, I have to say, Eddie, in my experience with Chloe and Mika, the kids

wind themselves up. Exams aren't as tough as they used to be.

Yeah, that's why the pass route's gone up.

So, you all reckon you could just walk them?

Care to prove it?

You've all got to stick around this afternoon anyway for the parents'

What? You want us to sit an exam?

Not if you don't think you can pass.

Oh, no, I'll pass. I just don't need to prove it.

Right.

OK. A bottle of whisky to every teacher who gets a grade B or above.

Interested parties, meet me in the cooler after school.

You're on. Right.

I want more whiskey.

Okay, so I was thinking we should start with a ring round. Try and get some

records to review.

Yeah, or free gig tickets so we can go see the music live.

Ooh, good idea.

I'll call the Dry Dot Pub in town. They have live music on a Friday.

Friday's good for me.

Me too.

I could pick you up.

Okay. And bring you back, of course.

We could go for a drink.

Something to eat.

What?

I should have known.

This isn't about the paper or an article, is it?

It is.

I just thought... What?

That I'd be stupid enough to fall for your crap again.

I just want to be friends.

I think you'll all agree that prison is no picnic.

Yeah, right.

But just in case you still have any illusions, we thought you might like to

from two people who know.

People who are inmates.

They can answer any questions that you might still have.

You know him?

Of course.

Thanks for coming.

Would you like to introduce yourself?

Colin.

In for possession with an intent to supply.

Is that, erm, drugs?

No, just kittens.

It's Rob.

GBH. That's grievous bodily harm for those that don't know.

OK, boys, fire away.

Ask questions.

Mind your manners.

How long you in for?

Five years.

Depends how good I am.

You been in prison before?

Do I look like an amateur?

I've spent more time in here than I have at home.

It's my first time.

So, how did you get into it?

What? Well, being a criminal and that.

It's not something I planned.

Let's just say it all went a bit wrong after I left school.

Sorry, Carlton, what do you mean?

I left before my exams, because I couldn't see the point.

All my mates got jobs except me, so I had nothing to do, no one to talk to.

So I started hanging out with the lads off to your state.

They were into everything.

Dealing, thieving, taxing, you name it. So I joined in.

That's about it, really.

So what's the best thing about being in here?

I've thought about that.

I suppose it's that I don't have to listen to my missus going on at me all

long while I'm in here.

She's a big gal.

Rob. Well, that's the reason why I'm in here.

That's enough.

Any more questions?

What's the first thing you're going to do when you leave here?

Go check my mates.

So don't you have a name here, Rob?

What about you?

Me?

I think I'll go and pay my missus a visit.

Do a lot of the prisoners get home to find that their wives or girlfriends

moved on?

Do you remember that? Well, nothing really. It was just deep.

I'm trying to show the boys the dangers... Trying to show them what?

missus is out there messing about while I'm stuck in here?

No, I wasn't suggesting anything. It's just, you know, I've heard... You hear

stories, don't you, about prisons going home to kids that aren't there? What,

you're saying that my kids aren't mine? No, no, no. No, of course not.

You said you knew which thing you were saying. Tell them what you're saying!

Hey! Come on!

Hey!

Why do you have to do that? Why?

You dirty... Come on!

Hey! Come on!

Hey! I look so confused.

You get me? All right, down, down.

All right, all right.

Someone get an ambulance.

Take them out.

I'll get the prison doctor.

All right.

Come on, man, it was wicked.

It was wicked, man.

It's the way I do it, I'm conscious.

It's the matter we have.

So what?

Just give it a rest, will you? It's not funny. No, you shut up, man. You what?

You heard.

How's Mr. Wilding?

He's on his way to hospital with internal injuries.

Come on, boys, let's get out of here. Let's get back to school.

Not me.

No, Bolton, not now.

I'm not coming back.

Did you think some crap food and a couple of sob stories would straighten

out? I hoped so, yeah.

No, you've seen the light of me.

That's a promise.

Fine.

That's fine.

I did make a deal with you.

I'm really sorry about that.

Come on, boys, let's go.

Actually, before you do, we need you all to commit to another threat.

Prison policy.

Oh, right. Anything you need?

I'll set you first.

Get you out of here quicker.

I don't think so.

Why not?

I don't want him putting his hands on me.

I didn't matter to you before. What's your problem?

Nothing.

That's not mine.

You set me up.

I don't think so.

Where do you get this?

You certainly didn't have it with you when you arrived.

You do know that you committed a serious offence.

It's only a wrap. I don't care if it's a brick of the stuff. I don't tolerate

drugs in my prison.

Do you understand me?

Oh, miss.

Look, yeah, it's just a little bit.

No, Belton.

Like you said, you're not my pupil anymore.

What? What happens now, then?

Take him to a holding cell.

Whoa, whoa, hold on just a minute. I sell, but I didn't do nothing.

You are Miss Mason.

Lads, tell him, mate.

Or you're going to sell out, mate.

Miss, we didn't do anything.

Honestly, mate, can't we just go home?

I think that's a very good idea, boys. Come on. I'm afraid not.

I've already found drugs on one of them.

You can't do that. I haven't got no drugs. Neither do I. I promise.

I need you to come with me, Miss Mason.

Oh, you think I'm ready to do time?

Because I was born ready?

Whatever. No biggie.

See ya.

Frank.

Looking good.

Thanks.

Is that it?

No, I...

How did you, um... Oh, God.

What is it?

You've turned me back into an 18 -year -old.

I'm going to wake up with acne and loads of Stone Roses posters on my bedroom

wall. Oh, that's all right.

I quite like the Stone Roses.

They're going to be cool.

OK.

How about dinner tonight?

Yeah. I'd like that.

Great.

Well, I'll see you in Burger King at 8 o 'clock.

I'll be the one in the Oasis T -shirt.

Right.

Is that it?

I haven't had time to... You all right, mate?

Don't be mean, old punk.

Couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?

Back off, man. It weren't like that. They searched me. I didn't have my

Your pocket?

Are you some kind of idiot?

Don't call me an idiot, man. Shut your mouth!

Thanks to you, I could be looking at an even longer stretch now.

I didn't even want his guards outside.

He's dead.

I'm not bothered anyway. It was CCTV up in there.

That's if you've even turned on.

Otherwise it's just you and me.

Me.

Look at this.

Amazing what you can achieve with a bribe.

It's a prize, not a bribe. Tell yourself what you need to, Grantley. Are you

ready? Let me just get on with it.

Okay, you've got half an hour to answer one essay question.

Exam conditions.

No talking.

No passing notes.

No outside help. I wasn't going to use... Begin.

Hang on a minute. This is... Shush. No talking. This isn't an English exam. I

don't remember saying there was going to be.

I don't know anything about physics.

It's been years since I did geography.

Oh. You only know the one subject.

GCSE candidates have to do at least five.

I thought it was a breeze.

Don't know the born and all that.

Ridiculous. Did I mention I was going to post the results on the school notice

board? So a walkout constitutes an instant failure.

Anybody feeling a little bit of pressure?

Cool it, then.

Let me out!

Let me out now!

You can't keep me in here!

Please, man!

OK, boys, relax.

Come on. Peter's given us permission to leave.

But not just yet. Wait a minute.

There's someone I want you to meet.

Let me introduce the Jailbird Theatre Company.

And the star of today's show is...

Mr Wilding. No.

You honestly think we'd let you lot loose in a real prison?

It really is.

You were knocked out.

It's called acting, Dominic.

Cool.

I don't get it.

What you just saw, guys, was a performance, a piece of theatre.

I am Rob Worsley. I have spent a lot of time in prison.

All of us have.

You? Yep.

Peter and I set up the Jailbird Theatre Company five years ago. Twelve former

prisoners. And to show kids like yourself... The reality is a prison

But it's a real prison.

Just one wing of it, and it's only while it's being refurbished we've got it for

two months.

Where's Bolton? I mean, what have you done with him?

Waterloo Road.

What?

That's what school you go to, innit?

The man they couldn't cage, eh?

Mate, it was all a very frightening experience for us a lot, wasn't it, lad?

How was it for you, Bolton?

I'm not going to lie to you. They tried to break me.

Oh, yeah?

Putting the frighteners on, putting me in a cell with a murderer and that. Oh,

so Carlton's a murderer now, OK?

Well, you know what I mean.

What? He's not a murderer.

He's not in a prison.

Are you mental?

It was all a cell.

The actors.

Nah, because Mr.

Wilding... Yes, Bolton?

What?

Yeah, obviously, that's what I was saying, innit?

No, you wasn't.

No, I was saying that they wanted me to think he was a murderer, but I knew,

innit? Yeah, right.

Keep telling yourself that, mate.

And stop writing, please.

Jasmine.

Just a minute.

Thank you, all of you. You'll get your results tonight.

Could be worse.

Could make you wait three months like the pupils have to.

I'm dead.

I don't know, but my mum will kill me if I'm trialled.

Thank you.

What about you, Bradley?

I'm off.

See you around.

Wait, wait, wait. Before you start, I want to show you something.

I knew there'd be a catch.

No catch.

I just want to show you a DVD.

Yeah?

All right, lads? Enjoy that?

Glad to be back.

Yeah. I want to see Bolton get pumped.

Back to reality tomorrow?

Yeah, I know. Your maths exam.

Supposedly better go revise, eh?

Really?

Now before I play this, are you absolutely sure you don't want to change

mind about coming back to school? No way.

You said that he wasn't turned on.

Apparently the best bit's about ten minutes in.

Wait a minute.

There.

Are you crying there?

It's hard to tell without sound.

Bolton. I know you're feeling stupid.

Why'd you do that?

So you could all have a good laugh later on in the staff room. No, it was never

about that.

You must be right, Appie.

Finally showing me up.

Hey, you didn't give me any other choice, Bolton. I had to find a way to

through this macho crap.

I want to speak to the real Bolton. This is him. No, it's not.

It's what everyone thinks you are or what you want them to think.

What am I really?

You're a kid.

You're a kid who gets pushed from pillar to post by his mum. And despite what he

says, he hasn't heard from his dad for ages. Shut up about my dad! About my

Hey, all right, enough!

It's all right.

It's all right. But more than that...

You are someone who thinks he's a waste of space and is quite happy to prove

that to himself and everyone else on a daily basis. And all that, all that

is actually quite impressive.

Eh? Because to pull that off, day after day, must take so much strength and

bloody -mindedness.

In fact, do you know what I think?

You could do anything you want to. Yes, I know, roll your eyes. You've heard it

all before, haven't you?

I'm not using it as a stick to beat you with. I am guaranteeing it.

You give me the rest of this year and you'll be on your way.

What do I have to do?

Turn up and listen.

Is that it?

Yeah. That's all I've ever asked of you or anybody else.

You're making your life hard for yourself. You're fighting everything

constantly.

You must be knackered.

But if you learn to work the system, to work with it, yeah, you'll be

surprised about what you can get away with. Hey, look, you let me run a

Will I see you tomorrow?

Maybe.

Good enough for now.

How'd it go?

And you're okay?

What's that?

Good.

Yeah. Yeah?

Where's Dad?

Home.

I don't know, son. And I don't want to know.

I, uh... I didn't want to spend the rest of my life being hit.

What did you tell me?

Because I knew you really loved him and... And I didn't want to spoil it.

I mean, if you want to find him... No.

We don't need him.

Get off.

What?

See you later.

Not

as

easy as you thought, was it?

Well, it has been over 30 years since I last sat an exam.

I'd have breezed it if it had been English.

I might be a bit rusty on my other subjects.

Oh, but there's so much easier these days.

Yeah, all right, all right, you made your point.

Anyone get that bottle of whisky?

Only the one.

Good turnout.

Yeah, better than I expected. Well done.

What's the matter?

Well, I, uh, I couldn't understand why Danielle Harker was trying to stop my

coming to parents' evening.

Oh. Yeah.

What are you wearing?

Uh, clothes.

Seriously, I don't know.

I'm like a geek.

Oh, shut up.

No, really.

You're wearing straight hair.

You are wearing straight hair.

I'm not allowed to.

My mum says.

Don't even.

Oh, just get away from me.

Uh, tomorrow afternoon, my classroom.

I don't understand.

I would like you to come to my classroom tomorrow afternoon.

Why? You can re -sit your mock exam.

You said I failed.

I've re -considered. Look at that question. I can't answer it.

I've asked Miss Shackleton along to help. Happy?

Not really.

But I will see you tomorrow.

Smashing.

Can I ask?

It's the church we go to.

You have to dress respectfully and with decorum.

I see.

I don't... I don't usually mind, you know, at home or at church.

Everyone else dresses like old ladies.

But when I come to school... What?

People who think less of you?

Of course.

You know, there is an obvious speech I could make here about what's on the

inside being more important.

Yeah.

But it's a load of crap.

Seriously. I mean, do you like wearing a tie?

No. I never have a ton.

Why?

It's just not me. Too formal.

Okay.

Listen.

If there's any consolation, tell all of us we can get over it.

Even Alicia.

Maybe.

Sarah's made real progress this year.

You've worked very hard.

You should feel proud of yourself.

Thanks, Merce. He's been like a different kid since you took him under

wing.

Well, that's kind of you to say.

It's true.

Oh, you had such a struggle with his dyslexia, didn't you?

Well, there's so many different techniques now.

There's no need for anyone to struggle.

So let's keep up with good work, shall we?

Yes, ma 'am.

And, er... Thank you.

Pleasure. Thanks.

Are you ready, Miss Shackleton?

We're going to be late. Yeah?

Yeah, we'll be off. So, er, thanks again.

You're welcome.

See you. See you, ma 'am.

Bye.

Yep.

So what'd you do?

You get changed and away to school?

Yeah.

Where?

The public bog is down the high street.

Ew.

Mingan.

Tell me about it.

You know what you should do?

What? I'm going to get changed at my end.

I'll even clear your drawer out, so you don't have to hide your stuff at home.

Bolton, what's happening for you?

Well, you want to keep it just in case?

I don't think I'll need it, will I?

Nope.

Hang on.

Hang on. What is that?

What?

Thank you.

Hi.

The moment of truth.

What do you mean?

Well, we're about to do that thing, aren't we?

No. Carpe. No, no. Carpe.

Well, are we? Yeah.

Definitely. It's traditional.

And what happens is...

If we're just friends, we'll end up going Dutch.

Very equal opportunities.

Yeah.

Um... If you think there's something more going on, then you'll get on that

and insist on paying.

And what if I just sit back and let you pay?

Then we'll never go out to dinner again.

So...

Put your purse away, love.

You've pulled.

What now?

What?

Well, um... This is really lovely, but... You could go

back to mine.

You all right?

I'm sorry.

I've been too forward. No, no, no, no.

Not at all.

I really need to be getting back.

Yeah, now. The girls are expecting me.

Hey, I didn't think you two would still be up. We were waiting for you.

So, how was your day?

Any gossip?

No.

Chopper's a remote.

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