Original subtitles

Tell me something I don't know.

Listen, that's how it's before.

They'd get up and go along.

And we're in so deep to cut you off.

Do you realise what time it is? Oh, I'm sorry, but you dumped me alarm clock

along with everything else.

I asked you to shift your stuff, you didn't, so don't even go there with a

trip. You put my photos in there.

Maybe I didn't want the memories, Tom. They weren't your memories.

Here.

It's yours, I remember you buying it. For you.

I wasn't the one that had a craving for pistachio ice cream.

But I guess our baby's another memory that you don't want.

I'm just trying to move on, Tom.

Yeah, I'm getting that.

Stop making out like you're the only one getting hurt!

It's these.

Postural tremors.

When you're sitting or standing and you just start to go.

Is that what's next?

Or do you get either them or the intention tremors?

Is that not how it works?

It's completely understandable that you should want to research the symptoms

and... possible progression of the condition, but it's not generally very

helpful. But it is. It helps me. I'm the sort of person, I need to know what's

coming. You may get none of these symptoms.

You may have some and not others.

Things change.

Every single medication represents a breakthrough at some point or another.

So I just sit back and wait?

Yes. Because the reality is you may manage this condition with minimal

to your lifestyle.

And pre -empting the onset of worsening symptoms will only leave you in a state

of... Continual anxiety?

Yeah, but I am.

Okay.

You've been prescribed antidepressants since you and your husband split, and

you're still taking these?

Yeah.

And they've helped?

Yeah.

It's been, um, sleeping that's been a bit of a problem for me.

I can prescribe something to help you sleep.

This is only for the short term, though.

And I'd like you to consider contacting the MS therapy centre.

I think it's really important that you see how well MS can be managed.

You're going to smile and it all goes away.

I'm not pretending that this is easy.

But obsessing over symptoms which may never occur is not a better alternative.

They are right.

I'm going to take my half full glass and have a good old swig from it.

We find nothing in our records to suggest Miss Shackleton would be

the post of teaching assistant.

So it's official.

I'm not a perv.

You're 100 % about this then, are you?

I thought we were sorted.

Well, we've got to find a replacement for you yet, haven't we?

Then there's the kids.

I mean, it's not like it says on the packet, you know.

I've seen teachers, experienced teachers, walk out of here with tears in

eyes.

I wouldn't want to see the same thing happen to you.

Good morning, everyone.

Just say sorry for what you've got.

I didn't really get on with this book that you give us.

I thought you liked it.

Well, um, what was it you didn't like?

Just the way it was written.

Just Star seemed to roll into one.

You know, like he was a bit mad or something.

Okay, um, well, it's that rolling into one that makes the catcher in the rice

unusual.

It's what helps you get inside a young man's head.

And that's exactly what I want you to do today.

I want you to take something ordinary, something you do every day, and like J

.D. Sanger did, using language and structure, and make that completely

and different.

All right?

Now, you can be as imaginative as you want, okay?

Mad old bird now.

Shouting off. What have you seen?

That's all crazy, but we don't care.

I think dogs everyone have a line in.

OK,

I want you all to keep taking notes.

Keep talking.

You're all doing very well.

I'll just be back in a minute.

No, it's true, my dad's name had it. They get these prolapses where they just

lose it.

Yeah, but Miss Dickie's not going to be like that for ages. She only just got

it. Yeah, but because her brains are big, there'll be more of it. You don't

know what you're talking about.

I bet you don't know what she's got, right?

What do I do? It's that, um, that brain thing. That B .S .D. B .S .D.? That's

not what Miss has got. That's what Carol's got.

Miss?

This girl did not have...

He said we were supposed to use our imaginations to... Don't be so insolent.

Sit down!

Where is Miss Dickey?

She didn't look like she was feeling too well.

Did she say where she was going?

Stay sitting and get on with your work.

And good morning to you and all. You don't know where Lorna is, do you?

Little bit left field, but, um, a classroom.

What, is everything all right?

Lorna!

I would like to think I passed the straight... Uh, have either of you seen

Dickey? No.

Uh, no reason.

What do you think she's got?

Checked everywhere, no sign.

Is the mobile still switched off? Yeah.

Great.

Skeleton staff in the English department.

I can't believe it. She would just go without saying anything.

Do you think she's all right?

The car's not there. She must be well enough to drive.

If not, the seat.

Look. Can't we just stick Lorna's class in the assembly hall, put a DVD on? Not

unless you want them to watch a DNA, a journey through life.

We're a teacher down in the science department. The hall's news for the

overflow. We need a supply in for Lorna. I've maxed out on the supply budget.

Anyway, I thought you said they just sit on their backside eating up fun.

Jack, we have not got enough teachers for today.

You're free next period. Oh, Jack, come on. I've already covered five classes

this week.

Man to get in at seven as it is to prep me own lessons.

Could Tom take them in with his?

Oh, right, yeah.

Mixing year 8 with year 10, what's that? 50 minutes where no one knows anything.

And what's your suggestion? We send them home?

If that's what it takes to make this government address the issue of why

teachers don't want to come to school anymore, then yes, actually, I think it

should. Look, if you two can stop sniping for just a moment, I think I

have the solution.

Essentially, your role is supportive.

Listen to them read, help with words, prompt.

But you are not leading the class as purely additional support.

Of course.

We've several children in this class with special educational needs.

And, of course, the requisite number statemented with attention deficit

disorder. I mean, they bore easily and disrupt the class.

I've actually read quite a lot about ADHD.

It's not as simple as getting bored.

Well, I'm sure your research will prove invaluable.

Look, Andrew, if you have issues about my abilities here, then let's get them

over with now.

My issue is having to waste valuable lesson time getting what are usually

substandard teaching assistants up to scratch.

Well, maybe you need to work on your approach.

Because from where I sit, Waterloo Row needs all the help we can get today.

OK, so we're going to carry on practicing for the spelling bee.

Now,

I think Miss Dickie's already left you with a list of words.

Pack it in.

Any news on Lorna? No, her.

We'd better just carry on with this spelling prep.

If you can focus onto your mind over there, then I can crack on with my lot.

right.

OK, my lot.

We're going to carry on reading Psychopath on page 28.

Miss Dickey's class, you test each other in your pairs.

But do it quietly.

The rhythm made her dance.

It's a hard one, that.

Shall I show you how to remember it?

Rhythm helps your hip move.

See?

So whenever you think about rhythm, think about having a dance.

Sir? Sir?

What rhythm, sir?

R -H -Y -T -H -M. Rhythm.

Yeah, sir. Fantastic, Jamal.

Hey.

Well, I can't manage your fanfare, but I can get you a cup of coffee.

Cheers.

I never thought so fucking nervous.

You've got Jamal Peters picturing you every time he tries to spell rhythm.

It's too late to get nervous.

Poor kid.

Yeah, you were fantastic.

You know, Lorna's been trying with Jamal for months.

Maybe you should get Jack to put you in for higher level.

Money's better. I'm sure you could handle it.

Serious? Yeah.

You can find someone else to do his filing. You can come and join us in the

asylum full time.

I'll see you later. I'll see you later.

Ooh!

Planning on becoming a teacher now, Davina?

Oh, it's early days.

But who knows?

I'll have to stretch myself.

Must be like, Jim will fix it in here for you, is it?

Look, Steph.

I know you probably think that I've got Jack wrapped around my little finger.

Oh, it's not Jack I'm worried about, actually.

It's the kids.

I'm not asking for any favours.

I will do all the training.

And that'll protect them, will it?

Kids like Brett Aspinall.

I don't think they teach that kind of training.

Chicken or beef?

Um, neither.

Hmm.

I really like him.

How about we go backpacking? Take you to Thailand.

I'll show you what real noodles are like.

Brett, this is what I'm talking about.

You can afford Thailand.

I can afford these.

I haven't got your kind of money.

Well, you'll have to be dead nice to me then, won't you?

Fuck.

Brett.

Why don't you do it?

Oh, don't mess me about. What did you tell her? I'm going to need a bit more

information. Steph Haydock?

She knows.

I already thought I could trust you. I thought we were meant. We are.

Oh, so what was it then?

Just a little sharing moment? Seriously, I haven't said anything.

Oh, God, you haven't. Um, look, I might have said something.

I thought she acted like she already knew.

I'm sorry, I just thought you could... Do you realise I could lose the chance

moving into teaching because of this? I'm sorry?

It's an accident.

Look. Hadock can't do anything.

Well, she can tell Jack.

So? Deny it.

Who's he going to believe?

Dawker Hadock?

Or the gorgeous bird he's clearly in love with?

I promise you, I won't tell Rimmer anything.

Thank you.

Lorna, where the hell are you?

Call me.

You should have got me on the mobile. We could have had some lunch together.

I wanted to try and clear this.

Well, take a break.

From what I've heard, you deserve it.

Andrew's raving about you.

Well, express satisfaction.

Jack, I need to talk to you.

And that's what girls used to say before they dumped me.

Well? Well, um, Tom was saying that I should think about being a higher -level

teaching assistant.

Lost you for good, haven't I?

I might have known that my filing couldn't compete with the glamour of

I don't know.

I'll need something to keep my feet on the ground, won't I?

What's in the ecstatic heights of living with me?

Jack, have you got a minute? As long as it doesn't involve asking for time off.

It's a bit more serious than that, actually.

It's about Davina.

It's completely unprofessional.

To be honest, I'm really disappointed. I can't believe Lorna would just walk out

like this.

Andrew, I don't know if you've noticed, but she has a lot on her mind right now.

Yeah, of course.

I just wish she'd let us know where she is.

Oh, when she's coming back, is he?

Can I have a word?

Well, the main thing is... He's back now.

Hi, Miss Matt.

Red Hospital!

Oh, come on, Steph.

This is low even for you.

She's been having a relationship with a pupil, Jack. Why would I make something

like that up? Because you're jealous.

What? Oh, don't play the martyr with me. You've been after me for years.

But I'm not interested. You just don't get it, do you? You have got such a high

opinion of yourself. Yeah, I do. And I deserve better off you.

Hey, I'm just thinking about the kids. I'm thinking about the school.

Of course you are.

How long did it take you to come up with this one, eh? I bet you thought you

were on to a winner here, didn't you?

You're not listening to me, Jack. I can't. It's going straight over my head.

I love her.

Do you understand me?

No one I've ever met comes close.

So I'm sorry, but your little smear campaign's not going to work.

Now do me a favour and go.

You've had your last favour from me, Jack.

I've given you the truth.

Your problem if you can't handle it.

Look, I'm really sorry. I know I left you in the lurch.

We managed.

Well, some notice would have been good. You know how it gets round here.

Yeah, um, about that. I was going to speak to Jack first, but he might as

all know.

I'm going.

Hey. What?

As of now.

Well, hang on a minute.

Well, you've got to work your notice.

Life's too short.

What, another term of this? The stress, the kids, the bureaucracy on this money?

She has got a point. Lorna, you need to sit and think about this.

We've had a nightmare today trying to cover you. We'd be seriously stretched

we had to do it for an entire month. We haven't got the budget for it.

Contractually, you are obliged to work out your notice period.

Well, stuff the bloody contract.

Look, I need to take some time out for me, and, well, that's what I'm going to

do. Lorna, look, we really all appreciate how you must be feeling now,

we not come to a compromise over this?

You know what?

I think I've done enough of that.

Fine. I'll go and cover your class.

Look, Andrew.

I'm sorry.

Who the hell do you think you are in this school?

Eh?

Sit down.

Right. Moliere's influence over French culture.

She looks really freaked.

Do you think it's because of... You may deny it.

I'm rubbish at lying. I'm a bright rat.

It's not going to happen.

...meaning hypocrite, is still used in France today.

I think we bothered about her anyway. She cheated on you. Which is why I don't

want to talk about it, OK?

Don Juan!

Me and you minus the baggage, yeah? From the play of the same name. Don Juan, a

man who seduces women under false pretenses and then dumps them.

And believe me, ladies, if you haven't yet come across the Don Juan, give it

time, you will.

Don, I'd be busy tonight, but there's a club.

I can get us in the VIP bar.

Or I could do something that's, like, free. And that's the play I want us to

concentrate on today, so can you... I guess I could try that. Text at page 34.

If you're not interested in learning, Brett, I suggest you leave.

As said, page 34.

I hope you're not planning to bin your oldest friend along with your job. I'll

be. I don't know where I'd be without you.

Oh, don't go there.

Seriously, though, I mean, I know it's not a holiday, but, well, I was a little

bit naughty with my credit card, and I've gone and got to Gorgeous Cottage

the weekend, and I was hoping you'd come too, you know, to kick -start the half

-time. Nah, sorry, I don't intend to do Gorgeous Cottage for the weekend.

I think I like to stay at home more, do the aina, you know, all that sort of

thing. Do you want me to go on?

I would say bring the girls. No, no way. Jimmy's got the girls this weekend.

So we're sorted then.

I was thinking some long walks, some fantastic food and a whole heap of wine.

Oh, and there was me telling much of the day in a chicken madras.

Do you mind not saying anything to Tom?

You know how paranoid he gets. I'm just really not in the mood.

Me too.

Yeah, well, I was just thinking, you know, some long walks, some damn fine

and, if I might be so bold, a grotesque amount of wine.

More than any two responsible adults can possibly drink. Well, I'm in.

When? Well, I'll come and pick you up later. I'm just going to go and get some

provisions in.

You know, a spot of shopping while you're toiling away under the school

On one condition, you don't go out all weekend. Oh, go on, let me have my

moment.

I was worried about you.

Um, do you mind not saying anything to Iz? Um, I don't think I can handle the

lecture on the dangers of holidaying with an ex.

Yeah, we're not really doing chats at the moment.

I'll see you later, yeah? Yeah.

Jack, what is it?

Oh, come on.

There must be something up with you.

Otherwise you wouldn't be so huffy.

I've been huffy.

I thought you were okay about the teaching.

I mean, it was chaos today and I helped out.

I thought you'd be proud of me. It's not... teaching.

I had a little visit from Steph Adock.

Oh, right.

Sticking the knife in, was she?

She seems to have a bit of an idea about you.

She seems to think that there's something going on between you and

lad.

Brett? She seemed pretty sure of herself.

Well, was that before or after they restrained her?

You know what gets me?

Is that you think it's that easy to play.

I mean, of course it's going to be hard for her seeing me and you together.

She was in love with you.

But did it not go on to fall for that?

And picking Brett Aspinall, well, that is a massive stroke.

Because she knows you can't stand him.

She plays it well, I'll give her that.

You're not denying he's got a thing for you?

Him and half the six -ball.

And though it's hard...

I can resist the urge to cop off with a bunch of spotty A -level students.

Weirdly.

It's Flandre what she's doing here.

Why don't you worry about Steph?

Because I'll be having a little chat with her when we get back from half

Save your breath.

She's out.

As of now, we need a new French teacher.

It must have cost loads. You sure you can manage it?

Getting away from it all priceless.

You are a loner, aren't you? I mean, you talk like it, but apart from that...

Yeah, I think we can be happy here.

You're amazing.

I mean, you go and plan all this, and here I am, not even remembering to ask

how I went this morning. I went fine.

Yeah?

Because when you took off, I found all your stuff. You know, your books and

papers in your cupboard.

Oh, you know me. I've always been a bit of a thwart.

Yeah, but you don't want to be upsetting over all that.

I mean, I'm not being funny, but I don't think it's good for your health.

Probably came out wrong, but you know what I mean.

Because you're a tough bird, you.

And you're going to fight this, yeah?

Yes, Mum.

I, er, I found your painkillers, too.

I thought you might have gone and done something stupid.

I did. I've got a wax. Ouch.

Bit of a mix -up with the dates, was there?

Okay, um, I've been a bit of a sly weasel here.

That's a great big fat one.

Look, I know it's selfish, but when I quit, I realised I wasn't going to see

two every day, and I just wanted one more time.

You know, one proper last time to hang out and have fun.

Well, OK, then I can have fun. I mean, who knows, you two might even start

talking to each other again.

I mean, purely for practical reasons, of course.

Look, I know I'm witty, but we've got a whole weekend to get through here.

Got it all worked out, haven't you?

Yep.

And I'm going to have first dibs on the hot water. When I get back, I want to

see two happy faces.

For me, please.

I refer to my previous written warning, brackets, copy and close, close

brackets, and can confirm that verbal warnings were issued prior to that. Full

stop.

Miss Haydock continues to spread malicious gossip about another member of

comma, abusing her position of trust at this school.

Full stop.

Therefore, it is my intention to suspend Miss Haydock with immediate effect for

gross misconduct. Full stop.

Yours sincerely, Jack Rimmer.

I'll sign that now.

And I'll need a copy for Roger.

Are you sure you don't want the plot to step back?

What? You're giving her the chance to worm her way out of it?

No way.

This goes tonight.

She's finally lost it.

Yep.

She gave me this big speech about not telling you that we were coming.

Well, as far as I was concerned, you thought she was our mother.

do this, okay?

Even if we have to bloody act it, we're friends.

For the weekend, for Lorna.

She's had to put up with enough from us.

Anyway, this place is bloody gorgeous.

Even you can't talk about that.

Chuck us a packet of crisps while you're on your feet, eh?

Anyway, Tom, in the words of the late, great Jim Morrison, come on, baby, light

my fire, is can you go with him and check he doesn't torch the place?

Just tell me.

And go.

You made us dinner.

Not exactly.

You brought it in.

Hey, what can I say?

You don't listen, do you?

Look, I really want my mum to like you.

I'm a dad.

Hey, I love parents.

As long as I can give them back at the end of the day.

Brett, I'm serious.

So am I.

Hey, just kidding.

Yeah, like always.

Look, you don't get it.

I don't have money.

My mum, my dad, they don't have money. Mika, I'm just trying to show you how I

feel. Yeah, well, you make me feel embarrassed.

That's how you're going to make them feel.

It guts me that you can't see that.

Just wait.

No. Look, you just don't listen.

I said I wanted to do something cheap. Just hang out.

But you can't, can you?

If it doesn't cost shed clothes to you, then it's not worth it. If you could

lose the moral high ground for one second and check out the dinner.

Look, Brett, I'm really, really sorry.

You'll be pleased to know that dessert...

It's free.

Humble pie.

You get extra.

Don't, don't, don't. Oh, don't.

Don't, don't, don't. I can't stand the feeling of it. It's got my teeth on

All right, then I'll do it.

Don't.

Stop it.

You big girl's flowers.

I'll get you a cloud for Christmas. Stop it.

32 pence to get Steph Adock out of our life.

Bargain.

Why don't you just bend your knife and fork, then you could get more on. Hey,

who you calling moron?

I can't believe I've been condemning myself to low fat and no carbs. Well, I

told you, but you just wouldn't listen.

I know what.

I could get you to do this.

Oh, yes.

I mean, usually when I think of the country, I think of camping.

And then I get this horrible damp sensation.

Oh, guys, remember France 98?

Yeah, out on penalties again. What?

Camping.

I've told you.

There was something wrong with the paddle. Not the canoe stall. There was.

There was something wrong with the paddle. You had your foot... wedged

the riverbank. It was fast -moving water. I was worried about the two of

You'd have been the first to complain if we'd have hit the rock. I don't want

kids paddling faster than you.

But they were supposed to be rapping.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure they were. I'm just not on that particular river, eh?

LAUGHTER Think I can make this for your mum?

Erm, as long as it's without the chocolate sauce.

You're close, aren't you, to your family?

Yes. I mean...

Mum and Dad do each other's heads in, but we love me and Claire well.

Cool. I know my mum's going to really like you once she gets to know you.

You're weird.

I mean, you act dead confident.

But you're not, are you?

You OK?

Haven't been around family in a while.

Get how it feels?

If the girl does not understand you, be patient.

It's not her fault she does not have wisdom.

Oh, my God, that's really freaky.

It says that your lucky number is ten.

If the boy knew how you felt about him, he'd learn to chill.

And how does she feel?

Oh, this is the best night ever.

Well, not the best night. I mean, I do remember a certain first date.

Oh, never mind. You tried your best.

I need to get another bloke in here for protection.

So while you do that, I need to use the bathroom.

And if you hear a crash, you know I didn't make it, so come and get me.

You do walk straight into them, don't you?

Well, she was a very attractive trait in a month.

So is an extremely large personality.

Thank you.

Special fried rice and lemon chicken, shall I?

Get a cup of that.

Jack, I'll talk to you.

Call me if you want, I just thought it was easier not locking the car up. No,

it's not that, Jack.

Bloody typical.

There's one letter I need to get off.

Fine, the LEA are just going to have to get out on Tuesday, aren't they?

Can't send it.

You did it on purpose.

That's you all over, innit? She's out there trying to stab you in the back and

you're trying to save her job.

She didn't stab me in the back.

Are you happy?

Yeah, but you're doing all the work for me, aren't you?

Oh, no. Come on.

No, come on, you've got to. No, come on. Yes, like we used to. Please.

You've got to pick. You've got to. Oh, no.

Come on, then.

Can you remember this? Every Friday.

Like, whatever happens in the cottage stays in the cottage, right?

All right, then, we all tell.

I like just giving you a little bit of clout.

It's coming!

I'm so tired.

It's the MS.

It makes me so tired.

Do you want me to get you something?

You know, I've really laughed tonight.

Me too.

You know...

I think it's the bladder and bowel stuff.

I think that's the worst.

Hey, come on. You don't know what's going to happen, so don't be thinking

that. Yeah, yeah, no, I know. And I know lots of people just get on with it,

but... I really think that's what I would have found the worst.

Lorna, no, come on. Don't be thinking like that, right? Because just say it

right? Just say it is. Then we'll cope.

There's worse than that, Lorne.

Look, whatever it is, right, we'll find a way through it, I promise.

Come on, have another drink. No, no, I'm okay.

I'm going to go now.

You too.

You two are going to stay up and you're going to get really pissed.

And you're going to do something in the morning you're going to regret.

I think we just did that.

You did.

You did.

Night is.

Night night.

Night night, Tom.

Night.

I love you.

All right, now, you have definitely had too much to drink. Go to bed, missus.

Jack, let's go inside.

Let's talk about this.

You go in.

What are we, daft?

I'm not leaving you sitting here on your own.

Get all your stuff and go.

Please.

Come on, Jack, this is crazy. Get everything out!

There's a number for a cab by the phone.

Leave your key.

Nothing happened with me and Brett at Waterloo Road. Nothing.

What Steph's talking about was before then.

I didn't even know he was Roger's son, let alone a student.

Look at me.

It was one night in a bar.

That's all you had to say to me.

Well, I'm telling you now, aren't I?

Anything you want to know, I'll tell you. You've made a fool out of me. No,

you're doing it all by yourself.

Go on, Jack, it's me and you.

It's all that matters.

We're good together.

I do fine by myself.

Stop talking like this. I bloody love you.

Don't do this.

If you love me, you wouldn't lie to me. Now, get out.

left the dishes.

Hmm. That's not like Lorna.

Shh.

I just go at night while I'm spending a fortune on a trip.

She said I'm going to go now.

Yeah, to bed.

What's wrong with that?

She didn't say I'm going to go to bed, did she? She said I'm going to go now.

It's the new Lorna.

And when she was talking to me about symptoms and stuff, she said, um, that's

what I would have found the worst.

Why did she talk to me in the past tense, Tom?

I don't know.

Come on, come on. Don't do this to me. Come on. Lorna, look at me. Look at me.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Tom!

Hurry up!

Is that ambulance on its way?

Come on.

Come on, just open your eyes. Open your eyes. Tom, please.

Come on, Elvie. Come on, Elvie. I need to get a room. Lorna, come on.

We've just got to get her up. We've got to get her moving. Come on, you stupid

girl. Come on.

I can't listen.

Come on, you've got to come back to us. Lorna. There's no flame and reason to

go. You've got your whole life ahead of you, and we're going to be there for you

always. Lorna, come on. Lorna, come on.

Come on, Lorna.

Yeah. Missed one.

Brett.

This must have cost a fortune.

You couldn't put a price on it.

It was my mum's.

No way, but I can't hate that.

Well, since you won't let me buy you stuff, you're gonna have to.

Good.

I want something that says that we're together.

My dearest Tom and Izzy, don't be sad.

I'll be in the place that I've wanted to be for a long time now.

I've been a coward about my MS, I know that.

It's not the only reason, just the final reason.

Know that this is my choice.

I've tried to make things as straightforward as possible.

There's money for my funeral.

I'd like a humanist ceremony, please.

Not too keen on God right now.

And if people could donate to the MS fund instead of flowers...

Then it will ease my conscience for walking away while others, braver than

stay and fight.

Don't forget me.

Not ever.

You were my friends, my family.

You meant everything.

I'll always love you.

Your Lorna.

Come on.

We're not going to leave her on her own.

Stretch out To catch a passing dime

Donations to the rich Widened pavements for the

poor Somewhere else to lie But my

friend, the carriage door Spare slightly a child

And I know flip wings make unbees

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