Original subtitles

[Man] Just watch my hand. Watch it. Watch my hand now.

Nice and slow. Back and forth.

Watch the hand!

Come on! Do something! Wake up!

Let's go! Let's see that peeper.

Be very careful here.

I don't wanna give it a lobotomy.

Jesus! That's it! That's it! That's right!

Follow my hand! Look at the hand! Just follow the hand. Come on.

Gotta follow my hand. We're in sync now. Now we're cookin'!

That's it! That's it! That's right!

[Woman] Jeffrey?

- My fingers, look. - Jeffrey?

- Jeffrey? - [Gasps]

Be a doll, and pass me the ketchup.

Sorry.

Thanks, hon.

[Indistinct chatter outside]

[Dog barks]

Ma!

- Oh! Let me help you with that. - Oh, no, no, no.

Get those hamburgers up here!

Will you hold your horses, Henry? Let me get started here.

By the way, he's at it again in the kitchen.

Oh, dear. I'll check on him in a minute, Ma.

Would you? I'd appreciate that, cause we can't get too weird tonight.

Ok.

By the way, for your own good, ease up on the pretzels.

[Henry] Shake a leg, will you? [Ma] Burgers are coming!

- Trouble? - Nah. Same old thing.

Jeffrey's too strange, and I'm too fat.

What happened to your diet?

Oh, heck, I've tried it all and nothing works.

I've tried liquid diets, seafood diets, vegetable diets, fruit diets,

...pills, powders, Weight Watchers and clinics.

I even had Jeffrey staple my stomach, and nothing helps.

Jeffrey stapled your stomach?

Yeah, but it didn't help much. I'm still a compulsive eater.

- I didn't know Jeffrey was a doctor. - Well, yes and no.

I thought he worked for New Jersey Electric.

Oh, he does. He's just sort of a doctor in his spare time.

Calls himself a bio-electro technician. Whatever that means.

Well, is he at least going to medical school?

[Chuckles] Goodness, no!

He's been kicked out of three already!

And you let him operate on you?

Well, of course. I mean, we're going to be married.

[Chuckles nervously]

Jesus! Jesus Christ!

Hi!

What you doing? Ooh, what's this?

Uh - I'm not sure. I can fix it, though.

Hm, well, not now. Come on outside with me.

Dad's cooking tons of hamburgers!

It's so nice out there -

Good idea! I need this table to make my coleslaw.

[Popping]

[Party whistles]

[Cheering]

- Oh, thanks, sweetheart! - Happy birthday, Daddy!

- Oh, you didn't have to... - I got a surprise for you!

Now, close your eyes, and don't open them until I tell you.

- They're closed nice and tight. - Ok.

I knew she went and bought me something.

Ok. Now turn around real slowly.

Ok, ok. Stop, stop!

Now, open them!

Ta-da!

Yeah!

[Whistle]

And look! Jeffrey rigged it with this remote control,

...so you don't even have to push it.

Thanks, son.

Come on. This is your day. I don't want any credit.

- He's always been creative. - [Shouts] What?

And it's so easy! You just turn it on like this!

Don't stand in front of it.

And this controls the speed and the direction,

...so when you want it to go, just press this.

You're in the way! Don't stand in front of it!

[Screams]

[Thunder claps]

[Jeffrey] This transistor right over here.

It should give me enough power...

...to at least inflate them by at least three inches.

Then I'll have the relay switch over here.

That ought to give me at least 14 amps.

Now, let me see here.

If I just keep the switch... Nobody can tell me what to do.

How many volts will I need?

The relay line to this leg here is gonna be...

So, let me see, 120 volts.

Then I'll be able to double the marrow.

No, wait a minute. I don't wanna get rid of that chicken-neck.

[Mutters]

I just don't wanna set the arm on fire.

And this was the problem area.

I'm not gonna get shocked if I do this. Two. I'll try it.

If I inject some steroid into this leg...

I could hook this up to Mommy's iron.

No, wait a minute.

Yeah.

The extension cord. I need the three-pronged here.

Now, this is where the mole was. I gotta get rid of this.

Right. That's all right.

There's too much here. It's too much.

This was the problem. The mole. I wanna get that mole.

There might be a little concave hole here.

That's right.

So, if I take a left down this...

Ok. Where the hell's my calculator?

Oh, that's right! Get these varicose veins out of here.

So, that's sweet.

All right. A rough estimate will do fine.

I wanna get rid of that skin growth. Ok.

And this ought to fit in nicely right here.

This way I can turn her off. Get rid of the pigmentation there.

I gotta make some connection here.

Now this is... If I can just use a relay switch here,

....looks like I could get away with 1,600 volts.

No one's gonna tell me that's not enough!

All I need is a little connector right here.

I'm gonna need some copper, that's for sure.

I need all the copper I can get.

All I gotta do is get down to the 25A.

I can get anything I need late at night.

Now, E=MC2 at this point here.

So, what I've gotta do is run a switch...

This way I don't shock myself. And I don't...

[Sighs]

How could I get 1,600 volts?

I could tap into the...

If I tap into the Newark power station,

...I'm gonna cause a burnout!

What began as a birthday barbecue ended in a bizarre tragedy...

...in Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey today.

It was this power mower that brought a quick end...

...to the life of 21-year-old bride-to-be Elizabeth Shelley.

Like wood through a mulcher,

...the girthful fiancée disappeared beneath the blades of the berserk mower...

...that sent her personality raining down upon the horrified birthday revellers,

...in a blaze of blood, bones and body parts.

The vivacious young girl was instantly reduced...

...to a tossed human salad,

...a salad that police are still trying to gather up,

...a salad that was once named Elizabeth.

But death by lawn mower is not the end of the strange twist in this case.

It's hard to be real specific at this point,

...but, yes, apparently, parts of her are missing.

Do you know which parts or how many?

Uh, like I said, it's hard to be real specific at this point.

She's just one big jigsaw puzzle.

- Jigsaw puzzle? - Jigsaw puzzle.

One of the eye witnesses to this terrible tragedy...

...is also the young victim's fiancé.

Oh. Excuse me. You saw the accident happen?

[Clears throat] I don't wanna talk about it.

And you have no idea what happened to the head?

I don't know. I didn't see it.

The last time I saw it, it was spinning through the air.

Why don't you just leave people alone with their grief, huh?

I guess that's it.

Because this is such a quiet town,

...the whispers can be heard all the louder.

Whispers that are less concerned with the tragedy that befell a young woman,

...than with the grisly souvenirs collected by a person or persons unknown.

In Ho-Ho-Kus, this is Judy Grafe for Eight News Alive.

[Switches TV off]

[Door creaks]

May I?

Yeah. Sure, Ma.

[Sighs]

You've been watching it again.

I can't help it, Ma.

This is not healthy for you. It's not good for you.

I can't help that either.

I don't know, Jeffrey.

You know that girl at the supermarket that I told you about?

She asked for you again today.

Why don't you give her a call?

I don't want to.

You don't want to?

You know it's not right for you to spend the rest of your life in here.

Elizabeth's dead! Life goes on!

I mean, you've gotta find yourself another girl.

Well, that's what I'm working on, Ma.

Oh, that's what you're working on?

I don't know, Jeffrey.

Well, you don't find someone by hiding from the rest of the world,

...or keeping yourself cooped up in here,

...or in the garage, or in that stupid power plant.

Why don't you go back to medical school?

Medical schools upset me, Mother.

I really thought that someday you would become a great doctor,

...and I mean a GREAT doctor!

I never thought you'd throw it away for some silly fuse box, or -

Oh, my God.

Oh, look.

Look.

Look! You're working fine now!

Oh, Jeffrey, it's looking so much better.

What is he?

I'm not sure.

Oh, Jeffrey.

I'm worried about you.

Yeah, well, so am I, Ma.

[Sighs]

Something's happening to me that I just don't understand.

I can't think straight anymore.

Like, my reasoning is all twisted and distorted, you know?

I seem to be disassociating myself from reality more and more each day.

I'm antisocial.

And becoming dangerously amoral.

I've lost the ability to distinguish between right from wrong.

Good from bad.

I'm scared, Ma.

I mean, I feel like sometimes I'm plunging headfirst...

...into some kind of black void of sheer utter madness or something.

Do you want a sandwich?

No, thanks.

There's a little egg salad left in the refrigerator.

I mean, really, it's no trouble.

No, really. I'll get my own dinner tonight, thank you.

Ok. But just -

I don't mean to be a pest, but could you promise me one thing?

One thing, huh? Ok, what is it?

That you won't stay up all night.

I promise.

Good night, sweet boy.

[Chuckles]

Good night, Ma.

[Dog barks in the distance]

[Bubbling]

[Bubbling]

How are you feeling?

I'm sorry I'm late.

I was talking with Ma.

You know how she yaps!

Do you feel like having Italian tonight?

You look radiant tonight, Elizabeth.

Those baths are doing you a world of good.

You've got such a healthy glow now. You look luminous.

Magnificent. Wonderful.

Here's to you, to us, to new beginnings.

Cleanse the palate now.

There we go. Nice and slow. That's very good.

That's it! That's it!

Very good. Nice and easy.

Very nice. Very tidy. Very neat.

You like that Beaujolais, don't you?

I've got big news, honey, and it's the reason for this celebration.

There's a storm headed our way, and it should be here in two days,

...and I wanna be ready for it.

If everything goes as planned, and it should,

...it'll be a whole new look for you.

As a matter of fact, it'll be a whole new you.

Let me show you what I mean.

Hm? Isn't she gorgeous?

Huh? Maybe Teddy isn't your style, huh?

Ok. What do you think?

Honey pie, can't you picture yourself in this body,

...kneeling on Ma's couch in the basement?

How about the crawling cat, hey?

How about this model? A visit to the sweet shop.

I can make you into anything you want!

I can make you the centrefold goddess of the century!

I just need the right parts.

But enough excitement.

How about a little dessert?

Something I wrote for you. A poem.

"Warning: contents under pressure,"

"...by - Jeffrey Franken."

"My heart is packed so full of love for you"

"That I dreamed I exploded like aerosol cans sometimes do"

"I blew with such force that my bones became shrapnel"

"And levelled the town except the small chapel"

"My teeth flew like bullets I didn't know what was happening"

"They killed everyone in sight except for the chaplain"

"And then thanks to him we were happily wed"

"Even though at the time I think we were both dead."

The end.

I know it's not the best poem in the world, but...

...I want you to have it.

Shh.

Good night, Elizabeth.

[Clicks tongue] I'll see you tomorrow.

That's 600 volts more,

...otherwise there's gonna be spider veins,

...or I'm gonna get stuck with a chicken leg.

You know, and that's...

I'm going too far now. I'm nit-picking.

I gotta have more wattage, othenwise I'm not gonna be happy.

I can't. I don't wanna.

[Sighs]

I can't, I can't feel guilty now.

I don't wanna feel guilty now. I just...

Look, I just wanna make life. I mean, you know...

I just wanna bring you back, Elizabeth, you know.

I mean, in order for you to - to live,

...somebody's gotta take your place.

I mean, somebody has to die for you to live.

[Sighs]

[Groans]

I'm getting a cluster headache.

[Turns TV on]

As you can see from this lovely map here,

...we have some very exciting weather arriving in about two days.

More thunder and lightning and electricity...

...than you've ever enjoyed before!

Very spooky, and just right for you mad doctors out there!

[Laughs raucously]

[Switches TV off]

That's great.

Two days. Two days.

I gotta find a fresh part in two days.

Ok. I - I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it.

I just gotta relax. Relax.

The key to this whole thing is relaxation.

Relax. Calm down and relax!

I can't relax!

I've gotta get radical here.

[Sighs]

Some people need drugs.

Some people need booze.

I just need a little surgical assistance.

[Drill whirs]

507? No. 21? No.

22! Good night, 22.

[Drill whirs]

OK, I gotta get some stewardesses, stewardesses.

[Sighs]

Take the Van Wyck Expressway out of Kennedy Airport.

I'll walk on to the plane. I got a maintenance uniform on.

"Girls, there's a screw loose in a luggage store."

"Follow me and get off the plane."

I'll get 'em in a van. I'll tie 'em up with the extension cords.

[Turns drill off]

That's - that's no good.

That's not gonna work. That's ridiculous!

Nobody's gonna believe that. I don't care how stupid they are.

Ok. All right. Now, let me try this again now.

We're gonna come up with something here.

The hole is already bored.

[Turns drill on]

That, that's it! Ok! Ok!

[Turns drill off]

Oh, boy, that's - that's so simple.

If I need female body parts,

...then I'll buy female body parts.

There's a place across the river...

...where there are thousands of women anxious to sell their parts.

With no questions asked.

Of course, with the right amount of cash.

I do have my Christmas club account.

Wow! This is very busy here tonight.

This is like a smorgasbord here. What a buffet!

Wow! Those legs are very nice.

Yeah, this... This might be easier than I thought.

Oh, my God! Now, this is...

She's nice. A little lopsided, though.

She's not gonna work out.

[Horns honk]

Very nice! Oh, there's something very interesting!

I think this is it. This could be the block. All right!

Ok. This is it! I've got it now!

Oh, this is the block. I'm -

Ok. Right behind. Nice and easy now. OK.

Hey! You looking for some action? Want a date?

Hey, you! Need some company? Are you lonely? Come on! Come on!

Hey, going out? Want a date? Some action?

Need some company? Are you lonely?

You look - You look great. I'm not used to this scene.

You're a Jersey boy, ain't ya?

Yeah, Jersey. I'm right over the bridge. To the left.

Well, you take a couple of deep breaths and relax.

Tell me what you want.

Um, well, I'm looking for a couple of girls.

Um, that have the right - nice parts. I - I'm looking for good parts.

Honey, in case you ain't noticed,

I not only got all the right parts, I got 'em in all the right places.

[Chuckles] You've got 'em, all right!

You're right. When you're right, you're right.

- You got money? - Money? Yeah, yeah. I - I got some.

I went to the bank.

Whoa! Now you're talkin'!

- I love you, Jersey boy! - Wait a minute! I'm not ready yet!

Let me in!

Will you stop it? I'm not ready. I - I - I need a few more girls.

- How many more? - I don't know.

[Wolf-whistles] Yo, Amber!

Come over here!

What's all the fuss?

Jersey boy here needs a twosome.

No, no, no, no. Jersey boy doesn't want that.

Look... Uh, I wanna throw a party for my brother. He's sick.

I'm gonna need six or seven of the most beautiful girls you got.

Yourselves included.

See, I wanna have sort of like a beauty contest for him.

Oh, and you get the winner, right?

Well, uh... I'll make a new woman of her.

It'll cost ya.

Well, money, money's not a problem. I - I got money.

Well, lover, we can get you all the girls you need.

- Better check it with Zorro first. - Zorro?

- Zorro. - Zorro.

[♪ Pop music ♪]

Let's see if it makes change, honey.

[Jeffrey] I don't want any trouble.

- Hey, Spike. - Hi, honey. What can I do for you?

Where's Zorro?

He went in the back. I ain't seen him since.

Thanks.

Looks like you need to go to the men's room.

No, I don't have to go.

I left my money on the bar.

- Fuck you! - God! Can I use the urinals?

All right. Coming through. Coming through. Come on.

I'm a doctor. I gotta get back in.

[Chatting]

You got to stick 'em on. You got to stick it. Hey?

So, I gotta go underneath here? All right.

[Man] What's that? Yeah.

He tells me that if I come uptown, and I get shit from you,

...he told me he's not gonna tell me nothing any more.

He says, "Don't do business with me."

[Coughing]

Cause I sold my soul!

Sold to the devil himself!

[Barks]

And I've got the power of almighty hell!

Sell it to me! Don't fuck with me!

Wait here a sec.

[Whispers]

[Man] Which of the stuff is worse when he doesn't have any?

It's never enough.

[Honey] Come here, Jersey boy.

How do you do?

Zorro, he'll fix you up. Get you everything you need.

See you later, guys.

Class diet.

Yeah. It seems like there's a lot of folks on it in these parts.

Honey tells me you're holding a party and you need girls.

Yeah, yeah. Tomorrow night.

My girls are the best. The best to look at, the best for fun.

In a few minutes they make me thousands of dollars.

You want the best, you gotta pay.

Well, you know, I'm sure we can agree on a price.

Then let's talk business, my friend.

By the way, how much does one of those little plastic bags cost?

One of these?

Yeah.

[TV] What, are you crazy? What the hell are you talking about?

I am talking about women controlled by drugs and dying from them!

Selling their bodies because they no longer have any other choice!

I am talking about human beings who need protection!

And honestly you believe that legalizing prostitution...

...is gonna somehow magically make all of the problems disappear!

Well, it's a start!

All right, what's next?

Let the government issue them condoms?

Let the taxpayers pay for the hotels!

Don't laugh. Don't laugh! She's right! She's right!

This crack shit's killing 'em!

This super-crack will get the job done a lot quicker.

And without any pain.

Of course, it may get a bit hot.

The name of your organisation is HOOKER, isn't it?

It's called Hold On to Our Knowledge of Equal Rights.

If you'd run that film, you'll get a hint of what it's like...

...on the streets for these women.

Roll it.

Where's the money? Where's the money, bitch?

- Where is it? - I gave it to you!

- Huh? Where is it? - I already gave you the money!

Where is it, huh? Where is it?

Where's the money, huh? Where is the money, huh?

Where's the money? You've got it, bitch!

Jeffrey!

[Screams]

[Gasps]

All right, take it easy now. Take it easy!

Don't flip out! Don't flip out! Just relax!

You do the drill, and you're gonna feel much better.

It's coming very soon. Very soon.

[Drill whirs]

[Groans]

[Sighs]

I mean, it, it's not like I - I'm committing murder.

I'm not killing anybody.

The crack is what's gonna kill 'em.

You can tell it's killing them already.

I'm just speeding up the process, that's all.

I'm not, I'm not shooting anyone. I'm not stabbing anyone.

I'm merely gonna place a lethal form of crack in their presence.

They don't have to take it.

Nobody has a gun to their head.

If they don't wanna do it, they can... just say no.

The super-crack is placed on the pre-heated hotplate.

Tube into cage.

Now we begin.

Now we have a nice cloud.

Nice and deep now. That's right.

Ooh! Look how sexy you are!

I bet you get $1,000 a night.

Can I buy you a drink?

Is the hotel nearby?

Can we get there by walking, hm?

Well, if you weren't a guinea pig, I'd jump in that cage myself.

Yes! Those moves are a $1,000 moves.

Now, take a nice, deep breath!

[Yelps]

Holy - Jesus Christ!

This could get ugly.

Hey, Jersey boy!

All set?

[Sighs]

- All set. - Ok, girls, listen up.

This here's Jersey boy, Dr. Jersey Boy,

...but you can call him Jeffrey.

- Jeffrey, this is Angel. - Hi.

- Crystal. - Hello.

- Amber, you already met. - Nice to see you again.

- Anise. - How do you do?

- Chartreuse. - Pleasure.

Snow, Sugar, and Monkey.

Now, girls, Zorro told you all about Jeffrey.

It's his party, and he wants to play doctor.

Now, if Jeffrey wants anything more than that,

...you gotta let me know,

...because Jeffrey is a good personal friend of Zorro's.

And he's getting a special rate.

- Understood? - [All] Yes, ma'am.

OK, Doc. How do you wanna work this?

Uh...

Well, let's start with the legs, shall we?

Oh, this is...

Oh, this is excellent!

This is a perfect 18 in diameter.

Uh-huh.

[Jeffrey] Now, this is - This is unfortunate.

And so crude.

[Scoffs]

Honey, you ain't seen nothin'. Wait till you see the one on my groin.

Hm...

A-ha!

Awesome!

Utterly awesome!

Nice buoyancy, too.

Ah, gout-free. Fine.

Wanna take my temperature, Doc? I bet you got a big thermometer!

[Laughs raucously]

This selective first gland is almost perfect.

They're yours if you want 'em, Doc.

If I divide by pi...

Ok. Just hold still.

Huh... This reminds me of the St. Louis Arch.

Excellent!

Oh, this is fine! Very good!

Oh, very nice!

These look good. And clean-shaven, too.

Hm, very nice.

Ah, now these are very nice. I like these very much.

I will need some more voltage, but I could get this to work.

You can use her, but she's got a rash!

Hey, hey, hey! Listen to me!

Hey, Zorro! What's up?

Waiting for my bitches. They should be here in a few minutes.

Oh, good!

[Chuckles nervously]

Jeffrey, we only got a few minutes before we hit the streets.

Have you found your perfect woman yet?

Zorro said you're allowed 30 minutes with the gal you picked,

...but you gotta pick, cause the rest of us gotta go.

[Breathes heavily]

I can't.

I can't pick.

Look, I'm sorry. I -

You're all very nice. You've been very nice.

But I can't do it. I - I can't go through with this.

I - I - I'm not even sure that this would work.

Oh, God! Elizabeth!

- What the hell is he talking about? - Who the fuck is Elizabeth?

- Are we getting paid? - Listen, Jersey boy, you got the money!

Money, huh? You're talking about money?

I'm talking about human life!

You want money? Here, here.

There you go. Here. Take the goddamn money!

Don't you see what I'm trying to do? What do you think's been going on?

Play with the money! Play with the dirty money!

Whoa! Holy shit! What's this?

Holy shit! It's jumbs! It's super-jumbs.

Holy shit! Jumbs!

Wait a minute. Put that back. That's supposed to be for the winner!

Look at this, girls. The party ain't over yet!

[Screams]

Give me that! That's dangerous!

Jeffrey, you devil!

[All shouting]

Come here! Give it to me!

Give us that stuff!

- Come on, girls! Get him! - [Jeffrey] Pull me up!

- Pull me up! Please! - No!

Pull me up!

I've even got a pipe!

[Screaming and cheering]

[Cheering]

No!

Don't smoke it! Listen to me! I'm telling you the truth!

[Cheering and laughter]

- We need some music! - [All] Yeah!

[Cheering]

[♪ Pop music ♪]

♪ Never say never... ♪

Oh, no! Not the devil's music!

Turn it off! It's no good! It's a deadly mixture!

Please! It's telling you to do things you shouldn't be doing!

♪ Safe sex is for wimps ♪

♪ Anyone can drive sober... ♪

Oh, please! Don't smoke that! It's not what you think!

♪ Always carry a gun... ♪

I'm telling you don't do it. Put that lighter out!

[Coughs]

[Cheering]

♪ Russian rouletters never grow old... ♪

Please! There are programs you can check in to.

You can get off it. Don't do anything...

♪ Never say never ♪

♪ Play this song backwards ♪

♪ Never say never ♪

♪ Never say never... ♪

Stop that! That's not natural!

Wait a minute! For crying out loud, you're like cats with catnip!

Just stop that! Your body wasn't meant to do that!

Them hoes are fucking with me.

Just gone out too long.

Let me tell you... Don't do it! You're gonna die!

Whoa.

Oh... She's gonna blow.

[Shouts] She's gonna blow!

- Get cover! - Isn't it awfully hot in here?

[Screaming]

Take it easy!

[Screaming]

[Screaming continues]

[Mutters]

[Coughs]

Oh, my God!

[Screams]

Yo, bitches! Open up! Open up!

Open up! Open up! Open up this goddamn door!

Now! Open up!

Open the door!

Open the door! I'm gonna hack the door down!

What the fuck? What the fuck is going on in there?

[Groans]

Holy humanity!

It's crashing! It's burning! I'm sorry!

Jeffrey... You little scumbag!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, Jesus!

[Coughs]

Oh, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Everybody, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen.

It was an accident. Look...

I - I wanna apologise to everybody here. Please.

I'm gonna put everybody back together. I promise you.

First, I gotta put Elizabeth back together, because that's the point of this.

And then I'm gonna take care of everybody. Get to everybody.

Just take it easy. First, we're gonna take a little trip to New Jersey.

It's just right over the bridge.

I got an estrogen-based blood serum there.

It's gonna do wonders for you.

It's gonna make you feel like little girls again.

Just trust me, all right?

Just be quiet and relax. It's gonna be all right.

Oh. We're gonna get another shoe. All right.

Who's this? The Chinese girl?

All right. Ok. I'm gonna get new clothes.

Just relax. This is well done.

All right.

Ooh, that's, that's a close shave.

[Brakes squeak]

[Crackling]

[Thunder rumbles]

Holy Jesus! I gotta work fast!

Not usable.

This is like a man's hand.

Who can this be? This is everything we have.

[Buzzing]

[Whispers] Ok. Too soft.

OK, what's this? These, no. No good. Mutt and Jeff!

[Glass smashes]

All right, these two. Maybe. Wait a minute.

Yeah. Right.

Ok.

Easy. All right.

Where are they? Where are the perfect ones?

Oh... Just stand there!

How the hell did that get in there?

All right. Ah... This is, this is what I'm talking about now.

Here it is! Ok!

We got it. Nice.

Oh, my God! Bunions!

[Grunts]

[Sighs]

Now, just one final detail.

Well, this is it, Elizabeth.

This is the moment we've been waiting for.

Just give me a couple of seconds.

Ok. It's all right. That's good.

Now, just relax.

I'm gonna get to each and every one of you as soon as I can,

...just like I promised.

It's all right.

That's it. Oh, ok!

In there. That's right.

But tonight belongs to Elizabeth.

Oh, God, Elizabeth. I love you so much.

I hope I'm doing the right thing. I mean -

[Sighs]

I know that things will never be the same again as before, but -

I mean, who knows? M - maybe, maybe they'll be better. I don't know.

But I do know I'll have you back with me.

And I'll never let anything ever hurt you again. I promise.

For as long as I live, you'll be safe.

W - w - whoa! Ok! It's all right!

No harm done. Everything's ok!

No blood. Nothing's broken.

[Rattling]

Oh...

[Thunder claps and lightning bolts]

It's time.

[Thunder claps]

[Motor whirs]

[Electric buzzes]

[Crackling]

[Popping]

Good luck!

[Buzzing]

[Popping]

[Thunder claps]

[Grunts]

[Grunts]

Elizabeth?

Elizabeth!

Want a date? Going out? Looking for some action?

Need some company?

No. W - wait. Huh? It's, it's Jeffrey.

- Jeffrey. - Got any money?

Money? No. I don't have any money.

[Grunts]

[♪ Pop music ♪]

[Screaming]

[Woman #1] Oh, my God! Is that a girl?

[Chatting]

[Growls]

[Woman #2] I hope she's not contagious!

[Giggles]

[Continues to giggle]

Elizabeth?

Elizabeth?

Where are you?

Oh, my God!

[Shouts] Elizabeth!

What the...?

[Breathes heavily]

Why does she wanna have a date for? Well, she wants money.

She wants my money.

Oh, my God! No! Oh, no, no! No, no! Wait a minute!

You're not gonna go back there! Elizabeth!

[♪ Pop music continues ♪]

[Engine starts]

[Tires screech]

Want a date? You going out?

Uh, no, thanks. I'm on my way home. But thanks, anyway. I -

[Grunts]

Well, well! Look at the lady in purple. What truck hit you?

- Are you looking for some action? - Hey, get your hands off me, babe!

[Screams]

[Camera shutters click]

Need some company? Lonely? Got any money?

[Shouting]

Jeffrey, we've only got a few minutes left before we hit the street.

Have you found your perfect woman yet?

Oh, yes! God, yes! Yes! Take me, yes!

Wait! Wait for me!

Are you ok? I love how you -

Where are you taking me? Oh, oh, oh! I know this place!

I know this place! I LOVE this place!

I've been here before! Oh, yes! Yes, yes, yes!

Oh, yes, yes! This is my lucky day!

Oh, boy oh boy!

We'd like a room. We'd like a room.

Oh, sweet mother of pearl!

Look, Zorro said you have 30 minutes with the gal you picked,

...but you gotta pick, cos the rest of us gotta go.

Whoa!

[Chuckles] This is great! I love her!

She's so anxious.

Wait! I've got the key! Don't start without me!

[Chuckles] Oh, boy, oh, boy!

[Door creaks]

Better and better!

Whoa!

[Chuckles]

That's great! I love it, I love it! This is terrific!

Do more, do more!

Ok, girls, listen up!

This here is Jersey boy, Dr. Jersey Boy,

...but you can call him Jeffrey.

Do you wanna play doctor? Doctor? I love doctor!

Me, doctor. You, nurse.

[Chuckles]

Oh, this is great, great! You're all full of great...

Paging Dr. Jeffrey, paging Dr. Jeffrey!

Here I am!

[Chuckles]

Right -

Oh, mother...

Oh, yes! Yes!

[Chuckles] Oh...

[She groans]

Oh, Jeffrey, you devil!

Ooh! Oh!

Don't be selfish, lover! Hold 'em still. Give it here!

Oh, oh, Jeffrey!

- Jumbo heaven! - Isn't it sort of hot in here?

[Screams]

Oh, oh, all right!

Oh, oh, oh...

[Screams]

Oh, that was wonderful.

[Horns honk]

Hey! Excuse me! Excuse me! Listen!

I'm looking for a very tall attractive woman.

She's purple. She's got fresh scars on her.

Excuse me. Hi. I'm looking for a tall attractive girl.

She's got a sexy purple outfit on. She's got a scar on her neck.

- She's very sick. - Go away, Doc!

Hey! Excuse me! Please, you gotta help me out here.

I'm looking for my girlfriend. She's very sick.

She's tall. She's got... She's purple.

She's got some, some scars on her. A purple outfit. Have you seen her?

[Swedish accent] Oh, ja! Fyra of them. I even had two for myself!

What are you talking about? What are you? Some kind of a Swede?

You're talking to me in Swedish in Times Square!

Elizabeth!

[Man] Hey! Hey, doll face.

How about those Mets?

Well, actually, I'm not too fond of organised sports.

I'm more of a one-on-one type guy.

I kind of prefer a certain indoor sport.

You know what I mean?

How about if I - stick my tongue down your throat?

[Groans]

Hm...

Fifty bucks just like that!

- Are you looking for some company? - What's happening, sugar?

Listen, girls, I need some help.

- Oh, I'm sure I can help you. - I know I can.

No. I'm looking for a tall purple girl.

She's got a black forearm and fresh stitches.

We got handcuffs, whips, enemas, dildos,

...racks, chain-link, barbed wire, and feathers.

She's, she's also got a tattoo on her arm.

It's a Z in a circle.

That's one of Zorro's girls.

- They're all gone! - They're dead!

- No, they're not! - Fuck off!

They're gonna be back in a couple of weeks!

What do you fucking know about this? Why are you dressed like that for?

I'm doing the right thing.

Did you do the fucking right thing? That's the question! Did you?

I'm going to the hospital. I gotta go to my emergency room.

I'll put you in the emergency room! What are you? A sick son of a bitch?

Party, party! Wanna party?

Jersey boy here wants a twosome!

Lonely? Need some company?

Going out? Want a date?

[Grunts]

Party! Got any money?

[Screams]

No, no, no. They leave. Then they go nowhere.

- They just blew up! - Blew up?

Fucking exploded! One minute they're my bitches.

The next, they're pieces all over!

Well, when a male loses his hoes, he loses everything.

I didn't lose 'em, man! They just blew up!

My God!

It sort of happened, man!

Yeah, Zorro. I'll catch you later.

Lots of luck with you and them exploding bitches.

Holy shit, girls!

It's jumbs! Super-jumbs!

A whole shitload of jumbs!

Ooh! Woo-hoo!

One of these days, I'm gonna get sick and tired of this shit,

...and let one of you pugs win!

[Shouts] Hey, Spike!

What the hell is that?

[Gasps]

Well, hello, baby!

Pretzels good!

Hey, babe, for your own good, go easy on those pretzels.

[Growls]

Now, I know that I never saw you here before,

...because I would most surely remember!

You gonna take my temperature, Doc? I bet you got a big thermometer.

Ooh, baby! I just love a woman who knows what she wants!

Hey, girls, listen up.

This here is Jersey boy, Dr. Jersey Boy,

...but you can call him Jeffrey.

Zorro told you about Jeffrey. It's his party, and he wants to play doctor.

Oh, yeah!

Hey, babe, there's way too many freaks in this joint.

How's about if you and I just skip out to someplace a little more intimate?

Zorro said you're allowed 30 minutes with the gal you picked,

...but you gotta pick, cause the rest of us gotta go.

Whatever, babe! Look, why don't you and I just sit right over here?

Are we getting paid?

Oh, baby, it's not right.

A woman like you...

...young, beautiful, unprotected,

...all alone in a city like this.

And sharks all around.

Vultures that could easily prey upon a woman as unusual as you,

...a woman so distinctively different!

Somebody's gotta take care of you.

Somebody like me who can protect you.

Somebody who understands your needs, your deepest needs.

Honey, in case you ain't noticed, I not only got all the right parts,

...but I got 'em in all the right places.

I noticed! Oh, I noticed! Oh, I noticed!

I noticed, I noticed...

I noticed, I noticed...

Ooh, honey! Look at Miss Thang!

[Mutters]

[Grunts]

Anyone got a stem?

[Groans]

[Screaming]

[Gasps]

[Screams]

"Oh, Babylon, the great!"

"Mother of Harlots and abominations of the Earth!"

"I will shew unto thee the judgement of the great whore."

"The woman arrayed in purple and scarlet."

"Kings of the Earth have committed fornications..."

"...and lived deliciously with her."

"They shall wail and lament when they see the smoke of her burning."

- So you've seen her? - She's in the bar!

God bless!

Who the fuck are you? How come you not brought me a Jersey boy?

This ain't your tattoo, this ain't your arm.

Where did you get this arm? This is one of my bitches' arm.

Who the fuck are you?

[Grunts]

[Screaming]

[Screaming continues]

Let me through! Oh, my God! All right. Let me through.

Just step to the side! Take it easy!

It's just like a soccer game!

Elizabeth! Elizabeth!

Jersey boy.

Jesus Christ, Elizabeth!

I didn't bring you back to have you hang out in a joint like this!

Come on. We're going home. Let's go.

[Coughing]

- I told you! - Ok, come on. I know.

Ok, one step in front of the other. That's right. Ok.

- Yes, I told you! - I know you did.

All right. Don't bump your head. That's right. Nice and easy.

- Yes, I told you! - I know you did! Thank you!

- I told you! - That's a good man!

- Yes, I told you! - Thank you!

[Tires screech]

[Coughing]

Taxi!

Oh, God, Elizabeth. I didn't want things to turn out this way.

I didn't want you to turn out this way.

Elizabeth, please.

Elizabeth, I know you're not a hooker.

You're not a hooker, Elizabeth. You're not!

- You're not! - Of course I'm not!

Why in the world would you ever say anything like that, Jeffrey?

Elizabeth, Elizabeth, is that you?

What are we doing here?

What happened to Mom and Dad and the party? I -

- You, you don't remember? - I -

The lawn mower! Oh, God! What's happened to me?

[Sighs] You were - You were gone.

- A coma? - Worse.

Dead?

I brought you back, Elizabeth. I brought you back to life!

How?

Oh, a bunch of things. I got it all written down.

This is fantastic! This is incredible!

What a miracle! You have to share this with the rest of the world!

No, it's half a miracle. I - I -

My - my blood serum is estrogen-based.

I mean, I can only bring back women.

Oh, but just think of how many people you can save, Jeffrey.

I'm so proud of you. So very, very proud of you.

I - These aren't my arms. This isn't my hand!

These aren't my legs! These isn't my breast!

Look at me! What have you done?

Take it easy, all right? Calm down! I can explain everything!

I had to make a few changes, that's all.

There wasn't enough of you left to fry an egg with!

And I feel so strange.

As if there were so many different women inside of me.

Maybe I had to do a few unorthodox things,

...but, you know, things didn't turn out so bad.

I mean, I love you. I love you.

And you're alive.

And I love you, Elizabeth.

Now more than ever. I love you.

We're gonna spend the rest of our lives together. Me and you.

[Screams]

Oh, God! Why did you do this? Who are you?

No,no,no. The question is who are you?

From what I've been hearing, your ass is mine.

I'm taking possession of it now! You hear me, Honey?

You hear me Crystal? You hear me, Angel?

Chartreuse, Snow, Sugar, Monkey?

I know you're all in there. Every one of you!

Zorro's here to take care of you again.

Zorro knows what you need to get in the right state of mind.

Some of this sweet, sweet rock.

[Bubbling]

[Groaning]

What the fuck?

[Heavy breathing]

[Cackles]

[Screeches]

- Shit! Get the fuck away from me! - No, no, no!

[Cackles]

- Get the fuck away from me! - Come here, come here, come here!

[Screaming]

[Screaming and laughter]

[Continues to scream]

Anybody got a stem?

[Cackles]

Jeffrey, I have an idea.

Jeffrey! Yoo-hoo!

Wake up!

Are you awake?

Elizabeth.

- Jeffrey! - What happened?

Some man named Zorro came by here -

- Zorro? Here? - Yes.

And Jeffrey, you were - you were gone.

Dead?

How did...? What...?

Well, you kept very good notes, and of course I used living parts.

Living parts? What do you mean, "living parts"?

Holy shit! That's not my hand!

What are these boobs? Elizabeth, what did you do to me?

[Tuts] I can explain.

Obviously, since your serum only works on female body parts,

...I couldn't reuse your old body, or even Zorro's.

So, naturally, I had to make some changes.

No! Where's my Johnson?

What did you do to me, Elizabeth?

Granted, what I did may have been a bit unorthodox,

...but, hey, you look great, and you're alive.

And you're back with me, and I love you.

I love you, Jeffrey, and we're together again.

All of us. Together again.

[Groans]

Together again!

[Groans]

[♪ Jazz music ♪]