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1
00:06:41,039 --> 00:06:42,840
- Morning already?
2
00:06:53,087 --> 00:06:55,789
- Since man has
first ventured across the water
3
00:06:55,790 --> 00:07:00,328
there have been documented
reports of strange sea
creatures.
4
00:07:00,329 --> 00:07:03,599
Giant squids, serpents and
octopi
5
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:07,303
large enough to pull down
a whole sailing vessel.
6
00:07:07,304 --> 00:07:09,907
What mysteries lie beneath the
surface?
7
00:07:09,908 --> 00:07:13,612
What could be in the unexplored
depths?
8
00:07:13,613 --> 00:07:15,714
Could there be creatures like
us?
9
00:07:15,715 --> 00:07:18,317
Creatures similar to man?
10
00:07:18,318 --> 00:07:20,687
Would they be friendly
or would they possess
11
00:07:20,688 --> 00:07:23,091
all rage and hate since the dawn
of time?
12
00:07:27,162 --> 00:07:30,065
- The monsters and strange
creatures
13
00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:34,237
living beneath the surface
of various bodies of water
14
00:07:34,238 --> 00:07:36,607
is an old story.
15
00:07:36,608 --> 00:07:38,442
The most famous, of course,
16
00:07:38,443 --> 00:07:41,146
is the Loch Ness monster which
uh,
17
00:07:41,147 --> 00:07:44,717
has been sighted and
reported for, literally,
centuries.
18
00:07:44,718 --> 00:07:47,621
- Monsters, here I come.
19
00:07:47,622 --> 00:07:50,024
- My interest is in a creature
20
00:07:50,025 --> 00:07:51,493
that is entirely different.
21
00:07:51,494 --> 00:07:54,729
One that I call the improbus
erectus,
22
00:07:54,730 --> 00:07:57,934
humanoid type of water creature.
23
00:08:05,477 --> 00:08:06,612
- Already?
24
00:08:07,514 --> 00:08:11,318
- On a beach on the Atlantic
coast.
25
00:08:11,319 --> 00:08:14,020
There have been a number of
sightings
26
00:08:14,021 --> 00:08:17,626
and the number has
skyrocketed in the past two-
27
00:08:28,106 --> 00:08:30,542
I have here a um,
28
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:32,610
a representation of what the
skull
29
00:08:32,611 --> 00:08:34,747
of one of these creatures might
look like.
30
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:37,683
As you can see it has a
characteristically
31
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,453
humanoid cranium,
32
00:08:39,454 --> 00:08:44,760
but the anterior orbit
and the jaw are both...
33
00:08:49,199 --> 00:08:51,935
- Rupert, we're on vacation.
34
00:08:51,936 --> 00:08:54,205
You oughtta be thinking
about titties or weed
35
00:08:54,206 --> 00:08:55,440
or some shit.
36
00:08:55,774 --> 00:08:58,543
- These mysterious
disappearances at cat island
cove
37
00:08:58,544 --> 00:09:01,146
are gonna put me on the
journalistic map.
38
00:09:01,147 --> 00:09:02,715
By the way, thanks for inviting
me, Rodney.
39
00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:04,317
- Oh, no problem, no problem.
40
00:09:04,318 --> 00:09:08,489
Tonya, how much further
till we reach splatter beach?
41
00:09:08,490 --> 00:09:09,657
- Mmm.
42
00:09:09,658 --> 00:09:11,593
We're getting close.
43
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:14,730
Hey, why is it called splatter
beach?
44
00:09:14,731 --> 00:09:16,166
- That's what the locals call
it.
45
00:09:16,366 --> 00:09:18,902
- People are disappearing
at a rate of six per month.
46
00:09:18,903 --> 00:09:21,238
That's pretty strange if you ask
me.
47
00:09:21,239 --> 00:09:23,474
- Oh, that place is tight, son!
48
00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:25,611
Secluded on the bay side and the
beach
49
00:09:25,612 --> 00:09:28,180
is just a short walk from the
cabin, yeah.
50
00:09:28,181 --> 00:09:30,483
- I can't wait to hear
the riptides play live
51
00:09:30,484 --> 00:09:31,985
tonight on the beach.
52
00:09:31,986 --> 00:09:33,487
They're the best.
53
00:09:33,488 --> 00:09:35,791
Great, they're playing now!
54
00:09:37,059 --> 00:09:38,727
- Oh, the riptides, huh?
55
00:09:38,728 --> 00:09:40,696
Turn it up, Tonya.
56
00:09:44,869 --> 00:09:47,472
Man, that radio is wack!
57
00:09:48,039 --> 00:09:49,575
- I'll fix it.
58
00:09:49,775 --> 00:09:53,212
- So Tonya, what do you
think of the ominous sounding
59
00:09:53,213 --> 00:09:54,780
splatter beach?
60
00:09:54,781 --> 00:09:56,216
- Doesn't scare me.
61
00:09:56,416 --> 00:09:58,985
But when I was a kid there
was a place down the road
62
00:09:58,986 --> 00:10:02,657
the kids called splatter farm.
63
00:10:02,658 --> 00:10:04,359
Kind of creeped me out.
64
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,329
- Plenty of time for you to
run into my arms for safety.
65
00:10:07,330 --> 00:10:08,364
- More like your bed.
66
00:10:08,365 --> 00:10:08,966
- You got it, baby.
67
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:10,233
- Yeah, great.
68
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:11,878
How are you gonna explain to
your folks
69
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:13,671
why all the sheets are stuck
together?
70
00:10:13,672 --> 00:10:14,473
- That's a'ight.
71
00:10:14,673 --> 00:10:16,575
Tonya don't spit.
72
00:10:16,576 --> 00:10:18,344
- You're gross!
73
00:10:19,779 --> 00:10:20,581
- Nah, it's all right.
74
00:10:20,781 --> 00:10:21,882
Pops is cool about it.
75
00:10:22,115 --> 00:10:23,783
When he was young he used to
come up here
76
00:10:23,784 --> 00:10:25,886
and fish and fuck all the time.
77
00:10:25,887 --> 00:10:27,654
Not always in that order,
either.
78
00:10:27,655 --> 00:10:30,492
- Now I know where you get it
from.
79
00:10:30,493 --> 00:10:32,696
So how's your story coming?
80
00:10:33,463 --> 00:10:34,697
- Probably like him.
81
00:10:34,698 --> 00:10:35,733
It ain't.
82
00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:38,668
- I'll have you know all
the groundwork is set.
83
00:10:38,669 --> 00:10:40,571
All I've gotta do is interview
some locals.
84
00:10:40,572 --> 00:10:42,074
I'm sure it'll lead to the
truth.
85
00:10:42,307 --> 00:10:44,309
- You still don't believe
sea monsters are the culprit,
86
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,310
do you?
87
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,579
- It's one of my theories
88
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:50,183
based on some eyewitness
accounts and local legends.
89
00:10:50,184 --> 00:10:51,352
- Sea monster?
90
00:10:51,353 --> 00:10:53,521
Man, you do need to get laid.
91
00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:56,625
That's all bullshit made up
by drunks and meth heads.
92
00:10:56,626 --> 00:10:59,061
The creature from the
black lagoon ain't real.
93
00:10:59,062 --> 00:11:00,530
- Who's to say there isn't some
sort of
94
00:11:00,531 --> 00:11:01,898
man/fish hybrid down there?
95
00:11:01,899 --> 00:11:04,067
Some sort of genetic mutation?
96
00:11:04,068 --> 00:11:06,303
A humanoid from the deep, if you
will.
97
00:11:06,304 --> 00:11:08,640
- Y'all can look for jaws all
you want.
98
00:11:08,641 --> 00:11:10,542
I'm gonna rock on the beach all
day
99
00:11:10,543 --> 00:11:12,846
and rock on my girl all night.
100
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:14,949
- Promises, promises.
101
00:11:26,764 --> 00:11:28,031
- Johnson?
102
00:11:28,032 --> 00:11:29,866
Johnson, don't ignore me.
103
00:11:29,867 --> 00:11:31,769
I know you're in this house
somewhere.
104
00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:34,339
- Yes, dear. - Don't yes dear
me.
105
00:11:34,340 --> 00:11:36,408
Where are you? - In the
basement, dear.
106
00:11:36,409 --> 00:11:37,409
- The basement?
107
00:11:37,910 --> 00:11:40,313
What on earth are you
doing down in the basement?
108
00:11:40,314 --> 00:11:42,015
- Cleaning my rod, dear.
109
00:11:42,015 --> 00:11:43,917
- What's that supposed to mean?
110
00:11:43,918 --> 00:11:46,054
You're not going fishing again
are you?
111
00:11:46,055 --> 00:11:47,055
- Yes, dear.
112
00:11:47,256 --> 00:11:49,257
- You just went fishing
yesterday.
113
00:11:49,258 --> 00:11:50,859
When are you going to
spend a little less time fishing
114
00:11:50,860 --> 00:11:52,528
and a little more with me?
115
00:11:52,529 --> 00:11:53,831
- When hell freezes over.
116
00:11:54,198 --> 00:11:56,132
- When you get back
you're taking me out to dinner,
117
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:57,534
and someplace nice this time.
118
00:11:57,535 --> 00:11:58,535
- Okay.
119
00:11:59,071 --> 00:12:01,907
I love you, bunny poo poo.
- Don't you poo poo me.
120
00:12:01,908 --> 00:12:03,609
- Bitch. - Johnson?
121
00:12:03,610 --> 00:12:05,377
All right, I'm coming down there
122
00:12:05,378 --> 00:12:07,714
and I don't appreciate you
making me go up and down
123
00:12:07,715 --> 00:12:09,483
the stairs all day.
124
00:12:09,484 --> 00:12:10,818
You know I have a bad back.
125
00:12:10,819 --> 00:12:13,220
Johnson, are you listening to
me?
126
00:12:13,221 --> 00:12:14,656
Johnson.
127
00:12:14,657 --> 00:12:15,791
Johnson!
128
00:12:27,606 --> 00:12:29,642
- All that dude's gonna catch is
a cold.
129
00:12:29,643 --> 00:12:30,677
- Why do you say that?
130
00:12:31,211 --> 00:12:33,480
- Because the fishing's
been terrible here for like,
131
00:12:33,481 --> 00:12:34,814
the last two years.
132
00:12:34,815 --> 00:12:37,051
- Did you say two years?
133
00:12:37,052 --> 00:12:39,920
That would coincide with
all the disappearances.
134
00:12:39,921 --> 00:12:42,291
- Dude, geeks could kick your
ass.
135
00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:05,086
- Hey, Duke.
136
00:13:05,087 --> 00:13:06,654
How are the fish biting today?
137
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,157
- How the hell should I know?
138
00:13:08,158 --> 00:13:10,359
I'm concentrating on my workout.
139
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:11,895
- Oh, okay.
140
00:13:12,463 --> 00:13:13,897
- Hey, Johnson.
141
00:13:13,898 --> 00:13:15,765
My arms look any bigger?
142
00:13:15,766 --> 00:13:17,868
I swear they've grown an inch.
143
00:13:17,869 --> 00:13:20,106
- Nah, sorry, Duke, I don't see
it.
144
00:13:21,808 --> 00:13:23,710
- Damn powershakes.
145
00:13:23,711 --> 00:13:25,479
I knew they weren't worth a
shit.
146
00:14:05,662 --> 00:14:06,930
- Come on, baby.
147
00:14:06,931 --> 00:14:09,067
I'm gonna catch a big one today.
148
00:15:27,732 --> 00:15:28,934
- Nice!
149
00:15:29,168 --> 00:15:33,272
Your dad has good taste. - Hell,
yeah.
150
00:15:33,273 --> 00:15:35,274
Path to the beach is right
through there.
151
00:15:35,275 --> 00:15:35,809
- Oh.
152
00:15:36,209 --> 00:15:38,979
So let's check the inside first.
153
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,681
- Wait till you see the bedroom.
154
00:15:40,682 --> 00:15:41,916
It'll knock your pants off.
155
00:15:41,917 --> 00:15:42,417
- Really?
156
00:15:42,718 --> 00:15:43,718
- Oh, boy.
157
00:15:44,086 --> 00:15:47,423
- I was talking to Tonya, fruity
pebble.
158
00:15:56,602 --> 00:15:57,637
Yeah.
159
00:15:57,970 --> 00:15:59,971
Man, my dad won this in a poker
game
160
00:15:59,972 --> 00:16:01,207
from porky Clark.
161
00:16:01,208 --> 00:16:03,309
That game lasted three days.
162
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,078
- Sounds like a lucky guy.
163
00:16:05,079 --> 00:16:07,114
- Oh, man, luck ain't
got nothing to do with it.
164
00:16:07,115 --> 00:16:09,217
- Well, I know another
guy who's going to be lucky
165
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:12,288
if he quits talking and follows
me.
166
00:16:12,289 --> 00:16:15,292
Rodney, I'll see you in the
bedroom.
167
00:16:19,463 --> 00:16:20,499
- Yeah.
168
00:16:20,732 --> 00:16:24,002
Man, I knew this place would
juice her up.
169
00:16:24,003 --> 00:16:28,041
- Man, whatever happened
to bros before hos?
170
00:16:28,042 --> 00:16:32,347
- Bro, that ho blows.
171
00:16:32,914 --> 00:16:34,048
Go.
172
00:16:34,049 --> 00:16:35,092
- That's fine, that's fine.
173
00:16:35,116 --> 00:16:36,252
You know, get your freak on
174
00:16:36,485 --> 00:16:37,629
or whatever the hell you call
it.
175
00:16:37,653 --> 00:16:38,653
I'll see you later.
176
00:16:39,055 --> 00:16:40,756
I'll just rape a horseshoe
crab or something,
177
00:16:40,757 --> 00:16:42,925
it'll be fine, don't even worry
about it.
178
00:16:42,926 --> 00:16:44,162
- Sure thing, yeah.
179
00:16:48,834 --> 00:16:50,302
- Well.
180
00:16:50,502 --> 00:16:55,009
Came here for a story,
might as well get crackin'.
181
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,408
- Get you all.
182
00:18:06,265 --> 00:18:08,167
I know you're out there.
183
00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:15,910
And I'm gonna get you.
184
00:18:33,065 --> 00:18:35,066
- Hey.
185
00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:38,737
- How are you? - Good, how are
you?
186
00:18:38,738 --> 00:18:40,140
Get over here.
187
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,356
- Tonya!
188
00:19:13,349 --> 00:19:14,917
Oh, baby.
189
00:20:01,976 --> 00:20:03,712
- Hedras blokus.
190
00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:11,721
I'll be damned.
191
00:20:11,722 --> 00:20:13,556
Oh, yeah, those are some
footprints, baby.
192
00:20:13,557 --> 00:20:15,994
They don't look human,
either, this is great stuff.
193
00:20:17,963 --> 00:20:20,533
Time life, here I come.
194
00:20:27,942 --> 00:20:33,449
♪ Me and my surfing cadaver
195
00:20:34,985 --> 00:20:38,556
♪ my surfing cadaver
196
00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:40,533
- Ah, excuse me, sir.
197
00:21:40,534 --> 00:21:42,768
- What'd you do, kid, fart?
198
00:21:42,769 --> 00:21:44,905
- No, actually, my name's Rupert
pine,
199
00:21:44,906 --> 00:21:46,740
I'm a journalism major in
college
200
00:21:46,741 --> 00:21:48,843
and I was wondering if I
could ask you a few questions
201
00:21:48,844 --> 00:21:52,715
about the mysterious
disappearances going on here.
202
00:21:52,716 --> 00:21:55,184
- What are you, a writer
for muscle magazine?
203
00:21:55,185 --> 00:21:56,253
- No, I already told you,
204
00:21:56,454 --> 00:21:58,021
I'm a journalist major in
college.
205
00:21:58,022 --> 00:22:00,591
I actually tried to study
for marine biology,
206
00:22:00,592 --> 00:22:02,226
but that didn't quite work out.
207
00:22:02,227 --> 00:22:03,261
- Good thing.
208
00:22:03,562 --> 00:22:05,831
You don't look like the service
type.
209
00:22:05,832 --> 00:22:06,832
Hey.
210
00:22:07,133 --> 00:22:09,702
Did you ever see that
movie, "Hercules unchained"?
211
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:11,371
- No, can't say I have.
212
00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:13,374
- Best fucking movie ever made.
213
00:22:13,375 --> 00:22:15,008
- I'll take your word for it.
214
00:22:15,009 --> 00:22:16,344
- How about uh,
215
00:22:16,345 --> 00:22:18,547
"Hercules and the haunted
world"?
216
00:22:20,650 --> 00:22:24,788
"The sons of Hercules
versus the hydra thieves"?
217
00:22:24,789 --> 00:22:25,789
- No.
218
00:22:26,824 --> 00:22:29,027
- What do you do, kid, read
books?
219
00:22:30,129 --> 00:22:31,397
- Well, yeah, actually I do.
220
00:22:31,398 --> 00:22:32,465
- Figures.
221
00:22:32,832 --> 00:22:36,736
You know, I used to
lift with Gordon Mitchell
222
00:22:36,737 --> 00:22:39,707
and Steve Reeves at muscle
beach.
223
00:22:39,708 --> 00:22:41,275
- You're not even old enough to
have lifted
224
00:22:41,276 --> 00:22:42,476
when those guys were around.
225
00:22:42,477 --> 00:22:44,246
- Maybe it was Gordon parks.
226
00:22:44,247 --> 00:22:47,750
Anyway, few years back I
could have been Mr. Universe
227
00:22:47,751 --> 00:22:51,088
if I hadn't blown out one of my
bicuspids.
228
00:22:51,089 --> 00:22:54,425
- A bicuspid is a tooth, you
mean bicep.
229
00:22:54,426 --> 00:22:55,727
- Yeah, that's what I said.
230
00:22:55,728 --> 00:22:57,129
- Look, I was wondering if you
uh,
231
00:22:57,329 --> 00:23:01,100
have maybe seen anything
strange around here lately.
232
00:23:01,101 --> 00:23:03,637
- I did see two guys giving
it to each other up the butt
233
00:23:03,638 --> 00:23:04,738
over on that dune there last
week
234
00:23:04,739 --> 00:23:05,739
if that's what you mean.
235
00:23:06,073 --> 00:23:08,944
- Have you seen any sea monsters
lately?
236
00:23:10,078 --> 00:23:13,081
- Well, one time I thought I saw
a mermaid,
237
00:23:13,082 --> 00:23:17,187
but I think I had too
many steroids that day.
238
00:23:17,188 --> 00:23:18,422
That's it.
239
00:23:18,423 --> 00:23:19,557
Now get out of my way, kid,
240
00:23:19,558 --> 00:23:21,159
you're blocking the sun.
241
00:23:23,629 --> 00:23:24,730
- Whatever, muscle head.
242
00:23:25,097 --> 00:23:27,868
- By the way, the name's
Duke Larsen, squid.
243
00:23:34,443 --> 00:23:35,711
What do they think I am?
244
00:23:36,111 --> 00:23:40,550
Some moron that works out
on the beach all day?
245
00:23:52,665 --> 00:23:58,106
- Oh, baby.
246
00:24:06,350 --> 00:24:07,617
- Holy hell.
247
00:24:07,618 --> 00:24:08,819
- I know, baby.
248
00:24:08,820 --> 00:24:10,053
That was off the hizzy.
249
00:24:10,054 --> 00:24:12,590
- Something was staring at me.
250
00:24:13,492 --> 00:24:15,293
- It's probably just Rupert out
there
251
00:24:15,294 --> 00:24:17,496
beating off to some
Jacques Cousteau magazine
252
00:24:17,497 --> 00:24:18,231
or some shit.
253
00:24:18,465 --> 00:24:20,934
- It wasn't him.
254
00:24:20,935 --> 00:24:24,305
- Whatever it was, dude
oughtta be taking notes on me.
255
00:24:25,641 --> 00:24:27,742
You must be high from the
orgasm.
256
00:24:27,743 --> 00:24:29,112
There ain't nothing out there.
257
00:24:29,312 --> 00:24:33,349
- You didn't tell me this
place was full of perverts.
258
00:24:33,350 --> 00:24:35,084
- Let's go see the riptides.
259
00:24:35,085 --> 00:24:36,520
- Okay.
260
00:24:36,521 --> 00:24:42,394
♪ It's so fine, my 486
261
00:24:42,395 --> 00:24:47,668
♪ chicks just love my 486
262
00:24:48,603 --> 00:24:54,909
♪ computation's lightening quick
263
00:24:54,910 --> 00:25:00,850
♪ all backed up on a floppy disc
264
00:25:00,851 --> 00:25:02,552
♪ my high school poems
265
00:25:02,553 --> 00:25:07,124
♪ will never fade away
266
00:25:07,125 --> 00:25:09,761
♪ 'cause my 40-Meg hard drive
267
00:25:09,762 --> 00:25:12,265
♪ is really great
268
00:25:12,266 --> 00:25:13,826
- Hey, excuse me guys, sorry to
bug you.
269
00:25:14,168 --> 00:25:17,806
Do you have any idea about
a sea monster around here?
270
00:25:19,809 --> 00:25:20,977
How about you guys?
271
00:25:21,410 --> 00:25:23,044
Have there been like,
sea monster sightings here,
272
00:25:23,045 --> 00:25:24,680
you know anything about that?
273
00:25:24,681 --> 00:25:26,783
- Yeah, and I'm having his baby.
274
00:25:28,786 --> 00:25:30,688
- No, I'm serious.
275
00:25:32,358 --> 00:25:33,591
Man.
276
00:25:33,592 --> 00:25:34,693
Rowdy crowd.
277
00:25:38,899 --> 00:25:45,339
♪ This game of pong is
better than the arcade ♪
278
00:25:45,340 --> 00:25:49,077
♪ if I don't leave my
room I never get laid ♪
279
00:25:49,078 --> 00:25:50,078
- Quiet!
280
00:25:51,448 --> 00:25:53,951
Everyone please be quiet.
281
00:25:54,786 --> 00:25:56,821
Everyone, shut up!
282
00:26:01,861 --> 00:26:03,163
Listen to me.
283
00:26:04,031 --> 00:26:06,633
There's creatures out there
284
00:26:06,634 --> 00:26:08,535
killing people.
285
00:26:08,536 --> 00:26:10,205
And they'll kill you, too.
286
00:26:12,408 --> 00:26:15,844
I'm not fucking joking around
here, people!
287
00:26:15,845 --> 00:26:17,747
I'm serious!
288
00:26:19,283 --> 00:26:20,751
They're out there.
289
00:26:22,621 --> 00:26:24,756
They're watching us right now.
290
00:26:27,093 --> 00:26:28,660
Go home.
291
00:26:28,661 --> 00:26:30,764
Go home before they kill you,
too.
292
00:26:35,837 --> 00:26:41,944
♪ It's so fine my 486
293
00:26:41,945 --> 00:26:45,817
♪ chicks just love my 486
294
00:26:48,753 --> 00:26:50,456
- Freaky bitch.
295
00:26:54,594 --> 00:26:59,032
♪ All backed up on a floppy disc
296
00:26:59,033 --> 00:27:02,236
- Man, look at all this pooty
tang.
297
00:27:02,237 --> 00:27:04,739
- Hey, remember, you're here
with me.
298
00:27:04,740 --> 00:27:06,141
- Yeah, sure.
299
00:27:06,142 --> 00:27:07,843
Sure.
300
00:27:07,844 --> 00:27:11,047
♪ My 40-Meg hard drive is really
great ♪
301
00:27:11,048 --> 00:27:13,451
- I'm here with the brain.
302
00:27:16,254 --> 00:27:18,923
- That's why you're the only
ones I trust.
303
00:27:18,924 --> 00:27:22,829
Come on, give it to me, baby!
304
00:27:26,067 --> 00:27:30,938
♪ Its processor is as big as my
head ♪
305
00:27:30,939 --> 00:27:31,540
- Hey, Rodney.
306
00:27:31,907 --> 00:27:32,907
I found a lead, man.
307
00:27:33,409 --> 00:27:35,577
I'm gonna catch up with
you guys later, all right?
308
00:27:35,578 --> 00:27:36,847
- Yeah, yeah.
309
00:27:38,983 --> 00:27:45,357
♪ This game of pong is
better than the arcade ♪
310
00:27:45,358 --> 00:27:50,831
♪ if I don't leave my
room I never get laid ♪
311
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:57,739
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah
312
00:27:57,740 --> 00:28:00,876
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah
313
00:28:00,877 --> 00:28:05,148
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah
314
00:28:05,149 --> 00:28:10,888
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah
315
00:28:10,889 --> 00:28:14,027
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah
316
00:28:43,264 --> 00:28:45,031
- Hey, wait, hold on a second!
317
00:28:45,032 --> 00:28:46,032
- Leave me alone.
318
00:28:46,468 --> 00:28:49,737
- Look, I just wanna
talk to you for a second.
319
00:28:49,738 --> 00:28:50,974
- I said get lost, creep!
320
00:29:01,486 --> 00:29:03,088
- Look.
321
00:29:03,089 --> 00:29:05,993
All I wanted to tell ya was I
believe you.
322
00:29:10,431 --> 00:29:11,566
- You believe me?
323
00:29:55,087 --> 00:29:58,290
I am so sorry about that.
324
00:29:58,291 --> 00:30:00,260
- Tell that to my eyes and nuts.
325
00:30:01,128 --> 00:30:03,730
- My name's Tess Gardner.
326
00:30:03,731 --> 00:30:05,733
I live around here.
327
00:30:05,734 --> 00:30:08,737
Guess I'm considered the local
crazy now.
328
00:30:08,738 --> 00:30:11,707
- My name's Rupert
pine, I'm a journalist major
329
00:30:11,708 --> 00:30:13,543
in college.
330
00:30:13,544 --> 00:30:17,648
- So how come you believe my
story?
331
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,483
- To tell you the truth I'm
studying
332
00:30:19,484 --> 00:30:22,153
your population decline problem.
333
00:30:22,154 --> 00:30:23,714
I think something out there is
doing it.
334
00:30:23,789 --> 00:30:25,758
I think something out there
is coming up from the depths
335
00:30:25,759 --> 00:30:26,760
and killing people.
336
00:30:27,995 --> 00:30:29,731
- Well then you'd be right.
337
00:30:30,665 --> 00:30:32,834
My boyfriend I were staying in
that cabin
338
00:30:32,835 --> 00:30:34,802
that you guys are staying in.
339
00:30:34,803 --> 00:30:36,438
One night after we got it on
340
00:30:36,439 --> 00:30:39,074
we slipped outside to smoke a
joint
341
00:30:39,075 --> 00:30:41,244
and I kept hearing this weird
noise,
342
00:30:41,245 --> 00:30:42,485
but my boyfriend kept insisting
343
00:30:42,780 --> 00:30:44,815
that I had water ear because
we went skinny dipping
344
00:30:44,816 --> 00:30:47,551
right before we had sex.
- Just get to the point.
345
00:30:47,552 --> 00:30:50,188
- So then these
creatures attacked us
346
00:30:50,189 --> 00:30:52,091
and I ran away, but they ripped
him apart
347
00:30:52,092 --> 00:30:54,861
and dragged him back into the
ocean.
348
00:30:54,862 --> 00:30:56,297
- What did they look like?
349
00:30:59,100 --> 00:31:00,703
- Green.
350
00:31:01,704 --> 00:31:03,072
Scaly.
351
00:31:04,174 --> 00:31:05,575
Humanoid-like.
352
00:31:07,178 --> 00:31:09,514
I can't believe you even believe
me.
353
00:31:10,581 --> 00:31:14,252
Basically more terrifying
than your worst nightmare.
354
00:31:14,253 --> 00:31:15,254
- We need to get some
photographic evidence
355
00:31:15,255 --> 00:31:16,255
of these creatures.
356
00:31:16,689 --> 00:31:19,692
Maybe somebody can
believe us and help us out.
357
00:31:19,693 --> 00:31:20,693
- Us?
358
00:31:20,895 --> 00:31:22,095
You mean you're gonna help me?
359
00:31:22,496 --> 00:31:25,600
- You know what they say,
two heads are better than one.
360
00:31:29,972 --> 00:31:31,041
- Okay.
361
00:31:32,142 --> 00:31:33,709
♪ Grab your surf board, guys
362
00:31:33,710 --> 00:31:35,779
♪ we'll meet the girls on the
sand ♪
363
00:31:35,780 --> 00:31:39,318
♪ times a-wastin', don't
miss out on the plans ♪
364
00:31:44,591 --> 00:31:46,393
♪ Fast as we can
365
00:31:46,394 --> 00:31:48,262
♪ and soon the girls
366
00:33:06,494 --> 00:33:09,430
- We're here less than one
day you're fooling around on me!
367
00:33:09,431 --> 00:33:10,132
- I was just conversating with
them hos,
368
00:33:10,432 --> 00:33:11,333
it didn't mean nothing!
369
00:33:11,333 --> 00:33:12,333
- Yeah, right!
370
00:33:12,835 --> 00:33:15,404
That's what you probably
tell all your girlfriends.
371
00:33:15,405 --> 00:33:16,539
- What do you mean all my
girlfriends?
372
00:33:16,540 --> 00:33:17,708
- Ginger was right.
373
00:33:18,108 --> 00:33:21,178
She told me you'd dump
me after I got what I wanted.
374
00:33:21,179 --> 00:33:22,179
- You know ginger?
375
00:33:22,214 --> 00:33:23,747
- Yes, remember her?
376
00:33:23,748 --> 00:33:26,618
She was your last conquest,
wasn't she?
377
00:33:26,619 --> 00:33:28,321
- That was like three, four
girls ago.
378
00:33:28,322 --> 00:33:29,322
- Three?
379
00:33:29,323 --> 00:33:31,290
You are a pig!
380
00:33:31,291 --> 00:33:32,227
- Where are you going?
381
00:33:32,228 --> 00:33:33,628
- Away from you!
382
00:33:36,599 --> 00:33:38,433
- Man, aren't you gonna go after
her?
383
00:33:38,434 --> 00:33:39,902
- Man, screw her!
384
00:33:39,903 --> 00:33:41,570
There's plenty more where that
came from.
385
00:33:41,571 --> 00:33:42,872
- She's your girlfriend.
386
00:33:43,106 --> 00:33:47,278
- She ain't even worth it, B.
387
00:33:49,081 --> 00:33:50,781
- Finally some peace and quiet.
388
00:33:50,782 --> 00:33:54,019
- Tell that asshole that
I'll be down at the beach
389
00:33:54,020 --> 00:33:56,956
when he wants to apologize.
390
00:33:56,957 --> 00:34:00,494
- Yeah, and
tell her that day'll come
391
00:34:00,495 --> 00:34:01,896
when it comes!
392
00:35:24,667 --> 00:35:28,571
- I should have listened
to my sister and dated girls.
393
00:35:28,572 --> 00:35:32,076
All men are scum.
394
00:36:00,679 --> 00:36:04,049
About time you got your
ass out here to apologize.
395
00:36:06,086 --> 00:36:09,624
Ugh, couldn't you wait till we
made up?
396
00:37:00,754 --> 00:37:03,124
- Still no sign of Tonya, huh?
397
00:37:08,097 --> 00:37:10,432
It's getting kinda late.
398
00:37:10,433 --> 00:37:12,002
Shouldn't she be back by now?
399
00:37:17,942 --> 00:37:19,377
Well?
400
00:37:19,378 --> 00:37:20,713
What are you gonna do?
401
00:38:45,686 --> 00:38:48,222
- Come to momma.
402
00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:00,372
- The general says...
403
00:39:30,942 --> 00:39:34,980
- Welcome back, boils and
ghouls.
404
00:39:34,981 --> 00:39:37,451
It's your old fiend, specterini.
405
00:39:39,387 --> 00:39:42,990
Hey, did you see the eyes on
that monster?
406
00:39:42,991 --> 00:39:45,126
That reminds me, I'd better sign
up
407
00:39:45,127 --> 00:39:48,097
for the company ping pong
tournament.
408
00:39:48,098 --> 00:39:51,302
And now for something really
scary.
409
00:39:52,904 --> 00:39:56,341
- Want to get your day
off to an exciting start?
410
00:39:59,112 --> 00:40:02,182
Then try new sugar frosted
sugar.
411
00:40:07,022 --> 00:40:11,127
And every box has a special
surprise prize!
412
00:40:16,700 --> 00:40:19,104
- Hey, she got teeth.
413
00:40:24,276 --> 00:40:26,645
- $120 is great,
but this is healthy way
414
00:40:26,646 --> 00:40:27,847
to start your day.
415
00:40:27,848 --> 00:40:29,815
Today, every day, start today.
416
00:40:29,816 --> 00:40:32,953
- I highly recommend this cereal
417
00:40:32,954 --> 00:40:36,858
for a healthy great start to
your day.
418
00:40:36,859 --> 00:40:39,628
- Well, that was a lot of fun.
419
00:40:39,629 --> 00:40:42,098
I gotta get me some of that.
420
00:40:42,099 --> 00:40:44,801
Did you see the girl in this
movie?
421
00:40:44,802 --> 00:40:46,671
I gotta get some of that, too.
422
00:40:47,739 --> 00:40:53,179
And now back to our fright
filled feature.
423
00:41:38,102 --> 00:41:39,302
- What the hell are you doing?
424
00:41:39,571 --> 00:41:40,571
- Me?
425
00:41:40,706 --> 00:41:41,173
What the hell were you doing?
426
00:41:41,574 --> 00:41:42,574
- Walking home.
427
00:41:42,641 --> 00:41:43,709
Anything wrong with that?
428
00:41:44,276 --> 00:41:47,580
- The hell, you been lifting
weights on the beach all day?
429
00:41:47,581 --> 00:41:49,482
- Well, yeah.
430
00:41:49,483 --> 00:41:51,852
- I thought you were one of
those monsters.
431
00:41:51,853 --> 00:41:53,521
- Yeah, sea monsters.
432
00:41:53,522 --> 00:41:55,623
- Look, have you seen
my buddy's girlfriend at all?
433
00:41:55,624 --> 00:41:56,624
- No, why?
434
00:41:56,693 --> 00:41:57,860
She run off with a real man?
435
00:41:57,861 --> 00:41:58,938
- We don't know where she is,
436
00:41:58,962 --> 00:42:00,763
we haven't seen her all day.
437
00:42:00,764 --> 00:42:03,700
Have you seen anything
tonight that might be a little
weird?
438
00:42:03,701 --> 00:42:04,701
- Just you.
439
00:42:10,142 --> 00:42:12,746
- You're beautiful.
440
00:42:14,081 --> 00:42:15,549
- So I got the girl.
441
00:42:16,584 --> 00:42:18,820
And guess who got the gold.
442
00:43:33,380 --> 00:43:34,482
- Tonya!
443
00:43:35,917 --> 00:43:37,218
Tonya!
444
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:40,222
Tonya, where are you?
445
00:43:42,459 --> 00:43:43,526
Tonya!
446
00:43:45,730 --> 00:43:47,031
Tonya!
447
00:43:49,066 --> 00:43:51,736
Tonya, where are you?
448
00:43:51,737 --> 00:43:53,271
- Well, this can't be good.
449
00:43:56,743 --> 00:43:58,045
- Tonya!
450
00:44:00,014 --> 00:44:01,416
Hey, Tonya!
451
00:44:01,850 --> 00:44:03,184
God.
452
00:44:03,985 --> 00:44:05,221
- Still no sign of her?
453
00:44:05,588 --> 00:44:08,189
- No, man, I'm starting
to really get worried now.
454
00:44:08,190 --> 00:44:09,259
I mean, we fought before,
455
00:44:09,493 --> 00:44:12,094
but nothing like this ever
happened.
456
00:44:12,095 --> 00:44:13,797
You don't think she got a ride
back home
457
00:44:13,798 --> 00:44:14,798
or something, do ya?
458
00:44:14,799 --> 00:44:16,400
- I doubt it.
459
00:44:16,401 --> 00:44:18,636
- Where the hell is she, then?
460
00:44:18,637 --> 00:44:20,171
- I don't know, you think,
maybe she hooked up
461
00:44:20,172 --> 00:44:21,172
with somebody?
462
00:44:21,541 --> 00:44:24,276
- No, man, Tonya ain't like
that.
463
00:44:24,277 --> 00:44:26,379
All right, maybe she is like
that,
464
00:44:26,380 --> 00:44:30,218
but still, she wouldn't
let us worry like this.
465
00:44:31,119 --> 00:44:33,121
Look.
466
00:44:33,122 --> 00:44:35,123
You don't think that the
creature
467
00:44:35,124 --> 00:44:37,460
from the haunted sea
or whatever got to her,
468
00:44:37,461 --> 00:44:38,461
do ya?
469
00:44:38,595 --> 00:44:40,163
I mean, I always thought you
were crazy,
470
00:44:40,164 --> 00:44:41,732
I'll be up front with ya,
471
00:44:41,733 --> 00:44:43,267
but now I'm starting
to believe all that shit
472
00:44:43,268 --> 00:44:44,135
you've been spouting.
473
00:44:44,136 --> 00:44:45,304
- Gee, thanks.
474
00:44:46,505 --> 00:44:48,206
- Look, you gotta help me, all
right?
475
00:44:48,207 --> 00:44:49,508
I was the last guy seen with
her,
476
00:44:49,509 --> 00:44:50,843
we got in a huge fight-
477
00:44:50,844 --> 00:44:51,888
- we're gonna find her, okay?
478
00:44:51,912 --> 00:44:53,280
Don't even worry about it.
479
00:44:53,281 --> 00:44:54,915
- What the hell we gonna do
then?
480
00:44:54,916 --> 00:44:56,852
And no cops, no cops.
481
00:44:57,119 --> 00:44:58,463
- All right, look, I tell you
what.
482
00:44:58,487 --> 00:45:00,007
You're gonna go down that way
one mile,
483
00:45:00,190 --> 00:45:01,600
I'm gonna go that way one mile,
all right?
484
00:45:01,624 --> 00:45:03,927
We're gonna meet back
here in one hour, okay?
485
00:45:03,928 --> 00:45:06,329
If she's not here and
we still haven't found her
486
00:45:06,330 --> 00:45:07,407
we'll come up with a
plan B then, all right?
487
00:45:07,431 --> 00:45:08,866
- All right, Rupert. - Okay.
488
00:45:08,867 --> 00:45:10,401
- Peace out, one love, bro.
489
00:45:10,402 --> 00:45:12,971
Hey, wait, Rupert. - Yeah.
490
00:45:12,972 --> 00:45:14,206
- Listen.
491
00:45:14,207 --> 00:45:15,741
Don't know how to put this.
492
00:45:15,742 --> 00:45:18,444
If you do see her, if you find
her, right,
493
00:45:18,445 --> 00:45:21,448
let's say the thing got to her,
494
00:45:21,449 --> 00:45:23,751
try to save a piece of the body
part, like,
495
00:45:23,752 --> 00:45:25,720
with the teeth, the bite marks
on it
496
00:45:25,721 --> 00:45:28,090
so the cops can identify,
you know what I mean?
497
00:45:28,091 --> 00:45:30,092
'Cause I ain't going to jail.
498
00:45:30,093 --> 00:45:32,395
Forget that, I ain't going to
jail.
499
00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:33,964
- Yeah, I'll be sure to that
that for you.
500
00:45:33,965 --> 00:45:36,135
- All right, good.
501
00:46:33,306 --> 00:46:35,742
Hey, anybody seen Tonya?
502
00:46:36,743 --> 00:46:39,947
Anybody seen Tonya, my
girlfriend?
503
00:46:39,948 --> 00:46:44,052
White glasses, brown
hair, great, great ass.
504
00:46:44,053 --> 00:46:45,053
Oh, man.
505
00:47:03,811 --> 00:47:05,981
- Sorry, kid, it's not your
color.
506
00:47:06,881 --> 00:47:08,582
I had you pegged for a
heterosexual
507
00:47:08,583 --> 00:47:10,218
the first time I saw you.
508
00:47:10,219 --> 00:47:11,920
Got the panties to match?
509
00:47:11,921 --> 00:47:13,723
- Look, I'm looking for
the owner of this suit,
510
00:47:13,724 --> 00:47:14,890
all right?
511
00:47:14,891 --> 00:47:16,092
- What's his name?
512
00:47:16,093 --> 00:47:17,561
- Her name is Tonya.
513
00:47:17,562 --> 00:47:19,002
- Thought you kind didn't like
girls.
514
00:47:19,030 --> 00:47:20,597
- Look, she's
just a friend, that's all.
515
00:47:20,598 --> 00:47:21,598
- That makes sense.
516
00:47:21,767 --> 00:47:23,047
- Look, that's not what I meant.
517
00:47:23,168 --> 00:47:24,448
Have you seen a good looking
girl
518
00:47:24,638 --> 00:47:26,839
running around here,
maybe a little pissed off?
519
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:28,374
- If I had she'd be on my
shoulders
520
00:47:28,375 --> 00:47:30,443
while I was pumping iron.
521
00:47:30,444 --> 00:47:32,947
- You really need a life, man.
522
00:47:32,948 --> 00:47:35,316
- Hey, maybe your sea monster
got her,
523
00:47:35,317 --> 00:47:38,554
you fruity tooty.
524
00:48:01,950 --> 00:48:04,521
- Looks like some sort of egg
sack.
525
00:48:07,692 --> 00:48:08,993
Ah!
526
00:48:30,252 --> 00:48:32,588
- Man, this is some fucked up
shit.
527
00:48:32,589 --> 00:48:33,990
And pointless, too.
528
00:48:35,059 --> 00:48:36,561
Time to get high.
529
00:48:53,215 --> 00:48:54,650
Euphoria.
530
00:49:03,561 --> 00:49:06,599
That cloud looks like
a big ol' pair of titties.
531
00:49:55,993 --> 00:49:57,196
What the fuck?
532
00:49:58,096 --> 00:50:00,365
Hey, a chameleon!
533
00:50:11,546 --> 00:50:12,814
- Look out... hey, watch it,
kid,
534
00:50:12,815 --> 00:50:13,815
I'm working out here.
535
00:50:13,916 --> 00:50:15,036
- There's an egg sack there-
536
00:50:15,318 --> 00:50:18,621
- what's the matter, a
cock got your tongue?
537
00:50:18,622 --> 00:50:20,657
- There was, there was a
creature,
538
00:50:20,658 --> 00:50:22,359
those creatures attacked me, I'm
serious!
539
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:23,360
- Yeah, right.
540
00:50:23,761 --> 00:50:25,763
What did he do, try to
French kiss you, too?
541
00:50:25,764 --> 00:50:27,832
- You need to leave here right
now.
542
00:50:27,833 --> 00:50:29,835
Those things will be coming any
minute.
543
00:50:29,836 --> 00:50:32,339
- Look, I've worked out
on this beach all the time.
544
00:50:32,340 --> 00:50:34,074
Nothing's gonna stop me.
545
00:50:34,075 --> 00:50:36,711
Even some creature
from the 20,000th fathom.
546
00:50:36,712 --> 00:50:39,047
- Fine, it's your funeral,
asshole.
547
00:50:41,150 --> 00:50:42,584
- Sea monsters.
548
00:50:42,585 --> 00:50:44,722
What a bunch of porpoise piss!
549
00:51:01,376 --> 00:51:03,277
Man, I got the strangest feeling
550
00:51:03,278 --> 00:51:04,713
something's watching me.
551
00:51:15,327 --> 00:51:17,729
Nope, just that chili I had for
breakfast.
552
00:51:20,633 --> 00:51:21,701
- Rodney!
553
00:51:21,901 --> 00:51:23,803
Rodney, I saw one of the
creatures!
554
00:51:23,804 --> 00:51:25,638
Rodney, answer me!
555
00:51:25,639 --> 00:51:26,840
- He's dead.
556
00:51:28,443 --> 00:51:29,878
- What did you say?
557
00:51:31,047 --> 00:51:32,181
- He's dead.
558
00:51:33,182 --> 00:51:34,617
So is the girl.
559
00:51:37,654 --> 00:51:39,223
Creatures got 'em.
560
00:51:44,563 --> 00:51:46,065
I'm really sorry.
561
00:51:47,233 --> 00:51:48,335
- Yeah.
562
00:51:49,736 --> 00:51:51,005
Yeah, me too.
563
00:51:52,873 --> 00:51:56,344
- Look, there's something
else I need to show you.
564
00:51:56,345 --> 00:51:57,345
- What's that?
565
00:52:07,726 --> 00:52:09,593
- Look. - Oh, wow.
566
00:52:09,594 --> 00:52:11,329
- The nest.
567
00:52:11,330 --> 00:52:14,000
They're reproducing now.
568
00:52:14,001 --> 00:52:15,368
- I saw one of these
things on the shoreline,
569
00:52:15,369 --> 00:52:16,369
I went down to pick it up
570
00:52:16,703 --> 00:52:19,373
and one of those things tried to
kill me.
571
00:52:19,374 --> 00:52:20,808
- We have to destroy it.
572
00:52:23,412 --> 00:52:25,781
This is for my boyfriend.
573
00:52:25,782 --> 00:52:27,817
- This is for Rodney and Tonya.
574
00:52:31,922 --> 00:52:33,658
These things probably belong to
some sort
575
00:52:33,659 --> 00:52:35,526
of amphibian creature.
576
00:52:35,527 --> 00:52:39,431
They probably keep all
their eggs in one nest.
577
00:52:39,432 --> 00:52:41,299
- So then there's probably no
more nests.
578
00:52:41,300 --> 00:52:43,637
- Yeah, I would
say that's probably a safe bet.
579
00:52:45,306 --> 00:52:47,241
- Oh, shit, I think we pissed
'em off.
580
00:52:47,242 --> 00:52:48,943
- Let's get out of here.
581
00:52:57,588 --> 00:52:59,156
Hey, wait. - What?
582
00:52:59,157 --> 00:53:01,426
- The party, we gotta help those
people.
583
00:53:01,427 --> 00:53:03,027
- Oh, shit, you're right.
584
00:53:03,028 --> 00:53:04,696
Oh, man, they're nothing but a
beach buffet
585
00:53:04,697 --> 00:53:05,764
to those monsters.
586
00:53:05,765 --> 00:53:06,900
Come on, let's go.
587
00:53:09,303 --> 00:53:10,303
Do something!
588
00:53:10,371 --> 00:53:15,377
- What, what do I do? -
Anything!
589
00:53:18,715 --> 00:53:20,182
- You should have kicked it in
the nuts.
590
00:53:20,183 --> 00:53:22,352
- I don't think it had any.
591
00:53:28,159 --> 00:53:29,327
Everybody, get out of here!
592
00:53:29,328 --> 00:53:29,562
Go home!
593
00:53:30,162 --> 00:53:31,197
- They're on their way,
594
00:53:31,831 --> 00:53:33,631
there's probably about
seven or eight of them.
595
00:53:35,869 --> 00:53:39,406
- Shit, I don't think they can
hear us.
596
00:53:39,407 --> 00:53:42,710
Morons, morons,
they're all gonna be killed.
597
00:53:42,711 --> 00:53:43,512
- Well, at least we tried,
right?
598
00:53:43,712 --> 00:53:44,712
- Now what do we do?
599
00:53:44,981 --> 00:53:46,025
- We're gonna go back to the
cabin,
600
00:53:46,049 --> 00:53:47,169
we're gonna call the police,
601
00:53:47,517 --> 00:53:49,185
we're gonna call somebody
who will listen to us.
602
00:53:49,186 --> 00:53:50,421
- No, I tried that already.
603
00:53:50,621 --> 00:53:51,781
They're not gonna believe us.
604
00:53:51,923 --> 00:53:55,026
- We're gonna make 'em believe
us.
605
00:54:47,459 --> 00:54:49,562
- Holy final Hercules!
606
00:55:06,784 --> 00:55:09,819
♪ Here at splatter beach
607
00:55:09,820 --> 00:55:12,923
♪ here at splatter beach
608
00:55:12,924 --> 00:55:15,927
♪ you crazy kids oughta get away
609
00:55:15,928 --> 00:55:18,164
♪ looking for sun and fun
610
00:55:18,165 --> 00:55:21,969
♪ the ocean is dripping with
Rodney, Tess, and Tonya ♪
611
00:55:21,970 --> 00:55:25,138
♪ here at splatter beach
612
00:55:25,139 --> 00:55:28,042
♪ here at splatter beach
613
00:55:28,043 --> 00:55:31,046
♪ here at splatter beach
614
00:55:31,047 --> 00:55:37,020
♪ here at splatter beach
615
00:55:37,021 --> 00:55:39,657
♪ suddenly things turn creepy
616
00:55:39,658 --> 00:55:42,828
♪ the party got crashed
by a gang of monsters ♪
617
00:55:42,829 --> 00:55:43,997
♪ gang of monsters
618
00:55:44,330 --> 00:55:47,333
♪ and the girls run around
in their underpants ♪
619
00:55:47,334 --> 00:55:50,371
♪ down at splatter beach
620
00:55:50,372 --> 00:55:53,341
♪ down at splatter beach
621
00:55:53,342 --> 00:55:56,311
♪ down at splatter beach
622
00:55:56,312 --> 00:56:01,586
♪ down at splatter beach
623
00:56:02,553 --> 00:56:05,356
♪ down at splatter beach
624
00:56:05,357 --> 00:56:08,226
♪ down at splatter beach
625
00:56:08,227 --> 00:56:13,467
♪ down at splatter beach
626
00:56:17,572 --> 00:56:20,142
♪ whoooo
627
00:56:25,816 --> 00:56:29,653
- I think I ruptured my pancreas
628
00:56:29,654 --> 00:56:32,058
- I think I got my period.
629
00:56:35,061 --> 00:56:36,229
Oh, god!
630
00:56:37,464 --> 00:56:39,131
- Oh, yeah!
631
00:56:39,132 --> 00:56:40,734
- What are you doing, how's you
do that?
632
00:56:40,735 --> 00:56:41,735
- French foreign legion.
633
00:56:42,070 --> 00:56:45,407
- Can we discuss this inside,
please!
634
00:56:46,909 --> 00:56:49,346
- Call the cops, quick!
635
00:56:53,584 --> 00:56:54,818
- It's dead.
636
00:56:54,819 --> 00:56:56,287
- How about a cell phone?
637
00:56:56,288 --> 00:56:57,489
- I don't have one.
638
00:56:57,756 --> 00:57:00,158
- I didn't think you'd
have any friends to call.
639
00:57:00,159 --> 00:57:01,294
- Got one.
640
00:57:02,762 --> 00:57:03,997
Shit!
641
00:57:03,998 --> 00:57:05,131
I never paid up my minutes.
642
00:57:05,132 --> 00:57:05,566
- Great.
643
00:57:05,933 --> 00:57:06,933
Hey, dude.
644
00:57:07,335 --> 00:57:09,036
Maybe you could force feed 'em a
powershake
645
00:57:09,037 --> 00:57:10,237
and put 'em in a sleeper hold.
646
00:57:10,405 --> 00:57:11,706
- Maybe you could make 'em a
bowl of cereal
647
00:57:11,707 --> 00:57:12,707
you froot loop.
648
00:57:12,842 --> 00:57:13,875
- I told you I'm not gay.
649
00:57:13,876 --> 00:57:14,844
- You're gay?
650
00:57:14,845 --> 00:57:16,079
- No!
651
00:57:34,068 --> 00:57:34,970
- Shit. - It's dead.
652
00:57:34,970 --> 00:57:35,970
Great.
653
00:57:36,638 --> 00:57:38,673
Why don't you go outside and
see if you can bench press 'em?
654
00:57:38,674 --> 00:57:39,908
- How about if I bench press
you,
655
00:57:39,909 --> 00:57:41,009
you pop tart?
656
00:57:41,010 --> 00:57:43,046
- Look, man... sh!
657
00:57:43,047 --> 00:57:44,615
Think I hear something.
658
00:57:59,667 --> 00:58:01,168
Oh, god.
659
00:58:01,169 --> 00:58:03,138
We need to get some weapons.
660
00:58:22,362 --> 00:58:24,531
- Just what the doctor ordered.
661
00:58:34,611 --> 00:58:35,545
- Yes.
662
00:58:35,546 --> 00:58:38,081
This could stop a t-Rex.
663
00:58:38,082 --> 00:58:39,850
Sweet!
664
00:58:39,851 --> 00:58:40,984
- Yeah, that's great.
665
00:58:40,985 --> 00:58:41,985
What about me?
666
00:58:43,522 --> 00:58:44,755
- Here.
667
00:58:44,756 --> 00:58:46,892
That'll work in a close
encounter.
668
00:58:46,893 --> 00:58:48,093
- No, I want the gun.
669
00:58:48,094 --> 00:58:50,731
- No way, finders keepers!
670
00:58:51,765 --> 00:58:54,101
- Let's go, come on.
671
00:58:54,102 --> 00:58:56,671
- Help me, help me!
672
00:58:56,672 --> 00:58:58,174
- Pry it loose!
673
00:59:11,790 --> 00:59:13,993
- Thanks, baby.
674
00:59:13,994 --> 00:59:16,363
- My name is Tess, meathead.
675
00:59:16,364 --> 00:59:17,465
- Sure, baby.
676
00:59:19,033 --> 00:59:20,501
Ugly suckers.
677
00:59:20,502 --> 00:59:22,036
They any relation to you, kid?
678
00:59:22,037 --> 00:59:23,237
- Hey, up yours, Duke.
679
00:59:23,238 --> 00:59:24,806
- You'd like that, kid.
680
00:59:24,807 --> 00:59:26,942
- How many more do you think are
out there?
681
00:59:26,943 --> 00:59:27,943
- Lots.
682
00:59:29,713 --> 00:59:31,949
- Coast looks clear out there
now.
683
00:59:31,950 --> 00:59:33,184
- There's probably tons of
them hiding in the shadows
684
00:59:33,185 --> 00:59:34,185
waiting for us.
685
00:59:34,753 --> 00:59:36,821
- Well, if we stay in here
we're gonna be fish food.
686
00:59:36,822 --> 00:59:37,822
- He's right.
687
00:59:38,157 --> 00:59:39,792
- Damn straight I'm right,
honey.
688
00:59:39,793 --> 00:59:41,294
- My name is Tess.
689
00:59:41,295 --> 00:59:43,262
- Sure thing, honey.
690
00:59:43,263 --> 00:59:45,766
Who owns the car out there?
691
00:59:45,767 --> 00:59:46,767
- It's Rodney's.
692
00:59:46,768 --> 00:59:48,369
Was.
693
00:59:48,370 --> 00:59:50,538
- Somebody got the keys?
694
00:59:50,539 --> 00:59:52,576
- Gotta be around here
somewhere.
695
01:00:07,494 --> 01:00:08,494
Okay, I found them!
696
01:00:08,629 --> 01:00:10,231
- Ah, yes. - Hand 'em over.
697
01:00:11,733 --> 01:00:13,901
- Asshole, you're supposed to
catch 'em!
698
01:00:13,902 --> 01:00:16,705
- Yeah, I got something in my
eye.
699
01:00:16,706 --> 01:00:20,209
- Okay, um, can we hotwire the
car?
700
01:00:20,210 --> 01:00:21,178
- I don't even know how to drive
a car.
701
01:00:21,178 --> 01:00:22,178
- What?
702
01:00:22,546 --> 01:00:24,348
- Then why did you want the
keys?
703
01:00:24,349 --> 01:00:25,549
- 'Cause I'm cool.
704
01:00:25,550 --> 01:00:27,285
- All right, that's it.
705
01:00:27,286 --> 01:00:29,622
You punks are on your own, I'm
outta here.
706
01:00:30,557 --> 01:00:31,758
- That's beautiful.
707
01:00:31,992 --> 01:00:33,526
- What are we gonna do now?
708
01:00:37,098 --> 01:00:39,800
My god, we gotta go help her.
709
01:00:39,801 --> 01:00:41,569
- Help, help!
710
01:00:41,570 --> 01:00:42,804
- No, I thought we'd dance.
711
01:00:42,805 --> 01:00:44,474
- You probably would, ya fruit
cup.
712
01:00:46,042 --> 01:00:47,111
- No!
713
01:00:47,845 --> 01:00:49,612
- Let's go kick some slimy ass.
714
01:00:49,613 --> 01:00:51,148
- I didn't think you had it in
ya, kid.
715
01:00:51,149 --> 01:00:51,950
- The name's Rupert.
716
01:00:52,150 --> 01:00:53,318
- Whatever, kid.
717
01:00:57,056 --> 01:00:58,892
Die, you ugly suckers!
718
01:00:59,793 --> 01:01:00,793
Yeah!
719
01:01:21,487 --> 01:01:23,522
- It's over.
720
01:01:23,523 --> 01:01:25,725
They're all dead.
721
01:01:25,726 --> 01:01:26,660
- Yeah.
722
01:01:26,661 --> 01:01:28,328
You got me to thank for that.
723
01:01:28,329 --> 01:01:29,329
- You?
724
01:01:29,464 --> 01:01:31,398
What do you think I did?
725
01:01:31,399 --> 01:01:33,768
- Screamed like a girl and wet
your pants.
726
01:01:33,769 --> 01:01:35,503
Look, your skirt's ripped, kid.
727
01:01:35,504 --> 01:01:36,539
- The name's Rupert.
728
01:01:36,906 --> 01:01:39,409
- Yeah, well I wouldn't say that
too loud.
729
01:01:40,744 --> 01:01:42,679
- Tess.
730
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:45,350
- We thought you gave up the
ghost.
731
01:01:45,351 --> 01:01:48,520
- Yeah. - What the hell
happened?
732
01:01:49,622 --> 01:01:52,024
- I don't even remember.
733
01:01:52,025 --> 01:01:55,895
Those creatures grabbed
me and I just blacked out.
734
01:01:55,896 --> 01:01:58,633
- Well, you're safe now, they're
all dead.
735
01:02:00,035 --> 01:02:01,471
- No thanks to me.
736
01:02:03,139 --> 01:02:04,440
- Hey, where ya going?
737
01:02:04,441 --> 01:02:06,376
- I'm going back to the gym.
738
01:02:06,377 --> 01:02:07,678
It's safer there.
739
01:02:08,346 --> 01:02:09,980
- Good riddance.
740
01:02:09,981 --> 01:02:10,515
Jerk off.
741
01:02:10,715 --> 01:02:12,717
- Yeah, seriously.
742
01:02:12,718 --> 01:02:15,153
- You know, this place is
gonna smell like a fish market
743
01:02:15,154 --> 01:02:16,690
by the time noon hits.
744
01:02:17,190 --> 01:02:18,558
- Ugh.
745
01:02:19,926 --> 01:02:23,063
Yeah, yeah, we should call the
police.
746
01:02:23,064 --> 01:02:25,601
Now everybody will know I'm not
crazy.
747
01:02:26,902 --> 01:02:29,371
- Think you're crazy enough to
maybe
748
01:02:29,372 --> 01:02:31,507
go out on a date sometime?
749
01:02:31,508 --> 01:02:33,676
- Oh, sorry.
750
01:02:33,677 --> 01:02:37,449
After my last boyfriend I
decided I'm turning lesbo.
751
01:02:38,350 --> 01:02:40,285
- Fair enough.
752
01:02:40,286 --> 01:02:41,353
- But I'll see ya around.
753
01:02:41,354 --> 01:02:42,955
- Yeah, take care.
754
01:02:47,194 --> 01:02:50,698
Still, it's gonna make one hell
of a story.
755
01:08:52,519 --> 01:08:55,322
♪ Here at splatter beach
756
01:08:55,323 --> 01:08:58,525
♪ here at splatter beach
757
01:08:58,526 --> 01:09:01,630
♪ you crazy kids oughta get away
758
01:09:01,631 --> 01:09:03,566
♪ looking for sun and fun
759
01:09:03,567 --> 01:09:07,704
♪ the ocean is dripping with
Rodney, Tess, and Tonya ♪
760
01:09:07,705 --> 01:09:10,642
♪ here at splatter beach
761
01:09:10,643 --> 01:09:13,778
♪ here at splatter beach
762
01:09:13,779 --> 01:09:16,682
♪ here at splatter beach
763
01:09:16,683 --> 01:09:22,423
♪ here at splatter beach
764
01:09:22,424 --> 01:09:25,726
♪ suddenly things turn creepy
765
01:09:25,727 --> 01:09:28,830
♪ the party got crashed
by a gang of monsters ♪
766
01:09:28,831 --> 01:09:30,333
♪ gang of monsters
767
01:09:30,334 --> 01:09:33,236
♪ and the girls run around
in their underpants ♪
768
01:09:33,237 --> 01:09:36,140
♪ down at splatter beach
769
01:09:36,141 --> 01:09:39,044
♪ down at splatter beach
770
01:09:39,045 --> 01:09:42,114
♪ down at splatter beach
771
01:09:42,115 --> 01:09:47,422
♪ down at splatter beach
772
01:09:48,122 --> 01:09:51,125
♪ down at splatter beach
773
01:09:51,126 --> 01:09:54,229
♪ down at splatter beach
774
01:09:54,230 --> 01:09:59,503
♪ down at splatter beach
775
01:10:02,641 --> 01:10:05,043
♪ whooo
53369
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