Original subtitles

Previously on The Real Housewives of Vancouver

You know people are so easy to judge others

but you gotta kind of walk in their shoes.

You're always allowing everyone to walk on you.

I don't ever let anyone walk on me.

Go for therapy.

She's so mean to her.

I'm appalled at Jody's behavior and I'm quite upset

that Ronnie hasn't defended Mary,

maybe they're not as close as I thought?

Are you sleeping with him?

You know I won't judge you.

I promise.

Yeah we have.

You know that's like the worst thing,

like now you're 'the other woman'.

You're the 'other woman'.

The air here's so fresh.

I'm not used to it.

Fresh air?

You don't get out of the bedroom much Christina?

I find Jody looks over at me just with blatant disapproval.

We'll do 5 'Trophy Wives' please.

I may look like a trophy wife,

but unfortunately, I'm not that girl.

At this stage in my life,

I can afford to say it like it is

and look good doing it.

I live life in the fast lane,

catch me if you can!

I traded being a singer to be a mom

and I'm ready to step back into the spotlight.

Every queen needs an empire and I built mine from scratch!

Vancouver's a gold mine and I love to go digging.

So my birthday is this week.

I'm turning 30, which is why I'm feeling apprehensive.

I've just given it all to Marika to plan.

Hi!

I'm gonna make it so special.

Nice wine outside, nice day, let's go to the deck...

Marika is my bodyguard, publicist,

my mother, my sister,

You really want Marika in your corner.

Would you like a glass of Rose?

I'd love one.

You're gonna enjoy this.

You know me so well sweetie.

Cin cin!

At this point I'm not looking forward to my birthday.

It's a big milestone day but I just want to be left alone.

So who's coming?

Well, I want to just cover off your guest list.

So we're gonna have to call casting agencies

to have people come and pretend they like me as their friend.

Oh for heaven's sakes, it's not even an issue.

I just really want you to be happy, so you need to tell me,

is there anything special that you would like?

I'm a little bit concerned about--

Is Jody coming?

Um yes she's going to be coming.

Is that going to be a problem?

No of course not!

I want her to come.

Of course!

There are people on the guest list

that don't have my best wishes at heart

and it makes me uncomfortable.

Jody actually told Marika to not hold my birthday party.

She said 'don't open up your home to her' is that true?

Well you know...

She goes 'I can't believe that you're opening up your home

and you're having a party for Christina,'

I went--

I mean what is the problem with me?

That's what I want to know.

I just think clearly that she just is maybe not going

to be the center of attention.

She makes me feel inferior.

I think that people judge me.

I'm very sensitive to that.

I think all of us are insecure on some level.

Your relationship with her, I didn't know it was strained.

She was very mean to me in Whistler.

She basically called me a slut and Mary an idiot.

Jody scares me.

She's a bully.

Look, what should I do?

I uh...

Actually, bring-bring everyone.

Let's have everyone get along.

Really?

Yes!

Game on.

Okay great.

I actually want to make things better with Jody,

and Marika being such a great friend

outweighed how nervous I am,

but I would rather not have a party.

Don't worry about thing.

Don't stress about at thing, just enjoy.

Bye darling!

You're gorgeous.

Today we're going to J-Brand,

Reiko's coming, of course my sidekick my precious daughter

is coming too.

I want to find something for my store.

Jody!

We're here!

Come on in ladies.

Fred Atkins runs the J-Brand in Vancouver.

Fred's a great guy.

I could serve ya a vodka drink if you need.

Uh oh!

He always has a bowl of chocolate there for me,

a bottle of vodka and an espresso machine.

All what a good girl needs.

It's so nice to have you in the showroom.

We're excited.

So the whole thing that's happening right now is color,

why don't you come over here for one second

and I'll show you what's happening.

This is the most sought after denim in North America

and probably the world at the moment.

That green's hot.

The green is super nice, it's also new.

We love it, it's a big product that we carry at our store.

Looking at this in the topaz and there it is in navy.

I would love an exclusivematte.

We can do that.

This is gonna be amazing, a boa print,

it just came out.

Selling for what, $895?

$1,100.

Oh!

Yeah.

My eyes are really focused on those brown ones right there.

Holy cow!

Reiko's a great supporter to J-Brand

and I wanted her to see how it all works.

Beautiful, that is so cute.

The ta-tas are a bit big for it sweet cheeks.

I don't they quite-

God you could feed a barnyard!

Jody!

I was trying to put on that jacket which was totally hot

and yeah it didn't fit!

It wouldn't button up.

Um it's very cute, but probably it won't close.

It's not meant to though.

Really?

It won't close?

Why?

Try harder.

Jody have you seen your boobs?

They're huge!

They could feed the city of Vancouver!

So I have a fit model today, so we can see anything on

that you wanted to see.

I'm gonna ask Janessa to come down right now,

Janessa?

Those are really cute.

Really cute.

Good model.

Yeah we'll take those.

The model is so hot I cannot believe my eyes.

Oh mini Mick Jagger, how cute.

She comes out in like a 24 jean,

she is so tiny,

but I think she's hungry, I felt so sorry for her.

Are you hungry?

Do you need to eat?

Oy vey!

Eat something.

I think you're starving.

God, your bums the size of a tea cup.

Where's those nuts?

She was great, it was fun.

Her body's so good that everything looks good.

Yeah.

We're gonna get them to the store and I'm gonna be like,

'I don't remember them looking like this on me!'.

Mia and I work together, we go to New York together,

we go to Paris together, she does a lot of the buying

for me in Italy.

If I don't take the brown one, it'll be as cute in a flair.

You'll look like a Hanukkah shrub Mia.

She really gets my humor.

We always have fun when we're doing business.

She's like my sidekick,

she's like a little mini me.

Little lazier than me, but definitely a mini me.

Have a good dinner Freddie!

You too.

Okay talk to you soon.

Bye.

Today I'm taking our boat to Granville Island to meet Mary.

Hi honey!

It's so good to see you.

Mary wants to talk about what happened at Whistler.

Okay have fun guys.

So cute.

Well I kind of felt that Jody was out of order.

I agree.

I find her to be really abrasive

and I'm kind of getting a bit of a foreshadowing

of what's to come.

Maybe she was having a bad weekend

or a bad day or something.

I think that she's fine.

Don't worry about it.

Jody was pretty mean to me and Ronnie didn't seem

to pipe up much about it.

Just let it roll.

Who cares?

Yeah.

Ignore her.

Yeah.

Maybe she'll lighten up, I don't know,

but honestly I was hoping you might say something to her.

You know the reason I didn't

is because I wanted you to hear it.

I think that Mary comes to me for a lot of things.

I feel like I nurture Mary a lot.

As much as I appreciate her honesty,

I was hurt because I feel that good friends

should be supportive of each other.

I have told you 450,000 times what I think you should do,

what I think you shouldn't do and you keep doing

exactly what I tell you not to do.

Maybe by you hearing this from somebody else, maybe...

it might sink in a little bit.

Yeah, but her method--

just the way she said what she said.

Mary, you have to have morals for yourself.

Jody I have really high morals.

But you allow these men into your life

that don't respect you.

That's not my morals though right?

Yes it is.

It's about your values.

Well what will you do if she does that again?

Well then I'm going to have to say something to her

and in a not so nice way I guess.

Are you nervous to see her again?

Not nervous, no.

I just-- I just don't care to be in her presence.

Coming up on The Real Housewives of Vancouver:

Why is she cross with you?

Sometimes you can offend people--

She called you an idiot.

She did actually say that?!

Don't buy hand bags, go see a shrink.

Hello!

Hi there.

I just got a new puppy and am so excited to go buy him

a ton of new things because I have no puppy things.

How's the new puppy?

This is George.

Oh my god, he's beautiful.

Thank you, I just got him two days ago.

I'm really happy that she has a new puppy.

She needs something to love.

Look at George!

Look at his little tail, see how it wagged?

George is so sweet, he's tiny

and I'm not usually into small dogs,

I would be afraid of stepping on him

or rolling over onto him, but he suits Mary.

Baby?

Where are you?

He really, really suits Mary.

So I'm looking around and there are just

oodles and oodles of things.

Peanut butter, cheddar cheese, they're both delicious.

I'm partial to peanut butter.

Rock star, you're a rock star.

These ones are pleather, these ones are more

for bigger dogs.

Oh my god!

So I see these t-shirts over in the corner--

Oh my god!

and they say quite inappropriate things.

Bone me?

Are these big sellers?

Oh my god.

My favorite is this one.

Oh yeah, 'I like it on all fours'.

I like it on all--?

Next thing I know, one of the girls who works there

has put a T-shirt on Napoleon.

Napoleon!

Look at what Napoleon'swearing.

That's awesome!

So Napoleon is trotting around the store

in a t-shirt that says, 'I love pussy'.

Oh my god.

Look at you!

Don't you wear that in front of George, he's too young.

They have these beautiful dog collars

and leashes and it's like jewelry.

I'd pay a lot of money at Chanel for pearls like this.

So I bought Napoleon a beautiful teal blue dog collar.

Really lovely on you Napoleon.

That would make a nice bracelet.

I keep looking at things for myself.

Napoleon what are you doing to Mr.Pickles?

So Napoleon's getting into a problem with Mr.Pickles.

So Mary buys a purse, dog carrier type thing.

Look he's gonna stick his head out!

Perfect.

Christina, what do you think?

Love it.

Look forward to seeing you again.

Thank you very much.

$800 later I'm thinking,

'Wow, I probably should've went

for the ''I heart pussy'' t-shirt'.

After J-Brand, Jody, Mia and I go down the street

for a patio lunch.

Thank you.

Right away, the conversation turns to the Whistler trip.

Apparently, Mary is still unhappy with Jody.

What's going on?

Mary said something bad about you?

I don't really know anything about Mary, Mia.

Why is she cross with you?

She's cross with me because I have an opinion

that y'know she's young and she's talented

and she should spend more time on her inner self

than her outer self-

I don't think there's anything to be cross about that with.

No I know but y'know sometimes you can offend people-

Y'know stop buying stuff.

Stop putting botox and sh#$ into your face,

start looking after yourself internally.

Don't buy shoes, don't buy hand bags, go see a shrink.

She took it offensively and now she's a bit cross with me too.

She is gonna start to get busy.

She's gonna study for her medical degree.

She's studying for her medical degree, like you did?

Uh no.

I think she's doing it online.

Pardon me?

She's doing her medical degree online.

Her medical degree online?

I don't know much about the online medical school field,

I know that I got my philosophy degree

sitting in a classroom.

I want to do my medical degree online

if that's possible!

I found that fascinating

because if she gets to get her GP online,

I'm going to become a proctologist...

maybe a surgeon.

I can't believe it's going to be Christina's 30th birthday.

Exciting.

30.

The dirty 30's.

Have you heard from Marika anything about Friday?

Like it's a sit-down dinner or-?

No I don't think it's a sit down-

she's a true hostess,

she knows it's about giggles and-

To music, loud music.

bobbles and bits and lots of booze.

Bits and booze!

Who's going to the party, do you know?

Ronnie's going um Kevin's going...

I know Christina will be there.

Well yeah.

It's her birthday!

Oh my god he's so cute!

Look at him!

Oh my god he's all smushed up against it.

Isn't he so cute?

Oh my god I love him.

They say you get your puppy first and then your baby.

And you went the opposite.

I did the opposite!

I love it.

So we're having a nice glass of wine

and Christina brings up Whistler and Jody again.

I thought it was really mean of Jody,

In Whistler?

When she called you an idiot.

Oh she did actually say that, didn't she?!

She did.

She said you were an idiot.

You know it's funny, when you're with a whole bunch of girls

and all this stuff is coming at you,

you kind of forget and then you get home

and all these things star coming back in your head

of what was said.

I think she's trying to be protective.

I mean my gut instinct is that she's trying to be--

She's being bossy.

You think?

She's just being bossy

because then what's her problem with me?

Oh you?

That's a a whole thing.

I don't know like--

I thought she was being mean to everyone

but then it turns out it was just mostly me.

Have you ever wantedto work?

Have you ever wanted to go to school?

Jody's a bully and I've been through this before.

I was bullied when I was a child

and she just wants everyone under her thumb.

Christina was clearly upset and I was all for listening to it

because I was feeling the same way.

I said 'mountain air was fresh' or something,

just making chit chat and conversation and she said,

'you're not used to it because you never leave your bedroom.'.

Dear god.

Really?

Come on.

What a cow!

You know what, you're so sweet.

Thank you.

I've enjoyed getting to know you more.

I think I just adore you.

Me too.

And I'll protect you from Jody.

Okay!

Need to protect myself from Jody.

My god, what am I saying?

Coming up on The Real Housewives of Vancouver:

These guys are custom made amino acids and vitamins for mom.

Oh wow.

Boys will be boys.

I've got Doctor Doug coming over

to give us a little bit of botox.

It's the perfect gift.

Happy Birthday!

f@#$ing masochist.

f@#$ing masochist.

Jhordan what are you making for a smoothie?

Protein.

Protein shake are you gonna put in uh fruit?

Yeah.

I'm gonna feed the cat.

Where's the cat bowl?

No idea.

God only knows what you're going to get around here

when you wake up.

Coffee.

Where's the coffee?

We have five children, Jhordan's my oldest,

he's 22.

Gosh that looks like quite the smoothie.

Look who's making it.

I have no doubt that Jhordie's going to be just fine.

Okay so what's on your agenda today?

It's Wednesday.

Houston is a very typical 16 year old teenager.

'Hmm...

grunt...

it's morning...

how you doing?'.

My vitamins.

Where are my vitamins?

If I'm a junkie, I'm a vitamin junkie.

These guys are custom-made amino acids

and vitamins custom made for mom.

Healthy.

I've never felt better.

I mean having custom-blended vitamins,

that are suited to me...

Fabulous.

Okay so here goes the uh challenge...

I'm gonna be drinking this down.

I mixed my multi-vitamins and my amino acids,

my greens, my endura and I drink it down really fast.

Trying not to breath.

Yes it tastes terrible, but the benefits are great.

I've never felt better.

20 bucks says I take a sip.

And I get to make it for you.

Deal.

20 bucks.

All right.

Oh my god.

Almost there.

That was called severe.

Okay no...

Okay 40 cash.

Oh boy.

Jhordan, Jhordan, Jhordan.

Boys will be boys.

Houston!

Come on.

Guzzle it down.

Houston it's not that bad.

Just do it.

What's that thing floating in it?

Can you guys keep the kitchen halfway nice?

Dude take a damn sip of the--

Why is it all like bubbly?

Why don't you take a sip first?

Are you paying me 40 bucks?

Oh...

Wow.

Well that forfeits the 40 bucks.

Oh!

Oh!

You have a straw in your hair.

Ta dah!

Oh!

So what do you want to buy?

Maybe some figs, some dates?

How bout some sprinkles?

I love Bosa, it's my favorite grocery shop

for italian foods in Vancouver.

Let's get a buggy.

Hang on, we're gonna do some serious grocery shopping.

So much to see and buy.

Look at the cheeses Hannah.

Do the gold one, you're right.

Good eye.

Hannah's pretty cool about shopping.

Hannah likes to consume.

She's like Mia.

Oh they're very very pretty.

That's a great idea Hannah.

She's a great little help.

Oh good girl.

Not too much lovey.

Bean dip honey, but thank you.

Yeah she's always adding a few things here and there

but it can get terribly expensive if you don't watch.

What are you putting there lovey?

Let mummy see what you're putting in...

What makes her extra cute is she got my father's eyes,

so every time she smiles at me I see my dad.

That's special.

Look mom!

I know it's unbelievable.

Let's go check out.

That was fun.

Hmm?

Yeah.

So my best friend Kevin has arranged

a surprise birthday gift.

Napoleon!

You know as part of your birthday gift,

I've got Doctor Doug coming over

to give us a little bit of botox

to smooth us out- to smooth us out.

Hey Dougie how are ya?

Hi.

Just coming here to smooth us out for-for your big 30th.

Hi Doug!

Hi Christina, nice to see you.

I cannot imagine anything better.

It's the perfect gift.

Oh my god I so need to see you right now.

Her forehead was starting to look like a Charpe to me,

so you know what to be honest with you--

You know what, if you've had a hard life,

people don't need to see that on your face

and I go, you know what?

For $200 or $300 a month f@#% the kids in Guatemala,

just take care of this.

Oh fill her up.

I'm so excited.

Thank you so much.

Okay just put your chin up.

So you've had botox before?

Yes.

This morning.

So the nice thing about having a friend like Doug

is he's a dentist but he's actually registered to do

the injections for botox and so whenever there's sort

of that emergency situation, he's there.

Once again a little prick...

story of your life.

I can't tell you how much I love Kevin.

Honey you're doing really well.

I get happy even saying his name.

Gimme your hand.

Go with it.

Last one.

It's a good one, it's a good one.

Just take it.

No!

Do not flinch.

Oh my god.

Christina do not flinch.

Christina it's worth it.

Ow!

I think everyone should do it.

I don't know why everyone doesn't do it.

Happy Birthday!

You #$#@ing masochist!

Okay feeling good.

That's the best one, that's the best one.

It makes you look less troubled and if you look less troubled,

oftentimes you act less troubled.

Well you know what it's time for a nice party

and the location's gonna be beautiful,

the food'll be great, the booze is obviously gonna be flowing

it's at Marika's, so I'm looking forward to it.

So are all the girls gonna be coming?

Um...

I think so.

I'm nervous about seeing Jody again.

I don't want her on the wrong side.

I want her on my team

but I do have to stand up against bullies.

It's your birthday, you know what,

it's gonna be a fabulous time

and you are gonna look fabulous more importantly.

Cheers.

Thanks to you Doug!

Thank you Doug.

I'm really not looking forward to seeing Jody.

Coming up on The Real Housewives of Vancouver:

Hi you've reached Christina...

Give me a call please if you're not going to show up.

Quite frankly, it's rude.

Oh she's not here yet.

Not a phone call to tell me she's late?

Apparently this is Christina.

I'm going to call her.

I can't handle it.

Marika, I wouldn't.

So I invited Christina to Flhair studios

to treat her to a pedicure for her birthday.

Hi there how are you?

I'm good I'm good.

I'm here for Shirley

and my girlfriend Christina is supposed to be here.

Oh she's not here yet.

Oh.

Maybe I'll just wait for her to get here.

But I guess she's late.

Can I get you a magazine?

Sure.

That'd be great.

Thanks.

Very late.

What's the dirt?

Wow.

Not a phone call to tell me that she's late...

is she even coming?

I mean it's only courteous.

I wonder where she is.

So I'm BBMing Christina, 'Are you coming?'

and there's no response.

Apparently this is Christina.

You know at this point whether she's at the dentist,

whether she's at the doctors,

whether or not she's getting laid, I could care less.

Is Shirley ready?

Yeah.

Maybe I'll get started.

Okay.

I'll give her one more chance

but right now she owes me.

Hi there.

I have lunch with Christina, has she arrived?

She hasn't arrived yet.

Oh okay.

I'll seat you.

Okay.

Good afternoon how are you?

I'm just waiting for one more.

So I'll just have a glass of white while I'm waiting.

You betcha.

Thank you so much.

Hi you've reached Christina

please leave a message and I will return your call

as soon as possible.

Hi Christina it's Ronnie...

I'm just having a glass of wine waiting for you

uh hope to see you soon.

I'm not really surprised Christina's late

just because I've heard Christina

actually runs late quite often,

but after a half hour you start to wonder.

Maybe I'll try again.

Um...

No rush.

Hi you've reached Christina-

Christina it's Ronnie again, maybe I've got the wrong day

or something I'm not sure.

Uh I'm on my third glass of wine already.

Bye darling.

45 minutes you're thinking,

'Wow this person's really running late.'.

Hi you've reached Christina.

Sweetheart give me a call please

if you're not going to show up.

Quite frankly, it's rude.

Okay I just-- I have other things I could've done today,

a phone call would've been nice.

But I didn't think she'd stand me up.

If I could just get the bill.

Thank you.

So Marika and I decided that we were gonna get together

at the Fairmont and discuss Christina's birthday party.

Hi there!

How are you Mrs.Palmer welcome back.

Thank you.

Mr.Chase how are you?

I'm fantastic thank you.

She picked me up in her brand new cream on cream

GTC Bentley.

I mean they don't make this car.

This is special order.

We were supposed to meet Christina and we had gotten

her a birthday present from Tiffany's.

So you were at the dress store for how long?

I was there for 45 minutes and uh-

Wow.

And no phone call or--?

No.

It's not really like her to not show up to something like that.

She wasn't showing up for her dress fitting

and she wasn't answering her phone,

is she even gonna show up for a drink?

Should we call her or just wait a bit?

No wait a bit.

Let's have a drink and then let's give her--

Something to drink?

I think I'll have a cocktail yeah.

I'll have a Kettle One martini on the rocks please

with a twist.

Might as well make it a double.

Marika's gone out of her way to put on a good little party,

I just wouldn't stand her up.

I mean she's got a late model #$%ing Bentley.

Whoa.

I needed that.

Yknow I'm gonna call her.

I can't handle it.

Marika I wouldn't.

Really?

That calling, non stop, is like someone nudging you.

Obviously if she doesn't want to be here it's because

whatever is happening today for her is a big deal,

so we just have to respect that and then leave it as that.

All right.

I think the biggest thing with Christina is yknow what,

deep down inside she's really, really sensitive.

Even the party y'know I know that she's worried about

a bit of the details, I've assured her, don't worry.

You know what I'm apprehensive about as well,

is some of the other women--

Marika of course!

It's like putting six german shepherds in a cage

that haven't been fed for six weeks.

Oh.

I mean it isn't pretty.

I know that one of the biggest concerns with Christina

was whether or not Jody would accept her.

Jody called me today and left a voicemail saying

that she was very disappointed that we were even

considering hosting a party-

Why would it matter to her?

Well because it's not about her

it's about somebody else or yknow Christina,

but what do I do if she actually doesn't show up?

What do we do?

She'll be there on Friday Marika.

Marika's now let me know that she's really concerned

that Christina might not show up for her 30th

and as her best friend, I worry about that.

Coming up on the Real Housewives of Vancouver:

Woo hoo!

There's an orgy going on in the bedroom.

There's what?

Marika Palmer knows how to throw a good party.

Cheers.

She was so aggressive.

Get a therapist, trust me.

Where is she?

She should be here anytime.

That's all you need is to have a party

and the guest of honor doesn't show up.

Marika?

I didn't hear the door!

Oh my god!

Robert they're beautiful.

So today is the day of the party

and I'm very organized.

I did all of my legwork last week.

You mix your drink, I'll do my thing.

Robert my friend from Get Fresh

came with these gorgeous flowers.

I thought that might go over here, what do you think?

For me, throwing an event is easy.

I've got it down.

I love doing this.

I love to throw a party.

I have the caterers all lined up,

I have the bartender all lined up,

so all I have to do today is just wait for the deliveries.

It's all gotta be cleaned.

I realize I've got a curler in my hair.

Oh my god.

You look beautiful anyway.

My parties usually are known for the free flow of alcohol.

I think it's really important if you're hosting a party,

to be really relaxed.

We're finishing this.

Perfect.

The thing that really is weighing on me is what to wear.

That's my choice right there.

Are you kidding?

No I'm not kidding.

Are you sure I don't look like a fairy?

Nu uh.

I look like a fairy, you look fabulous.

Try it on! Try it on!

Oh my god, it's so adorable.

See?

All right.

Shoes.

Madonna has these.

Perfect.

All right.

Bling...

the silver one.

Okay and then so I can do my silver rings,

so that's just awesome.

That's just my choice.

I mean...

The glitter one I'm thinking.

Just a few options right?

All right, I think this is it.

No more make up.

No you can never have too much makeup.

More makeup.

Good.

Okay.

What?

I'm going out tonight.

Want to sit up here?

Just don't get into anything.

It will be an interesting night cuz guess what?

Christina's turning 30 and Jody's gonna be there.

Probably will pick a fight with me or something.

I've had enough and so I want Jody to understand

where I'm coming from.

All right let's call Ronnie and see what she's doing.

Hi Lefty.

Hi Poncho.

What are you doing?

I'm getting ready for Christina's party.

So I was gonna tell you uh...

I think I'm gonna confront Jody.

Really?

What are you going to say?

Well I'm gonna tell her that she was rude in Whistler.

Do you think you should be confronting her

at Christina's birthday?

No I'm not gonna confront her like in a bad way,

just gonna ask her what that was all about.

Remember, she called me an idiot.

No I think if you do it in the right way,

maybe just take her to the side and say,

'I didn't appreciate what you did to me,'.

So honey uh here's the-

here's the big question...

The burning question?

The burning question is...

I need to know if you're gonna have my back on this.

Say it again?

Are you gonna have my back on this?

Well of course I'll have your back.

You want me to throw in the trunk?

Mommy?

Yes?

Do you want to powder your face?

No.

How bout you watch me?

Okay can't go back into mommy's tummy.

I'm looking forward to Christina's birthday party

knowing that Christina really loves to party.

God only knows what is gonna happen.

Just put a little bit on.

I'm wearing a white Roberto Cavali dress

with Alexander McQueen heels.

Give daddy a kiss.

Bye.

Where's mine?

Yeah Reiko I think is a diva.

She likes to look good all the time,

dress good but I like her to have that.

She really thinks she's coming with me.

Grandma-

I need your help.

So I was thinking, what do you think of this one?

Yeah it's gorgeous.

Then there's this one.

Oh.

That I love.

I decided to bring my niece,

just to have a girlfriend with me.

Should I try it on?

Yeah try it on.

Okay.

Did I tell you that I was trying to take her out

for a very nice birthday lunch yesterday

and she totally stood me up.

She stood you up?

She never called to apologize,

she never called to even say where she was.

That's gonna be interesting tonight then

when you see her for the first time.

Okay what do you think of this?

That's pretty, but I don't think you should wear it.

Christina might not like it

if you wear something to upstage her.

Reiko and I have decided to ride together.

Reiko looks absolutely stunning in a white dress

and these gorgeous blue pumps.

She looks like an angel.

Gorgeous.

Oh look at that.

I'm so excited for her birthday party.

So I'm wearing a gorgeous Gucci I bought,

Paige is looking spectacular and we're having fun.

Champagne?

Oh I do!

Let's have a great night!

Christina doesn't have very many friends

and she's not worthy of my time but you know what?

I'll show up for her, sniff some oxygen

and hopefully it goes well.

Good evening, hello how are you?

You look great!

I love the tiara.

So cute.

I thought tiara was darling.

I think it's cute when girls wear those, why not?

Oh you're amazing.

So I bought her a Fortune 500 magazine,

'America's Largest Corporations, their CEOs and presidents'.

I thought it was the perfect gift.

Y'know she can look for her next husband in that one.

It's right up her alley.

I had invited her to come to a pedicure with me

and she didn't show up.

It seems Christina is very um...

uncomfortable and a little bit nervous

to have this party for her.

I hope she shows up.

I hope she shows up.

From what I've been told,

Marika Palmer knows how to throw a good party.

Marika!

Hi!

Oh...

my...

god!

You look beautiful.

It was beautiful.

I was like, 'Wow, all the windows are opened,

the air, the ocean, champagne and rasberries,'.

Oh thank you Mary!

Marika is so warm and so excited to see Reiko and I.

Cheers, thank you.

Thank you for inviting us.

Look who's here.

What a view.

These are for you.

Thank you so much Ronnie.

How are you?

I'm doing fine.

How's Frank?

He's really well, he's actually here,

he'd like to say hi.

I'd like to say Hi.

Marika Palmer is married to a dear friend, Frank Palmer,

her husband is the foundation of our relationship.

All right you two!

There's an orgy going on in the bedroom.

There's what--?

An orgy going on?

After a while I felt like I looked like a ballerina.

I'm trying to keep the dress up.

I'm just trying to keep the tits in.

So I wanted to change and I always have a back up.

You changed.

I had to, I'm sorry.

Oh you look beautiful.

Anyone's welcome to try on another outfit if they want.

I might.

How's Christina doing?

She's certainly better but I don't know.

I didn't know she was so sensitive and so much drama.

The party is for Christina, it doesn't involve Jody,

so I think that that's

what might be bothering her a little bit.

Maybe that's why she wore the little tiara.

I'm not a princess...

I'm a queen.

I can wear whatever I want.

A crown, a helmet, I can do as I please.

Uh excuse me?

I had been wanting to talk to Jody for a while

because I wanted to let her know about how I'm feeling

about what had happened in Whistler.

The thing that bothered me that day in Whistler was

because I felt that you were saying

I didn't have good morals and values

and I took offense to that.

Mary's mad at me, so we're going to discuss

why Mary's mad with Jody.

You know, put it behind you and go forward.

I know and--

Especially when you fall in love and it doesn't feel right,

get rid of them.

I was really confused as to why she was so aggressive.

Are you working?

Are you gonna do something?

What are you gonna do?

Well right now I'm--

I think you should focus on your voice.

Look after yourself.

Yeah.

With the tiara on, it felt like she was back in Whistler,

the queen of England.

I don't know.

Suck it up buttercup.

I think Mary's offended by what I tell her

because the truth, unfortunately, really hurts.

Get a therapist.

Trust me.

Thank you sweetheart.

So we're still waiting on--

On the birthday girl.

on the birthday girl.

And I haven't seen Kevin in ages.

To be totally honest with you,

I was a little worried that Christina

might not show up to the party.

Where is she?

Uh she should be here anytime.

I think we're all here.

Christina is scheduled to arrive at 8:00.

Obviously I'm nervous.

Makes me think is she going to be here?

Very exciting.

Never a dull moment.

That's all you need is to have the party

and the guest of honor doesn't show up.

Coming up on The Real Housewives of Vancouver:

Just answer your phone and call me back please hurry!

I need to talk to you.

Are they coming?

That did not impress me.

There's a hole in the chair.

It's time to go.

The evening's done.

Hi how are you?

So throughout the whole day,

I've never heard from Christina,

but I actually made the decision that you know what?

I have to go to her place and I was gonna pick her up,

it's her 30th birthday and she was gonna show up.

Hi you've reached Christina,

please leave me a message.

I will return your call as soon as possible.

Hi honey it's me, listen it's 8:00.

I don't like you not answering your phone,

I'm on my way to your place in a limo

to pick you up to go the party that Marika planned

and spent lots of time getting everything organized,

so just answer your phone and call me back!

Please hurry.

I'm like literally five minutes away and I need to talk to you.

Are they coming?

Kevin and Christina?

It's now like 9:30.

No Christina.

I'm now concerned that she may not show up

for her own birthday party.

Ah!

Hi!

The elevator door opens and I don't even really see anyone,

I just see a bunch of people

and I feel like I'm gonna faint.

Oh my god Christina that's fabulous!

Oh my god I was just so relieved that they'd arrived

and they looked sensational.

Can I see those legs one more time?

Woo!

Wow, she was stunning.

She looked gorgeous, she was in this beautiful pink dress

and had a peer over at Jody to see if maybe the queen

had fallen off the throne.

She looked so beautiful...

from a distance.

Her left breast kept on falling out,

that did not impress me.

Thank's skully.

Thank's skully, yeah.

We didn't know whether I would show up.

I didn't know whether I would show up

but everyone's happy that I'm there,

so let's just have a few drinks.

If I could just get everyone's attention

for a moment.

Um I was really uncomfortable about this whole day...

I know I let some people down and it's not because

I was being selfish I just actually was feeling insecure,

to be here and have all my friends,

it means the world to me.

Happy Birthday Christina!

Christina come on over here and open some presents.

Oh beautiful!

I love boys.

Spank her to the side.

Christina should have new drinks

before she opens up my gift.

Best gift in the world.

Ronnie's in charge of all my gifts from now on.

I got you a Fortune 500 magazine.

These guys are all billionaires

I thought you could like nurse your hangover tomorrow

and research.

I thought he was the cutest

and then I saw his ring finger, but then again,

that doesn't matter right?

I know that they want me to be upset over it...

no.

Thank you for doing the work for me

because I'm getting sick and tired of this.

I'm getting too old for this.

Sure.

The Fortune 500 was actually last years.

It's like an airline ticket that's expired.

This is good reading material for you.

It was all good fun but then it went one step further.

Can we have a drum roll?

Drum roll!

I'm nervous yet turned on at the same time.

Kind of like my first time #$#@ing having sex.

What did you just say?

Nothing!

Say it!

There you go.

You ready?

There you go.

Oh.

Oh it's so like a thirty.

Like a hooker only smarter.

Yeah not so impressed.

At this point I just can't believe it.

It's not funny.

This is just wrong.

Woop woop woo!

Is that how you got your husband?

I think Christina really is a gold digger.

The men that she picks have to fit a certain criteria.

Platinum mining.

Platinum mining.

Mining men, mining men, venture capital.

Christina loves the t-shirt.

I think it's something you chuck in the garbage afterwards.

If she doesn't wear this, I will.

Ahh!

Whoa!

Oh my god.

What happened?

We just had a little moment, there's a hole in the chair.

Yes Ronnie, there was hole and you fell through it.

Okay I just started the party.

Finally someone does something that's kind of fun.

It was fabulous and you look beautiful.

I'm actually going to confront Jody,

I'm really nervous but I can't back down.

Don't let it be.

Get a therapist.

I think that Jody doesn't know how offensive she is

but you know what?

I'm toughening up.

You can be very outspoken and bitchy--

Me?!

I don't deserve it.

I think we should go now.

I now don't care about Jody's opinion of me.

I have no niceness left in me for her.

I'm very confused by Christina and her manner.

My friends just aren't of that nature.

Bye Marika.

I don't think we will ever be on the same page.

We shall see.

So Jody leaves and I'm feeling like

we should take things up a notch.

Oh!

No!

Nice kitty, nice kitty.

Yes Kevin has a really good time and I'm taking his lead

which is maybe the wrong train to jump aboard.

If you want to have good entertainment,

invite Christina and Kevin to all of your parties.

They're hilarious.

So Kevin's like go show yourself off!

And I think it's a good idea at the time.

Oh my god!

Nice.

Really proud of that.

I think that's when the party turned.

It became funny.

I didn't want to be a part of the show,

I just wanted to watch the show.

Kevin on the ground and Christina in high heels

and magazines and t-shirts and underwear and my god

it's like Christina, you should've left the dress on.

So my birthday party was actually quite fun

and I'm thrilled that I showed up for it.

Coming up on The Real House Housewives of Vancouver.

Oh.

Let me show you what's been downloaded.

Whatever!

You think that's pretty?

It doesn't matter.

Are you stupid?

I hate that she can make me feel so small.

I think Ronnie's gift was tasteful and funny.

I do naturally have a temper.

There goes my pedicure.

35,000 on a horse is money very well spent,

especially when it's not my money.

Thank you.

When's the last time you saw Mary?

She said you're absolutely pathetic.

She had already texted me telling me to go f myself.

What?

It's gonna take a lot for this to heal.

Like I'm done.

I'm done.