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1
00:00:03,788 --> 00:00:05,988
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,988 --> 00:00:09,088
Sam, I found an apartment.
3
00:00:09,088 --> 00:00:10,688
Hey, good for you, Woody.
4
00:00:10,688 --> 00:00:12,388
It's got everything
I ever wanted.
5
00:00:12,488 --> 00:00:13,888
What's that?
6
00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:15,888
A living room and a bedroom.
7
00:00:17,288 --> 00:00:20,388
Dare to dream there,
Woodman.
8
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:22,488
Isn't this in Chinatown?
9
00:00:23,888 --> 00:00:25,088
I don't think so, Sam.
10
00:00:25,088 --> 00:00:27,588
Well, yeah,
I think it is.
11
00:00:27,688 --> 00:00:30,488
Did there seem to be a lot
of Chinese restaurants around?
12
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:31,288
Yeah, I guess.
13
00:00:31,288 --> 00:00:32,588
And, uh, a lot
14
00:00:32,688 --> 00:00:35,288
of, uh, signs hanging hither
and yon in Chinese there?
15
00:00:35,288 --> 00:00:36,788
Yeah, come to think of it.
16
00:00:36,788 --> 00:00:38,388
Yeah, lots of
Chinese people
walking around
17
00:00:38,388 --> 00:00:39,388
on the street,
I suppose.
18
00:00:39,388 --> 00:00:40,688
Yeah, but that could just
19
00:00:40,688 --> 00:00:42,188
be a coincidence, you know?
20
00:00:43,788 --> 00:00:44,888
I'll tell you
what I'll do.
21
00:00:44,888 --> 00:00:46,088
I'll call
my landlady.
22
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,188
If anyone would know,
Mrs. Chung would.
23
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,088
¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
24
00:00:57,188 --> 00:01:00,088
¶ Takes everything you've got
25
00:01:00,188 --> 00:01:02,988
¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
26
00:01:02,988 --> 00:01:06,088
¶ Sure would help a lot
27
00:01:06,088 --> 00:01:11,488
¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
28
00:01:11,588 --> 00:01:14,488
¶ Sometimes you want to go
29
00:01:14,488 --> 00:01:19,388
¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
30
00:01:19,488 --> 00:01:24,688
¶ And they're always glad
you came ¶
31
00:01:24,688 --> 00:01:26,688
¶ You want to be
where you can see ¶
32
00:01:26,688 --> 00:01:29,688
¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
33
00:01:29,688 --> 00:01:34,388
¶ You want to be where everybody
knows your name ¶
34
00:01:34,488 --> 00:01:37,588
¶ You want to go
where people know ¶
35
00:01:37,588 --> 00:01:39,688
¶ People are all the same
36
00:01:39,688 --> 00:01:44,288
¶ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ¶
37
00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:03,188
So, uh, Woody,
38
00:02:03,288 --> 00:02:05,788
how's the ol' apartment
working out?
39
00:02:05,888 --> 00:02:07,488
Oh, great, Mr. Clavin.
40
00:02:07,488 --> 00:02:09,688
You know my landlady,
Mrs. Chung?
Yeah.
41
00:02:09,688 --> 00:02:11,788
She's teaching me a new word
in Chinese every day.
42
00:02:11,788 --> 00:02:15,388
The trick is to work it
into the conversation smoothly.
43
00:02:15,488 --> 00:02:17,688
Say, Carla,
44
00:02:17,688 --> 00:02:20,588
seen any interesting
lately?
45
00:02:23,288 --> 00:02:25,288
What are you babbling about,
Festus?
46
00:02:25,388 --> 00:02:30,188
is
the Chinese word for "doorknob."
47
00:02:32,688 --> 00:02:36,588
Well, here's a couple of
right here.
48
00:02:36,588 --> 00:02:38,388
Hey, Bobby.
49
00:02:38,388 --> 00:02:40,688
Any new twists
in the pretzel business?
50
00:02:40,688 --> 00:02:43,088
Hey, I haven't heard that one
before, right, Sammy?
51
00:02:44,488 --> 00:02:46,188
So you want the usual
four cases?
52
00:02:46,288 --> 00:02:46,988
Yeah.
53
00:02:47,088 --> 00:02:48,288
Excuse me.
54
00:02:48,388 --> 00:02:49,988
I'm the new manager here.
55
00:02:49,988 --> 00:02:51,688
Congratulations.
56
00:02:51,788 --> 00:02:53,588
So, uh, that's
four, right, Sam?
57
00:02:53,588 --> 00:02:54,488
Mm-hmm.
58
00:02:54,588 --> 00:02:57,388
I handle all the ordering
around here now.
59
00:02:57,488 --> 00:02:58,688
Really, Sam?
60
00:02:59,588 --> 00:03:01,988
So how many cases
do you want?
61
00:03:02,088 --> 00:03:03,188
How many did he say?
62
00:03:03,188 --> 00:03:04,388
Four.
63
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:05,788
I want five.
64
00:03:05,788 --> 00:03:08,488
She's the boss.
65
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:09,388
I'll call you later.
66
00:03:10,488 --> 00:03:12,488
I saw that little
wink, Mr. Malone,
67
00:03:12,488 --> 00:03:13,988
and I don't
appreciate it.
68
00:03:14,088 --> 00:03:16,988
I'm tired of you
undermining my authority.
69
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,188
Now I want delivery men to deal
with me and me only.
70
00:03:19,188 --> 00:03:20,188
Is that clear?
71
00:03:20,188 --> 00:03:22,188
You certainly put me
in my place.
72
00:03:22,188 --> 00:03:24,188
Speaking of my place,
73
00:03:24,188 --> 00:03:26,588
why don't you grab your negligee
and join me?
74
00:03:28,188 --> 00:03:30,088
As disgusting as
that offer is
75
00:03:30,188 --> 00:03:32,188
I think I'll
have to decline.
76
00:03:32,188 --> 00:03:34,888
And I'm taking
your picture down.
77
00:03:34,888 --> 00:03:35,788
Whoa, whoa, wait a sec.
78
00:03:35,788 --> 00:03:36,988
You don't understand.
79
00:03:37,088 --> 00:03:39,188
I mean, it's a tradition
around here.
80
00:03:39,188 --> 00:03:40,588
It's always hung there.
81
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:43,188
Mr. Malone, I'm afraid
things are different now.
82
00:03:43,188 --> 00:03:44,988
This isn't your
bar anymore.
83
00:03:44,988 --> 00:03:46,088
Things are different now.
84
00:03:46,188 --> 00:03:47,088
This isn't your bar....
85
00:03:48,488 --> 00:03:50,288
Don't do that.
86
00:03:50,288 --> 00:03:51,988
I hate that.
87
00:03:51,988 --> 00:03:54,288
What? I just, uh,
bit my tongue, that's all.
88
00:03:57,588 --> 00:03:58,688
Way to go, Sammy.
89
00:04:02,988 --> 00:04:05,088
Give me a scotch, Woody.
90
00:04:05,088 --> 00:04:06,588
Sure thing, Dr. Crane.
91
00:04:06,688 --> 00:04:07,888
Hey, by the way,
92
00:04:07,988 --> 00:04:09,188
when you go to
the restroom,
93
00:04:09,188 --> 00:04:10,488
I want you to
notice that the
94
00:04:10,488 --> 00:04:13,088
have been shined.
95
00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:18,388
I'm hardly concerned
about doorknobs at the moment.
96
00:04:20,688 --> 00:04:21,988
You understood me?
97
00:04:21,988 --> 00:04:24,088
Yes. It was only
a matter of time.
98
00:04:29,288 --> 00:04:30,888
Well, doesn't anybody care
to know
99
00:04:30,888 --> 00:04:32,088
what I am concerned about?
100
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,488
No.
101
00:04:33,488 --> 00:04:35,588
Well, Fras,
you know normally,
102
00:04:35,588 --> 00:04:37,088
I wouldn't give a rat's tokus
103
00:04:37,188 --> 00:04:38,988
about anything
that happened to you,
104
00:04:38,988 --> 00:04:41,588
but the last guy
I waited on threw up on my leg.
105
00:04:41,588 --> 00:04:43,588
Now, this couldn't be
any worse, right?
106
00:04:43,688 --> 00:04:45,188
Shoot.
107
00:04:45,188 --> 00:04:46,688
It's my love life.
108
00:04:46,688 --> 00:04:48,888
I'm gonna go find the guy
that threw up on my leg.
109
00:04:50,288 --> 00:04:51,588
What's up, Frasier?
110
00:04:51,588 --> 00:04:52,888
Well, Sam, this morning,
111
00:04:52,888 --> 00:04:55,588
Lilith and I had
the worst fight we've ever had.
112
00:04:55,588 --> 00:04:57,388
And I'm almost ashamed
to admit it, but I...
113
00:04:57,388 --> 00:04:58,688
I even considered
striking her.
114
00:04:58,788 --> 00:05:00,788
I mean, it wasn't completely
without provocation.
115
00:05:00,888 --> 00:05:02,088
She did throw a chair at me.
116
00:05:02,088 --> 00:05:03,588
Just...
117
00:05:03,588 --> 00:05:06,188
it's the same argument we've had
all the time lately. It...
118
00:05:06,288 --> 00:05:08,188
Only this time,
she-she issued an ultimatum.
119
00:05:08,188 --> 00:05:09,988
She... she said
we ought to get married,
120
00:05:09,988 --> 00:05:11,988
or we're through.
121
00:05:11,988 --> 00:05:14,488
Well, Frasier Crane does not
cotton to emotional blackmail.
122
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,888
Frasier, propose to her.
123
00:05:16,888 --> 00:05:18,288
Get it over with.
124
00:05:18,288 --> 00:05:19,888
The truth is, she's
got her hook in you.
125
00:05:19,988 --> 00:05:21,088
Well, Sam, I'm not a fish.
126
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,288
I'm a man.
127
00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:23,488
There is a difference.
128
00:05:23,588 --> 00:05:24,688
I know that.
129
00:05:24,688 --> 00:05:26,688
A fish would
stand a chance.
130
00:05:26,688 --> 00:05:28,488
Trust me,
propose.
131
00:05:28,488 --> 00:05:30,388
I couldn't, uh,
help but overhear
132
00:05:30,388 --> 00:05:32,688
what you were talking about
there, Fras.
133
00:05:32,688 --> 00:05:33,888
Yeah.
134
00:05:33,888 --> 00:05:35,588
We tried like hell,
135
00:05:35,588 --> 00:05:36,888
but, uh, we heard it anyway.
136
00:05:36,888 --> 00:05:39,588
Well, it's not
that I don't care for Lilith.
137
00:05:39,688 --> 00:05:42,588
It-It's just that I fear
I-I tied myself to her
138
00:05:42,688 --> 00:05:43,888
because, well, you know,
139
00:05:43,888 --> 00:05:45,888
I haven't been all
that successful with women.
140
00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:46,988
Ah.
For some reason,
141
00:05:46,988 --> 00:05:48,888
I don't think
they find me sexy.
142
00:05:48,888 --> 00:05:49,888
Get out!
Guys, huh?
Come on!
143
00:05:49,988 --> 00:05:50,888
Uh, you know, Fras,
144
00:05:50,988 --> 00:05:52,288
I wouldn't kick
you out of bed
145
00:05:52,288 --> 00:05:54,388
for eating crackers.
146
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:58,188
Maybe subconsciously,
I've-I've settled for Lilith
147
00:05:58,188 --> 00:06:01,788
because she's the only woman
that ever liked me for...
148
00:06:01,788 --> 00:06:03,488
well, not my brain.
149
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,788
Oh, Frasier, please.
150
00:06:04,788 --> 00:06:05,988
I know of plenty
of women,
151
00:06:05,988 --> 00:06:07,188
they-they
find you attractive.
152
00:06:07,288 --> 00:06:10,088
Yeah...
Oh, look, I know you're
just being nice...
153
00:06:10,088 --> 00:06:12,288
No.
...but you see,
I'm not really
154
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,288
trying to
shop around.
155
00:06:13,288 --> 00:06:15,488
I mean, Lilith Sternin is a...
156
00:06:15,488 --> 00:06:17,488
a good woman.
157
00:06:17,488 --> 00:06:20,488
Strong, durable, reliable.
158
00:06:20,488 --> 00:06:23,088
She'd make a hell
of a radial tire, actually.
159
00:06:26,188 --> 00:06:28,688
Oh, I'm just
too young for
a commitment.
160
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:31,488
You see, I haven't been
with all that many women.
161
00:06:31,488 --> 00:06:33,488
Especially ones
with a caboose like that.
162
00:06:34,888 --> 00:06:36,888
Well, Fras, uh,
talk about a small world.
163
00:06:36,888 --> 00:06:39,088
You know it's common knowledge
around here
164
00:06:39,088 --> 00:06:41,188
that Miss Howe
finds you très attractive.
165
00:06:41,188 --> 00:06:42,688
Oh, now stop it.
She does not.
166
00:06:42,688 --> 00:06:43,888
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
167
00:06:43,888 --> 00:06:45,788
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
am I blowing smoke here,
168
00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:47,488
or am I giving the man
the straight skinny?
169
00:06:47,488 --> 00:06:48,688
It's true.
170
00:06:48,688 --> 00:06:49,788
He's right, Frasier.
171
00:06:49,888 --> 00:06:51,288
Rebecca likes
the cut of your jib.
172
00:06:51,288 --> 00:06:52,888
Well, the
Cranes always
have been known
173
00:06:52,888 --> 00:06:54,388
for their jibs.
174
00:06:55,788 --> 00:06:56,888
No, seriously.
175
00:06:56,888 --> 00:06:58,288
It's outlandish.
I mean,
176
00:06:58,288 --> 00:07:00,188
the woman hasn't
even given me
an indication.
177
00:07:00,188 --> 00:07:01,388
Uh, I don't know,
178
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:02,488
Fras.
179
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:03,988
You know,
I think you'll find, uh,
180
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:06,988
where there's smoke,
there's, uh, fire.
181
00:07:07,088 --> 00:07:08,488
Could I have a club
soda, please, Woody?
182
00:07:08,488 --> 00:07:09,788
Oh, sure thing,
Miss Howe.
183
00:07:28,688 --> 00:07:30,288
Thank you.
184
00:07:33,588 --> 00:07:35,688
Huh? Huh?
185
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:36,988
Huh?
Huh?
186
00:07:36,988 --> 00:07:38,788
Were we right,
or were we right, huh?
187
00:07:38,888 --> 00:07:40,788
I mean, there must
be some mistake.
188
00:07:40,788 --> 00:07:41,888
What?
A mistake?!
189
00:07:41,988 --> 00:07:43,188
She was coming
on to me?
190
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:45,888
No, no, she was trying
to wipe something off her lip.
191
00:07:45,888 --> 00:07:47,088
Oh, yeah.
192
00:07:47,088 --> 00:07:48,388
Doc, Doc, she
talks about you
193
00:07:48,488 --> 00:07:49,588
all the time.
194
00:07:49,588 --> 00:07:51,088
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
195
00:07:51,188 --> 00:07:53,088
Look, look,
if you don't believe us, uh,
196
00:07:53,088 --> 00:07:54,588
just go over there
and ask her out.
197
00:07:54,588 --> 00:07:56,588
You'll have your answer.
198
00:07:56,588 --> 00:07:57,788
All right,
I'll do it.
199
00:07:57,888 --> 00:07:58,988
I mean, it's
not like
200
00:07:58,988 --> 00:08:00,788
I haven't had
any encouragement.
201
00:08:00,788 --> 00:08:03,388
I can come hither
as well as the next guy.
202
00:08:16,588 --> 00:08:18,688
Is this the men's room?
203
00:08:19,888 --> 00:08:21,088
It's around the corner.
204
00:08:21,188 --> 00:08:23,188
Oh, uh, terribly sorry.
205
00:08:24,888 --> 00:08:27,088
Well, I've laid the groundwork.
206
00:08:28,488 --> 00:08:30,688
I can just follow up that up
tomorrow. Oh, right now,
207
00:08:30,688 --> 00:08:32,388
I'm running late for dinner
so I better get back.
208
00:08:32,488 --> 00:08:34,288
You know, Lilith goes
into a blinding rage
209
00:08:34,288 --> 00:08:36,488
if I'm not home the minute
the meat hits the platter.
210
00:08:37,688 --> 00:08:39,688
Guys...
211
00:08:39,688 --> 00:08:41,288
thanks for being here for me.
212
00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,888
My compadres, huh?
213
00:08:43,888 --> 00:08:44,788
Yeah.
214
00:08:49,688 --> 00:08:50,988
No, no, no, no.
215
00:08:51,088 --> 00:08:52,188
That was really...
216
00:08:52,288 --> 00:08:53,588
That was
a terrible thing to do.
217
00:08:53,588 --> 00:08:54,788
Yeah.
218
00:08:54,888 --> 00:08:57,688
Yeah, uh, I-I wonder
why we did it.
219
00:08:58,888 --> 00:09:00,188
'Cause we're
a bunch of nimrods.
220
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,788
"Your hostess,
Rebecca Howe."
221
00:09:16,788 --> 00:09:18,488
What is this supposed to be?
222
00:09:18,488 --> 00:09:19,988
Something to identify me
to people
223
00:09:20,088 --> 00:09:22,688
who might have questions,
comments or suggestions.
224
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:25,788
I saw one in a supermarket
and thought it was a good idea.
225
00:09:25,888 --> 00:09:28,088
I've seen headcheese
in the supermarket, too,
226
00:09:28,188 --> 00:09:29,288
but I don't frame it.
227
00:09:30,788 --> 00:09:33,688
I guess what I'm saying is,
I love it.
228
00:09:35,588 --> 00:09:37,888
I don't want to hear
another word about
this, Mr. Malone.
229
00:09:37,988 --> 00:09:39,788
I know you have trouble
dealing with a woman
230
00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:40,888
in a position
of authority.
231
00:09:40,888 --> 00:09:42,088
Whoa, wait a minute.
232
00:09:42,088 --> 00:09:43,488
I resent that.
233
00:09:43,488 --> 00:09:45,788
I've never had trouble
with a woman in any position.
234
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:50,988
That's exactly what
I'm talking about.
235
00:09:51,088 --> 00:09:52,688
You give me no respect.
236
00:09:52,788 --> 00:09:53,788
Now,
237
00:09:53,888 --> 00:09:55,388
maybe you took this job lightly
238
00:09:55,388 --> 00:09:58,388
when you were in charge,
but I take it very seriously.
239
00:09:58,388 --> 00:10:01,288
And as for you, Mrs. LeBec,
240
00:10:01,288 --> 00:10:03,388
I would think...
241
00:10:04,788 --> 00:10:06,888
that as another working woman
242
00:10:06,988 --> 00:10:09,988
that perhaps you would lend me
some support.
243
00:10:12,188 --> 00:10:15,088
Instead of always sniping
behind my back.
244
00:10:15,088 --> 00:10:17,988
What do you see we just wipe
the slate clean here
245
00:10:17,988 --> 00:10:19,688
and start a new era
of mutual support?
246
00:10:19,688 --> 00:10:21,188
Wonderful idea.
247
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,688
Absolutely.
248
00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:24,288
You know, I don't think
we're ever going to able
249
00:10:24,288 --> 00:10:25,688
to look at you
the same way again.
250
00:10:25,688 --> 00:10:27,588
Great.
251
00:10:30,688 --> 00:10:31,788
Good evening, gents.
252
00:10:31,888 --> 00:10:32,988
Frasier.
Frasier.
253
00:10:32,988 --> 00:10:34,388
Carla, how about
some suds there?
254
00:10:34,488 --> 00:10:35,588
Yup.
255
00:10:35,688 --> 00:10:37,488
Hey, Fras, what's up?
256
00:10:37,588 --> 00:10:39,088
Well, my spirits
for one thing.
257
00:10:39,088 --> 00:10:41,388
I've just told Lilith
that I want my freedom,
258
00:10:41,388 --> 00:10:43,288
so that I can
pursue the fair Rebecca.
259
00:10:45,888 --> 00:10:47,188
Wait a minute,
now, wait.
260
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:48,488
You dumped Lilith,
261
00:10:48,488 --> 00:10:50,288
'cause of what Cliff said?
262
00:10:50,288 --> 00:10:51,988
What I said?
You're the one...
263
00:10:52,088 --> 00:10:52,988
Gentlemen, gentlemen.
264
00:10:52,988 --> 00:10:54,488
There's plenty of credit
for both of you.
265
00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:55,688
You two opened my eyes,
266
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:57,688
made me realize that there
are other fish in the sea.
267
00:10:57,688 --> 00:11:00,388
So what did Lilith have to say
when you flushed her?
268
00:11:01,188 --> 00:11:02,588
Well, I don't actually know yet.
269
00:11:02,688 --> 00:11:03,888
Uh, I was going to
270
00:11:03,888 --> 00:11:04,788
tell her face-to-face,
271
00:11:04,888 --> 00:11:06,688
but then I thought
272
00:11:06,688 --> 00:11:08,688
that an eloquently
written letter would be
273
00:11:08,788 --> 00:11:11,188
a bittersweet reminder
of what we had together.
274
00:11:11,188 --> 00:11:11,588
You chickened out?
275
00:11:11,688 --> 00:11:12,988
Precisely.
276
00:11:13,088 --> 00:11:14,888
Well...
277
00:11:14,888 --> 00:11:16,288
to the hunt.
278
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,288
Yes?
279
00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:30,688
Hello, Rebecca.
280
00:11:32,888 --> 00:11:35,588
Why do I suddenly feel
nervous as a schoolboy?
281
00:11:35,588 --> 00:11:36,888
Uh...
282
00:11:36,888 --> 00:11:38,888
Well, let me-let me come
directly to the point
283
00:11:38,988 --> 00:11:40,788
by telling you
that you couldn't have chosen
284
00:11:40,888 --> 00:11:43,188
a more opportune moment
to declare your feelings.
285
00:11:43,288 --> 00:11:45,488
Let me assure you,
the feeling is mutual.
286
00:11:45,488 --> 00:11:46,688
I've just recently...
287
00:11:46,688 --> 00:11:48,388
rid myself of an entanglement.
288
00:11:48,488 --> 00:11:50,088
I find myself free to ask you
289
00:11:50,088 --> 00:11:52,188
if you'd like
to join me for dinner.
290
00:11:53,188 --> 00:11:54,888
Who are you?
291
00:11:55,988 --> 00:11:57,188
My God.
292
00:11:57,188 --> 00:11:58,588
What have I done?
293
00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:02,188
You leaving so soon, Dr. Crane?
294
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,888
Yes, Woody, I've got
to convince the woman I love
295
00:12:03,888 --> 00:12:04,988
that I'm not a complete ass.
296
00:12:04,988 --> 00:12:06,888
Good luck!
297
00:12:21,761 --> 00:12:23,761
Oh, thank God.
298
00:12:23,761 --> 00:12:26,461
What was that,
Tootsie Roll?
299
00:12:26,561 --> 00:12:29,061
I said, uh, thank God I'm home.
300
00:12:29,061 --> 00:12:31,061
I couldn't agree more.
301
00:12:36,961 --> 00:12:38,461
How was your day
at the office?
302
00:12:38,461 --> 00:12:39,561
It was fine.
303
00:12:39,561 --> 00:12:41,461
How was yours?
Delightful.
304
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:42,461
Here,
I'll just make us
305
00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:43,461
a couple of drinks,
306
00:12:43,461 --> 00:12:45,061
and then
we can start relaxing.
307
00:12:45,061 --> 00:12:46,061
Where is the envelope
308
00:12:46,161 --> 00:12:47,461
you left for me
on the table?
309
00:12:47,561 --> 00:12:49,161
Envelope? What envelope?
310
00:12:49,161 --> 00:12:52,661
Frasier. It's wicked of you
to tease me.
311
00:12:52,761 --> 00:12:53,661
I saw it,
312
00:12:53,661 --> 00:12:55,061
but wanted to save it to open
313
00:12:55,161 --> 00:12:56,261
while you were here.
314
00:12:56,261 --> 00:12:58,561
It's probably either
tickets to the ballet
315
00:12:58,561 --> 00:12:59,961
or the symphony.
316
00:12:59,961 --> 00:13:02,161
Or perhaps one of those cards
with a handsome couple
317
00:13:02,161 --> 00:13:04,361
walking hand in hand
on the beach at sunset
318
00:13:04,361 --> 00:13:06,461
that I cherish so.
319
00:13:06,561 --> 00:13:09,561
You know,
that is exactly what it was.
320
00:13:10,761 --> 00:13:12,761
Good Lord, I guess
I'm becoming quite predictable.
321
00:13:12,861 --> 00:13:14,161
You know,
I'll just have to think
322
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:15,461
of another way
to enchant you.
323
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,661
I've got it.
324
00:13:18,361 --> 00:13:20,661
Look, it's a flock
of seagulls.
325
00:13:22,261 --> 00:13:24,461
Let's have our drink.
326
00:13:24,461 --> 00:13:27,561
Here's to the most beautiful
woman in the world.
327
00:13:31,261 --> 00:13:33,261
Let me guess--
you read the letter.
328
00:13:33,361 --> 00:13:37,161
Yes, I read the letter,
you licentious quack!
329
00:13:37,161 --> 00:13:39,361
And what facile
tripe it is!
330
00:13:39,461 --> 00:13:41,261
"We both need
time to grow,
331
00:13:41,261 --> 00:13:42,961
to develop as people."
332
00:13:42,961 --> 00:13:44,561
Who is the slut?
333
00:13:44,661 --> 00:13:45,761
She's no slut!
334
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,661
What slut?
335
00:13:50,761 --> 00:13:52,661
Well, I mean,
look, it was all a mistake.
336
00:13:52,661 --> 00:13:53,761
It's just a big mistake.
337
00:13:53,861 --> 00:13:55,961
Oh, you bet it is, mister.
338
00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:57,161
You want your freedom?!
339
00:13:57,161 --> 00:13:59,361
Ha, I'll give you freedom--
from your teeth!
340
00:13:59,361 --> 00:14:00,861
No, Lilith!
341
00:14:00,861 --> 00:14:02,861
Not the Royal Doulton.
342
00:14:04,661 --> 00:14:06,461
You're right.
343
00:14:06,561 --> 00:14:10,061
I realize when I contemplate
the destruction of property
344
00:14:10,161 --> 00:14:12,961
that I'm overstepping the bounds
of decorum.
345
00:14:12,961 --> 00:14:15,561
If there's any hope
of our salvaging
346
00:14:15,561 --> 00:14:17,161
any of our relationship,
347
00:14:17,161 --> 00:14:19,461
we must remain calm
and discuss this
348
00:14:19,561 --> 00:14:21,561
in a rational, truthful manner.
349
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:22,761
All right.
350
00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:24,661
I'll be honest with you.
351
00:14:24,661 --> 00:14:26,261
There was a woman.
352
00:14:26,361 --> 00:14:27,861
But I am a
man of honor.
353
00:14:27,861 --> 00:14:29,161
I did not betray you.
354
00:14:29,261 --> 00:14:30,561
Nothing happened.
355
00:14:30,561 --> 00:14:33,161
You broke off our relationship
356
00:14:33,161 --> 00:14:36,661
for the possibility
of a relationship?
357
00:14:36,661 --> 00:14:37,961
A mere fantasy?
358
00:14:38,061 --> 00:14:39,661
How flattering.
359
00:14:40,861 --> 00:14:43,261
All right,
I'll be honest with you.
360
00:14:44,661 --> 00:14:48,061
You see, I only wanted
to spare you.
361
00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:51,861
This woman is a...
a sex-starved Circe
362
00:14:51,861 --> 00:14:53,561
who drew my ship
onto the rocks
363
00:14:53,561 --> 00:14:55,561
and there
I foundered.
364
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:56,961
What's her name?
365
00:14:56,961 --> 00:14:59,661
Well, let's just, you know,
leave her name out of this.
366
00:14:59,661 --> 00:15:02,461
Frasier, are we going
to clear the air
367
00:15:02,561 --> 00:15:04,361
or continue
to hold back?
368
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,461
Unless
you identify
369
00:15:05,461 --> 00:15:07,061
this woman,
doubt and suspicion
370
00:15:07,161 --> 00:15:08,861
will fester
in my consciousness.
371
00:15:08,861 --> 00:15:11,261
Every woman I meet
will provoke the question,
372
00:15:11,361 --> 00:15:13,161
"Is this the one,
is this the one,
373
00:15:13,161 --> 00:15:15,261
is this the one,
is this the one
is this the one...?"
374
00:15:15,261 --> 00:15:16,361
It's Rebecca Howe.
375
00:15:16,361 --> 00:15:17,561
She runs Cheers now.
376
00:15:17,661 --> 00:15:19,561
So, now we know the slut's name.
377
00:15:22,061 --> 00:15:24,661
Please, Lilith...
378
00:15:24,761 --> 00:15:27,861
don't you think you
could forgive me?
379
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,861
I don't know.
380
00:15:29,861 --> 00:15:32,661
At this moment, my feelings
for you are ambivalent.
381
00:15:32,661 --> 00:15:34,061
I need to sort them out.
382
00:15:35,161 --> 00:15:36,561
I'm going to go out
383
00:15:36,661 --> 00:15:39,161
and wander the streets
aimlessly.
384
00:15:39,261 --> 00:15:40,761
I'll take my usual route.
385
00:15:43,961 --> 00:15:46,461
You know, I have
an idea, Popsicle.
386
00:15:46,461 --> 00:15:48,461
Uh, why don't I
run upstairs
387
00:15:48,561 --> 00:15:51,761
and make us a nice warm,
soothing bath, hmm?
388
00:15:51,861 --> 00:15:57,861
Well, Mr. Bubble does
always cheer me so.
389
00:15:57,961 --> 00:16:00,561
Once begun, it's half done.
390
00:16:12,261 --> 00:16:14,561
Are you sure
this is okay with Miss Howe?
391
00:16:14,561 --> 00:16:16,661
Woody, she loves
this kind of stuff.
392
00:16:16,661 --> 00:16:19,361
This is good,
wholesome humor.
393
00:16:19,461 --> 00:16:22,061
In fact,
I bet she gives you a raise
394
00:16:22,061 --> 00:16:25,061
for doing such a good job.
395
00:16:25,161 --> 00:16:26,661
Oh, don't stop.
396
00:16:26,761 --> 00:16:28,861
I already saw it.
397
00:16:28,961 --> 00:16:30,461
And I must admit,
I haven't laughed so hard
398
00:16:30,461 --> 00:16:31,561
since junior high.
399
00:16:31,661 --> 00:16:34,461
I helped.
400
00:16:39,961 --> 00:16:42,661
Mr. Malone.
401
00:16:42,761 --> 00:16:44,161
Yeah?
402
00:16:44,161 --> 00:16:46,461
I want this nonsense
with my picture to stop.
403
00:16:46,561 --> 00:16:48,461
I did you a favor
by hiring you back,
404
00:16:48,461 --> 00:16:50,761
and this is not
a very nice way to repay me.
405
00:16:50,761 --> 00:16:51,861
You're right.
406
00:16:51,861 --> 00:16:53,161
You did do me a favor,
407
00:16:53,161 --> 00:16:54,461
and now I'm going
to do you one.
408
00:16:54,561 --> 00:16:55,761
I'm going
to give you a tip
409
00:16:55,761 --> 00:16:57,861
on how to deal with people
who work for you.
410
00:16:57,961 --> 00:16:59,361
Lighten up a little bit.
411
00:16:59,361 --> 00:17:01,861
I mean, you got to make
some compromises.
412
00:17:01,861 --> 00:17:03,061
I see.
413
00:17:03,061 --> 00:17:04,661
You want me to hang
your picture back up.
414
00:17:04,761 --> 00:17:05,961
Right.
Done.
415
00:17:05,961 --> 00:17:07,861
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa,
that was easy.
416
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,261
Wait, uh...
417
00:17:09,261 --> 00:17:11,061
let's try some more
compromises here.
418
00:17:11,061 --> 00:17:13,361
Um... I want to
419
00:17:13,461 --> 00:17:15,661
sleep with you
25 times, but...
420
00:17:15,761 --> 00:17:18,661
you don't want to sleep
with me at all, am I right?
421
00:17:18,661 --> 00:17:19,761
Right.
422
00:17:19,861 --> 00:17:21,561
Okay, so what's half of 25?
423
00:17:21,561 --> 00:17:24,161
Your I.Q.?
424
00:17:26,961 --> 00:17:28,861
Wait, uh... please.
425
00:17:28,961 --> 00:17:31,561
Um, I'm a little sensitive
426
00:17:31,661 --> 00:17:35,961
about people making
fun of my intelligence.
427
00:17:36,061 --> 00:17:37,161
I'm sorry.
That's all right.
428
00:17:37,261 --> 00:17:39,261
But I wasn't making fun
of your intelligence.
429
00:17:39,361 --> 00:17:40,661
Good.
430
00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:42,561
I was making fun
of your lack of intelligence.
431
00:17:49,661 --> 00:17:52,661
Cliffie, girl
fight, 12:00 high.
432
00:17:52,661 --> 00:17:55,261
Rebecca Howe?
433
00:17:55,361 --> 00:17:56,861
Mm-hmm.
434
00:17:56,861 --> 00:17:58,961
You and I
are both mature women,
435
00:17:59,061 --> 00:18:01,261
and I think
we should handle this
436
00:18:01,261 --> 00:18:02,961
openly and with civility.
437
00:18:02,961 --> 00:18:05,961
Believe me, I could be doing you
a very big favor.
438
00:18:06,061 --> 00:18:08,161
Frasier is not an easy man
to live with.
439
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,561
He's obsessively compulsive
about neatness.
440
00:18:10,661 --> 00:18:12,261
The sex is good,
but he pouts
441
00:18:12,361 --> 00:18:14,361
unless you compliment
his performance.
442
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:15,861
Fortunately,
443
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:17,761
his male ego
can be satisfied
444
00:18:17,861 --> 00:18:20,061
with a simple
"Thank you, Conan."
445
00:18:22,461 --> 00:18:25,061
I don't know who you are,
446
00:18:25,061 --> 00:18:28,361
and I don't know
who Frasier is,
447
00:18:28,361 --> 00:18:30,261
but I do... Conan?
448
00:18:30,361 --> 00:18:33,361
You really don't know Frasier,
do you?
449
00:18:33,461 --> 00:18:34,761
No, I don't.
450
00:18:34,861 --> 00:18:36,561
God, I'm such a fool.
451
00:18:36,661 --> 00:18:39,461
How could I let him
do this to me?
452
00:18:39,561 --> 00:18:40,561
It's all right.
453
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:42,361
It happens to everybody.
454
00:18:42,361 --> 00:18:43,661
He made up this whole story
455
00:18:43,661 --> 00:18:45,061
just to avoid
committing to me.
456
00:18:45,061 --> 00:18:47,561
And the worst part is
he's going to get away with it.
457
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:48,661
They always do.
458
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:51,161
Yeah, men are such a pain.
459
00:18:51,161 --> 00:18:53,361
I have someone who's
very special to me,
460
00:18:53,361 --> 00:18:56,161
but he wouldn't notice me
if I set fire to my hair.
461
00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,661
Him?
462
00:19:02,461 --> 00:19:04,861
No, definitely not him.
463
00:19:04,861 --> 00:19:06,461
I prefer the
Fortune 500 type--
464
00:19:06,461 --> 00:19:07,961
one who owns blocks,
465
00:19:07,961 --> 00:19:10,061
not one who
plays with them.
466
00:19:12,761 --> 00:19:16,061
Look, they're flirting with me.
467
00:19:16,061 --> 00:19:17,761
Well, I really do
have work to do.
468
00:19:17,761 --> 00:19:20,261
Perhaps we can have lunch
together sometime.
469
00:19:20,261 --> 00:19:21,561
I'd like that.
470
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,061
Lilith.
Lilith.
471
00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:25,361
Well, good night.
Good night.
472
00:19:27,561 --> 00:19:30,761
Mr. Malone,
are you developing a tic?
473
00:19:30,761 --> 00:19:32,361
That was a wink.
474
00:19:32,361 --> 00:19:34,461
Then you're developing
into a tick.
475
00:19:38,361 --> 00:19:40,661
And stop looking
at my rear end.
476
00:19:40,661 --> 00:19:43,261
Lucky guess.
477
00:19:43,261 --> 00:19:45,161
Lilith.
478
00:19:45,161 --> 00:19:46,861
Thank God
you're here.
479
00:19:46,861 --> 00:19:49,961
You haven't confronted
Rebecca yet, have you?
480
00:19:49,961 --> 00:19:51,361
Hardly.
Oh, good.
481
00:19:51,361 --> 00:19:53,161
How did you know where I was?
482
00:19:53,161 --> 00:19:55,461
Well, when I realized
you hadn't come upstairs,
483
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:56,961
I-I toweled off, and then...
484
00:19:58,161 --> 00:19:59,261
...suddenly, it dawned on me--
485
00:19:59,361 --> 00:20:01,361
that little firebrand's
gone down to Cheers
486
00:20:01,361 --> 00:20:02,361
to fight for her man.
487
00:20:02,461 --> 00:20:03,961
See, I think
it best
488
00:20:03,961 --> 00:20:05,661
that I do this myself,
and, uh...
489
00:20:05,661 --> 00:20:07,561
I think next week's
a really good time.
490
00:20:07,561 --> 00:20:09,861
You did have an
affair with this
woman, didn't you?
491
00:20:09,861 --> 00:20:11,261
That is what you told me.
492
00:20:11,261 --> 00:20:12,661
Well, of course.
493
00:20:12,761 --> 00:20:14,961
Well, then end it
right here and now.
494
00:20:14,961 --> 00:20:16,861
I need to know
that it's over.
495
00:20:16,961 --> 00:20:18,461
You've got to
cut this off
496
00:20:18,461 --> 00:20:20,861
before she falls
more deeply in love with you.
497
00:20:20,861 --> 00:20:24,561
And you've got
to let me watch.
498
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,161
You know, I-I've got an idea.
499
00:20:30,161 --> 00:20:31,361
Let's go to Maine.
500
00:20:33,861 --> 00:20:35,361
Lilith...
501
00:20:35,361 --> 00:20:36,961
Lilith, Lilith...
502
00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:40,661
the left-hand side of my body's
gone completely numb.
503
00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:43,261
You know what that means,
don't you?
504
00:20:43,361 --> 00:20:46,561
Yes, you're stalling.
505
00:20:48,561 --> 00:20:50,061
It's down the
hall to the left.
506
00:20:50,161 --> 00:20:51,261
Thank you.
507
00:20:51,261 --> 00:20:53,661
Ms. Howe,
let me introduce myself.
508
00:20:53,661 --> 00:20:55,461
I'm Lilith Sternin.
509
00:20:55,461 --> 00:20:56,861
You don't know me,
510
00:20:56,861 --> 00:20:57,861
but of course
511
00:20:57,861 --> 00:21:00,061
this man needs no introduction.
512
00:21:00,061 --> 00:21:01,961
He only needs a conscience.
513
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:03,261
Frasier
514
00:21:03,361 --> 00:21:05,161
has something
he wants to say to you.
515
00:21:05,161 --> 00:21:06,561
Listen
very carefully
516
00:21:06,661 --> 00:21:08,661
and do what you must do.
517
00:21:13,461 --> 00:21:14,761
I'm... I'm sorry, Rebecca,
518
00:21:14,761 --> 00:21:16,761
but it's-it's-it's time
it was over.
519
00:21:16,861 --> 00:21:18,261
I hope you can forgive me.
520
00:21:18,261 --> 00:21:19,561
Now let's go to Maine.
521
00:21:19,561 --> 00:21:21,561
Frasier, don't be
so heartless.
522
00:21:21,561 --> 00:21:23,361
She deserves better than that.
523
00:21:26,361 --> 00:21:27,861
Uh, uh, no, no, please, please,
524
00:21:27,961 --> 00:21:29,761
don't try
to articulate your feelings.
525
00:21:29,761 --> 00:21:31,461
Uh... just...
526
00:21:31,461 --> 00:21:32,861
let me say my little piece,
527
00:21:32,961 --> 00:21:35,261
and then I'll be out
of your life forever.
528
00:21:35,261 --> 00:21:38,361
Now, just remember the part
about not saying anything.
529
00:21:39,961 --> 00:21:41,661
I know it sounds
530
00:21:41,661 --> 00:21:44,061
like a cliché to...
531
00:21:44,161 --> 00:21:46,561
to say that this
is going to hurt me
532
00:21:46,561 --> 00:21:48,161
more than it does you...
533
00:21:48,261 --> 00:21:50,861
but it doesn't make it
any less true...
534
00:21:50,961 --> 00:21:53,961
for you see, it is I...
who will be condemned
535
00:21:53,961 --> 00:21:56,761
never again to see your...
haunting eyes,
536
00:21:56,761 --> 00:21:58,761
your silken skin,
537
00:21:58,861 --> 00:22:01,061
your shimmering hair.
538
00:22:03,161 --> 00:22:06,061
But it-it's time that we part.
539
00:22:06,061 --> 00:22:07,861
Farewell, sweet Rebecca.
540
00:22:10,061 --> 00:22:12,861
How will I live
without your passionate kisses?
541
00:22:12,861 --> 00:22:13,761
You won't have to.
542
00:22:13,761 --> 00:22:16,161
Oh, Frasier...
543
00:22:18,361 --> 00:22:20,061
Frasier,
for God's sakes,
544
00:22:20,061 --> 00:22:21,661
she was only joking.
545
00:22:21,661 --> 00:22:23,061
Well, so was I.
546
00:22:23,061 --> 00:22:25,161
Come on.
547
00:22:25,161 --> 00:22:26,461
I was just playing along.
548
00:22:26,461 --> 00:22:27,961
I'm a dead man.
549
00:22:29,161 --> 00:22:31,261
Sweetheart? Buttercup?
550
00:22:31,361 --> 00:22:33,661
You were just kidding,
weren't you?
551
00:22:34,661 --> 00:22:36,261
My joy...!
552
00:22:37,561 --> 00:22:38,961
Lilith.
553
00:22:38,961 --> 00:22:40,261
Please, uh,
554
00:22:40,361 --> 00:22:42,161
all I can say is...
555
00:22:42,161 --> 00:22:44,861
please have
mercy on me. I...
556
00:22:44,961 --> 00:22:46,761
Look, it's the
God's honest truth.
557
00:22:46,861 --> 00:22:48,861
Rebecca and I did
not have an affair.
558
00:22:48,961 --> 00:22:49,961
I wanted to,
559
00:22:50,061 --> 00:22:51,061
but she
wasn't sure...
560
00:22:51,061 --> 00:22:52,161
A small point,
561
00:22:52,261 --> 00:22:54,261
but she wasn't even sure
who I am, so...
562
00:22:55,761 --> 00:22:57,661
I didn't really want to.
563
00:22:57,661 --> 00:22:59,461
Uh, my body wanted to,
564
00:22:59,561 --> 00:23:00,361
but my brain didn't.
565
00:23:00,461 --> 00:23:01,861
Well, part of my
brain did, but...
566
00:23:01,961 --> 00:23:03,361
Well, that part's dead, and...
567
00:23:06,661 --> 00:23:10,861
I guess...
what I'm trying to say is...
568
00:23:17,561 --> 00:23:18,761
Will you marry me,
569
00:23:18,861 --> 00:23:21,061
make me the happiest man alive?
570
00:23:21,061 --> 00:23:23,861
This is obviously a ploy
to get yourself out
571
00:23:23,961 --> 00:23:27,561
of the ridiculous situation
you're in, and the answer...
572
00:23:27,561 --> 00:23:31,261
is yes, my steed, yes.
573
00:23:33,461 --> 00:23:35,361
Are you... you're serious?
574
00:23:36,661 --> 00:23:38,361
Yippee.
575
00:23:40,161 --> 00:23:41,161
Hey, everybody,
576
00:23:41,161 --> 00:23:42,661
we're going
to be married.
577
00:23:45,761 --> 00:23:48,061
Someday.
578
00:23:48,061 --> 00:23:50,061
No, soon.
579
00:23:51,161 --> 00:23:54,961
Eh, we finally got
those lovebirds together, huh?
580
00:23:54,961 --> 00:23:58,361
Yeah, just needed that
little push, I guess.
581
00:23:58,461 --> 00:24:00,261
¶ Matchmaker, matchmaker
582
00:24:00,361 --> 00:24:01,761
¶ Make me a match...
41712
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