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1
00:00:01,962 --> 00:00:04,997
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:11,286
Oh! Oh!
3
00:00:14,074 --> 00:00:17,043
Sam, I think Carla
has a drink order.
4
00:00:18,745 --> 00:00:19,878
Sweetheart,
are you all right?
5
00:00:19,913 --> 00:00:21,931
Sammy, I think this could be it.
6
00:00:21,965 --> 00:00:23,732
I think the twins are coming.
7
00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:24,801
Oh. Ooh, ooh!
8
00:00:25,836 --> 00:00:26,803
What do you know?
9
00:00:26,837 --> 00:00:28,070
The Sixers are
in town tonight.
10
00:00:28,105 --> 00:00:30,572
Isn't it amazing
how Carla's labor pains
11
00:00:30,607 --> 00:00:34,043
always seem to coincide
with Celtic home games?
12
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:35,644
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
13
00:00:35,679 --> 00:00:37,563
Wait a minute.
14
00:00:37,598 --> 00:00:40,349
Now, you think
that I would exploit
15
00:00:40,383 --> 00:00:42,551
this beautiful thing
called motherhood
16
00:00:42,585 --> 00:00:46,355
just to go
to some stupid basketball game?
17
00:00:49,410 --> 00:00:51,110
I'm insulted!
18
00:00:51,144 --> 00:00:52,161
Carla, I'm not falling
for it this time.
19
00:00:52,195 --> 00:00:53,262
You can scream till you shatter
20
00:00:53,296 --> 00:00:54,563
every glass in this bar,
21
00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:55,731
but you're not going anywhere.
22
00:00:57,517 --> 00:00:58,601
Sweetheart,
you're just going
23
00:00:58,635 --> 00:01:00,736
to have to give birth
right here in the bar.
24
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,538
Come on.
It won't be that bad.
25
00:01:02,573 --> 00:01:05,091
Remember, the last kid
you had here was no big deal.
26
00:01:05,125 --> 00:01:06,325
All you had to do
was a little
27
00:01:06,359 --> 00:01:08,543
snip-snip
and a quick mop-up
28
00:01:08,578 --> 00:01:09,695
and you were right back
on your feet.
29
00:01:11,081 --> 00:01:12,414
Let me call you
a cab, Carla.
30
00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:14,950
It's all right.
I got one waiting.
Thank you.
31
00:01:14,985 --> 00:01:16,402
Hey, uh, there
wouldn't happen
to be another seat
32
00:01:16,437 --> 00:01:17,537
in the delivery room,
would there?
33
00:01:17,571 --> 00:01:19,204
No, no.
There are only seats
for me and Eddie, Sam.
34
00:01:19,239 --> 00:01:20,272
Oh, come on.
35
00:01:20,307 --> 00:01:22,258
Maybe next... child.
36
00:01:29,449 --> 00:01:31,867
¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
37
00:01:31,902 --> 00:01:35,087
¶ Takes everything you've got
38
00:01:35,122 --> 00:01:37,823
¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
39
00:01:37,857 --> 00:01:41,059
¶ Sure would help a lot
40
00:01:41,094 --> 00:01:46,265
¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
41
00:01:46,299 --> 00:01:49,151
¶ Sometimes you want to go
42
00:01:49,185 --> 00:01:54,523
¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
43
00:01:54,557 --> 00:01:59,195
¶ And they're always glad
you came ¶
44
00:01:59,229 --> 00:02:01,463
¶ You want to be
where you can see ¶
45
00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:04,200
¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
46
00:02:04,234 --> 00:02:09,638
¶ You want to be where everybody
knows your name ¶
47
00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:11,824
¶ You want to go
where people know ¶
48
00:02:11,858 --> 00:02:14,576
¶ People are all the same
49
00:02:14,611 --> 00:02:18,480
¶ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ¶
50
00:02:36,133 --> 00:02:39,919
Announcement! Announcement!
51
00:02:39,953 --> 00:02:41,354
I just got a phone call,
52
00:02:41,388 --> 00:02:43,655
and if things work out,
it might be
53
00:02:43,690 --> 00:02:45,007
my ticket out of here.
54
00:02:50,947 --> 00:02:52,648
Don't you even want
to know what it's about?
55
00:02:52,683 --> 00:02:54,933
There's more?
56
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:58,421
Yes. I have been asked
to organize a cocktail party
57
00:02:58,455 --> 00:03:02,158
for Mr. Daniel T. Collier.
58
00:03:02,943 --> 00:03:05,494
Ooh, Daniel T. Collier,
the lemon wafer king?
59
00:03:05,528 --> 00:03:07,512
No, no, that's Donald P. Cooper.
60
00:03:07,547 --> 00:03:09,031
Hey, I love
those lemon wafers.
61
00:03:09,065 --> 00:03:10,065
You ever dip them in cocoa
62
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:12,017
and try to get them out
without breaking them?
63
00:03:12,051 --> 00:03:14,370
Yeah, yeah.
Do you know you can make
a mock apple pie with those?
64
00:03:14,404 --> 00:03:16,138
Excuse me.
Those are Ritz Crackers.
65
00:03:16,173 --> 00:03:17,889
Stop talking about wafers!
66
00:03:19,092 --> 00:03:20,476
This is Daniel T. Collier,
67
00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:22,178
the chairman of the board,
68
00:03:22,212 --> 00:03:24,613
the chief executive officer
of Lillian.
69
00:03:24,647 --> 00:03:26,699
Oh...
70
00:03:26,733 --> 00:03:27,332
Sammy, don't you have,
71
00:03:27,366 --> 00:03:28,985
like, the slightest bit of guilt
72
00:03:29,019 --> 00:03:31,620
selling this bar
to a corporation named Lillian?
73
00:03:33,273 --> 00:03:34,073
Well, we used to be called
74
00:03:34,107 --> 00:03:35,524
Drax Chemical,
Dye and Munitions,
75
00:03:35,558 --> 00:03:37,392
but people had trouble
believing our motto:
76
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:38,894
"We care about people."
77
00:03:40,647 --> 00:03:42,147
Okay, I'm going
to need the best
of everything:
78
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,215
the best food,
79
00:03:43,249 --> 00:03:44,449
the best liquor.
80
00:03:44,484 --> 00:03:45,751
The best bartenders.
81
00:03:45,785 --> 00:03:47,035
You?
82
00:03:53,076 --> 00:03:54,910
Good one, Sam.
83
00:03:57,297 --> 00:03:58,730
Did I say something
funny here?
84
00:03:58,765 --> 00:04:00,549
Well, actually,
I didn't get it either.
85
00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:02,184
I was just laughing
to be polite.
86
00:04:02,219 --> 00:04:04,002
But in my own defense,
87
00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:07,640
I do get some things
that no one else does.
88
00:04:10,093 --> 00:04:12,561
¶ When there's a shine
on your shoes ¶
89
00:04:12,595 --> 00:04:14,346
¶ There's a melody
in your heart ¶
90
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:17,149
Shiny shoes, huh?
91
00:04:17,184 --> 00:04:19,051
¶ Shiny shoes, shiny shoes.
92
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,606
Ah, gents, notice anything
different about me today?
93
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,140
Okay, I'll go out on a limb.
94
00:04:25,175 --> 00:04:26,275
New shoes?
95
00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:28,443
Yes, siree, Normie.
96
00:04:28,478 --> 00:04:31,180
And for a limited time only,
97
00:04:31,214 --> 00:04:32,714
thanks to the US
Postal Service,
98
00:04:32,749 --> 00:04:34,449
you, too, can be saying
to your feet,
99
00:04:34,484 --> 00:04:36,151
"Thanks for your support."
100
00:04:37,654 --> 00:04:39,688
Are we to deduce
from this, Cliff,
101
00:04:39,723 --> 00:04:42,307
that you are now selling
mail-order shoes?
102
00:04:42,341 --> 00:04:44,693
I am not selling
shoes here, Doctor.
103
00:04:44,728 --> 00:04:46,561
I'm selling dreams.
104
00:04:46,596 --> 00:04:50,415
Dreams of a little cobbler
in Missouri who pours his heart
105
00:04:50,450 --> 00:04:52,752
into every sole.
106
00:04:52,786 --> 00:04:55,287
Actually, Cliff,
with a pair of
dark socks
107
00:04:55,321 --> 00:04:57,389
those could look
halfway decent.
108
00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:58,607
How much
are they, Cliff?
109
00:04:58,641 --> 00:04:59,675
$19.99.
110
00:04:59,709 --> 00:05:00,393
Well, what the heck?
111
00:05:00,427 --> 00:05:02,378
For 20 bucks,
I'll give it a shot.
112
00:05:03,163 --> 00:05:06,214
All right,
order me a size 11.
113
00:05:06,249 --> 00:05:07,316
Normie, Normie, Normie,
114
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:09,518
these are not
your assembly line clodhoppers.
115
00:05:09,552 --> 00:05:11,820
These are precisely
machine-measured.
116
00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:13,072
How do I do it then?
117
00:05:13,106 --> 00:05:14,507
Just trace your tootsies
on a cocktail napkin
118
00:05:14,541 --> 00:05:15,774
over here, fellas, all right?
119
00:05:18,194 --> 00:05:19,361
I'll tell you.
120
00:05:19,395 --> 00:05:20,396
This brings back memories
121
00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:21,930
of my dad when I was a kid.
122
00:05:21,965 --> 00:05:22,464
Did you all always
used to order
123
00:05:22,499 --> 00:05:23,648
your shoes
through the mail?
124
00:05:23,683 --> 00:05:25,433
He was always getting taken
125
00:05:25,468 --> 00:05:26,635
by some huckster.
126
00:05:28,638 --> 00:05:29,972
Sam,
127
00:05:30,006 --> 00:05:31,040
if you were throwing
a party,
128
00:05:31,074 --> 00:05:32,808
would you order Dom Perignon
or Cristal?
129
00:05:32,842 --> 00:05:33,542
Cristal.
130
00:05:33,576 --> 00:05:35,477
Dom Perignon it is, then.
131
00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:40,366
This is getting insulting.
132
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,885
You know, I don't think
that she respects us.
133
00:05:42,919 --> 00:05:44,353
What do you mean "us," Sam?
134
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:47,022
You're the one who goofed
up that champagne thing.
135
00:05:47,056 --> 00:05:49,024
Woody, come on, man.
136
00:05:49,058 --> 00:05:50,359
We're a team.
137
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:53,228
Is that the insulting part?
138
00:05:53,263 --> 00:05:54,763
This... the point is,
139
00:05:54,797 --> 00:05:55,831
she doesn't think
that we're worthy
140
00:05:55,865 --> 00:05:59,234
of hanging around
with her society friends.
141
00:05:59,269 --> 00:06:01,520
She thinks
we're nincompoops.
142
00:06:01,554 --> 00:06:03,622
Nincompoops?
143
00:06:03,656 --> 00:06:04,623
Let's go, Sam.
144
00:06:04,657 --> 00:06:05,974
We're going
to talk to her.
145
00:06:06,008 --> 00:06:06,842
What?
146
00:06:06,876 --> 00:06:09,995
Nobody calls Woody Boyd
a nincompoop.
147
00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:12,431
Except my dad.
148
00:06:16,937 --> 00:06:17,669
Miss Howe,
149
00:06:17,704 --> 00:06:19,371
with all due respect,
150
00:06:19,405 --> 00:06:22,374
that nincompoop crack
really hurt.
151
00:06:22,408 --> 00:06:26,094
Woody, I didn't call you
a nincompoop.
152
00:06:26,128 --> 00:06:29,314
All right, then why
you won't let us tend
bar at your party?
153
00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:30,249
Is it because you think
we're incompetent?
154
00:06:30,283 --> 00:06:32,001
You think we're
not smooth enough?
155
00:06:32,119 --> 00:06:34,753
You think we're uncouth?
156
00:06:34,787 --> 00:06:36,572
No, I need you here.
157
00:06:36,606 --> 00:06:38,173
Oh, okay.
158
00:06:38,208 --> 00:06:40,709
Let's go, Sam.
159
00:06:40,743 --> 00:06:41,710
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
160
00:06:41,744 --> 00:06:43,878
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
161
00:06:43,913 --> 00:06:44,580
Sam, now, look.
162
00:06:44,614 --> 00:06:45,697
Really, why do you care?
163
00:06:45,732 --> 00:06:47,583
Why on Earth do you want
to work this party?
164
00:06:47,617 --> 00:06:49,401
All right, you know,
by not hiring us,
165
00:06:49,435 --> 00:06:51,137
what you're doing is
you're telling the rest
of the world
166
00:06:51,171 --> 00:06:54,673
that Sam Malone is not fit
for the society of decent folks,
167
00:06:54,707 --> 00:06:57,076
that he's incompetent,
that he's a clod.
168
00:06:57,110 --> 00:06:58,110
What about me, Sam?
169
00:06:58,145 --> 00:06:59,578
You, too, Woody.
170
00:06:59,612 --> 00:07:00,995
I'm going to tell you
171
00:07:01,030 --> 00:07:01,813
something, lady.
172
00:07:01,848 --> 00:07:03,198
We may not have come
out of Harvard.
173
00:07:03,232 --> 00:07:04,600
We may not belong
to a yacht club.
174
00:07:04,634 --> 00:07:07,302
We may not have tended
bar at a polo tournament,
175
00:07:07,336 --> 00:07:08,938
but we know how
to do our job
176
00:07:08,972 --> 00:07:12,942
and we do it with
dignity and class.
177
00:07:12,976 --> 00:07:15,911
You're right.
178
00:07:15,945 --> 00:07:17,913
I'm sorry. The job is yours.
179
00:07:17,947 --> 00:07:19,831
All right!
Whoa, baby!
180
00:07:19,866 --> 00:07:21,050
Whoo!
181
00:07:21,084 --> 00:07:24,420
Whoo! Whoo, baby!
182
00:07:36,232 --> 00:07:38,050
Lovely party, Rebecca.
183
00:07:38,084 --> 00:07:39,668
Why, thank you, Mr. Collier.
184
00:07:43,189 --> 00:07:45,491
Isn't this place
something, Sam?
185
00:07:45,525 --> 00:07:46,559
Ooh, yeah.
186
00:07:46,593 --> 00:07:48,193
I think it's even nicer
187
00:07:48,227 --> 00:07:51,130
than Wheeler's Funeral
Parlor in Hanover.
188
00:07:51,164 --> 00:07:54,232
Of course, that's
not the most fun
place in town.
189
00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:55,433
Well, I'll bet not.
190
00:07:55,468 --> 00:07:57,636
That would be
Bob's Funeral Parlor.
191
00:07:59,505 --> 00:08:00,539
Oh, my God.
192
00:08:00,573 --> 00:08:03,959
Woody, is it me
or is that woman gorgeous?
193
00:08:03,993 --> 00:08:05,527
You look nice, Sam,
194
00:08:05,562 --> 00:08:08,964
but I'm going
to have to go
with the woman.
195
00:08:08,998 --> 00:08:10,799
Do me a favor here,
will ya, buddy?
196
00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:12,767
Hold down the fort here
197
00:08:12,802 --> 00:08:14,936
while I pass that lady
a tray of smoked Sammy.
198
00:08:19,508 --> 00:08:21,076
Great party, huh?
199
00:08:21,110 --> 00:08:22,411
Yes.
200
00:08:22,445 --> 00:08:26,181
I'll have
a Manhattan.
201
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:27,449
What?
202
00:08:27,483 --> 00:08:29,284
Oh, this.
203
00:08:29,319 --> 00:08:31,653
Well, you think
I'm a bartender, huh?
204
00:08:31,687 --> 00:08:34,839
What do you think you are?
205
00:08:34,874 --> 00:08:35,958
Well, to tell you
the truth,
206
00:08:35,992 --> 00:08:37,009
I used to be a bartender,
207
00:08:37,043 --> 00:08:39,227
but now I'm an
eccentric millionaire.
208
00:08:39,262 --> 00:08:41,964
I just dress like this
to remind myself
209
00:08:41,998 --> 00:08:44,166
of my modest beginnings.
210
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,301
Back behind the bar.
211
00:08:46,336 --> 00:08:50,105
I pay her to say that.
It keeps me humble.
212
00:08:50,139 --> 00:08:51,723
Malone, now!
213
00:08:51,758 --> 00:08:55,493
Ooh, that was
a good one, huh?
214
00:08:55,528 --> 00:08:58,897
I'm going to have
to give her a raise, huh?
215
00:08:58,932 --> 00:09:01,767
Looking good.
216
00:09:01,801 --> 00:09:03,368
Woody, what are you doing?!
217
00:09:03,402 --> 00:09:04,987
That is not a trash can.
218
00:09:05,021 --> 00:09:06,554
That is a work of art.
219
00:09:10,894 --> 00:09:13,529
Oh, my God.
220
00:09:13,563 --> 00:09:15,898
This is just what I need
is for Collier to see this.
221
00:09:15,932 --> 00:09:17,198
He is a collector.
222
00:09:17,233 --> 00:09:18,700
Oh, hey, let's
calm down now.
223
00:09:18,734 --> 00:09:20,335
Nobody's seen anything yet.
224
00:09:20,370 --> 00:09:23,071
Woody, take it in the kitchen
and clean it out.
225
00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:24,206
Sure, Sam.
Sorry, Miss Howe.
226
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:25,207
Woody, go.
Just go.
227
00:09:25,241 --> 00:09:27,176
I got you. I got you.
228
00:09:27,210 --> 00:09:28,343
I tell you, Sam.
229
00:09:28,378 --> 00:09:29,478
This is the last time
230
00:09:29,512 --> 00:09:30,746
I'm going to throw
one of these fancy parties.
231
00:09:30,780 --> 00:09:32,715
The next time one
of these hotshots wants...
232
00:09:39,389 --> 00:09:40,455
Don't worry, Ms. Howe.
233
00:09:40,490 --> 00:09:41,956
It was only a tray of glasses.
234
00:09:44,610 --> 00:09:46,794
Thank God.
Let's not tempt fate, Woody.
235
00:09:46,829 --> 00:09:48,113
I'll clean it myself.
236
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,700
They weren't great glasses,
Sam, and they were dirty.
237
00:09:59,625 --> 00:10:02,444
uh, the vase?
238
00:10:13,403 --> 00:10:15,605
It was there.
I was holding it.
239
00:10:15,639 --> 00:10:18,908
It was right in my hands,
and now it's gone.
240
00:10:18,943 --> 00:10:20,477
Maybe we can glue it
back together
241
00:10:20,511 --> 00:10:21,778
and no one will ever know.
242
00:10:22,930 --> 00:10:24,196
Forget that.
243
00:10:24,231 --> 00:10:25,832
Oh!
244
00:10:25,867 --> 00:10:27,134
Just calm down now.
245
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,735
Calm down.
It was an accident.
246
00:10:28,737 --> 00:10:30,370
I'm sure Mr. Collier
will understand.
247
00:10:30,404 --> 00:10:31,471
No, he won't.
248
00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:32,572
This isn't the
first time
249
00:10:32,606 --> 00:10:34,007
I've goofed up
at the company.
250
00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:35,642
I started out
as a junior executive
251
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:38,211
and I'm diligently working
my way down to the mailroom
252
00:10:38,245 --> 00:10:43,249
with a brief stopover
at that Siberia called Cheers.
253
00:10:43,283 --> 00:10:47,204
Shh-shh. Stop it.
Just calm down here.
Calm down.
254
00:10:47,238 --> 00:10:49,839
I know.
I'll just resign now,
255
00:10:49,873 --> 00:10:51,441
move back to San Diego,
256
00:10:51,475 --> 00:10:53,876
join the Navy,
grow old and die.
257
00:10:53,911 --> 00:10:54,845
Oh...
258
00:10:56,547 --> 00:11:00,550
Boy, Sam,
I really feel
sorry for her.
259
00:11:00,584 --> 00:11:03,619
Never thought I'd say it,
but so do I.
260
00:11:03,654 --> 00:11:06,556
Look at this party
she threw together here,
261
00:11:06,590 --> 00:11:09,659
and then that happens.
Poor kid.
262
00:11:11,461 --> 00:11:12,995
You think they'll
make me manager?
263
00:11:13,030 --> 00:11:14,464
Hey, yo, over here.
264
00:11:19,937 --> 00:11:22,638
You know, Woody,
265
00:11:22,673 --> 00:11:25,275
I'm about to do
a decent thing here.
266
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:26,259
Get out.
267
00:11:26,293 --> 00:11:27,960
Yeah.
268
00:11:27,995 --> 00:11:29,412
I'm going to take
the fall for this.
269
00:11:29,447 --> 00:11:32,014
What the hell?
I'm a great bartender.
270
00:11:32,049 --> 00:11:34,284
I can get a job anywhere I want.
271
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,936
Sam, that's the
second nicest thing
you've ever done.
272
00:11:36,970 --> 00:11:38,004
Well, thank you.
273
00:11:38,038 --> 00:11:40,156
What's the nicest?
274
00:11:40,190 --> 00:11:42,775
When you let me
drive your Corvette.
275
00:11:42,809 --> 00:11:43,643
Right. Right, right.
276
00:11:43,761 --> 00:11:45,395
That's good. That's good.
277
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,684
Excuse me, young man.
278
00:11:51,719 --> 00:11:53,603
What happened to the vase
that was sitting there?
279
00:11:53,637 --> 00:11:54,737
Somebody move it?
280
00:11:58,859 --> 00:12:01,127
Sir, I have a confession.
281
00:12:01,162 --> 00:12:02,295
My name is Woody Boyd,
282
00:12:02,329 --> 00:12:04,330
and by accident,
I broke your vase.
283
00:12:04,364 --> 00:12:06,283
You...
284
00:12:06,317 --> 00:12:08,084
you broke it?!
285
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,001
You...
286
00:12:10,471 --> 00:12:12,905
Do you know how many years
I waited
287
00:12:12,939 --> 00:12:14,440
to add that to my collection?
288
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:18,177
Do you realize
the significance of that piece?
289
00:12:18,211 --> 00:12:19,829
No, sir.
290
00:12:19,863 --> 00:12:22,298
And I also broke some glasses.
291
00:12:26,237 --> 00:12:28,021
No, Sam,
I can't let you do it.
292
00:12:28,055 --> 00:12:29,372
It wouldn't be right if you...
293
00:12:30,591 --> 00:12:34,794
Uh, Mr. Collier, there's been
a terrible accident.
294
00:12:34,829 --> 00:12:37,130
Yes. This person just told me
295
00:12:37,164 --> 00:12:40,266
how he destroyed
my vase.
296
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,868
But Woody didn't do it.
297
00:12:41,902 --> 00:12:43,887
What she means
is I didn't do it
on purpose.
298
00:12:43,921 --> 00:12:45,404
Yes, I know.
299
00:12:45,439 --> 00:12:48,024
The only thing that can match
my great disappointment
300
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:51,594
at losing the vase
is the admiration
301
00:12:51,628 --> 00:12:53,780
that I feel for this boy.
302
00:12:57,134 --> 00:12:59,969
Woody, you showed
great courage
and integrity
303
00:13:00,003 --> 00:13:02,238
in stepping up
to face the music here.
304
00:13:02,273 --> 00:13:04,740
Rebecca, would you mind
standing in for Woody
305
00:13:04,775 --> 00:13:05,775
for a little while?
306
00:13:05,809 --> 00:13:06,909
You wouldn't mind,
would you?
307
00:13:06,943 --> 00:13:08,478
I'd like to get
to know him better.
308
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,084
You want a drink?
309
00:13:15,119 --> 00:13:16,953
Well, sure.
310
00:13:16,988 --> 00:13:18,655
Well, just tell
the girl.
311
00:13:20,942 --> 00:13:24,376
Miss Howe, I'll have a...
gin and tonic.
312
00:13:24,411 --> 00:13:25,695
Well, come on.
She'll bring 'em in.
313
00:13:25,729 --> 00:13:27,563
Oh.
314
00:13:39,843 --> 00:13:42,061
Another Manhattan.
315
00:13:42,096 --> 00:13:43,980
Manhattan, huh?
316
00:13:44,015 --> 00:13:46,816
I own a lot of that, you know?
317
00:13:46,851 --> 00:13:49,219
Right, the eccentric millionaire
routine.
318
00:13:49,253 --> 00:13:50,936
You know, I got
to tell you the truth here.
319
00:13:50,971 --> 00:13:53,373
I'm getting kind of bored
serving all these stiffs drinks.
320
00:13:53,407 --> 00:13:54,740
What do you say
you and I go out
321
00:13:54,775 --> 00:13:56,008
and spend some
of my money?
322
00:13:56,042 --> 00:13:57,811
What time does France
close anyway?
323
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:01,714
I think they're
remodeling.
324
00:14:01,749 --> 00:14:03,082
Oh.
325
00:14:03,116 --> 00:14:04,651
Have any other
suggestions?
326
00:14:04,685 --> 00:14:07,403
Unfortunately, my mansion's
being painted
327
00:14:07,437 --> 00:14:09,022
and my yacht's
in dry dock.
328
00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:10,106
Well, let me see...
329
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,307
Oh, I know it.
I know it.
330
00:14:11,341 --> 00:14:12,508
You know, my chauffeur's
331
00:14:12,542 --> 00:14:14,610
got a little one-bedroom
apartment downtown.
332
00:14:14,644 --> 00:14:17,446
What do you say you
and I go slumming?
333
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:18,314
Let me guess:
334
00:14:18,348 --> 00:14:21,267
you're not really
rich at all, are you?
335
00:14:21,302 --> 00:14:22,668
Well, now,
define "rich."
336
00:14:22,703 --> 00:14:23,769
I have my health.
337
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,608
I... uh, think I'll just
stick with the drink.
338
00:14:29,643 --> 00:14:30,710
Let me get this straight:
339
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,679
when you thought
that I was a millionaire,
340
00:14:32,713 --> 00:14:34,213
you were ready to go out
with me,
341
00:14:34,247 --> 00:14:36,015
but now that I'm just
a healthy bartender,
342
00:14:36,050 --> 00:14:38,051
you don't want to have
anything to do with me.
343
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:39,001
I gotta tell you, lady,
344
00:14:39,036 --> 00:14:40,820
that makes you
an incredibly shallow person.
345
00:14:40,855 --> 00:14:42,588
Do you actually think
this sort of approach
346
00:14:42,623 --> 00:14:43,690
is going to work?
347
00:14:43,724 --> 00:14:44,991
Absolutely.
348
00:14:45,026 --> 00:14:47,360
You see, I'm an incredibly
shallow person myself.
349
00:14:47,395 --> 00:14:49,395
Between the two of us,
350
00:14:49,429 --> 00:14:52,165
we couldn't make
a decent wading pool.
351
00:14:52,199 --> 00:14:53,799
What do you say, huh?
352
00:14:53,834 --> 00:14:56,135
Don't I know you from somewhere?
353
00:14:56,170 --> 00:14:57,270
Yeah, well,
you probably
354
00:14:57,304 --> 00:14:59,272
caught me out
at Fenway, huh?
355
00:14:59,306 --> 00:15:00,206
Of course.
356
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,909
I bought a bag
of peanuts from you.
357
00:15:08,682 --> 00:15:11,817
Another round of brandies
for Butch and Sundance.
358
00:15:13,754 --> 00:15:15,755
They're really, uh,
hitting it off, huh?
359
00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:17,056
I should say so.
360
00:15:17,091 --> 00:15:19,926
They're in there
singing school songs.
361
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,544
If you hate Ivy
League fight songs,
362
00:15:21,578 --> 00:15:25,615
wait till you hear one
from bartending school.
363
00:15:25,649 --> 00:15:27,400
You're not taking this
very well, are you?
364
00:15:27,435 --> 00:15:29,035
What, that little
backstabber?
365
00:15:29,069 --> 00:15:30,669
Oh, now cut that out.
366
00:15:30,704 --> 00:15:33,005
Woody took a big risk, you know.
367
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,408
You broke the vase and
he took the blame for it.
368
00:15:35,442 --> 00:15:37,276
It didn't have
to turn out that way.
369
00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:39,178
He just had your best
interest at heart.
370
00:15:39,213 --> 00:15:40,579
I know.
371
00:15:40,614 --> 00:15:43,049
I could just hug him till
his tongue turns black.
372
00:15:49,623 --> 00:15:52,759
You know, I'm not convinced
you're a millionaire,
373
00:15:52,793 --> 00:15:57,196
but I am sold
on the eccentric part.
374
00:15:57,231 --> 00:15:58,865
Well, that's a start.
375
00:15:58,899 --> 00:16:00,399
And since
I'm not getting
376
00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:02,068
any interesting
nibbles tonight anyway,
377
00:16:02,102 --> 00:16:04,503
I'm reconsidering
your offer.
378
00:16:04,538 --> 00:16:07,824
Nibbles are my specialty.
379
00:16:07,858 --> 00:16:09,109
Great.
380
00:16:09,143 --> 00:16:11,410
Well, what time will
you be getting off?
381
00:16:20,070 --> 00:16:22,238
Oh, listen, I've got
to show you a trick shot.
382
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,573
Now you watch this.
383
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,675
Got you again, Pinky!
384
00:16:27,411 --> 00:16:28,912
You can't do that!
385
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:30,513
Oh, uh...
386
00:16:30,547 --> 00:16:32,865
You seem to have something
in your eye, Woodhead.
387
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:34,400
I'll get it for you.
388
00:16:34,434 --> 00:16:36,569
Oh, Pinky, stop!
389
00:16:36,604 --> 00:16:39,338
It's noogie time!
390
00:16:39,372 --> 00:16:40,890
Oh, no! No! No!
391
00:16:40,924 --> 00:16:42,958
No, Woody!
392
00:16:42,993 --> 00:16:44,560
No! No more!
393
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,383
I see our serving
wench is here.
394
00:16:52,002 --> 00:16:53,502
I mean, hello,
Miss Howe.
395
00:16:53,536 --> 00:16:56,138
Oh, Woody.
396
00:16:56,173 --> 00:16:58,941
I tell you, you have
no idea how hard it is
397
00:16:58,975 --> 00:17:00,743
to find young fellas
398
00:17:00,777 --> 00:17:03,279
with your stuff
in this day and age.
399
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,315
You ought to see
the buttoned-down brats
400
00:17:05,349 --> 00:17:07,517
my granddaughter
drags home from college.
401
00:17:07,551 --> 00:17:09,802
She really
deserves someone
402
00:17:09,837 --> 00:17:11,170
more solid, someone real.
403
00:17:14,041 --> 00:17:16,926
Someone with
a strong back
404
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,794
and a thick neck,
you know?
405
00:17:18,828 --> 00:17:20,579
Someone like you, Woody.
406
00:17:20,613 --> 00:17:22,482
Thank you, sir. I couldn't.
407
00:17:22,516 --> 00:17:24,567
Yeah, I could.
408
00:17:27,905 --> 00:17:31,373
She's out in Vail right
now on a skiing holiday.
409
00:17:31,408 --> 00:17:34,744
I'm going up
there tomorrow.
410
00:17:34,778 --> 00:17:37,330
Woody, why don't
you join me?
411
00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:38,881
You mean that, Pinky?
412
00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,349
You bet I do.
413
00:17:40,384 --> 00:17:43,185
Well, I don't know if Miss Howe
would be too happy...
414
00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:44,571
Oh, she'll be thrilled.
415
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,573
To my toes.
416
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:47,774
See?
417
00:17:47,808 --> 00:17:49,441
So, great, I'll
go tell Jamison
418
00:17:49,476 --> 00:17:50,910
to arrange it
right now.
419
00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:52,512
Ah!
420
00:17:52,546 --> 00:17:56,882
Woody, where do you
get these things?!
421
00:17:58,752 --> 00:18:00,320
Go figure, Miss Howe.
422
00:18:00,354 --> 00:18:02,222
I mean, you break the vase,
423
00:18:02,256 --> 00:18:05,592
and I end up being
the big boss' buddy.
424
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:08,494
Isn't life funny?
425
00:18:08,529 --> 00:18:10,196
Do you mean funny "ha-ha"
426
00:18:10,230 --> 00:18:12,765
or funny "a living nightmare"?
427
00:18:14,685 --> 00:18:16,019
Is something wrong, Miss Howe?
428
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:18,737
Yes, something is wrong.
429
00:18:18,772 --> 00:18:20,490
I am the one who should
be playing pool.
430
00:18:20,524 --> 00:18:22,891
I'm the one who should
be smoking cigars
and drinking brandy.
431
00:18:22,926 --> 00:18:25,244
I'm the one who should
be going out with
his granddaughter.
432
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,265
You know what I mean.
433
00:18:29,299 --> 00:18:30,516
Well, I'm sorry, Miss Howe.
434
00:18:30,550 --> 00:18:32,418
I was only trying to help.
435
00:18:32,452 --> 00:18:33,652
Okay, Woody, we're all set.
436
00:18:33,686 --> 00:18:36,588
I'll stop by the bar tomorrow
afternoon and pick you up.
437
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,642
Pinky, I have a confession.
438
00:18:40,794 --> 00:18:43,913
I didn't break your vase.
Miss Howe did.
439
00:18:45,698 --> 00:18:48,100
Whew, glad I got that
off my chest.
440
00:18:50,103 --> 00:18:51,888
You broke my vase?
441
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:55,508
Well, actually, yes.
442
00:18:55,542 --> 00:18:58,110
That's the most cowardly thing
I have ever heard.
443
00:18:59,813 --> 00:19:01,914
You'd let this fine young man
take the blame
444
00:19:01,949 --> 00:19:03,466
for your clumsiness?
445
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,534
I don't know,
Miss Howe.
446
00:19:05,569 --> 00:19:07,102
I'm going to have
to seriously reconsider
447
00:19:07,137 --> 00:19:09,906
your future with
our organization.
448
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,473
Uh, Pinky, wait a minute here.
449
00:19:11,508 --> 00:19:13,876
Uh, Miss Howe
is a very nice lady.
450
00:19:13,911 --> 00:19:16,012
Klutzy, sure, but...
451
00:19:16,046 --> 00:19:18,247
she has a heart of gold.
452
00:19:18,281 --> 00:19:20,883
Well... well, all right.
453
00:19:20,917 --> 00:19:24,019
Woody, if you'll vouch
for her, I'll give her
454
00:19:24,054 --> 00:19:26,522
another chance,
I guess.
455
00:19:26,557 --> 00:19:27,856
Thanks, Pinky.
456
00:19:27,891 --> 00:19:30,926
Hey, by the way,
your barn door's open.
457
00:19:33,497 --> 00:19:36,499
Woody!
458
00:19:42,388 --> 00:19:43,990
Hey, everybody.
459
00:19:44,024 --> 00:19:46,292
Look what the shoe fairy
left under my pillow.
460
00:19:47,778 --> 00:19:49,629
Okay, Fox and Hounds,
that's you, Pete.
461
00:19:49,663 --> 00:19:53,032
Uh, Hugh,
you had the Executives.
462
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:54,733
Uh, Norm, you had
the Old Smoothies,
463
00:19:54,767 --> 00:19:55,467
didn't you?
464
00:19:55,502 --> 00:19:56,619
Uh, let's see--
Frasier.
465
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,321
Would you give
those to Frasier?
466
00:19:58,355 --> 00:19:59,672
All right,
who had the, uh, Playboy?
467
00:19:59,707 --> 00:20:01,507
Who else?
468
00:20:06,180 --> 00:20:07,313
Hold it. Hold it.
469
00:20:07,347 --> 00:20:08,664
Wait a minute.
470
00:20:08,698 --> 00:20:11,833
You bought shoes from
Boston's fashion king,
471
00:20:11,868 --> 00:20:13,469
Oh Leg the Weenie?
472
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:14,937
Yeah.
473
00:20:14,971 --> 00:20:17,706
I can't leave you guys
alone for a minute.
474
00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:19,091
Hey, Cliff,
I got to hand it to you.
475
00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:20,292
These are really comfortable.
476
00:20:20,326 --> 00:20:21,394
Eh, you bet ya.
477
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:22,728
What style are these?
478
00:20:22,762 --> 00:20:23,378
The Star Fighter.
479
00:20:23,413 --> 00:20:24,047
Oh.
480
00:20:24,081 --> 00:20:25,565
Yes.
481
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,501
I was sorely tempted
to get the Coup de Villes,
482
00:20:28,535 --> 00:20:31,504
but, uh, I do love
tassels, so...
483
00:20:37,393 --> 00:20:40,879
Cliffie, mine squeak.
484
00:20:40,914 --> 00:20:42,865
Uh, after a few weeks
of constant wear,
485
00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:44,133
it'll be all right.
486
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:51,390
Make it stop.
487
00:20:51,425 --> 00:20:53,025
Normie, what's the big deal?
488
00:20:53,059 --> 00:20:56,195
I mean, squeaky shoes are only
a problem if you're a mugger.
489
00:20:57,647 --> 00:21:01,250
Cliff, mine are
a little squeaky, too.
490
00:21:04,738 --> 00:21:07,206
Mine are squeaking,
too, Cliff.
491
00:21:08,041 --> 00:21:09,542
In E Minor.
492
00:21:15,815 --> 00:21:18,150
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop!
Freeze, everybody.
493
00:21:19,870 --> 00:21:22,688
Back on your barstools
right now. Go on.
494
00:21:26,593 --> 00:21:28,461
Hurry up.
495
00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:30,246
Thank you.
496
00:21:36,787 --> 00:21:37,820
Miss Howe.
497
00:21:39,155 --> 00:21:40,656
May I see you for a moment?
498
00:21:40,690 --> 00:21:42,108
Yes, sir.
499
00:21:42,142 --> 00:21:44,493
He's changed
his mind.
500
00:21:44,528 --> 00:21:45,827
I'm doomed.
501
00:21:45,862 --> 00:21:47,929
hell.
502
00:21:47,964 --> 00:21:49,698
Compliment his tie.
503
00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:56,455
Last night at the party someone
broke an irreplaceable vase.
504
00:21:56,490 --> 00:21:58,658
That's a very nice tie.
505
00:21:59,543 --> 00:22:01,310
Are you listening to me?
506
00:22:02,529 --> 00:22:03,946
We found the remains
in the trash.
507
00:22:03,980 --> 00:22:05,748
Now, is it any
of your people?
508
00:22:05,782 --> 00:22:08,033
You mean you don't
know who broke it?
509
00:22:08,068 --> 00:22:10,402
Unfortunately, I had
a little too much to drink.
510
00:22:10,437 --> 00:22:12,488
The whole evening's
rather foggy.
511
00:22:12,522 --> 00:22:14,223
And you mean you don't
remember anything,
512
00:22:14,258 --> 00:22:17,093
and you have no idea
513
00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:18,477
who did it?
514
00:22:18,512 --> 00:22:19,845
No, but when I find out,
515
00:22:19,879 --> 00:22:22,348
they're going to wish
they never crossed my path.
516
00:22:22,382 --> 00:22:23,599
'Cause I'll find
517
00:22:23,633 --> 00:22:24,850
a way to make
their life
518
00:22:24,884 --> 00:22:26,652
a living hell.
519
00:22:26,686 --> 00:22:27,786
I don't blame you.
520
00:22:27,821 --> 00:22:29,121
And you know, when you
find out who did it,
521
00:22:29,155 --> 00:22:30,522
give me a call, because
I'd like to give them
522
00:22:30,556 --> 00:22:31,790
a piece of my mind.
523
00:22:31,824 --> 00:22:33,508
- Guess who, Pinky?!
- Woody! Woody!
524
00:22:36,663 --> 00:22:39,182
What in God's name
do you think you're doing?
525
00:22:39,216 --> 00:22:42,484
Oh, I'll show you
what I'm doing. Ah!
526
00:22:42,518 --> 00:22:44,770
Noogie!
527
00:22:44,804 --> 00:22:47,406
Who is this madman?
528
00:22:47,441 --> 00:22:49,125
This is Woody Boyd.
529
00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:50,309
Woody,
530
00:22:50,343 --> 00:22:51,811
last night, a very
valuable vase
531
00:22:51,845 --> 00:22:53,645
was broken
at Mr. Collier's.
532
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:57,416
But he doesn't remember
who did it.
533
00:22:57,450 --> 00:22:59,585
Of course he knows
who did it. It was...
534
00:22:59,619 --> 00:23:01,520
Fire! Fire!
535
00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:04,807
What fire?
536
00:23:04,841 --> 00:23:07,025
Now wait. Hold it!
Now hold it.
537
00:23:07,060 --> 00:23:08,327
There is no fire.
538
00:23:09,095 --> 00:23:10,296
She didn't say "fire."
539
00:23:10,330 --> 00:23:13,365
Uh, she said "flyer."
540
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,635
Yes, yes, I thought I saw
Amelia Earhart up there.
541
00:23:16,670 --> 00:23:18,921
Great, uh,
542
00:23:18,956 --> 00:23:20,089
nice save, Rebecca.
543
00:23:25,278 --> 00:23:30,082
What in God's name
is going on here?
544
00:23:30,116 --> 00:23:32,484
Well, it's the, uh...
545
00:23:32,519 --> 00:23:33,920
Squeaky Shoe Club.
546
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:37,289
Look, I intend to get
to the bottom of this.
547
00:23:37,323 --> 00:23:40,625
Now Miss Howe, you were in
charge of that party last night.
548
00:23:40,660 --> 00:23:44,246
Do you or do you not know
who broke my vase?
549
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:45,464
Of course she does.
550
00:23:45,498 --> 00:23:46,348
I certainly do.
551
00:23:46,382 --> 00:23:48,200
It's time the truth
came out.
552
00:23:48,235 --> 00:23:49,402
It was...
Me.
553
00:23:49,436 --> 00:23:52,304
No, Sam.
Yes, Rebecca.
554
00:23:52,339 --> 00:23:54,573
I want to do this.
555
00:23:54,608 --> 00:23:56,609
You, huh?
556
00:23:56,643 --> 00:23:58,377
Sir...
557
00:23:58,411 --> 00:24:00,846
you have grit.
558
00:24:07,854 --> 00:24:10,022
You don't ski by any chance,do you?
40079
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