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1
00:00:01,351 --> 00:00:04,052
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,822 --> 00:00:08,290
Oh, Sammy, look who's here.
3
00:00:08,358 --> 00:00:09,592
Harry the Hat.
4
00:00:09,659 --> 00:00:10,799
Aw, man, how many times
5
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,995
am I gonna have to chase
that guy out of here?
6
00:00:12,996 --> 00:00:15,331
Grab your wallets, everybody.
7
00:00:15,398 --> 00:00:17,366
Hello, Harry. Hey, Sam.
8
00:00:17,367 --> 00:00:19,985
What you doing, trying to
sell some bogus watches,
9
00:00:19,986 --> 00:00:22,588
some knock off's to my customers
and try to cheat 'em?
10
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,123
Sam, that hurts.
11
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,375
This is no knock off.
That's a $5,000 Rolex.
12
00:00:26,442 --> 00:00:28,294
But it's on sale for $2,500.
13
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,930
Is this a real Rolex, Harry?
Yeah.
14
00:00:30,997 --> 00:00:32,798
Whoa.
15
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,669
Hey. Sounds like a
Rolex, doesn't it?
16
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,971
Oh, look at that-
still ticking, too.
17
00:00:39,038 --> 00:00:41,607
Uh, Sam...
18
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:42,558
Hey, do me a favour.
19
00:00:42,559 --> 00:00:44,026
Just, just take your bogus goods
20
00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:45,728
and peddle them
someplace else, will ya?
21
00:00:45,729 --> 00:00:48,259
So Harry, are you interested
in buying the watch?
22
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:52,067
No, but I think my
friend Sam might be.
23
00:01:00,009 --> 00:01:02,345
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
24
00:01:02,412 --> 00:01:05,514
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
25
00:01:05,582 --> 00:01:08,184
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
26
00:01:08,252 --> 00:01:11,653
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
27
00:01:11,721 --> 00:01:15,524
♪ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ♪
28
00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:18,961
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
29
00:01:19,062 --> 00:01:23,449
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
30
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:29,355
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
31
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,624
♪ You wanna be
where you can see ♪
32
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:34,193
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
33
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:38,497
♪ You wanna be where
everybody knows your name ♪
34
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,667
♪ You wanna go
where people know ♪
35
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:44,904
♪ People are all the same ♪
36
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:49,542
♪ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
37
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,311
All right. All right.
38
00:02:08,312 --> 00:02:10,313
But now, the band I'm looking
for is gonna have to be able
39
00:02:10,314 --> 00:02:11,781
to do all
the old Irish standards.
40
00:02:11,782 --> 00:02:14,500
Yeah. "Danny Boy," "Galway Bay,"
41
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,752
"When Irish Eyes Are Smiling,"
that kind of thing.
42
00:02:16,753 --> 00:02:18,537
You think you can handle that?
43
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,072
All right then.
44
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,941
Okay, I'll get back to you.
45
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,476
Yeah, adios to you too, Manuel.
46
00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:30,583
Oh, well, I see
you're getting an early jump
47
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,251
on Saint Patrick's Day.
48
00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:33,319
Yeah. That's right.
49
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,753
You know, this time tomorrow
50
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:36,489
when Gary's still decorating
Olde Towne Tavern,
51
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,991
this place's gonna be open,
people are gonna be flooding in.
52
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,222
That's a good idea, Sam.
You're damned right.
53
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:44,129
Hey, finally, for the first
time, St. Patrick's Day,
54
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:45,865
Cheers is gonna do more business
55
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,299
than Gary's Olde Towne Tavern.
56
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,468
Yes! Yes!
57
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:50,937
I wouldn't be too
sure about that.
58
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,205
He's beaten you
ten years running.
59
00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:53,656
I know but I've got a feeling.
60
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,674
You know, lucky 11?
61
00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:57,693
We can't lose
this time, Dr. Crane.
62
00:02:57,694 --> 00:02:59,262
We're pulling out all the stops.
63
00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:01,364
We've got, a two
for one special,
64
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:04,667
we've got balloons,
we've got a live Irish band,
65
00:03:04,734 --> 00:03:08,570
we've got Mr. Peterson
mixing up some green beer.
66
00:03:08,638 --> 00:03:11,107
Oh, hey, how's that
beer coming, Norm?
67
00:03:11,175 --> 00:03:13,942
You want it fast or
you want it good?
68
00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:16,779
Come on, you've been working
on it for three hours.
69
00:03:16,847 --> 00:03:20,016
And I'm prepared to work on it
all night long, Sam,
70
00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:22,551
because damn it, I care.
71
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,170
Normie, watch this.
72
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,839
Hey, Carla. You-you through in there?
73
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,717
Hold your horses. I'm coming.
74
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,817
Shut up, everybody.
75
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:38,934
Hey, look, everybody.
76
00:03:38,935 --> 00:03:42,404
It's our little
leprechaun, Brill O'Head.
77
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:47,009
Keep talking, Clavin, you'll
lose your left Blarney Stone.
78
00:03:47,077 --> 00:03:49,128
This outfit is ridiculous.
79
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,796
I mean, I want to beat Gary
80
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:54,033
as much as the next guy,
but I'm not wearing this, okay?
81
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,635
I think it kind of looks nice.
82
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:58,254
Yeah, I think it
looks kind of sexy. That's it.
83
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,091
Please, please.
84
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:04,844
Hey, everybody,
I've got great news.
85
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,713
I applied to the Boston
League of Businesswomen,
86
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,297
and they might let me join.
87
00:04:08,365 --> 00:04:09,532
Oh, who are they?
88
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,000
Oh, it's this very
prestigious organization
89
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:14,036
that helps raise the stature
of women in society...
90
00:04:14,037 --> 00:04:16,622
and that kind of crap.
91
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,020
Sam, I need a couple hours
92
00:04:18,021 --> 00:04:20,109
off tomorrow because
they want to interview me.
93
00:04:20,110 --> 00:04:22,311
Honey, it's the
busiest day of my year.
94
00:04:22,312 --> 00:04:23,579
What difference does it make?
95
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:24,947
She doesn't do anything anyway.
96
00:04:24,948 --> 00:04:27,250
You know what?
97
00:04:27,251 --> 00:04:28,884
Why don't you take
the whole day off?
98
00:04:28,885 --> 00:04:31,954
You're a peach.
99
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:33,189
Hi, everybody.
100
00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:37,810
What the hell do you
want here, Gary?
101
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,895
Well, you know, in the spirit
of Saint Patrick's Day,
102
00:04:39,896 --> 00:04:42,197
I thought I'd come over here and
give you guys a chance
103
00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,458
to call off our little bet
104
00:04:43,459 --> 00:04:45,067
and, uh, save yourselves
the supreme humiliation.
105
00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:47,086
I'll tell you what, Gary,
106
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,355
we're gonna win this
lousy bet this year.
107
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,473
Not only that, we're gonna make
ten times more money than you.
108
00:04:51,474 --> 00:04:53,309
And you know why?
Because we've got a strategy.
109
00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:55,895
Well, you know, if you're so
sure of yourself, Malone,
110
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,763
maybe you'd like to raise
the stakes a little bit
111
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,665
and make it more interesting
than the usual 100 bucks?
112
00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,333
What you got in mind?
113
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:03,719
Oh, just a little something
that the loser has to do.
114
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,454
What are you doing?
115
00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:10,292
Oh, I don't know, Gary, uh...
116
00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:13,028
Well, okay well,
if you're going to be chicken about it.
117
00:05:13,029 --> 00:05:15,280
Oh, I'm not being chicken,
because we're gonna win anyway.
118
00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:18,100
So, we've got a deal?
119
00:05:18,101 --> 00:05:19,485
Uh, all right. All right.
Yeah, yeah.
120
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:22,288
But wait a minute, what is the,
uh, what are the ground rules?
121
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:24,507
Malone, there's only
one rule, no rules.
122
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,826
Just the way I like it. Great.
123
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,844
May the best man win.
124
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:31,414
Sam, may I have
a word with you? Yeah.
125
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:33,081
I strongly urge you
to reconsider.
126
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:35,584
Listen, why do you think Gary's
so willing to up the stakes?
127
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,421
I mean, it stands to
reason that he thinks he's going to win.
128
00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:39,455
No, no, he's bluffing.
129
00:05:39,456 --> 00:05:40,776
What makes you think that?
130
00:05:40,824 --> 00:05:43,025
Well he-he's beaten us
ten times in a row.
131
00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,695
And not one of those times
has he raised the stakes.
132
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,163
He's running scared.
133
00:05:48,231 --> 00:05:52,234
Well, don't I feel stupid.
134
00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:55,971
All those degrees really don't
do much, do they, Doctor?
135
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:02,428
Sammy, what's up?
136
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:04,597
I thought you wanted to get
an early jump on Gary.
137
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,465
Yeah, I did. That's
why I'm here at 9:00.
138
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:07,516
9:01, Sam.
139
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,135
Some of us were here at 9:00.
140
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:11,104
Hey, relax, will you.
It's in the bag.
141
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:13,889
I fixed it so Gary
can't ever win.
142
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,624
Yeah? Yeah? What'd you do?
143
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,393
Yeah, you're gonna love this.
You know that-that sign
144
00:06:17,394 --> 00:06:18,694
he's got outside
his window there,
145
00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:20,162
"50 cent beer,
Saint Patrick's Day Special?"
146
00:06:20,163 --> 00:06:21,997
Yeah. Yeah, well I added a zero.
147
00:06:21,998 --> 00:06:24,400
I mean who's going to pay
$5 for a beer, huh?
148
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,235
Good one, Sam. Yeah.
149
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,237
Sometimes I scare myself.
150
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,039
It's 9:02, Sam. Let's go.
151
00:06:30,106 --> 00:06:32,158
All right. Sorry.
152
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,159
$5 beer.
153
00:06:35,278 --> 00:06:36,745
Yeah, let's see him top that.
154
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:46,271
See now, that, that's not right.
155
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,857
Gary did it to us again.
156
00:06:48,925 --> 00:06:52,595
Walled off from the keg.
157
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,364
I want him dead, Sam.
158
00:06:55,432 --> 00:06:56,632
His family, dead.
159
00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,434
His friends, dead!
160
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,053
Oh, now see, this, this is,
161
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:03,289
this is the lowest thing
a person can do.
162
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:04,556
This is pure evil.
163
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:05,674
Yeah.
164
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,843
Why can't we think like that?
165
00:07:07,910 --> 00:07:09,545
Tell me about it.
166
00:07:09,613 --> 00:07:12,898
I thought you left Woody here to
guard against things like this.
167
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:15,436
Sorry, Sam. I fell asleep.
168
00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:22,842
They walled Woody in the bar.
169
00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,695
Woody, you all right in there?
170
00:07:26,763 --> 00:07:29,631
Well, I'm feeling
light-headed and woozy, Sam.
171
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,417
That's the way I want to feel.
172
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,352
Somebody tear this thing down!
173
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,110
New Armani, new hair.
174
00:07:41,178 --> 00:07:44,780
Am I ready for the Boston League
of Businesswomen or what?
175
00:07:44,847 --> 00:07:48,417
I just have to get my resume
and then I'm on my way.
176
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:57,076
Is this in any way my fault?
177
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,744
No, sweetheart.
178
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,263
Okay then wish me luck. Bye-bye.
179
00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:07,319
Yep. Crisis solved.
180
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:08,971
Where'd you get the beer?
181
00:08:09,038 --> 00:08:12,168
I've got a few squirrelled away
around the bar for emergencies.
182
00:08:12,169 --> 00:08:15,077
I always kind of figured it
would be a nuclear thing,
183
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:17,145
but I think this qualifies.
184
00:08:21,384 --> 00:08:23,719
Where would you like us
to set up, Mr. Malone?
185
00:08:23,787 --> 00:08:25,287
Oh, hi. fellows.
186
00:08:25,355 --> 00:08:27,523
Uh... uh, yeah, why not?
187
00:08:27,524 --> 00:08:28,957
I'll tell you what,
right over there.
188
00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:30,091
Thank you very much...
189
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:31,160
Hey, come on, Norm, Carla,
190
00:08:31,161 --> 00:08:32,628
listen we can still win
this thing, right?
191
00:08:32,629 --> 00:08:34,530
We, we've got
the green beer, we've got the band.
192
00:08:34,531 --> 00:08:36,765
All we've got to do is
get rid of this wall somehow
193
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,501
and hustle like
there's no tomorrow.
194
00:08:38,502 --> 00:08:41,670
All we need is, uh, well, a little
winning attitude, right? There you go.
195
00:08:41,671 --> 00:08:43,139
A little positivity.
Hey, fellas,
196
00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,940
do me a favour,
play us a little something
197
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,708
to get us in the mood. Yeah.
198
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:50,712
♪ They broke
into our Dublin home ♪
199
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:53,482
♪ The dirty English dogs ♪
200
00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:55,917
♪ They took away my sister ♪
201
00:08:55,985 --> 00:08:58,954
♪ And they beat my
da with logs ♪
202
00:08:59,022 --> 00:09:01,790
♪ Limey scum, limey scum ♪
203
00:09:01,858 --> 00:09:04,927
♪ I toss a bomb
and still they come... ♪
204
00:09:04,994 --> 00:09:06,228
Everybody.
205
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:09,064
♪ Limey scum, limey scum... ♪
206
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:16,104
♪ And everywhere I looked ♪
207
00:09:16,172 --> 00:09:19,942
♪ Was death, death, death ♪
208
00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:22,277
♪ Everywhere I looked ♪
209
00:09:22,345 --> 00:09:25,113
♪ Was death, death, death. ♪
210
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:34,373
And now, for a sad song.
211
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:40,195
♪ 'Twas a baby's crib
that floated... ♪
212
00:09:40,263 --> 00:09:41,931
No! No! No! No! No baby's crib!
213
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,265
Stop it.
214
00:09:43,266 --> 00:09:45,000
Here, get the hell
out of here, will you?
215
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,535
Take your money. Go on, get out.
216
00:09:46,603 --> 00:09:48,403
Go to hell.
217
00:09:52,876 --> 00:09:54,960
Let's face it; It's over, huh?
218
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,630
Might as well tally up and
see what we've got there.
219
00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,181
Yeah, Woody, what's the total?
220
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:02,984
Well...
221
00:10:03,052 --> 00:10:06,054
$1 million,
five hundred thousand.
222
00:10:06,122 --> 00:10:08,457
Decimal point, Woody.
223
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:11,943
Oh. Hold everything.
224
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,145
$150 even.
225
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,516
Hey guys, bad news.
226
00:10:17,583 --> 00:10:19,084
I just came from Gary's.
227
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,353
He's raking in the money,
hand over fist.
228
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,888
And then again why shouldn't he?
229
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:24,879
I mean, he's charging
five bucks a beer.
230
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,944
Looks like we lost again.
231
00:10:28,945 --> 00:10:31,063
Well, Sammy, guess you're
gonna have to fork over
232
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,731
that 150 to Gary.
233
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:36,384
Uh, actually, we
raised the stakes, remember fellas?
234
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:37,737
Oh, yeah, how much
do you have to pay?
235
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,421
Well, it's, it's not money.
236
00:10:39,489 --> 00:10:42,157
It's uh, it's more like
a, a little favour, actually.
237
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,992
Oh yeah? What is it?
238
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,596
It's, it's something
that people do everyday.
239
00:10:47,664 --> 00:10:49,865
Uh, uh, I'm going to,
uh, need, uh,
240
00:10:49,933 --> 00:10:52,067
you three guys
to help me out here.
241
00:10:52,135 --> 00:10:55,203
Hey, just once I'd like
to be included, huh?
242
00:10:55,271 --> 00:10:56,839
All right, Paul, you're in.
243
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,074
Thank you. Thanks,
I owe you Sammy.
244
00:10:59,142 --> 00:11:01,876
Well, what do we have to do?
245
00:11:01,944 --> 00:11:04,663
Uh, it's no big
thing, really, Norm.
246
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:08,383
We've just got to go over
to Gary's and...
247
00:11:08,451 --> 00:11:09,885
What?
248
00:11:09,953 --> 00:11:11,387
Uh, it's no big deal.
249
00:11:11,454 --> 00:11:14,423
Fellas, all we've got
to do is, is let him.
250
00:11:16,493 --> 00:11:19,495
What?
Just get your coats and follow me.
251
00:11:19,562 --> 00:11:21,096
I'll tell you on the way over.
252
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,498
Hey, Sam, what's the big deal.
253
00:11:22,499 --> 00:11:24,667
Why don't you just tell us
what we have to do?
254
00:11:24,668 --> 00:11:25,901
All right, you got to...
255
00:11:42,294 --> 00:11:45,036
Well, what do you think?
256
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,472
Well, let's get it over with.
257
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,307
Yeah, yeah, all right, Gary.
Go on. Go on. Go on.
258
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:51,510
Okay, I want to see
some big smiles.
259
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,346
Ladies and gentlemen,
260
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:58,049
Gary's Olde Towne Tavern has the
privilege of presenting an act
261
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:01,386
so humiliating, so embarrassing,
so degrading
262
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,722
that it could only happen
to the men of Cheers!
263
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,157
Let's hear it for them!
264
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:11,630
Gentlemen?
265
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,054
Whoo! Whoo!
266
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,254
And three, and four, and...
267
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:39,825
♪ Getting to know you ♪
268
00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:43,712
♪ Getting
to know all about you ♪
269
00:12:43,779 --> 00:12:49,734
♪ Getting to like you,
hoping that you like me ♪
270
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:52,487
♪ Haven't you noticed? ♪
271
00:12:52,555 --> 00:12:57,492
♪ Suddenly I'm bright
and breezy ♪
272
00:12:57,560 --> 00:13:04,383
♪ Because of all the beautiful
and new things ♪
273
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:07,969
♪ I'm learning about you ♪
274
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:13,708
♪ Day by day. ♪
275
00:13:21,683 --> 00:13:25,120
It was the low point in my life.
276
00:13:25,187 --> 00:13:30,325
Never ever have I been naked
and not had fun.
277
00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:34,512
I tell you it was degradation.
278
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:37,382
I thought we were
a lot tighter the second show.
279
00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:42,471
How am I ever gonna show my face
in here again?
280
00:13:42,538 --> 00:13:45,356
Paul, it's not your
face that's burned into my memory.
281
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:51,246
You know, I kind of found
the whole thing,
282
00:13:51,313 --> 00:13:53,481
uh, quite exhilarating.
283
00:13:54,851 --> 00:13:56,200
Exhilarating?
284
00:13:56,268 --> 00:14:00,138
I meant humiliating.
285
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:02,907
It was really humiliating.
286
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:06,611
Uh, guys, you've been really
good to me,
287
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,146
so I'm gonna be good to you.
288
00:14:08,213 --> 00:14:09,280
You need a finish.
289
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,900
Yeah, that's real funny.
290
00:14:11,968 --> 00:14:13,317
That's real funny stuff.
291
00:14:13,318 --> 00:14:14,886
I'll tell you something, man.
292
00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:17,155
I'm gonna get you-I don't
care how long it takes,
293
00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:19,424
how much money it costs,
how many lives are lost,
294
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,893
I'm gonna get you, Gary,
once and for all.
295
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:23,060
Oh, I hope not
296
00:14:23,061 --> 00:14:24,696
because I'm still shaking
from that terrifying
297
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:25,864
five-dollar-beer prank.
298
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:29,133
Yeah, well, I'm still
gonna get you.
299
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,835
Sammy, let's just give it up.
300
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:32,120
No! Never!
301
00:14:32,188 --> 00:14:34,022
I tell you
I'm gonna get that guy.
302
00:14:34,089 --> 00:14:35,840
I don't give a...
Oh, you know...
303
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:38,410
Oh, yes, yes-yes-yes.
304
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,645
There's one guy who can help us
out here, fellows.
305
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,247
I'm calling in Harry the Hat.
306
00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:48,352
You know, my underwear's
a little tight.
307
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,322
It's funny, mine's
a little loose.
308
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:57,879
Let me get this straight.
309
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,314
Over the years, Gary has put
sheep in your office,
310
00:15:00,315 --> 00:15:02,851
had exterminators shut you down,
311
00:15:02,852 --> 00:15:04,453
and then yesterday
he built a brick wall
312
00:15:04,454 --> 00:15:07,055
around the bar
and had you perform naked?
313
00:15:07,122 --> 00:15:09,774
Listen, we need your help bad.
314
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,144
I'm sorry, Sam,
I'm not interested.
315
00:15:12,195 --> 00:15:13,979
Oh, all right, fine. Fine, Harr.
316
00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:15,096
What is your price?
317
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:16,744
No, I don't want
your money, Sam.
318
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,017
Besides, if I did,
I could take it.
319
00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:21,336
I kind of like you guys.
320
00:15:21,371 --> 00:15:24,973
So let me give you a piece of
advice: stop trying to top Gary.
321
00:15:24,974 --> 00:15:26,208
You're never gonna beat him.
322
00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:28,643
Face it.
You're a bunch of losers.
323
00:15:30,546 --> 00:15:31,986
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
324
00:15:31,987 --> 00:15:33,164
It's your nature you know?
325
00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:34,633
It's the way God made you.
326
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:35,850
You're part of his master plan.
327
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,318
If it weren't for you guys,
328
00:15:37,386 --> 00:15:39,787
how would we know
who the winners were?
329
00:15:41,591 --> 00:15:43,792
No, we're not losers.
330
00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,549
All right, fine,
have it your way.
331
00:15:45,594 --> 00:15:47,228
Woody, give me a beer, huh?
332
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:48,730
Sure.
333
00:15:48,731 --> 00:15:50,498
Yeah, but don't
forget to charge him, Woody.
334
00:15:50,499 --> 00:15:51,699
Get some money out of him.
335
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:52,834
Yeah, all right, all right.
336
00:15:52,835 --> 00:15:54,105
What do I owe you, Woody?
337
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,836
Well, that'll be two dollars.
338
00:15:55,837 --> 00:15:57,239
Hey, you know, I got
a lot of change here.
339
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,108
Will you take all this
and give me a 20?
340
00:15:59,109 --> 00:16:00,892
Well, you know,
341
00:16:00,943 --> 00:16:02,243
be careful of that Woody.
342
00:16:02,311 --> 00:16:03,361
I think he's pulling
343
00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:04,746
his flimflam
short change thing here.
344
00:16:04,747 --> 00:16:05,747
Really?
345
00:16:05,748 --> 00:16:06,915
Yeah, yeah. Count the money.
346
00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:10,318
Oh... oh, this isn't right.
347
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:11,536
Aha. Yeah, see?
348
00:16:11,603 --> 00:16:12,871
You gave me too much.
349
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:13,939
Huh?
350
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,106
That's your tip, Woody.
351
00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:17,325
Oh, no, I'm not falling
for that.
352
00:16:17,392 --> 00:16:20,361
I'll just keep
the two dollars for the beer.
353
00:16:20,430 --> 00:16:22,848
Yeah. See, Harry?
354
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:25,183
We're not as stupid
as you think we are.
355
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:26,331
No, I guess you're not.
356
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,253
Here's your wallet, Cliff.
357
00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:34,792
Wow, he's good. Very good.
358
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,561
Aw, who are we kidding,
you guys?
359
00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:38,129
We might as well just quit.
360
00:16:38,147 --> 00:16:41,349
Hey, wait, wait a minute.
What are you saying?
361
00:16:41,416 --> 00:16:43,417
You mean after
Gary's done to us,
362
00:16:43,418 --> 00:16:45,186
you're just gonna roll over
and die?
363
00:16:45,187 --> 00:16:46,387
You're gonna walk away?
364
00:16:46,388 --> 00:16:47,906
You're gonna be a quitter, Sam?
365
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,991
Yeah, Carla, that's exactly what
I'm gonna do.
366
00:16:49,992 --> 00:16:52,194
I'm gonna quit!
I'm tired of losing to the guy.
367
00:16:52,195 --> 00:16:53,494
Tomorrow I'm gonna go
over there.
368
00:16:53,495 --> 00:16:56,097
I'm gonna make my peace with him
once and for all.
369
00:16:56,165 --> 00:16:57,599
Well, go.
370
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,467
But I'm not lettin' him
off the hook.
371
00:16:59,468 --> 00:17:00,702
This is personal now.
372
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,704
And I don't know what,
I don't know,
373
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:05,172
but I swear I am gonna do
something to that guy.
374
00:17:05,173 --> 00:17:06,608
Look, Carla,
we're willing to give in.
375
00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:07,942
You should, too.
376
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,978
It's not like you had
to dance naked over there.
377
00:17:09,979 --> 00:17:12,947
No, but I had to look at it
on videotape.
378
00:17:12,982 --> 00:17:16,885
Gary's selling videotapes?
379
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:20,305
No, He's giving them away
with every five-dollar beer.
380
00:17:24,693 --> 00:17:27,495
Can you believe it?
The League rejected me.
381
00:17:27,563 --> 00:17:28,663
Why?
382
00:17:28,731 --> 00:17:30,901
Because they said I was
too self-involved
383
00:17:30,902 --> 00:17:32,533
and that I wasn't
community-minded enough.
384
00:17:32,534 --> 00:17:35,003
So now I have to spend
the next six months
385
00:17:35,071 --> 00:17:38,139
doing community service. Yawn.
386
00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:40,124
Woody, get me a charity
on the phone.
387
00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:41,242
Which one?
388
00:17:41,259 --> 00:17:42,860
How the hell do I know?!
389
00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:45,279
Just make sure it's close by.
390
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,966
And I don't want one
that's real depressing.
391
00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:51,035
And no weekends!
392
00:18:22,084 --> 00:18:24,185
Oh! Oh!
393
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:28,656
Oh, God! Oh, God!
394
00:18:28,724 --> 00:18:31,959
Oh, God!
395
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,644
Oh, Carla!
396
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,520
Carla!
397
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:45,173
I just came back from Gary's!
398
00:18:45,174 --> 00:18:47,141
Wha, what were you thinking?!
399
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:48,743
Are you crazy?!
400
00:18:48,744 --> 00:18:50,645
I really got him good,
didn't I, Sam?
401
00:18:50,646 --> 00:18:51,880
Got him good?
402
00:18:51,947 --> 00:18:53,937
Honey, we're in
serious trouble here!
403
00:18:53,983 --> 00:18:56,217
What are you talking about?
404
00:18:56,285 --> 00:18:58,253
Malone!
You went way too far this time.
405
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,021
You're gonna go to jail
for this!
406
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,707
I swear to God, Gare, we had
nothing to do with this.
407
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,108
Wha-what are you talking about?
408
00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:05,677
Just yesterday, you swore
in front of witnesses that,
409
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,963
that you were gonna ruin me.
You said you'd do anything!
410
00:19:07,964 --> 00:19:09,697
That's true, Sam. I was there.
411
00:19:09,765 --> 00:19:12,099
What the hell
were you thinking, Malone?
412
00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:13,735
Did you think you were
gonna get away with this?!
413
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,153
Well, forget about it.
I'm gonna call the cops.
414
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,337
The cops?!
415
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:17,488
Wait a minute!
416
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,123
Putting a rat
in a heating system
417
00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:20,591
isn't even a misdemeanour!
418
00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:23,612
Carla, sweetheart, please,
you're just making things worse.
419
00:19:23,613 --> 00:19:25,446
My, my bar is ruined!
420
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,849
Please, man, don't bring
the cops into this.
421
00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:29,216
Listen, I-I'm begging you.
422
00:19:29,217 --> 00:19:30,718
I'm on my knees here.
423
00:19:30,786 --> 00:19:32,020
No, you're not.
424
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,257
Oh...
425
00:19:38,794 --> 00:19:40,361
Please...
426
00:19:40,428 --> 00:19:42,964
Oh, and this is supposed
to be enough?
427
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:46,684
Help me out here, will ya?
Come on.
428
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,920
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
429
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:57,078
Sam! Ha-ha, I gotcha!
That's news.
430
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,415
What's, what's going on here?
431
00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:02,116
You fell for it. It was a trick.
432
00:20:02,184 --> 00:20:03,318
What is a trick?
433
00:20:03,385 --> 00:20:05,252
I saw your bar being bulldozed!
434
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:07,538
Somebody bulldozed your bar?
435
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:09,206
I bulldozed my bar.
436
00:20:09,207 --> 00:20:11,275
You see, I sold my property
to a commercial developer,
437
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,144
and he's going to put a shopping
centre on my old spot.
438
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,746
I'm getting a million bucks
for it.
439
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,013
But the best part is,
440
00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:18,483
you guys have humiliated
yourselves at the feet
441
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:21,018
of the master one last time.
442
00:20:21,037 --> 00:20:22,904
Yeah, well, the joke's on you.
443
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,806
We happen to need a shopping
centre in this area.
444
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:28,292
Sam, I hope you don't mind,
445
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:30,061
but since I don't have
a bar anymore,
446
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,963
I invited the developer
over here to, you know,
447
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,132
help me celebrate.
448
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:45,059
Sam, I'd like you to
meet your new neighbour,
449
00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:46,828
Rutherford Cunningham.
450
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,363
Real nice place you have here.
451
00:20:48,364 --> 00:20:51,065
Nice to meet you.
452
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:52,533
Sam, is it?
453
00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:54,402
Yeah.
454
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:56,237
A bottle of your
finest champagne.
455
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:58,639
Cheers.
456
00:20:58,641 --> 00:21:00,992
Oh, Gary, uh, phone for you,
the bank.
457
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:03,811
Oh, yeah. Sam, do you mind
if I take that in your office?
458
00:21:03,812 --> 00:21:05,380
It's big business,
that sort of thing.
459
00:21:05,381 --> 00:21:07,498
Sure.
460
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:10,985
Bank's not used
to million-dollar deposits.
461
00:21:11,053 --> 00:21:14,005
So, Sam!
It's good to see you again.
462
00:21:14,072 --> 00:21:17,324
Now what's that I heard about
the finest champagne?
463
00:21:17,392 --> 00:21:19,060
Did you do this?
464
00:21:19,127 --> 00:21:21,546
Did you, did you destroy
his bar?
465
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,032
No, I didn't. Gary did.
466
00:21:24,099 --> 00:21:26,333
He's the one hired
the bulldozer.
467
00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:28,536
Me? I'm just an interested
land developer
468
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,972
who's gonna come up a little
short on funds...
469
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:35,443
say about a million bucks short.
470
00:21:35,510 --> 00:21:39,413
I have the same problem
with a decimal point.
471
00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:43,368
Excuse me.
472
00:21:43,435 --> 00:21:46,404
I believe that's the sound
of my check bouncing.
473
00:21:47,672 --> 00:21:49,840
Mr. Cunningham?
474
00:21:49,908 --> 00:21:53,878
Uh, where's, uh, Mr. Cunningham?
475
00:21:53,929 --> 00:21:55,313
Uh, he left.
476
00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:57,215
Uh, why, Gary?
477
00:21:57,349 --> 00:21:59,200
Uh, no reason.
478
00:22:00,588 --> 00:22:02,603
Oh, man!
479
00:22:02,604 --> 00:22:04,472
Oh, you are terrific!
480
00:22:10,479 --> 00:22:13,630
If you guys ever need any more
help, you just give me a call.
481
00:22:13,698 --> 00:22:15,299
Oh, thank you, Harry.
482
00:22:15,367 --> 00:22:16,767
Ah, don't mention it.
483
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:19,703
I guess I've always had
a soft spot for you lunkheads.
484
00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,989
Hey, how are we ever
gonna pay you back?
485
00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:25,392
Sam, you already have.
486
00:22:25,461 --> 00:22:27,762
Aw, what a guy, huh?
487
00:22:27,797 --> 00:22:28,997
Wonder what he meant by,
488
00:22:29,064 --> 00:22:31,054
we already have
paid him back, though?
489
00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:32,200
Oh, I don't know.
490
00:22:32,201 --> 00:22:34,969
You know, probably that warm
spirit, the camaraderie,
491
00:22:34,970 --> 00:22:36,337
something like that.
492
00:22:36,405 --> 00:22:38,973
Yeah, yeah, he stole
all my money.
35500
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