Original subtitles

It is estimated that there are some ten quintillion insects alive

at any one time. But forget about them.

This is about me, Lloyd. I'm a fly.

Mmm, breakfast. Most important meal of the day.

Sets you up to go out and find other, better meals.

Where's Lloyd? Not like him to be late for breakfast.

Sorry. Must be tired.

Bit of trouble getting up.

And sitting down.

Get off!

PB, why are you in my seat?

Hmm.

Mum, Lloyd's acting weird. Well, weirder.

Lloyd, why are you acting weird?

I'm not.

Late for breakfast, sitting on your sister. Here.

Let me take your temperature. Come on.

Stop it. I'm a grown fly. Oh.

I'm perfectly capable of assessing my own well-being,

and I'm totally fine. Oh, breakfast.

Lloyd, that's a dishcloth.

Oh. Huh. So, it is.

It tastes like fruit, so very easy mistake to make.

Right. Got to go. Meeting Abacus. Everything's normal.

Ha. Ah!

PB, go keep an eye on your brother, and no arguments.

Who's arguing? I want to see what he does next.

Am I missing something here?

Ugh.

Nope.

Tastes like a dishcloth.

Uh, huh.

Right. Do your worst, Abacus. I'm on top form today.

Says the fly who just ate a dishcloth for breakfast.

Oh, have you started a high-fibres diet?

No, uh, it was a simple mistake.

I-I had more important things on my mind.

Like this game.

Now, ball!

Right. Sorry.

Huh?

You are out!

What? No. Come on, come on! Abacus cheated!

Look, he threw six balls at once! He can't do that. It's not cricket.

It's grasshopper, a very different game!

I'm sure I only threw the one ball.

Yes. The one I caught, which means you are out.

Ha! Yeah, well, whatever.

I prefer bowling, anyway. Abacus, you're up.

Hmm.

Oh, brace yourself, Abacus.

Let's see if you can handle my full-force spinner.

Hah!

Grasshopper, grasshopper, grasshopper, grasshopper.

Grasshopper, grasshopper...

Oof! Yes!

It's gone in the pot plant.

Out of bounds! I'll go get it!

I'm starting to suspect

there might be something wrong with Lloyd.

You've noticed, too? You're out, by the way.

Took a bit of digging, but I found the ball.

That's a carpet beetle.

Ah.

That explains why I had to chase it, then.

Maybe we should do something less active.

Well, I suppose I have been a bit tired recently.

I haven't really slept since we went to the "Arachnofly" live show.

That was three nights ago.

I, I can't help it. I'm still buzzing.

Buzz Barton Fly is the best Arachnofly ever.

What a show!

Got to say, I don't think much of this week's "Arachnofly."

Erm, it's a bit confusing.

It's upside down.

Is it? Oh.

Nope. Still doesn't make sense. I'm bored of this comic.

Let's go home.

Uh, we are home.

Molly and Polly, why are you in my home?

This is our home, Lloyd.

Wh-- What? What's all this new stuff everywhere?

Those are our things. Put that down.

Oh. Whoops!

My Devorochy original!

Sorry! Sorry! I'm so sorry!

That was my fault. Lloyd, please leave.

Hmm.

Lloyd, are you sure you're OK?

Well... Yeah, OK. Maybe I'm a bit disorientated.

It's nothing a little rest won't fix.

Hmm.

Why are we coming in through the window?

To avoid Mum and Dad.

They'll just ask questions and worry.

Worry about what?

Nothing. Nothing's wrong.

I'm just going to my room...

where I wish to be undisturbed for the rest of the day.

Uh, can we help, son? Not necessary. Thank you.

I'm perfectly capable of getting through a door by myself.

He was peaky at breakfast.

He's been like this since breakfast?

If anything, he's gotten worse.

Why have you put a wall where the doorway is?

Right. I'll call the doctor.

Doctor! Yoo-hoo! We need the doctor, please!

Hello, there!

Dr Wasp, thanks for coming so quickly.

Thank goodness you called! I see the problem.

Pale complexion...

...tired eyes, poor posture... Whoa!

Whoa! ...insufficient wings.

Uh, actually, Malcolm's not the patient.

It's our son, Lloyd.

Hmm.

What's wrong with me wings?

Please stick out your proboscis and say, "Ahh!"

Ahhhhhh.

Can you all come down from the ceiling, please?

It's very distracting. I think I see the problem.

Let me guess, confusion, distorted vision,

difficulty flying straight. Well, yeah, maybe.

But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me.

What's wrong with him, Doctor?

I'm afraid your son has dirty antennae!

What? Lloyd, have you not been washing your antennae?

Everyone knows you have to wash your antennae, son.

Even I know you have to wash your antennae.

Oh, Lloyd, you must wash your antennae.

Well, I, Yeah, of cour... Yes, I have washed my antennae.

When! Uh, recently.

Just, like, a day ago. Or two. Or three.

Three days!

What, not since... Oh.

That was the best "Arachnofly" play yet!

You know that bit when Buzz Barton Fly swooped low

over the audience?

He actually... He brushed my antennae!

Amazing. I'm so pleased for you, Lloyd.

Do you think raw acting talent and charisma

can be transferred via touch?

It's very unlikely.

So, that's a maybe.

No harm in never washing my antennae ever again,

just in case.

You've not washed your antennae

because the actor playing Arachnofly touched them?

No. No, I... Maybe I like having dirty antennae.

Maybe I like the challenge.

Y-Yes! Actually, it's a personal choice.

I'd understand if it was Dolichovsky.

I loved his portrayal. I don't know why they replaced him.

Oh, c... What? Dolichovsky was a terrible Arachnofly.

Ugh. Way too comical.

Buzz Barton Fly really gets the character,

the struggle, the self-sacrifice.

So, are you gonna wash yourself, or do I have to fetch a flannel?

Tell you what. I'll lick them clean for you.

Save you the trouble. Uh, no way!

I'll wash them when I want to wash them!

Let them help you, Lloyd.

You can't gang up on me like this! Just leave me alone!

Stop him! He's a danger to himself!

Where'd he go? Who knows?

Lloyd certainly doesn't.

He could be anywhere, lost and helpless.

So what if I'm a bit wonky? I know what I'm doing.

I can cope. I don't need help from anyone.

I'm not a maggot.

Oh, hello, Lloyd. Aah! Corneas!

Huh? Watch out! Coming through.

Oh, excuse me! Oh, oh!

Watch out! Yeah... Oh, there you are.

Aah! Oof!

A-Are you OK, Lloyd? Aah! Me, me? I'm fine.

Nothing wrong with me. Huh? Huh?

Where'd the rest of you go? I, I don't know.

Well, probably for the best. See you later, Cornea.

Are you sure you're OK, Lloyd?

Aaaaah!

Where are my wings? My wings are gone!

Have they?

Aaaah!

My beautiful wings! Aaah, they've fallen off!

I'm wingless!

Ah, ah, ah.

Help! Help! I can't fly! I'm gonna fall!

Corneaaaa!

Lloyd!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Oh!

Are you feeling OK, Lloyd?

Cornea? Are you falling, too?

No, you landed on the knob for the hob.

Oh. But what about my wings?

Did... Did you see where they went?

They are still attached to you.

Oh.

I, uh, think it might be time I had a wash.

Sounds lovely.

Would you mind carrying me home?

I, uh, still feel like I'm wingless and falling,

which, uh, isn't great.

Happy to! Come on.

Oh, where is Lloyd? I hope he's OK.

Oh, I am better than OK, Abacus.

Wow! Lloyd, you're...

Oh, he's gleaming. Look at him.

Oh, I've never seen such a clean pair of antennae.

Yep, gave them a good old wash.

Figured it was about time. Feeling much better.

Oof. Now, what's for lunch?

We made your favourite... dishcloth.

Oh, hardy har, Dad.

Captions by Red Bee Media

Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation