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1
00:00:01,317 --> 00:00:04,119
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,154 --> 00:00:06,921
Well, where the hell
is this guy?
3
00:00:06,956 --> 00:00:08,657
He said he'd be here
in 15 minutes.
4
00:00:08,691 --> 00:00:09,858
It's been nearly 20.
5
00:00:09,859 --> 00:00:11,494
Doesn't he realize
this is an emergency?
6
00:00:11,495 --> 00:00:13,796
Hey, calm down, will you Norm?
He'll be here.
7
00:00:13,830 --> 00:00:15,997
Well, it's a hell
of a world we live in, Sam.
8
00:00:16,032 --> 00:00:17,833
We can put a man
on the moon okay,
9
00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:19,768
but we can't get a beer tap
repairman here
10
00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:21,203
in a reasonable amount of time.
11
00:00:21,204 --> 00:00:22,971
Norm, sit down!
12
00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:24,990
Just relax.
13
00:00:24,991 --> 00:00:27,209
Why, why don't you have a,
have a bottle of beer?
14
00:00:27,210 --> 00:00:29,611
Yeah, right, a bottle.
15
00:00:31,147 --> 00:00:34,115
It's just not the same, Sam.
16
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:37,570
Well, I'm sure Mr. Clavin would
let you have some of his beer.
17
00:00:37,572 --> 00:00:39,320
Well, I'm afraid not, Woody.
18
00:00:39,321 --> 00:00:42,924
No, no, you see, we,
we knew that the taps
19
00:00:42,925 --> 00:00:45,093
were gonna be out
of service for a while,
20
00:00:45,127 --> 00:00:46,562
Sam made an announcement.
21
00:00:46,596 --> 00:00:50,499
So I took a moment to figure out
that if I take just a little sip
22
00:00:50,533 --> 00:00:51,767
every now and again,
23
00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:54,670
it would last until the
repairman fixes yon tap.
24
00:00:54,704 --> 00:00:55,971
But, when I suggested
25
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:59,291
the strategy to Mr. Peterson,
26
00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:02,194
he called me... well, what was
it you called me again, Norm?
27
00:01:02,245 --> 00:01:03,529
Bozo.
28
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:04,830
Right.
29
00:01:04,881 --> 00:01:07,082
I'm a bozo.
30
00:01:07,083 --> 00:01:10,386
I'm, uh, gonna go to
the men's room now, okay.
31
00:01:10,387 --> 00:01:11,603
Excuse me.
32
00:01:11,604 --> 00:01:13,806
Oh, right, and you're gonna
take your beer with you?
33
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,874
Come on, Cliff.
34
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,642
We've been friends for 15 years.
35
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:19,028
I'm so pathetic,
36
00:01:19,062 --> 00:01:22,731
you think I'm gonna steal
my best friend's beer, huh?
37
00:01:22,766 --> 00:01:25,200
Yeah, you're right, Normie.
38
00:01:25,234 --> 00:01:26,284
I trust you.
39
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,945
Bozo.
40
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:44,553
♪ Sometimes you wanna go ♪
41
00:01:44,587 --> 00:01:49,023
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
42
00:01:50,326 --> 00:01:54,429
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
43
00:01:54,464 --> 00:01:57,098
♪ You wanna be
where you can see ♪
44
00:01:57,133 --> 00:01:59,801
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
45
00:01:59,835 --> 00:02:04,105
♪ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name ♪
46
00:02:25,028 --> 00:02:27,596
Yo, someone call for
a beer tap repair?
47
00:02:27,598 --> 00:02:28,881
Yeah... About an hour ago!
48
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,215
Hey, hey, Norm...
Where in the hell have you been?
49
00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,584
Hey, hey, sit! Whoops.
50
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:32,885
Sit!
51
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,536
Excuse me.
52
00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:36,672
Yeah, right over here.
53
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,907
Hi.
54
00:02:38,942 --> 00:02:40,543
My name is Carla.
55
00:02:40,545 --> 00:02:42,361
Hi. Don. Yeah, I know,
56
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,179
I read it off your left pec.
57
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:47,599
If you, uh,
58
00:02:47,651 --> 00:02:50,052
have anything else
written on your body,
59
00:02:50,053 --> 00:02:51,988
I'm looking for
something to read in bed.
60
00:02:51,989 --> 00:02:55,173
Will you let the man
do his job please, Carla?
61
00:02:55,192 --> 00:02:57,293
I know Braille.
62
00:02:57,327 --> 00:02:59,462
No, no, no, go on.
63
00:02:59,463 --> 00:03:03,549
Oh, hey, look who's back
from vacation.- Miss Howe!
64
00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:05,451
Hi, Rebecca. How
was your cruise?
65
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:07,703
Well, I can honestly say
that it was the most painful,
66
00:03:07,704 --> 00:03:09,872
excruciating, depressing
experience of my life.
67
00:03:09,873 --> 00:03:11,306
There was not one single
68
00:03:11,307 --> 00:03:13,058
eligible bachelor
on that whole trip.
69
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,459
You know what?
70
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:16,495
The very first day
I stepped on a poison blowfish,
71
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:19,031
my leg swelled up like
a bloated corpse.
72
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,685
A bloated corpse without
unsightly stubble I hope.
73
00:03:21,686 --> 00:03:22,736
Oh shut up, Cliff.
74
00:03:22,737 --> 00:03:23,970
Oh, say, Rebecca,
75
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:25,504
maybe I misunderstood
you earlier.
76
00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:29,224
I thought the purpose of your
trip wasn't to snare a husband.
77
00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:30,693
Well, of course it wasn't.
78
00:03:30,727 --> 00:03:32,261
Why'd you go?
79
00:03:32,262 --> 00:03:34,763
Woody, I was very clear about
why I went before I left.
80
00:03:34,764 --> 00:03:36,031
Don't you remember?
81
00:03:36,066 --> 00:03:37,600
No.
82
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,569
I said that I went
to find myself,
83
00:03:39,570 --> 00:03:41,136
to look myself square in the eye
84
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,272
and find out who I really
was, yada, yada, yada.
85
00:03:43,273 --> 00:03:46,141
Oh, yeah. I remember
the yada, yada, yada part.
86
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,327
Half way through the trip,
87
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:50,563
I realized something-
that my life is doo-doo.
88
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,897
Please, Miss Howe.
89
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,249
You may have used that
kind of language at sea,
90
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:56,719
but we're not in the
boiler rooms among sailors.
91
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,088
You know, the problem is
that I'm always looking
92
00:03:59,089 --> 00:04:00,089
for some, for some
93
00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:02,792
rich, powerful man,
but not anymore.
94
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,660
Now I want a sweet,
honest guy...
95
00:04:04,695 --> 00:04:05,795
excuse me...
96
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,897
you know, a nice, hard-working,
97
00:04:07,931 --> 00:04:10,332
decent kind of fellow,
with a great smile...
98
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:12,885
Excuse me.
99
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,221
But I mean, where are you
gonna find a guy like that?
100
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,456
It's not like they just
pop up out of thin air.
101
00:04:18,742 --> 00:04:22,161
Hey, lady, your
problem's solved.
102
00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:23,496
Good. Bill me.
103
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:25,064
I'm talking to my friends here.
104
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:26,666
Thank you so much, Don.
105
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,568
If only we lived in a culture
106
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,892
where men could kiss
other men without shame.
107
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,007
Uh, excuse me.
108
00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:36,875
Uh, I'm Don.
109
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,478
I'm happy for you, Don.
110
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:44,049
You know, I'm really sorry
about your vacation
111
00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:46,485
and, uh, while I was
working down there,
112
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:49,355
I couldn't help but notice how
nicely your leg has recovered.
113
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,023
Anyway, I was wondering
114
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:53,893
if, uh, maybe you'd
want to go out
115
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:57,296
and have a cup of coffee,
maybe a movie, something.
116
00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:00,632
Excuse me.
117
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:02,568
Aren't you a plumber?
118
00:05:05,989 --> 00:05:07,889
Well, a service technician.
119
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,575
Oh, can you ever forgive me?
120
00:05:11,962 --> 00:05:15,163
Rebecca, excuse me
for interrupting,
121
00:05:15,198 --> 00:05:16,799
but may I ask you a question?
122
00:05:16,801 --> 00:05:18,467
Do you listen to yourself?
123
00:05:18,468 --> 00:05:19,535
Well, sometimes.
124
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:20,869
All right, not two minutes ago,
125
00:05:20,870 --> 00:05:22,772
you announced to the bar that
you were opening yourself up
126
00:05:22,773 --> 00:05:24,173
to men from any walk of life.
127
00:05:24,258 --> 00:05:26,608
Now, that man seems
attractive, decent,
128
00:05:26,677 --> 00:05:29,111
and most of all,
interested in you.
129
00:05:29,146 --> 00:05:30,579
You're lonely, desperate,
130
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:32,314
and if the bloom isn't
off the rose just yet,
131
00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:34,650
you can certainly hear
pruning shears approaching.
132
00:05:34,651 --> 00:05:38,571
He is kind of cute, isn't he?
133
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,039
Actually, he's just
what I was describing.
134
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,340
Can you belie... Is that
just like me or what?
135
00:05:42,341 --> 00:05:43,842
It's like, I'm
just standing here
136
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,893
blathering on and on
and on and on and on,
137
00:05:45,894 --> 00:05:47,113
while opportunity
is just passing
138
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:48,563
me by-it's like
life is a parade.
139
00:05:48,564 --> 00:05:49,884
Rebecca! Rebecca, fetch!
140
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,835
Oh, sorry, yoo-hoo,
Mr. Burley Working Type Guy,
141
00:05:52,869 --> 00:05:54,169
Hold up a second.
142
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,865
I had a great time.
143
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,500
So did I.
144
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:18,727
I'll see you
tonight at 7:00? 7:00.
145
00:06:18,762 --> 00:06:20,729
And, uh, oh, I almost forgot.
146
00:06:20,764 --> 00:06:22,998
I, I, I got a little
something for you,
147
00:06:23,032 --> 00:06:24,733
um, just so you
wouldn't be late.
148
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:25,951
What is it?
149
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:29,321
Don!
150
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:32,158
Oh, what a beautiful
antique watch!
151
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,160
Yeah.
Oh, I can't accept this, Don.
152
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:35,528
It's much too expensive.
153
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:37,019
No, no, I want you to have it.
154
00:06:37,047 --> 00:06:38,480
It was my mother's.
155
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:40,716
Oh, when did she die?
156
00:06:40,717 --> 00:06:41,684
She didn't.
157
00:06:41,685 --> 00:06:43,385
She just dozes off a lot.
158
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,638
Oh, Don, you're so goofy!
159
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,823
And this is so sweet.
160
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:52,577
No, Rebecca, nothing's
too good for you.
161
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,380
Maybe you are.
162
00:06:57,017 --> 00:07:01,319
Look at her,
throwing herself at him.
163
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,855
No class.
164
00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,356
No class at all.
165
00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:11,129
I just went on a
service call with Don.
166
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:17,453
He was unplugging a drain.
167
00:07:17,487 --> 00:07:22,157
We got to... we got to... we got
to eat out of his lunch pail,
168
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:25,861
and then I got to hand him his
tools out of his tool belt.
169
00:07:25,895 --> 00:07:30,031
He wears a tool belt?
170
00:07:30,066 --> 00:07:34,235
Oh, man, why don't you
just spit on my grave.
171
00:07:34,237 --> 00:07:37,222
Well, it's nice seeing you
guys have fun like that.
172
00:07:37,256 --> 00:07:38,540
Oh, yeah.
173
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,626
And you know what's
different about Don?
174
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,395
It's like I'm not always
thinking about my next move.
175
00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:46,448
You know, the less I work at it,
the better it seems to get.
176
00:07:46,482 --> 00:07:50,085
So I'm just gonna take
it nice and easy, nice and slow,
177
00:07:50,153 --> 00:07:51,787
you know, one step at a time,
178
00:07:51,822 --> 00:07:54,022
I'm not gonna fall
too hard or too fast.
179
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:56,291
God, I love him!
180
00:07:57,377 --> 00:08:01,096
I love him so much!
181
00:08:02,632 --> 00:08:04,966
Do you know what I'm saying?
182
00:08:04,968 --> 00:08:08,237
Yes, you love him! Yes!
183
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:12,490
There's even talk of marriage.
184
00:08:12,509 --> 00:08:14,176
- Marriage?!
- Yeah.
185
00:08:14,177 --> 00:08:15,678
He, he talked about marriage?
186
00:08:15,679 --> 00:08:18,380
Well, he says it with his eyes.
187
00:08:19,516 --> 00:08:21,917
And you know what, I, I
just have to say that
188
00:08:21,951 --> 00:08:24,252
if, if he did ask me
to marry him right now,
189
00:08:24,287 --> 00:08:26,288
I think that I would
have to say yes.
190
00:08:26,290 --> 00:08:29,575
Honey, don't...
191
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:32,511
You want to step into my
office just for a second? Sure, Sam.
192
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,112
Looky! Looky! Looky! Looky!
193
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,219
You know the idea
of romantic love
194
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:45,458
is a relatively
new phenomenon. Yeah.
195
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:49,261
In olden cultures, wives
were no more than chattel.
196
00:08:49,346 --> 00:08:52,548
They'd parade the women
through the marketplace
197
00:08:52,582 --> 00:08:56,485
dressed in nothing but flimsy,
tight-fitting animal skins
198
00:08:56,519 --> 00:08:59,555
with their breasts heaving
and undulating in the...
199
00:08:59,556 --> 00:09:01,440
Cliff, I don't want to hear
anymore of this, okay?
200
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:04,025
Anybody who wants to hear
the rest of the story,
201
00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:05,990
uh, follow me in the pool room,
please.
202
00:09:10,734 --> 00:09:12,968
Go ahead, Paul.
You know you want to.
203
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,540
I think you're
rushing into this.
204
00:09:18,575 --> 00:09:20,709
You know, I mean,
it's been two weeks.
205
00:09:20,743 --> 00:09:22,544
What do you know about the guy?
206
00:09:22,546 --> 00:09:25,014
I know he's good, he's decent,
207
00:09:25,048 --> 00:09:28,250
and he thinks that I'm the best
thing that ever happened to him.
208
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,635
He said that?
209
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:32,871
He says it with his eyes.
210
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,290
Does this guy's eyes
shut up long enough
211
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:37,693
for his mouth
to ever say anything?
212
00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:41,129
Now, Sam, I appreciate
this but I'm a big girl.
213
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:43,131
And you know what?
214
00:09:43,133 --> 00:09:44,583
I think I'm gonna go for it.
215
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:47,185
All right, okay, but
you're settling.
216
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:48,621
Settling?
217
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:49,855
No way.
218
00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:51,039
Honey, come on.
219
00:09:51,073 --> 00:09:53,542
Look, you've had bad luck
with men all your life.
220
00:09:53,543 --> 00:09:55,111
You're afraid you're never
gonna get married,
221
00:09:55,112 --> 00:09:56,996
so you're latching
onto the first guy
222
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,331
that gives you the time of day.
223
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:02,000
That is absolutely,
categorically not true!
224
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,235
Yes, it is.
225
00:10:03,253 --> 00:10:05,937
So what?
226
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,472
Is it not better
227
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:09,591
that I settle and I have someone
228
00:10:09,592 --> 00:10:10,859
than stick to my high standards
229
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,061
and have no one
and end up an old maid?
230
00:10:13,129 --> 00:10:15,764
Honey, that smells
of desperation.
231
00:10:15,798 --> 00:10:18,267
You don't... you
don't need that.
232
00:10:18,301 --> 00:10:21,736
You deserve the
greatest guy in the world.
233
00:10:21,771 --> 00:10:25,074
Oh, God. Oh, God.
I don't believe I'm about to say this.
234
00:10:25,108 --> 00:10:26,475
Sit down, sit down.
235
00:10:26,509 --> 00:10:32,581
Listen, I've been doing a...
doing a lot of thinking recently
236
00:10:32,615 --> 00:10:38,420
about marriage and
settling down and stuff.
237
00:10:38,488 --> 00:10:40,756
Yeah?
238
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:44,960
I can't believe this-
my hands are sweating.
239
00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:46,928
Come on, Sam, go on
with what you were saying.
240
00:10:46,929 --> 00:10:52,200
Oh... I, I just think
that... you and I...
241
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:55,069
Whoa-whoa-whoa, wait a minute.
242
00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:57,539
You're not saying what I think
you're saying, are you?
243
00:10:57,540 --> 00:11:00,475
You know, I think there's a
chance for you and me if...
244
00:11:00,510 --> 00:11:03,111
If, if what?
245
00:11:03,145 --> 00:11:05,947
All right, all right,
here goes...
246
00:11:05,981 --> 00:11:09,401
If, in the next couple of years,
247
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,203
the right woman
doesn't come along,
248
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,472
you're on the top of
a very short list.
249
00:11:17,327 --> 00:11:20,029
I know, I can't believe
I'm saying this, either!
250
00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:25,584
God, this is incredible.
251
00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:28,353
This... y-you are saying that
252
00:11:28,387 --> 00:11:32,424
you will marry me if someone
better doesn't come along?
253
00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:35,526
Is it mind-blowing or what?
254
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:39,648
Oh, just wait, just one second.
255
00:11:39,683 --> 00:11:41,984
I-I-I just want to be
crystal clear on this.
256
00:11:42,018 --> 00:11:47,940
Y-You, you sort of, look at me
like your safety net?
257
00:11:48,024 --> 00:11:50,592
Okay...
258
00:11:51,561 --> 00:11:54,329
You stupid jackass!
259
00:11:54,364 --> 00:11:55,914
What? How...? What, what?!
260
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:58,049
How can you be so insensitive?
261
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,568
Oh, oh, now, now, wait a second.
262
00:11:59,569 --> 00:12:01,837
Listen, all right, maybe the
words didn't come out right,
263
00:12:01,838 --> 00:12:04,305
but all I'm saying is
that you don't have to
264
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:06,842
settle for this... this plumber.
265
00:12:06,876 --> 00:12:07,959
Settle? Me?!
266
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,778
Wait a minute, I will
tell you something!
267
00:12:09,779 --> 00:12:11,312
The woman that
marries you will be
268
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:14,115
the all-time four-star settler.
269
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,718
What's that
supposed to mean? What does it mean?
270
00:12:16,753 --> 00:12:19,088
Take a look at yourself.
Look at you, I mean,
271
00:12:19,089 --> 00:12:21,090
the only thing you ever
think about is sex.
272
00:12:21,091 --> 00:12:23,158
You think you're going to
make some woman feel special
273
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,493
just because she's
just another notch
274
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,795
in your sliver of a headboard?
275
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:30,598
Sam, I mean wise up!
276
00:12:30,633 --> 00:12:33,034
Do you ever hear women
talk about you anymore?
277
00:12:33,069 --> 00:12:35,570
You're a cliché.
You are pathetic!
278
00:12:35,571 --> 00:12:37,372
Women talk about you
out there and they,
279
00:12:37,373 --> 00:12:39,243
they laugh at you
like you're a joke!
280
00:12:41,778 --> 00:12:44,712
I have work to do.
281
00:12:46,482 --> 00:12:48,483
God, Sam, I'm-I'm sorry.
282
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,919
I didn't mean to
hurt your feelings.
283
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,388
I-I-I think that I just
was upset because you were
284
00:12:53,389 --> 00:12:56,324
just so inconsiderate and I...
285
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:05,417
So, the, uh, part
about me being a joke.
286
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:07,053
You were just making up
that stuff, right?
287
00:13:07,054 --> 00:13:12,240
Oh, yeah, 'cause, you know, you
hurt me, so I wanted to hurt you
288
00:13:12,275 --> 00:13:16,878
and... no, I mean, in fact,
you would, you would make
289
00:13:16,912 --> 00:13:20,515
any woman a real good husband.
290
00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:22,484
You're a catch.
291
00:13:24,988 --> 00:13:26,588
Oh, yeah, that's better.
292
00:13:39,836 --> 00:13:42,271
Have you noticed that,
uh, someone in this bar
293
00:13:42,305 --> 00:13:44,807
is getting a little looney?
294
00:13:44,841 --> 00:13:46,775
Sam...
295
00:13:46,776 --> 00:13:48,926
everyone in this bar
is on a connecting flight
296
00:13:48,927 --> 00:13:50,662
to beyond looney.
297
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:53,798
Yeah, I'm talking about Rebecca.
298
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:55,017
You know, I'm a little
worried about her.
299
00:13:55,018 --> 00:13:57,235
Well, how so? Well...
300
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,938
She made up this
weird story about how
301
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,608
no one would want to
marry me because, you know,
302
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,676
I've had a lot of
women in my day.
303
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:07,012
What exactly do you
find weird about that?
304
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:10,348
Don't say you agree with her?
305
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,016
Well, she has a point, Sam.
306
00:14:12,050 --> 00:14:15,720
Having a prolific sexual past
can be very intimidating
307
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:18,590
and even unattractive
to a potential mate.
308
00:14:18,592 --> 00:14:21,493
Well, you're as crazy
as she is, Frasier!
309
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,428
Come on, man, you know,
the woman I choose
310
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,163
is going to feel very special.
311
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:29,400
You know, like when a great chef
picks the perfect pork chop?
312
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,253
That's beautiful, Sam.
313
00:14:31,254 --> 00:14:35,340
But listen, if this is
really bothering you...
314
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:36,441
I didn't say it
was bothering me.
315
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:38,042
Well, all right, okay, okay.
316
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:42,347
But if it does bother you, you're
perfectly capable of making a change.
317
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:45,550
You can reinvent Sam Malone.
318
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,569
You know, this could be
a turning point for you in your life.
319
00:14:47,570 --> 00:14:49,721
Listen, I'm going to write
down the number of a man.
320
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:54,659
His name is Dr. Robert Sutton.
321
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:59,698
And he has a therapy group
for sexual compulsives.
322
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,633
Well, what are-
what are you saying?
323
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,234
I'm hooked on sex?
324
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,771
Well, let's face it Sam. It consumes you.
325
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,773
Look, be honest.
How long do you think
326
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,508
you could go without
thinking about sex?
327
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,709
As long as I want.
328
00:15:12,228 --> 00:15:15,230
Fine, go ahead. Time me.
329
00:15:15,231 --> 00:15:16,331
All right, start now.
330
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:20,235
How long was that?
331
00:15:20,269 --> 00:15:22,403
About a second.
332
00:15:22,404 --> 00:15:23,472
Well, is, is that normal?
333
00:15:23,473 --> 00:15:25,940
For a rabbit!
334
00:15:25,941 --> 00:15:29,578
You know something, I don't,
I don't care what you think.
335
00:15:29,579 --> 00:15:32,147
You know, I am leading
the life that I want to lead.
336
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,416
And if I, if I choose
to settle down someday,
337
00:15:34,417 --> 00:15:36,318
I won't have any problem
finding someone to do it with.
338
00:15:36,319 --> 00:15:38,386
Okay, okay. I'll tell you what.
339
00:15:38,387 --> 00:15:40,021
Let's get a woman's opinion.
Carla will suffice.
340
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,289
Carla...
341
00:15:41,323 --> 00:15:42,958
What...?
342
00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:46,928
Sam here has a question
he'd like to pop.
343
00:15:46,963 --> 00:15:48,029
Shoot.
344
00:15:48,064 --> 00:15:50,065
Yeah, all right, fine.
345
00:15:50,133 --> 00:15:55,403
Carla, strictly hypothetically,
would you marry me?
346
00:15:55,405 --> 00:15:59,156
Sammy, that's a stupid question.
347
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:00,758
Well, I know it is.
348
00:16:00,810 --> 00:16:03,394
Not in a million years!
349
00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:05,530
What? Oh, Sammy.
350
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,131
Nobody loves you
as much as I do.
351
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:08,533
But I know you!
352
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:10,501
You know, we'd be
taking our wedding vows,
353
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:12,871
and you'd be checking out
the bridesmaids.
354
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:15,673
You're a hound.
I can't marry a hound.
355
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,812
Hey, I thought we had something
special going on between us.
356
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:21,980
Definitely, we do.
357
00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:24,249
I just always thought
that I'd be the woman
358
00:16:24,283 --> 00:16:26,685
you cheated on your wife with.
359
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:29,154
Call me a hopeless romantic.
360
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:36,395
Well, Sam, uh,
when you're ready.
361
00:16:39,515 --> 00:16:41,349
Norman. Hey, Fras.
362
00:16:41,350 --> 00:16:42,384
Oh, hey, hey, Norm.
363
00:16:42,385 --> 00:16:44,152
Hmm? Yeah?
364
00:16:44,186 --> 00:16:45,620
Can I talk to you a second?
365
00:16:45,654 --> 00:16:46,954
Sure.
366
00:16:46,956 --> 00:16:49,541
I've been doing a lot of
thinking about my life.
367
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:52,143
You know, and I think
I need a little advice.
368
00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:53,210
Well, well, hold on a second.
369
00:16:53,211 --> 00:16:54,879
Is this going to be
one of those conversations
370
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,147
where you're feeling
sort of vulnerable
371
00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,282
and you really need a
good friend to talk to
372
00:16:58,283 --> 00:17:00,786
'cause you're thinking
about changing the direction of your life?
373
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,487
Yeah.
374
00:17:02,538 --> 00:17:05,290
Could you just hang on
a second, then? Just...
375
00:17:07,577 --> 00:17:10,562
Norm said you
wanted to talk to me?
376
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:17,318
So, that's when I gave
Dr. Sutton a call.
377
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:26,094
Uh, excuse me.
378
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:30,031
Is this the meeting
for the... sex thing?
379
00:17:30,066 --> 00:17:31,366
Yes...
380
00:17:31,401 --> 00:17:33,401
the sexual compulsives group.
381
00:17:33,436 --> 00:17:35,770
Yes, I'm Doctor Sutton.
382
00:17:35,771 --> 00:17:36,838
Hi.
383
00:17:36,839 --> 00:17:38,340
Have a seat. Thank you.
384
00:17:38,374 --> 00:17:40,542
We've just been going
around the room,
385
00:17:40,576 --> 00:17:42,644
telling a little bit
about ourselves.
386
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:44,129
And why don't we
continue with you?
387
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:47,331
Let's start with your name.
First name only, please.
388
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:50,284
All right, uh,
389
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,387
My name is...
390
00:17:53,422 --> 00:17:55,156
Steve.
391
00:17:55,224 --> 00:17:58,442
Hi, Steve.
392
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:03,682
Uh, well, uh,
393
00:18:03,684 --> 00:18:06,334
I'm, I'm starting off
on the wrong foot, here.
394
00:18:06,368 --> 00:18:09,170
Uh, my real name is not Steve.
395
00:18:09,205 --> 00:18:11,906
It's... Bob.
396
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:16,661
Hi, Bob.
397
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,699
I can't believe I'm doing this.
398
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:23,568
I, uh, I'm really embarrassed.
399
00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:25,971
My name isn't Bob, either.
400
00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,873
It's, uh, it's Sam.
401
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,810
No, really, it is. It's Sam.
402
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:35,814
Hi... Sam.
403
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:40,268
Well, uh, where to begin?
404
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:43,154
See, I-I don't, I don't really
have a problem, you know.
405
00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:46,023
It's just that, uh,
my friends think I do.
406
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:50,662
Uh, see, I've, I've, had
a lot of sex in my life.
407
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,797
We all have.
408
00:18:52,815 --> 00:18:54,549
No, No.
409
00:18:57,954 --> 00:19:00,155
You see, I-I mean a lot.
410
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:02,123
So do I.
411
00:19:02,125 --> 00:19:03,458
Yeah, all right, wise guy.
412
00:19:03,493 --> 00:19:04,993
I'm writing down a number here.
413
00:19:07,330 --> 00:19:10,598
Sam, I think you're
missing the point.
414
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,301
Sorry.
415
00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:16,788
Uh, well, you know, I don't,
416
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,723
I don't know why they
think I have a problem.
417
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:21,192
You know, so I have a healthy
sex drive. Big deal.
418
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:23,877
I mean, what's, what's the big
deal about that, huh?
419
00:19:26,349 --> 00:19:29,517
I mean, uh, you know, granted
it's a big part of my life.
420
00:19:29,552 --> 00:19:33,655
You know, when I'm not having
sex, I'm-I'm thinking about it.
421
00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:37,192
I-I don't want you
to think that I'm, uh,
422
00:19:37,193 --> 00:19:38,793
you know, that I'm, uh,
you know,
423
00:19:38,794 --> 00:19:40,529
that I'm shallow, 'cause I
have other interests, too.
424
00:19:40,530 --> 00:19:43,431
You know, like,
like, like my hair.
425
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:50,638
The, uh... the babes
really love my hair.
426
00:19:54,210 --> 00:19:56,278
Yeah, I don't know
what the big deal is.
427
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:57,745
You know, when I was growing up,
428
00:19:57,746 --> 00:20:02,850
it was a sign of-of manhood
how many women you shagged.
429
00:20:02,885 --> 00:20:06,254
I guess I just, uh,
missed the announcement
430
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,239
when they changed the rule.
431
00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:12,494
So, I just kept on doing it.
432
00:20:12,496 --> 00:20:14,712
I- I suppose if
I'm really honest,
433
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:15,830
that I...
434
00:20:15,831 --> 00:20:19,316
I'm not that happy anymore.
435
00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:24,272
Um, I suppose I'm, I'm, you
know, beginning to realize
436
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:28,042
that, uh, all that
skirt chasing kept me from
437
00:20:28,076 --> 00:20:30,945
experiencing some of the
good things in life.
438
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:37,485
Some of the... important things.
439
00:20:37,519 --> 00:20:41,456
Phew. Uh, maybe, uh...
440
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:42,923
Maybe I'm not here
for my friends.
441
00:20:42,924 --> 00:20:48,028
M-Maybe I am here for myself.
442
00:20:51,567 --> 00:20:54,169
Thank you, Sam. I know
that was difficult for you,
443
00:20:54,203 --> 00:20:56,604
but we're glad you're here.
444
00:20:56,638 --> 00:20:57,939
Uh, who's next?
445
00:20:57,973 --> 00:20:59,441
How about you?
446
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:04,779
Uh, well, I guess I've had
this problem for a long time.
447
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,430
Excuse me, your name?
448
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:09,183
Oh, sorry. Rachel.
449
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:11,836
Hi, Rachel.
450
00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:15,657
I guess the root
of my behaviour,
451
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:19,077
like everybody's, is
my low self-esteem.
452
00:21:19,128 --> 00:21:21,346
I never thought
I was very pretty
453
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:24,615
or had any particular talent.
454
00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:27,519
The only time I felt
special was when
455
00:21:27,521 --> 00:21:29,287
men were attracted
to me sexually.
456
00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:33,141
And it started out
innocently enough, you know.
457
00:21:33,175 --> 00:21:36,344
I would sleep with a guy on the
first date, every now and then.
458
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:42,350
But it wasn't long before I was
having a first date every night.
459
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:46,754
And soon, sex was all
I could think about.
460
00:21:46,789 --> 00:21:50,257
Morning, noon and night.
Seven days a week.
461
00:21:50,259 --> 00:21:52,777
It wasn't enough
462
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:55,963
as far as quantity,
it had to be dangerous, too.
463
00:21:55,998 --> 00:22:00,101
I would duck into an alleyway
with a guy on the way to work.
464
00:22:00,136 --> 00:22:03,104
Or I'd stop an elevator
between floors.
465
00:22:03,139 --> 00:22:06,040
Sneak a guy into a department
store dressing room.
466
00:22:07,977 --> 00:22:10,578
I would love to put a stop to
this,
467
00:22:10,612 --> 00:22:13,881
because I... I feel like my
appetites are out of control.
468
00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:15,665
I mean, I hunger
for it constantly.
469
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,455
And there is no limit
to how low I'll go.
470
00:22:20,489 --> 00:22:23,257
There's no chance I won't take.
471
00:22:23,291 --> 00:22:27,762
No fantasy I won't fulfill.
472
00:22:27,796 --> 00:22:32,066
My lust controls me
and that's why I'm here.
473
00:22:38,341 --> 00:22:43,144
So, you like Chinese food?
34441
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