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Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome,
welcome to The Tonight Show. You're
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You made it. Thank you.
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Thank you for being here for our first
show of 2026.
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Good luck to everyone who's made New
Year's resolutions.
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Yeah, some people want to lose weight
while others want to gain Venezuela.
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Yeah, the big news from this weekend is
that... President Trump sent U .S.
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troops into Venezuela to capture the
country's president, Nicolas Maduro.
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Yep, the news took everyone by surprise
when I heard there was an operation to
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extract a president. I just assumed
Trump got stuck in his tanning bed.
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Little help, little help.
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Yeah, it turns out Trump's New Year's
resolution was to distract everyone from
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the Epstein files.
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It was an odd weekend. For 48 hours, CNN
had wall -to -wall coverage of Nicolas
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Maduro and Chevy Chase.
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Very odd.
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Yep, Trump ordered the operation without
getting congressional approval, and he
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watched it from a Mar -a -Lago situation
room.
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Ooh. Yeah, which means there's a chance
Vanilla Ice knew about the mission
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before Congress did.
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All right, stop.
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Collaborate and listen.
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That's right, the Mar -a -Lago Situation
Room.
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It's historic. It was the first war ever
launched from a table next to an omelet
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bar.
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Apparently, one of the reasons the White
House ordered the capture is because
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Maduro kept dancing in public, and Trump
thought he was mocking him.
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Yeah, Trump said he was one YMCA away
from getting nuked.
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Meanwhile,
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after Maduro was captured, Trump posted
a photo of him on a plane in noise
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-canceling headphones, blackout glasses,
and gray sweats. Take a look.
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Yeah. Throw in a neck pillow, and that's
me when I fly.
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Yep, the U .S. says shockwaves around
the world with a surprise attack and
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capture of Venezuela's president. It's
such a huge deal that President Trump
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actually agreed to join us right now for
an interview about it.
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Thank you for doing this. Mr. President,
you just invaded a country and captured
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its leader.
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Which country was it again?
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Venezuela.
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Close enough.
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You didn't get congressional approval
before the strike. Is what you did
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No, no, no, no, no.
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Is it just an attempt to distract
everyone from the Epstein file?
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Oh, yes, yes, yes.
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Well, I saw a picture of you during the
mission, and you were watching a screen.
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What exactly were you watching?
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Stranger Things. Oh, yeah, that's good.
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I read that the CIA was tracking
Maduro's location. If another country
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tracking you, where would they look?
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Burger King, Wendy's.
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And McDonald's. Okay, of course, of
course.
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Now, was the attack a warning to other
nations, like, say, Saudi Arabia or
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Russia? Saudi Arabia and Russia will
repeat... Last
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question. You say you want to run
Venezuela.
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Do you even speak Spanish?
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El hombre del pelicuín.
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All right, thank you for your time.
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Well, with Trump announcing that the U
.S. will temporarily run Venezuela, many
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are wondering what exactly the plan is.
So far, it's been pretty hazy. So for
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more on this, we're joined by a member
of Trump's team in charge of the plan,
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Ryan Beckett. Welcome to the show, Ryan.
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So let's get right to it. What is the
plan for Venezuela?
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Whoa, whoa, whoa now.
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You're not even going to start by
wishing me a Happy New Year?
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I just didn't think that was important.
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Everyone knows we are still in that
window where you got to start by wishing
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person a Happy New Year.
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Fine. Okay.
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Happy New Year.
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Let's talk about the plan.
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Thank you.
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Same to you.
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You did have a good holiday?
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was good. Now,
moving on. The plan.
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Yeah, well, I had a good one, too.
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Good holiday.
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Spends it with the in -laws, so that was
less of a vacation, more of a part
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-time job.
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Anyway, I should probably let you get
back to the show. Take care.
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Wait, wait, no, no, no.
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You're here to discuss Trump's plan for
Venezuela. That's what you're in charge
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of. Jimmy, everyone knows 2025 was all
about making plans.
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2026 is more, it's a more chill year.
You know, less planning, more just, you
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know, living in the moment. I'm sorry if
you can't handle that.
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I can handle it. It just sounds like
you're saying there isn't a plan.
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That is ridiculous. We have a plan. We
are going to go into the abyss. And
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Eleven is going to face off against
Vecna in the Mind Flayer.
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That's the finale of Stranger Things.
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Okay, okay, fine, fine.
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Let's do a little role -playing, okay?
All right, just imagine that you are in
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charge of coming up with a plan.
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What would that plan be? Go.
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I don't know.
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Wow, wow.
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Breaking news. Jimmy Fallon has no plan
for Venezuela.
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That's not my job. That's your job.
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You want a job swap?
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No, I want you to explain the plan for
Venezuela.
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Okay, the plan is...
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And that's the plan.
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Oh, my gosh. I just realized I muted
myself.
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We're not on Zoom.
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We have to move on. A member of Trump's
Venezuela, Peter.
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Waste of time.
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Muted.
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Well, switching gears to some happy
news. Today, IHOP launched bottomless
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pancakes.
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Yep, bottomless pancakes. So far, the
record is three pancakes.
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Some more business news.
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How many pancakes did he eat? Three.
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Filling. Some more business news.
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Ooh, this is interesting.
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What is it?
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What is it?
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McDonald's is facing a lawsuit claiming
that the McRib doesn't actually contain
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rib meat.
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It's strange. The McRib doesn't contain
rib meat. However, the Filet -O -Fish
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does.
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I feel like these jokes aren't going to
work.
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It's the food portion.
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Yeah, it's the food portion of the
monologue.
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I'll read this one, but you won't have
to laugh at it. Oh, come on. Yeah, the
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lawsuit is full of people going, you
mean this isn't an organic free -range
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McRib?
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And finally today, the first ever WeGoby
pill was launched in the U .S. Oh.
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But this is where the pill comes in
three flavors, barbecue, honey mustard,
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ranch. There you go.
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We have a great show. What a show we
have for you tonight. She's a very
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actress who stars as Mac in the giant
Netflix show Stranger Things. The fifth
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and final season is streaming now.
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Sadie Sink is here tonight.
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This is great.
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Also on the show tonight, he's one of my
favorites. He stars in the brand new
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show Best Medicine, which airs Tuesdays
on Fox and streams the next day on Hulu.
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Josh Charles is joining us tonight.
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And we got great music tonight from AJR!
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Fantastic show.
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Guys, life can be complicated, but it's
not that hard to make it simple. In
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fact, everything can be broken down into
three simple steps. I'll show you what
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I mean. It's time for three simple
steps.
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Three simple steps, yeah.
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Three simple steps.
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Okay, our first topic is taking down
your Christmas lights.
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All right, let's break it down into
three simple steps. Step one, get a
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Step two, balance it on the side of your
house.
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Step three, have an ambulance waiting in
the driveway to take dad to the
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hospital. Three simple steps.
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Up next, we have going to the dentist.
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Step one, find a dentist.
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Step two, make an appointment.
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Step three, floss till you bleed so
you're technically not lying when they
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you if you floss.
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Easy. We're done.
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Up next, we have copying a document at
work. Step one, press copy. Step two,
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read toner low.
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Step three, walk away and let someone
else deal with it.
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Up next, we have ordering at a
restaurant.
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Step one, the waiter asks if you're
ready. Step two, telling you just need a
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minute. Step three, spend the next 45
minutes wondering if your waiter moved
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another country.
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Pit of order.
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Up next, we have buying a house.
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Step one, go on Zillow. Step two, type
in your budget. Step three, close your
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laptop and walk into the ocean.
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Up next, we have recycling.
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Step one, gather your items. Step two,
spend time carefully separating plastic,
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glass, metal, and paper.
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Step three, watch the garbage man chuck
it all into the same truck.
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And finally, we have avoiding stranger
things spoilers.
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Step one, stay off TikTok.
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Step two, okay, maybe just a little
TikTok won't hurt. Step three, damn it!
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right, well, that's all the time we have
for three simple steps. We'll be right
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back with Sadie Sink, everybody. Come on
back!
13831
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