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1
00:00:03,061 --> 00:00:06,061
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,061 --> 00:00:09,061
Well, that cute little dimple?
3
00:00:09,161 --> 00:00:10,261
Well, I think
I still got it.
4
00:00:10,361 --> 00:00:11,961
It's kind of hard for
me to see back there.
5
00:00:13,861 --> 00:00:17,361
Um, Renee, I'm going to have
to get back to you.
6
00:00:17,361 --> 00:00:18,961
Yeah, bye-bye.
7
00:00:18,961 --> 00:00:20,761
Uh, Linda, sweetheart,
8
00:00:20,761 --> 00:00:22,661
uh, can we continue
this over lunch?
9
00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:24,961
Well, um, your place.
10
00:00:24,961 --> 00:00:25,961
Don't cook.
11
00:00:29,961 --> 00:00:32,061
Let me guess-- personal call?
12
00:00:32,161 --> 00:00:33,861
Very.
13
00:00:33,961 --> 00:00:36,661
Malone, I find winking
really smarmy.
14
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:39,261
Yeah, but beneath this smarm
is a lot of charm,
15
00:00:39,261 --> 00:00:41,261
and I think you know that.
16
00:00:42,061 --> 00:00:43,761
I know this...
17
00:00:43,761 --> 00:00:46,561
I want you out
of my office now.
18
00:00:46,561 --> 00:00:48,561
All right, all right.
I'm sorry.
19
00:00:48,561 --> 00:00:50,961
I know I'm not supposed
to get personal calls here,
20
00:00:51,061 --> 00:00:52,861
but what the hey, you know;
super-strength Sammy
21
00:00:52,961 --> 00:00:54,661
has been off the shelves now
for over a year--
22
00:00:54,661 --> 00:00:56,361
there's a lot of pent-up demand
out there.
23
00:00:57,861 --> 00:00:59,161
What can I say?
24
00:00:59,261 --> 00:01:00,861
Say, "I'd better
get back to work.
25
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:03,061
I don't want to get fired."
26
00:01:03,061 --> 00:01:04,861
You're cute
when you're humorless.
27
00:01:04,861 --> 00:01:05,761
Did you know that?
28
00:01:07,361 --> 00:01:09,061
Cheers.
29
00:01:09,161 --> 00:01:10,361
No, Simone, I'm sorry.
30
00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:11,361
Sam's working.
31
00:01:11,361 --> 00:01:12,661
Simone? Wait, wait, wait.
32
00:01:12,661 --> 00:01:14,361
Try him later at home.
33
00:01:15,361 --> 00:01:16,361
Well, then, perhaps
34
00:01:16,361 --> 00:01:18,261
on your next visit
to the States.
35
00:01:20,661 --> 00:01:22,361
Simone?
36
00:01:22,361 --> 00:01:25,061
Man, you just cost me
a roll in the hay.
37
00:01:25,161 --> 00:01:25,661
I owe you one.
38
00:01:25,661 --> 00:01:26,761
You're on.
39
00:01:26,761 --> 00:01:28,061
I didn't mean that.
40
00:01:28,161 --> 00:01:29,761
Wait a minute. I think
we need to get something...
41
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:36,261
¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
42
00:01:36,361 --> 00:01:39,361
¶ Takes everything
you've got ¶
43
00:01:39,361 --> 00:01:42,061
¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
44
00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:45,561
¶ Sure would help a lot
45
00:01:45,561 --> 00:01:50,661
¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
46
00:01:50,661 --> 00:01:53,361
¶ Sometimes you want to go
47
00:01:53,361 --> 00:01:58,861
¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
48
00:01:58,861 --> 00:02:03,461
¶ And they're always glad
you came ¶
49
00:02:03,461 --> 00:02:05,861
¶ You want to be
where you can see ¶
50
00:02:05,861 --> 00:02:08,361
¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
51
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:13,761
¶ You want to be where everybody
knows your name ¶
52
00:02:13,761 --> 00:02:16,261
¶ You want to go
where people know ¶
53
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,361
¶ People are all the same
54
00:02:18,461 --> 00:02:23,061
¶ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ¶
55
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:44,061
Geez... listen to this.
56
00:02:44,061 --> 00:02:45,761
"Scientists discover
wild parrot
57
00:02:45,761 --> 00:02:49,561
who claims to be Elvis."
58
00:02:49,661 --> 00:02:53,061
So?
59
00:02:53,161 --> 00:02:54,361
"So?"
60
00:02:54,461 --> 00:02:55,961
I mean, this one
wins the "Too stupid
61
00:02:55,961 --> 00:02:59,361
for even you,
Cliff" award.
62
00:02:59,361 --> 00:03:00,661
Now, really,
must you two wallow
63
00:03:00,661 --> 00:03:03,761
in this sensationalistic tripe?
64
00:03:03,761 --> 00:03:06,561
It pains me no end
to see America's wits dulled
65
00:03:06,661 --> 00:03:10,261
and their morals abrogated
by this opiate of the asses.
66
00:03:11,761 --> 00:03:13,861
Well, let's check this out,
Cliffie.
67
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,961
"I was Sigmund Freud's
love child."
68
00:03:15,961 --> 00:03:17,961
No!
69
00:03:19,461 --> 00:03:20,861
I've heard rumors
that he betrayed Martha
70
00:03:20,961 --> 00:03:21,861
with his sister-in-law,
71
00:03:21,961 --> 00:03:23,261
but I never dreamed
there were progeny.
72
00:03:25,461 --> 00:03:27,961
You rapscallions.
73
00:03:31,261 --> 00:03:33,761
What are you
whistling about, huh?
74
00:03:33,861 --> 00:03:35,661
You haven't got a
dime to your name.
75
00:03:35,661 --> 00:03:37,761
You're working for a woman
who's a meat grinder,
76
00:03:37,761 --> 00:03:41,661
and you look like a
baboon in that uniform.
77
00:03:41,661 --> 00:03:46,761
Boy, life really stinks.
78
00:03:52,461 --> 00:03:53,661
You okay?
79
00:03:53,661 --> 00:03:55,761
I feel like puke.
80
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:59,961
Well, you're wearing
the right uniform.
81
00:03:59,961 --> 00:04:01,261
Want to talk about it?
82
00:04:01,361 --> 00:04:03,461
No, what's there to say
83
00:04:03,461 --> 00:04:06,561
about a no-good, ice-eating
little geek like Eddie LeBec.
84
00:04:06,561 --> 00:04:08,561
He's known since a week ago
85
00:04:08,661 --> 00:04:10,161
that I got
his bun in my oven,
86
00:04:10,161 --> 00:04:11,761
and what the hell
has he done about it?
87
00:04:11,861 --> 00:04:13,261
Jack Diddley.
88
00:04:15,561 --> 00:04:16,661
Don't look now,
89
00:04:16,761 --> 00:04:18,761
but your ice-eating geek
just walked in.
90
00:04:19,961 --> 00:04:22,461
Don't you just love him?
91
00:04:22,561 --> 00:04:24,061
Hi, Carla.
92
00:04:24,161 --> 00:04:24,861
Hi, Eddie.
93
00:04:24,961 --> 00:04:26,261
You, uh, busy?
94
00:04:26,261 --> 00:04:27,361
Just a minute.
95
00:04:27,361 --> 00:04:28,361
Uh, look,
96
00:04:28,461 --> 00:04:30,061
would you just write down
what you want,
97
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,161
and hand it to Howdy Doody
over there?
98
00:04:34,461 --> 00:04:35,761
I'm all yours.
Okay.
99
00:04:35,761 --> 00:04:37,361
So, what's new?
100
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:39,961
Well, I, uh, I've had
a lot on my mind lately.
101
00:04:40,061 --> 00:04:40,961
Yeah?
102
00:04:41,061 --> 00:04:44,261
You know, training camp's
really been rough
103
00:04:44,361 --> 00:04:45,861
and a lot of
competition at goalie,
104
00:04:45,861 --> 00:04:48,561
and really having to work
my tail off to keep up, eh?
105
00:04:48,661 --> 00:04:51,561
Sounds rough.
Yeah.
106
00:04:51,561 --> 00:04:53,461
Say, you know, uh,
since I'm already here,
107
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:55,361
there's something
I've been wanting to ask you.
108
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:56,361
Yeah?
109
00:04:56,561 --> 00:04:57,661
It's a question.
110
00:04:57,761 --> 00:05:00,461
I like questions.
111
00:05:00,461 --> 00:05:01,661
Okay, but,
112
00:05:01,661 --> 00:05:02,961
see, this is
the kind of question
113
00:05:03,061 --> 00:05:04,261
a guy really
doesn't want to ask
114
00:05:04,261 --> 00:05:05,961
if he thinks he might
get "no" for answer.
115
00:05:06,061 --> 00:05:09,061
Well, it's kind of hard for
a girl to give an answer
116
00:05:09,161 --> 00:05:11,261
until she knows
what the question is.
117
00:05:11,261 --> 00:05:12,661
Okay, but, you see,
118
00:05:12,661 --> 00:05:13,861
it would be
a lot easier for a guy
119
00:05:13,961 --> 00:05:14,961
if he had
some sort of sign...
120
00:05:15,061 --> 00:05:16,661
Ask me, you little frog!
121
00:05:16,661 --> 00:05:17,661
Okay.
122
00:05:17,661 --> 00:05:18,961
Carla, would you...?
123
00:05:18,961 --> 00:05:20,661
Yes! Yes!
124
00:05:20,661 --> 00:05:22,161
Oh, oh, oh.
Eddie, yes.
125
00:05:22,261 --> 00:05:23,761
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
126
00:05:23,761 --> 00:05:25,361
Carla, do you mind if we,
127
00:05:25,361 --> 00:05:26,561
you know,
we keep this quiet?
128
00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:28,761
You know me, I don't
like a lot of hoopla.
129
00:05:28,761 --> 00:05:31,261
Oh, yeah, sorry.
130
00:05:33,261 --> 00:05:35,261
Would it be okay
if I just told Sam?
131
00:05:35,261 --> 00:05:36,461
I guess.
132
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:37,561
Hey, Sammy!
133
00:05:37,561 --> 00:05:38,961
Me and Eddie
are getting married!
134
00:05:40,361 --> 00:05:42,061
Oh, my God.
Hey, hey, hey.
135
00:05:44,161 --> 00:05:45,361
Get over here, Eddie!
136
00:05:46,161 --> 00:05:47,761
What's going on?
137
00:05:47,761 --> 00:05:49,061
Oh, great news,
Miss Howe.
138
00:05:49,161 --> 00:05:50,761
Carla's marrying
Eddie LeBec.
139
00:05:50,761 --> 00:05:54,661
Oh, that cute little guy
with the dents in his nose.
140
00:05:56,561 --> 00:05:58,561
Hey, listen up, everybody.
141
00:05:58,561 --> 00:05:59,961
Wait, wait, wait,
here we go.
142
00:05:59,961 --> 00:06:00,961
Here we go, here we go.
143
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,561
I want
to be making a toast
144
00:06:02,661 --> 00:06:03,961
to my beautiful
bride-to-be.
145
00:06:03,961 --> 00:06:05,561
Listen, you know,
I don't make my living
146
00:06:05,661 --> 00:06:07,361
using words, so this
is gonna be kind of hard
147
00:06:07,461 --> 00:06:09,761
for me, okay,
but here it goes.
148
00:06:09,761 --> 00:06:13,161
Uh, Carla...
149
00:06:13,161 --> 00:06:15,761
Well, you know.
150
00:06:18,061 --> 00:06:19,861
Well, you know.
151
00:06:19,861 --> 00:06:21,361
Yeah.
152
00:06:21,361 --> 00:06:23,761
I love you, sweetie.
153
00:06:23,761 --> 00:06:25,661
Hey, congratulations, man.
This is terrific.
154
00:06:25,661 --> 00:06:26,661
Thanks.
155
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:27,961
Are you gonna take her
on a honeymoon?
156
00:06:28,061 --> 00:06:29,761
Hey, got any suggestions?
Yeah.
157
00:06:29,761 --> 00:06:30,961
New Orleans.
158
00:06:30,961 --> 00:06:32,561
I found a great
little honeymoon spot
159
00:06:32,561 --> 00:06:34,661
just kind of tucked away
off Bourbon Street.
160
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:37,761
Great food, very romantic,
steamy atmosphere, you know.
161
00:06:37,861 --> 00:06:39,961
Yeah, I had the
time of my life,
162
00:06:39,961 --> 00:06:43,161
and then Vera tracked me down.
163
00:06:43,161 --> 00:06:45,861
Well, if I get any time off
from training camp,
164
00:06:45,961 --> 00:06:48,361
I thought maybe Carla
might like to see Waikiki.
165
00:06:48,461 --> 00:06:51,561
Waikiki...
Honolulu, Hawaii?
166
00:06:51,561 --> 00:06:52,961
Sure, we'll hit them all.
167
00:06:52,961 --> 00:06:55,661
Yeah, right!
168
00:06:55,761 --> 00:06:57,761
I only hope
I can get some time off
169
00:06:57,761 --> 00:06:58,761
from the Howitzer.
170
00:07:00,061 --> 00:07:02,661
Sorry. Miss Howitzer.
171
00:07:03,861 --> 00:07:04,861
Time off?
172
00:07:04,861 --> 00:07:06,961
Well, you'll be having
all the time in the world.
173
00:07:06,961 --> 00:07:08,361
You think I'd be
having a wife of mine
174
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,661
work in a crummy
bar like this?
175
00:07:10,661 --> 00:07:13,061
No offense, Miss Howitzer.
176
00:07:13,161 --> 00:07:15,161
It's Miss Howe.
177
00:07:15,161 --> 00:07:16,261
Oh, take it easy.
178
00:07:16,361 --> 00:07:18,661
They're just complimenting
your big guns.
179
00:07:20,461 --> 00:07:21,061
Wait a minute.
180
00:07:21,061 --> 00:07:22,561
Y-You're telling me
181
00:07:22,661 --> 00:07:25,561
that I don't have
to work anymore?
182
00:07:25,661 --> 00:07:28,961
You mean, I can just
sit around the house all day,
183
00:07:28,961 --> 00:07:30,761
eating peanut butter
out of a jar,
184
00:07:30,861 --> 00:07:33,961
and watching
my toenails grow?
185
00:07:33,961 --> 00:07:35,861
She's, uh, quite a catch, Ed.
186
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,661
Boy, you know,
I'm gonna miss you around here.
187
00:07:42,661 --> 00:07:46,261
Oh, Sammy, I'll drop by
once in a while
188
00:07:46,261 --> 00:07:47,761
to watch all you 9-to-5'ers
189
00:07:47,761 --> 00:07:49,861
spill drinks
on your butler suits.
190
00:07:51,161 --> 00:07:52,461
So, when's
the big day, Carla?
191
00:07:52,461 --> 00:07:54,561
Well, I'd like to do it
as soon as possible
192
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,561
before my little hunk
of back bacon here
193
00:07:56,561 --> 00:07:57,661
changes his mind.
194
00:07:57,761 --> 00:07:59,361
Ah, no way, I'm not
one of those flakes
195
00:07:59,461 --> 00:08:00,461
you used to go out with.
196
00:08:00,561 --> 00:08:02,061
Oh, but listen, we
have to get married
197
00:08:02,061 --> 00:08:03,161
on a day with
a two in it
198
00:08:03,161 --> 00:08:04,561
'cause two's
my lucky number.
199
00:08:04,661 --> 00:08:06,661
Rats. Mine's three.
200
00:08:06,661 --> 00:08:07,861
Oh, no sweat.
201
00:08:07,861 --> 00:08:09,461
Lucky two, lucky three...
202
00:08:09,561 --> 00:08:11,861
We can get married on
the 23rd or the 32nd.
203
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,261
That's right, honey.
204
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:16,261
Oh, right, right.
205
00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:17,361
No, um...
206
00:08:17,361 --> 00:08:18,861
As long as it's not
on a Wednesday.
207
00:08:18,961 --> 00:08:20,261
Ooh, yeah, bad juju.
208
00:08:20,261 --> 00:08:21,861
Yeah.
209
00:08:21,861 --> 00:08:23,661
This is going to be
an interesting wedding--
210
00:08:23,661 --> 00:08:26,061
the two most superstitious
people in the world.
211
00:08:26,061 --> 00:08:29,661
Hey, hey, don't say that,
it's bad luck.
212
00:08:29,661 --> 00:08:32,461
Listen, whatever you do,
don't make any plans afterwards
213
00:08:32,561 --> 00:08:35,561
'cause we're going to throw you
the biggest wedding reception
214
00:08:35,561 --> 00:08:36,361
in history right here...
215
00:08:36,561 --> 00:08:37,761
Oh, great!
216
00:08:39,661 --> 00:08:41,761
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
217
00:08:41,761 --> 00:08:42,661
Force of habit.
218
00:08:42,761 --> 00:08:44,961
Not my place to do that.
I'm sorry.
219
00:08:44,961 --> 00:08:49,061
Ms. Howe's going to throw you
the biggest wedding reception...
220
00:08:50,561 --> 00:08:53,761
I need to talk to you
right now.
221
00:08:53,861 --> 00:08:55,461
Uh, wait...
222
00:08:55,461 --> 00:08:57,661
before you say anything,
let me just, uh...
223
00:08:57,661 --> 00:08:58,861
I had an idea.
224
00:08:58,861 --> 00:09:00,661
Why don't you
invite your boss,
225
00:09:00,661 --> 00:09:02,361
what's-his-name,
Evan Drake.
226
00:09:02,461 --> 00:09:04,061
You know,
he's a sports fan, so I hear.
227
00:09:04,061 --> 00:09:06,361
Maybe he'd enjoy
meeting Eddie LeBec there.
228
00:09:06,361 --> 00:09:08,261
You know, you could
throw him a big bash,
229
00:09:08,361 --> 00:09:10,661
impress the pants off him.
230
00:09:10,661 --> 00:09:12,361
What were you
going to say?
231
00:09:12,461 --> 00:09:15,361
I was going to tell
you to smile more.
232
00:09:15,361 --> 00:09:16,361
Mm-hmm.
233
00:09:16,461 --> 00:09:19,261
I didn't say smugly.
234
00:09:19,361 --> 00:09:21,161
Excuse me,
I have a phone call to make.
235
00:09:22,761 --> 00:09:23,861
Hey there, Eduardo,
236
00:09:23,861 --> 00:09:26,361
looks like you and Carla aren't
the only lovebirds in town.
237
00:09:26,461 --> 00:09:28,361
Check out DeeDee
and David there.
238
00:09:28,361 --> 00:09:29,661
Who?
239
00:09:29,661 --> 00:09:31,161
DeeDee and David Lefsowski,
240
00:09:31,261 --> 00:09:34,961
the Weekly Gabbers'odd couple of the month.
241
00:09:34,961 --> 00:09:38,261
See, she weighs in there
at 480 pounds,
242
00:09:38,361 --> 00:09:44,161
and he tips the scales
at a mere, uh, 92.
243
00:09:44,161 --> 00:09:47,061
But I mean, just look
at the love in his eyes.
244
00:09:47,061 --> 00:09:48,861
I think that's fear, Cliff.
245
00:09:51,161 --> 00:09:52,361
Cute baby he's holding.
246
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:54,661
That's her arm, Woody.
247
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,961
Cute arm he's holding.
248
00:09:58,661 --> 00:10:00,461
Hey. Picked a date yet?
249
00:10:00,561 --> 00:10:01,561
Yep.
250
00:10:01,561 --> 00:10:03,361
Eddie wants to do it
a week from Saturday,
251
00:10:03,361 --> 00:10:05,161
anytime before 4:00 p.m.
252
00:10:05,261 --> 00:10:07,261
which is okay
with my psychic,
253
00:10:07,261 --> 00:10:10,361
as long as our auras remain
in the blue spectrum,
254
00:10:10,461 --> 00:10:12,361
and there's no
solar eclipse.
255
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:15,261
It's really tough
planning a wedding, isn't it?
256
00:10:15,261 --> 00:10:17,061
Ooh, tell me about it.
257
00:10:17,061 --> 00:10:19,161
You know, I'm just
a little nervous
258
00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:21,261
about waiting eight days.
259
00:10:21,261 --> 00:10:22,961
Gives Eddie an
awful long time
260
00:10:22,961 --> 00:10:24,161
to come to his senses.
261
00:10:24,161 --> 00:10:25,861
Look at him.
262
00:10:25,861 --> 00:10:27,561
He's absorbed in
thought over there.
263
00:10:33,361 --> 00:10:35,261
Well, maybe not.
264
00:10:38,861 --> 00:10:40,761
There.
265
00:10:40,761 --> 00:10:42,061
The table looks nice.
266
00:10:42,061 --> 00:10:43,961
Woody, don't you think
the table looks nice?
267
00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,061
I think it looks nice.
268
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,161
Looks nice.
269
00:10:46,161 --> 00:10:46,961
You think so?
270
00:10:48,361 --> 00:10:50,261
Oh, damn,
I bet chucklebrain
271
00:10:50,261 --> 00:10:51,861
forgot to pick up
the napkins.
272
00:10:51,961 --> 00:10:54,661
Oh, no, Sam didn't forget.
273
00:10:54,661 --> 00:10:57,861
Eddie brought these special
wedding ones they had made up.
274
00:10:59,761 --> 00:11:01,261
"We don't want
to get married.
275
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:05,361
We have to. Ha, ha."
276
00:11:05,461 --> 00:11:07,461
Cute.
277
00:11:07,461 --> 00:11:08,861
You see the
little hillbilly
278
00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:11,061
with the shotgun?
279
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:13,661
Yes, he's nice, isn't he?
280
00:11:13,661 --> 00:11:15,861
But I think these are
just a little too funny
281
00:11:15,861 --> 00:11:17,261
for the reception.
282
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:18,561
Burn them.
283
00:11:19,861 --> 00:11:22,761
Did you remember to get
the cinnamon almond decaf?
284
00:11:22,761 --> 00:11:24,161
Yeah, I did.
285
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:25,961
Who likes that?
286
00:11:25,961 --> 00:11:26,961
Evan does.
287
00:11:26,961 --> 00:11:29,161
Everyone does.
288
00:11:29,161 --> 00:11:31,361
Excuse me, Miss Howe,
289
00:11:31,361 --> 00:11:34,461
I know it's none
of my beeswax, but...
290
00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:36,961
it seems to me like
you're awfully nervous
291
00:11:36,961 --> 00:11:39,961
about Mr. Drake
coming by today.
292
00:11:39,961 --> 00:11:43,261
Do you like him
or something?
293
00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:45,161
In a business sense, yes.
294
00:11:45,161 --> 00:11:48,261
I admire his skills
and accomplishments.
295
00:11:48,261 --> 00:11:50,061
You like him.
296
00:11:53,461 --> 00:11:55,161
Boys...
297
00:11:55,161 --> 00:11:56,761
we're all set up
with my buddy Bruce.
298
00:11:56,761 --> 00:11:58,861
He can get us the same
silverware Carla picked out
299
00:11:58,961 --> 00:12:00,961
from the Filene's catalog
for over two-thirds off.
300
00:12:00,961 --> 00:12:02,361
Oh, yeah.
301
00:12:02,361 --> 00:12:04,061
So what's the bite-ski?
302
00:12:04,061 --> 00:12:05,061
20 bucks apiece.
303
00:12:05,061 --> 00:12:06,261
I'll catch you guys later.
304
00:12:06,361 --> 00:12:07,961
Say, Norm, there
isn't any chance
305
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,061
that this stuff
is stolen merchandise, is there?
306
00:12:10,161 --> 00:12:11,361
No, of course not.
307
00:12:11,361 --> 00:12:12,961
Listen, if anyone asks,
308
00:12:12,961 --> 00:12:15,061
we never heard of Bruce,
we can't find the receipt,
309
00:12:15,161 --> 00:12:16,861
and if you run into me
up on the street,
310
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:19,161
call me Larry.
311
00:12:20,861 --> 00:12:23,161
My mind's at ease.
312
00:12:23,261 --> 00:12:25,261
So, Sam, what are you
concocting there?
313
00:12:25,261 --> 00:12:28,061
You know how superstitious
Carla and Eddie are.
314
00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:29,961
I thought I'd mix them
up a batch
315
00:12:30,061 --> 00:12:31,761
of my good-luck
wedding punch.
316
00:12:31,761 --> 00:12:33,061
It never fails.
317
00:12:33,161 --> 00:12:34,561
Isn't that the same
stuff you made
318
00:12:34,661 --> 00:12:35,961
when you were
getting married
319
00:12:35,961 --> 00:12:37,961
to Miss Chambers?
320
00:12:39,361 --> 00:12:41,761
Woody, you want to flush this
down the toilet.
321
00:12:43,361 --> 00:12:44,461
Hi, guys.
322
00:12:44,461 --> 00:12:46,061
Hey.
Hey.
323
00:12:46,061 --> 00:12:49,161
Carla, what are you doing
here on your wedding day?
324
00:12:49,261 --> 00:12:52,361
Oh, oh, actually I came by
to get my last paycheck.
325
00:12:52,361 --> 00:12:53,861
See, the bridal shop
has this policy
326
00:12:53,961 --> 00:12:55,061
about their wedding gowns--
327
00:12:55,161 --> 00:12:57,161
"Fork over the jack,
or it stays on the rack."
328
00:12:57,161 --> 00:12:58,361
So where is it?
329
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:01,061
Oh, I'm so sorry
330
00:13:01,161 --> 00:13:04,661
that I don't have it ready
for you right this very second.
331
00:13:04,661 --> 00:13:06,361
I guess
I've just been busy
332
00:13:06,361 --> 00:13:07,861
putting up
every single decoration
333
00:13:07,861 --> 00:13:09,461
and ordering
all the hors d'oeuvres
334
00:13:09,461 --> 00:13:11,861
and getting a band together
at the very last minute
335
00:13:11,961 --> 00:13:15,261
so that your reception
could be just perfect for you.
336
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:16,961
Could you step on it?
I'm in a hurry.
337
00:13:18,261 --> 00:13:20,361
Soda, bartender.
338
00:13:20,361 --> 00:13:22,661
Coming right up.
339
00:13:22,661 --> 00:13:25,361
So how's the bride
on her big day?
340
00:13:25,361 --> 00:13:26,861
Couldn't be better, Sammy.
341
00:13:26,861 --> 00:13:29,261
All celestial omens
are favorable.
342
00:13:29,261 --> 00:13:32,261
Seems that Eddie and I picked
the one day this century
343
00:13:32,261 --> 00:13:34,461
when all the planets
and constellations
344
00:13:34,461 --> 00:13:35,861
are in perfect alignment.
345
00:13:35,961 --> 00:13:38,561
So either we get married
by 4:00 today,
346
00:13:38,661 --> 00:13:40,861
or we wait
until the year 2042.
347
00:13:42,161 --> 00:13:43,561
I don't know, call
me old-fashioned,
348
00:13:43,661 --> 00:13:45,261
but I still think you
ought to get married
349
00:13:45,261 --> 00:13:46,561
before your baby does.
350
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,861
How'd you manage to
swing a church wedding?
351
00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:52,961
You know, being
divorced and all.
352
00:13:52,961 --> 00:13:54,361
Don't you remember?
353
00:13:54,461 --> 00:13:57,061
I had my marriage to Nick
annulled years ago.
354
00:13:57,061 --> 00:13:59,261
Oh, right, right,
right, right. Took forever.
355
00:13:59,261 --> 00:14:00,361
Mm-hmm.
356
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:01,861
But things got
speeded up
357
00:14:01,961 --> 00:14:03,961
when Nick tried to sell
the Bishop his watch.
358
00:14:05,861 --> 00:14:07,761
Oh, hey,
isn't that Eddie LeBec
359
00:14:07,761 --> 00:14:09,561
sashaying down those
stairs, there, Doc?
360
00:14:09,561 --> 00:14:10,961
Sure looks like it.
But Carla's here.
361
00:14:11,061 --> 00:14:12,161
Isn't there
some superstition
362
00:14:12,161 --> 00:14:14,361
about the groom seeing the bride
before the wedding?
363
00:14:20,061 --> 00:14:21,661
Nobody believes
in that anymore.
364
00:14:34,199 --> 00:14:35,799
You saw me.
365
00:14:35,799 --> 00:14:36,499
I saw you.
366
00:14:36,599 --> 00:14:37,299
I saw you see me.
367
00:14:37,299 --> 00:14:38,499
I saw you see me see you.
368
00:14:38,499 --> 00:14:39,699
Oh...
Shut up.
369
00:14:39,799 --> 00:14:41,599
You're making it worse.
370
00:14:41,599 --> 00:14:43,399
Oh, my God.
371
00:14:43,399 --> 00:14:45,399
We were so careful
about every single thing,
372
00:14:45,499 --> 00:14:46,899
and then we blew
373
00:14:46,999 --> 00:14:49,499
the single most important
superstition of all--
374
00:14:49,499 --> 00:14:51,999
seeing the bride on
the day of the wedding.
375
00:14:51,999 --> 00:14:53,299
What are you
doing here?
376
00:14:53,399 --> 00:14:55,299
I was meeting my mother.
What are you doing here?
377
00:14:55,299 --> 00:14:57,699
I came by to get my check!
378
00:14:57,699 --> 00:14:59,399
That's it.
379
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:00,199
We've blown it.
380
00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:01,399
We can't get
married now.
381
00:15:01,499 --> 00:15:03,999
Call me in 2042.
382
00:15:04,099 --> 00:15:05,799
Yeah, okay. I'll see ya.
383
00:15:07,099 --> 00:15:08,699
You guys are kidding.
384
00:15:08,799 --> 00:15:09,999
Come on. Eddie.
385
00:15:09,999 --> 00:15:13,099
Wait a minute.
What am I doing?
386
00:15:13,099 --> 00:15:14,899
Carla...
387
00:15:14,899 --> 00:15:16,999
Look, I don't want
to give up the best thing
388
00:15:17,099 --> 00:15:18,299
that ever happened to me.
389
00:15:18,399 --> 00:15:19,599
Oh, come off it, Eddie.
390
00:15:19,599 --> 00:15:21,999
You're just as
superstitious as I am.
391
00:15:22,099 --> 00:15:23,299
Well, not anymore.
392
00:15:23,399 --> 00:15:24,699
And I'm going
to prove to you
393
00:15:24,699 --> 00:15:26,499
there's nothing
to all that mumbo jumbo.
394
00:15:26,499 --> 00:15:27,699
Woody, hand me a mirror.
395
00:15:27,699 --> 00:15:29,199
Huh?
396
00:15:29,199 --> 00:15:31,199
You know, the one Sam's
always looking at himself in.
397
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,499
What are you
going to do?
398
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:34,799
I'm going to break it.
399
00:15:34,899 --> 00:15:36,799
The bad luck is
starting already.
400
00:15:36,799 --> 00:15:37,999
He's lost his mind.
401
00:15:39,899 --> 00:15:42,699
Hey, that's my mirror.
402
00:15:43,699 --> 00:15:45,099
You see? Nothing.
403
00:15:45,099 --> 00:15:48,399
The ground didn't open up
and swallow me.
404
00:15:48,399 --> 00:15:50,399
That's because they want
you out in the open
405
00:15:50,499 --> 00:15:52,599
where lightning
can get you.
406
00:15:53,999 --> 00:15:55,499
Don't do that!
407
00:15:55,599 --> 00:15:56,899
Oh!
408
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,399
Which shoulder do you throw
salt over to avoid bad luck?
409
00:15:59,399 --> 00:16:00,599
The left, the left.
410
00:16:00,699 --> 00:16:01,699
No! No, no!
411
00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:04,299
Forgive him,
demons of Hell.
412
00:16:04,299 --> 00:16:06,499
He's a hockey player.
413
00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:09,299
Don't, don't answer it.
Don't, don't...
414
00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:10,299
Cheers.
415
00:16:10,299 --> 00:16:11,299
Thanks, Woody.
416
00:16:11,299 --> 00:16:12,399
Carla, it's for you.
417
00:16:14,299 --> 00:16:17,899
Go on. Go on, answer it.
418
00:16:17,899 --> 00:16:20,299
Would you take it.
419
00:16:20,399 --> 00:16:22,299
Come on.
420
00:16:25,099 --> 00:16:27,099
Hello.
421
00:16:27,199 --> 00:16:30,199
Oh, hi, Dr. Nadelson.
422
00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:32,899
How did my tests come out?
423
00:16:32,999 --> 00:16:34,999
You've got to be kidding.
424
00:16:34,999 --> 00:16:37,299
What? What is it?
425
00:16:37,299 --> 00:16:38,699
Twins.
426
00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:44,499
He spills the salt,
he breaks the mirror,
427
00:16:44,499 --> 00:16:46,899
and I'm the one
having twins.
428
00:16:46,899 --> 00:16:50,299
I told you something
horrible was going to happen.
429
00:16:50,299 --> 00:16:51,299
What is so bad?
430
00:16:51,299 --> 00:16:53,399
Twins means
we're twice blessed.
431
00:16:53,499 --> 00:16:54,599
Yeah, I had twins once.
432
00:16:54,599 --> 00:16:56,399
It was the happiest
day of my life.
433
00:16:57,399 --> 00:16:58,999
Lighten up.
434
00:16:58,999 --> 00:17:01,499
Lighten up.
435
00:17:01,499 --> 00:17:04,699
Carla... Carla,
this is great.
436
00:17:04,799 --> 00:17:07,799
Eddie...
437
00:17:09,199 --> 00:17:11,099
You're really happy
about this?
438
00:17:11,199 --> 00:17:13,799
I'm the happiest
man on Earth.
439
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:16,099
Listen, Carla,
you and me, we can...
440
00:17:16,099 --> 00:17:17,899
we can overcome
any obstacles
441
00:17:17,999 --> 00:17:19,299
that are in our way.
442
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:25,199
You're a great guy, Eddie.
443
00:17:25,199 --> 00:17:26,799
Dumb as a skate blade,
444
00:17:26,799 --> 00:17:29,199
but a great guy.
445
00:17:29,199 --> 00:17:30,999
Ma!
446
00:17:31,099 --> 00:17:32,599
Oh, my baby's home!
447
00:17:32,599 --> 00:17:35,599
You see? I knew
things would look up.
448
00:17:35,699 --> 00:17:36,899
What's wrong?
449
00:17:36,899 --> 00:17:37,899
Ma, nothing.
450
00:17:37,999 --> 00:17:38,999
Everything's aces.
451
00:17:38,999 --> 00:17:40,899
It's just that, hey,
when you called
452
00:17:40,999 --> 00:17:42,299
about getting remarried,
453
00:17:42,299 --> 00:17:43,899
I realized
how much I love you.
454
00:17:43,999 --> 00:17:46,299
I just wanted to be
with you on this day.
455
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:47,699
And?
456
00:17:47,699 --> 00:17:49,999
Uh, and Dad's TV shop--
it went under.
457
00:17:50,099 --> 00:17:52,399
We got evicted,
and I can't get unemployment
458
00:17:52,499 --> 00:17:54,899
'cause Daddy didn't declare me
an employee.
459
00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:57,399
Well, I'm just glad
460
00:17:57,499 --> 00:18:00,299
my little boy's
here for my wedding.
461
00:18:00,299 --> 00:18:02,799
What about his lovely wife?
462
00:18:02,799 --> 00:18:05,699
I'm just glad my little
boy's here for my wedding.
463
00:18:07,399 --> 00:18:09,599
Actually,
Mother Tortelli,
464
00:18:09,599 --> 00:18:12,899
we didn't want
to return to Vegas.
465
00:18:12,999 --> 00:18:14,199
We don't think
it's any place
466
00:18:14,199 --> 00:18:15,599
for children
to grow up.
467
00:18:15,599 --> 00:18:17,699
You're having a kid?
468
00:18:17,699 --> 00:18:19,799
I'm talking about us.
469
00:18:21,599 --> 00:18:24,999
So, if we could find
someone here in Boston
470
00:18:24,999 --> 00:18:26,599
with an nice house
471
00:18:26,599 --> 00:18:28,399
and lots of extra room...
472
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:31,399
Do you know anyone
like that, Mother Tortelli?
473
00:18:31,399 --> 00:18:32,599
No, no, no.
474
00:18:32,599 --> 00:18:34,599
You don't want to come live
475
00:18:34,699 --> 00:18:37,599
in my little, tiny,
overcrowded house.
476
00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:38,999
Ma, it's just temporary.
477
00:18:38,999 --> 00:18:40,999
Just till I get
back on my feet.
478
00:18:42,399 --> 00:18:43,699
Hey, if it's a problem,
479
00:18:43,799 --> 00:18:45,899
we'll find someplace
else to stay.
480
00:18:45,899 --> 00:18:47,099
Yeah. I think I saw
481
00:18:47,099 --> 00:18:49,199
a nice cardboard box
in the alley.
482
00:18:49,299 --> 00:18:51,099
See, see?
What did I tell ya?
483
00:18:51,099 --> 00:18:54,199
This is the bad luck
I've been warning you about.
484
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,199
Carla, don't
worry about it.
485
00:18:56,199 --> 00:18:57,299
I mean, the more
the merrier.
486
00:18:57,399 --> 00:18:58,399
Look, I'm going to get
487
00:18:58,399 --> 00:18:59,799
a major salary bump
this season,
488
00:18:59,899 --> 00:19:02,399
and then I'll buy us all
the biggest house in Boston.
489
00:19:02,399 --> 00:19:05,099
Wow. A new house?
490
00:19:05,099 --> 00:19:06,399
You bet.
491
00:19:06,499 --> 00:19:07,999
Now do you
finally believe
492
00:19:07,999 --> 00:19:10,199
that nothing bad
is going to happen?
493
00:19:10,299 --> 00:19:11,699
No. I'll just have
more closet space
494
00:19:11,699 --> 00:19:13,199
when it does.
495
00:19:13,199 --> 00:19:16,899
Anthony, I'm Eddie LeBec.
496
00:19:16,899 --> 00:19:18,299
I guess I'm your
new stepfather.
497
00:19:18,399 --> 00:19:20,499
I'm hoping one day
you'll call me "Dad."
498
00:19:20,499 --> 00:19:24,199
Hey, Nick Tortelli
is my dad.
499
00:19:24,199 --> 00:19:26,399
You are not my father,
500
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:27,599
and you never will be!
501
00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:28,199
Anthony!
502
00:19:28,199 --> 00:19:29,299
You only knocked up my ma
503
00:19:29,299 --> 00:19:30,599
so she'd have to marry you.
504
00:19:31,799 --> 00:19:34,899
Ma, I'm sorry.
The guy was asking for it.
505
00:19:36,899 --> 00:19:37,999
Come on, Annie,
let's go.
506
00:19:37,999 --> 00:19:39,799
Forgive him.
507
00:19:39,799 --> 00:19:41,899
He has the hot passion
of his race,
508
00:19:41,899 --> 00:19:44,499
and I have the envy
of every woman I know.
509
00:19:49,499 --> 00:19:51,899
Well, this is it.
510
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:52,899
This is the bad luck.
511
00:19:52,899 --> 00:19:54,299
I mean, what
could be worse
512
00:19:54,299 --> 00:19:56,099
than my kid hating
my husband?
513
00:19:56,099 --> 00:19:56,999
Look, it's okay.
514
00:19:57,099 --> 00:19:58,099
He's just a kid.
515
00:19:58,199 --> 00:19:59,999
Oh, you don't
get it, Eddie.
516
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,799
He's the nicest
one I got.
517
00:20:03,299 --> 00:20:06,499
Look, Carla, he's just
being protective of his mother.
518
00:20:06,599 --> 00:20:08,499
God knows
that I think my maman's
519
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,099
the greatest woman
on Earth.
520
00:20:10,099 --> 00:20:13,199
And I can only hope
that our kids feel the same way.
521
00:20:13,199 --> 00:20:16,599
Are you from this planet?
522
00:20:19,499 --> 00:20:21,999
Carla, here's your
final paycheck.
523
00:20:22,099 --> 00:20:23,299
Thank...
524
00:20:23,399 --> 00:20:26,499
I might say that you have
been a unique employee,
525
00:20:26,499 --> 00:20:27,999
and it's going to
be very difficult
526
00:20:28,099 --> 00:20:29,199
to fill your uniform.
527
00:20:29,299 --> 00:20:30,399
Thanks.
528
00:20:30,399 --> 00:20:31,799
You don't happen to know
529
00:20:31,799 --> 00:20:34,999
any other short, pregnant
cocktail waitresses, do you?
530
00:20:39,899 --> 00:20:40,999
Yeah, can I help you?
531
00:20:40,999 --> 00:20:42,599
Eddie LeBec.
532
00:20:42,599 --> 00:20:44,499
Maman?!
533
00:20:44,599 --> 00:20:46,099
Tu es merveilleuse!
534
00:20:46,099 --> 00:20:50,999
Je ne peux plus attendrepour que tu rencontre Carla.
535
00:20:51,099 --> 00:20:53,099
Là voil, au bar.
536
00:20:56,199 --> 00:20:57,999
Carla...
537
00:20:57,999 --> 00:21:00,099
Carla. Carla.
538
00:21:00,099 --> 00:21:02,999
Non, Maman...Maman...
539
00:21:02,999 --> 00:21:06,299
Eddie, c'est qu'elle est belle.
540
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:08,199
Non, non, Maman.
541
00:21:08,299 --> 00:21:09,699
C'est Carla.
542
00:21:13,199 --> 00:21:14,699
Carla!
543
00:21:14,699 --> 00:21:17,099
Non, non, Maman.
544
00:21:18,399 --> 00:21:19,899
No, no, no, no.
545
00:21:19,899 --> 00:21:22,199
Me Rebecca.
546
00:21:22,199 --> 00:21:24,899
Her Carla.
547
00:21:24,899 --> 00:21:27,499
Enjoy.
548
00:21:29,199 --> 00:21:30,499
Carla.
549
00:21:30,599 --> 00:21:32,199
I'm so happy
to meet you.
550
00:21:32,299 --> 00:21:34,399
Non. Non.
551
00:21:34,399 --> 00:21:37,199
Je ne permettraijamais mon fils
552
00:21:37,199 --> 00:21:38,399
à marier ce petit souris
553
00:21:38,499 --> 00:21:39,899
avec le grand ventre.
554
00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:42,599
Maman... Maman...Je ne permettrai ce mariage...
555
00:21:42,599 --> 00:21:45,299
noon, avec le...Maman.
556
00:21:45,299 --> 00:21:47,299
O, mon Dieu!
557
00:21:47,299 --> 00:21:49,599
She says she has to catch a bus.
558
00:21:49,699 --> 00:21:51,199
Maman!
559
00:21:54,199 --> 00:21:57,199
I get the feeling
she wasn't nuts about me.
560
00:21:58,499 --> 00:21:59,399
What'd she say?
561
00:21:59,399 --> 00:22:01,099
What makes you
think I'd know?
562
00:22:01,199 --> 00:22:03,399
'Cause all you pompous
windbags speak French.
563
00:22:05,399 --> 00:22:07,799
She said she'll never
allow this marriage.
564
00:22:07,799 --> 00:22:09,499
Especially to a
pregnant hussy
565
00:22:09,499 --> 00:22:11,499
who's only trying
to trap her son.
566
00:22:11,499 --> 00:22:14,599
Then she said she'd rather
be dragged around town
567
00:22:14,599 --> 00:22:16,099
by her tongue...
568
00:22:16,199 --> 00:22:20,199
or else she called you
a small grapefruit.
569
00:22:21,599 --> 00:22:24,499
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,
wait a minute.
570
00:22:24,499 --> 00:22:26,399
Before you say anything,
571
00:22:26,399 --> 00:22:28,599
I know what your
mother said.
572
00:22:28,599 --> 00:22:32,099
And it doesn't
matter to me.
573
00:22:32,099 --> 00:22:35,499
You finally convinced me
that our love can conquer
574
00:22:35,599 --> 00:22:37,899
any bad luck that
comes our way.
575
00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:39,099
I mean it.
576
00:22:39,199 --> 00:22:40,699
Anthony and Annie
moving in,
577
00:22:40,699 --> 00:22:42,099
your ma hating me,
578
00:22:42,199 --> 00:22:44,299
Anthony hating
you, twins...
579
00:22:44,299 --> 00:22:45,599
Every time one of these
580
00:22:45,699 --> 00:22:46,999
little piddling
things came up,
581
00:22:46,999 --> 00:22:48,099
I kept thinking
582
00:22:48,199 --> 00:22:50,099
you were going to say
the wedding's off.
583
00:22:50,099 --> 00:22:51,199
The wedding's off.
584
00:22:51,299 --> 00:22:52,399
Yeah, that's what I kept
585
00:22:52,499 --> 00:22:53,599
expecting you to say.
586
00:22:53,599 --> 00:22:54,499
The wedding's off.
587
00:22:54,499 --> 00:22:55,899
Yeah, yeah,
we're all clear
588
00:22:55,899 --> 00:22:57,399
on what I thought
you'd say.
589
00:22:57,399 --> 00:22:59,099
The wedding's off.
590
00:23:02,099 --> 00:23:04,299
But you never said it.
41997
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