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1 (EXHALES, INHALES)

(GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

DOCTOR: Thank you.

And now send in Mr. X.

Where'd you learn that trick?

My old man ran a gym back in Galesburg, Illinois.

Ever been there?

Let me buy you a drink.

No, thanks.

I saw Mary last night. She asked about you.

Oh? Is she still editing that women's magazine?

What'll you have to drink, old buddy?

Skip me. I'm a ginger ale man ever since the old ulcer started acting up.

Who are you?

Why are you getting so excited?

(ELECTRONIC VOICE) We're still friends, aren’t we?

I sure hope so after all these years.

He's everything you said.

I beg your pardon?

He was speaking to me.

Oh, sorry.

Wait till you see the face. It's perfect.

The life mask fits over here...

and the robot becomes our Army Major.

Through these apertures, his eyes...

he observes and records everything.

And he transmits every detail back to us.

How you going to get him to talk like Major Sloane?

We're just putting that together now.

Nobody will ever know the difference.

Uh, Vince, I'm still waiting for the rest of that personal history.

You'll have it this afternoon.

How are we for time?

It'll be close, but we’re alright.

Dolenz, I'm very pleased.

Thank you, Mr. Wilson.

Al?

With him on the payroll...

who's gonna stop us from getting that missile guidance system?

FLIGHT COM: It looks good at NASA One.

B-52 PILOT: Roger.

BCS Arm switch is on.

FLIGHT COM: Okay, Victor.

B-52 PILOT: Landing Rocket Arm switch is on. Here comes the throttle.

Circuit breakers in.

STEVE: We have separation.

B-52 PILOT: Inboard and outboards are on.

I'm comin' forward with the side stick.

FLIGHT COM: Looks good.

PILOT:Ah, Roger.

STEVE: I've got a blowout in damper three.

SR-71 PILOT: Get your pitch to zero.

STEVE: Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!

B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is off. Threat selector is emergency.

STEVE: Flight Com, I can't hold it! She's breaking up! She's breaking--

ANNOUNCER: Steve Austin. Astronaut.

A man barely alive.

We can rebuild him.

We have the technology.

We can make him better than he was.

Better, stronger, faster.

(MAIN TITLE THEME)

FRED: I don't believe it!

How long can you stay lucky?

STEVE: I do feel loose today.

(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)

Come on. You're not that good!

I mean, you never beat me in your life!

I just got tired of losing, Fred.

(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)

STEVE: Game, set and match. Sorry, Fred.

I don't believe it.

You've been hitting that line like the ball was programmed.

Who you taking lessons from?

No lessons. I just learned to keep my eye on the ball.

I never thought I'd see the day you'd beat me three straight sets.

You still got your memories, Fred.

Yeah.

Look, I wish I had time for you to buy me lunch...

but I gotta meet somebody.

Well, I'd like that, but I've got an appointment, too.

How about next week?

Sure. Same time? Here?

Yeah. Okay.

It was good seeing you, Steve.

Yeah.

And don't get overconfident because next week I'm gonna use my big serve on you.

I wish you'd have used it this week.

It'd make the game a little more interesting.

I'll see you next week.

Okay, pal.

I thought you had to meet someone.

Yeah, I do.

I'm waiting for him right now.

Here?

Mmm-hmm.

Me, too.

Hi, Fred.

Oscar.

How are you?

Oscar. Hello, Steve.

You two know each other?

Oh, yes.

I thought it'd be simpler to have our meeting here...

and let you take out your frustration on the tennis court first.

I think that’s a good idea, Oscar. I feel great.

I think it was a terrible idea.

He beat me three straight sets.

Uh-oh.

What's it all about?

Now this is the way things were before Major Sloane...

got involved in our anti-missile missile program.

And now, thanks to Fred...

we're able to intercept short-range missiles...

as little as three minutes advance warning...

of an approaching enemy missile.

STEVE: Mighty impressive.

FRED: Yeah. That was the good news.

I thought I had all the problems licked.

The bad news is that subsequent tests have proved erratic.

Like Fred's backhand?

Knock it off.

I had to go back to the drawing board which is where I've been for the last year.

But I think I got it knocked this time. I think.

He has. It's fail-safe.

Fred, you're gonna have to help me here because I'm not a scientist...

but, um, what you've done is design a-- let me check my notes here.

A microwave circuit card...

OSCAR: which is the activator, and a separate ignition unit.

Unless the activator card is plugged in, the ignition unit is useless.

OSCAR: Now is that right? Right.

But how do I plug into this, Oscar?

Preliminary tests have proved successful.

The final test of five anti-missile missiles take place tomorrow at noon.

You are to see that Fred...

OSCAR: and the activator card arrive at the ordinance testing facility.

I told him I didn't need anybody to ride shotgun, but...

I guess in your case I'll make an exception.

Well, much obliged.

You'll be traveling as sportsmen on a fishing trip.

We decided that would attract the least attention.

You're going through a lot of trouble for nothing.

You're to report to General Tanhill. He's expecting you.

Sergeant? Yes, sir?

Sergeant, this is Colonel Austin and Major Sloane.

How do you do?

I want you to requisition an automobile.

Fishing equipment, clothes, luggage, personal effects, whatever.

Yes, sir. Will they need overnight accommodations?

No, they'll be spending the night at the ordinance testing facility.

Yes, sir. What about weapons?

None.

And how soon will they be leaving?

Immediately.

That's about it.

Yes, sir.

If we’re gonna be leaving immediately, I gotta make a phone call.

Fred...

no one is to know that you're leaving.

The sergeant will help you with the phone.

And, Fred?

Good luck.

Thanks.

But why me?

Why haven't you told him?

I don't wanna burden him with it. You mean you don't trust him?

There's no need for him to know. He's high strung enough as it is.

If he knew, he might worry some, but he'd be more cautious.

It's better this way.

Besides, he's got the best protection anybody could have.

You know, you're ruining my tennis.

(WHIRRING)

RECORDED SLOANE: The answer to your question is simple.

I saw the need for the activator when I was R&D officer...

at Aberdeen Proving Grounds.

The principle of it had always been clear to me.

(BEEPS)

This activator that you've devised seems so simple.

Why can't it be duplicated?

Programming tape series J, Activator 1-1-1.

The activator is simple...

but its circuitry is designed to fit into the circuitry of the ignition unit.

So that the pieces of one element are in truth half the pieces of the other.

It's more than just two pieces of metal jammed into a slot.

If you had stripped the activator, for example...

you'd find what looks like a bunch of electronic threads.

These become electronic ropes, so to speak...

when joined with the threads of the ignition unit.

Programming tape series N, history 3-6-6.

Do you remember that night in San Francisco?

What was her name? Jeanie? Yeah, Jeanie.

Which one was Jeanie?

The one in the cable car with the skis.

Skis on a cable car, yes. Yes, I remember.

See how we followed through on the personnel records?

I'm sorry, I forgot your name.

Sloane. Fredrick W.

Major, U.S. Air Force. Can I buy you a drink?

He doesn't drink or eat.

That's just leftover from his earlier social conversation tapes.

Did you find out who’s got the activator cards?

Steve Austin.

How soon can you make the switch?

Two hours. Helicopters?

Yes, sir. Everything.

Mr. Sloane...

you recognize this man?

Are you serious? That's my buddy, Steve.

When was the last time you saw Mr. Austin?

Mister? You mean Colonel Austin, don't you?

Steve would cringe if anybody called him mister.

He's all Air Force. There's not a drop of mister in him.

Last time I saw my buddy, Steve Austin, was on the tennis court this morning.

You're looking a little pale, Fred.

I don't know why, but my stomach is turning somersaults.

It's probably something you ate.

Outside of that cup of coffee that Master Sergeant gave me...

I haven't had a thing to eat all day.

Well, you know Army coffee. Shall I pull over?

Oh, no, no. I'll be alright.

How'd you get into this anti-missile bag?

Last time I heard, you were up to your ears in recovery vehicle guidance.

Well, I knew they were working on it and having problems with it...

so I just offered to take a crack at it.

That's pretty impressive what you've done.

I hope you can still say that after the tests.

Say, I think you better-- better pull over at the first station.

I'm gonna be sick.

Whatever you say, pal.

Well, I won't be long, I think.

Oh, take your time.

If I don't come out in a half hour, come in and get me.

(JIGGLES LOCK, KNOCKS)

Somebody in there?

Yeah. Guess so.

Sometimes it gets stuck.

Well, that was quick. Glad to see the color's back in your face.

It's the tennis and clean living.

I feel like driving, Steve.

You gotta be kidding. Sick as you were a few minutes ago?

No, I feel fine.

Besides, you're supposed to be the bodyguard, not the driver.

I think you've got me there.

Reception's quite good, considering the distance.

Naturally. We're bouncing off the satellite I leased.

Well, that was the quickest recovery I've ever seen.

Too bad we really can't go fishing.

Perfect weather for it.

Yeah, it sure is.

Eye-hand coordination?

It's leveled off at 92.6.

Very good. Overall reflexes?

87 percent.

Slight problem with the right foot. Pressure's a little low.

How fast is he driving?

Forty-two.

You're going a little slow, aren't you?

We have plenty of time, Steve.

Let's let that car pass.

What car?

There's been one behind us ever since we left the station.

You weren't so nervous in the old days, Steve.

It's just a coincidence.

Yeah, well, let's let him pass anyway.

Here he comes.

Let's let him get way out ahead of us.

Anything you say, Steve.

You know, I checked every face at that station.

No one seemed interested in us but, uh...

I guess my antennae are always out.

Your what?

My antennae. Seems like I'm always picking up signals.

I didn't know you had antennae.

Come on, Fred. Let's get this crate moving.

We won’t make it there by dark.

Is it the tension adjustment?

No, it doesn't seem to be, but something’s wrong.

How fast is the car going now?

37.5.

Clear the foot circuit.

If that doesn’t work, we'll plug in the stand-by power pack.

35? You gotta be putting me on.

You know, Steve, the first time I met you at Lackland...

I knew you’d end up being one of the moon-shot boys.

Fred...

would you get the lead out?

Stand-by right foot power pack on.

Now, that's better.

Yes.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Fred--

You wanted to go faster.

I know, but I'd like to get there in one piece.

Get the pressure off his right foot! He's doing 80!

It's stuck.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Stop him. Stop him!

Well, that was fun.

I'm sorry, Steve. I got a cramp in my foot.

Yeah, I guess.

All we need is a little lift out of this ditch.

Let's get to a phone and call a tow truck.

I can get us out of here, if you promise not to tell anybody how I do it.

Sure, Steve.

(METAL CREAKING)

How could he do that?

I didn't think it was possible for a human.

But he did it.

(FAST BEEPING)

Mr. Dolenz! The robot's imitating Austin!

(METAL CREAKING)

That was a neat trick, Fred.

Did I do it right, Steve?

Yeah. I'll drive.

Why did you let the robot do that?

Originally, I trained the robot to imitate everything I did.

There must've been a trace of that left in its memory bank.

But it won't happen again.

Who is Steve Austin?

How did he lift that car? What is he?

I don't know. Parnell never mentioned anything unusual about him.

But I'm sure everything will work out, Mr. Wilson.

All we have to do now--

I'm not gonna do anything until I've had time to think this out.

We need time.

Very well. We're programmed for that.

Al? Let's get the robot sick.

Oh, my stomach.

Again?

It's really tied up in knots.

I'll pull over as soon as we get around this curve.

No, what I'd really like, Steve, is to lie down.

Why don't you stop at the first motel?

I haven't felt this way since we all got dysentery, remember?

Yeah, I remember.

We've got time. The tests aren't until noon tomorrow.

Well, I'm not crazy about stopping anywhere until we reach the testing facility.

I feel like dying, Steve.

That's funny. You don't look pale like you did before.

Steve, please. Stop at the first motel. I've gotta lie down.

Maybe I can sleep it off.

You've got the activator in a safe place?

Yeah.

Maybe you oughta tell me where it is just in case something happens.

I think it'll be safer for you if you don't know where it is, Fred.

(CLOCK TICKING)

Steve?

Where are you going?

Oh, I was just going to check with Oscar.

Why don't you call from here?

It's one of those silly rules, Fred.

Always call him from a pay phone.

I’ll be back soon.

Austin suspects.

Otherwise he would’ve called from the room.

Just give the word, Mr. Wilson...

and Parnell and his men will dispose of Austin right now.

I don't know.

Oscar?

Steve! Where are you? What happened?

Oscar, is there anyone else like me?

A simple answer?

STEVE: Yeah.

No.

Are you sure?

I believe so. Why?

Well, it's Sloane.

What about him?

He's more powerful than the Fred Sloane I know.

Too powerful.

Well what did he do?

He showed me some bionic strength.

I don't think that's possible.

Now look, Oscar, I saw it.

Now there can be more than one genius doctor, can't there?

More than one project like mine?

I don't know. I'll find out.

Where are you?

Sloane got sick.

We're at a motel for the night.

We’ll be at the testing site in the morning.

Steve, maybe we better call it off.

No. If we're gonna find out what’s going on, I've gotta go along with it.

Maybe somebody's gotten to him.

Brainwashed him. I don't know.

Alright, I'll get on it.

Thanks, Oscar.

Austin just left the phone booth and went back into the motel.

Standing by.

It's too risky to kill Austin now.

He's probably alerted Goldman...

and if Austin disappeared, they might cancel the tests.

Better to wait till shortly before the test is scheduled...

then they'll have no time to stop us.

Parnell. Parnell?

We'll take care of Austin tomorrow.

Right.

WILSON: Alright. Let's put the robot to sleep.

You sure you're up to driving?

Yes. I feel fine now.

What was the name of that gal you were chasing after the last time I saw you?

She was an airline stewardess, wasn't she?

Last time I saw you I was chasing after a beauty named Carissa. She's an artist.

That's right. You seen her lately?

No.

What's Mary doing these days?

She's still editing that women's magazine.

Hey, you never told me. What do you think of Oscar Goldman?

Oscar Goldman.

He seems a nice enough sorta guy.

Efficient, dependable. Always on top of things.

Not the sort of guy that would leave you hanging.

Okay. Got him spotted.

PARNELL: Now stay close to him.

Otherwise that detonator won't work.

We're moving in on him, Vince.

Alright, you got about two minutes before you set off the explosives.

We're ready now.

Guess what, Fred?

What?

There's a car following us.

You weren't so nervous in the old days, Steve.

There's a car following us.

You weren't so nervous in the old--

Al!

I couldn't help it! The rewind--

Doesn't matter now.

Do you ever hear from Eddie or Luke?

Any of the old gang from NASA?

Alright, get ready.

We're ready.

(STEADY BEEP)

Now!

(LOUD POP)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

You know, between your foot cramp and this flat tire, we're never gonna make it.

Roy, you better finish Austin.

Robot took care of Austin.

I don't know that for sure.

ROY: I've gotta get the robot back to the testing facility.

PARNELL:Alright, Roy, you take off.

Cliff, get back there and take care of Austin.

I'll pick you up.

(GUNSHOT)

(GUNSHOT)

PARNELL: I got him! I got him! I think I got him!

Never mind him, you better get going.

DOLENZ: They start testing in 15 minutes.

Roger.

(CLICKS, WHIRRS)

(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)

(STEADY TONE)

I'll take over from here.

I understand your position, General...

when I have reason to believe that the man in the security building...

is not Fredrick Sloane.

If he's not, then he's the most incredible duplicate of a man ever made.

Otherwise, how could he have passed our security?

I don't know, General, but--

I'm sorry, Mr. Goldman...

but your responsibility ended when Major Sloane walked through our gates.

As long as he has the activator, I've gotta conduct the tests...

as scheduled.

Oscar. General Tanhill.

Where's Steve Austin?

After he brought me here, he gave me the activator and left.

Are you ready for the tests, sir?

All set.

General, I--

I'm sorry, Mr. Goldman, I can't oblige you.

(BEEPING)

If that tank ends up in one piece, you're a hero, Major Sloane.

All set, Captain.

Fire when ready.

(GEARS GRINDING)

(WHIRRING)

(LOUD WHISTLE)

(LOUD WHISTLE)

Congratulations, Major.

Have him grab it immediately as this missile is fired.

I will, Mr. Wilson.

Stop him! He's got the activator! Guard! Stop him!

(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)

PARNELL: It’s Austin! Stop him!

(SIRENS)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(ELECTRIC MOANS)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(MOANS)

(BIONIC SOUND EFFECT)

(LOUD CRACK)

(ELECTRIC BEEP)

(BOOM, FIZZLES)

(MOANS)

We got Master Sergeant Parnell...

and Gavern Wilson, the man who financed the project.

And Dolenz, the one who built the robot, is--

Well, he's temporarily eluding us.

What about Fred Sloane?

Still missing.

And presumably dead.

FRED: My name is Sloane, Fredrick W. Major, U.S. Air Force.

Let me buy you a drink.

(SWITCHES OFF RECORDING)

I need to take a walk.

Yeah.

(BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT)

Fred?

Thank God you're alright.

Steve Austin.

Sure glad to see you, pal. You alright?

Yeah, I'm alright. I--

I just seem to have lost track of time.

Woke up in some strange place with a headache, and, uh...

I've been wandering around for I don't know how long.

All I can remember is I got a date to play a game of tennis with somebody.

You did.

It was with me.

That's good. I'd sure hate to cancel out a tennis game with you.

Let's go, Fred.

(END THEME MUSIC)