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1
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- I am the matriarch
of a great American family
2
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taking on the ultimate challenge:
3
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,051
the perfect family meal.
4
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,803
- I understand, Mama Clara.
- Working in a small takeout franchise
5
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:15,057
is traditionally a gateway
to bigger and better things.
6
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,059
- In understand, Mama Clara.
- When you create synergies,
7
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:20,312
- you solve problems.
- I understand, Mama Clara.
8
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,648
- But that is what happens
when I go to the bathroom
9
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:25,400
and leave you in charge
of the french fries.
10
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,611
Well, give me another chance. [boom!]
11
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,988
- Ahhh!
- Give your Uncle Bob another chance.
12
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,241
Bob, you're no uncle and I'm no mama.
13
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,244
Cute names are company policy, that's all!
14
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,412
Just feel-good stuff
so they can pay you less.
15
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,748
But we're family! Look around!
16
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,250
- UH!
- Ohhhh!
17
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,459
Dad!
18
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,503
- Ahhhhh!
- You okay?
19
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:45,837
Dad!
20
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:49,508
- We're family!
- This is my real father, Bob!
21
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,009
There's a difference!
22
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,603
{\an8}[sirens wailing]
23
00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:10,153
{\an8}Time was drifted This rock had got to roll
24
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:13,782
{\an8}So I hit the road and made my getaway
25
00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:16,660
{\an8}Restless feeling
26
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:20,163
{\an8}- Really got a hold
- Sorry!
27
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:23,292
{\an8}I started searching for a better way
28
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:29,631
{\an8}But I kept on looking for a signin the middle of the night
29
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,133
{\an8}But I couldn't see the light
30
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,386
{\an8}No, no, no, stop, stop, stop! [honking]
31
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,846
{\an8}Ahhhhh!
32
00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:39,516
{\an8}To take me through the night
33
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,643
{\an8}- I couldn't get it right
- Help!
34
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,104
{\an8}Help! I couldn't get it right
35
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:47,691
{\an8}Grab on to this rope here!
36
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,067
{\an8}Pull it.
37
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,403
{\an8}Ahhhh! L.A. fever
38
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:54,698
{\an8}Made me feel alright Ah!
39
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:58,535
{\an8}But I must admit it got the best of me
40
00:01:58,660 --> 00:01:59,870
{\an8}Hi, people.
41
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:03,123
{\an8}Getting down so deep I could have drowned
42
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,624
{\an8}Oh, save the fishes! Save the fishes!
43
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:07,711
{\an8}Now I can't get back the way I used to be
44
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:13,967
{\an8}But I kept on looking for a signin the middle of the night
45
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:18,930
{\an8}But I couldn't see the lightno I couldn't see the light
46
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,182
{\an8}[monkey screeching]
47
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:24,478
{\an8}To take me through the night-ight-ight
48
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:27,939
{\an8}Couldn't get it right I'm an
astronaut, I'm a ballerina!
49
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,108
{\an8}I'm an astronaut, I'm a ballerina!
50
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,777
{\an8}[babies crying]
51
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,667
{\an8}- Shave, shave, shave--
- Ahhhh!
52
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,043
{\an8}Sorry.
53
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,128
{\an8}New York City
54
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:53,674
{\an8}Took me with the tide
55
00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:57,135
{\an8}And I nearly died from hospitality
56
00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:00,013
{\an8}Left me stranded
57
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,808
{\an8}Took away my pride
58
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:06,853
{\an8}Just another no-account fatality
59
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:09,481
{\an8}- Ahhhh!
- Oh.
60
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,275
Looking for a signin the middle of the night
61
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,820
But I couldn't see the light
62
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:17,489
No I couldn't see the light
63
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,950
Huh, I'm gonna need a bigger board.
64
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,162
It's not a big deal, Rascal.
65
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,164
We're only on the Bs, remember.
66
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,875
[Rascal squeaking] Got all this to go.
67
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,962
Okay, so we did burger
assistant. Next up, we have...
68
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,713
business consulting.
69
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:36,258
Butcher? [loud squeaking]
70
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,136
Oh, whoa. Hey, listen to this.
71
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:40,679
Listen.
72
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:44,266
"Cosmopolitan Butler School
73
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,852
Become part of a family in 5 days"
74
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,478
Rascal, [squeaking]
75
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:51,731
We're going butling.
76
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,744
[scooter backfires repeatedly]
77
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,133
Do you think you canna be a Lassie?
78
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,680
- Nine-thirty? [whistle blowing]
79
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,267
Good morning, students.
80
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,519
[all]: Good morning, sir.
81
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:30,854
Two lines, please.
82
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,565
Chop, chop!
83
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:34,941
My name is Butler.
84
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:38,487
I'm a born butler
in all senses of the phrase.
85
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,864
I come from a long line of butlers.
86
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,365
In only five days,
87
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:45,410
you will each receive
a certificate of competence
88
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:49,623
to wait on any family
on this side of the pond.
89
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,541
For those that are interested,
90
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:54,961
the full English course
lasts a further 17 years.
91
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,588
Standards are slightly higher.
92
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,716
So, what does a butler...
93
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,968
do? Hmm?
94
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,513
Answer: everything.
95
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,432
He must cook, clean, tend the garden,
96
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:10,477
groom the horses,
write letters, iron shirts.
97
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:13,355
arrange appointments,
greet guests, run baths,
98
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,108
buy groceries, pack cases, unpack cases,
99
00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:19,736
make reservations, cancel reservations
100
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:23,365
and still find time to be a confidant.
101
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,992
Understood? [all]: Yes, sir.
102
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,202
Yes, sir!
103
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,373
Grooming is crucial to the role.
104
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:38,129
Substantial facial hair
is quite unacceptable.
105
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,965
Rabbi, how would you serve soup?
106
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,007
- But really--
107
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,635
It goes, or you go.
108
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:44,970
Oh.
109
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,766
Butlers must be immaculately dressed.
110
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:54,271
So what's your excuse,
you miserable heap of mess?
111
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:57,315
- This is me tidy.
- Not in my book.
112
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,610
Do you possess any
offensively tasteless tattoos
113
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,071
perpetrated in a drunken haze?
114
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,116
No.
115
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,618
Any piercings of body parts?
116
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,996
- I do have a series
of small holes in my tongue
117
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,289
from when I was six.
118
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,165
My cousin, he gave me
a black-sea-urchin thing
119
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,959
and told me it was a chocolate muffin.
120
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,794
[man stifling laughter]
121
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,671
I think they've...
122
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:20,964
grown over.
123
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,008
Show me your nipples.
124
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,634
[man stifled laughter]
125
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,636
My nipples?
126
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,263
Yes, your nipples.
127
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,437
Hmm...
128
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:38,356
You can't blame a man for asking.
129
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,984
Frankly, you look the weird sort.
130
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:42,944
I'm weird?
131
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,882
Come on, come on!
132
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:08,219
Tess! Tess!
133
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,393
This elevator has already left.
134
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,355
Ssstop that! You're causing a delay.
135
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,273
- I have an important meeting.
- If was so important,
136
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,233
you would've left earlier, like I did.
137
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,943
Mother, you're embarrassing us.
138
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,612
Stop.
139
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,114
Ow.
140
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:30,825
- Witch!
- That's a rude person.
141
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,118
- Suck-up.
142
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:36,623
- Any news, Judith?
- Not yet.
143
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,083
Okay.
144
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,585
Kate.
145
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,382
- All right, go.
- Mr. Dickens called.
146
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:46,758
- Urgent.
- Skip. Next.
147
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,552
Next, the investment
conference call. Urgent.
148
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:50,762
Save. Next.
149
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,263
Jacques called about dinner on Monday.
150
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,474
Confirm. Eight o'clock.
151
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,185
It's them.
152
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,896
Okay. Put 'em through.
153
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,106
Good luck.
154
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:06,361
A word or two about money.
155
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,947
Money makes the world go round,
doesn't it?
156
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,032
- [all]: Yes, Mr. Butler.
- Balderdash.
157
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,325
Trust, not money.
158
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:15,620
That's what makes the world go round.
159
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:18,206
If I haven't been able to produce
160
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,584
at least one trustworthy butler
out of this course,
161
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:24,254
- then I've wasted my time.
- Ah-ah!
162
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,506
Sorry. Sorry!
163
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:27,882
As I've made clear,
164
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,301
you will be in complete control
of the household.
165
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:33,805
However, you will be treated by
all other members of the household
166
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,890
as if you were slightly less significant
167
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,017
than a piece of used toilet paper.
168
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:42,856
To simulate this, I've devised a
rather amusing little exercise.
169
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,822
You're enjoying this, aren't you?
170
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,366
- I'm getting no pleasure
from it whatsoever!
171
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:55,493
Yeah, right.
172
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:56,578
Bull'seye!
173
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,747
Now, look,
174
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,666
open wide for one teeny,
175
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,544
weeny little baked bean,
176
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,379
or I'll tell your mom.
177
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,923
But I'll tell her you hit me.
178
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,258
What?!
179
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,053
- I'll tell her you hit me
and pulled my hair.
180
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,432
- Ahhhhh!
- Okay, leave the friggin' food.
181
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,850
You swore!
182
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,395
You swore in front of my little brother.
183
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,482
Can I watch MTV tonight?
184
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:28,860
- I will not be blackmailed
by you children.
185
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:31,863
[screaming]
186
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,335
Mrs. Withington, what happened?!
187
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:51,007
- Sorry, Miss Jamieson,
but they are the devil's seed!
188
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,551
Oh, no, they're just playing with you.
189
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,888
They're delightful children,
really. Underneath all the horrible stuff.
190
00:09:57,013 --> 00:10:00,975
Please, I promised Jacques
I would not let him down again.
191
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,435
- Ho-ho!
- Ah!
192
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,909
Babysitters...
193
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,957
[phone ringing]
194
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,211
Hello?
195
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:29,754
Bob the Babysitter?
196
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,840
No, ma'am. This is Bob the Butler.
197
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,424
Now, look.
198
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:37,303
I definitely have this number
down for Bob the Babysitter.
199
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:40,014
Well, that was at least seven jobs back.
200
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,392
But you were a babysitter once?
201
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,726
Well, yes.
202
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,187
- Ahem. Just once.
- Oh, please,
203
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,606
- this is an emergency.
- One minute, please.
204
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,402
Rascal, damsel in distress.
205
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:55,196
May I have your leave?
206
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,323
[squeaking] Thank you, Master Rascal.
207
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,203
I'd be happy to.
208
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:22,974
Oh... my. Are you Bob?
209
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,809
At your service.
210
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,187
- You-you have a piece of tomato
in your hair.
211
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,438
Oh.
212
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,358
Ew.
213
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,027
Gone.
214
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:37,322
- Okay, well, um,
I want you to meet my children.
215
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:39,616
This is my daughter, Tess.
216
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:42,327
Miss Tess. Hello. Lovely name.
217
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:43,995
My son, Bates.
218
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,747
Mm. Master...
219
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,540
Bates.
220
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,250
Also lovely.
221
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,169
- Gross.
- What's gross?
222
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:52,337
Okay.
223
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:57,008
Have to go, so do me a favour and...
224
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,177
do not hurt him.
225
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:02,597
Bob, please don't sit on any of
the nice chairs unless you have to.
226
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,140
Okay.
227
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,601
- What's gross?
- Never mind.
228
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,686
Good night, children.
229
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,272
Good night, Mother.
230
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,107
Enjoy your romantic evening out.
231
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,609
Have fun!
232
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,619
Don't forget the back ones, Master.
233
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:28,248
- Why do you call me Master?
- I'm studying to be a butler.
234
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,708
I don't like it.
235
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:34,504
Master Bates. It just feels wrong.
236
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:36,339
Indeed.
237
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,132
How about I call you Bates?
238
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:43,012
- I like that.
- Yeah, just Bates.
239
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:45,098
- Mm-hmm.
240
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,726
- Miss Tess?
- Uh!
241
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,354
[sniffing]
242
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,731
Oh, no. Not again.
243
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,108
Water. Water!
244
00:12:57,568 --> 00:13:00,697
Quick, quick, quick, quick...!
245
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:06,452
Oh, no.
246
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,922
Hmm. Mm...
247
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,762
Nice chair.
248
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,773
Bates. You awake?
249
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,358
When will Mom be back?
250
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:40,194
- I think Bob's a real find.
He's so stupid,
251
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,822
he didn't even tell me off for smoking.
252
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,408
Smoking kills. I read it.
253
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:46,743
Sisters kill too,
254
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:49,120
so keep your mouth shut.
255
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:52,373
He let me sleep in my fireman costume.
256
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,833
He's crazy.
257
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:55,626
I like him more than Mrs. Withington.
258
00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:59,005
Would you like to have him back?
259
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:00,506
Can we?
260
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,300
Leave it to me.
261
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:16,814
- Thanks for a lovely evening.
- Ah, the pleasure was all mine.
262
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:20,985
- I'd invite you up--
- I know, the children will up
263
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,653
as usual. [Anne laughing]
264
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,238
- Omigod!
- What? What's wrong?
265
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,783
The children's lights are all out!
266
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,251
- What's wrong?
- Nothin'.
267
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:40,296
- They've been good as gold.
- Oh, cut the BS.
268
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,924
What, are they bound and gagged somewhere?
269
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,718
- You really should be
congratulated, ma'am,
270
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:48,137
on raising such wondrous progeny.
271
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,306
Can I go now?
272
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,642
Uh, normally, they're, uh...
273
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:55,603
a pain in the derriere.
274
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,356
I think here you say "brats."
275
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:01,025
- Well, I never say "brats."
- Well, I don't know
276
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,986
what you did, but I'm impressed.
277
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:07,532
Jacques, will you pay Bob for me?
278
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:08,574
Of course!
279
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,451
[chortling]
280
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,036
I'm, uh...
281
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:16,124
tipping you very generously here.
282
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,960
I want you to know why.
283
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,629
Tonight, with the kids in bed,
284
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,297
all night,
285
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:27,135
I get to do what Frenchmen
love to do most...
286
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,679
- You gonna look in the mirror
for eight hours?
287
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:32,932
Thanks, Jack.
288
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:37,395
This morning, those of us that remain
289
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,648
will address the basic skills
required for a typical day,
290
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,775
starting with undressing the master.
291
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,862
Now, I shall need a volunteer.
Mr. Tree, if you please.
292
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,117
Jacket.
293
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,664
Tie.
294
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,377
Waistcoat. The vest, to you.
295
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,385
Shirt.
296
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,513
- Ah, come on, haven't you
got some kind of dummy?
297
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,016
- Dear boy, if you intend to be
a butler, you better get used
298
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,726
to naked old flesh.
299
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,811
You sure this isn't a British thing?
300
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:21,689
I mean, most Americans
know how to dress themselves.
301
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:22,940
On the contrary.
302
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:27,028
We are here to educate them
to do it better.
303
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:31,115
- And to dress for the right occasion.
- Whoa!
304
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,450
Yo, I'm outta here.
305
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,579
Well, Bob,
306
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,039
you seem to be
307
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,666
the last one left.
308
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,335
Mr. Butler,
309
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,003
I don't really know if this is necessary.
310
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:48,299
I mean... I'll give 100 bucks
if you leave the rest on.
311
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,551
One-hundred and fifty. A thousand!
312
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,261
Please stop there.
313
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:57,183
Right.
314
00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:58,643
Mr. Tree, let's get cracking, then.
315
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,854
Dress me.
316
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:03,105
[door chiming]
317
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,608
- Bob, no! Nuh-uh.
- It's okay.
318
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:08,319
It's okay, Nico. I don't wanna work here.
319
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,780
I can't stand the sight of blood.
320
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,240
All that screaming.
321
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,243
- You took the guy's earlobe off.
- Not on purpose.
322
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,620
- Ah!
- You used to work here?
323
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,580
Of course I used to work here.
324
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,832
"Barber" comes before "butler"
in the Yellow Pages.
325
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,626
So how do you like it?
326
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,419
Neat and tidy.
327
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:28,130
As the man says.
328
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,883
- No beard.
- No beard?
329
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,760
Butlers don't have beards.
330
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,637
Butlers wear beards.
331
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,347
- No beard.
- A bit of beard.
332
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,057
- No beard at all.
- Itty-bit of beard?
333
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,475
No beard whatever.
334
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,144
- Itsy-bit of beard?
- No.
335
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:45,064
Not even a little bitty-bitty-bitty-
weeny-bitty beard.
336
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,524
- Itty-bit of butler beard?
- Beardless.
337
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:47,984
- Itty-bit of butler beard?
- No beard!
338
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:50,528
- Itty-bit of butler beard,
itty-bit of butler beard,
339
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:51,988
itty-bit of butler bear.
340
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:55,157
- Settled.
- So?
341
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:57,910
Well, pretty much as it is.
342
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:04,250
- What do you expect to do, Bob,
if this doesn't work out?
343
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:07,420
- I'll probably move on
to the Cs. You know?
344
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:10,256
Camping guide, carpet cleaner,
345
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,716
car washer,
346
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,884
- computer hacker.
- Extraordinary.
347
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:19,640
You seem to have such faith in yourself...
348
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,727
where none is justified.
349
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:26,564
Thanks, Mr. Butler.
350
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,984
Well, well, well.
351
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,199
A gentleman's gentleman,
352
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:38,826
by George!
353
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,039
Loving breaths...
354
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:44,999
of deep...
355
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,709
[inhaling deeply]
356
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,628
... acceptance.
357
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,052
All right, can we speed it up, please?
358
00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:57,428
Look - ahem -
359
00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,889
here's my needs analysis.
I think it'll save time.
360
00:19:00,014 --> 00:19:01,557
What are you saving time for?
361
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,184
Your family?
362
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:06,979
But you don't even have time
to enjoy your kids. Or Jacques.
363
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,773
Jack's not family.
364
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,941
There's too much work.
365
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,152
I need more time.
366
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,196
Remember your mantra.
367
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,157
"I cannot organize the world...
368
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:20,159
blah-blah-blah."
369
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,996
- Maybe you could work just
as hard and find someone
370
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:26,707
who brings the best out of me and Bates.
371
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,126
- Tess, that is
a very sensible suggestion.
372
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,295
Do you have anyone in mind?
373
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,547
Not really.
374
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:34,882
Well...
375
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:38,969
I quite like the babysitter
we had last night.
376
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,722
But Tess said he was freaky.
377
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,474
He's too strict.
378
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,184
He's way too strict.
379
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,937
- Definitely not him.
- Uh-uh.
380
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:52,149
Well, it's not your call, children.
381
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,152
[wind blowing]
382
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,202
What are we doing?
383
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,121
Come on, come on, come on.
384
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:08,416
Up you get.
385
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,003
Standing still, Mr. Tree,
386
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:15,589
is highly prized in butler circles.
387
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,007
Freak.
388
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,634
Just get up.
389
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:23,723
Tiny people down below...
390
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,190
Good.
391
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,192
I want you to clear your mind
392
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,486
- and relax.
- Relax?
393
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,614
You kidding me? I'm standing inches
394
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,658
from certain death here.
395
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,870
I'll tell you what,
396
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:49,707
think of the most beautiful
thing you've seen in the last 48 hours.
397
00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:51,250
Other than your ass?
398
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:54,003
Now come on. You can do it.
399
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,672
I'm beginning to have faith in you, Bob.
400
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,507
Okay,
401
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:01,177
- I've got it.
- What is it?
402
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:04,597
- It's a woman.
- Can you picture her?
403
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,643
- Yes.
- Excellent.
404
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,438
Hold that thought.
405
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,835
Hey, kiddo, how was your day?
406
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,253
- Okay.
- Just okay?
407
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:40,132
Mine was pretty good.
Do you wanna hear about it?
408
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:42,927
- Does it have anything to do
with capital management?
409
00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:44,428
Yes.
410
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,138
No.
411
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,729
[slurping sound]
412
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,316
It's polite to knock.
413
00:21:57,441 --> 00:21:58,943
It's bedtime, sweetheart.
414
00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:00,528
I haven't finished.
415
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:02,071
Now. Please?
416
00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:04,406
No.
417
00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:12,873
Ah, that's just what I need.
418
00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:16,001
Thank you.
419
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:18,504
Do you wanna hear about my day?
420
00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:20,381
Now?
421
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:25,678
Your mind is full of work and
kids, work and kids, work and kids.
422
00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:28,138
That leaves little for me.
423
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:31,350
- I am trying to sell
my business, Jacques.
424
00:22:31,475 --> 00:22:32,977
For months, ma ch?rie.
425
00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:34,812
But when?
426
00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:36,689
I'm thinking of hiring Bob.
427
00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:38,732
- The babysitter?
- The butler.
428
00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:44,530
- The children will live
with him? I'm joking.
429
00:22:44,655 --> 00:22:47,116
No, he'll live in the attic.
430
00:22:47,241 --> 00:22:49,118
We'll have a babysitter whenever we want.
431
00:22:49,243 --> 00:22:52,121
Perfect.
432
00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:55,583
- [knocking]
- Can you hurry up in there?
433
00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:57,668
You've been in there for hours.
434
00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:59,920
Almost finished.
435
00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:08,721
- You'll tidy all this up?
- Yeah.
436
00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:11,056
- Bates, stop that!
- Ah!
437
00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:14,268
- It's a toilet bidet.
- What's a toilet bidet?
438
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:18,314
- It's like a fountain for your ass--
- Ask me later.
439
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:19,982
Jack says he's here.
440
00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:21,400
The butler!
441
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:23,360
Now then, Robert--
442
00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:24,778
Actually, my name's Bob.
443
00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:27,364
Oh, well, Bob is short for Robert.
444
00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:29,450
Isn't Rob short for Robert?
445
00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:31,285
- Yes.
- So then Bob
446
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:32,828
would be short for Bobert.
447
00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:34,788
- Your name is Bobert?
- No.
448
00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:36,040
- Just Bob.
- Okay, then.
449
00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:38,250
As long as we're satisfied
with first names,
450
00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:39,710
- can we continue?
- Of course.
451
00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:41,587
Though I don't know your name.
452
00:23:41,712 --> 00:23:44,214
Is it all right if I call you
Mistress Jamieson?
453
00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:46,842
No.
454
00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:48,719
That sounds rather sordid, doesn't it?
455
00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:52,014
Perhaps you could just call me Anne.
456
00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:53,724
Anne.
457
00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:55,601
Just Anne.
458
00:23:55,726 --> 00:23:56,936
Anne.
459
00:23:57,061 --> 00:23:58,437
Yes.
460
00:23:58,562 --> 00:23:59,980
Anne.
461
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:01,649
- Et bien?
- Anne.
462
00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:05,653
Mr. Tree, how many children do you have?
463
00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:09,031
Well, I don't have any children.
464
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:10,532
But you said in the flyer
465
00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:12,409
that you would take care
of the children like your own.
466
00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:14,578
Yeah, if I had some.
467
00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:15,704
Ahem.
468
00:24:15,829 --> 00:24:17,915
But you did just recently attend
469
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,959
the Cosmopolitan Butler School?
470
00:24:20,084 --> 00:24:21,627
Is all tidy.
471
00:24:34,264 --> 00:24:36,433
Uh, how much do I owe you?
472
00:24:47,945 --> 00:24:49,530
What did he say?
473
00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:51,991
- Uh, he said he'll drop
the bill off next week.
474
00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:57,287
- Um - ahem - Jacques
475
00:24:57,413 --> 00:24:58,831
got me a wonderful present:
476
00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,791
a state-of-the-art toilet.
477
00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:03,002
A toilet?
478
00:25:03,127 --> 00:25:05,254
What a nice gift.
479
00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:07,423
[speaking Japanese]
480
00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:12,302
My goodness, Bob,
481
00:25:12,428 --> 00:25:15,222
I had no idea that you
were fluent in Japanese.
482
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:16,890
I worked in the Asian market.
483
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:19,643
- Well, that's impressive.
- You sold stock?
484
00:25:19,768 --> 00:25:20,936
Stalks,
485
00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:22,062
vegetables,
486
00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:24,398
some strangely shaped fruits.
487
00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:28,152
Horseshoe-shaped...
488
00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:29,611
fruits.
489
00:25:29,737 --> 00:25:33,699
- Uh, Bob, I would like
to go over a few specifics.
490
00:25:33,824 --> 00:25:35,409
I colour-categorize my sponges.
491
00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:36,618
Hmm?
492
00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:38,245
Blue for bathroom, yellow for kitchen,
493
00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:40,914
purple for general, green for
the outdoors, car included.
494
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,042
- Please don't confuse them.
- Fine.
495
00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:45,210
- No strange women in the house.
- Fine.
496
00:25:45,335 --> 00:25:46,837
- No drugs. No pets.
- Fine.
497
00:25:46,962 --> 00:25:48,881
You allergic?
498
00:25:49,006 --> 00:25:50,299
They're unhygienic.
499
00:25:50,424 --> 00:25:51,800
Fine.
500
00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:01,769
- So what do you think?
- He is very strange.
501
00:26:01,894 --> 00:26:05,481
I don't understand
this Rob-Bob-Bobert business.
502
00:26:05,606 --> 00:26:06,982
Well, I suppose
503
00:26:07,107 --> 00:26:08,734
we could always interview
other candidates.
504
00:26:08,859 --> 00:26:12,029
- There are other candidates?
- No.
505
00:26:17,826 --> 00:26:19,787
I hired an assistant once.
She seemed perfect,
506
00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:22,372
she worked hard, she did
everything I told her to.
507
00:26:22,498 --> 00:26:25,459
One lunchtime, I saw her in the gym.
508
00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,044
She had a shower
509
00:26:27,169 --> 00:26:30,547
and then changed right back
into her workout bra.
510
00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:33,050
I'm lost.
511
00:26:33,175 --> 00:26:35,969
I fired her on the spot, of course.
512
00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:37,137
You fired her
513
00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:39,181
because of her sweaty bra?
514
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:42,184
Do you think Bobert wears a bra?
515
00:26:42,309 --> 00:26:44,353
Oh, who knows.
516
00:26:44,478 --> 00:26:46,230
But if it doesn't work out,
I'll change him.
517
00:26:46,355 --> 00:26:47,439
Okay.
518
00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:05,249
Ah... Bates!
519
00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:08,669
Sorry, Mom.
520
00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:13,048
I think you'll find everything you need.
521
00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:17,636
I'm sure it's not up
to your professional standards.
522
00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:26,478
It's...
523
00:27:26,603 --> 00:27:28,313
white.
524
00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:29,565
Yeah.
525
00:27:31,066 --> 00:27:32,943
Oh, I'm sorry it is such a mess.
526
00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:40,409
[singing]: I can indeed organize the world
527
00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:55,132
[squeaking]
528
00:27:55,257 --> 00:27:57,092
Hey, Rascal.
529
00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:02,598
Home.
530
00:28:06,435 --> 00:28:07,686
We are robots!
531
00:28:07,811 --> 00:28:09,479
We are monster robots!
532
00:28:09,605 --> 00:28:11,398
I am Robot Man!
533
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:14,526
Get out of my way. I am Computer Man--
534
00:28:14,651 --> 00:28:17,738
- Aren't you a little old
to play with toys?
535
00:28:17,863 --> 00:28:20,574
- Well, I don't usually
play with them, but...
536
00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:23,410
I got these when about your age and...
537
00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:27,414
I figured I'd give them
to my own son one day.
538
00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:30,042
Didn't he want them?
539
00:28:41,470 --> 00:28:42,638
Ahem.
540
00:28:43,472 --> 00:28:44,848
The children are in bed, ma'am.
541
00:28:44,973 --> 00:28:46,808
Oh, thank you, Bob. Music to my ears.
542
00:28:46,934 --> 00:28:49,102
Is there anything else I can do for you?
543
00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:51,730
- No. Thank you.
I'll see you in the morning.
544
00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:56,568
- I hope you don't mind, but,
um, I couldn't find any towels
545
00:28:56,693 --> 00:28:58,111
- for your bathroom.
- Mm, no.
546
00:28:58,236 --> 00:28:59,738
I don't use them.
547
00:28:59,863 --> 00:29:01,365
Okay, then.
548
00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:04,242
- They breed germs. I have a body-dryer.
549
00:29:04,368 --> 00:29:06,161
- A body-dryer?
- Yes.
550
00:29:06,286 --> 00:29:07,871
Like a hairdryer?
551
00:29:07,996 --> 00:29:09,331
Bigger.
552
00:29:09,456 --> 00:29:11,625
Much more hygienic.
553
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:14,002
Did I mention the sponge system?
554
00:29:14,127 --> 00:29:17,506
- Blue for the bathroom--
- Purple, yellow, green.
555
00:29:17,631 --> 00:29:19,841
Oh. Well, good night, then.
556
00:29:23,470 --> 00:29:24,805
Good night.
557
00:29:39,236 --> 00:29:40,529
[sniffing]
558
00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:43,156
[sniffing]
559
00:29:43,281 --> 00:29:44,658
[whistling]
560
00:29:47,369 --> 00:29:48,829
- What's that smell?
- Cooking.
561
00:29:48,954 --> 00:29:51,164
Real food?
562
00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:52,416
Well, I guess Bob made us breakfast.
563
00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:54,835
Where did you get that blouse?
564
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,754
- It's an old one.
- Yeah, like really old.
565
00:29:57,879 --> 00:30:02,175
Like five years tool old.
It's way too small for you.
566
00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:03,427
- Is not.
- Is.
567
00:30:03,552 --> 00:30:05,846
- Is not.
- Let's have Bob decide.
568
00:30:05,971 --> 00:30:07,097
Bob? [Bob singing]
569
00:30:07,222 --> 00:30:08,515
- Is not.
- Is.
570
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,058
- Yes, ma'am?
- Tess's blouse
571
00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:12,686
indecently small, or acceptable fashion?
572
00:30:13,437 --> 00:30:14,980
Sorry, Miss Tess.
573
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:24,740
That's a lot of pancakes.
574
00:30:24,865 --> 00:30:27,409
- It's more cost-effective
to prepare in bulk.
575
00:30:27,534 --> 00:30:28,452
They teach you
576
00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:30,370
that bulk stuff at butler school?
577
00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:32,122
Actually, at the finest...
578
00:30:34,791 --> 00:30:37,502
the finest cooking school in the world.
579
00:30:37,627 --> 00:30:38,795
The Cordon Bleu.
580
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:40,714
The U.S. Army.
581
00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:42,466
The army? Cool.
582
00:30:42,591 --> 00:30:45,010
Would you like some pancakes, Miss Tess?
583
00:30:45,135 --> 00:30:47,596
Sure, make me out on 50 pounds.
584
00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:49,222
- That'll make me popular.
- Getting grounded
585
00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:52,601
for being rude will
definitely make you popular.
586
00:30:57,022 --> 00:31:00,650
- Miss Tess, I wanna prepare
a special dinner tonight.
587
00:31:00,776 --> 00:31:02,402
Sort of an introduction.
588
00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:04,571
What does your mother like?
589
00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:08,992
- She likes anything she can eat
quickly so she can get back to work.
590
00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:11,661
You know what'd be good? A luau.
591
00:31:11,787 --> 00:31:13,997
She loves the whole Hawaiian thing.
592
00:31:14,122 --> 00:31:16,166
A luau, huh?
593
00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:19,294
- Pork?
- Okay, I'll look into that.
594
00:31:21,922 --> 00:31:23,799
I knew a guy once,
595
00:31:23,924 --> 00:31:27,010
he was kind of a nervous fellow.
596
00:31:27,135 --> 00:31:28,261
Used to bite his nails.
597
00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:30,430
One day,
598
00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:32,641
he was so upset, he ate his whole hand.
599
00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:34,309
- He did not.
- By the time
600
00:31:34,434 --> 00:31:37,354
we pulled him off, he'd chewed
all the way up to the elbows.
601
00:31:37,479 --> 00:31:38,772
That is stupid.
602
00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:40,982
That fellow has to wear a muzzle now.
603
00:31:41,108 --> 00:31:42,359
A muzzle.
604
00:31:42,484 --> 00:31:45,695
All because he couldn't talk
about his problems.
605
00:31:47,114 --> 00:31:49,366
I don't know about that outfit, Miss Tess.
606
00:31:57,165 --> 00:31:58,458
Are you getting out?
607
00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:01,545
I've got basketball today.
608
00:32:01,670 --> 00:32:04,548
That's great. I love basketball.
609
00:32:04,673 --> 00:32:07,092
You're not under four foot.
610
00:32:08,593 --> 00:32:09,678
Ah...
611
00:32:09,803 --> 00:32:11,763
- Hey.
- Hi.
612
00:32:14,891 --> 00:32:17,602
- Guess what.
- You joined the Britney Spears
613
00:32:17,727 --> 00:32:20,105
- fan club?
- My mom hired a butler.
614
00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:21,731
He looks
615
00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:23,233
like he's from Transylvania.
616
00:32:23,358 --> 00:32:24,818
He's not the only one.
617
00:32:24,943 --> 00:32:26,153
[laughing]
618
00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:28,655
They remind me of the Addams Family.
619
00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:30,157
[laughing]
620
00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:33,160
Sad, sad, sad.
621
00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:38,456
[baby crying]
622
00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:21,416
Helloooo.
623
00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:24,586
Hellooooo.
624
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:26,546
{\an8}Hellooooo.
625
00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:27,923
Ahem.
626
00:33:30,759 --> 00:33:32,177
Nice melons.
627
00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:34,471
Thank you.
628
00:33:34,596 --> 00:33:36,806
Nice cucumber.
629
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:38,099
Thanks.
630
00:33:40,185 --> 00:33:41,603
You.
631
00:33:42,437 --> 00:33:44,564
- [whispering]
- You.
632
00:33:44,689 --> 00:33:46,942
- You.
- You.
633
00:33:47,067 --> 00:33:48,109
You.
634
00:33:51,446 --> 00:33:52,781
You.
635
00:33:55,450 --> 00:33:56,785
You.
636
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,498
[blowing whistle]
637
00:34:12,926 --> 00:34:15,053
[beep] [music playing]
638
00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:18,974
[music playing louder]
639
00:34:22,644 --> 00:34:23,520
[beep]
640
00:34:23,645 --> 00:34:24,771
Ah!
641
00:34:26,064 --> 00:34:27,274
Ladies you're damn right
642
00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:29,150
Can't read a man's mind
643
00:34:29,276 --> 00:34:32,696
We're living in two tribesand heading for war
644
00:34:32,821 --> 00:34:36,199
Whoo! Nobody's perfect
645
00:34:36,324 --> 00:34:38,743
We all gotta work itbut fellas we're worth it
646
00:34:38,868 --> 00:34:41,871
So don't break the law ah ah ah ah
647
00:34:41,997 --> 00:34:46,459
I'm just a love machine feeding my fantasy
648
00:34:46,584 --> 00:34:47,877
Give me a kiss or three
649
00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:52,841
We just need a squeezeinstead of this negligee
650
00:34:52,966 --> 00:34:57,178
What will the neighbours think
651
00:34:57,304 --> 00:35:00,307
This time come take my hand
652
00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:02,434
Understand that you can
653
00:35:02,559 --> 00:35:06,938
You're my man and I need you tonight
654
00:35:07,063 --> 00:35:11,109
Come make my dreams honey hard as it seems
655
00:35:11,234 --> 00:35:14,946
Loving me is as easy as pie
656
00:35:15,071 --> 00:35:16,781
I'm just a love machine
657
00:35:16,906 --> 00:35:22,120
Feeding my fantasy give me a kiss or three
658
00:35:27,250 --> 00:35:28,668
Ooh, yeah.
659
00:35:31,087 --> 00:35:32,964
- Hi.
- How ya doin'?
660
00:35:33,089 --> 00:35:34,424
Good.
661
00:35:36,259 --> 00:35:38,595
- Where's your sister?
- I don't know.
662
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:41,014
Her cool friends are very sensitive.
663
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:43,516
She have a lot of friends?
664
00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:46,811
Compared to me, or to normal people?
665
00:35:49,689 --> 00:35:51,441
- Tess said she'd rather die
than be collected
666
00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:53,443
by a man who looks like a penguin.
667
00:35:54,778 --> 00:35:57,781
- I only take random insults
from immediate friends and family.
668
00:35:57,906 --> 00:35:59,282
I'm Tess's best friend.
669
00:35:59,407 --> 00:36:00,325
Good enough.
670
00:36:00,450 --> 00:36:02,077
Where is she?
671
00:36:02,202 --> 00:36:04,954
- Waiting for you to leave
over cover of nightfall.
672
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:06,122
Thank you.
673
00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:09,959
Miss Tess!
674
00:36:10,085 --> 00:36:11,086
Tess Jamieson!
675
00:36:11,211 --> 00:36:14,756
Your butler is here and waiting!
676
00:36:15,924 --> 00:36:17,217
Hurry up,
677
00:36:17,342 --> 00:36:19,844
or I'll throw out
your favourite Barney video!
678
00:36:19,969 --> 00:36:21,429
And your stash of letters
679
00:36:21,554 --> 00:36:23,932
to one J. Timberlake!
680
00:36:29,521 --> 00:36:32,816
- So how'd basketball go?
- I stunk.
681
00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:34,609
What's you expect?
682
00:36:34,734 --> 00:36:36,861
I dunno. What did you expect?
683
00:36:36,986 --> 00:36:38,905
Well, I thought I'd be lousy.
684
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:41,825
- Well, then it all worked out
the way you thought.
685
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:43,702
Miss Tess, how was your day?
686
00:36:43,827 --> 00:36:46,496
- Do you gamble?
- What do you got in mind?
687
00:36:46,621 --> 00:36:48,915
I bet you'll be fired within a week.
688
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,667
What odds are you offering?
689
00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:56,131
Doesn't anyone want to sit up
front with the luau dinner?
690
00:36:59,884 --> 00:37:02,220
[Hawaiian music playing] [Bob humming]
691
00:37:11,396 --> 00:37:14,482
Dinner is served!
692
00:37:19,404 --> 00:37:22,323
- This is so perfect.
- You think she'll like it?
693
00:37:22,449 --> 00:37:24,325
She'll be breathless.
694
00:37:24,451 --> 00:37:26,411
It's a napkin, moron.
695
00:37:27,871 --> 00:37:30,165
- Why the hurry?
- He made us all dinner.
696
00:37:30,290 --> 00:37:33,585
The least we can do
is show him a little gratitude.
697
00:37:33,710 --> 00:37:34,836
[gasping]
698
00:37:36,755 --> 00:37:39,007
Oh, my good God.
699
00:37:39,132 --> 00:37:41,384
A luau.
700
00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:50,393
Who's idea was this?
701
00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:52,187
The butler.
702
00:38:07,786 --> 00:38:10,497
- One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three
Mississippi, five Mississippi,
703
00:38:10,622 --> 00:38:13,458
six Mississippi, seven Mississippi, nine
Mississippi, 10 Mississippi!
704
00:38:21,758 --> 00:38:23,635
- Mm, rich, full-bodied...
705
00:38:25,470 --> 00:38:27,806
Hmm, I smell a hint of mushroom.
706
00:38:27,931 --> 00:38:29,599
Shitake?
707
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:31,226
Portobello. Burgundy region.
708
00:38:31,351 --> 00:38:35,063
I will take you there one day.
709
00:38:35,188 --> 00:38:37,190
Can I come to Verdungy?
710
00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:40,026
- Oh, Bates, sweet,
but it's not for les enfants.
711
00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:41,486
[Bob whimpering]
712
00:38:41,611 --> 00:38:44,572
I think it will be a trip
just for your mother and me.
713
00:38:44,697 --> 00:38:47,075
- Jacques is joking. Heh-heh.
714
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,953
Of course we can all go
together. The children would love it.
715
00:38:50,078 --> 00:38:52,789
Ah, the children. Of course.
716
00:38:52,914 --> 00:38:54,624
Can we go, Mom?
717
00:38:54,749 --> 00:38:56,960
Just the three of us?
718
00:38:57,085 --> 00:38:58,878
Jackass doesn't have to come.
719
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:00,213
Jackass?
720
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:03,132
Who is Jackass. [Anne "laughing"]
721
00:39:03,258 --> 00:39:06,094
- I think that Bates
has an imaginary friend.
722
00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:09,097
Madam...
723
00:39:11,099 --> 00:39:12,767
kalua pu'a.
724
00:39:13,977 --> 00:39:16,855
The custom is to prepare the food
725
00:39:16,980 --> 00:39:18,731
in a an imu,
726
00:39:18,857 --> 00:39:21,484
or underground oven.
727
00:39:22,944 --> 00:39:24,153
Sounds... wonderful.
728
00:39:24,279 --> 00:39:26,489
Doesn't it, children?
729
00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:30,577
[gasping] [Tess]: Gross.
730
00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:32,161
[Anne whimpering]
731
00:39:34,372 --> 00:39:35,540
It is normally served
732
00:39:35,665 --> 00:39:37,292
with a mashed taro root,
733
00:39:37,417 --> 00:39:39,544
or poi.
734
00:39:40,295 --> 00:39:42,380
God!
735
00:39:45,425 --> 00:39:48,219
Plug it! Plug it up!
736
00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:52,515
Ah! Ahh!
737
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,100
Hot piggy! Hot piggy!
738
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:55,518
Oh, Lord.
739
00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:57,312
Stay with me! Stay with me!
740
00:39:57,437 --> 00:39:59,022
[Bates and Anne screaming]
741
00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:01,274
[screaming]
742
00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:03,109
[all screaming]
743
00:40:06,446 --> 00:40:09,282
- I cannot organize the world,
I cannot organize the world...
744
00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:10,617
[boom!]
745
00:40:12,076 --> 00:40:13,745
Oh...
746
00:40:13,870 --> 00:40:17,123
- I think you'll find
that I just won the bet.
747
00:40:26,382 --> 00:40:29,052
- Moi. I'm the Jackass. Jacques-ass.
748
00:40:29,177 --> 00:40:30,887
I'm not stupid, Anne.
749
00:40:31,012 --> 00:40:34,182
Is he not Bob-ass, this butler?
750
00:40:34,307 --> 00:40:36,809
Oh, I'm so sorry. Here, let me help you.
751
00:40:39,145 --> 00:40:40,355
Imbecile!
752
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,441
But no, you do not want
to check his references!
753
00:40:46,486 --> 00:40:48,988
I just wanted to make a nice dinner.
754
00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:50,740
Sort of a thank-you?
755
00:40:50,865 --> 00:40:53,660
- Well, maybe if I talk to Mom.
Would that help?
756
00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:55,161
- Nah. I'm the screw-up.
757
00:40:55,286 --> 00:40:57,163
I've done this before.
758
00:40:57,288 --> 00:40:59,749
You blew up another pig?
759
00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:01,292
Bedtime, Bates.
760
00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:05,380
- Good luck.
- Can you give me one good reason
761
00:41:05,505 --> 00:41:07,298
why I shouldn't fire you right now?
762
00:41:07,423 --> 00:41:09,300
- Yes.
- Okay.
763
00:41:09,425 --> 00:41:10,885
I'm listening.
764
00:41:12,762 --> 00:41:14,180
Can I have till tomorrow morning?
765
00:41:14,305 --> 00:41:17,392
This is a complete disaster area!
766
00:41:17,517 --> 00:41:19,560
My pristine dining room
767
00:41:19,686 --> 00:41:22,355
is covered in pig shrapnel!
768
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,649
- I'll clean it up.
- You better.
769
00:41:24,774 --> 00:41:26,442
Every...
770
00:41:26,567 --> 00:41:28,403
shred.
771
00:41:29,612 --> 00:41:30,905
Oh, and, Bob,
772
00:41:31,030 --> 00:41:34,659
I think it's best if you never, ever...
773
00:41:34,784 --> 00:41:37,078
ever cook anything again.
774
00:41:37,203 --> 00:41:39,664
Yes, ma'am.
775
00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,502
[knocking]
776
00:41:47,964 --> 00:41:49,424
Thought you should know--
777
00:41:49,549 --> 00:41:51,300
Closed door, big hint.
778
00:41:51,426 --> 00:41:52,844
I'm staying.
779
00:41:52,969 --> 00:41:55,513
- I thought servants were meant
to be seen and not heard.
780
00:42:01,227 --> 00:42:03,229
- Hey, these are great.
- Hey! Gimme that!
781
00:42:03,354 --> 00:42:04,647
It's private!
782
00:42:04,772 --> 00:42:06,482
Don't get your knickers in a knot.
783
00:42:14,949 --> 00:42:18,327
- Look, look, look, look, look,
look, look. Look.
784
00:42:21,414 --> 00:42:22,540
Okay.
785
00:42:22,665 --> 00:42:24,042
[laughing]
786
00:42:26,711 --> 00:42:28,880
Take your time today
787
00:42:29,005 --> 00:42:31,716
There's no hurry you can wait a while
788
00:42:33,801 --> 00:42:35,636
If only for a smile
789
00:42:37,138 --> 00:42:39,307
Take your time today
790
00:42:39,432 --> 00:42:40,349
There's no hurry
791
00:42:40,475 --> 00:42:42,185
- All right!
- There you go!
792
00:42:42,310 --> 00:42:44,937
You can wait a while Oh!
793
00:42:45,063 --> 00:42:47,106
If only for a smile Oh! Jeez! Ahhh!
794
00:42:47,231 --> 00:42:48,524
Sorry!
795
00:42:58,659 --> 00:43:01,621
So have you decided Hmm? Uh-huh.
796
00:43:01,746 --> 00:43:03,956
To change your worn-out mind
797
00:43:04,082 --> 00:43:06,626
Then take your time today
798
00:43:06,751 --> 00:43:08,294
There's no hurry
799
00:43:08,419 --> 00:43:10,588
You can wait a while
800
00:43:12,173 --> 00:43:14,050
- [cellphone ringing]
- Hello?
801
00:43:14,175 --> 00:43:15,426
Hi, Mom.
802
00:43:15,551 --> 00:43:16,886
I'm in a tree.
803
00:43:17,011 --> 00:43:18,763
[laughing]
804
00:43:18,888 --> 00:43:21,599
- Miss Tess.
- There you go.
805
00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:26,020
- Bates, there you are.
- Thanks!
806
00:43:26,145 --> 00:43:27,605
Nice hat.
807
00:43:30,775 --> 00:43:32,735
Take your time today
808
00:43:35,029 --> 00:43:37,240
Five in a row. Right back.
809
00:43:46,374 --> 00:43:47,792
[humming]
810
00:43:50,128 --> 00:43:52,588
- Shoot some balls with me?
- Sure.
811
00:43:57,051 --> 00:43:58,719
- What's that?
- What?
812
00:43:59,971 --> 00:44:02,014
- Have you got a remote-control ball?
813
00:44:03,182 --> 00:44:04,392
Rascal?
814
00:44:04,517 --> 00:44:06,727
- Who's Rascal?
- Rascal!
815
00:44:08,229 --> 00:44:09,438
Rascal!
816
00:44:14,277 --> 00:44:15,611
Rascal!
817
00:44:16,445 --> 00:44:18,239
Rascal!
818
00:44:21,242 --> 00:44:22,827
Rascal!
819
00:44:24,996 --> 00:44:26,622
[screaming]
820
00:44:27,915 --> 00:44:30,251
- Rascal!!!
- Bob!!!!
821
00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:32,795
Bob!
822
00:44:33,754 --> 00:44:34,755
Bob!
823
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,842
Bob, stop!
824
00:44:37,967 --> 00:44:39,760
Rascal!!!
825
00:44:48,477 --> 00:44:51,022
Poor thing.
826
00:44:51,147 --> 00:44:52,690
Someone's been a very naughty butler.
827
00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:54,066
[Rascal squeaking]
828
00:45:00,781 --> 00:45:02,116
Oh...
829
00:45:02,241 --> 00:45:04,619
[squeaking] Oh... Oh, Rascal.
830
00:45:04,744 --> 00:45:06,370
Rascal.
831
00:45:06,495 --> 00:45:09,540
"He licked the jar right out of
Newton's hand, sliming his palm
832
00:45:09,665 --> 00:45:12,126
"with a streak of black gob,
833
00:45:12,251 --> 00:45:15,630
"perhaps the most disgusting
thing Newton had experienced
834
00:45:15,755 --> 00:45:17,298
"since the time
he mistakenly ate a maggot.
835
00:45:17,423 --> 00:45:18,549
Hi, guys.
836
00:45:18,674 --> 00:45:20,509
How was your day?
837
00:45:20,635 --> 00:45:22,136
Anything interesting happen?
838
00:45:23,137 --> 00:45:25,306
The usual.
839
00:45:25,431 --> 00:45:27,892
Oh.
840
00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:33,814
Why aren't you a dad?
841
00:45:33,940 --> 00:45:35,691
Just didn't happen yet.
842
00:45:35,816 --> 00:45:38,027
I don't have a dad.
843
00:45:38,152 --> 00:45:39,904
Everybody has a dad.
844
00:45:40,029 --> 00:45:42,323
Mom got me and Bates from a bank.
845
00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:44,158
Tess.
846
00:45:44,283 --> 00:45:46,452
Special bank where men make deposits.
847
00:45:46,577 --> 00:45:49,372
- Tess...
- And women make withdrawals.
848
00:45:49,497 --> 00:45:52,375
If they can't find Mr. Right.
849
00:45:56,087 --> 00:45:58,464
[trumpet being played off-key to music]
850
00:46:09,725 --> 00:46:11,102
Bob.
851
00:46:11,227 --> 00:46:12,478
Bob!
852
00:46:16,148 --> 00:46:18,484
- Too loud?
- Uh, no.
853
00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:21,612
No. Just, uh... just really...
854
00:46:21,737 --> 00:46:22,989
really horrible.
855
00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:24,115
Heh-heh.
856
00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:25,574
I love the trumpet.
857
00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:27,410
Then you should practice.
858
00:46:27,535 --> 00:46:29,120
Yeah.
859
00:46:29,245 --> 00:46:30,997
Um...
860
00:46:32,415 --> 00:46:36,085
Bob, you must... think
I'm a really horrible mother.
861
00:46:36,210 --> 00:46:37,420
No.
862
00:46:37,545 --> 00:46:39,130
Well, it wasn't an easy decision.
863
00:46:39,255 --> 00:46:41,132
Sure.
864
00:46:41,257 --> 00:46:44,510
- I just... I didn't
wanna miss out, you know?
865
00:46:44,635 --> 00:46:47,596
It's not like time was exactly on my side,
866
00:46:47,722 --> 00:46:49,432
- so I thought I'd--
- Anne...
867
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:54,186
You're... you're blessed.
868
00:46:55,771 --> 00:46:57,440
Sorry. I, uh...
869
00:46:57,565 --> 00:46:59,817
spoke out of turn.
870
00:46:59,942 --> 00:47:02,695
- Zip!
- That's all right.
871
00:47:02,820 --> 00:47:04,447
Thank you.
872
00:47:04,572 --> 00:47:06,615
Can I ask you a question?
873
00:47:06,741 --> 00:47:08,284
Yeah...
874
00:47:08,409 --> 00:47:10,703
What's capital management?
875
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:14,874
[laughing]
876
00:47:14,999 --> 00:47:17,293
Bye! Thanks for the lift!
877
00:47:17,418 --> 00:47:18,794
See you later!
878
00:47:18,919 --> 00:47:20,421
- Bye-bye! [cellphone ringing]
879
00:47:26,927 --> 00:47:28,304
Hello, Judith.
880
00:47:28,429 --> 00:47:30,639
I'll be about an hour or so.
881
00:47:30,765 --> 00:47:32,475
It can wait.
882
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:35,478
Yeah. I'll be on my cellphone
if you need me.
883
00:47:35,603 --> 00:47:36,937
Okay. Bye.
884
00:47:38,272 --> 00:47:40,441
Oh! [car alarm ringing]
885
00:47:42,777 --> 00:47:44,779
Ah! Oh...
886
00:47:44,904 --> 00:47:48,657
Well, I can't come to a meeting
with stains on my blouse,
887
00:47:48,783 --> 00:47:50,159
now can I?
888
00:47:50,284 --> 00:47:52,328
I'm back, Bob! I'm just
gonna take a quick bath!
889
00:47:52,453 --> 00:47:54,121
I'll be there as soon as I can.
890
00:47:54,246 --> 00:47:55,790
[music playing]
891
00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:07,510
I'll be over at 10They tell me time and again
892
00:48:07,635 --> 00:48:09,136
I can't wait...
893
00:48:22,817 --> 00:48:26,529
Why do you build me up Build me up
894
00:48:26,654 --> 00:48:28,072
- Buttercup baby
- Ahhhhhh!
895
00:48:29,281 --> 00:48:30,574
... let me down...
896
00:48:34,036 --> 00:48:35,788
Can I get you some towels, ma'am?
897
00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:37,331
- Mm-hmm!!!
898
00:48:37,456 --> 00:48:39,375
But I love you still I need you
899
00:48:39,500 --> 00:48:41,335
I need you more than anyone darling
900
00:48:41,460 --> 00:48:43,170
You know that I have
901
00:48:43,295 --> 00:48:44,630
From the start
902
00:48:44,755 --> 00:48:46,757
So build me up
903
00:48:48,217 --> 00:48:49,593
Buttercup
904
00:48:50,678 --> 00:48:52,555
Don't break my heart
905
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:54,849
You don't get that flipping burgers.
906
00:48:58,853 --> 00:49:02,982
- Then I dribbled right, cut
left and slam-dunked it.
907
00:49:03,107 --> 00:49:06,986
- Who traded in my geek brother
for a jock geek brother?
908
00:49:07,111 --> 00:49:08,612
Hey, where are you all going
909
00:49:08,737 --> 00:49:11,282
- on a Sunday?
- Basketball tryouts.
910
00:49:11,407 --> 00:49:13,200
- Well, I'll drive you.
Let me get my purse.
911
00:49:13,325 --> 00:49:15,661
I wanna go with Bob.
912
00:49:16,871 --> 00:49:18,789
Okay. Uh...
913
00:49:18,914 --> 00:49:22,001
- what about you, Tess?
- I arranged to meet Sophie.
914
00:49:22,126 --> 00:49:23,419
Don't you have work to do?
915
00:49:23,544 --> 00:49:25,629
Nope. Amazingly.
916
00:49:27,465 --> 00:49:29,633
All right, well... see you later.
917
00:49:31,552 --> 00:49:32,803
[cellphone ringing]
918
00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:37,183
Ah, oui, allô?
919
00:49:37,308 --> 00:49:39,477
Anne! What's wrong?
920
00:49:39,602 --> 00:49:43,314
I got the whole day free and I'm lonely!
921
00:49:47,485 --> 00:49:49,278
[sighing in contentment]
922
00:49:49,403 --> 00:49:52,490
It's so nice to do something
for myself for a change.
923
00:49:52,615 --> 00:49:55,201
We go out and find a nice, quiet place.
924
00:49:55,326 --> 00:49:56,827
Oh, this is lovely!
925
00:49:58,329 --> 00:50:00,289
This is nice!
926
00:50:00,414 --> 00:50:02,249
Now this is relaxing.
927
00:50:03,417 --> 00:50:04,752
This...
928
00:50:06,754 --> 00:50:08,797
- Take me home.
- What?!
929
00:50:08,923 --> 00:50:11,217
I... I... I can't be here without them.
930
00:50:11,342 --> 00:50:13,636
I just can't enjoy... myself
without the kids.
931
00:50:13,761 --> 00:50:15,888
I mean, you know, I just can't!
932
00:50:16,013 --> 00:50:16,931
Let's go!
933
00:50:17,056 --> 00:50:18,349
Look, Jacques, I have children.
934
00:50:18,474 --> 00:50:20,643
I love them. They're not
just going to disappear.
935
00:50:20,768 --> 00:50:22,269
You would prefer that I disappear?
936
00:50:22,394 --> 00:50:27,107
Examine the situation.
One: you are a single woman.
937
00:50:27,233 --> 00:50:28,275
Very beautiful,
938
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:30,778
true, but, uh, very, very...
939
00:50:30,903 --> 00:50:32,446
anal.
940
00:50:33,614 --> 00:50:35,783
Anal. I'm anal.
941
00:50:35,908 --> 00:50:38,077
Two: your children.
942
00:50:39,328 --> 00:50:42,915
They are not beautiful. Just annoying.
943
00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:45,793
Three: if I go--
944
00:50:45,918 --> 00:50:48,254
I'll take three. You go. Now.
945
00:50:48,379 --> 00:50:50,172
- Take a cab.
- Anne!
946
00:50:50,297 --> 00:50:54,677
You are a single woman of a certain age.
947
00:50:54,802 --> 00:50:56,637
You will not find another man.
948
00:50:56,762 --> 00:50:58,472
Statistically,
949
00:50:58,597 --> 00:51:01,725
you have a better chance
of being hit by a truck.
950
00:51:01,850 --> 00:51:04,728
One driven by Bob.
951
00:51:12,486 --> 00:51:13,988
So?
952
00:51:14,113 --> 00:51:15,197
So what?
953
00:51:15,322 --> 00:51:17,700
How'd it go? The tryouts.
954
00:51:17,825 --> 00:51:19,493
There was no tryouts.
955
00:51:19,618 --> 00:51:23,998
The coach had already decided
who was on the team.
956
00:51:24,123 --> 00:51:25,165
What?
957
00:51:25,291 --> 00:51:26,792
That's not fair.
958
00:51:28,294 --> 00:51:29,670
Wait here.
959
00:51:29,795 --> 00:51:32,214
You're not going to embarrass me?
960
00:51:32,339 --> 00:51:34,842
You bet I am.
961
00:51:36,302 --> 00:51:38,429
[military-style music] Hey! You the coach?
962
00:51:38,554 --> 00:51:40,180
Who's asking?
963
00:51:40,306 --> 00:51:42,349
My name's Tree.
964
00:51:45,144 --> 00:51:46,520
Bob?
965
00:51:46,645 --> 00:51:48,897
Bob the mascot?
966
00:51:49,023 --> 00:51:50,774
Jerry?
967
00:51:50,899 --> 00:51:52,276
Yeah!!!
968
00:51:52,401 --> 00:51:53,819
Rrrrrrr!
969
00:51:55,946 --> 00:51:57,031
Yeah.
970
00:51:57,156 --> 00:51:59,158
What happened to the Bismark Barbarians?
971
00:51:59,283 --> 00:52:02,745
- Ah, I left not long
after the owner fired you.
972
00:52:02,870 --> 00:52:04,788
He was a real a-hole.
973
00:52:04,913 --> 00:52:06,832
I know. I know. I know.
974
00:52:06,957 --> 00:52:08,584
Still got your helmet, though.
975
00:52:08,709 --> 00:52:10,628
You wanna see it?
976
00:52:10,753 --> 00:52:12,171
You bet.
977
00:52:12,296 --> 00:52:14,048
It's about Bates.
978
00:52:14,173 --> 00:52:15,382
Bates Jamieson?
979
00:52:15,507 --> 00:52:16,717
Pull up a chair.
980
00:52:21,930 --> 00:52:23,599
- Uh-ooh.
- Put it on.
981
00:52:28,270 --> 00:52:30,356
Yeah. Still fits like a glove.
982
00:52:30,481 --> 00:52:32,399
A really...
983
00:52:32,524 --> 00:52:34,109
weird glove.
984
00:52:34,234 --> 00:52:36,820
- It took them two hours to
remove that from his buttocks.
985
00:52:36,945 --> 00:52:38,739
- I probably shouldn't have
left it on his chair.
986
00:52:38,864 --> 00:52:39,782
Ahem.
987
00:52:39,907 --> 00:52:41,408
So what about the Jamieson kid?
988
00:52:41,533 --> 00:52:44,787
He wants to try out for the team.
989
00:52:44,912 --> 00:52:47,956
He's kind of small.
990
00:52:50,125 --> 00:52:52,920
Why is it impossible to say no to you?
991
00:52:53,045 --> 00:52:54,672
[both]: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
992
00:52:54,797 --> 00:52:56,632
- Yeah! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
993
00:52:59,301 --> 00:53:00,761
All right.
994
00:53:00,886 --> 00:53:02,596
- [blowing whistle]
- Go ahead.
995
00:53:08,769 --> 00:53:10,229
Come on, Bates!
996
00:53:10,354 --> 00:53:13,232
He's a little nervous.
997
00:53:13,357 --> 00:53:16,610
Put one in the net there, Bates!
Put one in the net there!
998
00:53:28,789 --> 00:53:29,998
How ya doin'?
999
00:53:30,124 --> 00:53:31,417
Coach hates me.
1000
00:53:31,542 --> 00:53:33,460
Forget about him, okay?
1001
00:53:33,585 --> 00:53:35,295
It's just you and me.
1002
00:53:35,421 --> 00:53:36,880
Just like at home.
1003
00:53:37,005 --> 00:53:38,340
Come on.
1004
00:53:38,465 --> 00:53:40,509
- Come on, let's go!
- Ah...
1005
00:53:40,634 --> 00:53:41,885
Come on!
1006
00:53:42,010 --> 00:53:43,178
Like we practiced!
1007
00:53:43,303 --> 00:53:44,555
Come on!
1008
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:47,391
- Hey.
- Oh, you got it, you got it.
1009
00:53:47,516 --> 00:53:50,185
Take it around me, take it around me,
1010
00:53:50,310 --> 00:53:51,687
take it around me, put it in,
1011
00:53:51,812 --> 00:53:53,188
put it in the net. Come on.
1012
00:53:53,313 --> 00:53:56,275
No fancy stuff. Just put it in the net.
1013
00:53:57,651 --> 00:54:00,487
- All right! Huh?! Huh?!
- Yeah!!! I got one!!!
1014
00:54:00,612 --> 00:54:01,905
Two points!
1015
00:54:02,573 --> 00:54:04,158
Two points!
1016
00:54:06,744 --> 00:54:08,078
Hey, Tess.
1017
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:11,623
Been shopping?
1018
00:54:11,749 --> 00:54:14,084
Oh, what is that, a wristband?
1019
00:54:15,085 --> 00:54:16,378
Pair of socks?
1020
00:54:16,503 --> 00:54:18,464
- [Bates]: Mom!!!!!!
- Is it a bib?
1021
00:54:18,589 --> 00:54:21,008
- Hey, how were the tryouts?
- Great!
1022
00:54:21,133 --> 00:54:23,635
- Good. I made salmon skewers.
- Salmon?
1023
00:54:23,761 --> 00:54:25,304
I'll tell Tess.
1024
00:54:25,429 --> 00:54:27,055
What?
1025
00:54:29,099 --> 00:54:31,018
- Hey, Tess.
- Don't come in.
1026
00:54:31,143 --> 00:54:33,562
Your mother made a barbecue.
1027
00:54:33,687 --> 00:54:35,272
I'll be down in five.
1028
00:54:41,111 --> 00:54:42,446
[Bob humming]
1029
00:54:45,949 --> 00:54:48,118
Would you like to join us, Bob?
1030
00:54:49,620 --> 00:54:51,413
Please.
1031
00:54:51,538 --> 00:54:53,707
We'd like you to.
1032
00:54:53,832 --> 00:54:56,460
Thank you.
1033
00:54:56,585 --> 00:54:58,587
It's real nice of you to have made
1034
00:54:58,712 --> 00:55:00,631
these salmon skewers. Isn't it, kids?
1035
00:55:02,049 --> 00:55:04,635
And a green salad. [Bates]: Eh...
1036
00:55:06,553 --> 00:55:09,431
- That was delicious.
- I should've made hot dogs.
1037
00:55:09,556 --> 00:55:11,725
No, no. It was really good.
1038
00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:13,602
Oh, you missed a spot.
1039
00:55:13,727 --> 00:55:15,437
- Where?
- Right there.
1040
00:55:15,562 --> 00:55:17,189
Hmm.
1041
00:55:17,314 --> 00:55:21,193
You know, Tess has drawn
some amazing dress designs.
1042
00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:24,071
- You should see her schoolbooks.
- Schoolbooks?
1043
00:55:24,196 --> 00:55:26,949
Yeah, she draws in her schoolbooks.
1044
00:55:27,074 --> 00:55:29,451
You're such a liar!
1045
00:55:29,576 --> 00:55:31,119
You're such a stupid liar!
1046
00:55:31,245 --> 00:55:33,872
- Tess!
- It's not true!
1047
00:55:33,997 --> 00:55:35,999
- I hate you, Bob!
- Tess!
1048
00:55:36,124 --> 00:55:38,335
Tess!
1049
00:55:38,460 --> 00:55:41,630
- I guess that's what it's like
having family, Rascal.
1050
00:55:41,755 --> 00:55:44,466
- [squeaking]
- Ups and downs.
1051
00:55:44,591 --> 00:55:46,009
[knocking]
1052
00:55:46,134 --> 00:55:47,594
Just a second.
1053
00:55:53,267 --> 00:55:54,560
Come in.
1054
00:55:55,936 --> 00:55:57,229
Hi.
1055
00:55:57,354 --> 00:56:00,023
I've spoken to Tess
and she's shown me her drawings.
1056
00:56:00,148 --> 00:56:02,776
You're right. They're amazing.
1057
00:56:02,901 --> 00:56:05,362
So thank you for that.
1058
00:56:08,740 --> 00:56:10,867
Something wrong?
1059
00:56:12,244 --> 00:56:14,746
Don't take this the wrong way, Bob.
1060
00:56:15,747 --> 00:56:17,958
You're the butler.
1061
00:56:18,083 --> 00:56:20,335
You're not her father.
1062
00:56:23,255 --> 00:56:26,049
I understand completely.
1063
00:56:28,260 --> 00:56:30,178
Thanks.
1064
00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:33,307
Good night, then.
1065
00:56:33,432 --> 00:56:34,766
Good night.
1066
00:56:43,442 --> 00:56:45,027
Why are we eating in here?
1067
00:56:45,152 --> 00:56:47,404
- More coffee, ma'am?
- Oh, I'll get it.
1068
00:56:47,529 --> 00:56:49,615
Please, ma'am. Leave it to me.
1069
00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:57,706
It's cool.
1070
00:57:00,834 --> 00:57:02,586
- New skirt?
- Yeah. Like it?
1071
00:57:02,711 --> 00:57:04,838
No. It's like theirs.
1072
00:57:04,963 --> 00:57:06,965
That's the point, stupid.
1073
00:57:07,883 --> 00:57:10,302
- So you coming to watch me
get my nose pierced?
1074
00:57:10,427 --> 00:57:12,346
Not on this planet.
1075
00:57:12,471 --> 00:57:14,598
Tomorrow after school, okay?
1076
00:57:15,724 --> 00:57:17,100
[school bell ringing]
1077
00:57:17,225 --> 00:57:18,393
Bye.
1078
00:57:20,687 --> 00:57:23,565
- You're hanging
with the Clone Barbies now?
1079
00:57:23,690 --> 00:57:25,067
Maybe when I'm in tighter,
1080
00:57:25,192 --> 00:57:27,402
I'll put in a good word for you
and you can hang with.
1081
00:57:27,527 --> 00:57:30,322
- I liked you because I thought
you were an individual.
1082
00:57:30,447 --> 00:57:31,948
Like me.
1083
00:57:33,742 --> 00:57:36,787
Now you're just more like pathetic.
1084
00:57:48,423 --> 00:57:49,591
Stop!
1085
00:57:50,425 --> 00:57:51,927
Excuse me.
1086
00:57:53,595 --> 00:57:54,846
Kate, is the fruit washed?
1087
00:57:54,971 --> 00:57:56,556
Judith, did you wash the fruit?
1088
00:57:56,682 --> 00:57:58,225
- It's pre-washed.
1089
00:57:58,350 --> 00:58:00,519
- Pre-washed? Pre-washed?!
1090
00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:02,437
- Pre-washed.
- Ah!
1091
00:58:06,066 --> 00:58:07,984
I do not wanna to lose this deal
1092
00:58:08,110 --> 00:58:10,112
because one of my investors has the runs!
1093
00:58:10,237 --> 00:58:11,780
The runs?
1094
00:58:15,617 --> 00:58:16,993
Done.
1095
00:58:17,119 --> 00:58:18,286
Done.
1096
00:58:19,454 --> 00:58:20,622
Done!
1097
00:58:25,460 --> 00:58:27,713
[squeaking] Ah! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
1098
00:58:27,838 --> 00:58:30,090
[screaming]
1099
00:58:34,970 --> 00:58:37,055
A rodent!
1100
00:58:37,180 --> 00:58:38,807
Oh! Rodent!
1101
00:58:38,932 --> 00:58:40,517
Huge rodent!
1102
00:58:40,642 --> 00:58:42,185
- Where is he?
- Oh! Oh!
1103
00:58:42,310 --> 00:58:44,187
Huge!
1104
00:58:44,312 --> 00:58:45,188
- Rascal?
- Rat! Ratty!
1105
00:58:45,313 --> 00:58:47,149
Rascal, don't do this to me.
1106
00:58:47,274 --> 00:58:48,900
Furry thing on the table!
1107
00:58:49,025 --> 00:58:50,110
He was there on the table!
1108
00:58:50,235 --> 00:58:52,362
- Hold it!
- Ah! What are you doing, Bob?
1109
00:58:52,487 --> 00:58:53,822
Don't move.
1110
00:58:53,947 --> 00:58:55,407
Ah... What are you doing, Bob?
1111
00:58:55,532 --> 00:58:57,284
[squeaking]
1112
00:58:58,493 --> 00:58:59,995
Ah... ah... ah...
1113
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:01,121
Ahhhh!
1114
00:59:01,246 --> 00:59:02,789
[screaming]
1115
00:59:04,458 --> 00:59:05,876
Rascal...
1116
00:59:07,919 --> 00:59:09,504
[cellphone ringing]
1117
00:59:09,629 --> 00:59:11,131
Oh, Jesus.
1118
00:59:12,799 --> 00:59:14,217
I guess this is urgent?
1119
00:59:14,342 --> 00:59:15,927
Of course it's urgent!
1120
00:59:16,052 --> 00:59:18,221
Stay calm, Anne. Do not explode.
1121
00:59:18,346 --> 00:59:20,223
Too late! I've already exploded!
1122
00:59:20,348 --> 00:59:22,184
I've dumped Jacques
and kicked out the hamster.
1123
00:59:22,309 --> 00:59:23,643
- What hamster?
- Oh, keep up!
1124
00:59:23,769 --> 00:59:26,688
Bob's taken over. He spends
more time with my kids--
1125
00:59:26,813 --> 00:59:27,898
Than you do?
1126
00:59:28,023 --> 00:59:30,317
Than butling. It's exasperating!
1127
00:59:30,442 --> 00:59:31,610
Have you fired him?
1128
00:59:31,735 --> 00:59:33,737
- I told him the hamster
has to leave immediately
1129
00:59:33,862 --> 00:59:35,405
and I want this whole house disinfected
1130
00:59:35,530 --> 00:59:36,823
from top to bottom!
1131
00:59:36,948 --> 00:59:39,367
Oh, sounds like someone has a crush.
1132
00:59:39,493 --> 00:59:43,413
- Huh! I'm paying you for this?
I'm not paying you for this!
1133
00:59:43,538 --> 00:59:46,208
Don't you dare bill me for this call!
1134
00:59:46,333 --> 00:59:48,418
Ridiculous!
1135
00:59:53,965 --> 00:59:55,759
Oh, Rascal. [squeaking]
1136
00:59:55,884 --> 00:59:58,512
Who let you out?
1137
01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:10,065
You know what, Tess?
That was out of order.
1138
01:00:10,190 --> 01:00:13,652
And if I was your father,
you would be in so much trouble.
1139
01:00:13,777 --> 01:00:15,487
- Ya dig?
- It wasn't me.
1140
01:00:15,612 --> 01:00:17,113
Yeah, whatever.
1141
01:00:18,448 --> 01:00:19,783
Whatever.
1142
01:00:31,294 --> 01:00:33,171
Bates...
1143
01:00:33,296 --> 01:00:34,881
was it you?
1144
01:00:37,092 --> 01:00:39,094
C'mon, Bates, why? C'mon.
1145
01:00:39,219 --> 01:00:41,304
Talk to me, buddy.
1146
01:00:44,474 --> 01:00:46,142
I didn't make the team.
1147
01:00:48,311 --> 01:00:49,729
You didn't. Okay.
1148
01:00:49,855 --> 01:00:51,273
That's a shame.
1149
01:00:51,398 --> 01:00:54,734
- I didn't make the team!
You said I would!
1150
01:00:54,860 --> 01:00:58,029
- Well, I never said that.
I said I would help.
1151
01:00:58,154 --> 01:00:59,823
I said I would try.
1152
01:01:01,366 --> 01:01:03,076
I wasn't good enough.
1153
01:01:03,201 --> 01:01:05,495
Not being good enough is...
1154
01:01:05,620 --> 01:01:07,455
life.
1155
01:01:07,581 --> 01:01:10,125
But you'll find you're good at something.
1156
01:01:10,250 --> 01:01:12,210
Everybody's good at something.
1157
01:01:12,335 --> 01:01:14,671
What are you good at?
1158
01:01:17,757 --> 01:01:19,593
I can catch grapes in my mouth.
1159
01:01:29,603 --> 01:01:30,770
Mom?
1160
01:01:33,773 --> 01:01:35,775
I put Rascal in your room.
1161
01:01:37,277 --> 01:01:39,487
I didn't make the team.
1162
01:01:40,780 --> 01:01:42,324
Okay.
1163
01:01:42,449 --> 01:01:46,286
- It doesn't matter, though.
I'll find something to be good at.
1164
01:02:12,604 --> 01:02:14,522
Hello, Mr. Butler?
1165
01:02:14,648 --> 01:02:15,982
Bob here.
1166
01:02:31,623 --> 01:02:33,541
You'll look after him? [squeaking]
1167
01:02:33,667 --> 01:02:34,834
Of course.
1168
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:36,836
Can I make you a cup of tea?
1169
01:02:38,463 --> 01:02:41,132
Oh, we have a regular little butler.
1170
01:02:41,257 --> 01:02:43,385
What's your name,
1171
01:02:43,510 --> 01:02:44,386
Master?
1172
01:02:44,511 --> 01:02:46,429
It's Bates.
1173
01:02:46,554 --> 01:02:48,556
Just Bates.
1174
01:02:49,808 --> 01:02:51,726
Hmm...
1175
01:02:58,483 --> 01:03:00,986
You're gonna be just fine.
1176
01:03:01,111 --> 01:03:03,738
It's like an initiation thing.
1177
01:03:08,910 --> 01:03:10,412
I'll start your room.
1178
01:03:17,794 --> 01:03:19,254
[banging] How's everything going?
1179
01:03:19,379 --> 01:03:21,798
Fine, thanks!
1180
01:03:39,607 --> 01:03:43,236
- Let's go.
- You got the stuff?
1181
01:03:43,361 --> 01:03:44,529
No problem.
1182
01:03:44,654 --> 01:03:46,531
[alarm ringing]
1183
01:03:46,656 --> 01:03:47,699
Security!
1184
01:03:47,824 --> 01:03:49,492
Ah!
1185
01:03:49,617 --> 01:03:51,161
No! Let me go!
1186
01:03:51,286 --> 01:03:52,620
You guys, wait!
1187
01:03:57,292 --> 01:03:59,044
Purple. Purple for general.
1188
01:03:59,169 --> 01:04:01,296
- What?
- Purple for general,
1189
01:04:01,421 --> 01:04:03,006
yellow for kitchen,
1190
01:04:03,131 --> 01:04:04,799
blue for bathroom.
1191
01:04:04,924 --> 01:04:06,551
Purple for general.
1192
01:04:06,676 --> 01:04:08,094
Right. [phone ringing]
1193
01:04:12,432 --> 01:04:13,808
Hello?
1194
01:04:13,933 --> 01:04:15,268
Hey, Bob!
1195
01:04:15,393 --> 01:04:17,562
It's for you.
1196
01:04:17,687 --> 01:04:19,814
Hello.
1197
01:04:19,939 --> 01:04:22,275
Jamieson family butler speaking.
1198
01:04:24,444 --> 01:04:25,945
I'll be right there.
1199
01:04:27,906 --> 01:04:29,699
I have to go.
1200
01:04:29,824 --> 01:04:31,618
Will you be okay with Mr. Butler
1201
01:04:31,743 --> 01:04:32,827
- for a while?
- Sure.
1202
01:04:35,455 --> 01:04:37,832
- Come on, Bates.
When we're finished here,
1203
01:04:37,957 --> 01:04:41,878
I'll teach you how to polish
silver by spitting on it.
1204
01:04:42,003 --> 01:04:43,129
Cool!
1205
01:04:43,254 --> 01:04:45,256
Yeah!
1206
01:04:45,381 --> 01:04:47,300
[military-style music]
1207
01:04:48,802 --> 01:04:51,638
Hey! I'm looking for Tess Jamieson.
1208
01:04:51,763 --> 01:04:54,432
- Tough love.
We give kids a dose of reality,
1209
01:04:54,557 --> 01:04:56,643
scare 'em straight before it's too late.
1210
01:04:56,768 --> 01:04:58,311
This one's not like that.
1211
01:04:58,436 --> 01:04:59,562
You're one of those
1212
01:04:59,687 --> 01:05:01,189
- always-looking-for-the-best
- in-people guys?
1213
01:05:01,314 --> 01:05:03,691
Hmm! We'll keep her for an hour or two,
1214
01:05:03,817 --> 01:05:06,402
- then you can take her.
- Listen, if I may be so bold,
1215
01:05:06,528 --> 01:05:09,364
you'll let her out this second.
Or I'll call my friend Judge Sharma
1216
01:05:09,489 --> 01:05:11,741
and I'll have your ass kicked
from here to Texas.
1217
01:05:27,423 --> 01:05:30,426
Don't worry about it.
This'll be our little secret.
1218
01:05:32,262 --> 01:05:33,680
Bob, I'm sorry.
1219
01:05:33,805 --> 01:05:36,141
About everything.
1220
01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:38,643
I lied.
1221
01:05:38,768 --> 01:05:40,061
About the luau.
1222
01:05:40,186 --> 01:05:42,480
My mom's practically a vegetarian.
1223
01:05:42,605 --> 01:05:44,232
I guess she is now.
1224
01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:45,775
Come on, let's go.
1225
01:06:02,709 --> 01:06:04,210
Omigod.
1226
01:06:04,878 --> 01:06:05,920
Bates!
1227
01:06:06,045 --> 01:06:07,589
I'm standing still, Mom!
1228
01:06:07,714 --> 01:06:09,924
I can be a butler!
1229
01:06:12,719 --> 01:06:15,013
Good evening, Miss Jamieson.
1230
01:06:18,725 --> 01:06:20,935
[scooter backfiring]
1231
01:06:25,064 --> 01:06:27,066
Tess, where have you been?!
1232
01:06:27,192 --> 01:06:29,611
I got hung up at Sophie's.
1233
01:06:29,736 --> 01:06:31,988
Bob came and got me.
1234
01:06:32,113 --> 01:06:32,947
In that?!
1235
01:06:33,072 --> 01:06:35,074
Both of you, inside now!
1236
01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:41,664
Bob, I have known for quite some time
1237
01:06:41,789 --> 01:06:44,083
that you're not the world's
greatest butler,
1238
01:06:44,209 --> 01:06:47,503
but you at least seemed
to care for my kids.
1239
01:06:47,629 --> 01:06:49,088
What kind of a man
1240
01:06:49,214 --> 01:06:52,091
leaves an eight-year-old
with a total stranger?
1241
01:06:52,217 --> 01:06:54,594
A stranger... What am I saying?
1242
01:06:54,719 --> 01:06:55,887
A psycho!
1243
01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:58,223
Who thinks that standing
on the roof of a house
1244
01:06:58,348 --> 01:07:00,183
is good training?
1245
01:07:00,308 --> 01:07:02,060
I'm sorry, Anne.
1246
01:07:02,185 --> 01:07:03,645
Miss Jamieson!
1247
01:07:05,730 --> 01:07:08,191
I'm truly sorry, Miss Jamieson.
1248
01:07:10,902 --> 01:07:12,695
I have to let you go, Bob.
1249
01:07:14,072 --> 01:07:16,574
I'll pay you
to the end of the month, but...
1250
01:07:17,909 --> 01:07:19,744
I want you to leave in the morning.
1251
01:08:31,983 --> 01:08:33,568
Let's not get ourselves down,
1252
01:08:33,693 --> 01:08:34,861
Rascal.
1253
01:08:34,986 --> 01:08:36,696
You keep going...
1254
01:08:36,821 --> 01:08:39,240
and I'll keep going.
1255
01:08:39,365 --> 01:08:40,825
[squeaking]
1256
01:08:42,452 --> 01:08:46,372
To the end of ATBJ Capital Management!
1257
01:08:46,497 --> 01:08:47,999
[all]: Finally!
1258
01:08:51,502 --> 01:08:53,004
Okay...
1259
01:08:55,673 --> 01:08:57,842
I don't feel like celebrating.
1260
01:09:07,268 --> 01:09:08,561
[knocking]
1261
01:09:10,938 --> 01:09:12,357
Come in.
1262
01:09:12,482 --> 01:09:14,275
- Why aren't you in school?
- Lunch.
1263
01:09:14,400 --> 01:09:15,693
What are you doing?
1264
01:09:15,818 --> 01:09:17,487
Lunch.
1265
01:09:17,612 --> 01:09:20,323
Welcome to my home.
1266
01:09:20,448 --> 01:09:21,866
Nice.
1267
01:09:21,991 --> 01:09:24,660
Well, my natural state is messy.
1268
01:09:24,786 --> 01:09:27,538
I'm sorry you got fired. I just wanted
1269
01:09:27,663 --> 01:09:29,165
the cool kids to like me.
1270
01:09:31,292 --> 01:09:34,796
- You know, when I was a kid, I
used to like building model cars.
1271
01:09:36,130 --> 01:09:37,840
But...
1272
01:09:37,965 --> 01:09:39,342
there was always once piece
1273
01:09:39,467 --> 01:09:41,719
I could never figure out
where it was supposed to go.
1274
01:09:41,844 --> 01:09:44,305
I always felt like that piece.
1275
01:09:45,807 --> 01:09:48,768
I've spent my whole life trying
to figure out where I fit.
1276
01:09:48,893 --> 01:09:51,521
So when you figure it out...
1277
01:09:51,646 --> 01:09:52,855
well...
1278
01:09:52,980 --> 01:09:54,482
that's good.
1279
01:09:55,942 --> 01:09:58,236
So you're saying it's good to shoplift
1280
01:09:58,361 --> 01:10:00,446
if it helps you fit in?
1281
01:10:02,865 --> 01:10:05,201
I worked for a New York designer once.
1282
01:10:05,326 --> 01:10:07,870
- You?
- I was just sewing,
1283
01:10:07,995 --> 01:10:10,540
but it was better
than a lot of jobs I've done.
1284
01:10:10,665 --> 01:10:12,417
Here.
1285
01:10:12,542 --> 01:10:14,669
Severance pay from the sweatshop.
1286
01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:18,840
Bob...
1287
01:10:18,965 --> 01:10:21,592
can you teach me how to sew?
1288
01:10:33,980 --> 01:10:36,607
- Sorry for skipping out on you.
- Yeah, we were, like,
1289
01:10:36,733 --> 01:10:38,109
so cowardly.
1290
01:10:38,234 --> 01:10:39,485
This is ace.
1291
01:10:39,610 --> 01:10:41,362
D'you steal it?
1292
01:10:41,487 --> 01:10:43,740
- I made it.
- Shut up!
1293
01:10:43,865 --> 01:10:46,242
- I want one.
- Me too!
1294
01:10:46,367 --> 01:10:48,745
- Than wouldn't we be wearing
the same top?
1295
01:10:48,870 --> 01:10:51,372
Yeah. Like a club.
1296
01:10:57,503 --> 01:10:59,005
Hey, Soph.
1297
01:11:04,427 --> 01:11:06,053
[knocking]
1298
01:11:08,097 --> 01:11:09,599
I had the best day.
1299
01:11:09,724 --> 01:11:10,767
Great.
1300
01:11:12,101 --> 01:11:13,603
He followed me.
1301
01:11:13,728 --> 01:11:16,189
- I want to be good at something.
- Well, of course you do.
1302
01:11:20,443 --> 01:11:22,320
You ever seen one of these before?
1303
01:11:22,445 --> 01:11:23,863
Check, check, check, check.
1304
01:11:23,988 --> 01:11:25,114
Check, check.
1305
01:11:25,239 --> 01:11:26,991
- Check, check.
- Does it look all right?
1306
01:11:27,116 --> 01:11:28,326
Wicked.
1307
01:11:28,451 --> 01:11:31,454
- I hope you're ready.
- Oh, God.
1308
01:11:31,579 --> 01:11:33,164
It's show time.
1309
01:11:33,289 --> 01:11:35,082
Thank you for coming, ladies and...
1310
01:11:35,208 --> 01:11:36,125
just lady.
1311
01:11:36,250 --> 01:11:38,878
I am pleased to present
1312
01:11:39,003 --> 01:11:42,089
original creations by Tess!
1313
01:11:42,215 --> 01:11:44,592
[music]
1314
01:11:44,717 --> 01:11:48,513
Be a cool girl Like you were meant to be
1315
01:11:48,638 --> 01:11:51,516
In a stunning outfit
of skirt and top retro-"chick."
1316
01:11:51,641 --> 01:11:54,185
That's our Sophie!
1317
01:11:54,310 --> 01:11:56,145
Chic, not chick.
1318
01:11:56,270 --> 01:11:57,522
Whatever.
1319
01:11:57,647 --> 01:11:59,065
And next up,
1320
01:11:59,190 --> 01:12:01,234
the twin evil girls.
1321
01:12:01,359 --> 01:12:02,610
[Anne]: Oh!
1322
01:12:02,735 --> 01:12:05,112
[Anne applauding] Whoo! Whoo-whoo-whoo!
1323
01:12:05,905 --> 01:12:07,323
And finally,
1324
01:12:07,448 --> 01:12:09,867
the heroine of the hour,
1325
01:12:09,992 --> 01:12:11,994
the one and only...
1326
01:12:12,119 --> 01:12:13,412
Miss Tess!
1327
01:12:29,220 --> 01:12:30,763
[false notes]
1328
01:12:39,605 --> 01:12:40,773
[knocking]
1329
01:12:45,528 --> 01:12:47,113
Miss Jamieson.
1330
01:12:47,238 --> 01:12:49,615
Yeah, I was just in the neighbourhood.
1331
01:12:52,451 --> 01:12:54,328
I wasn't, obviously.
1332
01:12:54,453 --> 01:12:55,955
I came to see you.
1333
01:12:57,456 --> 01:12:59,667
- Come on in.
- Ahem...
1334
01:13:06,257 --> 01:13:07,758
Here we are.
1335
01:13:11,929 --> 01:13:13,389
She's very talented.
1336
01:13:13,514 --> 01:13:16,100
You've been so good with them.
1337
01:13:16,934 --> 01:13:18,477
But I know the truth.
1338
01:13:19,604 --> 01:13:22,231
I just helped her make a few dresses.
1339
01:13:22,356 --> 01:13:26,652
You got my little girl out of jail.
1340
01:13:26,777 --> 01:13:29,447
I got a phone call this morning
from a Detective Alvarez.
1341
01:13:31,115 --> 01:13:34,160
He said that he wished that
half the fathers that he met
1342
01:13:34,285 --> 01:13:36,078
were as loyal and determined as you.
1343
01:13:36,203 --> 01:13:38,706
Don't be too hard on her.
1344
01:13:38,831 --> 01:13:41,042
I think you know me better than that.
1345
01:13:41,167 --> 01:13:43,044
I do.
1346
01:13:43,169 --> 01:13:46,547
- So what's next for you?
- Well, I got a job.
1347
01:13:46,672 --> 01:13:49,216
One of those butler cruises.
1348
01:13:49,342 --> 01:13:52,595
Around the world in 365 days.
1349
01:13:54,805 --> 01:13:56,223
That's good for you.
1350
01:13:56,349 --> 01:13:57,767
When do you leave?
1351
01:13:57,892 --> 01:13:59,894
First thing Saturday.
1352
01:14:01,354 --> 01:14:03,564
Oh, um... these...
1353
01:14:03,689 --> 01:14:06,067
are... for tomorrow.
1354
01:14:08,235 --> 01:14:09,570
Oh, wow.
1355
01:14:09,695 --> 01:14:10,821
I love the trumpet.
1356
01:14:10,947 --> 01:14:13,240
Yeah. Jacques and I were supposed to go,
1357
01:14:13,366 --> 01:14:16,077
but, uh, I thought
maybe you had someone special.
1358
01:14:17,703 --> 01:14:19,288
No.
1359
01:14:24,418 --> 01:14:27,254
- Well, I guess we, uh...
we each could take one.
1360
01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:28,756
Sure.
1361
01:14:32,259 --> 01:14:34,470
Okay, then.
1362
01:14:34,595 --> 01:14:35,763
Okay.
1363
01:14:36,430 --> 01:14:38,516
Okay, well, I'll see you there, then.
1364
01:14:39,433 --> 01:14:41,435
- Eight o'clock tomorrow.
- Okay.
1365
01:14:48,776 --> 01:14:50,695
It's not a date.
1366
01:14:50,820 --> 01:14:52,613
- It's a date.
- Is not.
1367
01:14:52,738 --> 01:14:54,991
- Is.
- Oh... it's not a date.
1368
01:14:55,116 --> 01:14:58,452
A date, huh! Just two people.
1369
01:14:58,577 --> 01:15:00,788
Two individual people who...
1370
01:15:00,913 --> 01:15:03,791
happen to be going to the
same place at the same time.
1371
01:15:03,916 --> 01:15:07,128
All I did was give Bob my extra ticket.
1372
01:15:07,253 --> 01:15:08,629
It's so a date.
1373
01:15:08,754 --> 01:15:12,299
- Who's going on a date?
- Mom. With Bob.
1374
01:15:12,425 --> 01:15:13,759
Awesome!
1375
01:15:17,763 --> 01:15:19,098
[cellphone ringing]
1376
01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:22,351
Hello.
1377
01:15:22,476 --> 01:15:24,770
[Jacques]: What are you doingat this moment?
1378
01:15:27,356 --> 01:15:30,026
[flushing]
1379
01:15:32,403 --> 01:15:33,654
Oh...
1380
01:15:33,779 --> 01:15:35,823
I'm taking care of my family.
1381
01:15:35,948 --> 01:15:39,243
I'm a single woman
of a certain age, remember?
1382
01:15:39,368 --> 01:15:41,620
Ah, tonight, we have those, uh...
1383
01:15:41,746 --> 01:15:43,289
tickets to the concert.
1384
01:15:43,414 --> 01:15:46,208
- Bye, Jacques.
- You will not use them.
1385
01:15:46,333 --> 01:15:48,753
You would not go alone.
1386
01:15:48,878 --> 01:15:50,921
Are you going alone?
1387
01:15:51,047 --> 01:15:53,716
- Are you jealous,
my little Jacques... ass?
1388
01:15:53,841 --> 01:15:55,009
Who is he?
1389
01:15:55,134 --> 01:15:56,385
Who is he?!
1390
01:15:56,510 --> 01:15:58,804
[with French accent]: Robert.
1391
01:15:58,929 --> 01:16:00,473
Robert...
1392
01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:03,893
Bobert...
1393
01:16:05,561 --> 01:16:07,021
Bob?
1394
01:16:08,564 --> 01:16:12,443
- It's just a night out
with a beautiful woman...
1395
01:16:12,568 --> 01:16:14,278
who's stolen my heart.
1396
01:16:14,403 --> 01:16:16,072
[squeaking whine] [knocking]
1397
01:16:19,075 --> 01:16:20,409
[frenzied knocking]
1398
01:16:22,536 --> 01:16:24,246
I've got a doorbell, you know.
1399
01:16:27,416 --> 01:16:30,211
- We're here to help.
Let's see what you've got.
1400
01:16:30,336 --> 01:16:32,880
- Could you have knocked
a little more, maybe?
1401
01:16:33,005 --> 01:16:34,799
Ugly...
1402
01:16:34,924 --> 01:16:36,801
ew... no...
1403
01:16:36,926 --> 01:16:38,302
tragic...
1404
01:16:38,427 --> 01:16:39,637
ew...
1405
01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:41,764
gross... no.
1406
01:16:43,766 --> 01:16:45,017
What's wrong with this?
1407
01:16:45,142 --> 01:16:47,478
Kind of bored of suits, you know?
1408
01:16:47,603 --> 01:16:48,979
It's perfect.
1409
01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:50,648
What time is the concert?
1410
01:16:50,773 --> 01:16:52,983
Doesn't take me long to get ready.
1411
01:16:53,109 --> 01:16:54,610
Maybe it should.
1412
01:17:02,535 --> 01:17:05,663
Oh, hello, sir. Can I help you?
1413
01:17:05,788 --> 01:17:08,415
This is the Cosmopolitan Butler School?
1414
01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:10,376
It is no more.
1415
01:17:11,710 --> 01:17:13,170
It is closing?
1416
01:17:13,295 --> 01:17:15,089
I'm afraid so.
1417
01:17:15,214 --> 01:17:17,925
Not enough filthy lucre to keep it alive.
1418
01:17:18,050 --> 01:17:19,593
So...
1419
01:17:19,718 --> 01:17:22,596
you trained the great Bob.
1420
01:17:23,722 --> 01:17:25,391
What about Bob?
1421
01:17:25,516 --> 01:17:28,227
- Five-day course.
1422
01:17:28,352 --> 01:17:29,103
Mon Dieu!
1423
01:17:29,228 --> 01:17:31,564
You are not a professional!
1424
01:17:31,689 --> 01:17:34,066
Just a sad British man
1425
01:17:34,191 --> 01:17:37,862
with his sad little tradition.
1426
01:17:37,987 --> 01:17:39,780
So...
1427
01:17:39,905 --> 01:17:42,449
now we have Bob the liar, too.
1428
01:17:42,575 --> 01:17:44,410
If I may say so...
1429
01:17:44,535 --> 01:17:45,953
sir...
1430
01:17:46,078 --> 01:17:48,956
Bob Tree is a finer man than most.
1431
01:17:49,081 --> 01:17:52,418
And it has been an honour to know him.
1432
01:17:52,543 --> 01:17:54,795
Bob!
1433
01:17:59,425 --> 01:18:00,593
Wow.
1434
01:18:00,718 --> 01:18:02,052
Mom, is that you?
1435
01:18:02,178 --> 01:18:05,389
I'll take that as a compliment, I think.
1436
01:18:05,514 --> 01:18:07,975
Now don't stay up too late.
1437
01:18:08,100 --> 01:18:10,561
- You sure it's not too much?
- You're a hottie.
1438
01:18:10,686 --> 01:18:13,147
- That's a good thing, right?
It's not too risqué?
1439
01:18:13,272 --> 01:18:16,275
- If you've got it, flaunt it.
That's what I always say.
1440
01:18:16,400 --> 01:18:17,776
You better not say that.
1441
01:18:19,778 --> 01:18:21,655
Good night.
1442
01:18:47,848 --> 01:18:49,308
You're early.
1443
01:18:52,478 --> 01:18:53,979
Yes, I am.
1444
01:19:27,471 --> 01:19:28,639
Hi.
1445
01:19:30,140 --> 01:19:32,810
You look... radiant.
1446
01:19:33,811 --> 01:19:35,145
Huh...
1447
01:19:35,271 --> 01:19:38,315
you said it yourself.
I have a very talented daughter.
1448
01:19:57,751 --> 01:19:59,795
- Yeah, I couldn't believe it.
- Whoa. Ticket, please, sir.
1449
01:19:59,920 --> 01:20:02,256
- Oh, I have my... my...
my ticket, it's in there.
1450
01:20:02,381 --> 01:20:03,465
- Bob has it.
- Bob who?
1451
01:20:03,590 --> 01:20:06,427
- Uh-uh-uh, Bob has my ticket. Bob. Bob.
1452
01:20:08,262 --> 01:20:09,972
Oh...
1453
01:20:10,097 --> 01:20:11,432
Ah...
1454
01:20:14,768 --> 01:20:16,270
- Forget it.
- Oh, come on.
1455
01:20:48,635 --> 01:20:50,387
It's like a dream, isn't it?
1456
01:20:59,980 --> 01:21:01,231
[applause]
1457
01:21:04,401 --> 01:21:06,028
You wanna go backstage?
1458
01:21:06,153 --> 01:21:08,322
I don't think we're allowed.
1459
01:21:08,447 --> 01:21:10,282
All right, follow me.
1460
01:21:12,785 --> 01:21:14,995
Bob! Yeah!!!
1461
01:21:15,120 --> 01:21:16,330
- Euh...
- Hi, Bob.
1462
01:21:16,455 --> 01:21:18,665
- How ya doin'?
- Bob? Bob!
1463
01:21:18,791 --> 01:21:21,377
Mama Clara! She fired me.
1464
01:21:21,502 --> 01:21:24,004
You sure we can do this?
1465
01:21:24,129 --> 01:21:25,172
Ooh.
1466
01:21:25,297 --> 01:21:27,299
- Bob, is that you?
- Vince.
1467
01:21:28,133 --> 01:21:29,510
- Come on, Anne.
- Ah...
1468
01:21:29,635 --> 01:21:31,345
- How ya doin'?
- Good. How are you?
1469
01:21:31,470 --> 01:21:32,679
- Ahem.
- Good to see you.
1470
01:21:32,805 --> 01:21:35,182
I want you to meet a friend of mine,
1471
01:21:35,307 --> 01:21:36,517
- Anne Jamieson.
- Charmed.
1472
01:21:36,642 --> 01:21:38,143
The pleasure's mine.
1473
01:21:38,268 --> 01:21:41,021
- You know, a few of us are
going out for something to eat.
1474
01:21:41,146 --> 01:21:43,690
Would you and your date
like to, uh, go with us?
1475
01:21:43,816 --> 01:21:46,610
- Well, she's not a date.
- Uh, we'd love to.
1476
01:21:46,735 --> 01:21:47,986
- Fantastic.
- We'd love to...
1477
01:21:48,112 --> 01:21:50,781
I... I saw them go back there.
1478
01:21:50,906 --> 01:21:52,366
- Who?
- Oh, Bob. Bob.
1479
01:21:52,491 --> 01:21:54,827
- Are you... are you deaf?
- Huh!
1480
01:21:54,952 --> 01:21:56,495
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
1481
01:21:56,620 --> 01:21:59,373
- Whoo!!! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
1482
01:21:59,498 --> 01:22:00,916
[screaming]
1483
01:22:01,041 --> 01:22:02,751
[excited screaming]
1484
01:22:07,047 --> 01:22:08,966
Oh! [giggling]
1485
01:22:09,091 --> 01:22:10,634
- Oh!
- Whoa.
1486
01:22:10,759 --> 01:22:14,138
- You seem like you know
everyone in the whole city.
1487
01:22:14,263 --> 01:22:16,640
Yeah. Well, I've been fired a lot.
1488
01:22:16,765 --> 01:22:19,601
[Anne laughing]
1489
01:22:19,726 --> 01:22:22,438
- It was a wonderful evening.
- Oh, Anne, your dress.
1490
01:22:22,563 --> 01:22:23,439
- Oh!
- Your dress.
1491
01:22:23,564 --> 01:22:26,108
- Oh, your dress.
- Ah!! Oh!
1492
01:22:26,233 --> 01:22:27,776
- Aha...
- Oh, jeez.
1493
01:22:27,901 --> 01:22:31,405
- Did you and Tess plan this?
- Yeah, I...
1494
01:22:31,530 --> 01:22:34,199
I did teach her to sew.
1495
01:22:34,324 --> 01:22:36,535
Laugh! But not for long.
1496
01:22:36,660 --> 01:22:38,537
If I weren't a gentleman,
1497
01:22:38,662 --> 01:22:39,872
I would kill you right now.
1498
01:22:39,997 --> 01:22:42,332
- Oh, Jacques!
This isn't any of your business!
1499
01:22:42,458 --> 01:22:44,710
It is my business.
1500
01:22:44,835 --> 01:22:48,839
- Put some clothes on!
- Don't you tell me what to do.
1501
01:22:48,964 --> 01:22:52,342
I'll... run around stark naked
if I want to.
1502
01:22:52,468 --> 01:22:55,971
- Anne, you have been fooled.
He is not a proper butler.
1503
01:22:56,096 --> 01:22:59,725
- Maybe I should just go.
- Oh, you think you can just sneak away?
1504
01:22:59,850 --> 01:23:01,101
After what you did?
1505
01:23:01,226 --> 01:23:04,354
You cannot take advantage
of a middle-aged woman!
1506
01:23:04,480 --> 01:23:07,441
- Oh! I am not middle-aged!
1507
01:23:07,566 --> 01:23:09,109
Am I?
1508
01:23:09,234 --> 01:23:10,652
You're beautiful.
1509
01:23:12,029 --> 01:23:13,989
And I'm going to hire Bob.
1510
01:23:14,114 --> 01:23:18,619
- To do what?!
He trained for five days! Five!
1511
01:23:18,744 --> 01:23:20,579
- Cinq!
- You were gonna hire me?
1512
01:23:20,704 --> 01:23:22,915
I... I... I... Well, you really care
1513
01:23:23,040 --> 01:23:25,459
for my children and they adore you.
1514
01:23:25,584 --> 01:23:27,794
Ah, Anne! This situation is intolerable!
1515
01:23:27,920 --> 01:23:30,297
No, this situation is fine.
1516
01:23:30,422 --> 01:23:31,965
You are intolerable.
1517
01:23:34,426 --> 01:23:35,844
C'est fini?
1518
01:23:35,969 --> 01:23:37,095
Au revoir!!!
1519
01:23:37,221 --> 01:23:38,722
Au revoir!
1520
01:23:38,847 --> 01:23:41,433
- Good riddance!
- Talk to my hand!
1521
01:23:44,728 --> 01:23:46,772
So would you... come back to work?
1522
01:23:46,897 --> 01:23:50,317
The... children miss you
and... well, we all miss you.
1523
01:23:50,442 --> 01:23:51,902
I can't.
1524
01:23:52,027 --> 01:23:54,321
I don't understand.
1525
01:23:54,446 --> 01:23:55,948
It wouldn't be appropriate.
1526
01:24:09,753 --> 01:24:11,421
Aren't you going after him?
1527
01:24:12,756 --> 01:24:15,092
He's leaving first thing in the morning.
1528
01:24:30,983 --> 01:24:33,527
Get up, Mom. [groaning]
1529
01:24:33,652 --> 01:24:36,738
- Tess, what are you doing?
- Why did you work this hard, Mom?
1530
01:24:38,240 --> 01:24:39,950
You're all alone.
1531
01:24:40,075 --> 01:24:41,577
Mom,
1532
01:24:41,702 --> 01:24:44,454
he's part of our family.
1533
01:24:52,963 --> 01:24:54,256
Stay here.
1534
01:24:54,381 --> 01:24:55,382
Go, Mom!
1535
01:24:55,507 --> 01:24:56,967
[Bates]: Go, Mom!
1536
01:24:57,092 --> 01:24:58,677
Go, Mom! Go, Mom!
1537
01:24:58,802 --> 01:25:01,888
[both]: Go, Mom! Go, Mom!...
1538
01:25:05,892 --> 01:25:07,311
Go, Mom! Go, Mom!
1539
01:25:07,436 --> 01:25:09,980
Go, Mom! Go, Mom! Go, Mom!
1540
01:25:16,320 --> 01:25:18,989
Go, Mom! Go, Mom!
1541
01:25:22,284 --> 01:25:23,660
What happened?
1542
01:25:23,785 --> 01:25:25,287
[Anne sighing]
1543
01:25:27,748 --> 01:25:29,499
That happened.
1544
01:25:31,752 --> 01:25:34,087
That's the butler cruise.
1545
01:25:35,589 --> 01:25:37,424
You mean Bob left?
1546
01:25:45,849 --> 01:25:47,100
What a mess!
1547
01:25:47,225 --> 01:25:48,685
A real mess!
1548
01:25:51,271 --> 01:25:53,440
It's a real mess.
1549
01:25:55,108 --> 01:25:57,235
Maybe he'll come back.
1550
01:25:57,361 --> 01:25:59,321
Get tidy, Anne.
1551
01:25:59,446 --> 01:26:00,906
Get tidy.
1552
01:26:12,167 --> 01:26:15,587
I'm sorry, kids. We lost Bob
and it's all my fault.
1553
01:26:16,421 --> 01:26:17,881
But I wanna thank you -
1554
01:26:18,006 --> 01:26:19,299
both.
1555
01:26:19,424 --> 01:26:21,593
I love you so much.
1556
01:26:21,718 --> 01:26:23,220
Both of you.
1557
01:26:25,180 --> 01:26:27,140
Please don't look at me like that.
1558
01:26:34,106 --> 01:26:36,358
They say kids bounce back, but...
1559
01:26:47,119 --> 01:26:48,453
Bob!
1560
01:26:51,415 --> 01:26:54,000
- Bob!
- Hi.
1561
01:26:54,126 --> 01:26:55,836
What about the butler cruise?
1562
01:26:55,961 --> 01:26:57,629
I couldn't leave.
1563
01:26:57,754 --> 01:26:59,506
Thought I'd stay.
1564
01:26:59,631 --> 01:27:02,217
- Car-washing?
- Well, it's early on
1565
01:27:02,342 --> 01:27:03,719
in the Cs.
1566
01:27:27,617 --> 01:27:28,744
Hey!
1567
01:27:29,745 --> 01:27:31,621
This is a song
1568
01:27:31,747 --> 01:27:34,958
About my desire to find work
1569
01:27:35,083 --> 01:27:38,503
My desire to find a family
1570
01:27:38,628 --> 01:27:40,797
For the food we are about to receive
1571
01:27:40,922 --> 01:27:43,467
{\an8}and for my new dad, Bob,
1572
01:27:43,592 --> 01:27:44,634
{\an8}- we thank you, God.
- Amen.
1573
01:27:44,760 --> 01:27:45,969
{\an8}[all]: Amen.
1574
01:27:46,094 --> 01:27:49,139
{\an8}Oh, honey, why don't I carve?
1575
01:27:49,264 --> 01:27:50,348
{\an8}- Ahem-hem.
1576
01:27:50,474 --> 01:27:53,226
{\an8}That's a gentleman's job. Ma'am.
1577
01:27:57,773 --> 01:27:58,940
{\an8}Check it
1578
01:27:59,065 --> 01:28:00,275
{\an8}[flatulence]
1579
01:28:02,152 --> 01:28:03,987
{\an8}Not again!
1580
01:28:04,112 --> 01:28:05,864
{\an8}Oh. nooooo!
1581
01:28:05,989 --> 01:28:08,700
{\an8}[BOOM!]
1582
01:28:08,825 --> 01:28:10,619
{\an8}Dinner is served.
1583
01:28:12,621 --> 01:28:15,165
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob I'm looking for a job ♪
1584
01:28:15,290 --> 01:28:17,667
{\an8}♪ When I'm not getting firedI'm living like a slob ♪
1585
01:28:17,793 --> 01:28:20,170
{\an8}♪ Go through the phonebooklooking for work ♪
1586
01:28:20,295 --> 01:28:23,173
{\an8}♪ I want to be an astronautlike Captain Kirk ♪
1587
01:28:23,298 --> 01:28:25,175
{\an8}♪ Flip burgers to make me a buck ♪
1588
01:28:25,300 --> 01:28:27,511
{\an8}♪ Burn down the restaurantis just bad luck ♪
1589
01:28:27,636 --> 01:28:30,347
{\an8}♪ I got another occupation under my belt ♪
1590
01:28:30,472 --> 01:28:32,682
{\an8}♪ Keeping a job for two weeksI'm doing well ♪
1591
01:28:32,808 --> 01:28:34,559
{\an8}♪ Like the time at the barbershop ♪
1592
01:28:34,684 --> 01:28:37,354
{\an8}♪ Gave it all I gotchopped up an earlobe ♪
1593
01:28:37,479 --> 01:28:39,689
{\an8}♪ He bled a lot He never said a lot ♪
1594
01:28:39,815 --> 01:28:43,193
{\an8}♪ He just screamed and got bloodon my brand new blue jeans ♪
1595
01:28:43,318 --> 01:28:45,695
{\an8}♪ Oh golly gee did it again ♪
1596
01:28:45,821 --> 01:28:48,365
{\an8}♪ I talked to my hamster my only friend ♪
1597
01:28:48,490 --> 01:28:50,534
{\an8}♪ Go through the phonebook againlike a fool ♪
1598
01:28:50,659 --> 01:28:53,537
{\an8}♪ And I see something it's butler school ♪
1599
01:28:53,662 --> 01:28:55,872
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob andI'm looking like a slob Bob ♪
1600
01:28:55,997 --> 01:28:58,542
{\an8}♪ My name is Boband I need to get a job Bob ♪
1601
01:28:58,667 --> 01:29:01,127
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob not Robert just Bob ♪
1602
01:29:01,253 --> 01:29:03,630
{\an8}♪ My name is Boband I need to get a job Bob ♪
1603
01:29:03,755 --> 01:29:06,132
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob andI'm looking like a slob Bob ♪
1604
01:29:06,258 --> 01:29:08,635
{\an8}♪ My name is Boband I need to get a job Bob ♪
1605
01:29:08,760 --> 01:29:11,304
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob not Bobert just Bob ♪
1606
01:29:11,429 --> 01:29:13,807
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob and I need to get a job ♪
1607
01:29:13,932 --> 01:29:16,142
{\an8}♪ So I jumped on my motorbikegonna be a butler ♪
1608
01:29:16,268 --> 01:29:18,645
{\an8}♪ When to the schoolit was like no other ♪
1609
01:29:18,770 --> 01:29:21,147
{\an8}♪ They made me balanceplates on my head yeah ♪
1610
01:29:21,273 --> 01:29:23,650
{\an8}♪ They made me make a naked dudeget dressed ♪
1611
01:29:23,775 --> 01:29:26,152
{\an8}♪ He dressed me up in a suit and a vest ♪
1612
01:29:26,278 --> 01:29:28,655
{\an8}♪ Took me to the rooftop for a test ♪
1613
01:29:28,780 --> 01:29:31,157
{\an8}♪ Made me climb to the edge real slow ♪
1614
01:29:31,283 --> 01:29:33,660
{\an8}♪ Looked at the ground and I got vertigo ♪
1615
01:29:33,785 --> 01:29:35,996
{\an8}♪ I thought about a womanthat I met the other day ♪
1616
01:29:36,121 --> 01:29:38,498
{\an8}♪ And the vertigo stoppedspinning it went away ♪
1617
01:29:38,623 --> 01:29:41,001
{\an8}♪ It felt real good what can I say ♪
1618
01:29:41,126 --> 01:29:43,503
{\an8}♪ I think I'm gonna be a butlerI'm on my way ♪
1619
01:29:43,628 --> 01:29:46,506
{\an8}♪ 'Cause my name is Bob andI'm looking like a slob Bob ♪
1620
01:29:46,631 --> 01:29:49,175
{\an8}♪ My name is Boband I need to get a job Bob ♪
1621
01:29:49,301 --> 01:29:51,678
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob not Bobert just Bob ♪
1622
01:29:51,803 --> 01:29:54,306
{\an8}♪ My name is Boband I need to get a job Bob ♪
1623
01:29:54,431 --> 01:29:56,683
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob and I'mlooking like a slob Bob ♪
1624
01:29:56,808 --> 01:29:59,352
{\an8}♪ My name is Boband I need to get a job Bob ♪
1625
01:29:59,477 --> 01:30:01,813
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob not Bobert just Bob ♪
1626
01:30:01,938 --> 01:30:04,316
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob and I need to get a job ♪
1627
01:30:04,441 --> 01:30:06,985
{\an8}♪ Went to the placeand I got a job on the spot ♪
1628
01:30:07,110 --> 01:30:09,321
{\an8}♪ Living in the atticI didn't need a lot ♪
1629
01:30:09,446 --> 01:30:11,656
{\an8}♪ Take the dust to dust I attack this ♪
1630
01:30:11,781 --> 01:30:14,326
{\an8}♪ Brought the kidsto basketball practice ♪
1631
01:30:14,451 --> 01:30:16,828
{\an8}♪ I make dinner some kind of luau ♪
1632
01:30:16,953 --> 01:30:18,997
{\an8}♪ I want to make the lady say wow ♪
1633
01:30:19,122 --> 01:30:21,666
{\an8}♪ But the lady comes homeand the pig explodes ♪
1634
01:30:21,791 --> 01:30:24,336
{\an8}♪ Messed up again that's all she wrote ♪
1635
01:30:24,461 --> 01:30:26,671
{\an8}♪ Pretty soon I'll be back on the street ♪
1636
01:30:26,796 --> 01:30:29,341
{\an8}♪ Looking for a job with nothing to eat ♪
1637
01:30:29,466 --> 01:30:32,010
{\an8}♪ Maybe I could be a rapperrapping on the beat ♪
1638
01:30:32,135 --> 01:30:34,512
{\an8}♪ Get you on the dance floormoving your feet ♪
1639
01:30:34,638 --> 01:30:37,182
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob andI'm looking like a slob Bob ♪
1640
01:30:37,307 --> 01:30:39,684
{\an8}♪ My name is Boband I need to get a job Bob ♪
1641
01:30:39,809 --> 01:30:42,187
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob not Bobert just Bob ♪
1642
01:30:42,312 --> 01:30:44,689
{\an8}♪ My name is Boband I need to get a job Bob ♪
1643
01:30:44,814 --> 01:30:47,192
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob andI'm looking like a slob Bob ♪
1644
01:30:47,317 --> 01:30:49,694
{\an8}♪ My name is Boband I need to get a job Bob ♪
1645
01:30:49,819 --> 01:30:52,364
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob not Bobert just Bob ♪
1646
01:30:52,489 --> 01:30:54,699
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob and I need to get a job ♪
1647
01:30:54,824 --> 01:30:57,202
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob andI'm looking like a slob Bob ♪
1648
01:30:57,327 --> 01:30:59,871
{\an8}♪ My name is Boband I need to get a job Bob ♪
1649
01:30:59,996 --> 01:31:02,457
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob not Bobert just Bob ♪
1650
01:31:02,582 --> 01:31:04,960
{\an8}♪ My name is Boband I need to get a job Bob ♪
1651
01:31:05,085 --> 01:31:07,462
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob andI'm looking like a slob Bob ♪
1652
01:31:07,587 --> 01:31:09,965
{\an8}♪ My name is Boband I need to get a job Bob ♪
1653
01:31:10,090 --> 01:31:12,634
{\an8}♪ My name is Bob not Bobert just Bob ♪
1654
01:31:12,759 --> 01:31:15,261
{\an8}♪ My name is Boband I need to get a job ♪♪
113302
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