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1
00:00:01,945 --> 00:00:04,629
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,664 --> 00:00:06,998
Barkeep, pour me a beer.
3
00:00:07,032 --> 00:00:08,650
Uh-oh, Normie.
Flimflam alert.
4
00:00:08,684 --> 00:00:10,285
Uh-uh.
5
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,436
Hey, guys, how you doing?
6
00:00:11,471 --> 00:00:12,354
Pretty good, Harry.
Yeah.
7
00:00:12,388 --> 00:00:13,872
Good to see you.
It's been a long time.
8
00:00:13,907 --> 00:00:14,873
How long's it been?
9
00:00:14,908 --> 00:00:15,874
Well, two to ten,
10
00:00:15,909 --> 00:00:17,809
with time off for good behavior.
11
00:00:20,262 --> 00:00:22,447
Oh, boy,
I need change for this 50.
12
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:23,781
You need change.
13
00:00:23,816 --> 00:00:26,017
Maybe I can help you, huh?
14
00:00:26,051 --> 00:00:27,269
Great.
15
00:00:27,303 --> 00:00:28,503
Hold it, hold it.
16
00:00:28,537 --> 00:00:29,905
Oh, come on, guys.
17
00:00:29,939 --> 00:00:31,140
Give me a break.
18
00:00:31,174 --> 00:00:32,641
I'm a reformed man.
19
00:00:32,675 --> 00:00:33,625
Oh, yeah?
20
00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:34,877
Well, maybe you
wouldn't mind
21
00:00:34,911 --> 00:00:36,879
if we monitored this
little transaction.
Yeah.
22
00:00:36,913 --> 00:00:40,082
Wouldn't mind at all.
23
00:00:40,116 --> 00:00:42,684
Okay,
you got 50 bucks.
24
00:00:42,718 --> 00:00:44,519
Here's one, two, three,
four, five.
25
00:00:44,553 --> 00:00:45,270
Norm, what time is it?
26
00:00:45,304 --> 00:00:46,388
11:00.
11, hmm?
27
00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:48,056
12, 13, 14.
28
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,858
Gee, my watch must be fast.
29
00:00:49,892 --> 00:00:51,026
I got, uh, 11:25.
30
00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:52,361
26, 27,
31
00:00:52,395 --> 00:00:53,462
28. Cliff,
32
00:00:53,496 --> 00:00:55,497
you have not aged a day.
How old are you?
33
00:00:55,532 --> 00:00:56,631
Oh... 39.
34
00:00:56,665 --> 00:00:58,000
39. 40, 41, forty...
35
00:00:58,034 --> 00:00:59,167
Wait.
36
00:00:59,201 --> 00:01:00,168
You can't be that old.
37
00:01:00,202 --> 00:01:01,136
When were you born?
38
00:01:01,170 --> 00:01:01,970
'47.
39
00:01:02,005 --> 00:01:02,904
48, 49, 50.
40
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,022
There you go, barkeep.
41
00:01:04,057 --> 00:01:05,023
Thank you.
42
00:01:05,058 --> 00:01:06,391
Good to see you, guys.
43
00:01:06,425 --> 00:01:07,926
Yeah.
44
00:01:07,961 --> 00:01:10,428
Hey, Sam, long time no see.
45
00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:14,066
What was Harry the Hat
doing here?
46
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:15,667
He just came
in for a beer.
47
00:01:15,702 --> 00:01:16,702
Oh.
48
00:01:16,736 --> 00:01:17,736
And some change.
49
00:01:17,770 --> 00:01:19,871
Oh...
50
00:01:25,060 --> 00:01:27,628
¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
51
00:01:27,663 --> 00:01:30,631
¶ Takes everything you've got
52
00:01:30,666 --> 00:01:33,468
¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
53
00:01:33,502 --> 00:01:36,571
¶ Sure would help a lot
54
00:01:36,605 --> 00:01:42,143
¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
55
00:01:42,178 --> 00:01:45,013
¶ Sometimes you want to go
56
00:01:45,048 --> 00:01:49,601
¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
57
00:01:49,636 --> 00:01:54,840
¶ And they're always glad
you came ¶
58
00:01:54,874 --> 00:01:56,842
¶ You want to be
where you can see ¶
59
00:01:56,876 --> 00:01:59,845
¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
60
00:01:59,879 --> 00:02:04,616
¶ You want to be where everybody
knows your name ¶
61
00:02:04,651 --> 00:02:07,753
¶ You want to go
where people know ¶
62
00:02:07,787 --> 00:02:09,888
¶ People are all the same
63
00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:14,459
¶ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ¶
64
00:02:32,077 --> 00:02:33,578
Afternoon, everybody.
65
00:02:33,613 --> 00:02:35,347
Norm.
66
00:02:35,381 --> 00:02:36,615
How's life treating you?
67
00:02:36,649 --> 00:02:38,567
It's not, Sammy,
but that doesn't mean you can't.
68
00:02:40,603 --> 00:02:42,237
Uh, boy, I'd love to, man,
69
00:02:42,272 --> 00:02:44,473
but I don't have a dime
to my name.
70
00:02:44,507 --> 00:02:46,158
And my boat sank
and everything...
71
00:02:46,192 --> 00:02:48,260
Yeah, I know--
the bottom of the Caribbean.
72
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:50,094
What is that,
the 17th or 18th time
73
00:02:50,129 --> 00:02:51,263
we heard that speech?
74
00:02:53,333 --> 00:02:54,032
Oh, hey, Normie?
75
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:54,649
Listen, that was
76
00:02:54,683 --> 00:02:56,701
great meat loaf last night, huh?
77
00:02:56,736 --> 00:02:57,786
It was, wasn't it?
78
00:02:57,820 --> 00:02:59,054
You know, uh,
79
00:02:59,088 --> 00:03:00,421
Cliff, I've been meaning
to talk to you.
80
00:03:00,456 --> 00:03:01,389
Hmm?
I don't mind
81
00:03:01,423 --> 00:03:02,908
you staying with us
for a little while
82
00:03:02,942 --> 00:03:05,010
till you get your new place,
but, uh, it's beginning
83
00:03:05,044 --> 00:03:06,678
to be a little bit
of a problem for Vera.
84
00:03:06,712 --> 00:03:09,014
The dishes,
the bed,
85
00:03:09,048 --> 00:03:11,049
the way you leave the bathroom
in the morning.
86
00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:13,852
You got to start leaving
something for her to do, pal.
87
00:03:13,886 --> 00:03:16,153
I mean,
88
00:03:16,188 --> 00:03:18,155
she wants to spend time with me.
89
00:03:21,694 --> 00:03:24,028
Booze, Woody, and quickly.
90
00:03:24,062 --> 00:03:24,947
What's the
matter, Dr. Crane?
91
00:03:24,981 --> 00:03:26,114
Oh, I'm devastated.
92
00:03:26,149 --> 00:03:28,450
I need something
expeditious and brutal
93
00:03:28,484 --> 00:03:30,185
to numb my sensibilities
94
00:03:30,219 --> 00:03:33,288
and blast me
into sweet oblivion.
95
00:03:33,323 --> 00:03:34,556
How about a boilermaker?
96
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:35,874
Make it a mimosa.
97
00:03:38,978 --> 00:03:40,511
What's got you so upset?
98
00:03:40,546 --> 00:03:42,847
Some college professor
has just published an article
99
00:03:42,882 --> 00:03:45,016
that refutes everything I said
in my last paper.
100
00:03:45,051 --> 00:03:47,518
Sounds like a shoot-out
at the cuckoo corral.
101
00:03:48,754 --> 00:03:50,605
What could motivate an honored
102
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,507
and distinguished colleague
103
00:03:52,541 --> 00:03:55,176
to launch a personal attack
like this?
104
00:03:55,210 --> 00:03:56,995
Well, now, maybe it's just a,
you know,
105
00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:59,131
honest difference of opinion
between scholars.
106
00:03:59,165 --> 00:04:01,366
Oh, goose poop, Sam,
the man's a yahoo.
107
00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:05,604
Hey, Sammy?
108
00:04:05,638 --> 00:04:06,671
Mm-hmm.
109
00:04:06,706 --> 00:04:07,839
You want to see
110
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,008
what makes Rebecca's
loins ache?
111
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,209
Sure.
112
00:04:11,243 --> 00:04:12,510
Well, he just
walked in.
113
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,213
It's the great and
powerful Evan Drake.
114
00:04:15,247 --> 00:04:16,314
See to my table upstairs.
115
00:04:16,348 --> 00:04:17,315
Uh, yes, sir.
116
00:04:17,349 --> 00:04:18,916
She's skipping the thrill ride
117
00:04:18,951 --> 00:04:21,119
that's Sammy Land for that?
118
00:04:23,522 --> 00:04:24,822
While I think of it,
119
00:04:24,857 --> 00:04:26,657
take care of that
telex to Paris.
120
00:04:26,692 --> 00:04:27,993
First thing tomorrow.
121
00:04:28,027 --> 00:04:29,194
Now.
122
00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:31,262
Uh, yes, sir.
123
00:04:31,297 --> 00:04:33,281
What's she see in him?
124
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:35,349
Money, power,
prestige.
125
00:04:35,384 --> 00:04:37,552
Yeah, but I'm several inches
taller than him.
126
00:04:39,422 --> 00:04:41,289
Sam Malone.
127
00:04:42,391 --> 00:04:43,491
Evan Drake.
How do you do?
128
00:04:43,526 --> 00:04:45,359
I've been looking forward
to meeting you.
129
00:04:45,394 --> 00:04:47,028
I was a big fan of yours.
130
00:04:47,062 --> 00:04:48,863
Oh. Any fan of mine
is certainly welcome here,
131
00:04:48,898 --> 00:04:51,265
especially one
who could fire me like a shot.
132
00:04:52,568 --> 00:04:53,334
What can I get you?
133
00:04:53,368 --> 00:04:55,253
You got some 20-year-old Scotch?
134
00:04:55,287 --> 00:04:56,137
Uh, no, but we got some pretzels
135
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,522
that have been around
for a while here.
136
00:04:58,991 --> 00:05:00,191
How about a Dewar's, huh?
137
00:05:00,225 --> 00:05:01,392
That'll do it.
138
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:04,762
So, Mr. Drake,
139
00:05:04,797 --> 00:05:07,198
things are going pretty
good at the old bar.
140
00:05:07,232 --> 00:05:08,600
Well, I'm glad
to hear that.
141
00:05:08,634 --> 00:05:10,201
We sank a lot
of bucks into it.
142
00:05:10,235 --> 00:05:12,136
Oh, boy, don't talk to me
about sinking, man.
143
00:05:12,170 --> 00:05:13,137
I lost my boat and...
144
00:05:13,171 --> 00:05:14,606
Yeah, I heard.
145
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:16,374
Oh.
146
00:05:20,513 --> 00:05:22,647
I remember
watching you pitch, Sam.
147
00:05:22,681 --> 00:05:24,416
I'll bet you got a lot
of great stories, huh?
148
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:25,650
Well, yeah.
149
00:05:25,684 --> 00:05:26,367
I got a million of 'em.
150
00:05:26,402 --> 00:05:27,852
Hold still, I'll
be right there.
151
00:05:27,887 --> 00:05:29,921
Mr. Drake, they're ready
for you upstairs now.
152
00:05:30,990 --> 00:05:32,140
I'll tell them to wait.
153
00:05:34,076 --> 00:05:36,344
You know how people are
always catching you naked
154
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,179
when you don't
want them to?
155
00:05:38,214 --> 00:05:39,714
Well, this time...
156
00:05:39,748 --> 00:05:41,449
Can you settle
an argument here?
157
00:05:41,484 --> 00:05:42,617
How much you figure
158
00:05:42,652 --> 00:05:44,852
a guy like that pays
for his socks?
159
00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:46,637
...I don't want
to talk to anybody...
160
00:05:46,671 --> 00:05:49,140
I've seen those
at Barney's.
161
00:05:49,175 --> 00:05:51,409
They're about
75 a pair.
162
00:05:52,578 --> 00:05:55,046
Even I pay a dollar for mine.
163
00:05:55,081 --> 00:05:56,881
The next thing I know,
164
00:05:56,916 --> 00:05:59,450
there's a guys
standing next to me...
165
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,519
So there I am in
the locker room
166
00:06:01,553 --> 00:06:04,856
signing the game ball
for this guy, buck naked.
167
00:06:04,890 --> 00:06:06,991
I tell you, I'll never
forget his name,
168
00:06:07,026 --> 00:06:08,426
because it was
so unusual.
169
00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:09,427
Ueberroth.
170
00:06:09,461 --> 00:06:10,795
Peter Ueberroth--
171
00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:12,931
the Baseball Commissioner?
172
00:06:12,965 --> 00:06:14,933
Uh, that's where the story
kind of falls apart.
173
00:06:14,967 --> 00:06:17,602
I'll be right back.
174
00:06:18,771 --> 00:06:20,071
Where you been?
175
00:06:20,106 --> 00:06:21,572
I had to change
a flat.
176
00:06:21,607 --> 00:06:22,741
Mr. Drake's here.
177
00:06:22,775 --> 00:06:25,910
Carla, don't even think
of joking about that.
178
00:06:25,945 --> 00:06:26,694
Hello, Mr. Drake.
179
00:06:27,813 --> 00:06:29,013
Oh, my God.
180
00:06:29,048 --> 00:06:30,448
I didn't know you'd be here.
181
00:06:30,482 --> 00:06:31,715
I look messy.
182
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:34,452
Close your eyes.
Not you, Woody.
183
00:06:37,456 --> 00:06:38,656
An attractive woman.
184
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,091
A little jumpy, though.
185
00:06:40,125 --> 00:06:43,661
Yeah, but she makes
it work somehow, doesn't she?
186
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,563
You know, some of the guys
down at corporate
187
00:06:45,597 --> 00:06:47,832
have asked her out,
but she always shot them down.
188
00:06:48,767 --> 00:06:50,268
You tried your luck
with her yet?
189
00:06:50,302 --> 00:06:51,786
Oh, no. I have a rule
190
00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:54,422
about not dating
people I work with.
191
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:55,723
Struck out, huh?
192
00:06:55,758 --> 00:06:57,191
Every time.
193
00:06:59,995 --> 00:07:01,663
Yeah, you know,
194
00:07:01,697 --> 00:07:03,130
some of the guys
there in the office
195
00:07:03,165 --> 00:07:04,766
think she's a...
196
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:05,767
What?
197
00:07:05,801 --> 00:07:08,169
...a lady's lady.
198
00:07:10,439 --> 00:07:13,441
Rebec...? Oh, no.
199
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,510
Oh, I can't believe it.
200
00:07:15,544 --> 00:07:17,545
I'm so sorry, Mr. Drake.
201
00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:19,514
I would have been
here sooner,
202
00:07:19,548 --> 00:07:21,383
but I was working
on my car.
203
00:07:28,691 --> 00:07:30,124
Uh...
204
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:33,395
well, I got
a lunch partner.
205
00:07:33,429 --> 00:07:35,697
Well, you know
it was really nice
206
00:07:35,731 --> 00:07:36,931
to see you again.
207
00:07:36,965 --> 00:07:39,634
Even if it was just
for a short while.
208
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,769
Oh, by the way,
209
00:07:40,803 --> 00:07:42,704
I'm hosting a little
party Friday night
210
00:07:42,738 --> 00:07:44,038
for some of
the key people.
211
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,774
I would love it
if you could come.
212
00:07:45,808 --> 00:07:47,108
Oh, Mr. Drake,
I'd-I'd-I'd-I'd...
213
00:07:47,142 --> 00:07:49,343
...really love that.
214
00:07:49,378 --> 00:07:50,779
That's great.
215
00:07:50,813 --> 00:07:53,481
8:00, my club,
black tie.
216
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:54,916
Yeah, here's the address.
217
00:07:54,950 --> 00:07:55,917
And bring a date.
218
00:07:55,951 --> 00:08:00,087
Uh, or a companion,
or whatever.
219
00:08:00,122 --> 00:08:01,489
Sam.
220
00:08:06,829 --> 00:08:08,763
I wonder what he meant
221
00:08:08,798 --> 00:08:11,783
by "a companion
or a whatever."
222
00:08:11,817 --> 00:08:12,950
Who knows?
223
00:08:14,420 --> 00:08:16,654
What's so funny?
224
00:08:16,689 --> 00:08:21,225
Uh, well, it seems that
the love of your life there
225
00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:23,661
thinks that because
he's never seen you date anybody
226
00:08:23,696 --> 00:08:25,162
that maybe you...
227
00:08:25,197 --> 00:08:27,532
well, prefer ladies.
228
00:08:29,368 --> 00:08:31,469
You-you set him straight,
didn't you?
229
00:08:31,504 --> 00:08:33,838
Based on what?
230
00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:39,878
God, I...
I can't believe this.
231
00:08:39,912 --> 00:08:41,279
He's all I ever
think about,
232
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:42,747
and now he thinks
that I'm...
233
00:08:42,782 --> 00:08:46,250
Yeah, yeah,
it's a nutty world, isn't it?
234
00:08:46,285 --> 00:08:49,053
You know something,
though--
235
00:08:49,087 --> 00:08:50,855
I'm bet you could change
his mind real quick
236
00:08:50,890 --> 00:08:52,524
if you were to show up
at his party
237
00:08:52,558 --> 00:08:53,858
just crawling all over
238
00:08:53,893 --> 00:08:57,529
this incredibly good-looking,
hot, macho stud.
239
00:08:58,564 --> 00:09:00,799
You for instance?
240
00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:02,901
You recognized
the description.
241
00:09:02,935 --> 00:09:05,804
Look, Sam,
just because I put my work
242
00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:07,805
before my social life,
does not mean
243
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,207
I don't have boyfriends.
244
00:09:09,241 --> 00:09:10,208
I have boyfriends.
245
00:09:10,242 --> 00:09:11,209
I could pick up that phone
246
00:09:11,243 --> 00:09:12,476
and have a dozen dates
for Friday night.
247
00:09:12,511 --> 00:09:14,012
Yeah, but could you get one
248
00:09:14,046 --> 00:09:15,446
as great looking as I am?
249
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:16,514
Blindfolded, gagged
250
00:09:16,548 --> 00:09:18,816
and with both hands
tied behind my back.
251
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:25,990
We were just talking
about a party Friday night.
252
00:09:28,343 --> 00:09:29,527
Sammy, where is it,
253
00:09:29,562 --> 00:09:31,563
and what time
should I be there?
254
00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:37,468
Good evening, Sam.
255
00:09:37,503 --> 00:09:38,269
Hey.
256
00:09:38,387 --> 00:09:40,955
Can I, uh, get a glass of water.
257
00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:44,025
Got the hiccups, huh?
258
00:09:44,059 --> 00:09:46,494
Yes. It's merely psychosomatic.
259
00:09:47,529 --> 00:09:49,563
I guess I'm still
upset about
260
00:09:49,598 --> 00:09:50,130
that journalistic
261
00:09:50,165 --> 00:09:51,081
stab in the back.
262
00:09:52,534 --> 00:09:54,501
You ought to put
a bag over your head.
No, no.
263
00:09:54,536 --> 00:09:56,237
I'd look ridiculous.
264
00:09:56,271 --> 00:10:00,258
I'm just going to do what
my mother always taught me.
265
00:10:03,295 --> 00:10:07,031
Oh, yeah, you're right,
the bag would look silly.
266
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:10,901
There.
Hey.
267
00:10:10,936 --> 00:10:12,837
Oh, damn.
268
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:18,943
Wow, Miss Howe.
269
00:10:18,977 --> 00:10:23,514
You look pretty enough
to take to a barn dance.
270
00:10:23,549 --> 00:10:25,033
Thank you.
271
00:10:26,869 --> 00:10:30,271
Sam, when I'm gone tonight,
I want...
272
00:10:31,740 --> 00:10:34,475
Why are you wearing
a tuxedo?
273
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,361
Why does Superman
wear a cape?
274
00:10:38,163 --> 00:10:39,797
To rescue people.
275
00:10:39,832 --> 00:10:42,700
This is your big
party night, isn't it?
276
00:10:42,735 --> 00:10:43,467
Yes.
277
00:10:43,502 --> 00:10:45,753
He did tell you to invite
somebody, didn't he?
278
00:10:45,787 --> 00:10:48,022
Yes, and I did--
an old boyfriend Ryan.
279
00:10:48,056 --> 00:10:49,040
Oh, really?
280
00:10:49,074 --> 00:10:50,875
Yes, and it wasn't
an easy decision.
281
00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:51,876
Yeah, I'll bet not.
282
00:10:51,911 --> 00:10:53,377
I thought about
asking Steve,
283
00:10:53,412 --> 00:10:55,346
but he had a modeling gig
in New York.
284
00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:57,348
And then Jean Pierre
is such a bore.
285
00:10:59,150 --> 00:11:01,085
Keep humming, though.
Keep humming.
286
00:11:02,304 --> 00:11:04,305
Keep it up. Keep
humming. come on.
287
00:11:08,010 --> 00:11:09,511
I think it worked.
288
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,214
Frasier, I'm
telling you,
289
00:11:13,249 --> 00:11:15,283
you should put a
bag on your head.
290
00:11:15,317 --> 00:11:17,318
Carla, I'm not putting
any...
291
00:11:17,352 --> 00:11:18,920
...bag on my head.
292
00:11:18,954 --> 00:11:20,321
Oh, give me the damn bag.
293
00:11:22,357 --> 00:11:23,791
You know what else
I found works,
294
00:11:23,826 --> 00:11:25,693
is putting a lemon
in your mouth.
295
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,461
Wait a minute,
you can actually
296
00:11:27,495 --> 00:11:29,330
get a whole lemon
in your mouth?
297
00:11:29,364 --> 00:11:31,465
Well, young man,
let's take a trip
298
00:11:31,499 --> 00:11:33,534
over to Mr. Wizard's
laboratory.
299
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,169
Yeah?
300
00:11:37,873 --> 00:11:39,606
Woody...
301
00:11:39,641 --> 00:11:42,310
What's this message,
"Urgent. See Woody"?
302
00:11:42,344 --> 00:11:44,545
Oh, right.
303
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:47,781
Uh, Ryan from
the escort service called,
304
00:11:47,816 --> 00:11:49,783
said there a mistake
in the booking.
305
00:11:49,818 --> 00:11:51,352
He couldn't make
it tonight.
306
00:11:51,386 --> 00:11:52,720
Said to be discrete about it.
307
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,521
That's why I wrote
the note that way.
308
00:11:58,626 --> 00:12:01,829
Sweetheart, can you help me
with my cufflinks?
309
00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:06,234
Sam, you are not
going with me.
310
00:12:06,268 --> 00:12:07,368
No way.
311
00:12:07,402 --> 00:12:09,470
An escort service?
312
00:12:09,504 --> 00:12:12,606
You couldn't get a date
from an escort service?
313
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:14,558
I am not going
with you.
314
00:12:14,593 --> 00:12:16,527
There are a lot of people
that hang out here
315
00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:17,895
that I'd rather
be seen with.
316
00:12:23,051 --> 00:12:24,452
Dr. Crane would probably
317
00:12:24,486 --> 00:12:27,788
enjoy a stylish evening
with refined company.
318
00:12:27,822 --> 00:12:30,258
I'm cured.
I think I'm cured.
319
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:32,377
I think I'm cured!
320
00:12:32,411 --> 00:12:34,044
Just remember now,
321
00:12:34,079 --> 00:12:36,581
I don't go all the way
on the first date.
322
00:13:00,505 --> 00:13:03,240
Do you think that's her?
323
00:13:03,274 --> 00:13:05,576
This is ridiculous.
324
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:07,177
Listen, uh, why
don't you let me
325
00:13:07,212 --> 00:13:08,612
freshen your
drink up there,
326
00:13:08,647 --> 00:13:10,514
and I'll find out
if that's his wife.
327
00:13:10,549 --> 00:13:12,383
I'm not even thirsty.
328
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,718
Don't be obvious.
329
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,258
Uh, do that again there,
will you, partner?
330
00:13:21,293 --> 00:13:23,761
Nice party.
331
00:13:23,796 --> 00:13:25,162
Ah, glad you like it.
332
00:13:25,197 --> 00:13:26,531
Yeah, yeah.
333
00:13:26,565 --> 00:13:28,649
I guess
I was way off base
334
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:29,750
about Rebecca,
wasn't I?
335
00:13:29,784 --> 00:13:31,285
Oh, yeah, way
off, way off.
336
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:32,886
On the way over
in the car,
337
00:13:32,921 --> 00:13:35,156
she was all over me
like a cat in heat.
338
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:41,162
Interesting.
339
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:42,913
Say, uh, I haven't
met your wife here.
340
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,516
Oh, no, that's not her.
341
00:13:45,550 --> 00:13:47,751
Uh, she's in Bora Bora.
342
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,987
Oh, uh, visiting family?
343
00:13:52,991 --> 00:13:57,061
Actually, we're, uh,
we're separated, Sam.
344
00:13:57,096 --> 00:13:58,529
Oh, oh, well,
that's too bad,
345
00:13:58,564 --> 00:14:01,032
'cause she's missing a
heck of a party here.
346
00:14:01,066 --> 00:14:02,667
Well, thanks a lot.
347
00:14:05,537 --> 00:14:07,404
Well?
348
00:14:07,439 --> 00:14:08,890
She's in Bora Bora.
349
00:14:08,924 --> 00:14:10,424
They're separated.
350
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:12,193
I knew it.
351
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,495
I knew it, I knew it.
352
00:14:14,529 --> 00:14:15,946
You know,
I gotta tell you,
353
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,448
I'm a little bit
confused here.
354
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,050
The red sauce is
for the shrimp,
355
00:14:19,084 --> 00:14:20,617
and the mustard's
for the egg roll.
356
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:21,785
That's not what I meant.
357
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,220
But thanks.
358
00:14:23,255 --> 00:14:24,588
No, I was just wondering...
359
00:14:24,622 --> 00:14:26,890
why haven't you made
a play for this guy?
360
00:14:26,925 --> 00:14:29,160
I mean, how long have
you been carrying a torch?
361
00:14:29,194 --> 00:14:30,261
It's not a torch.
362
00:14:30,295 --> 00:14:31,429
What a silly expression.
363
00:14:31,463 --> 00:14:32,896
I am not
carrying a torch.
364
00:14:32,931 --> 00:14:34,165
All right.
365
00:14:34,199 --> 00:14:35,933
Two years.
366
00:14:35,967 --> 00:14:38,202
Two years?
367
00:14:38,236 --> 00:14:39,736
You haven't dated?
368
00:14:42,307 --> 00:14:43,974
You haven't done
anything with anybody
369
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,943
for two years?
370
00:14:45,977 --> 00:14:49,346
My God, what happens
to a person's body?
371
00:14:49,381 --> 00:14:50,981
You haven't given
him a clue?
372
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:53,217
You didn't how you
feel or anything?
373
00:14:54,986 --> 00:14:56,554
Oh, sweetheart.
374
00:14:56,588 --> 00:14:58,489
You got
to tell him tonight
375
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,991
before you explode
or something.
376
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:03,561
I can't.
377
00:15:03,595 --> 00:15:05,696
I wouldn't know
what to say.
378
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,682
Well, hell, I'll
tell you what.
379
00:15:07,716 --> 00:15:09,149
Let's rehearse it
right here,
380
00:15:09,184 --> 00:15:10,484
just the two of us.
381
00:15:10,519 --> 00:15:12,019
You really think
that'll work?
382
00:15:12,053 --> 00:15:14,288
Absolutely--
just pretend
383
00:15:14,323 --> 00:15:15,956
that I'm Mr. Drake here,
and you've finally
384
00:15:15,990 --> 00:15:17,958
gotten me alone
and you're going to tell me.
385
00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:20,711
Okay. Okay.
386
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:23,747
Mr. Drake...
387
00:15:23,782 --> 00:15:26,200
No... Evan.
388
00:15:26,234 --> 00:15:28,536
Evan...
389
00:15:28,570 --> 00:15:30,354
No, no. With feeling.
390
00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:35,143
Evan.
391
00:15:36,145 --> 00:15:37,978
Yeah, that's good,
that's good.
392
00:15:38,013 --> 00:15:40,681
Now, uh, run your hand
up my thigh, here.
393
00:15:41,716 --> 00:15:43,284
Wait a minute...
394
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,084
No, no, trust me.
395
00:15:44,119 --> 00:15:45,502
Guys think that's charming.
396
00:15:46,839 --> 00:15:48,005
I just want to leave.
397
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,807
No. Hey, listen.
398
00:15:49,842 --> 00:15:52,977
You're never gonna find
a better time than this.
399
00:15:53,011 --> 00:15:55,163
I mean, he just
separated with his wife,
400
00:15:55,197 --> 00:15:56,797
he's here alone,
we're at a party,
401
00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:57,831
you look terrific.
402
00:15:57,866 --> 00:15:59,016
Now, call me crazy,
403
00:15:59,050 --> 00:16:01,719
but this could be
the perfect moment.
404
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:03,220
You're right.
Yeah.
405
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:05,890
I have to seize
the moment.
406
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:08,659
There you go.
407
00:16:08,693 --> 00:16:10,260
Good girl.
408
00:16:15,317 --> 00:16:16,850
Mr. Drake?
409
00:16:16,885 --> 00:16:18,786
Yes, Rebecca?
410
00:16:18,820 --> 00:16:19,987
Take me.
411
00:16:25,310 --> 00:16:27,244
What the hell are you doing?
I'm sorry. Oh,
I'm so sorry.
412
00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:28,746
Sam, I think
she needs to go home.
413
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,247
No, I don't
need to go home.
414
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:31,882
Good night.
415
00:16:37,723 --> 00:16:39,623
I'm humiliated.
416
00:16:39,657 --> 00:16:40,825
I know. Come on.
417
00:16:40,859 --> 00:16:42,860
And disgraced.
418
00:16:42,894 --> 00:16:44,829
I'm going to
kill myself.
419
00:16:44,863 --> 00:16:46,363
I still think
that thigh thing
420
00:16:46,397 --> 00:16:47,732
would have been charming.
421
00:16:56,191 --> 00:16:58,025
Cheers.
422
00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,161
Oh, hi, Mrs. Peterson.
423
00:17:00,195 --> 00:17:01,528
Yeah, just a minute.
424
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:07,301
Hello. Hi, Vera.
425
00:17:07,335 --> 00:17:09,703
Whoa. That's great news.
426
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:10,771
Great.
427
00:17:10,805 --> 00:17:12,806
Cliffie. Here,
she wants to talk to you.
428
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:13,974
Me? Huh.
429
00:17:14,008 --> 00:17:16,210
So, uh, what's the good news?
430
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:18,712
That she wants
to talk to you.
431
00:17:20,148 --> 00:17:22,449
Yeah, Vera.
432
00:17:22,484 --> 00:17:23,784
Oh?
433
00:17:23,818 --> 00:17:27,388
Well, uh, uh, you following
the recipe exactly?
434
00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:28,489
Oh, gee,
no, Vera, look.
435
00:17:28,523 --> 00:17:29,823
It's supposed to be
436
00:17:29,857 --> 00:17:31,225
two cups of water,
not vinegar.
437
00:17:33,228 --> 00:17:35,663
No, uh, get ahold
of yourself, now, Vera.
438
00:17:35,697 --> 00:17:38,365
Y-y-you're making a cake,
not building a bomb.
439
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,619
He obviously hasn't had
her tuna casserole.
440
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,860
¶ Hello, young lovers
441
00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:51,695
¶ Wherever you are
442
00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:54,531
¶ I hope your troubles
are few... ¶
443
00:17:57,902 --> 00:17:59,469
Stupid.
444
00:18:00,505 --> 00:18:02,840
Hey, Woody.
445
00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:04,407
Where is Rebecca?
446
00:18:04,442 --> 00:18:06,043
Uh, she was just
playing the jukebox
447
00:18:06,077 --> 00:18:08,846
then she went into the office.
448
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,348
Thank you.
449
00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:13,133
Yeah. I'll be right over.
450
00:18:13,168 --> 00:18:14,801
Oh, I gotta
get over there, Normie.
451
00:18:14,836 --> 00:18:17,338
She's-she's up to her armpits
in batter.
452
00:18:17,372 --> 00:18:19,206
You don't mind if I stay, Cliff.
453
00:18:19,241 --> 00:18:20,707
I've already seen that.
454
00:18:20,742 --> 00:18:22,910
Yeah.
455
00:18:22,944 --> 00:18:23,977
Don't blame me.
456
00:18:24,012 --> 00:18:25,312
I told you
to talk to the guy,
457
00:18:25,346 --> 00:18:27,648
not inhale his gum.
458
00:18:27,682 --> 00:18:29,583
I couldn't
help myself.
459
00:18:29,618 --> 00:18:31,318
Yeah, well, at least you know
how he feels now--
460
00:18:31,352 --> 00:18:32,720
he's not interested.
461
00:18:32,754 --> 00:18:34,054
Who wanted to know that?
462
00:18:34,089 --> 00:18:35,923
You did. You were
miserable not knowing.
463
00:18:35,957 --> 00:18:37,724
I was happy being miserable.
464
00:18:37,759 --> 00:18:39,126
Now you've ruined it.
465
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,327
Oh, listen.
Now, just...
466
00:18:40,361 --> 00:18:42,063
Come on, sit down
here, will you?
467
00:18:42,097 --> 00:18:43,064
Relax, please.
468
00:18:43,098 --> 00:18:44,331
Just, you know, just...
469
00:18:44,365 --> 00:18:45,700
Could I have this?
470
00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:53,641
I'm probably gonna lose my job.
471
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,025
Oh, right. Sure.
He's gonna come over here
472
00:18:55,059 --> 00:18:56,961
and fire you
because of one lousy kiss.
473
00:18:56,995 --> 00:18:58,696
Talk about paranoid.
474
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:02,299
Miss Howe.
Mr. Drake's here to see you.
475
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:04,702
Talk about coincidence.
476
00:19:04,736 --> 00:19:05,836
I'm dead.
477
00:19:05,871 --> 00:19:06,937
No, you're not.
478
00:19:06,972 --> 00:19:09,439
Now, I'll take care of this.
Uh...
479
00:19:09,474 --> 00:19:11,441
Woody, can you stall
for a minute there?
480
00:19:11,476 --> 00:19:12,426
Sure.
481
00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:14,094
You know, in high school,
482
00:19:14,129 --> 00:19:16,297
I entered
the 4-H Club...
483
00:19:16,331 --> 00:19:18,432
Not us, Woody-- him, him.
484
00:19:18,466 --> 00:19:19,216
Not us, him.
485
00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:20,567
Out there, boy.
Come on.
486
00:19:20,601 --> 00:19:21,652
Okay?
487
00:19:21,686 --> 00:19:23,320
Sure, Sam.
488
00:19:23,355 --> 00:19:26,290
Would it have killed you
to be a little more specific?
489
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,544
What am I going to do?
490
00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:31,629
Well, just wait. Uh...
491
00:19:31,663 --> 00:19:33,597
Well, all right,
I'll-I'll go out there
492
00:19:33,632 --> 00:19:34,665
and I'll tell him, uh,
493
00:19:34,699 --> 00:19:35,833
that you were bombed
494
00:19:35,867 --> 00:19:37,401
and that
it didn't mean anything.
495
00:19:37,435 --> 00:19:38,502
Terrific. Wonderful image.
496
00:19:38,536 --> 00:19:40,404
A girl goes to a party
and gets hammered,
497
00:19:40,438 --> 00:19:41,638
then turns promiscuous.
498
00:19:41,673 --> 00:19:43,124
Well, all right,
all right, uh...
499
00:19:43,158 --> 00:19:44,791
I'll-I'll tell him
that, uh,
500
00:19:44,826 --> 00:19:46,560
that you were trying
to make me jealous
501
00:19:46,595 --> 00:19:48,362
'cause you're crazy
in love with me.
502
00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:51,081
That's...
503
00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:54,685
Let me see.
504
00:19:54,719 --> 00:19:55,886
My choices are
505
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,355
I'm a boozy slut...
506
00:19:58,390 --> 00:20:01,157
or a complete idiot.
507
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,478
I'd go with the idiot.
508
00:20:04,512 --> 00:20:06,797
I already did.
509
00:20:09,433 --> 00:20:12,669
So, that's how we
knew, beyond a doubt,
510
00:20:12,704 --> 00:20:15,088
that we were putting
way, way too much bran
511
00:20:15,123 --> 00:20:17,291
in the pig's fodder.
512
00:20:23,481 --> 00:20:24,615
Hi, Evan.
513
00:20:24,649 --> 00:20:25,616
Oh, Sam...
514
00:20:25,650 --> 00:20:26,750
What are you
doing here, huh?
515
00:20:26,785 --> 00:20:28,185
Well, I was on my
way to the airport,
516
00:20:28,219 --> 00:20:29,386
and I thought
I'd come by here
517
00:20:29,420 --> 00:20:31,354
and clear this matter
up before I left.
518
00:20:31,389 --> 00:20:32,990
Oh, yeah, listen,
I gotta tell you,
519
00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:35,258
that whole thing
at the party was my fault.
520
00:20:35,293 --> 00:20:36,610
I mean,
we had had a little tiff,
521
00:20:36,645 --> 00:20:38,779
and she was trying
to make me jealous.
Yeah,
522
00:20:38,813 --> 00:20:40,113
I figured it was
something like that.
523
00:20:40,148 --> 00:20:41,482
Yeah.
Yeah.
524
00:20:41,516 --> 00:20:42,550
Well, I better
go back there
525
00:20:42,584 --> 00:20:43,884
and apologize to her.
526
00:20:43,918 --> 00:20:45,219
Wait, wa...
527
00:20:45,253 --> 00:20:46,853
You're going to apologize?
528
00:20:46,888 --> 00:20:48,188
Well, yeah,
I overreacted.
529
00:20:48,222 --> 00:20:49,823
I was a little
rough on her.
530
00:20:49,858 --> 00:20:50,824
Oh.
531
00:20:50,859 --> 00:20:51,825
Yeah.
532
00:20:51,860 --> 00:20:53,059
Uh, actually, uh,
533
00:20:53,094 --> 00:20:54,495
give me a second here,
will you? Um...
534
00:20:54,529 --> 00:20:55,996
She probably
needs to freshen up.
535
00:20:56,030 --> 00:20:57,831
She's pretty upset
by this whole thing.
536
00:20:57,866 --> 00:21:02,135
Her mascara's probably
down in her shoes by now.
537
00:21:02,169 --> 00:21:05,055
How much do I owe you
for that, bartender?
538
00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:06,440
Oh, no charge, Mr. Drake.
539
00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,909
I mean, after all,
you kind of own the place.
540
00:21:08,943 --> 00:21:11,445
Oh, no, no, no, no,
I'll pay for it.
541
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:13,214
Credit card okay?
542
00:21:13,248 --> 00:21:14,215
Sure.
543
00:21:14,249 --> 00:21:15,216
All right.
544
00:21:15,250 --> 00:21:16,917
I'll need to see
a driver's license.
545
00:21:22,223 --> 00:21:23,040
Listen, I did my best.
546
00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:24,925
I mean, I gave him
the jealousy story,
547
00:21:24,959 --> 00:21:26,193
but he just didn't buy it.
548
00:21:26,228 --> 00:21:28,495
I tell you, man,
he is really steamed.
549
00:21:28,530 --> 00:21:30,380
Damn.
550
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:33,717
You know, he said
that if, uh,
551
00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:35,486
if you were really
in love with me,
552
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:36,820
that he might understand.
553
00:21:36,854 --> 00:21:38,955
You know, that it would
explain everything,
554
00:21:38,990 --> 00:21:40,491
but he just...
didn't buy that.
555
00:21:40,525 --> 00:21:42,359
Oh, God, what am
I going to do?
556
00:21:42,394 --> 00:21:44,261
I don't know.
I don't know.
557
00:21:44,295 --> 00:21:46,246
Unless...
558
00:21:46,281 --> 00:21:47,548
Unless what? What?
559
00:21:47,582 --> 00:21:50,317
Ah... No, no, yeah,
yeah, that wouldn't work.
560
00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:51,501
No, no, what?
Tell me, please.
561
00:21:51,536 --> 00:21:53,603
Well, all right, well,
maybe, you know, if...
562
00:21:53,638 --> 00:21:55,256
well, if he were
to walk in here
563
00:21:55,290 --> 00:21:56,490
and find you kissing me
564
00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:58,626
more passionately
than you kissed him...
565
00:21:58,660 --> 00:22:00,060
Forget it,
forget it,
forget it.
566
00:22:00,094 --> 00:22:01,228
All right
all right.
567
00:22:01,263 --> 00:22:02,396
You know, you
never give up.
568
00:22:02,430 --> 00:22:03,564
You are always
on the make.
569
00:22:03,598 --> 00:22:05,065
Let me tell you
something, buster.
All right.
570
00:22:05,099 --> 00:22:06,734
I still have a
little self-respect.
571
00:22:06,768 --> 00:22:08,435
I have a little pride.
572
00:22:08,470 --> 00:22:10,003
Have it your way.
573
00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:11,021
Hello.
574
00:22:21,449 --> 00:22:22,199
Oh. Ha.
575
00:22:22,234 --> 00:22:23,283
Sorry, Evan, there.
576
00:22:23,318 --> 00:22:25,753
I didn't, uh, didn't
hear you come in there.
577
00:22:25,787 --> 00:22:27,020
You know how it is
with young lovers, here.
578
00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:28,455
We just can't keep
our hands off each other.
579
00:22:28,490 --> 00:22:30,023
Yeah.
580
00:22:32,827 --> 00:22:34,461
You're a lucky man, Sam.
581
00:22:34,496 --> 00:22:35,529
Oh, yeah,
you're telling me.
582
00:22:35,563 --> 00:22:36,697
Well, this little
honey of mine
583
00:22:36,731 --> 00:22:38,999
gives me a lot
of good loving, don't you?
584
00:22:40,635 --> 00:22:41,835
Sure do, punkin.
585
00:22:44,305 --> 00:22:46,607
Well, I just
came by to apologize
586
00:22:46,641 --> 00:22:48,642
for how I reacted earlier.
587
00:22:48,677 --> 00:22:50,644
Apologize?
588
00:22:50,679 --> 00:22:52,446
To me?
589
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,114
Well, yeah, I told Sam outside.
590
00:22:54,149 --> 00:22:56,082
You told Sam?
591
00:22:57,852 --> 00:22:59,186
Gotcha.
592
00:23:02,490 --> 00:23:05,041
So why don't we just
not say anything more about it?
593
00:23:05,076 --> 00:23:06,376
I think
that's a great idea.
594
00:23:06,411 --> 00:23:08,479
Uh, let me walk you
to the car here.
Yeah.
595
00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:09,713
Malone.
No, no.
596
00:23:09,747 --> 00:23:11,481
I think we should say
nothing more about this.
597
00:23:19,006 --> 00:23:20,007
Sam, get back here.
598
00:23:20,041 --> 00:23:22,843
Ha. Some women
just can't get enough.
599
00:23:23,879 --> 00:23:26,146
You haven't met
my wife, Sam.
600
00:23:26,180 --> 00:23:27,447
Oh... Oh...
601
00:23:27,481 --> 00:23:28,481
Good night.
602
00:23:30,718 --> 00:23:32,653
Hey, listen. Come on.
603
00:23:32,687 --> 00:23:34,288
I'm just having
a little fun with you.
604
00:23:34,322 --> 00:23:35,789
You know,
I know why you're upset.
605
00:23:35,823 --> 00:23:37,424
You found out something
in that room
606
00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:38,458
you hadn't counted on.
607
00:23:38,493 --> 00:23:40,527
Your true feelings
were revealed.
608
00:23:40,562 --> 00:23:42,296
What?
609
00:23:42,330 --> 00:23:44,047
No woman
can kiss like that
610
00:23:44,081 --> 00:23:45,416
and not mean it.
611
00:23:45,450 --> 00:23:46,299
Are you nuts?
612
00:23:46,334 --> 00:23:47,551
No, no, no.
613
00:23:47,585 --> 00:23:48,718
No, it can't be done.
614
00:23:48,753 --> 00:23:50,387
You can't fake passion
like that.
615
00:23:50,422 --> 00:23:52,056
Oh, is that right?
616
00:23:52,090 --> 00:23:53,090
Hey, Fras.
617
00:24:05,103 --> 00:24:06,787
Nice try.
618
00:24:10,859 --> 00:24:12,359
Frasier?
619
00:24:12,393 --> 00:24:14,661
Frasier?
42831
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