Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,261 --> 00:00:04,029
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,098 --> 00:00:05,998
Hey, Sam. Sorry I'm late.
3
00:00:06,066 --> 00:00:08,000
Had to stop at the drug store.
4
00:00:08,052 --> 00:00:09,952
That's okay, Woody. Yep.
5
00:00:10,021 --> 00:00:13,023
Had to make another embarrassing
trip to the drug store
6
00:00:13,090 --> 00:00:15,591
to get a little, uh...
7
00:00:15,659 --> 00:00:17,960
Protection? Yeah.
8
00:00:18,029 --> 00:00:20,830
You know, Kelly and I want
to have a family and all,
9
00:00:20,831 --> 00:00:23,533
but we figured we'd
wait until after that raise you promised.
10
00:00:23,534 --> 00:00:26,336
Hope you got a lot
of protection.
11
00:00:26,337 --> 00:00:28,521
Well, as usual, you know,
I'm a little embarrassed
12
00:00:28,522 --> 00:00:30,190
and nervous when I go in there,
13
00:00:30,257 --> 00:00:32,192
so I buy a whole bunch of stuff
14
00:00:32,193 --> 00:00:34,227
so it doesn't look
like I'm just trying
15
00:00:34,228 --> 00:00:35,761
to get some... you know.
16
00:00:35,830 --> 00:00:36,930
Protection.
17
00:00:36,997 --> 00:00:40,433
Yeah. So I got some
paper plates...
18
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,902
batteries, flashbulbs,
19
00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:45,305
Skol...
20
00:00:45,372 --> 00:00:47,974
some gum...
21
00:00:48,042 --> 00:00:51,811
Chia Pet...
22
00:00:51,879 --> 00:00:53,947
oh, eyeglass repair kit...
23
00:00:54,014 --> 00:00:56,149
Yeah.
24
00:00:56,217 --> 00:00:58,584
Oh, notebook paper...
25
00:00:58,686 --> 00:01:01,220
and... VO5.
26
00:01:01,288 --> 00:01:02,822
Where's the, uh...
27
00:01:02,890 --> 00:01:04,857
where's the protection?
28
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:11,547
See you in about an hour, Sam.
29
00:01:18,805 --> 00:01:21,090
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
30
00:01:21,158 --> 00:01:24,177
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
31
00:01:24,244 --> 00:01:26,946
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
32
00:01:27,014 --> 00:01:30,416
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
33
00:01:30,484 --> 00:01:33,186
♪ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ♪
34
00:01:35,522 --> 00:01:38,258
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
35
00:01:38,325 --> 00:01:41,193
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
36
00:01:43,697 --> 00:01:46,632
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
37
00:01:48,268 --> 00:01:50,670
♪ You wanna be
where you can see ♪
38
00:01:50,738 --> 00:01:53,239
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
39
00:01:53,306 --> 00:01:56,976
♪ You wanna be where
everybody knows your name ♪
40
00:01:58,612 --> 00:02:01,096
♪ You wanna go
where people know ♪
41
00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:03,783
♪ People are all the same ♪
42
00:02:03,851 --> 00:02:07,854
♪ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
43
00:02:25,873 --> 00:02:27,956
Hi, Ma.
44
00:02:28,024 --> 00:02:29,308
Hey! Look who's here.
45
00:02:29,376 --> 00:02:31,093
Serafina!
46
00:02:31,161 --> 00:02:33,391
What are you
doing here? I need to talk to you.
47
00:02:33,397 --> 00:02:35,147
You're pregnant.
48
00:02:35,148 --> 00:02:36,449
Carla, that is
49
00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:38,217
a rude and unfair thing to say.
50
00:02:38,218 --> 00:02:40,386
There's a million reasons why your
daughter would want to talk to you.
51
00:02:40,387 --> 00:02:42,321
I am pregnant.
52
00:02:43,757 --> 00:02:46,358
Then again, you raised a slut.
53
00:02:46,426 --> 00:02:47,593
Sit down.
54
00:02:47,661 --> 00:02:50,162
Now, oh, God...
55
00:02:50,230 --> 00:02:51,831
first of all...
56
00:02:51,899 --> 00:02:54,066
are you getting sick
in the morning?
57
00:02:54,134 --> 00:02:57,002
A little bit, but I
haven't had to "Clavin,"
58
00:02:57,070 --> 00:02:58,671
if that's what you mean.
59
00:03:00,974 --> 00:03:02,792
And to answer
your next question,
60
00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:04,560
no, it wasn't planned.
61
00:03:04,628 --> 00:03:07,563
Oh, Serafina...
I have been praying
62
00:03:07,631 --> 00:03:09,782
that this day wouldn't come,
63
00:03:09,850 --> 00:03:12,218
but I can't say I'm
all that surprised.
64
00:03:12,286 --> 00:03:13,719
In fact,
65
00:03:13,787 --> 00:03:17,106
I have this little speech
I've been carrying around
66
00:03:17,174 --> 00:03:19,342
in case it did happen.
67
00:03:24,582 --> 00:03:26,716
"Dear Serafina,
68
00:03:26,783 --> 00:03:30,653
soon you will be 14 and able
to think for yourself."
69
00:03:30,721 --> 00:03:32,222
Mom.
70
00:03:32,289 --> 00:03:33,956
I'm 18.
71
00:03:34,024 --> 00:03:35,658
That's right, you are.
72
00:03:35,726 --> 00:03:37,627
None of this applies.
73
00:03:38,862 --> 00:03:41,731
So, do you know who the father is?
74
00:03:41,799 --> 00:03:42,999
Yes.
75
00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:46,502
Oh, honey, I'm so proud!
76
00:03:46,570 --> 00:03:50,339
It's Pat McDougall,
the guy I've been going with.
77
00:03:50,407 --> 00:03:51,824
Isn't he that retired cop
78
00:03:51,825 --> 00:03:54,193
who's just living off
his disability? That's right.
79
00:03:54,194 --> 00:03:56,845
And now he wants to marry me.
80
00:03:56,913 --> 00:03:58,113
Do you love him?
81
00:03:58,181 --> 00:04:00,766
Yes. Then don't marry him.
82
00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:02,401
What?
83
00:04:02,402 --> 00:04:05,321
The worst thing you could do,
Serafina, is marry for love.
84
00:04:05,322 --> 00:04:08,491
You know, when I first met
your deadbeat father, Nick,
85
00:04:08,558 --> 00:04:09,992
I loved him, too.
86
00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:14,496
Even when he knocked up
my sister, I said...
87
00:04:14,564 --> 00:04:16,765
hey, look, the guy
is just trying
88
00:04:16,833 --> 00:04:20,102
to get in good with the
family at my wedding.
89
00:04:21,738 --> 00:04:24,824
But for the next ten years,
all he did was cheat on me,
90
00:04:24,892 --> 00:04:27,482
treat me like dirt and keep
me in maternity clothes.
91
00:04:27,494 --> 00:04:29,579
Mom, it's not like that-
Pat's a good man.
92
00:04:29,646 --> 00:04:31,280
He loves me and I love him,
93
00:04:31,348 --> 00:04:33,716
and we want to build
a life for our baby.
94
00:04:33,784 --> 00:04:35,317
Please give us your blessing.
95
00:04:36,570 --> 00:04:39,438
Well... you're not
gonna get that alimony
96
00:04:39,506 --> 00:04:41,173
by staying single.
97
00:04:41,241 --> 00:04:43,025
Mom, you're the best!
98
00:04:43,093 --> 00:04:45,528
Hey, my daughter's
getting married!
99
00:04:45,596 --> 00:04:47,780
Hey! Oh!
100
00:04:47,847 --> 00:04:49,632
This'll be interesting. Yeah.
101
00:04:49,699 --> 00:04:52,109
Finally, a wedding where
I don't envy the bride.
102
00:04:52,856 --> 00:04:55,972
Thanks, Ma-
you won't regret this.
103
00:04:55,973 --> 00:04:58,574
And listen, Pat and I are
gonna pay for the whole thing.
104
00:04:58,575 --> 00:05:00,759
Oh, no, no, no, no,
you are my daughter,
105
00:05:00,827 --> 00:05:03,028
and you're in love,
and I'm gonna make you
106
00:05:03,029 --> 00:05:05,931
the best reception I can-
we're pulling out all the stops.
107
00:05:05,932 --> 00:05:09,685
You know, there is an elegant,
tasteful restaurant upstairs,
108
00:05:09,753 --> 00:05:12,488
and as luck would have it,
I am boinking the owner.
109
00:05:14,975 --> 00:05:16,943
Hey, Hill! It's Carla.
110
00:05:17,010 --> 00:05:20,212
Come on down here,
we got to talk.
111
00:05:20,213 --> 00:05:21,698
Hill? What are you doing?
Come on.
112
00:05:21,699 --> 00:05:23,389
You don't have to
have it up there.
113
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:24,734
Have it down here at Cheers.
114
00:05:24,735 --> 00:05:26,769
Oh, no, no, we can have
the reception here,
115
00:05:26,770 --> 00:05:29,205
but we got to have
the ceremony upstairs. Why?
116
00:05:29,272 --> 00:05:32,308
Every wedding we have
at Cheers is a disaster.
117
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,077
Uh, remember you and Diane?
118
00:05:34,144 --> 00:05:35,578
This place is jinxed.
119
00:05:35,579 --> 00:05:38,114
No, it's not-you're just
thinking of the bad ones.
120
00:05:38,115 --> 00:05:40,249
What about, uh,
Barry and JoAnne?
121
00:05:40,317 --> 00:05:42,051
Barry! Come here.
122
00:05:42,119 --> 00:05:44,720
Barry, how's it going
with you and JoAnne?
123
00:05:44,787 --> 00:05:47,790
Where have you been, in a cave?
124
00:05:52,996 --> 00:05:56,699
All right, Miss Tortelli,
just what is it?
125
00:05:56,767 --> 00:06:00,035
My daughter Serafina has just
announced she's getting married.
126
00:06:00,103 --> 00:06:01,521
Congratulations.
127
00:06:01,588 --> 00:06:03,356
When's the baby due?
128
00:06:09,713 --> 00:06:13,415
Here I come, Mom! Get ready!
129
00:06:13,483 --> 00:06:16,002
What do you think?
130
00:06:16,069 --> 00:06:17,736
That's great, Serafina.
131
00:06:17,804 --> 00:06:20,039
You look great.
132
00:06:20,107 --> 00:06:22,458
Kind of sleazy for
a wedding outfit.
133
00:06:22,525 --> 00:06:25,727
Sam, that was my wedding dress.
134
00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:28,130
When I say "sleazy,"
135
00:06:28,198 --> 00:06:31,433
I mean sleazy in a beautiful
young bride kind of way.
136
00:06:34,787 --> 00:06:37,506
Carla, is that Cap'n Gus
and his Polka Pirates?
137
00:06:38,992 --> 00:06:41,793
It's my daughter's
wedding, isn't it?
138
00:06:41,861 --> 00:06:45,014
Ah, Miss Tortelli,
there you are,
139
00:06:45,082 --> 00:06:47,583
an hour behind schedule, I see.
140
00:06:47,651 --> 00:06:51,120
You're as prompt
as you are lovely.
141
00:06:51,188 --> 00:06:53,022
What do you want, Hill?
142
00:06:53,090 --> 00:06:55,891
And by the way, you have
your toupee on wrong.
143
00:06:55,959 --> 00:06:58,293
The hair goes on the outside.
144
00:06:58,361 --> 00:07:00,613
Miss Tortelli, I'm
here to remind you
145
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:04,450
that this wedding must be
over by 11:30 on the dot.
146
00:07:04,518 --> 00:07:06,085
That's when I open for lunch.
147
00:07:06,152 --> 00:07:07,412
You open for lunch at noon.
148
00:07:07,437 --> 00:07:10,238
I know your family-
they leave at 11:30;
149
00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:13,175
At 11:31 the Orkin man arrives.
150
00:07:14,871 --> 00:07:18,380
And please also
remind your guests
151
00:07:18,381 --> 00:07:20,282
that even though
this is a wedding,
152
00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:21,717
it is still a restaurant.
153
00:07:21,784 --> 00:07:24,987
No shoes, no shirt, no service.
154
00:07:25,054 --> 00:07:27,773
Hi, everybody.
155
00:07:27,841 --> 00:07:28,958
Hey, Kelly, Woody.
156
00:07:29,026 --> 00:07:32,344
I'll go put this on
the gift table, Woody.
157
00:07:32,412 --> 00:07:35,147
Uh, hey, Woody, what'd you
get for the happy couple?
158
00:07:35,215 --> 00:07:38,501
Ah, well, strictly
between you and me,
159
00:07:38,568 --> 00:07:42,004
went up in the attic,
dug up one of our wedding gifts.
160
00:07:42,264 --> 00:07:45,741
One of the ugliest things
I ever saw.
161
00:07:45,742 --> 00:07:47,843
We couldn't wait
to get rid of it.
162
00:07:47,844 --> 00:07:49,161
Ah, yeah, so you just
thought you'd, uh,
163
00:07:49,162 --> 00:07:50,696
pass it on to the
happy couple, huh?
164
00:07:50,697 --> 00:07:51,697
Good thinking.
165
00:07:51,698 --> 00:07:52,965
So, uh, what is it?
166
00:07:53,033 --> 00:07:56,219
Oh, a set of
Star Trek steak knives.
167
00:07:56,286 --> 00:07:57,687
Woody, damn it!
168
00:07:57,754 --> 00:07:59,571
That gift was
from Lilith and me!
169
00:08:02,375 --> 00:08:05,445
They're delightfully whimsical
and-and very utilitarian.
170
00:08:05,478 --> 00:08:07,146
Uh, I-I'm sorry Dr. Crane.
171
00:08:07,147 --> 00:08:08,247
I didn't realize.
172
00:08:08,248 --> 00:08:10,215
Well, all right, Woody.
173
00:08:10,284 --> 00:08:12,094
To tell you the
truth, I, I was doing
174
00:08:12,152 --> 00:08:13,986
the same thing you
were doing. I...
175
00:08:14,053 --> 00:08:16,772
Fobbing off a gift
that we thought
176
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,174
was the worst thing we ever got.
177
00:08:19,242 --> 00:08:20,292
Thanks a lot, Fras.
178
00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:22,010
That was from Vera and me.
179
00:08:24,848 --> 00:08:26,715
You and Vera gave those away?
180
00:08:26,783 --> 00:08:29,685
You better not tell Ma.
181
00:08:29,753 --> 00:08:31,804
Hey, there.
182
00:08:31,805 --> 00:08:32,872
Remember me?
183
00:08:32,873 --> 00:08:33,906
Yes, I do.
184
00:08:33,907 --> 00:08:35,875
You're Carla's son, Gino.
185
00:08:35,876 --> 00:08:37,109
And I did not appreciate
186
00:08:37,110 --> 00:08:40,712
the nude photos of
yourself that you sent.
187
00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:43,731
You know, it's the best I could
do at the machine at the mall.
188
00:08:45,764 --> 00:08:48,754
Gino, would you forget about it?
189
00:08:48,755 --> 00:08:49,989
I'm not gonna go out with you.
190
00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:51,190
You're much too young for me.
191
00:08:51,191 --> 00:08:53,292
Oh. Yeah, right.
192
00:08:53,359 --> 00:08:54,960
Coo-coo-ca-choo, Miss Howe.
193
00:08:57,164 --> 00:08:58,915
Thanks for everything, Mom.
194
00:08:58,982 --> 00:09:01,684
Oh, honey, you know,
I got to admit
195
00:09:01,685 --> 00:09:03,920
that I wasn't too crazy
about this at first.
196
00:09:03,921 --> 00:09:07,540
But after spending this last
week getting the wedding ready
197
00:09:07,607 --> 00:09:09,675
and being with you
and everything,
198
00:09:09,743 --> 00:09:12,044
I got to say it's been
the best week of my life.
199
00:09:12,112 --> 00:09:13,879
Me, too.
200
00:09:15,899 --> 00:09:18,884
Ah, am I in time
for the nuptials?!
201
00:09:22,338 --> 00:09:23,855
Daddy!
202
00:09:23,923 --> 00:09:24,973
Nick.
203
00:09:25,024 --> 00:09:27,709
My little girl,
you look so beautiful.
204
00:09:29,846 --> 00:09:33,048
Are those implants?!
205
00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:49,315
Carla...
206
00:09:49,383 --> 00:09:51,317
it's been a fortnight.
207
00:09:53,654 --> 00:09:55,221
You colouring your hair?
208
00:09:55,288 --> 00:09:57,140
I cannot believe this.
209
00:09:57,207 --> 00:09:59,575
What else could
possibly go wrong?
210
00:10:00,494 --> 00:10:02,778
Hi, gang at Cheers!
211
00:10:02,846 --> 00:10:04,130
Sorry I'm late,
212
00:10:04,198 --> 00:10:06,332
but I had to park the car.
213
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,868
And then I had walk
from the car to here.
214
00:10:11,755 --> 00:10:13,923
How did you find out about this?
215
00:10:13,924 --> 00:10:15,124
My cousin Eddy called me.
216
00:10:15,125 --> 00:10:16,759
He-he told me he
read it in the paper.
217
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:20,029
So I figured, uh, my invitation
got lost in the mail.
218
00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:21,897
Daddy, I'm so glad you're here.
219
00:10:21,898 --> 00:10:23,632
I can't wait for you
to meet my fiancé.
220
00:10:23,633 --> 00:10:25,268
Stay right here;
I'll bring him down. Okay.
221
00:10:25,269 --> 00:10:26,502
Hey, Nick.
222
00:10:26,570 --> 00:10:27,870
Hey, Sam!
223
00:10:27,938 --> 00:10:30,706
Hey. You, are not welcome here.
224
00:10:30,707 --> 00:10:33,042
Now, you just do us all
a favour and leave, okay?
225
00:10:33,043 --> 00:10:34,511
You have no right to be here.
226
00:10:34,578 --> 00:10:35,778
I have a right to be here!
227
00:10:35,846 --> 00:10:37,830
I am the father of the bride!
228
00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:42,001
I have a responsibility to give
away the hand of the betrothed!
229
00:10:42,069 --> 00:10:44,470
It's what's called
loin entitlement.
230
00:10:46,239 --> 00:10:49,008
You smelly little wart.
231
00:10:49,009 --> 00:10:50,710
See, Kelly, we're not
the only couple
232
00:10:50,711 --> 00:10:53,001
who has cute little nicknames
for each other.
233
00:10:54,881 --> 00:10:58,034
Carla, I have to be
honest with you.
234
00:10:58,035 --> 00:10:59,569
When I heard about this wedding,
235
00:10:59,570 --> 00:11:02,104
I was very hurt that
you excluded us.
236
00:11:02,173 --> 00:11:05,074
After all, a marriage is
a time for forgiveness
237
00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:07,210
and healing.
238
00:11:07,211 --> 00:11:08,711
We drove 22 hours to get here.
239
00:11:08,712 --> 00:11:10,072
We even bought a
beautiful present.
240
00:11:12,983 --> 00:11:15,084
It's a set of Star
Trek steak knives.
241
00:11:19,122 --> 00:11:20,752
Anyway, I have a
right to be here.
242
00:11:20,753 --> 00:11:21,991
I'm, uh, I'm gonna stay.
243
00:11:21,992 --> 00:11:23,026
Yeah?
244
00:11:23,027 --> 00:11:25,828
You can just drive
22 hours back.
245
00:11:25,829 --> 00:11:26,996
Oh, come on, Carla.
246
00:11:26,997 --> 00:11:28,464
It took them
so long to get here.
247
00:11:28,465 --> 00:11:30,433
And-and, you know,
he is her father.
248
00:11:30,501 --> 00:11:33,486
Oh, fine, fine.
249
00:11:33,553 --> 00:11:35,921
You want Nick to be at
my daughter's wedding?
250
00:11:35,990 --> 00:11:37,590
Well, you can have him.
251
00:11:37,657 --> 00:11:39,192
Just have a great time!
252
00:11:39,259 --> 00:11:41,194
Oh, come on, Carla.
253
00:11:41,261 --> 00:11:42,528
Yeah, women, women.
254
00:11:42,596 --> 00:11:44,430
Isn't it enough
we sleep with them?
255
00:11:50,804 --> 00:11:55,625
So, uh, Nick, what have you
been up to lately, huh?
256
00:11:55,693 --> 00:11:57,727
Oh, uh, well, we still live
257
00:11:57,728 --> 00:11:59,495
in the glamorous
environs of Las Vegas,
258
00:11:59,496 --> 00:12:01,130
although we recently did move.
259
00:12:01,131 --> 00:12:03,165
We didn't like
our old neighbourhood,
260
00:12:03,166 --> 00:12:06,569
so we just drove our house
to a better one.
261
00:12:08,438 --> 00:12:11,140
Oh, uh, so how's
the career going, Nick?
262
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,408
Last time we chatted,
263
00:12:12,409 --> 00:12:14,077
you were talking
about marketing some kind
264
00:12:14,078 --> 00:12:16,379
of a, slot machine for the home.
265
00:12:16,447 --> 00:12:18,948
Oh yeah, "Flush and Win."
266
00:12:19,015 --> 00:12:20,283
It was a great idea.
267
00:12:20,284 --> 00:12:22,418
The only problem is that
people had a difficult time
268
00:12:22,419 --> 00:12:23,886
retrieving their change.
269
00:12:25,755 --> 00:12:28,041
Yeah, but I'm onto
something very big now.
270
00:12:28,108 --> 00:12:31,744
And this is an opportunity for
me to include you, my friends,
271
00:12:31,812 --> 00:12:33,072
in this future affluence.
272
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,481
Well, you know how I hate
to be apart from Vera...
273
00:12:35,549 --> 00:12:39,201
Wait, wait, sit,
sit, hear me out.
274
00:12:39,269 --> 00:12:41,670
I know I've had some crazy
schemes in the past,
275
00:12:41,738 --> 00:12:44,607
but this is then and that
was then and this is now.
276
00:12:47,611 --> 00:12:50,295
This is completely legit.
277
00:12:50,363 --> 00:12:55,401
I have an opportunity, to
purchase, an orang-utan act.
278
00:12:57,804 --> 00:13:02,024
Did he say "purchase" or "join"?
279
00:13:02,091 --> 00:13:04,493
Just need a couple of backers.
280
00:13:04,561 --> 00:13:07,463
Hear this: three apes,
281
00:13:07,530 --> 00:13:09,999
some banana oil,
282
00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:13,569
and a broad that's
had all her shots.
283
00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:17,322
Nicky, we missed you, lad.
284
00:13:17,323 --> 00:13:19,642
Hey, uh, Nick,
285
00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:21,744
if you want somebody
to invest in that,
286
00:13:21,745 --> 00:13:23,479
uh, act of yours there,
for Vegas,
287
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,548
you ought to go talk
to blondie over there.
288
00:13:25,549 --> 00:13:26,715
Yeah, she's loaded.
289
00:13:28,101 --> 00:13:29,151
Thank you.
290
00:13:29,186 --> 00:13:31,654
Listen, you come to
Vegas, you're comped.
291
00:13:35,409 --> 00:13:37,376
Excuse me, young man.
292
00:13:40,630 --> 00:13:44,216
Hello Miss. I'm Nick Tortelli.
293
00:13:44,284 --> 00:13:45,834
Hello. I'm Kelly Boyd.
294
00:13:45,902 --> 00:13:48,437
I can tell by your organda
295
00:13:48,505 --> 00:13:51,574
that you have taste
and discernment.
296
00:13:51,641 --> 00:13:53,493
Thank you.
297
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:55,294
Knock, knock.
298
00:13:55,361 --> 00:13:57,446
Who's there?
299
00:13:57,514 --> 00:14:00,132
Opportunity.
300
00:14:00,199 --> 00:14:03,185
Opportunity who?
301
00:14:03,253 --> 00:14:05,721
This is gonna take some time.
302
00:14:11,928 --> 00:14:15,598
People, people,
it's getting late.
303
00:14:15,599 --> 00:14:17,967
Now no one admires the sight
of a beautiful young bride
304
00:14:17,968 --> 00:14:20,703
more than I, but the lunch
rush is the lunch rush.
305
00:14:20,771 --> 00:14:24,073
Say John, I, I bet you'd like
to meet Carla's first husband.
306
00:14:24,140 --> 00:14:26,442
Oh, my God!
307
00:14:31,264 --> 00:14:33,482
Nice to meet you. Please.
308
00:14:33,550 --> 00:14:36,385
My profession requires
that I handle food.
309
00:14:39,606 --> 00:14:45,260
Daddy, this is my fiancé, Pat.
310
00:14:45,328 --> 00:14:46,378
Nice to meet you, sir.
311
00:14:46,379 --> 00:14:47,797
Aw, enough of the chit-chat.
312
00:14:47,798 --> 00:14:49,264
Step into my office.
313
00:14:51,568 --> 00:14:54,870
How do you propose to,
uh, support my progeny?
314
00:14:54,938 --> 00:14:57,740
Well, I'm a retired
police officer
315
00:14:57,808 --> 00:14:59,809
and currently living
off disability.
316
00:14:59,876 --> 00:15:01,626
What is the nature
of your injury?
317
00:15:01,628 --> 00:15:02,945
Whiplash.
318
00:15:03,013 --> 00:15:05,781
Very good, difficult
to disprove.
319
00:15:07,885 --> 00:15:08,984
Very bright.
320
00:15:09,052 --> 00:15:10,453
Thank you, sir.
321
00:15:10,521 --> 00:15:12,187
Bright enough to invest?
322
00:15:12,255 --> 00:15:13,489
Pardon me?
323
00:15:13,557 --> 00:15:15,825
Bright enough
to place your future
324
00:15:15,826 --> 00:15:17,560
and the future of
your entire progeny
325
00:15:17,561 --> 00:15:19,929
in the orang-utan act?
326
00:15:23,199 --> 00:15:25,434
Come on, Carla, don't do this.
327
00:15:25,502 --> 00:15:27,503
He has no right to be here.
328
00:15:27,571 --> 00:15:28,871
I raised those kids.
329
00:15:28,939 --> 00:15:30,038
He just split.
330
00:15:30,106 --> 00:15:31,373
Yeah, I, I know that.
331
00:15:31,441 --> 00:15:32,942
I made all the sacrifices.
332
00:15:33,009 --> 00:15:35,210
I had to bear all the
burden, he did nothing.
333
00:15:35,278 --> 00:15:38,447
Nothing. Well, what are you
gonna do, you know, the guy's here?
334
00:15:41,518 --> 00:15:44,586
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
335
00:15:44,655 --> 00:15:48,490
Sam, those kids are
all I got, okay?
336
00:15:48,558 --> 00:15:49,625
I know.
337
00:15:49,693 --> 00:15:51,560
They're all that matters to me.
338
00:15:51,561 --> 00:15:52,828
He doesn't care about that.
339
00:15:52,829 --> 00:15:54,163
He doesn't care who he hurts.
340
00:15:55,465 --> 00:15:57,033
Yeah, but...
341
00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:59,718
Sam, Sam could you
hurry it up a bit?
342
00:15:59,719 --> 00:16:02,688
Captain Gus has just played the
polka version of "Hava Nagila."
343
00:16:02,689 --> 00:16:04,590
He's managed to
insult two cultures.
344
00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:08,060
I'm not, I'm not
doing any good here.
345
00:16:08,061 --> 00:16:09,661
Please, please talk
to her, will you?
346
00:16:09,662 --> 00:16:10,996
All right, Sam.
347
00:16:11,064 --> 00:16:14,900
Uh, Carla, look, I know what
you're going through.
348
00:16:14,901 --> 00:16:17,669
I mean, you've sacrificed
your whole life for your kids
349
00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:19,321
and now, on the big day,
350
00:16:19,322 --> 00:16:21,457
Nick swoops in and tries
to hog all the glory.
351
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:22,898
Look, it happens all the time.
352
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,790
One parent uses the child as
leverage against the other.
353
00:16:25,796 --> 00:16:27,496
Really, Doc? Oh yes, yes.
354
00:16:27,564 --> 00:16:30,566
Often in a broken marriage
the child becomes nothing more
355
00:16:30,634 --> 00:16:33,903
than, a helpless pawn in the
war between the two adults.
356
00:16:33,904 --> 00:16:36,305
Of course that hasn't happened
with, with Lilith and myself
357
00:16:36,306 --> 00:16:37,874
because she's gone.
358
00:16:37,941 --> 00:16:41,077
But, uh, she'll be back.
359
00:16:42,412 --> 00:16:45,530
Oh, I know she'll be
back, you know why?
360
00:16:45,598 --> 00:16:47,299
'Cause I have Frederick.
361
00:16:48,067 --> 00:16:49,218
Yes, sir,
362
00:16:49,286 --> 00:16:52,287
he's my little trump card.
363
00:16:52,355 --> 00:16:53,405
Thank you very much.
364
00:16:53,456 --> 00:16:54,556
He is, you know.
365
00:16:54,624 --> 00:16:55,791
I have a plan.
366
00:16:58,995 --> 00:17:00,746
You're Nick, right?
367
00:17:00,747 --> 00:17:01,847
Yes.
368
00:17:01,848 --> 00:17:03,082
I'm Rebecca Howe.
369
00:17:03,150 --> 00:17:04,884
I work here
in the bar with Carla.
370
00:17:04,951 --> 00:17:07,452
And I just want to say
you must be very proud.
371
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,722
Oh I'm very proud. Yes.
372
00:17:09,790 --> 00:17:12,090
I know the last thing
that I would want to do
373
00:17:12,158 --> 00:17:14,026
is introduce a dark note,
374
00:17:14,093 --> 00:17:17,346
but if you don't get your hand off
my butt, you're gonna lose it.
375
00:17:18,134 --> 00:17:21,517
Sammy, how'd it go in there?
376
00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:22,584
Oh, not good.
377
00:17:22,585 --> 00:17:24,387
She refuses to come out.
I don't know...
378
00:17:24,388 --> 00:17:26,956
Don't worry about it, Sam.
I'll handle it.
379
00:17:27,024 --> 00:17:29,691
Carla, at times,
can be very obdurate.
380
00:17:31,194 --> 00:17:34,263
She also can be
very recalcitrant,
381
00:17:34,331 --> 00:17:39,968
intransigent and immovable.
382
00:17:40,036 --> 00:17:43,772
Nicky got one of those
word-a-day calendars.
383
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,842
We played word games
all the way from Las Vegas.
384
00:17:46,944 --> 00:17:48,577
I'm insipid.
385
00:17:52,598 --> 00:17:54,316
Carla. Go home, Nick.
386
00:17:54,317 --> 00:17:55,684
You don't deserve to be here.
387
00:17:55,685 --> 00:17:59,054
Carla, listen, I, I understand
your feelings very well.
388
00:17:59,055 --> 00:18:01,490
I know some people probably
thought I was a bad father
389
00:18:01,491 --> 00:18:04,660
and maybe I was and maybe I
wasn't, and maybe I was.
390
00:18:06,529 --> 00:18:09,364
I speak to you from the bottom
of my heart and guts,
391
00:18:09,432 --> 00:18:11,667
that these last few years
without family
392
00:18:11,734 --> 00:18:13,602
has been very empty for me.
393
00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:15,037
All I've had is Loretta.
394
00:18:15,105 --> 00:18:16,538
No offence.
395
00:18:16,606 --> 00:18:18,707
None taken.
396
00:18:18,775 --> 00:18:24,413
I've come to learn that the most
important thing is family.
397
00:18:24,481 --> 00:18:26,482
Yeah, I know,
I come at this late date
398
00:18:26,483 --> 00:18:27,750
for Serafina's wedding,
399
00:18:27,751 --> 00:18:29,681
but I thought
it would be a first step,
400
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,088
in realigning myself
with my offspring
401
00:18:32,155 --> 00:18:35,074
and them becoming truly
a paternity figure.
402
00:18:35,142 --> 00:18:37,960
So you want to be a father.
403
00:18:38,028 --> 00:18:40,395
You want to get back
in your kids' lives, huh?
404
00:18:40,463 --> 00:18:42,331
Absolutely.
405
00:18:42,398 --> 00:18:43,532
Come over here.
406
00:18:43,599 --> 00:18:44,967
Let's go.
407
00:18:48,138 --> 00:18:49,571
Over here we have...
408
00:18:49,639 --> 00:18:51,974
ten kids.
409
00:18:52,042 --> 00:18:54,009
Some of them are yours.
410
00:18:54,077 --> 00:18:57,796
Identify three,
and you can stay.
411
00:18:57,863 --> 00:19:00,365
Otherwise you're out of here.
412
00:19:00,433 --> 00:19:01,866
Is this a test?
413
00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:03,902
You're stalling.
414
00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:08,540
Give me some time
to gather my momentum.
415
00:19:08,541 --> 00:19:09,975
So, Miss Howe,
we've got five minutes.
416
00:19:09,976 --> 00:19:11,310
You want to tear one off?
417
00:19:11,377 --> 00:19:12,995
That's mine!
418
00:19:16,433 --> 00:19:19,235
Okay, that's one.
419
00:19:32,582 --> 00:19:34,583
Hugo, my beloved.
420
00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:35,718
Hugo.
421
00:19:35,786 --> 00:19:38,054
Sorry, Nick, that's
not your kid.
422
00:19:38,121 --> 00:19:40,939
You know you people
could help me.
423
00:19:40,940 --> 00:19:42,358
I wouldn't be much good.
424
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:46,161
I thought your last
selection was correct.
425
00:19:46,229 --> 00:19:47,846
Uh, I think it's about time.
426
00:19:47,913 --> 00:19:49,381
Let's start the ceremony.
427
00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:51,483
Oh, that's Serafina.
She's one of mine.
428
00:19:51,551 --> 00:19:53,018
Aw, forget it Nick.
429
00:19:53,085 --> 00:19:55,821
Let's face it,
you can't do this.
430
00:19:55,888 --> 00:19:57,856
Aw... Loretta. Hit the road.
431
00:19:57,857 --> 00:20:00,459
Go on, kids, go on upstairs and
get ready for the ceremony.
432
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:01,593
Come on, let's go.
433
00:20:01,661 --> 00:20:03,345
What's happening?
434
00:20:03,413 --> 00:20:06,131
Your mother doesn't
feel I belong here.
435
00:20:06,199 --> 00:20:08,633
She says I'm unwelcome.
436
00:20:08,701 --> 00:20:11,387
Mother, you can't
send Daddy away
437
00:20:11,455 --> 00:20:13,389
on the most important
day of my life.
438
00:20:13,390 --> 00:20:14,957
Listen, Serafina,
you've gotta understand...
439
00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:16,708
No, this is not about you.
440
00:20:16,776 --> 00:20:20,829
It's about me-
my wedding, my day.
441
00:20:20,897 --> 00:20:23,265
Have a nice life, baby.
442
00:20:23,332 --> 00:20:24,867
Wait one minute, Daddy.
443
00:20:26,752 --> 00:20:29,855
Look, Ma, I know all the
things you've done for me.
444
00:20:29,923 --> 00:20:31,389
I know you don't like Daddy,
445
00:20:31,457 --> 00:20:33,692
but like him or not,
he is my dad.
446
00:20:33,759 --> 00:20:36,411
I know he's been a bad father...
447
00:20:36,479 --> 00:20:38,113
never around when you need him,
448
00:20:38,181 --> 00:20:40,816
a louse, a jerk,
449
00:20:40,884 --> 00:20:43,485
a liar, a deadbeat.
450
00:20:43,553 --> 00:20:44,870
You tell her, honey.
451
00:20:47,606 --> 00:20:49,776
You know, all my life
I've always pictured
452
00:20:49,826 --> 00:20:52,727
that someday I would
walk down the aisle
453
00:20:52,795 --> 00:20:56,265
on my father's arm,
just like any other girl.
454
00:20:56,333 --> 00:21:00,052
Not like every
other girl, Serafina.
455
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,221
My father wasn't
there to give me away.
456
00:21:02,288 --> 00:21:04,073
And how'd that make
you feel, Mom?
457
00:21:06,209 --> 00:21:09,345
Pretty rotten.
458
00:21:09,412 --> 00:21:11,997
Sayonara, Serafina.
459
00:21:12,065 --> 00:21:14,282
Oh wait, Nick.
460
00:21:14,350 --> 00:21:15,684
You can stay.
461
00:21:15,752 --> 00:21:18,437
Really? Thanks, Mom.
462
00:21:18,504 --> 00:21:19,939
Look, you, listen...
463
00:21:20,006 --> 00:21:23,625
you do anything to ruin
my lovely daughter's wedding,
464
00:21:23,693 --> 00:21:26,795
and I will choke you
until your eyes bug out.
465
00:21:28,398 --> 00:21:30,816
It's just like The Waltons.
466
00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:36,154
♪ What are you doing
the rest of your life? ♪
467
00:21:36,222 --> 00:21:40,008
♪ North and south and east
and west of your life? ♪
468
00:21:40,076 --> 00:21:43,778
♪ I have only one request
of your life... ♪
469
00:21:43,846 --> 00:21:46,232
Carla, look at
our kid out there.
470
00:21:46,299 --> 00:21:49,535
She's pregnant, married
to a retired cop.
471
00:21:49,603 --> 00:21:51,804
We must have done
something right.
472
00:21:51,871 --> 00:21:53,989
Yeah.
473
00:21:53,990 --> 00:21:56,225
Maybe our other kids
will turn out okay, too.
474
00:21:56,226 --> 00:21:58,093
That is my most fervent wish.
475
00:21:59,829 --> 00:22:01,897
Cheers.
476
00:22:01,964 --> 00:22:03,031
Oh, just a second.
477
00:22:03,099 --> 00:22:04,466
Mr. Tortelli, it's for you.
478
00:22:04,534 --> 00:22:06,351
For me?
479
00:22:06,419 --> 00:22:08,620
Hello.
480
00:22:08,688 --> 00:22:10,489
What?
481
00:22:12,759 --> 00:22:14,359
What? When?
482
00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:15,994
All right, I'll be on it!
483
00:22:15,995 --> 00:22:17,228
Loretta, let's go!
484
00:22:17,296 --> 00:22:18,980
What's the matter?
485
00:22:18,981 --> 00:22:21,099
One of the orang-utans
went nuts and bit a kid.
486
00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:23,735
I've got to rush to Vegas
before they put him to sleep.
487
00:22:23,736 --> 00:22:24,996
The orang-utan or the kid?
488
00:22:25,021 --> 00:22:26,422
I didn't ask.
489
00:22:29,325 --> 00:22:31,660
Thanks again
for everything, Mom.
490
00:22:31,728 --> 00:22:33,095
I'm happy.
491
00:22:33,163 --> 00:22:36,765
Serafina, I really
want to apologize
492
00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:39,034
for the way I acted
this afternoon.
493
00:22:39,102 --> 00:22:44,305
And I promise I'll be on my best
behaviour at your next wedding.
494
00:22:44,373 --> 00:22:47,876
Oh, Ma.
34813
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof