All language subtitles for Beyond Paradise - Season 4 Episode 0 Christmas Special 2025

Sub extracted from file & improved
by RIP1964 for addic7ed.com

♪ Joyful and triumphant ♪

♪ O come ye ♪

♪ O come ye to Bethlehem ♪

♪ Come and behold Him ♪

♪ Born the king of angels ♪

♪ O come, let us adore Him ♪

♪ O come, let us adore Him ♪

♪ O come, let us adore Him ♪

♪ Christ, the Lord. ♪

CRACKER SNAPS
CHEERING

HUMPHREY: Ooh, right.

Here we go.

"What do you call an old snowman?"

MARGO: Oh...

For-sty!
ZOE: What?

ESTHER: What?

"Forty" with an S.

For-sty.

A 40-year-old snowman.

Ah...

Actually, that's quite bright.

OK, that's just... weird.
Only Kelby would even think of that.

ESTHER: So, what's the answer anyway?

HUMPHREY: Water!

ALL: Ohhh...!

- I don't get it.
- ZOE: It's melted.

- Here he is!
- Oh, yeah!

My favourite nephew.

Yeah, can you lot be quiet, please?
Or I will have to call the police.

Call away. We're all in here.
I'm a plus-one.

- Actually, plus-two.
- Yeah.

Haven't you got any Christmas music?

Oh, I'll ask, but Mr Finch isn't a fan.

He says it lowers the tone.

Oh... Finch the Grinch!

SIGHS

But I can get more drinks,
though Auntie M?

Go on, then.

HUMPHREY: Same again all round,
I think, Robert.

Did he tell you what he's been doing?

He's been saving all his tips for
the children's ward Christmas party.

ALL: Awww!

Tell them how much you've got, Bobby.

No, I don't want to...

He said it's nearly £2,000.

Amazing! Well done, you!

Oh, I, um... better get those drinks.

Hmm.
OK.

He's so lovely.

Yeah.

He is.

I'm paying you to work,
not have a family reunion.

Sorry, yeah, I was just
taking their drinks order.

Um, they wanted to know if they
could have any Christmas music.

What do they want,
Shakin' Stevens? Wham? Wizzard?

I asked you to bring the ice
out over ten minutes ago.

Sorry, sorry. Yeah, I'll do it now.

No, don't bother. I'll get it myself.

Right, I'm just off
for a Christmas tinkle.

Ugh, TMI!

Make sure you wash your hands!

Sorry.

Was everything OK?

Oh! Yes, it was, darling.

- You did me proud.
- Oh, good.

- Oh, I'd better get back to work.
- Oh.

- Coming, Margo?
- Ready, Margo?

ALL:
♪ Good King Wenceslas looked out ♪

♪ On the Feast of Stephen... ♪

HUMPHREY: I don't know the words.

♪ When the snow lay round about... ♪

DRUNKEN SlNGlNG

WOMAN WHOOPS,
COUPLE LAUGHS

CHATTER

DOOR RATTLES
MAN: Come on!

CHATTER

ESTHER: Hello?

Sir?

You OK there, my love?

You waiting for someone?

Oh, you're freezing.

How long have you been here?

Do you need something?

♪ One morning in the month of June ♪

♪ Down by a rolling river ♪

♪ There a weary traveller
chanced to stray ♪

♪ And he beheld his lover ♪

♪ Her cheeks were red,
her eyes were brown ♪

♪ Her hair in ringlets hanging down ♪

♪ She'd a lovely face
without a frown ♪

♪ just as the tide was flowing. ♪

OK, so, can I ask why
you opened the bin?

Fish.

- You were looking for fish?
- No, I got fish.

- I was looking for veg.
- Right.

They throw it out at
the end of the day, see?

There's nothing wrong with most of it.

Got a nice bit of broccoli
for my salmon.

I mean, I had to trim it up a bit,

but the really manky stuff I...

...I cut up and I use it for feed.

- Oh, for the fish?
- For the rabbit.

Right.

Um, what time was this?

Er, quarter to nine.

I know that

because I had to get the veg
back to Janet for five-to.

- The rabbit?
- My wife's sister.

She cuts up the veg for the rabbit.

But she leaves for work at nine.

Banksy.

She works at the bank?

No.

The rabbit's called
Banksy, after that artist fella,

the one who draws on walls.

OK.

He's not dead.

I saw him breathing.

Banksy?

No, the bloke in the bin.

Oh.

SNORlNG

- MAN: Morning.
- MARGO: Oh, that looks nice.

Oh, yes. All for me.

'Course, Margo. Ha-ha!

GROANlNG

This way. Who's your friend?

I found him in a wheelie bin.

His name's Seb, and he had
a bit too much to drink

- last night, didn't you, Seb?
- Mm.

Well, you know you've had a good night

when you wake up in a wheelie bin.
LAUGHS

- You taking him home?
- Er, not yet.

Can't get his head off.

He said his mates glued it on.

Oh, dear!

SEB GRUNTS, GROANS

You'll need some adhesive remover.

I'll take him.

You go and get some.

Come on.
Right, let's step carefully.

- Careful.
- We will be.

OK.
SEB MOANS

I've got you.

Oh, oh! Mind that.

- Laters!
- Yeah?

SEB GROANS

lNDISTlNCT CONVERSATION

Oooh!

There's an exhibition on
at the town hall tonight:

Christmas Through The Decades.

We're going Christmas shopping,
remember?

They've built replica rooms
from every decade,

from the '00s, back through the '90s,

the '80s, '70s, the '60s...

- You need to finish by five.
- OK, I'll try.

You promised.

Right.

Say it out loud.

HE LAUGHS

I will finish at five.

Good.

Let's hope Shipton Abbott's
criminal fraternity

don't get to hear about this.

We could have a six o'clock frenzy.

Oh, hello!

I'm not sure which
question to ask first.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

- Morning, Margo.
- Morning.

I, er... see you've brought
your friend in.

He's not my friend.

Kelby found him in a wheelie bin.

Excellent.

Oh!

This is the exhibition at the town hall.

Christmas Through The Decades.

I can get you tickets for that.

My stepmum's one of the organizers.

I get a family discount.

Ha!

- Margo?
- Oh, I'm busy tonight.

ELECTRICITY BUZZES

Something wrong with this...

ELECTRICITY ZAPS

SHE SIGHS Ah, sorry.

Something...

...wrong with it, I think. Mm.
HE CLEARS THROAT

Ooh!

- Margo?
- Mmm?

Why exactly is the snowman here?

His head's glued on,
and he's refusing to go home

because his new girlfriend's
mum and dad are there.

They've come down
for Christmas to meet him.

Oh, worried about giving them
the wrong impression?

Hard not to when you're dressed
in a snowman suit,

- smelling of wheelie bin.
- Fair enough.

ELECTRICITY BUZZES
Oh!

SHE CHUCKLES
Ah!

As soon as you can, please.

SHE SLAMS RECEIVER

Problem?

There was a chap sitting
on the doorstep when I opened up.

His name's David,
but he seems a bit confused.

So I've put him in the
interview room with a cup of tea.

- That's a very nice thing to do.
- Well, I've been trying

to get social services to come
and collect him,

but they haven't got anyone free.

I mean, I've made it as comfortable
for him as I can in there.

The odd thing was, this was the
only thing he had with him.

Hm! Weird.

David, is it?

David...

...we're just a little bit confused

about why you have a photograph
of me in your pocket.

Did I?

You don't recall why?

Take your time.

Have we ever met?

I need to find my sister.

Your sister?
Is that why you're here?

Louise.

That's her name?

Can you help me?

We can try.

Do you and your sister live together?

Yes.

Only, it's Christmas, you see.

I really need to find her.

Where do you
and your sister live, David?

Is there an address you can give us?

TEARFULLY: I'm sorry,
I'm not very much help, am I?

Do you live in Shipton Abbott?

HE SOBS

I really need to find her.

It's all right, OK?

Don't upset yourself.
We'll work it out.

It would help if we had a full name...
David.

I'll write it down, shall I?

Can you, um...?

Can you spell it for me?

David, H...?

A-L-E-T-O-N.

Haleton?

Thank you.

There was nothing else
in his pockets at all?

SHE SIGHS
A bit of loose change.

No wallet, no credit cards,
no phone, nothing.

Why would a complete stranger,

someone I’ve never met before,

be sitting on the station doorstep

with a photograph of me in his pocket?

Do you recognize the photo?
Where it was taken? When?

No.

But it has to be key.

Maybe it's on social media somewhere,

something Martha or Anne posted?

- I could look online.
- Yes, do that.

In the meantime, let's start
with a search, a five-mile radius.

We're looking for a brother
and sister living together,

a David and Louise Haleton.

Try care homes
and sheltered housing first.

- Right.
- And check other divisions

- for missing person reports.
- On it.

- Margo?
- I got a call from the hub.

Fisher's wine bar was broken
into last night after we left.

No!

Uniforms attended in the early
hours of the morning,

took photos and secured the building.

They've asked us to follow up.

You're sure you're
doing the right thing?

It was something
he said when Rosie left,

about us being on our own,

and how we'd have to make do.

It's always been the same for us,

all through the IVF, then the fostering.

The worry lurking under the surface

that we needed something
else to be happy.

That we might not be enough
for each other on our own.

And this is the best way
I could think of to show him

that all I ever need is him,

standing next to me, holding my hand.

This is the best Christmas
surprise ever.

It will be if we all do our part.

So, all the boxes are in the kitchen.

You need to get them there by four.

Put the "closed early" sign up
outside before you go. OK.

Mum, you need to be
at the train station by 2.30.

This is who you're picking up.

Oh, he looks nice.

He is.

Bring him back here, and if Humphrey
comes in, you'll have to hide him.

Hide him? Where?

Use your imagination.

There's room in the stock cupboard.

Will he mind being
in the stock cupboard?

Just do what you need to.

Humphrey mustn't see him.

So, does everyone
know what they're doing?

- Mm.
- Yeah.

- Go, Team Martha!
- Oh!

Woo!

So much for Shipton Abbott
being Devon's hidden gem.

It's got its scumbags
like everywhere else.

I blame the parents.

Yeah, put two morons together,
what do you get?

Surprise!

It's another moron.

Er, you were at home
when the alarm company

called to say there had been a break-in?

No, I was at a friend's in Polmarron.

- What time?
- About 1.30.

That's quite late to go visiting.

Well, we were having a party.

I said I'd join them
when the bar closed.

You can see the door's
been jemmied open?

Er, yes.

Can I ask what was taken?

I was due to go to the
bank this morning,

so this week's takings
so far, the float...

I haven't totted it all up,
but I reckon...

...north of £10,000.

That's a lot of cash.

It is Christmas.

People throw in for the bills,
so, you know,

we get more cash than usual.

Can we see inside?

Yeah.

Is there damage anywhere else?

No.

- Office?
- No.

Then where did they take the cash from?

From the drawer under the till.

Is it usual to keep that amount
of money in the bar overnight?

Can be.

Depends on when I can get to the bank.

HE SNlFFS

Water.

But they're wine bottles.

I guess someone spilt water on the bar.

Is that Robert's charity tips jar?

Yeah. Look, is this going to take long?

Are we nearly done?

Only I need to get
this cleaned up so I can open.

Can I ask...

...who else would have known
you had cash here overnight?

No-one.

No, wait. Robert.

Robert knew.

I remember him yesterday, asking me
if I'd been to the bank or not.

I can't believe this was anything
to do with Margo's nephew. No.

But let's check where he was
last night after the bar closed,

and check on this party
in Polmarron, too.

Sir.

DOCUMENTARY PLAYS ON TABLET

DOOR OPENS

There we are, my love.

A nice, fresh cup of tea.

ESTHER: Hey, thanks. Bye.

OK.

So I spoke to Terry Finch's
friend in Polmarron.

He confirmed that Terry arrived there

just after midnight, and he was with him

when he got the call from the
alarm company about the break-in

just after 1.30.

He took a cab back to the wine bar,
because he'd had a drink.

I've confirmed with the cab company

that they picked him up in Polmarron

and took him to the bar.

The uniformed unit
were already at the scene

and confirmed
the break-in happened at 1.30.

So we can rule out Terry Finch?
DOOR OPENS

Looks that way.

I couldn't find adhesive
remover anywhere.

You'd think I'd been asking
for unicorn poo!

Had to go to the industrial estate.

You can't just leave him sitting there.

What else can I do with him?

I don't know,
but this is a police station!

We're in here discussing cases.

Look, I've just got to get his head off,
and then I'll get him home.

Can't you just cut it off?

No, hang on, he hired it.

He can't...

He's got a £100 deposit
against any damage.

QUlETLY:
Well, hurry up!

Oh, Kelby, can you check CCTV

from the high street last night?

Say between 12.00 and 2.00am.

Sir. Er, what am I looking for?

Ah, well, anyone in the
vicinity of Fisher's wine bar

at around 1.30am.

The unit that attended
the break-in sent a report.

- It's in your inbox.
- Thanks, Margo.

And the Grinch has sent me a full report

of what was stolen.

Around £11,000 in cash,

plus the contents
of Robert's charity jar.

There was a big sticker on it, too,
saying it was for charity.

And at Christmas!

SEB: Cor, that's well bad.

Any leads on the photograph?

I ran the search online
but didn't find anything,

so I passed it to IT,
see if they have more luck.

And the sister?

Again, nothing so far.

I'm still waiting on the missing
person reports to come back,

but I've drawn a blank
with electoral register,

care homes, sheltered housing
in a five-mile radius.

Looks like we've hit a dead end.

Maybe we should just pass
it on to social services.

Let's at least keep trying
until they get here.

- And you're not even going to warn him?
- No.

He'll start fretting, and when
he frets, he breaks things.

Right, well, speaking as
someone surrounded by bottles,

no-one wants that.

Just make sure everything is ready.

It will be.

MOBlLE RlNGS
Hi.

Thanks for getting back to me.

ENGAGED TONE

How can one person
be on the phone so much?

Every time I call her, she's engaged.

Maybe she's busy.

I haven't got
anything on Fisher's wine bar.

There's no CCTV in the alley.

A few passers-by at the front,
just after midnight,

then nothing until the
police unit turned up...

SEB: Ow!
...just after 1.30.

SEB: Ooh! Ow!
And then a cab arrived.

Er, that's Terry Finch.

Hold still.
SEB: Careful!

We still need to speak to Robert,
check his movements.

Mm-hm.
Why?

You don't think he had anything
to do with this?

'Course not.

It's just part of the investigation,
Margo. Ticking all the boxes.

Do you know where we can find him?

- Margo?
- SEB: Ah! It's burning! Oh!

- Stop it. Calm down.
- SEB: Careful!

Yeah, well, I've got three jobs.
CHUCKLES

I do mornings here, home
deliveries in the afternoon,

and Fisher's, four nights a week.

Can you tell us where you were
last night, after you left the bar,

- up to about 1.30am?
- Er, yeah, no, I was at home.

Can anyone vouch for that?

Er, well...

No.

Laura is staying at
her mum's with the girls.

- Laura's your wife?
- Yeah, yeah.

Hey, um, is it true that they took

that charity money
from behind the bar, too?

Yes, they did.

Who would do something like that?

Er, yesterday...

...do you recall asking Terry Finch
if he'd been to the bank?

Er, no, no.

Oh, no, wait, yes.

Yeah. Yes, I think I did.

- Can I ask why?
- Oh, no, no reason.

I just have to cover
the bar if he goes...

...to the...
Sorry, am I in trouble?

No.

No, not at all.

Just routine questions.

Oh.

Can you just run us
through your shift yesterday,

starting with after we left?

Yeah, well, I mean,
I was rushed off my feet.

Mr Finch, see, he won't
hire any more staff.

He says cutting costs makes us
look good to head office.

Hmm.

You didn't notice anything
out of the ordinary?

No. No, no, no.
We had three parties in.

Um, we called last orders
not long after you guys left,

and, you know,
everyone just drifted off.

What time was that?

I think we were empty by about 11.30.

Yeah.

I wiped down the tables and the bar.

I put the, er...
Thank you!

I put the empties in the bottle crate

to be collected the next morning,

emptied the bins behind the bar.

Normally, I'd run the bin-bags
out the back,

but Mr Finch told me to go home,

so, yeah, I think I left by about 11.45.

And after you left,
did you see anyone outside?

No.

It was pretty quiet.

Oh, no, hold on.

HE CHUCKLES

There was
this lunatic in a snowman suit.

Yeah.

Oh, God...
GROANS

Are you sure
we can't take this head off yet?

Apparently not.

Glue needs to soften
for another 20 minutes.

And we can't cut it off,
cos he'll lose his deposit.

HUMPHREY LAUGHS lN FRUSTRATION
I mean...

- Fine. So, you were at a party?
- Yeah.

I was at a mate's flat,
his girlfriend's birthday.

- Fancy dress.
- Whoa! How do you know that?

I'm a detective.

And on your way home,
you walked through the alley

behind the shops on the high street?

Er, short cut.
Right.

Did you see anyone?

Particularly, anyone at the
back of Fisher's wine bar?

I think I saw
a bloke taking the bins out.

Around what time?

Oh, maybe just before midnight.

Oh, and then there was
this bunch of kids.

- Kids?
- Yeah, about ten of them, on bikes.

All started taking the mick, obviously.

- How old?
- Don't know.

15, 16?

Anyways, they all start
pushing me around,

and then one of them goes,

"Oh, chuck him in the wheelie bin!"

And so they did.

Couldn't you get out?

Oh, I was smashed by then.

Plus, It's surprisingly
comfortable in there.

Don't remember nothing after that.

Right. Sergeant?

What are you thinking?

This fresh splinter of wood
we found at the scene.

- From the back door.
- Yeah.

But it was only visible once
the binmen had taken the bags

away in the morning.
Do you remember?

They cleared them while we were there.

- So?
- So...

So, surely, that must mean
the splinter was under the bags.

But how can that be, when our snowman

saw Finch put the bags there
before he left for the evening?

It doesn't make any sense.

We know the break-in was at
1.30 because that's when

- the alarm went off.
- Exactly.

Ah!

The eagle has landed.

Hiya.

We, er...

We thought you might be hungry.

It's ham and cheese.

It's ham and cheese?

If you don't like it, we could
swap it for something else.

No rush. Just let me know.

Have you found Louise?

No, David, not yet.

But we're looking, OK?

SOBBlNG:
I miss her so much!

Oh, mate...

Hey.

We know you do.

Don't get upset, all right?

Our Inspector, he's looking
for her, and he's amazing.

Got it. That was IT.
They found a match for the image.

Ah.
SEB GRUNTS THROUGHOUT

It's from the
Tavistock Chronicle newspaper -

coverage of the amateur
dramatics train murder.

They snapped you at
the station, remember?

MARGO: Hold still!
No idea.

Well, it's definitely the same image.

OK, good.

So let's focus our search
on the Tavistock area

and see what that throws up.

- Will do.
- MARGO: All right.

- Hold steady.
- Yep, careful!

You've got skin now.
HE GROANS

MARGO GASPS

ALL SIGH

Everyone, meet Seb Branagh!

Hello, Seb!
Thank heavens for that.

Oh, thank you, guys.

Thought I'd never get out.

David got a bit upset.

Started talking about his sister again,

but he's calmed down a bit.

Poor love.

Oh, hello, mate. You all right?

Kelby will show you
where the bathroom is.

You can get the rest of it off.
Brilliant. Cheers. Come on, mate.

Oh, sorry.
Yep.

OK, you all right?
HUMPHREY CLEARS HIS THROAT

I've sent an information request
to Tavistock Police

- and the town council.
- Mm-hm.

So, what are you thinking?

The kids on the bikes?

HE SIGHS
No.

There were three or
four bottles of Pinot Grigio

smashed on the floor
and no other damage,

and there was no empty beer cans,

no witty remarks, or pictures
of genitalia etched on the walls.

The office was untouched.

No, this wasn't teenagers.

I think this was someone who
knew the cash was there

and where it was.

Robert?

So, you do think Bobby was involved?

No.

Yes, you do.

I can see it on your faces.

We're still trying to work out
exactly what happened, Margo.

But Bobby is a suspect?

No. Well, yes, but...

...only until we eliminate him.

I'm sorry, Margo, we don't like it

any more than you do,
but we have to do our job.

He's the only other person who knew
that cash was there overnight.

And he's working three jobs,
so we know money's tight for him.

And I've known him his entire life.

There's no way
he could do anything like this!

We're sure that's true,
but we have to... There's no buts!

That boy goes to the children's
ward every Christmas morning

to take them presents.

Do you really think he'd steal
his own charity money?

And, yes, He's got three jobs,

but that's because he's
a hard-working lad

trying to provide for his
own family, not a thief!

Margo!

Good luck with that.

Yeah. The boxes are in the car.

Mum back?

Yeah, she's just in the kitchen
making him a sandwich.

You're not having second thoughts,
are you?

What if he hates it?

He won't. He'll love it.

- You think?
- I know.

I'd better go and check on our guest.

Sir? Tavistock Police.

No missing person reports
in the past week.

OK, but I still think
we're in the right area,

so try GP surgeries next,
social services,

see if any of them have a patient
called David or Louise Haleton.

Sir.

I'm...

...sorry I shouted.

I was a bit cross.

That's perfectly understandable.

But I stand by what I said.

My Bobby isn't a thief.

So, Kelby, did you get
your snowman home?

Seb? Yeah.

I got to meet his new
girlfriend's parents.

Yeah, they didn't suspect a thing.

Well, he did have
a rash across his neck,

but he said it was only
because he was nervous to meet them.

Smooth.

Heat rash, probably,
from being in that suit.

He must have been melting in there.

Oh, hey, it's like that joke
from last night.

What do you call an old snowman?

Water!

ALL LAUGH

lce!

That's it!

Melting ice!

Explain.

An empty crisp packet?

What? Oh, no, sorry.

If this splinter of wood was found
underneath the bags of rubbish

at the back of Fisher's wine bar,
then the door

must have been forced open
before they were put out

by Terry Finch shortly before midnight.

Except that's not possible,

because we know the break-in
was an hour and a half later.

What if it wasn't?

What if...

...everything was just...

...set up to look like a break-in?

By who?

Terry Finch. Yes!

Sorry.

But if Finch set all this up himself,

how could the alarm go off
at 1.30 in the morning

when we know he was ten miles
away in Polmarron?

Because, in the words
of a song from my youth,

"lce, ice, baby!"

Ice!

Remember the pool of water on the bar.

- What about it?
- I thought it was odd at the time.

It was wine bottles that were broken,
so how could it be water?

Robert told us he wiped down
the bar before he left, and...

...he also said he emptied
the bin behind the bar.

Yet, it had a plastic bag in it.

OK, now you're losing me.

I saw a similar bag
at the Christmas party.

Sorry.

But you'd expect to see a bag used
for ice behind a bar, wouldn't you?

Yes, but...

...if Robert emptied the bin, as he said,

and I have no reason to doubt him,
why was it there in the morning?

Thank you. Goodnight.

HUMPHREY:
This is what I think happened...

I had to carry you tonight.

Right, sorry.
Pull your finger out,

or else I'm going to have
to get someone else.

Don't say that.

Mr Finch, no, no, no,
you know I need this job.

Well, maybe you should be
thinking more about your kids

and less about fawning
all over the punters.

It's just, it's Christmas.

I just wanted everyone
to have a good time.

I told you, Christmas is for mugs.

All I'm interested in
is how much they spend, right?

So less chitty-chatting and
more serving. You got it?

Yeah, got it.

I think Robert did exactly as he said.

After he cleaned the bar,
he emptied the bin.

Leave them, I'll take them out.

No, no, it's fine, I'll take them.

Leave them. I'll take them out.

I'll do it myself, like everything else.

Go on, go home.
I'm sick of looking at you.

' Night, Mr Finch.

Once Robert had left,

Finch went straight out
to the back door.

Which is how the splinter of
wood got in the alley

before the bags of rubbish?

It's the only thing that fits.

SEB:
♪ Jingle bells, my suit smells ♪

♪ I feel really sick... ♪

Cheer up, mate, it's Christmas!

Hey-hey-hey-hey!

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride... ♪

Hey, look at this guy!
All right, kids? All right, guys?

Let's chuck him in the bin!

There was no damage anywhere else,

no sign of anyone searching the office,

so our thief had to know
where the money was.

But this... this was the clever bit.

Ice defrosts at a predetermined pace,

and therefore makes a perfect
time-delay switch.

So, as the ice melts,
the bottles will fall...

- ...setting off the alarm?
- Precisely.

ALARM BLARES

By the time Terry Finch arrived
at the wine bar,

the police were already there

and had found the broken back door

and broken wine bottles on the floor.

Which would look
exactly like a break-in.

I think when Terry got there,

he took the plastic ice bag from the bar

and simply threw it in the bin.

But forgot to wipe away the water
from the melted ice on the bar.

Precisely.

So... it... it wasn't Bobby?

No, it was not.

MARGO CHUCKLES

Mmmmmmmmmmmm...!

Crikey!

Oh... Thank you... mwah!

Thank you, Margo.

Kelby, go pick him up.

MESSAGE ALERT

Oh, Tavistock Social Services.

Oi. They've reported one
of their care home residents,

David Haleton, as missing.

He wasn't in his room when
his carer went in this morning.

No mention of his sister,

but his daughter and son-in-law
are on their way now to pick him up.

Oh, yes!

So he'll be with his family
for Christmas.

Well done, everyone.

Kelby called.

They've got him, and Margo ran a check.

Seems he was sacked from his last job

for running up gambling debt
on the company credit card.

I see. So he was a gambler.

Whose luck just ran out.

Hello. I'm Humphrey.

This is Esther.

He's your dad, is he?

We've been going
out of our minds all day.

Yes, I'm sure. Where did you find him?

Er, he found us.

He was sitting on the doorstep
when I came in this morning.

Are we going to see Louise now?

Oh... Not yet, Dad.

We need to get you home.

Everyone's worried about you.

He's been talking
about his sister all day.

I'm sorry. We'll get him home.

I'm sure you've got more
important things to do.

Not at all. Can I just ask...?

He had a photograph...

...of me in his pocket.

You wouldn't happen to know why?

You're Humphrey Goodman!

Yes. Yes, I am.

Dad, you sit with Keith
for a minute, OK?

I won't be long.

You're all right, Dad, you're all right.

Dad and his sister Louise were adopted.

They lost their parents
when he was seven.

They were supposed
to go to the same family,

but circumstances changed
and they were split up.

CHOlR SlNGlNG ON RADIO:
♪ O come all ye faithful ♪

♪ Joyful and triumphant ♪

♪ O come ye ♪

♪ O come ye to Bethlehem ♪

♪ Come and behold Him ♪

♪ Born the king of angels... ♪

ANNlE: He tried to look for her
over the years,

but just hit one dead end after another.

So he just sort of locked it
away and got on with his life.

Just became that unspoken thing.

And then he started to get ill,

and he was diagnosed as having dementia.

And as his memory
started to deteriorate...

...he started
talking about Louise again.

It was as if of all the things
he had in his life,

she was the thing he was frightened
about forgetting the most.

So we decided to try again.

We hit the same dead ends as before,

but this time we found her.

Dad was so excited.

We traced her to Gloucester,
where she was adopted

by a couple on Christmas Eve of 1968.

They changed her name to theirs,

so she became Louise Briggs.

But then she moved away,
and we lost all track of her.

But then the people who bought
her old house

in Gloucester found
an old bank statement,

dated from around the time
she moved away,

but it showed that
she made a withdrawal

from an ATM in Shipton Abbott.

Sorry, er...
I still don't see why David

would have a photograph of
me in his pocket.

So we were at a loss
as to what to do next,

so we spoke to Dad about
hiring a private detective

in the New Year, someone from Devon
who could help us find her.

And Dad saw your picture in the paper

and thought you looked
like a decent chap,

so he was going to call you
and ask if you could help.

He can't remember
what he had for breakfast...

...but he can tell you what
song was on the radio

the day they took Louise away.

It's like he's... stuck in that moment.

KEITH: It's all right.

And the hurt is just as real
now as it was then.

OK, everyone!

Let's run a check
on the name Louise Briggs.

Town halls, social services, PNC,

any other data banks you can get into.

Local HMRC, passport office, DVLA.

Look into local clubs and organisations.

She must be drawing a pension by now.

- See if that gives us anything.
- Sir.

Er, should we be making these
kinds of checks?

Yes, we should, Sergeant,
for two very good reasons.

Firstly, it's a missing
person's investigation.

Even though they're
not missing any more.

- Technically, yes.
- And the second?

It's Christmas.

Oh, Martha called.

She said she's at the winery
ordering stock.

Can you pick her up from there?
And Don't be late.

What time is it now?

- It's 4.35, you've got 25 minutes.
- OK, quick as you can, everyone!

Haleton.

H-A-L-E-T-O-N.

Though that's her original name.

She went on to become Louise Briggs.

Have we got anything else listed
under the name Louise Briggs?

No, that's all the information we have.

Could we cross-reference her
date of birth against anything else?

All we know for sure is she
left Gloucester

around four years ago, and we
think came to Shipton Abbott,

or at least somewhere in this area.

Bye.

OK, let me see if I can find that.

- I'll come back to you.
- Thank you.

They need a National Insurance number.

You'd better go!
All right. Five more minutes.

OK, well, thanks for trying.

Bye.

Nothing.

Say again?

But her adopted name
was definitely Louise Briggs?

Is there an address on the records?

If you would.

you've got my number?

OK. Thanks, Jess.

There was a Louise Briggs

married in Paignton registry office
four years ago.

She declared her former name as Haleton.

So it's her.

Has to be.
Her married name is Branagh,

but they couldn't see
an address for her.

They're checking, but they
can't guarantee it'll be today.

Branagh. I've heard that somewhere.

Yeah.

Seb the snowman!

Ohhh! Yeah! Of course!

- You go. We'll do this.
- No, I, I...

- Go!
- OK. Yeah, bye.

Right, let's call Seb.

♪ ..Wenceslas looked out
on the Feast of Stephen... ♪

Come on through.

She should be around
here somewhere.

Ah! Hello, love.
All right, Lou?

Guys, this is my stepmum.

Er, Louise, this is Esther and Margo.

Hi. Louise, we're from
Shipton Abbott Police.

It's nothing to worry about.

I'm going to let Margo
take the lead on this one.

Um, Louise,
we believe you had an older brother,

and you were separated when you
were young.

Well, we found him...

SPEECH lNAUDlBLE

I'm here!

- Hi.
- You're late!

- What's going on?
- We're getting married!

- What?!
- Come on!

He's here.

Ah!

Oh, good Lord!

You mean we're really getting married?

Just told you.

Yes, but I thought it a metaphor.

For?

For something else.

You do still want to
get married, don't you?

Yes, of course I do, but, I
mean, why the big secret?

Because whenever we've
planned it properly,

it's always gone wrong.

And so I just thought I'd...

...sneak up on you.

HE SNORTS
Because after Rosie left,

I wanted to show you that,
as hard as it was losing her,

it was kind of all right because...

...I still had you...

...and you're enough.

So are you.

- Shall we get married, then?
- Yes, please.

CHEERlNG AND APPLAUSE

Er, you'll need to change.

- And, uh, I nearly forgot...
- Mm-hm?

...I found you a best man, too.

Ah! Crikey!

Commissioner?

Nice of you to join us,
Inspector Goodman.

He's here.

Annie, do you want to take over?

Dad.

Look over there.

It's Louise.

HE SOBS

David!

SHE SIGHS

Can't believe you'd come
all this way just for me.

I didn't.

Oh.

I was in the UK anyway,
visiting my daughter.

This was a happy coincidence.

- Even so, thank you, sir.
- Hmm.

- Or should I call you Selwyn?
- No.

Of course.

♪ If I'm sure to laugh
at all your jokes ♪

♪ If I'm with you when
You're feeling broke ♪

♪ If I promise this is what I'll do ♪

♪ Will you love me like I do you? ♪

♪ If I hold you when... ♪

Hello.

CHEERlNG, APPLAUSE
ESTHER: Wait!

MARGO GROANS
Made it!

ESTHER: Just in time.

So, we're here today

to witness the marriage of
Humphrey and Martha,

who are not so much starting
a new life together

but confirming
their commitment to each other.

Do you remember our house?

My... my bedroom was next
to your bedroom.

That's right.

...to cherish and respect each other

throughout our lives together.

- Humphrey.
- Hmm?

"I give you this ring..."

Oh, yes. Um...

Where is it?

THEY LAUGH

just talk amongst yourselves.
Ah, got it.

Phew!

Sorry?

"I give you this ring

"as a symbol of our love,
trust and marriage."

I give you this ring...

...as a symbol of our
love, trust and marriage.

"I promise to care for you
above all others,

"and to give you my love,
friendship and support."

I promise to care for you
above all others...

...to give you my love...

...friendship and support.

Other finger.

Other finger.

No, the ring. The other finger.

Oh!
LAUGHTER

All right.

Oh, sorry. Golly!

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
Yeah.

Other finger. Yeah.
CHUCKLES

"And to respect and cherish you
throughout our lives together."

And to respect and cherish you

throughout our lives together.

And now, a short reading
from the best man, Selwyn.

Um...

Who is to say what love is?

From the fluttering heart
that sees a face long missed,

to the tearful,
breathless wrench of a love

only ever found in the moment.

Or a love that speaks of blood shared.

Of a bond that can't be broken.

Of a light that can never
be dimmed by adversity.

Who is to say what love is?

Because...
Hey! How are we doing?

.. Love seeks no favour.

Nor does it seek permission.

It seeks... no title...

.. no praise or reward.

Love...

. .simply is.

Love never blames,
always forgives...

. .and cannot be
diminished... by distance...

. .or weakened by time.

Love is what is left when
everything else deserts you.

Who is to say... what love is?

Only you.

Because only you know.

At which point, having
declared their vows to each other,

and through the exchanging of rings,

I can very happily declare

that Humphrey and Martha
are now husband and wife.

CHEERlNG AND APPLAUSE

Ah, congratulations.

Archie, thank you.

This is perfect.

Worth all the skullduggery?

Definitely.

All those clandestine meetings

was a bit like being back
in the old days.

Stop! I'm a married woman.

And I couldn't be happier for you.

It's such a shame he can't find someone.

I mean, He's handsome,
rich, generous to a fault.

Even makes his own wine.

I mean, there should be
a queue around the building!

SHE SIGHS
Though, I have to admit

that your clumsy, annoying,

- socially awkward...
- Sorry!

. .Yet quite delightful
beanpole of a new husband

is quite a catch, too.

Yes, he is.
THEY LAUGH

Oh, Inspector,
we were just comparing notes.

That's mildly terrifying.

It seems you've brought

all your annoying traits with
you from the Caribbean.

But also your brilliance.
Ah.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you, ma'am.

Mwah!

Commissioner. It was my pleasure.

Thank you for being here.

And your reading was quite beautiful.

I'm not entirely sure...

.. how you managed to convince her...

. .to marry you.

HE CHUCKLES

You're a very lucky man.

Yes, I am.
MOBILE RINGS

Ah... Oh!

Ah, excuse me.

Of course. Inspector Wilson?

Oh!

David and his sister, how'd it go?

Er, we found her.

She agreed to meet him.

They're together now.

It was amazing.

So she was related to Seb the snowman?

Yeah, she was his stepmum.

Congratulations, everyone!

Well done! You're amazing!

Yeah, we are.

I think we should reward
ourselves with another drink.

Oh, yes. Good idea. Come on.

Sir?

Um, just a minute.

Everything OK, sir?

That was the new inspector.

He's working on a
case in Saint Marie,

but there seems to be links to the UK

which he would like me to look
into while I'm here.

Sorry, Selwyn.

Can I steal my husband?

Be my guest.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.
ALL CHUCKLE

ESTHER: Thank you!
All right?

I'm going to go and have a look
at the cake.

Any excuse.

Excuse me?

To stand next to me.

What did you do,
pour it into a pot plant?

You wish.

MAN: One-two, two, one-two.
Yeah, that's great, thanks.

Maybe I do.

Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen. We are Bellowhead!

Don't.
You can't keep running away.

Mum, come on! The band's started!

♪ My true love, she was beautiful... ♪

Well, we finally did it.

SHE CHUCKLES Sorry, that one.

Yes, we did.

- Happy?
- Very.

Actually, it doesn't matter
if you are or not.

There's no escape now.

You're stuck with me.

It's the only place
I've ever wanted to be.

Merry Christmas, Mrs Goodman.

Merry Christmas, Mr Goodman.

♪ Hear the music play ♪

♪ For I'm off on the morning train ♪

♪ And I won't be back again... ♪
Oi, you two!

KELBY: Come on, sir!
♪ I'm taking a trip ♪

♪ On a government ship
10,000 miles away ♪

♪ Oh, dark and dismal was the day ♪

♪ When last I saw my Meg ♪

♪ She'd a government band
around each hand ♪

♪ And another one round her leg ♪

♪ And another one
around her leg, me lads ♪

♪ As the big ship sailed away ♪

♪ And I said that I'd be true to her ♪

♪ 10,000 miles away ♪

♪ And I'll sing blow the winds, high-o ♪

♪ A-rovin' I will go ♪

♪ I'll stay no more
round on shore... ♪

Well done!

♪ While I hear the music play ♪

♪ Oh, I'm on the morning train ♪

♪ I won't be back again ♪

♪ I'm taking a trip on
a government ship ♪

♪ 10,000 miles away... ♪

CHATTER

That's great dancing.

SONG ENDS

CHEERlNG, APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Goodman!

♪ The sun could shine
through a London fog ♪

♪ Or the river run bright clear ♪

♪ And the ocean's brine would
turn to wine ♪

♪ And I'll forget me beer ♪

♪ Oh, I'll forget me beer, me lads ♪

♪ And the landlord's tab I'll pay ♪

♪ Before I forget my own
dear leg 10,000 miles away ♪

♪ And I'll sing blow the winds, high-o ♪

♪ A-rovin' I will go ♪

♪ I'll stay no more on England's shore ♪

♪ Going to hear the music play ♪

♪ For I'm off on the morning train ♪

♪ For I'm off on the morning train ♪

♪ For I'm off on the morning train ♪

♪ I won't be back again ♪

♪ I'm taking a trip on a government
ship 10,000 miles away. ♪

♪ It's the season,
love and understanding... ♪