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All language subtitles for Trump Orders Capture of Venezuelan President to Distract from the Epstein Files ｜ The Tonight Show [BelH_caW_GY]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,620 Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to The Tonight Show. You're 2 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:06,260 You made it. Thank you. 3 00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:11,180 Thank you for being here for our first show of 2026. 4 00:00:12,420 --> 00:00:18,620 Good luck to everyone who's made New Year's resolutions. 5 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:22,540 Yeah, some people want to lose weight while others want to gain Venezuela. 6 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:30,200 Yeah, the big news from this weekend is that... President Trump sent U .S. 7 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:34,040 troops into Venezuela to capture the country's president, Nicolas Maduro. 8 00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:37,900 Yep, the news took everyone by surprise when I heard there was an operation to 9 00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:41,140 extract a president. I just assumed Trump got stuck in his tanning bed. 10 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:45,760 Little help, little help. 11 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,880 Yeah, it turns out Trump's New Year's resolution was to distract everyone from 12 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:52,880 the Epstein files. 13 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:58,460 It was an odd weekend. For 48 hours, CNN had wall -to -wall coverage of Nicolas 14 00:00:58,460 --> 00:00:59,680 Maduro and Chevy Chase. 15 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:00,920 Very odd. 16 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:06,320 Yep, Trump ordered the operation without getting congressional approval, and he 17 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:08,520 watched it from a Mar -a -Lago situation room. 18 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:12,460 Ooh. Yeah, which means there's a chance Vanilla Ice knew about the mission 19 00:01:12,460 --> 00:01:13,460 before Congress did. 20 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:16,500 All right, stop. 21 00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:19,100 Collaborate and listen. 22 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,900 That's right, the Mar -a -Lago Situation Room. 23 00:01:24,180 --> 00:01:27,540 It's historic. It was the first war ever launched from a table next to an omelet 24 00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:28,540 bar. 25 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,520 Apparently, one of the reasons the White House ordered the capture is because 26 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:36,060 Maduro kept dancing in public, and Trump thought he was mocking him. 27 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,220 Yeah, Trump said he was one YMCA away from getting nuked. 28 00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:43,020 Meanwhile, 29 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:47,480 after Maduro was captured, Trump posted a photo of him on a plane in noise 30 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:50,580 -canceling headphones, blackout glasses, and gray sweats. Take a look. 31 00:01:52,539 --> 00:01:55,000 Yeah. Throw in a neck pillow, and that's me when I fly. 32 00:01:57,220 --> 00:02:00,540 Yep, the U .S. says shockwaves around the world with a surprise attack and 33 00:02:00,540 --> 00:02:04,220 capture of Venezuela's president. It's such a huge deal that President Trump 34 00:02:04,220 --> 00:02:07,100 actually agreed to join us right now for an interview about it. 35 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:11,220 Thank you for doing this. Mr. President, you just invaded a country and captured 36 00:02:11,220 --> 00:02:12,019 its leader. 37 00:02:12,020 --> 00:02:13,240 Which country was it again? 38 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,500 Venezuela. 39 00:02:16,860 --> 00:02:17,860 Close enough. 40 00:02:19,020 --> 00:02:22,280 You didn't get congressional approval before the strike. Is what you did 41 00:02:22,580 --> 00:02:23,820 No, no, no, no, no. 42 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,840 Is it just an attempt to distract everyone from the Epstein file? 43 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:29,120 Oh, yes, yes, yes. 44 00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:34,260 Well, I saw a picture of you during the mission, and you were watching a screen. 45 00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:35,480 What exactly were you watching? 46 00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:37,380 Stranger Things. Oh, yeah, that's good. 47 00:02:38,340 --> 00:02:43,200 I read that the CIA was tracking Maduro's location. If another country 48 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,580 tracking you, where would they look? 49 00:02:44,980 --> 00:02:46,460 Burger King, Wendy's. 50 00:02:47,130 --> 00:02:49,150 And McDonald's. Okay, of course, of course. 51 00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:53,250 Now, was the attack a warning to other nations, like, say, Saudi Arabia or 52 00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:58,270 Russia? Saudi Arabia and Russia will repeat... Last 53 00:02:58,270 --> 00:03:05,170 question. You say you want to run Venezuela. 54 00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:06,450 Do you even speak Spanish? 55 00:03:06,950 --> 00:03:10,070 El hombre del pelicuín. 56 00:03:10,310 --> 00:03:12,250 All right, thank you for your time. 57 00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:22,540 Well, with Trump announcing that the U .S. will temporarily run Venezuela, many 58 00:03:22,540 --> 00:03:26,460 are wondering what exactly the plan is. So far, it's been pretty hazy. So for 59 00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:29,560 more on this, we're joined by a member of Trump's team in charge of the plan, 60 00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:31,580 Ryan Beckett. Welcome to the show, Ryan. 61 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:38,040 So let's get right to it. What is the plan for Venezuela? 62 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,320 Whoa, whoa, whoa now. 63 00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:43,400 You're not even going to start by wishing me a Happy New Year? 64 00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:46,500 I just didn't think that was important. 65 00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:50,970 Everyone knows we are still in that window where you got to start by wishing 66 00:03:50,970 --> 00:03:52,290 person a Happy New Year. 67 00:03:53,370 --> 00:03:54,370 Fine. Okay. 68 00:03:54,570 --> 00:03:55,570 Happy New Year. 69 00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:57,230 Let's talk about the plan. 70 00:03:57,550 --> 00:03:58,550 Thank you. 71 00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:00,610 Same to you. 72 00:04:01,990 --> 00:04:03,230 You did have a good holiday? 73 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:10,270 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was good. Now, moving on. The plan. 74 00:04:10,730 --> 00:04:12,570 Yeah, well, I had a good one, too. 75 00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:14,660 Good holiday. 76 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:18,560 Spends it with the in -laws, so that was less of a vacation, more of a part 77 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:19,560 -time job. 78 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,660 Anyway, I should probably let you get back to the show. Take care. 79 00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:25,200 Wait, wait, no, no, no. 80 00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:29,600 You're here to discuss Trump's plan for Venezuela. That's what you're in charge 81 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:33,920 of. Jimmy, everyone knows 2025 was all about making plans. 82 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:40,480 2026 is more, it's a more chill year. You know, less planning, more just, you 83 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,300 know, living in the moment. I'm sorry if you can't handle that. 84 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,640 I can handle it. It just sounds like you're saying there isn't a plan. 85 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:54,800 That is ridiculous. We have a plan. We are going to go into the abyss. And 86 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:59,240 Eleven is going to face off against Vecna in the Mind Flayer. 87 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,820 That's the finale of Stranger Things. 88 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:03,500 Okay, okay, fine, fine. 89 00:05:03,740 --> 00:05:08,880 Let's do a little role -playing, okay? All right, just imagine that you are in 90 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,500 charge of coming up with a plan. 91 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:11,800 What would that plan be? Go. 92 00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:14,420 I don't know. 93 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:15,860 Wow, wow. 94 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:19,320 Breaking news. Jimmy Fallon has no plan for Venezuela. 95 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,580 That's not my job. That's your job. 96 00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:23,060 You want a job swap? 97 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,280 No, I want you to explain the plan for Venezuela. 98 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,520 Okay, the plan is... 99 00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:36,260 And that's the plan. 100 00:05:36,860 --> 00:05:39,660 Oh, my gosh. I just realized I muted myself. 101 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,180 We're not on Zoom. 102 00:05:41,460 --> 00:05:44,200 We have to move on. A member of Trump's Venezuela, Peter. 103 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,660 Waste of time. 104 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:48,560 Muted. 105 00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:56,520 Well, switching gears to some happy news. Today, IHOP launched bottomless 106 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:57,520 pancakes. 107 00:05:57,780 --> 00:06:01,840 Yep, bottomless pancakes. So far, the record is three pancakes. 108 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:12,600 Some more business news. 109 00:06:14,980 --> 00:06:18,000 How many pancakes did he eat? Three. 110 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,200 Filling. Some more business news. 111 00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:23,500 Ooh, this is interesting. 112 00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:24,419 What is it? 113 00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:25,420 What is it? 114 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:29,480 McDonald's is facing a lawsuit claiming that the McRib doesn't actually contain 115 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,480 rib meat. 116 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,900 It's strange. The McRib doesn't contain rib meat. However, the Filet -O -Fish 117 00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:35,900 does. 118 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,920 I feel like these jokes aren't going to work. 119 00:06:42,380 --> 00:06:43,420 It's the food portion. 120 00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:45,380 Yeah, it's the food portion of the monologue. 121 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,880 I'll read this one, but you won't have to laugh at it. Oh, come on. Yeah, the 122 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,060 lawsuit is full of people going, you mean this isn't an organic free -range 123 00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:53,060 McRib? 124 00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:04,160 And finally today, the first ever WeGoby pill was launched in the U .S. Oh. 125 00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:07,920 But this is where the pill comes in three flavors, barbecue, honey mustard, 126 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:08,920 ranch. There you go. 127 00:07:09,070 --> 00:07:13,290 We have a great show. What a show we have for you tonight. She's a very 128 00:07:13,290 --> 00:07:18,330 actress who stars as Mac in the giant Netflix show Stranger Things. The fifth 129 00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:20,010 and final season is streaming now. 130 00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:22,070 Sadie Sink is here tonight. 131 00:07:23,650 --> 00:07:24,730 This is great. 132 00:07:26,630 --> 00:07:30,230 Also on the show tonight, he's one of my favorites. He stars in the brand new 133 00:07:30,230 --> 00:07:35,130 show Best Medicine, which airs Tuesdays on Fox and streams the next day on Hulu. 134 00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:37,550 Josh Charles is joining us tonight. 135 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,180 And we got great music tonight from AJR! 136 00:07:47,380 --> 00:07:48,500 Fantastic show. 137 00:07:49,380 --> 00:07:53,060 Guys, life can be complicated, but it's not that hard to make it simple. In 138 00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:56,540 fact, everything can be broken down into three simple steps. I'll show you what 139 00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:58,120 I mean. It's time for three simple steps. 140 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,440 Three simple steps, yeah. 141 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:03,960 Three simple steps. 142 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:08,300 Okay, our first topic is taking down your Christmas lights. 143 00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:11,820 All right, let's break it down into three simple steps. Step one, get a 144 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,400 Step two, balance it on the side of your house. 145 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,680 Step three, have an ambulance waiting in the driveway to take dad to the 146 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,900 hospital. Three simple steps. 147 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,720 Up next, we have going to the dentist. 148 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,920 Step one, find a dentist. 149 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:27,820 Step two, make an appointment. 150 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,520 Step three, floss till you bleed so you're technically not lying when they 151 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:32,520 you if you floss. 152 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:34,320 Easy. We're done. 153 00:08:36,010 --> 00:08:41,409 Up next, we have copying a document at work. Step one, press copy. Step two, 154 00:08:41,630 --> 00:08:42,730 read toner low. 155 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:45,890 Step three, walk away and let someone else deal with it. 156 00:08:48,030 --> 00:08:52,770 Up next, we have ordering at a restaurant. 157 00:08:53,070 --> 00:08:57,310 Step one, the waiter asks if you're ready. Step two, telling you just need a 158 00:08:57,310 --> 00:09:00,870 minute. Step three, spend the next 45 minutes wondering if your waiter moved 159 00:09:00,870 --> 00:09:01,870 another country. 160 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,510 Pit of order. 161 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,840 Up next, we have buying a house. 162 00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:12,740 Step one, go on Zillow. Step two, type in your budget. Step three, close your 163 00:09:12,740 --> 00:09:14,160 laptop and walk into the ocean. 164 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,980 Up next, we have recycling. 165 00:09:20,340 --> 00:09:24,880 Step one, gather your items. Step two, spend time carefully separating plastic, 166 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:26,420 glass, metal, and paper. 167 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,320 Step three, watch the garbage man chuck it all into the same truck. 168 00:09:32,590 --> 00:09:35,730 And finally, we have avoiding stranger things spoilers. 169 00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:38,090 Step one, stay off TikTok. 170 00:09:38,330 --> 00:09:43,310 Step two, okay, maybe just a little TikTok won't hurt. Step three, damn it! 171 00:09:43,310 --> 00:09:46,630 right, well, that's all the time we have for three simple steps. We'll be right 172 00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:49,170 back with Sadie Sink, everybody. Come on back! 13831