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"MAKING FILM Presents."
"NOT BROTHERS Production."
"How many sparks burn out in a brilliant blaze?"
"Most merely become dust."
"Life is rather trivial in hindsight."
You're so punctual today, Professor.
I have to tell you first...
I'm grateful that you turn up to see me.
I do know that you're
a real expert in psychology.
You've been teaching for many years with many good students.
I've always respected you.
Just as what you taught me before, I'm taking record.
I'm not your patient.
Sorry, I know.
But, I also know that
I ain't the smartest student in your class.
Not with the best performance.
But today you come to see me with problems, Professor.
No, I don't have any problem.
- That's not the reason for me to be here. - I know.
You don't have any problem. You've got something to share.
Yes.
Sharing.
Anyway, you want to share it with someone.
And you want to share it with me. I am flattered.
Yes.
Why don't we move to the topic we discussed last time?
What did I say?
Your sex life with your wife. No good.
Really? Did I go that far?
Yes. Our relationship, I think...
It's just like something wrong with the diet.
Could you elaborate?
You didn't make it very clear last time.
Well, a few nights ago.
Like normal.
We had sex.
She wasn't very keen.
On the foreplay.
I always like foreplay.
I did it for long.
She wasn't quite into it.
Can you tell when a woman begins to enjoy it?
You've seen it in films.
She'd twist her body, like a snake.
That would be a sign.
I kept fondling her during the foreplay.
Hello, KY.
I don't like your look while listening to me.
You must be fantasizing making love with my wife.
You must be fantasizing it.
Can you imagine that it wasn't me?
Who should it be then?
Just imagine anyone else to replace my role.
The action could be the same.
But it mustn't be me. Do you get it?
Could he look like you?
Better not.
- Just another type of man... - Yes.
What woeโ-?
Let's be more specific about your case.
Sure.
Why did you add a pillow?
We both like that.
She said it wouldn't hurt that much.
You are so considerate.
I care about her.
I always do it slowly with a rhythm.
I did it gently to make her horny.
Did you talk to your wife what you needed?
I only hinted.
Sometimes I don't want to be that blunt.
It's not like ordering an army to march.
You wouldn't say "Stand" or "Rest".
Oh, no.
During the interaction.
You always feel what her body tries to say.
You always understand
your own body language.
For example, what you reach a stage.
When you want her to hold you really tight.
Naturally you'll grasp her legs around your body.
As she keeps scratching your back.
No.
No, she didn't.
Then so what?
I found this photo
on the National Geographic.
I downloaded it.
It's similar to her state.
Dotted...
I don't understand
who invented dotted condoms.
It hurts a woman
but won't please a man more.
What's the purpose?
So these dotted condoms don't sell very well.
But he bought one the other day.
Did you complain this to your professor husband?
I did. With a long face.
But he never got the message. What can I do?
He thought I enjoyed it. He was screwing hard.
Who is that?
Professor said
he didn't like me imagining how he made love to you.
So I imagine another person.
Well, can you imagine me to be another man?
No problem. It's a bit confusing.
- But I'll take a note. - Good.
You may go on.
When it hurts I always scratch his back.
But how strange. The pain turned into some pleasure.
He had told me he liked me catching him with my legs.
So I did it with my legs.
So he likes it. But do you?
No, I don't.
Because my family owns a barbecue shop.
When I raised my legs around him,
it reminded me of giving a hand to my dad in the shop.
Watching my dad roasting a pig.
Later I didn't mind.
If he likes it, I would just do it.
But I suddenly thought that it wouldn't work.
Because when I appeared enjoying it so much
Eric would come.
You mean ejaculation?
Do you know how long I haven't had an orgasm?
My last one was on...
Just wait. My last orgasm was on...
My last orgasm was on Christmas Day.
Not long ago.
But it was the Christmas Day 2005.
It's a long time ago then.
So I always relaxed so that he would prolong it a bit.
Then I closed my eyes and prayed.
Orgasm today, orgasm today.
I couldn't help it.
You thought I didn't know.
Every time when I finished, I always asked her if she had an orgasm.
She stuttered and wouldn't make it clear.
Sometimes you just want to communicate, you know.
So I thought I mustn't come before she did.
No, I couldn't.
What could I do?
I could only divert my attention, you know.
Well, that's normal.
So I was watching TV.
As he made love to me, he was just watching TV.
What do you think of this man?
He never respects me.
He never gives a damn about me and making love.
I always held him, kiss him, so that he wouldn't watch TV.
When I was screwing, she looked coming.
What could I do? I couldn't watch TV.
What could I do?
I saw her ears and I thought of.
Singing a song-
I was singing the song in my mind.
What song should it be?
It didn't matter, any cartoon theme.
"Kick up and just shoot."
"It's a good twist..."
A twist I couldn't do.
When I sang the word "shoot" I nearly took a shot.
What happened then?
I switched to another song straight away.
I never believed in god.
But today I feel His presence.
I wasn't praying just now,
I felt a warm stream coming up in my heart.
Bravo. I had an orgasm today.
I kept telling myself: Relax.
Take it easy, just enjoy it.
I kept waiting for
the orgasm since 2005.
And suddenly, do you know what I heard?
He just sang the song "Dr. Slump" to me.
FuckiL.
Do you know how hard it was to me to have something?
He just sang the song "Dr. Slump" to me.
I had been accumulating that feeling all the time.
And it was destroyed in an instant.
It's just like in the cartoon "Dr. Slump".
The petrol car crashed by the heroine Arale Norimaki.
And I was the petrol car crashed by her.
Did you ever talked to him about this?
Doctor, what can I say?
Just tell whatever you want. What happened next?
I relaxed. I let him mess about
until he came.
I was screwing.
Everything was fine. She had some reaction.
But God knows why, she suddenly became a dead frog.
I am human. I got tired after messing about for long.
My knees hurt, You know the knees take a lot of pressure.
I had a broken tendon.
Soon after I moved there was a problem.
I couldn't come when the moment came.
There was no ejaculation even when I wanted it.
It was like playing soccer.
How did you handle it?
What could I do?
I kept moving fast and dashing. I pretended shivering.
I faked ejaculation.
So what then?
I'm a good person.
What?
I'm a model citizen.
Give me an example?
Gk,
whenever I go to a public toilet like in an office, cafe' or restaurant,
and I see shit stains, I clean them up.
I'll aim and try to wash them off with my piss, and then I flush.
Eww... that's so disgusting.
And it has nothing to do with being a good citizen.
I think you are just bored.
Nah, you tripping gal-
It's got everything to do with being a good citizen.
Imagine how them toilet cleaners feel,
facing them shit stains every single day.
So, I piss and I clean.
Two birds one stone.
Look, I'm not the one who left them shit stains.
I'm just trying to do a dirty job for the greater good for man.
I only clean them up with my piss.
I'll never use my hand to clean it, that's nasty.
I don't do things like that.
Does that make me a bad citizen?
No, not at all. No one is going to blame you.
At least I won't.
You're a woman, I'm a man.
You sit to piss, I stand to piss.
Like "Spiderman" said,
"With great power comes great responsibility."
I just can't believe all that.
I think you're just bored out of your mind and want some kind of entertainment.
Nah, gaL.
If I were bored, why would I go to a god damn dirty toilet?
I'd come to the club and chill with the beautiful woman like you.
That's why I am a model citizen.
To those toilet cleaners,
I'm their guardian angel.
I never had wet dreams since Form 3.
When was the last time?
I honestly can't tell.
Since Wai Ying moved here,
I never had such a chance.
The cabin should be placed there.
Be careful. Thanks.
Where should the doll be put?
Well, put it here.
Where should the doll be put?
Wherever you want.
- I give you a hand. - OK.
- Hey. - Get out.
I'm sorry.
Did you tell mum?
Dad and mum don't know it yet.
I got their log distance call.
I said I'd move to stay with Yuki.
Do you think... it's a bit too soon?
No, not really.
It's just more than a month.
Because it's more than a month,
we need more love and understanding.
You're always busy, and I work irregular hours.
If we don't live together, how often could we meet?
You're right.
Why?
Oh, don't.
Did we say we need more understanding?
Yes, but not this kind.
What's wrong?
I can't take it.
Have you had three relationships before?
None of them were as perverted as you.
We never did this sort of things.
I'll be nice to you.
We're now living together. It's just natural to do it.
But I've never thought about it.
Have you ever thought that
it's an obligation since we live together?
I thought we'd just spend more time together.
And save some money because we'll pay less rent.
Is this the only thing you have on your mind?
No. But it's just a natural need.
Then tell me:
Are you a virgin?
- What? - Nothing.
Shall I give you a hand?
No, I can do it.
Just hold it.
How can we live together but without sex?
Where that's from?
You were there when I met her.
Her tube-top...
Why on earth it?
She never agrees with pre-marital sex.
So?
I just looked at her as she was cleaning up.
She has a big bottom.
It's so hard to hold myself.
My nose was bleeding the other day, I thought it was my sperm.
I thought my sperm had raised up to my nose.
Sir, you can't smoke here.
He's been denied sex at home.
He'd die if he's denied his right to smoke here.
Do you want him dead?
This won't work in the long run.
What can I do?
- Hello? - What's the matter?
- Now listen, should we... - What?
Are you mad? How would that be possible?
That's for peeing.
Go ask any doctor.
It's clean and hygienic.
Who do you think I am?
Just normal.
Hey, it's normal to do it with your mouth.
I told you, I don't like any of that stuff.
What Stuff?
It's not intercourse, so what's the problem?
What's the difference between the two?
How would it be the same?
Doing a blow job is just different from sexual intercourse.
As Clinton said, it's not a proper sexual relationship.
You want to leave it till after we get married.
No. It just doesn't matter.
It doesn't make any sense. There's no difference.
If you lick a lollipop,
does it mean it's fucking you?
You're sick.
Just give it a try.
What's the problem?
Just have a try.
Just a little bit.
Just once.
Just touch it gently with your tongue.
Very gently.
Touch it gently.
Hey, just try.
It's just like that.
It's just like that.
Would it be easier if it's covered with jam?
How long did I beg Wai Ying to do that?
I don't remember.
I only remembered, I kept asking.
She refused again and again until Christmas that year.
4, 3, 2, 1, Merry Christmas!
Sorry, I changed shift,
and couldn't buy you a Christmas present.
What would you like? I'll buy you one later.
No. As long as I have you.
Is that all?
Hey, since it's Christmas eve.
It's a happy evening,
let's celebrate.
I don't know how to do it.
Try it, and you'll learn.
I might bite you.
Don't worry, I'll show you.
Would you let me know when you come?
Make sure you let me know.
Don't worry.
Not when it comes,
Not when it comes, but right before.
Tell me right before you come.
Make sure you'll tell.
You lied.
Did you say you'd tell me before you came?
I did, that's why I pat you on your head.
You didn't. You were pressing my head.
Don't be like that.
Cheer up for a happy Christmas.
You're the only one who enjoyed.
Stop it. Don't cry.
Drink some water, or have a chewing gum.
Did you drink that water?
Have a chewing gum.
Don't swallow it this time.
It was a real breakthrough.
- Do you like this? - Very much.
I've been expecting it for a long time.
I like it so much, thank you.
What about this...
What? You want me to do it again?
It was Christmas-eve, but it's Boxing Day today.
Another celebration.
5... 4... 3... 2... 1... happy new year!
Happy New Year!
- Wish you a prosperous new year. - Wish you good health.
May your dreams come true.
Then I found I was running out of festivals for such celebration.
"World Festivals."
It's the Thai Splashing Day.
It's the 30th May,
do you know what's so special?
What's so special?
It's the Hoover Day in Japan.
Stipulated by The Japan Electrical.
Manufacturers' Association in 1986.
Because it's always humid in May, the carpets get rotten.
The Hoover Day is designed to
remind the Japs to hoover.
Can I get rid of the foam in my mouth?
I was treated by a dentist yesterday.
But it's the Protein Day in China.
The kids in the poor regions.
Grow so pale because of
protein deficiency.
Let's support the Protein Day.
Isn't it a blessing to have
enough protein?
Erh, erh... Don't stop.
Hey, why stop?
A few weeks ago,
Wai Ying did it with her mouth for me so many times.
She was...
choked to death.
I remember it. It's the Ghost Festival today.
Wai Ying will never let me down. She'll celebrate with me.
"4571 AD"
"Produced by The Education Ministry of Tak Nga Star."
"Lesson 1 for Primary One."
"The Origin of our Planet."
The history of our planet can be dated back to.
More than 2500 years.
There was another blue planet.
Called earth, a planet inhabited by our ancestors.
Before our ancestors sent a rocket to space.
They were watching other galaxies
with their telescope.
There was a country called the United States.
Apart from messing up with other countries,
they had discovered a few thousand new planets.
They sold the naming rights
of some of them to other countries.
In 1992,
the NASA sold the naming right
of a hundred planets.
To a Hong Kong magazine.
Yes, there was this magazine called "Easy Finder".
In order to boost its circulation,
To encourage the readers to find job in the recruitment column.
The magazine bought the naming right
of a hundred new planets.
As gifts handed out to those who could find a job from their ads.
It's how our great planet
was named.
There was a 15 year-old called.
Ah Chi in a secondary school.
Who fell in love with Tak Nga, a girl in the same class.
It was Tak Nga's birthday in 1992.
He wanted to send her a birthday present.
But he didn't have enough money to buy one.
After reading the "Easy Finder", Ah Chi got a thought.
So this guy wanted to send her a star.
But he was just a student.
He was too young to find a job.
How could the magazine give out the naming right to him?
So he had another thought.
So he wrote to the magazine's editor.
Telling him that there was a girl called Tak Nga.
She loved watching stars, and was a member of the astronomical club.
But our historians learned that
there was no such club in his school.
She suffered from asthma,
and it was near her final exam.
Her parents stopped her
from looking at stars.
And she was so upset.
So Ah Chi, as a friend...
Pay attention, class.
He deliberately hid the truth as
being her lover.
Because that would sound impartial to the editor.
Of course, Ah Chi has mentioned in the letter
the importance of the exam to secondary school students.
To encourage her to work hard for her exam.
He wanted to name a new star as 'Yak Nga.
He told the editor that he'd like to get a job.
But he was a student,
so it was impossible.
It wasn't a good excuse,
Ah Chi sent the letter out by express
and double registered.
He made it more convincing.
The editor was so touched.
So Ah Chi won his naming right
"for" Yak Nga.
That's how our planet was named.
Some sociologists later thought,
That since our planet was born out of a lie.
Which is an original sin
emphasized in out religion.
Now would all the girls note.
They had different customs on earth,
so mind the length
of your school skirts.
Her name is Ah Wai. We knew each other in Form 4.
I didn't know her very well.
I met her because she wanted to join the singing contest.
She needed a singing partner for the song "Goodbye Puppy Love".
I liked Danny Chan who was the original singer of that song.
So I teamed up with her.
So I was more than happy
to be the co-singer.
Hey, I got it. It's 00331 in the menu.
Then we spent a lot of time together to practice.
And I became Ah Wai's best friend.
Although Ah Wai at that time
was one of my many school friends,
I didn't like her that much
because she seemed to have no idea about anything.
Oh yes, what shall we eat this evening?
Didn't I tell you
I'll see Macy this evening? I have no time to dine with you.
Then what so you think I should eat on my own?
Hello. It's me. Are you in bed?
Ah Wai was the only daughter.
Her mum had died long ago.
Her dad worked
in a store at daytime.
And drove a taxi in the evening.
Most of the time.
So Ah Wai lived alone in her own world.
And she needed someone to talk to most of the time.
Why did he ask me that?
Hello, hello...
Did you watch the Miss Hong Kong pageant show on TV last night?
The Champion is just gorgeous, I think.
She's so beautiful, she'll get a rich husband.
Don't you think so?
Hello, hello...
Hello, hello...
- Hey, I met a boy recently. - Didn't you?
His name is Eagle. He works in a garage near my home.
He was looking at me every time I walked past.
He once asked me...
Hey.
Wanna go out with me?
What?
Tell me...
Wow...
What?
Tell me, should I go out with him?
So long as you fancy him, why not?
I don't know whether I should date him.
He's a school drop-out.
It doesn't matter if you are in love with him.
Education is not that important if he's a nice guy.
The most important thing is
whether he is a good person or not.
If he works hard, it doesn't matter.
He is a garage worker now.
But if he works hard,
He'll become something in future.
But he's got a tattoo.
Don't know if he is a Triad member.
Not all tattooed boys belong to the Triad.
Even so, so What?
Even Triad can be patriotic.
Even Triad can be kind to their parents.
The crucial thing is whether he's nice to you.
I didn't give a damn about Eagle, honestly.
But if Ah Wai went out with him, I was good for me.
Because she would spend less time asking me silly questions.
So that I didn't have to be her advisor anymore.
She must have taken my words seriously,
She judge Eagle only by his job nature
and background.
She felt a bit guilty.
So she took the initiative.
So you come to see me? No school today?
My vehicle has broken down, would you fix it for me?
Sure, where is it?
Did you read the magazine?
Danny Chan is so gorgeous.
He'll sing in the Asian Music Festival in Japan.
With Tanimura Shinji and Hideki Saijo in Tokyo.
Have you ever been to Japan?
Of course not.
Shall we save up for a trip?
It must be expensive.
Some travel agents offer special prices. It's all in the paper.
A package of four days and three nights plus a double room is about $7000.
You pervert. Who told you I'd share a room with you?
But shall we start saving money for a trip.
For Christmas next year?
"Thursday Breakfast and lunch $40."
Ah Wai was going out with Eagle.
So she called me less and less.
I gained weight.
One gains weight easily while in love, they say.
It seems you've gained more weight, with a little tummy.
Is it because you're going out with someone?
It's been 2 months since my last period.
My God. Didn't he use a condom?
Eagle said it was safe. He counted the days.
Didn't you read magazines?
It's always risky while it seems safe.
But he said he didn't want to use it.
All boys just hate to use condoms.
What shall I do now?
Can you lend me some money to get rid of the baby?
How much do you need?
Eagle said
his cousin did it for his girlfriend.
It costs about $5000.
"Total balance $9,405."
I want to help you but I don't have that much.
Have you thought
it's wrong to get rid of the baby?
It's an innocent life.
If my dad knows, he'll kill me.
That's it for me.
However...
I'm on the phone, get the hell out of here.
But it's your baby with Eagle.
The baby belongs to both of you.
It doesn't seem morally right to lose it.
What's the alternative?
What about getting married?
Married?
He works in the garage.
He wages are so little.
Not enough to raise a family.
Can you borrow some money for me?
Don't be silly.
Get married first, and work things out.
Eagle is a garage worker and it's not a career.
But men always change after they get married.
- Is that true? - Sure.
Does it only cost us a wedding banquet to get married?
Yes.
Should the banquet include shark fin to be proper?
Is shark fin a must? Do you think without it will be cheap looking?
Say 'Cheers', Dad.
Say 'Cheers', Dad.
Look at the camera...
This way.
Ready. 1, 2, 3, just a smile.
Good. Keep smiling for another one.
Ready. 1, 2, 3, Smile.
Would the bride hold the bridegroom's arm?
Good. 1, 2, 3, Smile.
Good. Your jacket, Mr. Bridegroom.
Good. Now stand closer.
Good. 1, 2, 3, Smile.
Stand closer, look more intimate.
That's it. 1, 2, 3.
I spent the money I saved
to go to Japan with Ronald.
I lost my virginity on the third night in Tokyo.
Every girl had a vulnerable moment.
I was convinced by Ronald
that it was safe.
So he didn't use a condom.
After two months, I found I was pregnant.
138, What is the pager number?
Call 2626.
Miss, what is your surname?
Cheung.
Miss Cheung, 2626 is no longer in service.
Not in services?
No, no service for 2626.
Thanks.
"Total Balance $420."
Finally, I decided to keep him.
My son Keung weighed 6.4 pounds.
He follows my last name Cheung.
After Ah Wai got pregnant,
Ah Wai dropped out from school
and looked after her baby at home.
And Eagle loved Ah Wai so much.
And he worked hard to make ends meet.
A few years later,
Eagle opened his own garage with some friends in Tai Hang.
In the same year, they had a second child.
Thank you.
Where should I place it?
Leave it here.
Now, good luck.
Thank you.
Time's up, come on.
No time left.
3, 2, 1, ready.
3, 2, 1. Wow.
"Eagle's garage."
Ready, 1, '2, 3.
Kate, have you bought the baby carriage yet?
Eagle's friends gave us a new one last week.
But Eagle has bought one already.
I can give you one.
No, thanks. I've bought it already.
Now the details of the news.
Danny Chan, a well known icon singer, died in Queen Mary Hospital this evening.
He is aged 35.
Danny Chan was found in a coma at home in May last year.
He was sent to the hospital.
And never regained consciousness for seventeen months until his death this morning.
His name is Danny Chan.
Danny Chan was born in Hong Kong.
He was a Hong Kong Yamaha Electone Festival champion in 1977.
Before he began his career.
Then after he joined the record company.
His first ID was "First Love",
with the hit "Crying For You", capturing so many minds.
Danny Chan has become a superstar since then.
With many hits,
such as "Applause", "A Rendez-vous for a Few Minutes",
"Goodbye Puppy Love" and "Wishes of Life" etc.
He has also starred in films.
Such as "On Trail" and "An Autumn's Tale".
Since Danny Chan died,
I haven't seen Ah Wai that often.
Eagle is doing well with his garage.
He started smuggling second-hand cars
to China in 1993.
He opened another garage with his profit.
Eagle bought his first property
in Tai K00 Shing the next year.
Many garages closed down in 1996
because of recession.
But Eagle was lucky enough to have shifted to trading parts.
His business was growing.
I remember that
I saw my son playing basketball that year.
I hit him for the first time.
Ah Wai.
Long time no see.
This is Kate.
Hello? Long time no see.
No bad.
I had a Birthday Party for my son Eric.
I expected you to join us with your son.
I was busy last month.
Yes. This is my husband.
Come here, honey.
What's up?
My husband, Eagle. Do you remember?
How do you do.
This is Kate, my best friend at school,
as I mentioned.
You should thank her.
We got married on her advice.
Thank you.
It's a pleasure.
Hang on, just wait.
Thank you.
Good evening, everybody.
I am Cheng Sze Wai of the 5B class.
I'd like to say thank you.
To a good alumni, a very good friend of mine, Kate.
I have a happy family
and a happy life.
All because of her.
My husband and me, and my two kids.
Thank you so much, Kate.
You are my friend in my life.
Thank you.
I remember we practiced for a singing contest.
I was going to join the school singing competition.
In that year I knew my future husband.
Then I dropped out from school.
And I've been dying to sing that song all these years.
I hope Kate would join me today.
To sing the song for you all.
Come on, Kate.
Come on, Kate.
Kate, do you remember the steps?
Music.
So you wanted to get a beer from the fridge.
Then you saw the calendar and discovered
what date today is.
What date is it?
It's the Ghost Festival.
Your girlfriend is coming to back to spend it with you.
She's a ghost.
Wow.
Any questions?
Do I have to do it real, the blow job?
Sorry, I'll answer the phone.
Hello, who is it?
Hello, Ming, what's up?
There're some new cars arriving.
You want to come and have a look?
What cars?
Japanese, a European,
one from Shanghai, some from Taiwan and Manchuria.
- How big is the Shanghai-made one? - Twenty one.
I'll come over.
So, what was your question?
I just want to know if I have to do it for real?
You'd handle it with care. I don't want to know.
The director is on the way to discuss the looks.
Have you got any questions?
Yes, I'll be free before the concert.
I've got something else to do.
For me, I prefer driving German car.
But whenever Ming has some girls to offer.
The secret code is "new cars on the way".
Although I've never met Ming,
Chi-wai and Siu-chun said he's a reliable man.
Whoever he recommends, quality is always guaranteed.
I chose the Shanghai one,
as it's also my preference.
And it only costs $900. It's cheap.
It's simple.
I only go to the hotel he mentioned,
then Ming will tell me the room number.
I'll go up from the car park
without going through the lobby.
I won't see Ming himself.
Simplicity is the beauty.
- Please wait. - Thank you.
What's your name?
FaY Fay, and you?
- Me? Ah Keung. How old are you? - Twenty three.
May I?
- You want some water? - No, thanks.
Hey Ming, I'm with guest.
Good.
- Take a shower first. - OK.
How long have you been in Hong Kong?
Almost a week.
Have you been any anywhere interesting?
No. I have to work all the time, always in the hotel.
Is it busy?
Not too bad these days.
- Where are you from? - Henan.
- Anywhere interesting in Hong Kong? - The Ocean Park.
I'd like to go, but I got no time.
I haven't been there for long either.
When it's less busy in the evening
I'd go to have beef noodle across the road.
The food is quite nice there.
Finished.
Have you got a flu?
What?
I said, are you sick?
A little bit.
Don't you have a shower?
I have a dinner appointment.
Would you do me a favour?
What is it?
I want to make a long distance call,
I've got a phone card.
But I don't understand Cantonese.
You scared the shit out of me.
I thought you want me to rescue you.
You must be mad. Do you think you're in a film?
No.
Because too many films have bad gags.
No.
Give it to me. Is it that complicated?
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Thanks.
Sorry, I forgot.
Do you want the change?
No.
Thanks.
Bye.
Bye.
Any order?
- A bowl of beef noodle. - Sure.
- A bowl of beef noodle. - Thank you.
Hello, Mr. Wong.
Who are you?
I'm sorry to bother you now.
I don't think I know you. What are you up to?
My company sent me here.
My company has some trading with you, as far as I know.
What's the name of your company?
I've never heard of it.
How forgetful are you!
My company is a close trading partner of yours.
This is the phone number you use to contact us.
Do you have to be so loud?
What are you up to?
I'm specialized in marketing.
I've just joined the new account service department of the company.
What? Does professional killing need marketing?
Our company always believes in a motto.
"The employer is our most valuable assets."
So we've just set up an account service department.
To consolidate
our relations with customers.
You're one of our clients.
We'll upgrade you to our.
VIP clients file.
If you any further killing mission,
To assassinate anybody, just ring us.
As a bonus, we'll offer you an Anti-killing Scheme.
If any other client
wants us to kill you,
we'll let you know.
Only if you are willing to pay double.
So we won't implement his order,
and we'll kill him too.
For someone as respectable as you.
We offer you a new bonus scheme.
For every dozen
killing orders within two years,
You'll be entitled for a free service, killing one for free.
According to our record, you're eligible.
So I present you with this bonus voucher.
So that means I can kill some one free with this?
Sure, but do pay attention...
What?
To the details on the back.
We've a training scheme at the same time
for new professional killers.
So your bonus scheme
is linked up with our JHTP.
What does it mean?
It's short Junior Hitman Training Programme.
We'll use our junior trainees
to do the job.
That's strange.
Not at all.
Just like you go to a barber shop,
they are a junior hair stylist.
Only if you don't mind
letting him try it on your hair.
They won't charge you, will they?
So when you have a free haircut.
The trainee gains his hands-on experience.
It benefits both.
But our bonus scheme has an expiry date.
So think seriously.
Use up the quota, any target?
Straighten you arm, like a pendulum,
keep it straight.
Keep watching.
Hey, ball no.8.
Hey.
Hello, I'm on the spot.
I haven't seen the target. He hasn't come.
It's Ok. I should call his name.
Once he answers, I pull out the gun.
Of course my gun is loaded, I'm not that stupid.
I confirm with you again.
Call his name. He turns round.
Pull out the gun, shoot, two at the chest and one at his head.
Then I'll leave by the back door.
It's been said many times in the class.
I've got the photo.
If it's the wrong one, can you describe him to me now?
What?
It's so noisy here, I can't hear.
What?
All right.
HEY
Hi? What's up?
- I'll eat later. - Good.
Chan Wai Yeung.
- Where are those from? - Holland.
It looks interesting from this angle.
- Oh yes. - Very interesting, is it?
Do you think anyone
has rolled two balls on the same lane at the same time?
Oh yes. Oh manager.
You go to lane no.14.
Is there a customer? I know.
Chase them away.
Get two bowling balls.
Doesn't matter how much they weigh.
Two balls at the same time.
Yes.
Throw the two balls to the same lane, at the same time.
Yes, two balls on the same lane
at the same time.
You've got two hands, haven't you? Make full use of them.
Ready... 1, 2, and 3.
Is it Ok to crash the bar?
No, the boss will be mad.
Yes I know.
He's in front of me.
What?
I do remember.
Call his name. He answers. I shoot.
Two shots on the chest and one on the head.
You're a nuisance.
I've loaded the gun.
You've asked me before, you idiot.
No problem. I'll do it now.
Chan Wai Yeung.
Don't kill me.
No.
Because I'm a professional killer.
Under the company's order, I'll do it.
Are we getting on well?
It's bull shit. Even if you are my best friend.
Even if you're my relative or my dad, I'll just kill you.
I'm a professional killer.
What else have you got to say?
I wouldn't get that much if I'd known.
Sorry, I can't help you.
Hello, yes.
Do you miss me?
It's time off work.
I'll come to see you, shall I?
Have you been naughty?
All right.
You want to eat something? I'll come over to pick you up.
I was working, I couldn't answer your call.
"A PANG HO-CHEUNG Film."
"TRIVIAL MATTERS"
"Producer, Screenplay & Directed by PANG HO-CHEUNG."
"Based on the short story collection by PANG HO-CHEUNG."
"Producer CHAPMAN TO."
"Executive Producer SUBI LIANG."
"VIS MAJOR JAN LAMB CHAN FAI HUNG KRISTAL TIN"
"CIVISM EDISON CHEN STEPHANIE CHENG"
"IT'S A FESTIVAL TODAY EASON CHAN ISABEL CHAN CHAPMAN TO"
"TAK NGA KENNY KWAN ANGELA BABY PATRICK TAM"
"AH WAI THE 'BIG HEAD' STEPHY TANG GILLIAN CHUNG JUNO MAK"
"RECHARGE CHAPMAN TO EASON CHAN ZHANG ZHENG"
"JUNIOR FENG XIAOGANG PETER KAM SHAWN YUE CONROY CHAN"
"Line Producer JIMMY WAN Associate Producer KENNY CHAN."
"Music Supervision by PETER KAM Editor WENDERS Ll."
"Visual Effects CEDRICK CHAN BART WONG Sound Design KINSON TSANG."
"Production Designed by MAN LIM CHUNG Gaffer CHAN WAI MING."
"Director of Photography CHARLIE LAM"
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